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nctsworld · 4 years

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meet me at the borderline

☆ jaehyun x reader | dance au | enemies to lovers | smut | 4k

→ summary: although you and jaehyun are rival dance team captains, you two end up talking with your bodies in the dance studio one evening. → warnings: smut, fingering, oral sex (male receiving), table sex, mirror sex, some praise kink, swearing, some angst → rating: explicit → notes: part of a longer fic that i yearn to write one day, but until then… this is what y’all will receive

→ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!

It’s 8pm on a Friday night at the university’s main dance studio. Everyone on campus is either attending frat parties, at the clubs downtown, or at home, so you’re taken aback when you walk in and are greeted by the one and only Jung Jaehyun.

He immediately stops dancing and hurries over to his phone on the floor to turn off the music playing. The panting dancer holds your gaze through the wall-sized mirror and takes off his cap for a moment to wipe his sweat away before putting it back on.

“I was here first,” he states firmly with a squint of his eyes, anticipating for you to leave, but Jaehyun knows to expect less of you. With your backpack slung over your shoulder, you stride into the room, hearing the door click behind you, and cross your arms with a shrug.

“Did you book the studio for tonight?”

He tenses, “No, I didn’t, but—”

“If you don’t have another excuse for me to go, don’t be such a baby and I’ll make sure to stay out of your way.”

The dance captain eyes you sauntering towards the back corner of the room, setting your backpack down. As you sit on the floor and begin to change shoes, he appears in front of you.

“Look, I’m trying to practice the set for the competition. I hate to be a dick—”

“No, you don’t; you love being a dick.” With a bitter, wide smile, you look up at him, still putting on your sneakers.

Jaehyun glances up for a second, as if in deep thoughts, with pressed lips. He then raises an eyebrow and nods his head side to side.

“Perhaps, but anyway, I didn’t bring my headphones today and we shouldn’t even be seeing each other’s choreo before the show—”

“Well, good news,” you stand up and begin to tie up your hair. “Unlike you, I brought headphones, so you can practice in peace. Oh, and I hate the sight of you and your flat ass, so I won’t even look at you dancing. We good?”

You fold your arms once more. From one captain to another, you hold his stare, not wanting to back down from this mere fight. All you want is to get in some practice before the weekend with a proper mirror, is that too much to ask for?

It takes some time, but the opposition yields to you, tilting his head to the floor and grumbles under his breath. As he walks back to his side of the room, you’re surprised he backed down so easily without a snarky response. Maybe Friday nights were his off days too.

“At least I have an ass,” Jaehyun’s holler echoes against the walls.

Ah, you spoke too soon. Placing your headphones over your ears to drown out your surroundings, you start your usual warm-up. Shortly, both of you dive into your separate worlds of melodies and movement.

About half an hour later, you’re sitting cross-legged on the floor for a water break and set your headphones aside. You take a sip from your bottle and go against your word from before, indulging in a glance at the other dancer in the room.

Even though Jaehyun is an ass (and lacks one),—and you’d never tell the following to his face—he’s still a pretty sight to see, especially when his shirt occasionally rides up to flash his abs.

When he catches on that you’re taking a longer break than usual, he pauses his music.

“Were you practicing your set too or were you freestyling?”

Caught off-guard by his conversational piece, you squint at him coming closer to you. You could answer honestly, but opt to hold your ground against his seemingly innocent question.

“Why do you care?”

He scoffs, “Cause your footwork’s a mess, like always, and if you, as a captain, dance like that for your piece, I can’t imagine what your whole team looks like.”

Your nose twitches prior to the clenching of your jaw. You’re fully aware of your weak points when dancing, as most dancers are, but to have the audacity to bring it up unprovoked? You slam your water bottle against the floor, the echo reaching all ends of the room, then stand to match his stance.

“Well, you’re one to talk.” You stomp your way over, closing the empty space in between, and are now only a few steps away from him. “You’re tense with all your upper body movements. You’re like a hard stick from the hip up. It’s like you have no control over your core—”

“Whoa, hold on,” he holds a palm up and rushes to lift his shirt up. “Look at my abs and tell me I don’t have a good core.”

You’re definitely looking, a little longer than you should because you’re finally getting a close-up glimpse of his abs, and they’re the type that you could wash clothes off of. But it’s not like you haven’t seen abs in your life nor do you want to stroke his ego, so you maintain your demeanor and roll your eyes.

“I didn’t say that. I said you have no control over your core.”

Jaehyun lets out a huff. You can’t detect it, but it’s laced with a tinge of disappointment over how unfazed you are. He frees his shirt and jogs over to his phone. A few scrolls later, he finally blasts music that you’re fairly certain isn’t part of his dance team’s set for the competition (you may have also gone against your other word and listened to what he was practicing to, but only for a little bit).

“Fine, I’ll show you.”

At this point, you’re amused because never in a million years you’d expect Jaehyun freestyling in a room alone with you. He starts off by feeling the sharp beats and flowing rhythm of the music and when he has a handle on it, he makes a deliberate effort to add body rolls, chest pops, and more in his freestyling to lay out his case.

While taking mental notes, out of habit, you’re grooving along with him too with modest rolls, head nodding, and taps of your feet. He can tell you’re holding back, but Jaehyun smiles, basking in how you seem to be enjoying this from the smile reflected on your face as well.

When he stops, he cocks an eyebrow at you, awaiting for your new verdict.

“Maybe you’re not as bad as you were before.”

He grins, hard enough that his dimples show, and you dig a hole to hide away the underlying flutters of your heart.

Still an asshole, but a cute asshole.

“Now, show me what you got, Captain,” Jaehyun crosses his arms with a nod.

You’re shaking your head, not wanting to be judged by Jaehyun any further.

“Unless... you’re scared that I’m right about how shitty your footwork is?”

If there’s anything stronger than the fear of judgement, it’s the power of spite.

The song’s already onto the next, but the melody flows easily through you. Similar to Jaehyun, you place emphasis on your footwork, being conscious of switching your weight between the balls and heels of your feet and slowing your moves in order to be more sharp, more clean, but all the while purposefully hitting the beats and giving meaning to the moves.

Your body’s out of control, owning all the floor space around you. When your body leads you to end up in front of Jaehyun, you snag the hat off his head and put it on. While you stick your tongue out in response, he’s laughing, thinking how you look better with it on than him, and he realizes how he’s never seen you in this element.

“My footwork still shitty?” you ask, still dancing.

“There’s room for improvement,” Jaehyun breaks his fixed stance, now beginning to dance along with you. “But you’re not that bad either.”

Soon enough, you two are entangled in an unspoken dance battle, trying to one up the other with harder, stronger, better movements than the opponent. The moment Jaehyun drops his breakdancing skills, you bite back with your own strengths—fierce, sensual motions and dare to invade his personal space, in hopes he becomes flustered.

And he does, because he freezes at the sight of your bent ass, which is practically against his hips, and how your fingertips ghost the floor, then you shoot straight up and roll into his body. You lean your head back onto his shoulder, glancing up at him with shallow breaths, restless from the ongoing battle.

“Care to beat that?” you whisper, suddenly aware of your hands tugging the fabric of his track pants over his thighs. Your chest heaves, and Jaehyun’s drawn to the view in his proximity.

Despite his crude ogles, he’s super conscious of ensuring that his hands are not touching you, fearing he’s reading the situation wrong, that perhaps this was only due to the adrenaline and anger you’ve both pented up over time. It’s not as if you’d ever want him, even if he was the last man on Earth.

Although you can’t read his mind, Jaehyun’s absolutely right.

So why do you inch closer to his face?

Time slows as he begins to meet you halfway. Both of you are breathing in sync, hearts beating almost as one. You turn to grasp the crook of his neck, while he steadies you by your waist.

However, when your lips crash into his, time speeds up and it feels like it’s slipping away. All your movements are rushed as if it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. The kissing—open-mouthed, hungry, and needy—doesn’t falter anytime soon.

When you drop your touch from his neck, he runs his hands through your hair before caressing your cheek, deepening the kiss with more pressure. You’re sighing, humming into each kiss, and as Jaehyun pulls away to kiss your neck, you’re melting, knees feeling weak amidst your soft moans and eye rolls.

Not wanting to actually melt in front of him, you tug at his shirt in between kisses, prompting him to follow you towards a small table on one side of the room. Once you’re there, you sit atop the table and continue kissing Jaehyun, who’s standing in between your spread legs. The handsome figure reverts back to kissing your neck, but this time feels adventurous, letting his hand snake under your t-shirt and grasp the side of your stomach. He embraces the smoothness of your bare skin, adores how you feel with every contact.

There’s not much thinking happening, just lust coursing through each of your bodies. The lust distorts you so much, you don’t hesitate to take off your shirt and toss it to the floor. Jaehyun takes in your beauty for a brief second, before he follows suit and takes his shirt off too. His mouth captures yours again, while his hand kneads your ass and tugs you closer to his hips.

Throughout his kisses that span all over your body, your hands roam and grip the entirety of his toned upper body. Almost instantly, you feel what you can only assume is his growing hard-on pressed against your core, causing you to moan.

“Can I finger you?” Jaehyun asks the filthy question with a certain air of courtesy, leaning his perspired forehead against yours. You nod fervently and squeak a simple, “Yes.”

As you stand to get rid of your shoes and to wiggle your panties and leggings off, you notice Jaehyun laying the t-shirt he was wearing on the spot where you sat. He answers the confusion plastered on your face.

“These tables are used for everything in this building; you never know what could be on them.”

Today truly marks a day where you’ve never seen this many sides of Jaehyun before, but you don’t let yourself dissect the moment for too long. Since you still have your sports bra on, you opt to strip it off too, and jump back onto the table.

Because you’re completely naked in front of him, Jaehyun takes more of his sweet time to bask in the sight in front of him, unsure if he’ll ever see you like this again.

“Are you gonna keep staring,” you cusp his chin, forcing him to look into your eyes. “Or are you going to finger me?”

“I’ll do what I want when I want to,” he seethes along with your name. Without warning, his fingers hover under your exposed warmth, making you gasp.

Jaehyun chuckles deeply, “You’re dripping wet for me and I haven’t even put my fingers in yet.”

His fingers continue to painfully tease you, rubbing long, horizontal lines back and forth across your folds.

You bite your lip, fuming, “Jaehyun, stop teasing and put them in already,”

“Tell me I’m a good dancer.”

You sigh a half-chuckle and roll your eyes prior to muttering, “Fuck you.”

The tease dips his fingers just slightly into your sex, then pulls out right away. And again, and again. You’re getting more frustrated by the second, pouting with piercing eyes. Jaehyun always liked it when he had an upper hand on you during arguments, but he likes it even more like this.

“Tell me I’m a good dancer, and I’ll put them in.”

“Fine,” you scowl. “You’re a good dancer, but you know that alre—fuck.”

He plunges two digits deep into you, and your walls clench in gratification.

“You’re right. I know I am, I just wanted to hear you say it.”

You want to kiss the smirk off his face, but instead, you’re leaning your head back and gripping the edge of the table, reveling in the sensation of his fingers filling you. The music from his phone may be still playing, but all Jaehyun can focus on are your heaven sent moans and the way your body writhes, all due to him.

With his free hand, he trails his nails lightly down the spine of your back, making your sex pulse around his fingers even more. He palms the middle of your back as he begins to plant kisses on your clavicle, down your chest, then on one of your nipples. The label of a tease sticks with him. He dabs his tongue lightly here and there, barely traces a circle around your tip.

When he decides you’ve had enough, he puckers his lips tight and his cheeks become sunken. And when he’s not sucking, his tongue flicks as hard as the suctions, like strobing lights. You react in a frenzy, hands reaching towards his hair, to stuff and tug them between your fingers.

“Oh, God, Jaehyun...”

When Jaehyun takes your other breast into his mouth, your moans tether further as he also increases his fingering pace, causing you to grip onto his hair harder. You fear that it might be too rough, but then again, he deserves a little pain for all the fights you’ve had.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he growls, still with your nub surrounded by his teeth. He maintains his rhythm, enthralled with the obscene sounds of your pussy taking his fingers.

Feeling a little conscious, reasoning that his hand must be drenched with your juices, you stutter, “S-sorry.”

“No,” he pulls away from your mound, shakes his head, and pulls his hand from your back to caress your neck tenderly. “It’s fucking hot.”

Jaehyun kisses you with intensity, the speed of his wrist never relenting. You can’t even properly kiss him back because the pleasure is overwhelming, so much that if moans were a shade of paint, yours would be splattered all over the studio’s walls. You reach your peak with cries of his name, your honey glistening over his fingers.

After he pulls them out and you’re coming down from your high, he runs over to his backpack and rummages through it. Your eyes flicker, noticing the little silver package in hand. Jaehyun wastes no time in coming back to your side. He places the condom next to you on the table and strips off his clothes in record time.

Before he has a chance to open the condom, you jump off the table to grasp onto his wrist, gesturing for him to lean his backside against the table. He’s in awe as you drop to your knees in front of him.

You stroke his hardened length, admiring his size, but waste no time in tasting him to avoid Jaehyun’s potential banter about how big he is. However, he’s not even in the right mindset to do so; he’s in a trance, stuck on everything you’re doing.

Subconsciously or not, everything’s a competition with you two, so you showcase what you’re capable of doing with your tongue. Like him, you begin to be a painful tease, only giving small kitten licks on his cock. Then the next laps of your tongue are broad, but gradual.

Wanting to see everything you’re doing, he holds your messy hair in a makeshift ponytail since the hair tie you had on must have flown off during the former scenes. Jaehyun grunts sharply as you ease him into your mouth, the warmth welcoming and encircling him wholly. After you bob and swirl your tongue concurrently, giving him a sneak peek of what you’re able to do, you stroke him lackadaisically and meet his eyes.

“Now, you tell me I’m a good dancer,” you command.

A brief chuckle escapes from above, “I don’t think you’re in the same position to ask me of that.”

You challenge his words by taking his possession within your mouth once more. Holding him by the base to cover the area your mouth can’t, you jerk your head fast. With each bob and each swipe, more and more of your saliva covers Jaehyun’s desire. The slurps are so loud, so lewd. His face trembles and his grip tightens on your hair, the pleasure rising within him sooner than expected.

“Okay, okay. You’re a great dancer—fuck, fuck. Slow down. I don’t want to come just yet.”

You pull away, an extended line of your spit mixed with his precome draws out from your lips. Perking an eyebrow with a smolder, you light up your wrist rapidly. “Do you mean it?”

He’s breaking apart from your actions, baring his teeth and grimacing. “Yes, yes. I fucking mean it.”

With a smirk, you immediately drop him from your hand. He drags you upward into a mad kiss, in retaliation for the edging. Breaking apart from one another, you hurry to your original spot on the table. Jaehyun eases the rubber onto his cock and tugs you by your hips, having your ass laid on the very end of the table.

He raises your legs up, to be partially extended in the air and engulfed around his body. You have one elbow perched on the table and one hand on Jaehyun’s shoulder. Jaehyun stabilizes you by having a grip on the fold behind your knee and hustles to line his possession up with your sex. The moment it is, his hand meets your waist and he inserts himself fully into you.

Your back arches from his girth hitting you. Both of your moans expel, mingling with each other. He thrusts experimentally, testing the waters to see how you like it. Determined, deep thrusts. Shallow, swift thrusts. A mix of both.

It didn’t matter, because you cry in ecstasy either way.

Being aware of the music still playing from his phone, he wonders if he can plunge into you to match the beat. The current song was electronic and bass-heavy, making it difficult for him to truly match it, but your broken whimpers and name-calling don’t object to the fast thrill.

God, he can feel the way your pussy contracts against his inches.

“You know,” he pants heavily. “If I didn’t have good core control, I wouldn’t be able to do this.”

It takes a bit of effort to come up with a response. All you muster up is, “N-not necessarily,” before you lapse into your elation.

As you emit your endless moans, you spot your reflection in the wall-sized mirror. The sides of your bodies are parallel to it, and your eyes can’t tear away from the spectacle of you getting fucked by Jaehyun from another angle. It’s unbelievable how fit he is, but you see every flexed muscle and tendon in the mirror—from his neck to his ankles.

“Do you like watching me fuck you?”

His gaze confronts yours in the mirror, and you whimper with barely a bounce of your head.

Jaehyun’s thinking about how beautiful you are, but he holds his tongue back. Rather, he grasps the nape of your neck, pulling you in for another kiss, except the kisses are hardly materialized because your lips are constantly parted. Your hot breath fans against his face and he’s attentive to how close you are to him. Not just physically, but beyond that too. He can’t explain it, but it’s as if you’re under his skin.

He knows this will inevitably end, it has to, but he also knows he’ll want you again.

Jaehyun’s officially hooked—to your taste, to your scent, to your air, to your everything.

And he’s not the only one who feels that way too.

You inform Jaehyun that you’re nearing again, and he readies himself for his own little death too. Once you disintegrate, he kisses you for the last time, followed by spurts of his seed, releasing himself into the condom.

The two of you are heaving, sticky messes. Regardless, both of you hold onto each other for a little bit longer. Eventually, you must withdraw and you do.

The tension in the room seems to shift as you both begin to catch your breath, like everything that just happened was a dream. You don’t regret it, neither of you do, but reality blankets over. You’re the first to reach for your clothes and begin to put them back on. Jaehyun peels off the condom and follows your footsteps.

“This stays between us,” you express from afar, averting his eyes.

“And it’s only a one-time thing,” Jaehyun adds, but is immediately unsure if he should’ve said that.

“Exactly, it’s like you read my mind.”

Your chest clenches for a beat as the words come out of your mouth. You shake your head, trying not to think about it.

