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my-castles-crumbling · 22 hours

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"These people only raise you to cage you."

~ Taylor Swift (But Daddy I Love Him) Pairing: jegulus (reg angst)- Rating: T

One more day.

One more day until he was seventeen. Until he could escape. Until he could be with James forever.

He took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling, willing himself not to cry in relief, at the prospect of truly being free. Being happy.

"Regulus!"

He heard his mother call him from down the stairs and he sat up nervously.

"Someone is here to see you!"

-

Twenty-four hours later, Regulus sat on his bed, sobbing, grasping his newly-Marked arm, trying not to panic as his entire world fell apart around him.

He knew: he was never escaping now.

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outromoony · 1 month

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"Let it once be me"

Wolfstar microfic | Word count: 984 | ttpdmicrofic

@my-castles-crumbling

Sirius was crying in his bed.

Remus could hear him quietly sobbing beneath the covers. He usually couldn't, not when the other boy was always so careful to cast silence charms when he was having a bad night, but he could hear him now, and the sound of it was threatening to tear him apart.

Remus had never seen Sirius cry, at least not openly. Sirius never let him see him in that state; he always tried to run away from him to James or even Peter to comfort him when something happened. It was usually family matters, or at least that's what Remus thought, since Sirius would never open up to him. It hurt him, knowing that Sirius was in any type of pain, knowing that anyone had the power to make him look so vulnerable, and it hurt him that Sirius never trusted him with his secrets the way Remus trusted Sirius with his; he trusted him blindly with his secrets, with every single thought that made him who he was. Yet Sirius seemed to be breaking apart too often lately, and he couldn't even stand to look at Remus right in the eyes when it happened.

He got out of his own bed and followed the sound of Sirius's tears. They stopped instantly, and Remus knew Sirius must have heard him.

"Sirius?" Remus whispered close to the curtains. A noise close to a choke came out of them, and then Sirius emerged from behind, not meeting Remus's gaze.

"Sorry I woke you up," Sirius sniffed. Remus knew that the reason he was trying to look in the opposite direction was because Remus could see perfectly in the dark, and he didn't want him to see his red eyes and swollen face. "I was just—"

"What's wrong?" Remus asked before Sirius could finish, trying to be as gentle as possible. What if the reason Sirius never talked to him was because he was bad with words? Because he was too cold? "Sirius, please talk to me."

"It's nothing, just..." Sirius swallowed, closing his eyes. "I will just talk to James in the morning."

That was like a punch in the stomach to hear, because Remus was right there, yet Sirius preferred to wait hours to speak with James about it, and if he couldn't, Remus knew he would prefer not to talk about it at all.

"I—am I too harsh? Do you think I wouldn't understand? That I would judge you?" Remus couldn't wrap his mind around what Sirius might think of him, and maybe that was his own fault for trying so hard to keep a facade for everyone else. "I know you don't trust me, and that's fine; you don't have to, but just please—"

"Fuck, Remus, I trust you with my life," Sirius finally looked at him, and the only thing Remus could see in his beautiful blue eyes was pure sadness. "I trust you with everything I am; this has nothing to do with trust."

"Then what?" Remus almost shouted, almost forgetting it was three in the morning and the rest of his friends were sleeping peacefully. "Why do you always push me away when you're feeling down? Why would you never talk to me? Why is it always James, Peter, or even sometimes the girls? Sirius, please, just... let it be me; let it once be me."

Sirius was looking at him with wide eyes, and when he finally spoke, his voice sounded so small it almost made Remus cry.

"It has always been you," He said those words as if they were the secret of the creation of the universe, as if that was the answer Remus had been waiting for. "It has always been you; everyone knows it but you."

"What are you—"

"You're the reason I try to be strong, the reason I try to stop the tears from falling and the heart from aching, because you once told me I was the bravest boy you've ever met, but I am not, Remus, not anymore, and I cannot stand to look at you when I am a bloody tangle of sadness for something so fucking stupid."

"Siriu—"

"And you're so... you, and in everything I do, in every decision I take, there's always your name in the back of my mind, and I want you to love me so fucking bad, but how could you ever do that when I'm just a pile of disaster and sadness?"

"I love you," Remus responded almost immediately without even thinking about it, meaning every word. "I love you—the brave you, the sad you, the disaster you. That's not changing, Sirius, ever; there's nothing you could do or say that would make me feel different about you; you dont need to pretend with me, to hide. I thought we stopped hiding from each other a long time ago."

"You just—you don't understend, Remus; you would not be saying this if you knew how I feel about you. You don't love me the way I love you; you don't—"

"I do," Remus whispered softly. He bent down slightly to remove Sirius's hand from his face and took it between his own, kissing his knuckles. "I really fucking do."

Sirius held his breath the moment Remus spoke those words, his hand almost shaking when Remus lifted it to touch his lips. His eyes were mostly full of something like surprise and disbelief; but behind all of that, Remus could see love—oh, so much love.

"So..." Remus spoke when Sirius didn't. "Can it be me? Please? Just this one time."

And then Sirius finally smiled, a tender expression crossing his face. “Maybe it’s time we let it be us.”

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wistfulenchantress · 24 days

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you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

@my-castles-crumbling ttpd microfic (nonromantic)

"Look, Reg, fuck, I was scared! I don't know what you want from me."

Regulus stares at him. "You were scared? You get to leave. You have people who love you and you are brave and... you wouldn't last a minute where I am."

"I wouldn't last?" Sirius takes a step forward, "You couldn't handle what they throw at me."

"What do you think they do when you leave? When you galavant off to James or back to school? When you were put in Gryffindor who do you think they turned on?"

Sirius takes a step back.

"So don't tell me about scared."

And then Regulus walks away, silently begging Sirius to follow him.

#ttpdmicrofic

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my-castles-crumbling · 2 days

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"When the truth comes out, they're quiet."

~ Taylor Swift (Cassandra) Pairing: wolfstar angst - Rating: T

It was the smallest thing. An article in the back of the paper, hardly two inches long, detailing Sirius's innocence.

'A tragic mistake,' It had said. As if throwing Sirius into prison without a trial was some sort of horrid oversight.

Shaking, Remus crumpled up the paper and threw it into the fire, allowing the grief to overcome him again as he pictured the loud, screaming, obnoxious headlines accusing Sirius when he'd first been put away. When he'd escaped. Even when he'd been in hiding.

But now?

Remus looked around his small apartment and gasped out a sob.

It was so quiet.

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my-castles-crumbling · 22 days

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"I'm having his baby- No, I'm not, but you should see your faces."

~ Taylor Swift (But Daddy I Love Him) Pairing: Jegulus - Rating: T - Trans!Reg

He wasn't sure what made him say it. Perhaps it was that he was sick of his parents' constant lecturing. Maybe he was feeling particularly rebellious. Reconciling with Sirius had had a horrible influence on his rule-following abilities. It could be that he just wanted to cause some drama.

But as they were once again going on and on about how he was to break up with James Potter, marry a nice traditional pureblood, stop his testosterone potions and become the child they expected him to be, he just snapped.

"Well, I'm pregnant," he said flatly, interrupting Walburga's insane ranting.

"You- what?" she asked, eyes bulging.

"Yes. Potter's knocked me up with his crazy, Muggle-loving bastard baby. So what now, Mother?" he asked, rubbing lightly at his stomach, fighting back a grin at the way she looked to be experiencing an aneurism. It was a lovely sight.

"Orion. What do we do?" she asked desperately, turning to her husband, who was still gaping like a fish out of water.

But, feeling quite done with the conversation, Regulus stood. "I'm not actually pregnant. If you'd bothered to pay attention to anything about my life at all, you would know my potions make it so I can't get pregnant. But I think I am leaving. Goodbye, Mother. Father."

And with that, he swept from the room, his mind already on the quickest way to get to Potter Manor.

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my-castles-crumbling · 15 days

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"Where's the trophy? He just comes running over to me."

~ Taylor Swift (The Alchemy) Pairing: Jegulus - Rating: G

The crowd was screaming. Cheering Regulus’s name, reaching for him, trying to get any piece of him they could.

As if they normally paid him any attention.

It was suffocating. The way they pressed in on him when he touched down to the ground, the way Barty and Evan made to pull him up on their shoulders, even as he still clutched at his broom and the winning Snitch.

But he pushed away from them. Instead, his eyes scanned the crowd, searching for a flash of maroon.

And there he was- amongst his mourning teammates, James Potter stood there, beaming. Watching the way Regulus was surrounded by proud housemates. Smiling directly at him.

He did it without thinking. Without worrying about keeping their secret thing a secret. Because, for some reason, all he wanted to do was celebrate with James. Not his friends or his teammates, or anyone else. So he began pushing toward him, a matching grin on his own face, and jumped into his waiting arms.

“You did amazing, baby,” James murmured into his ear, ignoring the obvious public display of affection, just allowing Regulus to make his home there.

“I kicked your arse,” Regulus smirked, heart light as air, pulling his boyfriend close, kissing him squarely on the lips in front of thousands of people.

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my-castles-crumbling · 5 days

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"You're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road."