“Are you going to stay in the studio a bit longer?”

Reading his question as a simple inquiry, you don’t pick up the hopefulness in his tone nor do you see the look in his eyes.

“No, no. You can finally get the studio to yourself. I’ve had enough practice for the night.”

Already dressed, you hurry to grab all your gear and stuff it into your backpack, prepared to leave. You’re practically out the door in an instant as you mumble your good-bye.

“I’ll see you around, Jaehyun.”

While you’re walking home, Jaehyun’s still sitting on the floor of the dance studio with his hat in his hand, remembering the way you looked with it on.

At the same moment, you’re both trying your best to stop thinking about the other.

Keeping this a secret between the two of you, you could do. If your team knew what went down, the best case scenario would be that you lose captaincy. The worst case was that you wouldn’t be a part of your team anymore. However, in either case, your best friends, who were also on the team, would likely question your loyalty and dedication, wondering why you’d ever do such a thing in the first place. The same applied to Jaehyun.

Seeing Jaehyun again was inevitable. Your teams often collided during practice hours and sometimes fought for the studio. Although it’d be awkward, it’d be manageable. At least, you hope it would be.

But the only thing neither of you could truly promise, nor did you two desire, was keeping this as a one-time thing, especially now, when you’ve had a taste of each other and yearned for more.

One more month until the competition.

What more could possibly happen between you and Jaehyun until then?

#jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jung jaehyun x reader #nctcreations #nct #jaehyun smut #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 smut #nct 127 imagines #mywritings #myfanfics #jaehyun x reader

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free--therapy · 3 years

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Healthy Coping Skills for Uncomfortable Emotions

Emotion-Focused and Problem-Focused Strategies

By Amy Morin, LCSW

Whether you’ve been dumped by your date or you’ve had a rough day at the office, having healthy coping skills can be key to getting through tough times. Coping skills help you tolerate, minimize, and deal with stressful situations in life. Managing your stress well can help you feel better physically and psychologically and it can impact your ability to perform your best.

But not all coping skills are created equal. Sometimes, it’s tempting to engage in strategies that will give quick relief but might create bigger problems for you down the road. It’s important to establish healthy coping skills that will help you reduce your emotional distress or rid yourself of the stressful situations you face.

Problem-Based vs. Emotion-Based

When you’re feeling distressed, ask yourself, “Do I need to change my situation or do I need to find a way to better cope with the situation?” Then, you can decide which type of coping strategy will help you best proceed.

There are two main types of coping skills: problem-based coping and emotion-based coping.

Problem-based coping is helpful when you need to change your situation, perhaps by removing a stressful thing from your life. For example, if you’re in an unhealthy relationship, your anxiety and sadness might be best resolved by ending the relationship (as opposed to soothing your emotions).

Emotion-based coping is helpful when you need to take care of your feelings when you either don’t want to change your situation or when circumstances are out of your control. For example, if you are grieving the loss of a loved one, it’d be important to take care of your feelings in a healthy way (since you can’t change the circumstance).

There isn’t always one best way to proceed. Instead, it’s up to you to decide which type of coping skill is likely to work best for you in your particular circumstance.

Healthy Emotion-Focused Coping Skills

Whether you’re feeling lonely, nervous, sad, or angry, emotion-focused coping skills can help you deal with your feelings in a healthy way. Healthy coping strategies may soothe you, temporarily distract you, or help you tolerate your distress.

Sometimes it’s helpful to face your emotions head-on. For example, feeling sad after the death of a loved one can help you honor your loss.

So while it would be important to use coping skills to help relieve some of your distress, coping strategies shouldn’t be about constantly distracting you from reality.

Other times, coping skills may help you change your mood. If you’ve had a bad day at work, playing with your kids or watching a funny movie might cheer you up. Or, if you’re angry about something someone said, a healthy coping strategy might help you calm down before you say something you might regret. Here are some examples of healthy emotion-focused coping skills:

Clean the house (or a closet, drawer, or area)

Color

Cook a meal

Do yoga

Draw

Drink tea

Garden

Give yourself a pep talk

Go for a walk

Engage in a hobby

Exercise

Listen to music

List the things you feel grateful for

Look at landscape photos that help you feel relaxed

Look at pictures to remind you of the people, places, and things that bring joy

Meditate

Picture your “happy place”

Play a game with your kids

Play with a pet

Practice breathing exercises

Pray

Put on lotion that smells good

Read a book

Reframe the way you are thinking about the problem

Squeeze a stress ball

Smile

Spend time in nature

Take a bath

Take care of your body in a way that makes you feel good (paint your nails, do your hair, put on a face mask)

Think of something funny

Use a relaxation app

Use aromatherapy

Use progressive muscle relaxation

Write in a journal

Healthy Problem-Focused Coping Skills

There are many ways you might decide to tackle a problem head-on and eliminate the source of your stress. In some cases, that may mean changing your behavior or creating a plan that helps you know what action you’re going to take.

In other situations, problem-focused coping may involve more drastic measures, like changing jobs or cutting someone out of your life. Here are some examples of healthy problem-focused coping skills:

Ask for support from a friend or a professional.

Create a to-do list.

Engage in problem-solving.

Establish healthy boundaries (tell your friend you aren’t going to spend time with her if she makes fun of you).

Walk away (leave a situation that is causing you stress).

Work on managing your time better (for example, turn off the alerts on your phone).

Unhealthy Coping Skills to Avoid

Just because a strategy helps you endure emotional pain, it doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Some coping skills could create bigger problems in your life. Here are some examples of unhealthy coping skills:

Drinking alcohol or using drugs: Substances may temporarily numb your pain, but they won’t resolve your issues. Substances are likely to introduce new problems into your life. Alcohol, for example, is a depressant that can make you feel worse. Using substances also puts you at risk for developing a substance abuse problem and it may create legal issues, financial problems, and a variety of social issues.

Overeating: Food is a common coping strategy. But, trying to “stuff your feelings” with food can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food—and weight issues. Sometimes people go to the other extreme and restrict their eating (because it makes them feel more in control) and clearly, that can be just as unhealthy.

Sleeping too much: Whether you take a nap when you’re stressed out or you sleep late to avoid facing the day, sleeping offers a temporary escape from your problems. However, when you wake up, the problem will still be there.

Venting to others: Talking about your problems so that you can gain support, develop a solution, or see a problem in a different way can be healthy. But studies show1 repeatedly venting to people about how bad your situation is or how terrible you feel is more likely to keep you stuck in a place of pain.

Overspending: While many people say they enjoy retail therapy as a way to feel better, shopping can become unhealthy. Owning too many possessions can add stress to your life. Also, spending more than you can afford will only backfire in the end and cause more stress.

Avoiding things: Even “healthy” coping strategies can become unhealthy if you’re using them to avoid the problem. For example, if you are stressed about your financial situation, you might be tempted to spend time with friends or watch TV because that’s less anxiety-provoking than creating a budget. But if you never resolve your financial issues, your coping strategies are only masking the problem.

Proactive Coping

Coping skills are usually discussed as a reactive strategy—when you feel bad, you do something to cope. But, research shows2 that proactive coping strategies can be an effective way to manage the future obstacles you’re likely to face.

For example, if you have worked hard to lose weight, proactive coping strategies could help you maintain your weight after your weight loss program has ended. You might plan ahead for circumstances that might derail you—like the holiday season or dinner invitations from friends—to help you cope.

You also might plan ahead for how you’re going to cope with emotions that previously caused you to snack—like boredom or loneliness. And you might prepare a mantra that you’ll repeat to yourself when you’re tempted to give in to temptation.

Proactive coping has been found to be an effective way to help people deal with predictable changes, like a decline in income during retirement.

However, coping can also be used to help people deal with unexpected life changes, such as a major change in health. A 2014 study3 found that individuals who engaged with proactive coping were better able to deal with the changes they encountered after having a stroke.

Another study4 found that people who engaged in proactive coping were better equipped to manage their type 2 diabetes. Participants who planned ahead and set realistic goals enjoyed better psychological well-being.

So, if you are facing a stressful life event or you’ve undergone a major change, try planning ahead. Consider the skills you can use to cope with the challenges you’re likely to face.

When you have a toolbox ready to go, you’ll know what to do. And that could help you to feel better equipped to face the challenges ahead.

Find What Works for You

The coping strategies that work for someone else might not work for you. Going for a walk might help your partner calm down. But you might find going for a walk when you’re angry causes you think more about why you’re mad—and it fuels your angry feelings. So you might decide watching a funny video for a few minutes helps you relax.

It's important to develop your own toolkit of coping skills that you’ll find useful. You may need to experiment with a variety of coping strategies to help you discover which ones work best for you.

You might find that certain coping strategies work best for specific issues or emotions. For example, engaging in a hobby may be an effective way to unwind after a long day at work. But, going for a walk in nature might be the best approach when you’re feeling sad.

When it comes to coping skills, there’s always room for improvement. So, assess what other tools and resources you can use and consider how you might continue to sharpen your skills in the future.

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moonbeamsung · 4 years

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Serendipitous Synergy

“I can’t believe I got stuck with you, of all people, as a dance partner.”

“What? Scared I’ll steal the spotlight?”

“In your dreams, Lee.”

member: haechan

au: dance partner and rival!haechan x gn!reader

word count: 4.9k

genre: angst, suggestive, fluff

warnings: talk of insecurities and thoughts of self-doubt, a house party, stubborn reader, smug haechan, mentions of ‘sexual tension’ in the context of a dance, kissing, slight innuendos

author’s note: As a dancer myself, this idea came to me after we learned the choreography for Thriller in class one day! And yes I know Halloween was weeks ago but shhh. It’s my first time writing an enemies to lovers au, so I would greatly appreciate any feedback about things I can improve on in the future. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy!

network tags: @neo-constellations

“...You’ll be partnered with Haechan.”

The words of your instructor seem to swallow up the dance studio you’re standing in, echoing off of the walls with a piercing sound that makes your ears ache, your gut twist, and your blood boil.

This could not be happening.

Said boy seems just as averse to the idea as you are, the corners of his mouth downturned in displeasure.

Your teacher, however, continues to rattle off the rest of the pairs, some of them a little surprising but none nearly as unexpected as the two of you being put together.

Eyes narrowed and gazes sharp as daggers, both you and Haechan turn to stare each other down.

The standoff makes everyone else in the studio uneasy, and though the other dancers aren’t unaccustomed to your endless rivalry, they fear the potential hostility of your reactions. But to their astonishment, it never escalates beyond these stinging glares directed at one another. You’re surprisingly professional about it on the outside, not letting a single swear word slip out from between your lips, while he bites back a snarky insult.

On the inside, though, you’re a mess.

Haechan has been somewhat of an enemy of yours for as long as you can remember, though by no fault of his own. No matter what you did or how hard you tried, ever since you were both young students struggling to find your footing in the artistic world, he’s always been better than you. At everything.

If you managed to nail a double pirouette, he’d step right up and do a third like it was nothing. You finally got your split? He’s already had it for a month, at least. It just wasn’t fair. You both had started dancing at the same age, at the same time, with the same amount of experience: zero.

In all honesty, Haechan had done nothing wrong. The combination of poor timing and better luck had worked against him all those years ago to brew these bitter feelings inside of your heart, rising to the surface whenever you would set foot inside the familiar studio.

These constant sentiments of inferiority took their toll on you, making you fear being compared to him above anything else. It was childish, but you couldn’t stand to be reminded of feeling completely and utterly incompetent next to him. Whenever you performed, you were grateful for the large amount of other dancers occupying the stage, leaving little opportunity for the two of you to be noticed in conjunction with one another.

Now that it’s going to be just the two of you under the bright beams of light cascading down from the rafters, dancing in close proximity, this worry is at the forefront of your mind.

You would do anything to be able to go back to your first year at the studio, when you were young enough to recognize that his skills seemed to outweigh yours, but as a carefree child you remained largely unbothered by this fact. As you got older, it was like a switch inside of you flipped and made you extra aware of each and every thing that you did. Perhaps it was the heightened self-consciousness that puberty brought combined with the already stressful lifestyle of a dancer, but something changed one day, and it was all you could think about when you saw him.

Your internal doubts always translated into being eerily quiet during practice, asking a question to clarify the movements only when it was absolutely necessary. Even your teacher noticed a shift in how you danced. Your gestures and steps lacked their usual precision, and all the confidence you had built up for so long vanished into thin air.

Not sure how to interpret your sudden silence, Haechan took it upon himself to get a word out of you in whatever way that he could, with comments and jokes and even the occasional compliment on your technique. It hardly helped, though. In fact, your constant failure to respond to his attempts created a sort of resentment in him as well, one not generated by envy or insecurity, but simply by confusion and frustration.

During practice one afternoon, you had become so fed up with him trying to talk to you that you lashed out, pushing him away with surprising strength. “Just leave me alone!” You had shouted at Haechan, but you instantly regretted it when you saw the way his eyes welled up with shiny tears, full of hurt after his genuinely good intentions had been totally rejected by their unwilling recipient. Your guilt, however, failed to overpower your stubbornness.

This sent Haechan into his own spiral of the silent treatment before he started to channel his feelings into a similar bitterness. From that day forth, you each became the other’s arch-enemy, challenging one another in any way that you possibly could inside the studio and on the stage. Your instructor, choreographers, and fellow students quickly became tired of the implicit competition that always existed between you, but what on earth could they do to stop it?

At the present moment, they’re contemplating this exact idea, along with just why your teacher thought pairing you with each other would be a good idea. She had done it with the intention of putting a long overdue partnership into action and hopefully eliminating your immature rivalry. Selfishly, she’s also very eager to see how your mutual contempt translates into movement, inwardly predicting that the tension levels will be off the charts.

Not long after, you’re dismissed from practice for the day, but not without a warning look from Haechan. Against your better judgment, you join him by the doorway once everyone else has filed out of the studio.

He clearly called you over for a reason, but you cut him off without even waiting for him to speak.

“I can’t believe I got stuck with you, of all people, as a dance partner.”

Oh, so this is how you’re acting? Two can play at that game.

“What?” He snickers, “Scared I’ll steal the spotlight?”

“In your dreams, Lee,” you scoff, already tired of his taunting attitude.

“Anyway,” his voice is stern before doing a complete 180, now a bit more gentle, “If we’re going to be dancing together for the next few weeks, we might as well be on speaking terms, don’t you think?” The expression Haechan wears on his face is the softest you’ve seen it in a long time, which is definitely saying something.

“I suppose.” Answer short and tone abrasive, you huff a lousy excuse for a goodbye before marching out and into the hallway, but he’s faster than you. You spin around to shrug off his hand from your shoulder, and it gives him the chance to tell you one last thing.

“Look, if you’re going to be like that, it’s not going to make working together any easier. We’re not little kids anymore. You can go back to hating me once this is all over, but can we at least try to put our differences aside and just cooperate for once?”

You nearly split your lip as you bite down on it, holding back a burst of aggravation at the situation you’ve been put in. “Fine.”

You have no idea how you’re going to get through all the practices and all the shows while simultaneously dealing with the boy, but one thing’s for sure: you’re going to prove that you are just as skilled, and just as talented a dancer as he is.

The next time you see him is two days later, at your first rehearsal for this dance. Your studio has always had a Halloween-themed showcase, but it wasn’t until this year that you were old enough to finally be cast in a more exclusive number. The fact that you’re no longer a part of the large group routine, always performed to the same upbeat tune and with the same easy steps, is one of the few silver linings that your duet with Haechan presents.

Faces lined with fatigue and eyes still heavy with sleep, you both arrive at the studio in the morning, duffel bags in hand, the comfy slides on your feet dragging across the hallway carpet with every step. Loud music blares from inside the room, brightly lit despite the early hour. Beside you, Haechan instantly recognizes the tune to be Michael Jackson’s Thriller, and perks up a little at the sound. Too tired to poke fun at his near obsession with the singer, you let his little celebration of the choreographer’s song choice slide.

It’s not your usual instructor that’s going to be teaching you the movements to go along with the piece, which means you have the added challenge of adapting to a different set of preferences, expectations, and choreographing style.

It’s certainly a dance that’s unlike any you’ve ever learned before.

The rehearsal starts off well, and both of you quickly catch on to the basic steps that are somewhat like those of a waltz, except they have a more sinister feel to them in order to match the spooky time of year. Facing each other but standing on opposite sides of the room, you step forward, to the side, to the back and then to the side again. On each accented beat you throw your heads back sharply, mimicking the way the neck of an inhuman creature might snap under any sort of force.

In the next section of choreography, your gazes are supposed to meet once you tilt your heads downward, slowly this time, but it’s difficult to maintain eye contact with Haechan for more than a few seconds. Maybe it’s the way he doesn’t even hesitate to stalk towards you in this part of the dance, which calls for you to circle each other like a hungry predator and its timid prey. Maybe it’s the animalistic glint in his irises that throws off your balance and makes you stumble when you see it. Or maybe it’s the fact that your rivalry with him has been entirely disregarded at the moment, brain focused solely on absorbing all of the new information and ingraining the movements into your muscle memory, nothing else.

What frightens you even more than the things that go bump in the night is that all those years you spent... well, not hating, but strongly disliking him could go to waste. It usually takes a lot of time for you to get over things like this, and in a way, you feel like you would be disappointing yourself if you let all of the agonizing feelings of self-doubt go, just like that.

These thoughts swirl around in your mind as you listen to the choreographer’s next words.

“Okay, put your hand here.”

“Like this?”

“Yes, now you’re going to drag it across him, from there to there,” she directs you with a finger, “And then he’s going to pick you up in a scissor lift.”