~ Taylor Swift (The Tortured Poets Department) Pairing: jegulus - Rating: T (mention of trauma, unhealthy coping)

"Go away, James," Regulus murmured, curling himself into a ball, cradling his head in his hands, doing everything he could to shut out the outside world.

It didn't matter. He couldn't escape it. The memories of his mother's cruelty, his father's violence. He wanted to scream.

"No, Reg."

"Go AWAY," Regulus shouted, stifling tears, slamming his fist down on the mattress.

Don't leave, he thought. I don't know why I do this. Don't leave, please.

There were footsteps. The creak of a door. Quiet.

Regulus let out a loud sob, knowing that James, just like everyone else, had left. That it was his own fault. That he'd pushed him away.

But then a voice spoke, shocking Regulus out of his crying. "I'm sitting by the door, love. I'll respect your space. But I'm not leaving. I'll never leave you when you're upset. I promised you, I would never."

And this time, when Regulus fell back into his tears, sobs making his entire body shake, he felt a little less lonely, knowing that James was there with him.

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my-castles-crumbling · 27 days

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"If it's make-believe, why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?"

~ Taylor Swift (Guilty as Sin?) Pairing: Jegulus- Rating: T

"Are you sure this is real? That you can trust him? He is, well..." Evan trailed off, shrugging.

"He's a fucking Gryffindor," Barty finished. "A Gryffindor who probably thinks we're all bigoted creeps."

"Speak for yourself. I'm homophobic," Dorcas grinned.

"You're gay!" Barty retorted, looking thoroughly confused.

"Yeah. And I hate myself. And you lot," Dorcas laughed, sticking out her tongue.

But Regulus was far too busy contemplating Evan's question. He pictured James's eyes, so genuine and full of adoration, as he kissed Regulus and murmured, "I'd do anything for you, Regulus. I'm yours. I hope you know that."

"Actually..." he said softly, causing the others to look up. "I think this is pretty fucking real."

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my-castles-crumbling · 30 days

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"I choose you and me, religiously."

~ Taylor Swift (Guilty as Sin) Pairing: jegulus - Rating: T

"Your loyalty lies with the Dark Lord. All other ties must be severed. Your life belongs to Him, now. You face a fate worse than death, should you disobey."

Regulus sobs and screams as the Dark Mark pierces his skin.

-

"You loyalty is to the Order. You will attend all meetings, follow all orders, and swear allegiance to Dumbledore. You will pass on any and all information about He Who Must Not Be Named and his followers to the Order."

James sighs as he nods his head, shaking hands with Albus and leaving the room without a word.

-

"Does it hurt, baby?" James asks, fingers tracing lightly over Regulus's tattooed forearm.

Regulus, his face still tear-stained and his body shaking, murmurs, "S'not so bad, now you're here."

"I'm here, darling," James repeats, pulling the younger man close. "I'll never leave you."

"I'm so sorry, James, I tried-"

"Shhh," James murmurs, pressing a kiss on Regulus's clammy forehead. "It's alright. Just..." he takes a breath and looks Regulus in the eyes. "Don't be in Knockturn on the 3rd, yeah?"

Shifting in James's lap, Regulus nods before answering, "Don't be in Diagon on the tenth."

The silence between them is palpable as the reality hits.

"We’ll get through this, love," James murmurs, pulling Regulus close again. "I'll always choose you. You know that."

Thanks, @starchasersunseeker and @beautyoftheships!

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my-castles-crumbling · 1 month

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"You'll find that you were never not mine."

~ Taylor Swift (imgonnagetyouback) Pairing: wolfstar - Rating: T

"Did you kiss her?" He asked, dreading the answer.

"Kiss who?" Sirius retorted, slurring a bit, stepping toward him.

"McKinnon," Remus whispered. The images of Sirius and Marlene curled up together on the same sofa accosted his brain like an attack dog.

Sirius chuckled wryly, looking annoyed. "No. She's shagging that Slytherin beater. You know, the girl?"

Remus tried not to sigh in relief. "And MacDonald? Heard you hooked up with her."

"From who? Because if you heard from Miller, he's a fucking liar," Sirius all-but growled.

"So you didn't-?"

"No, Moony! I haven't done shit since- since..." Sirius trailed off, both of their minds turning back to the party a few weeks ago, where they'd fallen into Sirius's bed, eager lips pressed against each other. And then promptly not talked about it at all.

But Remus was frozen, trying to decide if Sirius meant what he thought he meant. "You...it wasn't just...?"

"Fuck, Remus," Sirius cursed, pressing himself against the taller boy. "I've been yours for ages. My whole life, probably. You can't see it?"

And for the first time, he could.

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my-castles-crumbling · 28 days

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"I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you."