You’ve never done one of those before, but with some helpful guidance, you begin to have a small bit of faith in yourself that you’re capable of pulling it off. The music starts and you go from the top all the way to the part you were just taught, taking a deep breath in preparation for what’s about to happen.

Just like you had been instructed moments ago, you step very close to Haechan, right behind him, actually, and place one hand on his shoulder as you trail the other across the front of his chest, fingernails scratching the skin underneath through the flimsy t-shirt he’s wearing. You step around to stand in front of him and continue the motion, peering at him with a hesitance that melts away and into an assertive gaze once you see the apprehension in his own eyes. His skin crawls a little, not out of fear but an odd satisfaction and excitement at the feeling of you so near and the sight of your eyes bright with so much determination and dominance, lingering touch tracing the base of his neck and stimulating his nerves from head to toe.

You yelp slightly at what he does next even though you knew it was coming, your self-assured exterior evaporating only moments after it appeared. Haechan turns around and sweeps you off of your feet to hold you in his arms. In the blink of an eye, he helps you hook one of your knees behind his head as he tosses you into the air with seemingly no effort whatsoever, flipping you around to face the other way and catching you immediately after. The complicated lift makes your heart leap to the front of your throat with exhilaration, and you mentally applaud yourself for succeeding on the first try.

Haechan finds it odd that you were so willing to do this lift in the first place, since trust is a key component of partner work in dance. He can’t explain it, and neither can you, quite honestly. A small part of him, however, is glad you didn’t object to the prospect of him being directly responsible for your safety for even the most instantaneous of moments.

“Alright, so for this next part, I’m sure you’re aware of that fact that Michael Jackson was famous for his pelvic—”

Okay, that’s enough, you’ve heard enough. Tuning out the conversation and whirling around to face away from the floor-to-ceiling mirror, you twiddle your thumbs while the choreographer teaches Haechan one of the iconic dance steps in Thriller, and your evident shyness at her unabashed explanation makes him smirk. Thankfully, she has a different set of movements prepared for you.

Since when are you ever shy around him, though?

You still can’t bring yourself to watch your reflections in the glass when you practice the new part together, since he gets so into the provocative motions. His eyes seem to taunt you with the smugness they hold, and you hate the way he’s testing you. You can’t stand it, you can’t stand him, you can’t stand those eyes for all the times they send a shiver down your spine, for all the times they come alive with a beast-like glow. Those eyes can go from soft and sympathetic at times, although the moments are rare, to something else entirely. His mocking stares make your stomach turn, reminding you of why you’ve felt this way about him for so long.

But you’re scared that a new and different feeling is developing inside of you, one that’s telling you he’s not so bad, that you should give him a chance. Haechan has noticed a similar one within himself, and he begins to regret the way he immaturely perpetuated your own resentment for so long.

Even if you do end up making amends eventually, he’s not sure he’ll be willing to abandon all of the playful glances and teasing remarks with flirtatious undertones he sends your way. Do you even notice these things? If your periodic blushing is any indication, then the answer is most definitely yes.

You spend another couple of hours under the choreographer’s direction, stopping only when you had been taught each and every step from the piece’s beginning until the end. Though a Halloween-inspired performance, there’s a surprisingly large amount of eerily romantic undertones within it. You don’t have enough fingers to count the number of times you ultimately caress some part of the other’s body in a forbidding manner, with locked eyes and threatening, fiery glares.

The two of you also have a second but more simple lift, in which you jump and Haechan catches you by the legs to pull your torso against his, while you cling to him tightly like a koala. He supports your weight fully, and never once does the possibility of falling cross your mind. It’s strange how your body is so trusting of him, much more so than your mind.

Towards the end of the song, the lyrics mention something about cuddling close together, the timing of your movements intentionally mirroring the words. Haechan walks in a circle, still carrying you in his arms, and unlike when you’re standing on your own two feet, he actually has to look up slightly to meet your gaze with his own. Something doesn’t feel quite right, though, both of you sensing that you should be putting more effort into the eye contact between you right now.

“No, no, no! Stop for a second.” Your choreographer looks frustrated.

“You have to look at each other like you really mean it,” she corrects. “Just imagine that you’re two lovers on Halloween night, clinging to each other for dear life as you’re being surrounded by every kind of monster imaginable.” Even Haechan flushes a deep red at the descriptive picture she paints in your minds, hoping to inspire you. “Try again, please.”

Putting every necessary emotion into your expressions, you both stare each other down as he lifts you up again, this time with a never-before-seen passion burning in your eyes that could only be described as crazed, lustful desire.

Haechan has always admired your skills, although internally these days, ever since he met you, especially your ability to easily adapt to the message or tone of a piece. Happiness, sadness, anger, whatever your instructor asked of you, you could embody the exact feeling on your face, not to mention in the way that you moved to the beat. Out of all of the scenarios your choreographer could have illustrated, this one is something he never would have expected you to be so ready for. He’s taken aback by how smoothly your facial expression transitions from sheepish to seductive in no time flat.

You wish you could say that you’re not flustered by how well he matches the look in your eyes with his own tantalizing gaze, but alas, that’s not the case.

It’s undoubtedly a dance with a more mature theme than either of you are used to, but you’re both such naturals at it that she compliments you once Haechan sets you back on the ground.

“That’s exactly what I want to see! Keep it up, you two. Are you sure you’ve never been in a piece with any sexual tension before?”

You’re glad you hadn’t quite taken a sip from your water bottle yet, because you definitely would’ve spit it out from pure shock and embarrassment at the bluntness of her remark. Haechan was not so lucky.

The two of you run through the dance almost endlessly, and by the end of your rehearsal your legs are threatening to give out at any moment. “Last time,” she alerts you, “And then you’re done for the day.”

A chorus of some minor corrections but mostly proud affirmations meets your ears as you practice the piece for the final time. “Other foot, Haechan... Strong arms! Good... And lift! That’s it...”

About to collapse from exhaustion and grimacing at the disgusting feeling of sweat on every inch of your skin, both of you thank the choreographer once she dismisses you.

“You two did a great job today, now go home and rest. You worked hard.”

Fishing your car keys out of your bag, you hear her packing up her things inside the studio before she exits the room and strides into the hallway, flipping the light switch and shutting the door behind her. “I’m going to recommend to your teacher that she should partner you up more often. I was really surprised by how well you collaborated.” She chuckles a little, “And to think she told me that you might not get along.”

Exchanging questioning looks, you both nod and smile at her before she makes her way down the hallway, leaving the building through the staff door.

“What was that all about?”

“No idea,” you reply to Haechan with nervousness in your voice, not sure if this is the right time to apologize for several years’ worth of constantly being at each other’s throats.

The moment passes before you can make a decision, and Haechan bids you farewell with a “See you around” over his shoulder. You can’t get the choreographer’s comment out of your mind as you drive home.

But she’s right: your chemistry with each other is unbelievable. Each time you practice this dance in front of them, the rest of your friends stand wide-eyed and open-mouthed at how you move in perfect unison, leaping and turning and touching at all the right moments. Your instructor is sure her jaw is on the floor. Sure, she was expecting something powerful, something fierce, but nothing like this.

The weeks leading up to the Halloween showcase are hectic, as they always are, filled with the rush of adrenaline and last-minute preparations being made, ensuring that everything would be ready for those long nights spent on waiting behind the curtains, moving amidst the stage fog, and dancing below the bright spotlights.

You think you’ve spoken to Haechan more in the past 4 days than you have in the past 4 years. He doesn’t know if it’s just his imagination, but it seems like you’ve gotten more comfortable performing with him as time has gone by. Maybe he should be paying more attention to the steps instead of the way you lean further into him as he clutches your form in his strong arms, torsos pressing into one another and the crevices of your bodies aligning with ease. Maybe he shouldn’t get distracted by the closeness of your lips to his forehead, by the distance that always seems to decrease each time you run through the dance. One day he’s sure he’ll feel their delicate curve against his skin, or maybe they’ll slip down a little to be more level with his. Either way, Haechan isn’t complaining.

The rehearsals that spill over from their scheduled time slots into the late hours of the night leave everyone in the show drowsy after the intense quantities of repeated exertion, running piece after piece over and over again until just standing up is a feat within itself.

And then, all of a sudden, it’s the day of the first show. Costumes have been tailored, makeup has been applied and hair has been done up with an ungodly amount of products and pins.

It can’t be much longer until it’s your turn to perform, so you’re not sure why you find yourself grabbing Haechan by the sleeve of his intentionally tattered shirt, meant to look like that of a zombie, and pulling him into a dark, secluded corner of the backstage area.

“We’re on in 5, what are y—”

“Can I apologize?”

He blinks a few times, processing the word he never thought he would hear leave your lips.

“For... huh?”

“Everything.” You’re thankful that the lighting is minimal back here, concealing the glistening water drops that are beginning to gather at the rims of your eyes.

Voice nearly breaking, you can’t articulate why it feels like the right time to say all of this. But here you are.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for so many years of unexplained anger and outbursts towards you, I’m sorry that I’ve been acting so immature even after all this time. I’m sorry for blaming you and making excuses to justify my actions and my feelings, I—”

You have more that you want to say but the words are no longer coming out, and maybe it’s because your throat feels like it’s burning from all of the emotion it just conveyed in the span of just a few seconds. Maybe it’s because you’ve somehow lost your voice even though you hadn’t been speaking above a whisper. But the most probable cause of them all, is this: maybe it’s because you’ve been rendered speechless by Haechan’s own apology that he delivers by messily crashing his mouth into yours, any further thoughts melting away against his soft lips.

For once, you don’t mind being cut off by him if it’s like this.

His heart begins to sink when you pull away after only a few seconds, but a small smile graces his features once again as you lean in so that your lips hover next to his ear.

“You better not mess up my makeup, Lee Haechan.”

“Donghyuck, actually.”

“What?” Quizzically, you arch an eyebrow.

“My name. My real name.”

“So why do y—”

“Shh, no time. Kiss now, talk later.”

You can’t argue with that. Not when he’s beholding you with a long-awaited forgiveness and a fondness long-concealed in his eyes. Not when the thrill of a time limit has your brains going a mile a minute, an electric buzz erupting over the expanse of your skin his hands are grasping.

You kiss him like it’s the only thing in the whole world that you know how to do. The setting is far from picturesque, with the tangled technical wires littering the floor at your feet and leftover stage equipment haphazardly leaning against the wall, but neither of you really care. Taking care not to snag the fabric of your costume, his fingers find purchase on your waist and his lips on the dip of your collarbone. At first they dotingly imprint fleeting pecks onto the rise and fall of the skin there, but when their pressure and his haste starts to escalate, you know you have to stop him before he starts something you can’t finish.

“Hyuck!” The abbreviation of his name makes his head snap up, bewildered but pleased.

“You can’t leave marks, I told you...” you trail off. “Hey, why are you smiling like that?”

“Please never call me anything else, ever.”

Donghyuck brings you in for one more kiss, well aware that a stagehand could turn the corner at any given moment. Drinking you in, he captures your lips between his, letting your body press his back into the wall behind him, and a few sharp inhales later, you break apart.

You fix his hair while he adjusts your clothes, and you’re just in time because a technician spots you and urgently gestures towards the stage. “You’re up!”

Positioning yourselves on opposite sides of the large performance space, the lights go down and you hear the rush of air from the heavy curtain opening as it glides past you. The thick artificial smoke partially obscures his form, but you can see his eyes clearly, nearly glowing in the darkness.

As the music starts, slow and quiet at first, you step to the rhythm just like you practiced. When a loud, electronic chord blares, you both pick up speed, launching into that waltz step you first learned many weeks earlier. For the first time ever, you’re able to look into his eyes.

Anyone could see that your movements complement each other effortlessly, but only your teacher picks up on the shift in mood after the countless times she’s seen you perform in the studio. Only she notices the shift in both of your gazes. You look... happy. Focused. Confident.

Donghyuck was able to bring you out of the shell you retreated into so long ago. You don’t feel subordinate as you’re dancing next to him, or being held in his arms. You move as equals, two parts of a whole.

When he picks you up, you can’t help but allow a small smile to stretch your lips. Donghyuck tries to remind you that you’re supposed to have lustful looks in your eyes by narrowing his own at you, but it’s no use. Your slight grin is contagious, and it ends up taking over his face as well.

You finish the piece smoothly, ending in a pose with your backs pressed together and hands clasped. Applause erupts from the audience, and a few cheers come from the rest of the performers waiting in the wings, shielded from the view of the crowd sitting in the seats below.

Needless to say, as you pass other dancers in the halls and receive countless congratulations and compliments, all you can think about is having Donghyuck’s lips on your skin again.

One long heart-to-heart and dozens, no, hundreds of kisses later, all is right with your world. It’s foreign territory to you both, not wanting to pounce on each other at every waking moment. But it’s something you’ll explore together, figuring out how to make up for lost time and just how to go about this newly-repaired relationship.

Exiting the empty dressing room, you take his hand in your own and head backstage once again to watch the rest of the showcase from the side, with your head leaning on his shoulder and his arm pulling you close.

At the party held for all the members of the show’s cast that night, it’s far too loud for your liking, and there’s no room to properly dance with Donghyuck. Despite you all being professional dancers-in-training, everyone else seems to have reverted to the mindset of your average high school student, thinking that jumping up and down repeatedly qualifies as dancing. You disagree, but whatever. It’s not important.

What is important, however, is the fact that the two of you would much rather escape the suffocating crowd of young adults. You would much rather slip out through the sliding glass door that leads to the house’s backyard, marveling at the fading sunset that melts into a deep blue night sky dotted with splashes of clustered lights. The stars are nature’s spotlights, shining down on you as Donghyuck takes you in his arms, one hand finding yours and the other resting on your side, somewhere between your hips and your waist.

Swaying in the silence with only the noises of the evening as your soundtrack, the boy that you would’ve sworn was the devil incarnate a month ago looks so angelic, so lovable. You can’t believe this is what you’ve been missing out on.

“So, should we start over?”

“Definitely.”

There’s no one else in this world you’d rather dance the night away with.

383 notes · View notes

splendidly-secret-sick-fics · 3 years

Note

Ooo! What about Kuroo feeling really unwell during training camp while training with Bokuto, Akaashi, Tsukki, Hinata and Lev? He's probably felt bad for a while, but just suffered through. So when everything becomes too much, a panicking Hinata runs to get Kenma... and you can decide the rest.

Only if you're comfortable with writing it though! Have a nice day!

Leaders Don’t Cry: a Kuroo sickfic

Pairing: sick Kuroo, caretakers Kenma, Tsukki, Bokuto, Akaashi, kinda Hinata & Lev

Word Count: 4,266

Warnings: vomit, swearing, slight emetophobia, and sad Kuroo :(

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Thanks for the request friend :) I’ve only ever written Kuroo & Kenma as side characters, so this was kinda fun!!

I’m not super super happy with the overall product, but that’s alright. I do feel like maybe it’s not super cohesive? Idk. Let me know!! I look forward to improving my characterization of Kuroo and Kenma.

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Kuroo was a Leader. He was someone that others looked up to. Someone you could depend on.

Leaders were extroverts though, and Kuroo had to admit he did his best Recharging alone in his room or the quiet company of the Kenma. That’s an Introvert Thing, apparently. Even when he was young, too many people or too much social interaction drained him. Another Introvert Thing.

When he met Kenma and started playing volleyball, it seemed he naturally outgrew his Introvert Model, shedding his shy, intimidated outer-self. It was easily replaced with the Extrovert Model.

Now, Kuroo liked being surrounded by his team and his friends and he liked meeting new people. That’s an Extrovert Thing. So Kuroo was an Extrovert.

(“That makes you an Introverted Extrovert, Kuro,” Kenma told him one day. Kuroo didn’t understand how that could possibly be a thing.)

As an Extrovert, it was only natural that he became the captain of his volleyball team his third year. It was only natural that he was the Bridge between Karasuno and the Tokyo powerhouse schools.

(Kenma claimed, when the two of them were alone at least, that it was really his friendship with Chibi-Chan and their coaches that did that. Kuroo refused to concede this point.)

As the Leader and Bridge, it was again only natural that not only his team, but also other teams’ players were drawn to his wisdom and sparkling personality.

(“You forced yourself on them,” Kenma sighed.)

And that’s how he, Kuroo Tetsuro, Certified Extroverted Leader, came to be in Gym Three, long after their main practice ended with two of Karasuno’s first years, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Lev.

And that’s also how he ended up in the Worst Possible Situation.

It went down like this.

They were at another training camp with the Fukurodani Group and Regular Guests, Karasuno High. It was a short one, thrown together quickly because of the long weekend.

After much convincing (read: coercion) from him and Bokuto, Tsukishima Kei agreed to join them again for blocking practice. They pushed because Kuroo couldn’t stand to watch this kid’s talent waste away and Bokuto was personally offended that Tsukki still didn’t seem to enjoy volleyball.

It should have come as no surprise that Karasuno’s Hinata Shoyo joined in again, determined to redeem himself from his previous loss at the last camp.

And then because Haiba Lev decided that Chibi-chan and him were rivals, he joined in too.

(Akaashi claimed he had no choice but to join. It was either endless practice or endless Dejected Bokuto. Kuroo thinks he’s just masochistic.)

Their first night was awesome. He saw a fire ignited in Tsukki and got to smash Bokuto’s spikes back in his face. Plus, his ego was boosted because the three first years were all wowed by his skill.

Tonight, however, was not great. If he was honest with himself, things were bad from the second he woke up, and promptly wanted to curl back into his futon.

His head hurt and his body ached. The sounds of his team waking up and getting ready for the day set his nerves on edge the second he heard them. He felt overcrowded and overstimulated and he wasn’t even out of bed yet.

It had all the signs of a Recharge Alone Day, but it was the last full day of a training camp in which he was supposed to be a Leader. So, he pushed that all aside and got up to go lead.

As the day progressed, Kuroo gave more and more thought to Kenma’s “Introverted Extrovert” theory. He still loved his team and wanted to be around them. He did want to participate in the games and hang out with the other teams.

He also so so very badly wanted to sit in the dark for the next several hours.

Kuroo’s headache only grew more insistent as the day went on, likely due to the sounds of squeaking shoes, bouncing volleyballs, and the too warm summer heat. He got increasingly more fidgety and nervous all day and it made him uncomfortable in his own skin. That, added to the already ever-present soreness of his limbs only served to make him more miserable.

But he was the Captain, so he shoved those feelings down, ignored his headache, and tried to act as normal as possible. For the most part, his plan worked and no one bothered him about what might be wrong. Kenma was the only one that eyed him suspiciously every time his Extrovert facade slipped a little. At the end of the regular practice, his best friend approached him slowly.

“Hey,” he said, his voice quiet as usual.

“Kenma! What’s up, dude?” Kuroo forced, trying to maintain his usual Extrovert Mode.

“Cut the crap, Kuro,” Kenma sighed, blunt and exhausted as usual.

“Kenma, what are you—“

“Are you sick?”

The question caught Kuroo off guard. Was he sick? He thought it was just an Introvert Day that he had to push through. Maybe Kenma had a point though? It wasn’t like he normally felt this drained during a training camp. That usually came after the camp ended.

“No,” he eventually replied and waved his hand, “nah. Just tired. I think practicing with the guys at night took more of my energy than usual.” That must be it. He didn’t usually have to put out that much energy after practice. Lev, Hinata, and Bokuto were all True Extroverts, after all. Unlike Kuroo, who just molded himself into one. It made sense.

Kenma studied him with wide eyes before relenting and saying “Don’t push yourself, Kuro.”

“I won’t, don’t worry. I am a little tired though so maybe I’ll forgo evening prac—“

“Kuroo-san!” Hinata ran up to them, “are we practicing again today?? I want you to show me that cool wha-BAM block again!!” He jumped up and slammed his hands down, most likely trying to imitate exactly what he was trying to convey. All the loud explanation did was call attention back to his headache.

“Shoyo, Kuro was actually just saying that he was—“

“On my way to look for you Chib-chan!” Kuroo interrupted. Kenma narrowed his eyes at him, but Kuroo couldn’t deny the little red headed twerp.

“Let’s go grab something to eat and then we’ll round up the others.”

Hinata looked at him with those stupid starry eyes and nodded before running off to pester Tsukishima. Kuroo deflated some.

“Kuro. It’s okay to take breaks. I know you think that this is what you should be doing as Captain, but it’s alright to say no sometimes,” Kenma said.

“I know, Kenma,” Kuroo smiled gently, ignoring the uneasy feeling in his gut, “Thank you for looking out, but I’m fine! It’s only one more day. Tomorrow afternoon once everyone’s gone, I’ll just hang out in my room. You can come over if you want and play that new game I bought.”

Kenma studied him again before letting out a long-suffering exhale.

“Sure. Sounds good.”

After they ate, the six of them met up in Gym Three for another three on three. On the outside, things were going well. On the inside, Kuroo’s head was quickly descending into chaos.

He pretended that Bokuto, Lev and Hinata weren’t too loud. He pretended that he had enough energy to show them the same move seven times. He pretended he was enjoying this.

All the while, his headache slowly transitioned into a migraine, his limbs got heavier, and his dinner swirled in his stomach nauseatingly. It took maximum effort to stay awake, let alone play a three on three with three of the most energetic people he’d ever met before.

It all came to a head when his feet slammed down after blocking one of Bokuto’s cross shots. The power behind those normally made him stumble upon landing, but this time it sent a sharp pain shooting through his head and stars dance in his vision. He couldn’t regain his footing, and he stumbled onto his ass.

“Kuroo-san?” Akaashi asked when he didn’t get back up. He couldn’t get back up. The stars were still there and he couldn’t really find his feet.

“Y-yeah?” he stuttered.

“Hey, hey, hey, Kuroo, you alright my man?” Bokuto’s voice boomed and he winced before he could stop himself.

“Kuroo-san? What’s wrong?” Akaashi was kneeling beside him now. He could tell by the proximity of his voice.

“Just a a little...dizzy,” he forced a laugh, trying to play it off. He squeezed his eyes shut and brought a hand up to squeeze at his temples. What the hell was happening?

“Kuroo-san! Do you want some water?” Hinata’s voice rang and clanged in his head. He groaned.

“Kuroo-san, don’t die!!” Lev’s voice pounded. He grimaced.

“Would you idiots keep it down?” Tsukishima, beautiful, quiet Tsukishima commanded.

“Hey, Stupid we’re just trying to help!” Hinata screeched.

“And clearly he’s got a headache, you massive dolt. Keep your volume down,” Tsukki snapped back. Kuroo would thank him if the room would stop spinning.

Suddenly, a hand was on his forehead.

“You’ve got a fever,” Akaashi stated.

Oh. Well, Kenma was right after all. He was sick. The confirmation snapped something into place and all of his emotions, his control, whooshed out of him in one fell swoop. All the symptoms he ignored all day came to the very front of his mind and all he could think about was how miserable he felt.

“Oh,” he choked around the abrupt knot in his throat. He blinked his eyes open and turned to look at Akaashi. The setter was serious as ever, but there was a small frown on his lips and tiny furrow to his brows.

“Bokuto-san, can you bring me your warm up jacket?”

Bokuto nodded and quickly, but thankfully quietly, brought their jackets over and Akaashi draped it around Kuroo’s shoulders.

“Kuroo-san, do you want to lie down?” he soothed.

“Akaashi, I don’t feel good,” he muttered. There was a burning in his eyes and a quiver to his lips that he really wished would go away.

“I know. We’ll get you to your room, but first, I need you to get yourself together some.”

“I don’t...I don’t feel good,” he said, an all too evident shake in his voice. This is not what Leaders do. But he felt so terrible, there was nothing he could do to prevent this sudden onslaught of emotions. Before he knew it, warm tears rolled down his flushed cheeks.

“Kuroo-san!” Hinata screeched. Tsukishima smacked him upside the head. He glared and rubbed the back of his head.

“Kuroo-san,” he tried again, quieter this time, “don’t cry, please. It’s okay!”

Kuroo couldn’t help it. He appreciated Hinata’s attempts at comfort, but he was so drained and he was so sick and he couldn’t help it.

“Kuroo, what can we do to help, man?” Bokuto asked gently, much to his and Akaashi’s (flustered and very evident) surprise. He sat down by Kuroo and rubbed a hand soothingly up and down his back. It helped for a second, but then it just made his skin crawl and his stomach turn.

“I I don’t...I don’t know,” he whimpered pitifully, “I don’t feel good.” He exhaled and dropped his chin to his chest. The downward spiral of both his physical and mental condition brought him further and further into his own self-incurred misery. He needed someone else to be the leader. Anyone.

“Ahhhh, Kuroo-san.” Hinata flailed.

“What about Kenma?” Lev whisper-yelled. Hinata’s spine straightened sharply.

“Good idea, Lev! I know where he is. I’ll go get him!” Hinata proclaimed and ran out.

“Kuroo, what doesn’t feel good?” Bokuto asked.

Kuroo inhaled shakily.

“Head.. my head hurts. And I’m sore and uh and my st-stomach,” he responded through panting breaths.

“There’s a stomach bug that just hit a couple of the player’s on Shinzen’s team,” Tsukishima supplied helpfully.

“Sounds like you might’ve picked that up, Kuroo-san.” Akaashi clicked his tongue.

This was news to him. It must’ve just happened because usually the captains kept each other up to date on those kinds of things as soon as they could. If that was true, that would explain why it came on so quickly. He was fine yesterday. Even just a few hours ago, he was nothing but a little groggy. Now it felt like he got hit by a bus.

If it was a stomach bug, that meant….

“No, no,” he panicked, “no I don’t want that.” He wrapped his hands around his swirling stomach.

“Kuroo, calm down. It’s alright. You’re gonna make it worse,” Bokuto said. Kuroo shook his aching head.

“No I hate throwing up, Bo,” he whimpered and dropped his head to look at his shaking hands.

“Oh…” Akaashi breathed, “do you feel like you might?”

“I don’t know,” he said again. Because he didn’t want to. He absolutely did not want to puke. Not in front of these first years. That might ruin all of his credibility as an upperclassmen, let alone the Captain of a powerhouse school.

Geez, what a pitiful and pathetic display he was putting on. He was supposed to be someone these kids looked up to, and now they were helping him.

“Here,” Tsukishima said, handing Akaashi and Bokuto a bucket from the supply room. Kuroo eyed it distastefully.

“It’s just in case, Kuroo-san!” Lev tried. But the more Kuroo got worked up in spite of himself, the more he realized that wasn’t true. His current emotional state wreaked havoc on his head, which in turn twisted his gut.

Several minutes passed and Kuroo took the time to collect himself so that he could get it together enough to go to his room. At least there he could be miserable and pathetic alone.

While he was able to get himself to stop crying, the come down from the sudden rush of emotions only made his other symptoms that much more prevalent.

Kuroo groaned miserably, “where’s Kenma?”

“Hinata-kun has gone to get him. He’ll be back soon hopefully.”

“Akaashi, I don’t feel good,” he whined and curled tighter in on himself.

“I know,” Akaashi said.

“Feels… bad…” he swallowed thickly.

“Kuroo…” Tsukishima warned. He shook his head.

“‘M sorry,” he mumbled. Something heaved in his stomach and he pulled his shoulders up to his ears and brought the back of his hand to his mouth.

“Y’guys should go,” he said around the pool of saliva in his mouth and the heaviness of his jaw. Who he was talking to at this point, he wasn’t sure. He just knew that being around him right now was only asking to catch this. He also knew he was about to puke and he really wanted to try and maintain some of his dignity.

“Too late for that, numbskull. We’ve been around you for days. If we’re gonna catch it, we’re gonna catch it. Might as well make sure you don’t die,” Tsukishima said. Kuroo, behind his mounting nausea and hazy brain, was touched by his salty kouhai’s attempt at comfort.

“I think he meant he doesn’t want you to see him spew, Tsukkidude,” Bokuto murmured. His hand was still on Kuroo’s back and while it was more comforting than bothersome now, it also served to swirl things around in his stomach and brain. He nodded lethargically.

“Kuroo-san, if you could, uh— please, just, um...wait...for Kenma-san, I think it would make you feel, uh, better. To have him here, that is. Instead of...uh...me,” Akaashi stammered. Kuroo heard the nervousness in his voice and felt bad. There wasn’t much he could do to stave off the inevitable though.

“You squeamish, ‘Kaashi?” Bokuto asked.

“Uhhhh,” Akaashi hesitated, high pitched, “maybe a little.”

“Bo,” Kuroo panted, punctuated by a sick hiccup.

“I gotcha, buddy. Bucket’s right here,” Bokuto reassured and placed the bucket in his lap. “You can leave guys, I got this.” He said to the other three.

“Yeah...I’m gonna take you up on that,” Lev said uneasily. “Sorry Kuroo-san.” He bowed and then sprinted out of the gym. Tsukishima looked more hesitant, but ultimately bowed and left as well.

“Akaashi?” Bokuto said right as Kuroo spit into the bucket. The sounds of their conversation faded in and out with the rest of Kuroo’s surroundings. All he could fully register was the lump of something nasty moving up his chest. All he could see was the blinding red color of the bucket.

A few airy burps that grated his throat passed through his parted lips. He whimpered.

“It’s alright, Kuroo,” Bokuto’s voice filtered through the haze. He gagged.

It hurt. It hurt so badly. Each heave, gag and hiccup that plagued him for the next several moments.

Where was Kenma?

Kuroo coughed, hiccupped, and a small stream of vomit trailed out of his mouth. It wasn’t enough. It still hurt. He wheezed.

“Hey, Kuroo-san, try to take deep breaths,” Akaashi’s shaky voice commanded.

“Can’t,” he gasped, coughing up more bile.

Fuck he wanted this to be over.

Cough, gasp, puke. The painful, horrific cycle repeated for several tense minutes. It didn’t relieve any of his discomfort.

Bokuto patted his back and tried to offer comforting words. Akaashi wouldn’t look at Kuroo, but he was there, another steady presence to offer some grounding to Kuroo.

“Kuroo- san! I found Kenma!” Hinata’s voice cut through his misery. “He was in the shower. I’m sorry it took so long!”

“Kuro,” Kenma said, voice calm, blunt, comforting. He took Akaashi’s place at his side, his Snorlax slippers and ratty sweatpants taking up Kuroo’s peripheral.

“I don’ feel good,” Kuroo told him around the bile coating his mouth. Kenma put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

“I gathered that,” he said with amusement, “it’s okay. Just relax.”

Kuroo shook his head. Relaxing meant letting this happen. He did not want it to happen.

“Tetsu, don’t be an ass,” Kenma sighed, exasperated.

“Kenma,” he whimpered. The hand on his shoulder squeezed again.

“How long has he been like this?” Kenma directed at someone else in the room.

“About 15 minutes,” Akaashi’s shaky voice answered.

“Shit, Tetsuro, why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Kenma asked. Kuroo shook his head slowly.

“Didn’ re’lize,” he slurred. His stomach cramped and his inhaled sharply through his teeth and gripped tightly at his shirt. As soon as the cramp passed, he gagged, his body jolting forward.

“Uh, I’m gonna—I’m gonna go,” Hinata stuttered out and then Kuroo heard his tiny feet run from the gym.

“Can you two go get Nobuyuki and Yaku from the Nekoma quarters? I’m sure Lev is looking for them, but he’s an idiot,” Kenma demanded of Akaashi and Bokuto, the inflection behind his voice commanding and unwavering. It comforted Kuroo in ways he didn’t understand.

Despite how it appeared to onlookers, Kenma was alway the one taking care of Kuroo. More than Kuroo took care of him, anyway. The setter always knew exactly what Kuroo needed before he even said anything. He was passive most of the time, content to let things be, but stubborn and steadfast when he needed to be. Which was something that Kuroo was grateful for, too prone to letting his emotions take over. Kenma was a sturdy support for Kuroo when he was at his weakest.

“They’re gone, Testsu. Relax and let it happen. It’s just you and me,” Kenma told him. He put his forehead on the top of Kuroo’s matted, sweaty hair. The parts of Kenma’s hair that touched Kuroo were wet and cold. It felt nice.

The uncharacteristic gentle action from Kenma made something in Kuroo’s chest twinge and he whimpered, fresh tears dropping into the bucket.

Kuroo could be himself with Kenma. He didn’t need to be the Captain or a Leader or an Extrovert or even an Introverted Extrovert. He could just be Kuroo.

“Just us, Tetsu,” Kenma said and pulled his head back.

Kuroo inhaled slowly, deeply and exhaled, trying to relax his shoulders and back. It didn’t take much more for his stomach to finally find relief.

A gurgling hiccup brought up a small stream of bile and he coughed. Another hiccup brought a little more. Then finally, he belched, wet and heady, and heaved, a much stronger torrent of disgusting vomit moving up his chest and out of his mouth.

“There ya go,” Kenma sighed. He moved Kuroo’s unruly hair, made more disgusting by the sheen of sweat covering his forehead, back and away from his face. Kuroo lurched forward with a gag, bringing up more of his dinner.

“Holy shit, Kuro, that’s some fever. I’m sorry you’ve felt so bad all day,” Kenma whispered. Kuroo shook his head, spitting out the nasty taste in his mouth, trying to find his breath before the next round.

He didn’t get much of a chance before he heaved again.

“God,” he slurred between wretches.

“It’s alright. Calm down,” Kenma instructed.

He puked twice more before his stomach settled for the time being.

“Kenma...please…” he whispered, gesturing for him to move the bucket away.

“Here,” Kenma handed him a water, “drink this first. Rinse out your mouth.” Kuroo did as he was told and spit into the bucket. Kenma took it away after that and Kuroo thanked him quietly. He inhaled, bringing his head up and looking at Kenma for the first time since the setter got there.

Kenma’s eyebrows were furrowed ever so slightly, a subtle pout on his lips. He brushed Kuroo’s bangs back again.

“Thanks, Kenma,” he smiled weakly. Kenma clicked his tongue.

“You’re an idiot,” he sighed. It lacked any of its usual blunt edge.

“Kuroo!!” Kai called out, running into the gym. They were both wearing medical masks, a couple more in their hands.

“Hey,” he said sheepishly, a hand on the back of his neck.

“I knew something was wrong. You really are such a dumbass,” Yaku said, a hand on his hip and an eyebrow raised. He was as blunt as usual.

“Thanks, Yaku. You’re as gentle as ever.”

“Yeah, well. Can’t help it when you decide to push yourself to this point,” he said, turning his face away. “Idiot,” he added as an afterthought. Kuroo couldn’t see his cheeks behind his mask, but his ears were red.

“You alright Kenma? Here,” Kai asked and handed Kenma a mask. Kenma shook his head.

“Too late for that,” he sighed.

“Yeah, but several of Shinzen and Fukurodani’s players have gone down with the same thing as our fearless leader here. We’re trying to contain it so it doesn’t spread more,” Kai explained.

“Yeah. Exactly. You wear one too, Kuroo,” Yaku insisted. Kuroo didn’t like the idea of having his mouth covered, but he also didn’t like the idea of spreading this wretched fate to others.