~ Taylor Swift (So High School) Pairing: Jegulus - Rating: T

'You are a member of the fucking Noble and Most Ancient House of Black,' Regulus thought to himself as his eyes scanned the crowd for a mop of dark hair. 'You can speak four languages. You received all O's on your OWLs. You are smart and not bad-looking and you will keep yourself together because-' "Ah!" he screeched out loud, ducking behind Dorcas.

"What the- Reg? What's wrong?" Dorcas asked, confused.

"Salazar, I saw Potter and he looks bloody fit," Regulus groaned, still crouched behind his friend.

So much for keeping it together.

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my-castles-crumbling · 9 days

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"You knew what you wanted and boy, you got (him)."

~ Taylor Swift (So High School) Pairing: Jegulus - Rating: G

It was August when he caught sight of Regulus for the first time up close. They'd always been so separate. Regulus had been untouchable, someone he was forbidden from even thinking of. So when Regulus finally ran away from home and came to the Potters', James allowed himself to look. And he caught sight of the eyes that he couldn't get enough of.

It was August when he knew. That small boy with fear in his gray eyes was all he wanted. They were meant for each other.

-

It was November when he told Sirius. When he couldn't hold in his feelings for one more minute. He talked to Regulus, sure, but he did his best to act normally, to not scare him off. So he needed to tell someone.

"You're sixteen, James. You hardly know him. There's no way you could know he's the love of your life," Sirius grumbled, looking a bit nervous.

"I know," James nodded, smiling a bit. "I love him."

-

It was December the first time he plucked up the courage to flirt with Regulus. To make a move, of sorts.

"You look good today, Reggie," he nearly shouted as he passed the younger boy.

"You look like arse, Potter!" the other boy retorted, but he had a smirk on his face.

And it just made James want him more.

-

It was January the first time he touched Regulus. It was an innocent thing, just a pat on the shoulder, but James felt his fingers catch fire with it.

And Regulus's eyes- they looked so intense, too. Like he was feeling the same way.

But as soon as the moment happened, it dissipated.

"Bye, Potter," Regulus mumbled, running off.

-

It was March when James kissed Regulus for the first time. They were both at a party, and Regulus looked so good, and for once, James just allowed himself to feel.

And when their lips touched, his entire chest felt like it was cracking open with happiness. It wasn't his first kiss, not by a long shot, but it was the best kiss of his life, the first kiss that felt truly right. Regulus melted into him like he belonged there, and James savored every second.

Until they pulled apart.

"We can't do this," Regulus murmured, and he turned away.

-

It was April by the time James caught Regulus alone.

"You won't let this go, will you?" Regulus shouted at him, looking nervous, like he wanted to run.

"No," James said truthfully. "No, just...I want you, Reg. Have for ages. And there's no way you can tell me that you don't feel the same way. Not after that kiss."

Regulus scoffed. "You don't know what you want, James."

"Yes, I do! Ask anyone! It's you, Reg! It's only you!" James said loudly. "And if that's the issue, I'll go my entire life proving it to you!"

Regulus looked shocked at James's statement. "That's...a lot to promise."

"Too much?" James asked, silently praying he hadn't gone too far.

"I...don't think so," Regulus murmured, a small smile playing on his face.

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my-castles-crumbling · 19 days

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"Everything had been above board (s)he wasn't sure."

~ Taylor Swift (The Manuscript) Pairing: none (Black Brothers Angst) - Rating: M -CW: Child Abuse (Walburga Black's A+ Parenting)

“There are three Unforgivable Curses,” the Professor lectured, pointing his wand at the chalkboard to highlight the three spells listed there. “The Cruciatus Curse is the first. It is used to induce excruciating and debilitating torture that can cause the victim to descend into madness in rare cases. Sometimes-”

But Regulus, who was sitting in the back of the room, raised a trembling hand.

“Yes, Mister Black?” the Professor asked, looking up.

“Excuse me, Professor. But I know you said earlier these Curses are extremely illegal. That’s not in all cases, correct? I know they’re allowed for punishment, for example,” Regulus asked blandly, his expression emotionless.

The Professor stared, blood draining from his face. “N-no, Mister Black. They’re illegal in all circumstances. No matter what. Not even the Ministry is allowed to cast them. Really, I can’t imagine anyone wanting to use such an evil spell….”

But Regulus’s eyes had glazed over, as if he was a million miles away.

-

Sirius hadn’t talked to his brother for months when, suddenly, the younger boy ran up to him, gasping for air and choking back tears. “It- it- they…Sirius,” he stuttered, grabbing for his brother. “They hurt us. They weren’t supposed to. Were they?”