Kenma and Kuroo took the masks and then Yaku pulled some meds out of the bag on his shoulder and handed them to him. Kuroo’s lip curled, but Kenma pinched his elbow and he relented. They hit his stomach with a hollow thud.

Kai held a hand out to help Kuroo up. As soon as he stood, his knees buckled and black spots danced in his vision. Kai quickly caught him around his waist and threw Kuroo’s arm around his shoulder.

“Try not to pass out until we get back to the quarantine room. It’d make things difficult,” Yaku said. Kuroo would’ve rolled his eyes if he had the energy.

Together, they made it back to the classrooms (repurposed as sleeping quarters for the camp). There was a room for people who already puked and one for anyone experiencing symptoms. Kuroo was shocked to find Akaashi there, leaning over a trash can, Bokuto rubbing his back, as well as several Shinzen players, a couple Ubugawa players, and the setter from Karasuno.

Hinata was there as well, sitting beside Kageyama with his arms crossed and a disgruntled look on his face.

Yaku set up a new futon for Kuroo and Kai helped him settle into it. He immediately curled up on his side, exhaling in relief.

They asked if he needed anything, promised to bring him a change of clothes, and left. Kenma saw them out but then came back and plopped himself down beside Kuroo.

“You can go, Kenma,” he said, looking up at him with one eye open. Kenma shrugged.

“I wouldn’t leave you,” he said plainly. Like it wasn’t embarrassing at all. Kuroo smiled to himself.

“What’s with Chibi-Chan?” He asked in lieu of a response. Kenma snickered.

“His team sent him here when Kageyama came down with the bug. Apparently their “secret relationship” isn’t so secret.”

Kuroo chuckled. That was probably why Akaashi and Bokuto were both here as well.

“You know,” Kenma said.

“Hmm,” Kuroo replied sleepily.

“No one thinks you’re less of a Leader just because you’re sick. It happens to everyone. Doesn’t mean you’re not still someone other people look up to,” Kenma said quietly, matter-of-fact.

“Mmm.. you’re right,” he muttered back. He was. Kuroo knew that. He appreciated the reminder though.

“Go to sleep, Tetsu,” Kenma said and stretched his legs out beside Kuroo. He ran his fingers through Kuroo’s hair. Sleep called to him and his eyes slowly closed.

He woke up several times before the next morning, because of other people puking, because he needed to puke and once when Kenma puked, swearing Kuroo out for getting him sick.

He apologized profusely and pulled Kenma’s hair back with the hair tie he kept on his wrist.

Kuroo was a Leader. Someone other people liked and looked up to.

Sometimes Leaders needed someone to lean on too, he supposed. Thank goodness he had Kenma.

#haikyuu sickfic #my fics #sick kuroo #caretaker kenma #caretaker Akaashi #caretaker Bokuto #caretaker Tsukishima #caretaker Hinata #caretaker Lev #kinda sorta #they tried okay?#tw vomit #haikyuu #kuroo tetsurō #kenma kozume #emeto warning #emeto #fever

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drwcn · 3 years

Text

#9 【Carbon in the Steel】

cql au: everyone is an orphan except wwx; dark!twin jades

The Brothers Lan

There was once a little house, on the outskirts of a farming village beyond the tiered rice fields south of Meishan, far, far away from Cloud Recesses. Both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji remembered that house. It was the house Father had built for Mother, and it was there that they were born.

It sat at the base of a hill where many tall bamboo trees grew, and in the garden, there had been gentians, indigo and violet, that bloomed beautifully every summer.

Lan Xichen would dream sometimes of that house and of the wonderful days in those early years.

Father, look!

Excellent form, A-Huan. Very good. Much improved. Now, remember to keep your balance on your front…

These days he could no longer recall Father’s face. His voice though, Lan Xichen still remembered as clear as a bell. On the other hand, his brother Wangji did not remember much of Father at all; instead, it was Mother’s smile that he could never forget.

Mother, can A-Zhan and I stay with you and Father tonight?

P’ease, Mo’her.

Lan Xichen remembered hugging his baby brother like a doll and strategically weakening his parents’ resolve using his baby pout and big puppy eyes. A-Zhan was always a trooper, so cooperative, so excellent at looking like a perfect toddler. Stoic though. So stoic for a baby. What a weird kid.

We had a bad dream.

Bad dweam.

Those were obviously lies. They never had bad dreams then; those would come much later, when their reality became worse than any nightmare they could ever imagine.

Jiujiu never needed to tell them that Mother and Father were dead, or what death was. They’d seen plenty of creatures die: the village’s cattle they butchered for the new year, the spinster's kittens that didn’t survive the winter, and the pheasants they caught and roasted for A-Zhan’s birthday.

Father had been a lifelong vegetarian, so eating meat didn’t agree with his stomach, but he never enforced such rules on his sons. In fact Father didn’t enforce any rules on his sons, except to show kindness where they could and to be true to their hearts.

Father probably didn’t anticipate just how difficult it was to be kind when the world had been so wholly unkind. Nor did he anticipate that he would die in such a violent and sudden manner without even so much as a goodbye.

I don’t remember what were the last words Father said to me. Wangji would confess to Xichen one day. I don’t even remember what Father looked like.

They were by the marsh catching lobsters with jiujiu when it happened. Mother suddenly appeared and spoke words that were foreign and frightening - Gusu Lan, cultivators, siege, pursuit, escape. Go. Now. She didn’t hug them or kiss them. Lan Xichen remembered Wangji reaching up towards her to be picked up and the confusion and heartbreak in his eyes when she pushed him back into jiujiu’s waiting arms.

A-niang...

At a certain point, jiujiu must’ve done something to them, because neither Wangji nor himself remember any part of their journey out of that village. When they woke up, they were somewhere high up and deep in the mountains. His little brother had looked at him and he had stared back and they both knew then that their parents were dead. Curled in their jiujiu’s arms, they cried themselves into another fitful sleep, and all the while, jiujiu didn’t wake up once, too exhausted by the endless days of travel.

To them, jiujiu - like all adults - was old, but it was not until they grew up that they realized that Zhao Zhuliu at the time of their parents’ demise had been no more than twenty years old, barely more than a boy himself.

Life with jiujiu was quiet, but after some time, they were able to find a sliver of happiness.

Zhao Zhuliu was a quiet man, always had been, and that didn’t change just because he now had two young children on his hands. But he loved them, his sister’s only blood left on this earth; by god, he loved them beyond reason.

Jiujiu was not a talker, but he was never distant, and though he was strict in his training of their cultivation and their swordsmanship, he was never harsh. So yes, life was quiet, but at least for a while there was a roof over their heads and food in their belly, and they never had to wonder where they would be tomorrow…

When jiujiu failed to return from his night-hunt, Lan Xichen knew that something had gone terribly wrong.

Lan Xichen was the older one; he was thirteen. Practically an adult, he told himself. If jiujiu never came back, then he was just going to have to take care of Wangji.

Whatever it takes.

His brother was not a needy child, but when he turned eleven, he seemed to have found his appetite and ate everything Xichen could get his hands on. Fishing was the easiest and hunting a big game lasted them a while if he could preserve it just right, but even if he collected berries in the mountains and wild herbs in the forest, he still needed grains, still needed new clothes for the winter, and still needed oil to light a lamp at night so Wangji could continue to practice his calligraphy.

He did try; you must know. Lan Xichen did try to do things the right way, but there was only so much money he could earn by book-keeping at a shop, or running errands for merchants, or even waiting tables at an inn. He was a child, and desperate, and nobody would pay him a dime if they could get away with a nickel.

It didn’t take long for Xichen to learn that the fastest way of earning money was often the most unsavoury and that he wasn’t above reaching for those means. There were no lengths Lan Xichen wouldn’t go to keep his brother safe and happy, no asset within his arsenal of skills and attributes that he wouldn’t hone and weaponize to make himself stronger. He got good at stealing, got great at cheating, and grew accustomed to killing. Every so often...if there were other offers available, well...Wangji would never need to know.

Morals do not matter if Wangji went hungry. I can’t let Wangji go hungry.

And, once a year, Lan Xichen would buy a box of osmanthus pastry, like the kind Mother used to make for them - flakey and fragrant, rich but not overwhelming - and he and Wangji would sit together under the stars and finish the box all in one go.

“Happy birthday, didi.”

Chewing slowly on the osmanthus pastry, Wangji would smile, and it would all be worth it.

“Thank you, xiongzhang.”

Then, three years after jiujiu was taken, a startling news broke out over the lands.

After years of internal strife, the dirty politics of Lanling Jin finally fractured the once glorious reigning sect. Jin Guangshan’s many children and their scheming “little mothers” formed factions and allied themselves with subsidiary sects all vying for control over Lanling’s seat of power. (小娘 xiao’niang = little mother, what one calls one’s mother if one’s mother is not the legal wife. The “real” mother of any children would always be the legal wife, while their birth mothers are ‘little mothers’.)

The details of Jin Guangshan’s demise was not entirely clear, but eventually it was his third son Jin Zitao who became the new Sect Master Jin. Being only eleven years old, it was clear to anyone who had eyes that he was a puppet, completely controlled by the whims of his regent mother, Jin Guangshan’s once favourite concubine, and the ancient respected Qin family who had promised their daughter Qin Su to be his bride once they both come of age.

People had praised Qin Su’s stepmother, Sect Master Qin’s second wife, for securing such an advantageous marriage for a daughter not even of her own blood, stating that with the Dowager Madame Jin’s clever mind and Sect Master Qin’s seniority and experience, surely the murky pond of Lanling would become peaceful once again.

The bigger question now was with three of the five major sects being led by minors - Qishan’s 14 year-old Wen Yuefan, Yunmeng’s 13 year-old Jiang Wanyin, and Lanling’s 11 year-old Jin Zitao - who then would become the next Chief Cultivator. Qinghe Nie seemed the most obvious choice at first glance, for they were the fiercest warriors, but given Sect Master Nie Heqiu’s most recent close encounter with yet another qi deviation, it seemed perhaps the real day-to-day leadership role was fulfilled by his first son Nie Mingjue. At seventeen years of age, he was certainly older than his contemporaries, but still a far cry from what was required to be His Excellency. (温越凡 Wen Yuefan = Wen Qing’s courtesy name)

Naturally, all eyes were drawn then towards Cloud Recesses, whose previous chance at obtaining the seat of Chief Cultivator had been dashed when its sect master at that time, Qingheng-jun, mysteriously vanished more than a decade ago. Now it seemed that Gusu Lan’s fortune was about to change yet again, when what once should have gone to Lan Cenrong now fell to his younger brother Lan Qiren.

News of his rise to power had spread far and wide, until every man, woman, and child knew his name. Until Lan Xichen heard from a gossiping bar-keep at a tavern. Until Lan Wangji heard from the children playing on the street.

One morning Lan Xichen returned to their temporary home to see Wangji sitting in front of the breakfast he’d prepared (when did he learn to cook???) and a purse on the table filled with silver coins and small gold nuggets.

“Wangji...where did you -”

“I don’t want you to go out at night again, xiongzhang,” said Lan Wangji bluntly.

Taken aback by Wangji’s tone and his implications, Xichen quickly gathered his wits and tried to maintain control of the conversation. “That doesn’t answer my question; where did you get the money?”

“I also went out last night, after you assumed I fell asleep and left.”

Xichen’s blood went cold. “You...went out? Out? In the middle of the night?! To do what?!”

Lan Wangji’s stoicism did not waver. “What one usually does to get paid at night. What you’ve been doing for years.”

In three long strides, Lan Xichen strode up to his little brother - his baby brother - and yanked him up by the collar. Grabbing his arms with both hands, he forced Wangji to look him in the eye as he exclaimed in a mad panic, “You didn’t! Tell me you didn’t!!”

God, Wangji, what have you done, what have you done - how could I let this happen - I should’ve done better -

Wangji did not blink, but after a long terrible silence, he said, “No. I didn’t. I just followed you. I saw.”

“You saw…”

There had been a man who eyed him with interest. Lan Xichen wasn’t looking for business - hadn’t been looking for months - but winter was coming and Wangji was growing so much he would need several new sets of robes. Xichen hadn’t been working as many hours as he’d been previously. He needed to train, to cultivate - they both did - so that one day they could do what needed to be done. The core melting technique was not to be trifled with lightly, jiujiu had warned them. They needed time to practice, to perfect it, time that couldn’t be used to earn income.

While yes he could steal and yes he could kill, Lan Xichen realized early on that those two options often caught the attention of local authorities or worse the local cultivation sect, especially if his activities were too frequent or too conspicuous. Sometimes it was just easier…

“The money, then?”

“Don’t you recognize the purse?”

Xichen turned around. He did. He did recognize that silk embroidered draw-string purse. It belonged to the man from last night. He had taken money out of it this morning to pay Xichen for his time.

And when they parted ways, Xichen had gone to a public bath house to get rid of any incriminating evidence on his body before going home to his brother. That was his routine... had been his routine for years…

“I shoved his body down a well. That should buy us enough time to get out of this town. You weren’t planning for us to stay that long anyway right?”

“Wangji…Wangji -” Lan Xichen turned away. He couldn’t face his brother, who now knew what he knew.

“Xiongzhang, don’t do this for me anymore.” Lan Wangji’s hand found his own, squeezing it tightly.

“It’s - it’s really not a big deal.” Lan Xichen tried to laugh it off. “I don’t do it that often. Really - I am your older brother, it is my duty to -”

“No. No more. From now on, if you go out, I go out. I’m old enough -”

“You’re thirteen, a child!”

“So were you.”

Lan Xichen closed his eyes.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know I’m done waiting.”

Lan Wangji was talking, of course, about their vengeance. It was what they spoke of on most nights when they couldn’t sleep. For mother and father and jiujiu, they swore they would not rest until they razed Cloud Recesses to the ground and burned the core out of every last one of their disciples before slitting their throats.

Wangji came around to face him again and stared him down with his brows furrowed tightly above bright determined eyes. “It’s not fair. The Chief Cultivator was supposed to be Father! The heir of Gusu Lan is supposed to be you! Instead - instead...”

Tears welled up in his little brother’s eyes. “They hurt you, ge, I saw. I saw.”

Choking with shame, anger and a pain he couldn’t describe, Lan Xichen pulled Lan Wangji into a crushing hug. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry Wangji. I’m sorry I couldn’t do better. I’m...” Words failed. As Lan Wangji cried into his chest, Lan Xichen looked up to their leaky roof and their bare, striped walls, and wondered what the ethereal Cloud Recesses would look like. All that should have been theirs, should’ve been his, belonged to someone else.

Lan Qiren is Chief Cultivator now. He’s still holding jiujiu captive. He needs to die. The people who killed Father and Mother; they all need to die.

“You’re right, Wangji, you’re right. No more.”

“So you won’t leave at night anymore?”

“I won’t. The world has taken everything from us, I think it’s time we take what we are owed. Once we are strong, we will save jiujiu and avenge A-die and A-niang.”

“And if people try to stop us?”

“Then we will destroy them and anyone else that gets in our way.”

#cql #the untamed #twin jades #lan wangji #lan xichen #cql ficlet #corie fics #carbon in the steel

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mbti-notes · 3 years

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So, I'm an INTJ who often (especially in the past) have tried to be open and supportive to friends and an ex of mine when it comes to certain problems. I noticed that I often jump to trying to solve their problem for them or offering suggestions and end up neglecting their emotional needs in the end—there's maybe a 50% chance that I was helpful at all. The other alternative is accidentally being taken advantage of and used as a crutch, which I'm luckily done with. Is there any better way to help out when I can hardly understand how a friend feels outside of just being frustrated or anxious?

Practical information and advice about handling emotional needs is already covered in the Emotional Well-Being section, please read. I will use your question as an opportunity to elaborate on the concept of helping, since people often ask about it.

Being able to help effectively is not just one particular skill but a set of skills. I use the word “skills” because they can be learned as long as one has the motivation to study, practice, and improve. Most people know that helping skills are invaluable in a variety of professional and personal contexts. I would also argue that helping skills are essential for personal growth because they play an important role in overcoming the self-inflicted limitations of egocentrism in the process of ego development.

1. Empathy Skills

To be an effective helper, the first thing you need is a decent level of emotional intelligence. This involves having good emotional awareness, knowing how to identify and label feelings and emotions correctly, and knowing how to express feelings and emotions constructively. It is very difficult to understand the emotional life of others when you aren’t even able to understand your own or, worse, when your own emotional life is stunted, repressed, unstable, or dysfunctional. Work on improving your emotional intelligence and, if necessary, learn through healing your own emotional issues and wounds. If you suffer from all sorts of unaddressed or unresolved emotional issues swirling around in your unconscious mind, you are very likely to project them onto people, which will handicap or undermine your attempts to help them.

From having a healthy emotional life, you are able to practice the emotional empathy that is necessary for having a caring and helpful attitude. In human beings, empathy is a very natural emotional response to suffering, due to our evolutionary history of being a cooperative species. Unless you have neurological damage/deficits, you should be capable of feeling bad when you see someone else feeling bad, if only because you know how shitty it is to experience badness. That is the basis of empathy in a nutshell.

I use the phrase “practice empathy” because, when life is busy or too self-involved, it is all too easy to brush others off. Worse, some people are very averse to negativity and actively suppress their empathy so that they never have to feel guilty. Suppression of feeling, taken to extremes, may lead to callousness or aggression. Practicing empathy means that you actually stop and take the time to get in touch with your empathy, to really feel it, whenever you witness suffering. By actively deepening your empathy, you have a natural source of motivation to lend a helping hand.

Emotional empathy is how you nurture your moral character and moral virtues, i.e., to become an ethical, kind, caring, and compassionate person. By contrast, cognitive empathy is about having the ability to construct an accurate theory of mind and using it to assess human problems carefully, so that your solutions take into consideration how each vested party will be impacted. Another term that people use fairly synonymously with cognitive empathy is perspective taking. It involves putting yourself into another person’s shoes in an effort to understand: how they think, what they feel and why, what motivates them, what they need and desire, and the behavioral strategies that they are using to achieve their goals. The assumption is that, when you understand someone’s perspective more fully, you are better positioned to respond appropriately and effectively.

One of the reasons that people are drawn to type theory is because it offers insight into important and legitimate differences between people. Different people have different priorities, needs, and goals based on their cognitive functional stack and their life circumstances. This should always be taken into consideration when you’re trying to help. One of the most common pitfalls in helping people is operating on the assumption that they are similar to you, which leads you to overlook differences and apply the wrong kind of help. When you’re trying to construct a theory of mind, type theory gives you a leg up by opening up your mind to different possibilities and pointing you in useful directions for investigation. For example, if you are N and the other person is S, then you start off by understanding that your way of perceiving situations is very different from theirs, perhaps completely opposite, which should give you pause and force you to learn more about their cognitive process.

Emotional empathy and cognitive perspective taking must go together, otherwise, one or the other may lead you very astray. Emotional empathy, on its own, isn’t enough for being a good helper. In fact, some people have very strong emotional empathy and make situations even worse because they just act immediately on their feelings without any consideration for the consequences. For example, some people reflexively jump to defend perpetrators of violence because they empathize with them more than the victims. Cognitive perspective taking, on its own, isn’t enough for being a good helper. In fact, many people use their perspective taking ability to cheat, swindle, or manipulate for selfish gain. For example, con artists and snake oil salesmen often prey on people’s fears and insecurities to turn a profit. Thus, treat emotional empathy and cognitive perspective taking as equally important but separate abilities.

2. Relationship Building Skills

While empathy is useful for building moral character and perspective taking is useful for constructing an accurate theory of mind, the key to helping is learning how to apply these concepts within the context of relationships. You may feel deep empathy but fail to help. For example, you just freeze up like a deer in headlights once you see someone crying and sobbing in front of you. You may have an accurate theory of mind but still approach the situation the wrong way. For example, you correctly pinpointed your toddler’s fear of large crowds, but your paternalistic approach is to throw them into the middle of a huge crowd and force them to deal alone.

To avoid these kinds of problems, you should always approach helping as a collaboration. Collaboration means that two people put their minds together for a shared purpose. To collaborate well with someone requires two things:

i) Trust: Trusting someone means that you believe they have your best interests at heart. To trust is to have an open heart, which means that you give people the benefit of the doubt. Trust is very important when you’re trying to give advice. If someone trusts you and gives you the benefit of the doubt, they are better able to understand your intention even if you say the wrong thing or offer unhelpful advice. Trust helps to quickly smooth over misunderstandings or miscommunications by reminding us that people are good and mean well.

ii) Rapport: Positive rapport means that two people are able to communicate comfortably because they care about each other as well as speak freely because they do not have undue fear of judgment or punishment. Good rapport puts everyone at ease, which helps to maintain an open mind. Rapport is very important when you’re trying to give advice. If you have positive rapport with someone, they will be more open to entertaining new ideas and solutions. Positive rapport makes problem solving a more easygoing and even enjoyable process.

Needless to say, if you don’t have someone’s best interests at heart, then you should stay out of their business until you do. Helping someone should ultimately come from a place of care. Different people have different trust thresholds (often due to past trauma), so you may have to work harder to earn some people’s trust than others. To earn trust means to prove to someone that you care about them and can be relied upon. This generally involves being attentive to their needs, offering support when needed, honoring your relationship duties and responsibilities, and keeping your promises.

Needless to say, if someone doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you, then you shouldn’t try to force them. Make an honest judgment about whether you’re the best person to help them or not. If you’re not the one, you can still offer help, but don’t get offended if they don’t take you up on it. Different people have different conditions to be met before they feel comfortable enough to share their private business, so you may have to work harder to develop rapport with some people than others. Positive rapport is basically good communication, so work on your communication skills as needed.

Learn the sorts of words and behaviors that help put people at ease. Learn to listen intently, patiently, and empathetically. Learn to pause and ask the right questions when you don’t understand. Learn to offer feedback in a kind and constructive way. Learn to be less judgmental, impatient, or critical, i.e., the kinds of traits that cause conflict, distance, and fear in relationships. Learn to avoid prejudice and mindreading, i.e., the kinds of behaviors that cause harmful and gross misunderstandings between people.

3. The Helping Process

Once you’ve used your empathy and perspective taking skills to establish a good foundation of trust and positive rapport with someone, then you are well-positioned to help them. Always remember that human affairs are an art - not a science. Humans are complex and each one of us unique. There’s no “methodology” that you can follow perfectly to handle every relationship perfectly. A big part of being successful at relationships is simply to be adaptable. Observe and listen more carefully so that you know when it’s time to change your approach.

That said, there are some general guidelines that will help steer you in the right direction whenever you feel lost. Professional counselors are specifically trained to help people with their problems, so there’s a lot we can learn from their training process. I will summarize and adapt a commonly used three stage model of helping that anyone can apply to their relationships:

Stage 1: Gather the Facts

The person experiencing the problem is the one who knows it best. Therefore, the first step isn’t to panic about “what should I do”, rather, always start by getting them to elaborate, in as much detail as possible, so that you understand the situation fully from their point of view. Ask several open-ended questions to give them the opportunity to freely describe the situation, what happened, what may be causing the problem, how they feel about it, what they have or haven’t done about it, etc. After hearing them out, summarize the situation in your own words and ask them to confirm whether you’ve understood everything. The key skills needed in this stage are curiosity, listening, and verifying.

Stage 2: Encourage Awareness and Insight

Oftentimes, people aren’t able to tackle a problem on their own because they don’t know exactly what the problem is - look into their mind and you will see a giant mess. Giving them a chance to express their thoughts and feelings out loud is sometimes enough for them to understand the problem and come up with their own solutions. You should always encourage people to think for themselves whenever they show the tendency, because ideas always stick better when they come from oneself. This also addresses the problem of people becoming too dependent on you. Ideally, the goal of any good helper is to eventually make themselves obsolete, by teaching people to stand on their own.

If after elaboration, you’re still not clear about what they need, then be more direct in getting that information, usually through making more direct inquiries. What you do at this point really depends on the situation and the kind of problem you’re dealing with. It may be enough to ask them whether there’s anything you can do to help and, if so, what would be the best way to help. They might say that they’re not looking for a “fix” but simply want someone to listen, then step back and listen with empathy. You may ask them point blank what exactly it is they need or want. You may ask them what they hope or wish for. You may ask them about what objectives or goals they’re aiming for. You may ask them about the obstacles and challenges they’re experiencing. You may ask them whether they would like your help in analyzing the problem.

Don’t make assumptions about what they need when they haven’t even expressed their needs, which means that you should NOT be stepping forward with a “solution” until you’re absolutely sure that it’s what they want. The key skills needed in this stage are providing emotional safety, encouraging people to reflect more deeply, and inquiring into psychological motivations.

Stage 3: Implement Action

This step is only relevant if they are committed to solving the problem and want your help with it. Collaborate with them to analyze the problem by determining its cause(s), entertain various ideas and solutions, and make a list of all the choices available to them. Help them evaluate their list of choices by illuminating the possible effects/outcomes, pros/cons, or cost/benefits. This will allow them to make a more informed and intelligent choice.

Remember that they are ultimately responsible for choosing what to do - not you. Even the best advice will fall flat if the person doesn’t feel like they can carry it out. THEY have to feel comfortable enough with the choice to put it into action. This means that you must always have an eye on their comfort level. When someone expresses any kind of uncertainty about whether they can implement a solution, it is often a subtle request for more/better support. If that’s the case, go back to stages 1 and 2 to dig deeper into what’s holding them back. It may be an internal or external obstacle, and once you’ve identified it, you can help them remove it.

To implement an idea usually requires coming up with a practical plan, strategy, or method of attack, so help them draw a feasible roadmap. Set up concrete measurements or benchmarks to measure progress or success. Sometimes, they may need your help to break a big plan down into smaller steps in order to avoid feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Sometimes, they may need you to educate, guide, or mentor them to learn new knowledge for overcoming a particular challenge or obstacle. Remember that what seems easy to you may be very difficult to them, so don’t make assumptions about their capabilities. Monitor their progress and offer the appropriate support whenever you observe that they are faltering. The key skills needed in this stage are brainstorming, critical analysis, planning and organizing, quantifying progress, encouraging people to improve, knowledge building, and providing emotional support as necessary.

4. Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries

It’s very important that you maintain proper boundaries when helping people. You are not a professional counselor and, even if you are, there should always be a sense of equality and reciprocity in personal relationships. A healthy relationship cannot be one-sided, unequal, or exploitative.

Respect Your Boundaries: You must have your boundaries to protect yourself from exploitation. There are many people out there who have no qualms about taking advantage of kindness, so don’t allow such people to worm their way into your life. Only get involved when someone genuinely needs your help and you are quite confident that they will benefit from it. Remember that helping should ultimately set people up to be independent. If you keep people dependent on you, then there’s some ego problem that needs to be addressed on your part.

Respect Their Boundaries: Remember that everyone has their own life to live. Honor and appreciate individual differences. You may enjoy helping people and that’s fine, but there must be an element of selflessness in your help, so that you don’t get too invested in what other people do/don’t do. Once you start to place unreasonable expectations on people, you get yourself all mixed up into their problem, and then you start to show visible frustration, impatience, or disappointment. Then they might start to fear disappointing you and hide from you, they might start resisting your advice, or your help might even backfire spectacularly. In other words, your “help” just complicates and even worsens situations when you can’t properly respect people’s right to make their own choices in life.

To set proper boundaries circles back to the first point of having good emotional intelligence. You have to be aware of your part in the situation, the effects that you’re feeling, the effects that you’re producing, and monitor for negative feelings and emotions that would lead you to do something regrettable or harmful. Having good emotional intelligence is very important for good decision making in relationships and even life in general. I’ve already provided articles and book suggestions for learning in depth.

#helping #emotional needs #needs #emotional intelligence #empathy #compassion #boundaries #trust #rapport #communication #perspective taking #ask

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idyoma · 3 years

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The Best Ways to Learn a New Language

Some of the Best Ways to Learn a New Language

My name is Tamara and I have always been interested in languages, how people communicate and how we can interact even more by learning new languages. I was able to take an international exchange program in 2019 and I started taking this interest to a new level by learning and interacting with friends and people that I was lucky to get to know.

I continue studying and trying to learn from home and this is what inspired me to write this article to help more people achieve their language goals and share some of my favourite ways to learn a new language.

People often recognize that being multilingual is associated with career benefits, but did you know that language learning can also enhance your cognitive health? Too often, people graduate from school and leave foreign languages behind in the classroom. Yet, there are some surprising advantages to tackling language learning later in life, too.

As you learn a new language, you build up your communication skills, supercharge your brain with heightened activity in its language centers, and possibly even open yourself up to new work and travel experiences.

Fortunately, today’s language learners have a wide range of instruction options, like Idyoma, that don’t tether them to a traditional classroom. Finding time to learn a new language outside the home can be difficult for people with full-time jobs and busy households. By learning a new language at home, you can adopt an instruction schedule that suits your time frame — and you can fit in practice when it’s most convenient for you. As you decide whether to embrace ESL or learn Japanese, Spanish, or French, keep the following information in mind to help you create a learning dynamic at home that supports your learning style.

Best Ways to Learn a New Language

Benefits of being mulitlingual

Setting up your learning space

Top 10 tips for learning fast

Tips for teaching kids a second language

Why You Should Learn a New Language: The Benefits of Being Multilingual

Although there are many new pastimes one might embrace — knitting or gardening, web design or data science — to fill time, learning a new language is both enjoyable and professionally useful. Today, the career marketplace is highly global.

Bilingualism and multilingualism can catapult your resume to the top of an employer’s list, especially if the company is international and relies on its multilingual staff to communicate across borders. Learning Korean or German can open up an entire range of job opportunities that you may never have thought of before.

Of course, there are other benefits of learning a new language, too. Language learning actually enhances your mental health. As we age, our cognitive function can diminish just as our physical health can. But, language learning can reduce that cognitive decline, slowing its process as you forge new neural pathways.

When you learn a new language you can boost your ability to focus, keeping our minds alert and agile. Many people who engage in language learning report that the time they engage in the study actually improves their mood. As you focus on the enjoyment and challenge of your lessons, you’ll focus less on the stress of all things left undone, giving your mind the opportunity to recharge and rejuvenate from your usual anxieties and inner chatter.

Finally, you might opt to learn a new language so that you’ll be prepared to get out into the world and explore. Being multilingual makes you a more skillful traveler, building confidence and helping you navigate new, far-flung places for a grand travel experience. And learning a new language improves your communication skills — a core interpersonal and professional talent that’ll get you far in relationships, in business, and beyond.

How to Set up the Ultimate Learning Space

Of course, before you start pricing hotels in Barcelona or Paris, you’ll need to begin language instruction. But before you hire a language tutor or sign up for an online class, prepare your learning space at home so that you have everything you need to support your learning goals conveniently in one area. If you have a home office, you can enlist that space to learn, but you don’t have to dedicate an entire room to your new initiative. A special niche in your bedroom, kitchen, or family room will also suffice.

As you set up your language study area, you’ll want to ensure that it’s both quiet and comfortable. Distractions will prevent you from learning effectively. Opt for a space with good acoustics, since you’ll be doing a lot of language listening. Good lighting is important since you’ll be doing a lot of reading and writing. A desk or small table and comfortable chair are essential furnishings for your study area — but why not take your language learning space to an even more exciting level?

Whether you’ve opted to learn Hungarian or Turkish, why not set up your space with some international flair for inspiration? Add some travel posters to your wall, and keep a globe handy. Incorporate the spirit of your Spanish independent study with a Mexican blanket slung on your chair, or enhance your study of Chinese with some picturesque paper lanterns hung near your window. By creating a fun language learning space, you’ll have a special space with a retreat-like atmosphere that may very easily become your favorite place in the house.

Top 10 Hacks to Learn a New Language

Once your study space is ready and you know what language you want to learn, it’s time to get down to business. Consider all the various applications available for learning a language at home. The following hacks will help you transform yourself into a multilingual virtuoso — or close to it! Keep them in mind as you develop your language learning goals and make your plan.

Enroll in an online course

Formal instruction is a good option for individuals who prefer to learn a new language with a more-or-less traditional dynamic. If you’re concerned that independent study isn’t conducive to your learning style, consider this tried-and-true learning route. A formal course features highly structured lesson plans, assignment deadlines, and interaction with a teacher and classmates, albeit virtually.

Download the app

You’ve probably seen the advertisements online for any number of language learning apps. Less formal than an online course, these apps still offer learners a rich level of instruction designed to help them progress at a clip. Apps are ideal for independent learners who don’t have time to meet consistently for an online class.

Update your library card

Your local library system will have a wealth of materials to enhance your language-learning experience. Plan to borrow language dictionaries and picture books, novels, and even films in the language you’re learning so you can read, watch, and practice your listening skills. Check out materials in person or reserve them online and pick them up at your convenience.

Quality earbuds, headphones, or speakers

When you’re learning to speak a new language, you need to be able to hear your learning materials clearly. A speaker that crackles or earbuds that cut in and out will compromise your learning experience. Plan to invest in quality listening devices so that you can hear instructors or your language learning app with crystal clarity.

Use flashcards

Flashcards work for kids, and they will still work for you, too. In fact, if you have kids, you might want to enlist their help — invite them to quiz you on your German verbs after you quiz them on their multiplication facts. You can also find flashcard apps for literally any language you want to learn.

Hire a language tutor

There comes a point when you might hit a stumbling block or a series of obstacles while learning a new language. Don’t despair! Check with area colleges, and engage a language tutor. This can be especially helpful if you’ve never learned a foreign language before or you want to stay on track and pick up speed as you move from beginner-level learning to the more complex, intermediate stages.

Find a learning partner

Convince your bestie, spouse, partner, or friend to consider learning a language with you. When you have a partner, you can keep each other motivated and take turns studying at one another’s homes. Of course, ideally, you’ll want to find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about learning Russian or Portuguese as you are, so choose your language learning pal wisely.

Listen to native speakers

One of the complaints that many students of languages have is that classroom and app models are too formal and not the stuff of everyday language you’ll hear on the streets of Rio, or Naples. Use your devices to track down native language speakers — like watching and listening to videos on the internet. This is particularly helpful if you plan to travel to the country whose language you’re learning.

Be kind and patient with yourself

Too often, people abandon their language pursuits because life interrupts them, and they find it difficult to resume their studies. Keep in mind that it’s okay to learn at your own speed and tempo. It may be asking too much of yourself to learn Italian in six months. If you need to adjust your goals, do it! The key is to keep going — and don’t be afraid to revisit old lessons when you need a refresher.

Immerse yourself in culture

Language learning may seem tedious at times, especially if you’re struggling with tenses or complex sentence structures.

Maintain your motivation to keep learning by immersing yourself in the culture of the language. Learning Greek? Invite your best friend to a luncheon at your favorite Greek restaurant. Learning Spanish? Set Saturday nights aside for a tapas feasting! You’ll find that cultural immersion boosts your learning — and enriches your life.