And Sirius, tears falling from his own eyes, both for the past and for the brother that stood in front of him now, pulled Regulus in his arms. “No, Reg. They weren’t.”

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my-castles-crumbling · 10 days

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"Whether I'm gonna curse you out or take you back to my house, I haven't decided yet but I'm gonna get you back."

~ Taylor Swift (imgonnagetyouback) Pairing: drarry - Rating: T

"You- are- infuriating," Harry gritted out, pushing Draco against the wall of the club with force, making the other man exhale loudly.

It wasn't the first time they'd ended up here. Both of them at Wands and Wizards, drinking from glasses of neat whiskey, trying to ignore the fact that the other was there. In a gay bar.

It also wasn't the first time that, after Harry had successfully plucked up the courage to chat up a good-looking guy, Malfoy had swaggered forward and begun mocking him. Telling stories of his blunders at school and all-but-sitting on the other man's lap, successfully drawing attention from Harry.

He seemed to think it was funny. But Harry did not.

"Guess I haven't changed much since Hogwarts," Draco gasped as Harry pushed closer to him, eyes flashing challengingly.

But he had. He was actually kind (to an extent). He had completed years of community service after the war and then become a healer for Merlin's sake.

So, he had changed. Except, he hadn't. He was still the same insufferable, irritating, pointy, haughty, superior, fit, annoying boy from Harry's youth.

And finally, finally, Harry was going to do something about it.

"I'm going to fucking ruin you, Malfoy," Harry murmured, not even questioning the anger and lust and passion and desire coursing through his body, pressing his chest and hips against the other man.

And Draco's pupils darkened as he murmured, "Fucking finally," before their lips crashed together.

#drarry fanfic #drarry #hpdm #draco malfoy #draco lucius malfoy #harry x draco #draco x harry #drarry fanfiction #drarry fic #draco #harry potter fanfic #harry potter #fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fandom #ttpdmicrofic

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my-castles-crumbling · 6 days

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"So they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say, do you believe me now?"

~ Taylor Swift (Cassandra) Pairing: jegulily angst - Rating: T

TW: (MDC)

"What about Pettigrew?" Regulus asked, hesitantly voicing the thought he'd been keeping to himself for weeks.

Four pairs of eyes turned towards him.

"Reg, love, I-" Lily murmured softly, holding a nursing Harry in her arms.

"He would never," Sirius said, looking disgusted.

"Well, it has to be someone!" Regulus bust out, frustrated. They'd been at this for weeks, now. Trying to determine who was passing information to Voldemort. Who was close enough to them to know such crucial things, but sneaky enough to get away with it.

Of course, Regulus knew that a fair few people suspected him. The thought of it made him want to scream. The idea of betraying his husband and wife, not to mention his brother ad best friend, made him feel nauseous.

But Peter? He'd always been a bit sly. His Animagus was a rat, for Merlin's sake. And he'd been strangely absent lately...

"Have you seen him at meetings?" Remus asked thoughtfully, always the voice of reason.

"No," Regulus admitted. It was true. When he went to Death Eater meetings to spy, Peter was nowhere to be seen.

"I don't think he would do that," James murmured, eyes heavy with sadness. "I can't imagine..." a tear dropped to his cheek.

"He wouldn't," Sirius insisted, jaw set.

But as Regulus fell to the floor on October 31st, 1981, clutching the hands of Lily and James to his chest, screaming in agony at the sight of their lifeless bodies, he knew.

He was right.

And, allowing the anger to overflow within him, the loss and denial and feeling of utter despair and loneliness ripping through his very soul, he screamed as Sirius, who stumbled through the door with wide eyes.

"Do you believe me now?"

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my-castles-crumbling · 15 days

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"You said I needed a brave man then proceeded to play him until I believed it."

~ Taylor Swift (The Black Dog) Pairing: Wolfstar angst - Rating: T

Thanks, @beautyoftheships for your help!

“Sirius, we can’t…” Remus murmured, turning his head away, barely allowing the shorter boy’s lips to graze his cheek.

“Oh fuck off, Moons,” Sirius mumbled, his breath hot against Remus’s ear. “If you try to give me some shite about how you’re a wearwolf, I’ll throw a fit. After all the dancing we’ve done around each other since third year? For Merlin’s sake, you know I don’t give a shit.”

Remus pulled back and stared at him for a moment, searching for one iota of fear in his eyes.

“Swear, Remus. I’m never going to leave you.”

-

Collapsing on the ground, face in his hands, Remus screamed in earnest, remembering the feeling of Sirius’s lips on his. The memory now tainted by the image of a screaming Sirius being hauled to Azkaban.

And to think. He’d believed him.

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