Tips to Teach Kids a Second Language

Speak It

If you speak a second or third language and you want your children to learn it, the first step is to speak it with them. Children learn through repetition. Consistency is necessary to develop a habit, so the more your kids listen to you speaking in another language, the easier it will be for them to grasp it.

Music

Just like for an adult, listening to music in a different language is one of the best tips to follow when trying to learn a new language. For both children and adults, starting with kid’s songs with easy and basic words can work best.

Audiobooks

For bedtime or nap time, you could aid yourself by using audiobooks. Following a story with the help of native speakers can work wonders for children to learn different intonations, accents, and vocabulary while also entertaining them.

Have fun

Doing fun activities in the language you are trying to teach your kids is another great way to help them grasp the language. If you grew up in another country, do you remember what activities you enjoyed when you were a child? You can plan a fun afternoon with games from your home country to do with your children. If this is not the case and you are just trying to teach your child to learn a new language, games with new vocabulary are always the best bet.

Video

Another good idea is to let them watch tv or movies in another language. Not only tv shows where they interact with the audience work, standard format movies, cartoons, and shows can help you at home, they don’t need to spend hours in front of a screen. This is only to aid you in the repetition, consistency, and the develop a habit side of the process. Remember it is important that they have access to other intonations, accents, and vocabulary for them to acquire the language faster.

Space to Learn

You can set up a special space for them to study. If they are being homeschooled, they would probably already have a designated space for their study work but if not, you can choose a corner in the kitchen, your home office, or their playroom for this purpose.

Things to add to their study space:

Get them a small table or desk their size with chairs.

Set up a whiteboard on the wall with markers for them to write down vocabulary words or to draw.

Corkboards are great to stick images and vocabulary words to.

Shelves for their storybooks and dictionaries.

Be sure to have good light.

Add color. Remember children’s classrooms are always colorful, this makes them feel in a fun and exciting environment. Bright colors stimulate the brain and can help children retain information.

Add storage. If you want to avoid clutter, add boxes or drawers for them to keep things they work with.

When is the best time to learn a language?

When young, human beings acquire new languages, they don’t actually learn them, so you could say the best age to learn a second language is as a young child.

But even if it’s easier to learn languages as a kid, don’t get discouraged. Remember that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. It’s scientifically proven that learning a language as an adult can also have its advantages. As adults, we can follow and understand grammar rules, so learning in a more technical way is easier for adults than for children.

Learning a new language enhances your life in numerous ways while providing you with a marketable skill. As you learn a new language, you’ll develop new communication skills, keep your brain agile, and even discover new writers and artists to read and enjoy as you encounter them in your studies.

Before you know it, you’ll be fluent in the language of your choosing, and who knows where you could go from there?

Written by Tamara Segal

#best ways to learn a new language #new language #tips to learn a new language

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the-blind-assassin-12 · 3 years

Text

Hokan’yc

A RESOL’NARE FLASHBACK ONE SHOT

A/N: This is long overdue and something I started working on WEEKS ago when @darkmist111 asked a question regarding Din and Navina’s former relationships. I mentioned a girl named Aashi that Din fell for when he was still a teenaged mando learning how to become a warrior and decided that I needed to tell their story so we know what happened and why he’s flying solo now. This is CHOCK-FULL of my personal thoughts on what training in the covert would be like so forgive me if my HCs contradict canon and please enjoy some young mandos in love.

*this story will regularly be using words in Mando’a. for a good list of references click here.*

Warning: violence, death, injury- they are Mandalorians you guys, This is the Way and all that jazz.

Word Count: 6k

-- -- -- --

He noticed right away.

The others did, too. They always did. It was an increasingly rare occurrence as they got older. The youngest in the covert were far more used to the sudden appearance of a new student among their numbers. Whether they’d been born a member of The Tribe or taken in as a foundling like he had, all children began combat training after their 8th birthday, so the addition of a new face- or more accurately an unfamiliar helmet- in class was anticipated, expected. But by the time they’d advanced through mid level and into the final years of their required training, newcomers were few and far between.

And they stood out. Hushed whispers of buyca circulated through the room, heads tilting in the direction of the only helmet not decorated with dings and dents.

The Instructor’s gloved hands came together in two thunderous claps to signal the start of the day’s training, the chatter in the dimly lit sparring hall dissipating as the upper level class fell in line for drills. There were no assigned rankings, the students simply using height order to determine who stood where, the tallest in the last of four rows. Third row had been his designation for years, never quite the largest or most formidable in the room. But the new addition had crowded the second row by one, the overflow meaning that he would need to step back.

Fourth row, finally, thanks to the shiny buyca.

He was welcomed to the ranks of the teenaged giants with a rough elbow from Hast, the blunt jab to the ribs serving both as a kind of jovial congratulations for moving up in the world as well as a reminder that he was still the smallest of the giants. Before he could return the gesture with a thump or smack of his own though, the Instructor's booming voice silenced both of the boys’ grunts and laughter.

“Hast! Djarin!” He flinched behind his visor and knew the broad shouldered hulk beside him did, too. Though he didn’t need to, both of them already aware of what they were in for, the Instructor pointed at the front of the room, indicating that they should join him there. “Looks like you’ve volunteered to be my demonstration assistants for today’s technique.” Dank farrik.

As he and his friend reached the front of the hall, feeling the stares of the rest of the class and knowing that under their helmets they were all biting the insides of their cheeks to keep from laughing at the misfortune the two had found themselves in, he prepared himself for a rough three hours. They’d worked on a single combat series that started with a sweep from the standing position and progressed to the ground, working on maintaining control during a fight before ending in a leg attack that when applied at full force was developed to disable the knee joint completely. Both volunteers had taken fall after fall, their limbs manipulated over and over as the Instructor demonstrated and the students got their practice in. While they were only applying light pressure as they torqued and twisted and pulled on the two volunteers’ legs, the two were left sore and aching from the repetition of the series.

If the reps and demonstrations weren’t enough, the half hour of sparring rounds afterwards certainly was.

Despite the over-torqued joints, fatigued muscles and sore spots from tight grips and unexpectedly harsh contact with the ground, he held his own for the first four rounds grappling almost as he did at full capacity. Vizsla was twice his size and always got the best of him, though still no more than usual. Hast had it just as rough as he did that day, so neither of them completed a submission during their round. He managed to sweep and submit Gralin, which was actually an improvement on their last match up, and he and Kevaz had each pulled off a submission within the allotted time of the round. Trying to control his breathing in the quick respite allowed between friendly simulated warfare, he hoped that there was still some herbal salve left in the jar back in his quarters. I’m going to need it.

His final round turned out to be the one that did him in. And it was against her- the buyca.

He, like all Mandalorians, knew that it didn’t matter if a warrior was male or female, large or small. It didn’t matter if they were quick or strong. What mattered was how well they could use the attributes and skills that they did have to defeat their opponent. He, like all Mandalorians, knew that underestimating your enemy before the fight begins is the first step in losing that fight. That’s not what he did with her, though the outcome was still the same.

The last thing he noticed as he squared off facing the newcomer, was the fact that even though she had also just finished three hours of drills and four rounds prior to that one, her helmet was still completely undented. It wasn’t even smudged. Has she even hit the ground? Mere seconds into the round he was on his back and he didn’t know how he’d gotten there, but she hadn’t let up, taking full advantage of his disorientation and finishing a very basic but extremely efficient shoulder attack. The rest of the round had been more of the same, though he was able to at least fend off any more completed submissions. By the time the Instructor called for the end of the day’s training, he was spent. But she seemed only mildly inconvenienced from the hours of physical exertion they had all just endured.

He decided right away that he had to learn what she knew.

Able to walk with far more ease than he could at the moment though, she was out of the sparring hall and heading towards the system of tunnels leading to the living quarters. Sighing, he waved off Hast and Vizsla’s attempts to get his attention, and gritting his teeth, hobbled as quickly as he could after her. “Hey,” he huffed, raising one hand in her direction even though she was facing the other way.

She slowed her pace to allow him to gain some ground, though she didn’t turn or stop. “Hey,” she responded almost questioningly, tone a mixture of uncertainty and amusement.

“I… you fight well.” He clenched his eyes shut and dropped his chin. You fight well? Di'kut.

That did make her stop, but only until he was immediately to her left, starting up again once he had a fair chance at keeping stride with her. Releasing a breath that sounded like a laugh, she nodded. “I know I do, but thanks.”

“I meant… your technique. It’s-” He tried to recall how she’d upended him so quickly, where she’d made her grips, the placement of her weight, but it was a blur. He shook his head. “I’ve never seen it. Not even in class.” So how do you know it? That was what he wanted to ask. How does a foundling know how to fight like that?

As though in answer to his unasked questions, she turned her head to face him. “We learned differently on Concordia.”

He blinked, the mention of Mandalore’s moon stopping him in his tracks. What? Of course it made sense now that she wasn’t new to Mandalorian culture. On the contrary, she’d been more heavily steeped in it than any of them. But I thought… Oh. It clicked then, that the buyca wasn’t that at all, not if she was raised on Concordia.

“When things… when we had to leave, my family came here.” She gestured at the walls of the tunnel they were walking through. “Dantooine is the only Mandalorian covert they knew of, so we joined our brothers and sisters here.” Turning back in the direction that they were walking, she nodded. “This is the Way.”

There was pain and heaviness in those words as she spoke them, but he knew that was true no matter who they came from. “This is the Way,” he responded.

She cleared her throat. “Right. So now that you know I’m no foundling, you don’t have to feel so bad for what happened back there.” She jabbed a thumb backwards towards the sparring hall.

He tried to shake his head but a sudden pinching sensation shot down his neck in protest so he aborted the motion. “No, that’s not what I-”

“No?” She stopped near the split of the tunnel where one branch led to the mess hall and the healing wing and the other to the collection of carved out spaces each occupied by Mandalorian families. He stopped as well, thankful for the chance to rest. She crossed her arms over her chest and stuck one hip out. “Then what did you chase me down for exactly?”

“I told you.” He was slightly confused by her question. “The technique that you used against me. I’ve never seen it before.”

She regarded him silently for a beat. “No, you haven’t.” She began walking again. “That was pretty clear from how quickly I had you down.” The smirk, or what he imagined might be one, was back in her voice.

He followed, trying and failing to hide the slight limp the day’s training had left him with. “Well can you-“ He stopped short to avoid crashing into her as she spun around again , the unexpected shift in his weight causing him to wince behind his visor.

Hands on her hips, she tilted her head, the dim light from one of the torches hitting the still undented, unmarred surface of her helmet at an angle that threw light around the dark hall. “Can I what?”

“Can you teach it to me?”

A small snort of laughter came from her, shoulders bouncing as she shook her head. “Didn’t you take enough of a beating for one day?”

He shrugged. “The Instructor says we don’t learn if we don’t lose. This is the Way.”

Mandalorians were taught not to fear or resent loss. Not in life and not on the battlefield. Though victory was the goal of every Mando’ade who engaged in combat, in sparring, losing was viewed as an equally valued outcome. Every loss came with the opportunity to learn. To adapt. Each opponent is a teacher and the true winner is the one who leaves the training hall with more knowledge and sharper skills than those they came in with. He was only trying to adhere to what he’d been taught, only trying to become the best warrior that he could be.

She nodded slowly, the motion giving over to a head shake instead as she let out a burst of air. “This is the Way.” She agreed, taking a step towards him. “But,” she placed her hand on his shoulder and he was glad she couldn’t see the slight wince the light contact forced across his face. “No.”

He cocked his head to the side, taken aback, the jerky motion sending a sharp pang of soreness through his neck and down his left flank. Damn that- but he ignored the twinge and focused on her refusal. “Why not?”

He knew that she was new to their covert, but the unspoken rule in the training hall was that all trainees had something to teach each other. It had to have been like that on Concordia, too. It was more than a rule, it was a responsibility, a duty to ensure that every member of the fighting corps was as well prepared as they could be. It was important to learn not only to trust but to depend on each other in battle, in the field. They were training to join the ranks of the elite within the corps, which meant that being anything shy of lethal would be considered unprepared. I know she’s new but she-

“Because,” she laughed, the lilting sound making him snap his attention to her hidden face. “It’s Djarin, right?” He confirmed with a nod. “Well, Djarin, I can’t teach it to you now, because you’re already in rough shape and I don’t want to explain to the Instructor next class why his best training dummy is all torn to shreds.” She was teasing, he could tell, her hand still on his shoulder as she gave it a light squeeze, and despite only having known her for a few hours during which she and the rest of the trainees had taken turns trying to rip him and Hast limb from limb under the Instructor’s tutelage, he thought she might be smiling. “But,” she went on. “I’ll give you a few days to heal up and then,” she nodded and dropped her hand from his body. “Then I’ll teach it to you.”

-- -- -- -- --

A few days later, the two of them agreed to meet in the sparring hall on a rare day off from drills, the sound of his body hitting the ground echoing in the nearly empty space each time she swept him. His grunts, every time she planted her foot on his hip filled the room, the clatter of his helmet scraping against the stone beneath him as she dragged him down and extended the leg she had planted to flip him over her head, the sound of their gloved palms smacking together as she offered him a hand back to his feet after a particularly harsh sweep. But each time she sent him off his balance, he picked up another detail of the technique, piecing them all together to understand the motion.

He could feel the bruises forming each time he hit the ground, and he knew that later that night when he got undressed to wash up, just like the day he’d met her, his hip and the side of his thigh would be covered in purple-blue splotches. Planting his hand firmly behind him, he let out a breath and pushed himself back to his feet. “One more.” His eyebrows came together in concentration beneath his helmet. “I think I have it now.”

She tilted her head, arms crossed over her chest. “You don’t quit, I’ll give you that.”

“No,” he shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

On the next try, he got the jump on her, accurately making his grips and bracing the sole of his boot in the crease of her hip. Dropping his weight in a sacrifice style throw, he extended his leg like she’d shown him, finally getting the timing right to send her flipping over his head and onto her back. Following her momentum and keeping his grips, he rolled backwards over his shoulder to come up in a mounted controlled position. That was it. I- She coughed out a wheeze, the air clearly knocked from her lungs. Oh, dank farrik I-

But before he could concern himself with whether or not he’d inadvertently hurt her, she grabbed his ankle, trapped one of his arms and with a bump of her hips, rolled them both over to reverse the position so she had the upper hand once more. “Nice work, Djarin.” She released his arm and ankle and stood. “But don’t forget to maintain control once you have it.”

She was right. He knew that. The Instructor had been drilling it into his and all of their heads since they were eight years old. If he caught me losing control that fast he’d make me regret it. He sighed. “Right.”

“That was,” he looked up at her as he got to his feet. “That was really good, though. Do it again.”

-- -- -- -- --

By the end of the month he was hitting the move against Kevaz and Gralin during live rounds. He’d also learned the buyca’s clan name was Zurn, and that she was an excellent training partner for him. In two on two drills, they teamed up against Hast and Vizsla, their individual attributes complementing each other’s well. Their extra time spent drilling together had allowed them to develop good non-verbal communication skills, and they learned to read each other well.

By the end of the year even the Instructor had noticed, and he recommended that the pair complete their final stage of the elite training program together. It was customary for recruits to team up for the last tests of their abilities as the missions that would determine whether or not Mandalorians were worthy and capable of the duties that they would be expected to perform. Protecting the Tribe. Striking first against known enemies. Reconnaissance. Responding immediately to threats. They were responsibilities that the man who raised him had taken upon his shoulders- a deeper level of the Creed that was sworn by all Mandalorians. This is the Way.

His buir had given his life in that line of duty only a few years prior, when the young Mandalorian was thirteen and had just finished his mandatory training. He had mourned in the moment, as was appropriate, but he, like all in his Tribe knew that his father was not gone. He had joined the Manda and would always be a part of the collective soul that each Mando’ade shared. His choice to follow those footsteps was a choice he made to honor the man. Had he not been a member of the elite fighting corp, he would not have been there to rescue the scared boy in the bunker, and that scared boy in the bunker might not have made it out.

That boy was no longer a boy nor was he scared. He and Zurn accepted the recommendation, and one year and two months to the day that they had first met, the two of them were sent out on their first overnight mission: staking out a rebel base on the planet that had been attracting a lot of traffic to Dantooine. The covert’s main goal was staying safe, secret and hidden from the Empire. But the increase of rebel activity wouldn’t go unnoticed for long, and the Tribe needed a clearer picture as to what they were facing, and if they needed to consider relocating the covert. He’d heard whispers that Nevarro, another planet in the Outer Rim, was the selected backup, but he, like everyone who heard those rumors, hoped that that’s all they would stay.

They were camped out behind a large outcropping of rock, completely concealed from view of the base in the dark of the night. They had spent the day charting a lay of the area and choosing a position that would keep them hidden until the morning, when they could hopefully get an idea of the goings on at the rebel encampment. He leaned against the cool rock, chin tilted upwards. The fire had burned down to just the embers, still providing enough warmth to get them to sunrise, but dim enough now to see the night sky and everything in it with no interference from the flames. Once he finished his training and had a real helmet, he would be able to change the filter on the visor to block out any amount of light he wanted. But for now he had to wait.

And he had been waiting. The last time I saw the sky at night I was-

He froze, a sudden weight falling into his right hand where it lay open on the dry ground. That’s… His eyes widened as he registered what it was, her fingers curling into his palm. She isn’t...

He was still wearing his gloves, but she had taken hers off to warm her hands by the fire. She hadn’t put them back on. He could feel the difference even through the worn leather, and it caught him completely off guard.

“Six,” he blurted, immediately cursing himself the second the syllable was out.

But instead of laughing or teasing him, the way she always had in sparring, he felt her grip tighten as she moved closer. “Six what?”

I… what do I say? Should I- He tilted his head down, watching his fingers close around hers as though they were acting of their own volition. Dank farrik, why did I just-

“Djarin?” He snapped his attention back up to see that she had turned, resting the side of her helmet against the boulder so she could look at him as she spoke. “You said six.” He sighed and nodded. I did. “Six what?”

He wasn’t sure if anyone aside from his buir knew this fact about him, the man gone and this fact with him. Why would anyone care? It doesn’t matter. But instead of ignoring the non contextual number slipping out, she had asked him what it meant. Which meant that it mattered to her. He realized in that moment that there was no one else he felt comfortable enough around to let his guard down and enjoy the stars or think about how long it’s been since he’d seen them. It was only because he trusted her that he had allowed his mind to wander into memories, that he was relaxed enough to even make the slip and say something he hadn’t meant to. He realized that he actually wanted to tell her. It shouldn’t matter but it… it does.

His right hand was still occupied with hers, so he pointed with his left at the endless, swirling silver pricks of light poking through the thick velvety blue black sky. “Ca'tra.” She followed his direction and trained her gaze upwards. “I haven’t seen the stars since I was six.”

Dropping his arm back into his lap, he felt her thumb swipe across the top of his glove. She was still touching only fabric, her thumbnail snagging on a loose stitch near the opening. But she was so close to making skin to skin contact that if he so much as sneezed she would leave her thumbprint on his pulse point. If that happened she’d feel it racing.

“Me’ven?” She whispered her disbelief, swiveling her head over to look at him. Yes, really.

None of the children ever left the covert at night. It was dangerous, they were told, because outside the halls of their underground home, there were people who would capture them, hunt them simply for being what they are- Mandalorians. That was one of the many reasons that their education revolved so heavily around weapons and combat; so they would be ready to defend themselves and others when, not if, they needed to. She and her family had come to the covert later on in her training, and things had been different where she was from, so she had no real frame of reference for what it was like to give up the stars, grow up without them. For the ones born here, they don’t… they don’t even know what they’re missing.

He took a breath, readying himself to explain. Before he could, the fire cracked as the flames found a pocket of moisture or an unlucky beetle in the wood, spitting a few red hot embers towards the pair of trainees. Without thinking, he pulled her out of the way and nearly on top of himself, one of her legs falling between his knees. He heard her surprised gasp as she caught herself, reaching for his shoulder to prevent their foreheads from colliding. His left arm curved awkwardly around her shoulders as he moved them both further from the fire and out of range of any more stray embers.

As he shifted, her fingers did too, sliding from his shoulder to his neck- to the narrow sliver of his throat that was visible between his collar and his helmet. To the place where his blood ran quick and hot beneath his skin at how close they were. He swallowed, knowing she would feel the movement of his muscles beneath her touch, unable to help the way he had reacted.

He still had her hand in his, was still holding her closer than he’d ever held anyone. Say something. “Sorry, I… the fire was-“

“Djarin?” She hadn’t taken her hand away, her fingers curling around to the back of his neck.

“Y-Yeah?” He cursed himself for the waver in his voice. Another reason to look forward to the helmet he’d receive upon the completion of his training was the modulator in the speaker component. It served multiple purposes. To further disguise a Mandalorian’s identity by modifying their voice, yes, but also to cover any vocal slips of emotion or signs of weakness. Though if he was being honest with himself he wasn’t even sure if the device would be enough to hide the effect she was having on him.

It didn’t matter though. Nothing did as she slipped her fingers into the wavy curls that stuck out from beneath his helmet at the base of his skull and he thought that every last star in the galaxy could burst, the entire sky exploding at once, and it wouldn’t take his attention from that feeling.

She… she’s… His mind was working as hard to form a thought as his lungs were to keep his breathing even. Both were failing.

“I’m glad you got to see the sky tonight.” She made no move to get off of him, and he tried to stay as still as the stone they’d been leaning against, unwilling to allow his own anxious movement to be the thing that chased her away yet unsure of what to do next.

He gave a small nod, keeping space between them so he wouldn’t knock her helmet with his own. “Yeah,” he let out a careful breath, trying not to let it shake as her light touch continued to ignite his skin. “Me too.”

Her fingers spread wide against the back of his neck, pinky dipping daringly under his collar, and suddenly he felt himself tighten the arm he had around her, his hand curving over her shoulder. This… if she doesn’t want this she’ll- He focused on the horizontal slit of her visor, his heart beating behind his eyes as he found himself wondering what color hers were, and what they would look like if he could see her now, what she’d look like, wanting this.

Wanting me.

She tilted her head down, a tiny motion that he might not have even noticed if not for the way the firelight flickered in the reflection of her helmet. “And I’m,” she paused and he felt her shoulders and back expanded under his arm as she took a breath. “I’m glad I got to see it with you, Djarin.”

“Din.” Like the number six, his name leapt from his tongue before he could pull it back, and its release into the world left him feeling almost dizzy. That’s- I just...I shouldn’t have- He felt her freeze and stiffen, heard her shocked gasp, and knew he’d made a mistake. I shouldn’t have told her. She doesn’t...we’re- we aren’t-

“You...did you just-” She brought the hand that was still twined with his up between their bodies, resting them both against his chestplate. Something in the weight of them and the way they looked covering the carved ironheart symbol in the center, made him wonder if maybe it wasn’t a mistake. She’s still… she hasn’t moved. She didn’t get up or… The fingers of her other hand curled around the back of his neck, gripping him more tightly. “Djarin, is that your-”

“Yes.” He watched their hands rise on his chest as he took a deep breath, then glanced up at the place where he wished he could meet her eyes, finding only the smoky lens of her training visor. “My name.” Wished he had followed her lead and shed his gloves too, he ran his thumb along hers, pressing down. “It’s-”

“Din.” She whispered it back to him. Though the times he had heard his given name since swearing the Creed had been few, he knew that it had never sounded like that. Before he could fully appreciate the charged, electrified way that it made him feel, she was sending another jolt through his chest as she spoke again, lowering her forehead even closer to his. “Aashi.”

That’s her...She told me her n- He moved the hand he had on her shoulder to her back, flattening his palm over her spine as the charge ran through his bloodstream. Gulping down another breath, all attempts at keeping his reaction from her discarded, he pressed her closer. “Aashi.”

Until that moment he’d only known her by her house name, Zurn, and the clan signet that she’d painted on the dented steel plate that covered her left thigh. Two daggers. He never thought that the symbol fit her. It was perfect for her Buir, the woman more than proficient with blades. But she- Aashi, his heart flipped in place just thinking it- was just as skilled and dangerous without knives or vibroblades, maybe even more so without them. He’d known that from the very first day he’d met her, when he first referred to her only as buyca. And now I know her.

She closed the remaining space to let the curve of her helmet meet his with a soft but audible, tangible clink. “Kar'taylir, Din Djarin.”

He sighed out her name again as her fingers slid higher up beneath his helmet in his hair. And to think I was impressed with the stars.

That night, for the first time since coming to live among the Mandalorians, Din Djarin felt the press of lips to his bare skin as she sat behind him and lifted her own helmet just enough to kiss the back of his neck.

Kar’taylir, Aashi Zurn.

-- -- -- -- --

He noticed right away.

As he looked back over his shoulder, the tilt of her helmet was off. She was moving too slowly. A sudden chill gripped his chest making it hard to take a breath as he shoved his way back through the fray to get to her. No! Cyare! Another blast hit the wall of a nearby home that came crumbling down, and he knew that at her current pace she wouldn’t get out of the way in time. Launching himself at her, he caught her in his arms and rolled them both safely out of line of the debris, shielding her battered body with his own. He was extremely grateful that they had both just received their beskar helmets, knowing that the metal placeholders they trained in would do nothing to protect them in this situation.

But as he dragged her into an alley to safely assess her injuries, he saw that having the beskar wouldn’t matter. Not for her, not this time. No… No, Aashi… His hands shook as he placed them over the growing red bloom at her shoulder.

Aashi’s helmet, one pauldron and both thigh plates were pure Mandalorian beskar. The rest was just durasteel. Since the Great Purge beskar had been extremely hard to come by. The Armorer had to be discerning in her distribution of new pieces, oftentimes awarding warriors with beskar for achievements or special services for the Tribe. It was how he had also come to possess select pieces made of the precious material. Her wound though, was on the shoulder not encased in impenetrable armor. And he knew what that meant. She did, too.

Another year had passed since the night by the fire- a year that had kept them and the rest of their squadron busy in protecting their covert from the encroachment of Imperial violence. A year that had been spent deepening their bond not only as warriors but as partners. A year that made him certain that he was bound to her in all but ceremony.

“You h-have to go, Din.” Her voice was hoarse and thin, the modulator in her helmet doing little to hide the obvious agony she was in. He felt her weak grasp on his wrist as she tried to pull his attention from her bloodied shoulder to her face. “Din…” Hearing her speak his name in that tone broke him, and he dropped his head, letting her take his hand, letting her bleed slowly into oblivion.

“I won’t leave you.” He could hear how stubborn he sounded and he hated it. Hated that he couldn’t detach like he’d been trained to, hated that he would have to leave her, hated that he hadn’t been there to take the hit that she’d taken.

Using what little strength she still had, she brought her hand up behind his neck, fingers sliding slowly into his sweat slicked hair. He let out a shaky breath and realized his eyes were damp. “You could n-never leave me, cyare. You are a p-part of me, always.” She bent her fingers gently to nudge his helmet down to meet hers, and he placed both of his hands on the sides of her head. “B-but you have to...to warn the others. You n-need to… the covert. They need to…”

“Shh,” he silenced her, moving one hand down to mirror her touch, placing it on the back of her neck. “I know. I… I will.” He knew that she was right. He had to get back to the covert to help as many of the Tribe escape off planet to Nevarro as possible. He hadn’t gone through additional training, sworn additional oaths just to forsake it all to die in this ally with her and let the rest of the Tribe suffer the same fate. “I will.”

“Kar’taylir, Din Djarin…” She managed once more to tell him what he’d felt for so long, and then he felt her go limp, felt his heart stop, felt the world dim.

She was gone.

No. He shook his head, banishing the heartache that threatened to claim him. No. Not gone. She could never be gone. Like she told him, he was a part of her. And she was a part of him. She would be, always.

Leaving her there was the hardest trial he’d ever undergone, but there was nothing more he could do for her, and he refused to let her death be for nothing. He pushed himself back up and ran back to the covert, alerting who he could and helping as many to safety as possible.

It wasn’t until night fell three days later on Dantooine that he allowed himself to finally feel the cuts, the breaks in his heart. He had stayed behind with the rest of the elite squadron until all of the Tribe’s members were accounted for, either fallen or fled to Nevarro. Only he, Hast, Vizsla and a handful of others remained on the planet, and would be leaving in the morning never to return.

He’d spent that day solemnly traveling to the place of their first mission together, to the outcropping of rock where they’d hidden from the rebels and bared their souls to one another. When he arrived there, he felt her, as though some part of her presence had stayed there that night. He thought a part of himself must have, too. Silently, he knelt down and took the blade from its sheath on his boot. Kaysh meg miit'gaana, oyacyi. The act of writing, even something that was unlikely to be read, even something that only he knew existed, was an act of commitment. Though Mandalorians were not known for making monuments to the dead, remembrance was of personal importance to all who swore the Creed. Placing his other hand on the cool stone, he brought the sharp edge to the rock face and began carving into it. One symbol, then the next, etching the lines until all five were legible. He didn’t know how long it took, but when it was done he knew how long it would last.

“Kar’taylir, Aashi Zurn. Darasuum.”

Thank you for reading! Please feel free to let me know if you would like to be added to or removed from the tags! :)

tags: @something-tofightfor @alraedesigns @pheedraws @valkblue @malionnes @gollyderek @fific7 @becs-bunker @commanderlola @greatcircle79 @cannedsoupsucks

#din djarin #mando #the mandalorian #young din djarin #pedrostories #the mandalorian fanfic #resol’nare #resol'nare one shot #din's first girlfriend #aw #this is the way #mando'a #din djarin fanfic #din djarin fanfiction #mando fanfic #mando fanfiction #din djarin x oc #pedro pascal characters

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yuusa · 3 years

Text

𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝟏𝟒

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟑𝟔𝟒𝟒

𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐃𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫

𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝟏𝟒:

You knocked on their front door, a basket of food in your hands that you prepped earlier in the day. You hope it wasn’t rude to ask them to use their kitchen, you thought it would be much better to cook them fresh dinner rather than something you stored in the fridge from the morning.

It had been a couple of days since your encounter with Akito and you have been trying to contact Yuki more often. At first, you didn’t know what you were supposed to do in order to “maintain” your friendship, as your relationship with Yuki always seemed to be left in the air, waiting to be taken.

It was small gestures of acknowledgment you tried to hint at towards him. For example, you told him that Tohru wanted to invite him to a game of badminton after school. While you were unable to attend due to your shift, you encouraged him to play with them, if not for his sake but for yours. You were a bit glad to hear that he came back to you later in the day and texted you about his experience, saying that he felt much lighter than he did earlier.

You may have replied a bit late due to your shift, but you noticed yourself smiling a bit more often as you began to think about the gray-haired male. Shimada commented on your positive attitude and thought that you might have broken out of your nest to explore the world, while Aikyo said you were choosing a lot more zodiac related stationery. This feeling of caring and thinking about others was flooding your mind like a cup under the faucet, constantly overfilling.

You heard a couple of voices behind the door and some shuffling before the door slid open. Shigure greeted you casually while inviting you in.

“Oh! What brings you here (Y/n)-kun?” He asked.

You lifted up the basket full of food, “dinner. I wanted to thank you for the other time when you invited me for dinner.”

“That’s amazing! Perfect timing as well, Tohru-kun and Yuki’s brother went out to eat and we didn’t have anything.” You took off your shoes before making your way to the table, seeing Kyo and Yuki sitting there watching T.V.

“(L/n)-san?” Yuki questioned, “what are you doing here at this time?”

“I thought it would be nice to cook everyone dinner, as a way to repay you for your previous invitation.” You bowed in front of them politely, “I hope it’s not too much to ask to use your kitchen.”

Shigure waved his hand, “that would be fine! You sure did come at a perfect time!”

“I see, I had no idea Sohma-san had a brother.” You commented, turning around to the kitchen and opening your basket to reveal several containers. There were several filets of salmon that you recently purchased from the store that was marinated after you came back from your shift. They were a nice color already from the amount of time they slept in the marinade, if you had soaked the salmon in the miso for too long, it would become extremely salty.

“What are you making?” Kyo peered over your shoulder as you unlocked the lid. You took out the apron you brought with you and tied it around your back, securing it with a knot.

“Miso salmon, I heard in class you were not fond of miso, so I made a separate filet,” You replied, “it’s a bit simple.”

“That’s fine, I’ve always been interested in your cooking ever since the other girls said you were great at it,” The orange-haired classmate grinned before making his way back to the table, “you better not put chives in it!”

“Could you be any pickier?” Yuki rolled his eyes while Kyo stood up defensively, trying to explain that chives were probably the devil’s creation.

“It would be nice to have (Y/n)-kun cook for us as well! Two beautiful girls!” Shigure swooned, “a dream come true!”

“I hope you don’t get arrested,” Yuki groaned.

“Are you jealous of (Y/n)-kun cooking skills Yuki-kun? You are quite clumsy with your hands and last time when you tried to coo—”

“Could we not talk about that?” He snapped back, “I’m starting to get better.”

“That’s good Sohma-san.” You commented, “practice always helps with improving yourself. I wasn’t very good at cooking at the start either.” You roughly chopped up the vegetables while multitasking, engaging yourself in the conversation.

“It’s good news to hear that you’re still trying.” You smiled, causing Yuki to turn his head away as his cheeks began to flush.

Yuki vividly remembers the day the two of you shared a quiet moment on the rooftop, his cheeks beginning to burn a hotter temperature at the thought. He wonders if you still have the drawing the two of you made together.

Shigure hummed, “you’ve been much closer to Yuki-kun lately, did you two do something together?”

You casually shrugged, pushing the vegetables onto their own separate bowl as a side dish. “Not really.”

There was a brief pause of silence before hearing someone’s stomach growl. Kyo groaned in response while flipping himself over onto the floor.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be done soon.” You replied, specifically to his growling stomach. “Where did Tohru-kun go with Sohma-san’s brother?”

Yuki sighed in annoyance, the feeling of exhaustion directed towards his older brother, “he decided to take Honda-san out to eat at the nearby restaurant.”

“I see. . .” You didn’t know exactly how to respond, you were an only child after all and you didn’t have anyone to talk to in your younger days. Although you went to the same middle school as Yuki, you both hadn’t crossed paths until you became part of the committee for the first year of high school.

“How would you describe your brother, Sohma-san?” You flipped over the salmon that was beginning to crisp up slightly in the pan. It was starting to smell really good.

“He’s annoying, perverted, and most of all strange.” Yuki responded, feeling his blood almost begin to boil at the thought, “makes me wonder how we are even related.”

“He sounds quite interesting,” you moved the cooking the non-miso salmon for Kyo.

“No, he is quite the opposite.” Yuki retorted, flipping through the pages of his book.

You carefully plated each of the dishes onto the plates before making your way over to the table. You remember making this recipe in class and just happened to remember it earlier in the day. The smell of salmon and miso filled the room while there was a neatly scooped ball of rice in a small bowl.

“Dinner is ready.” You announced, tucking in your legs underneath you as you sat down with them.

“Oh! Smells good!” Shigure clapped his hands, already holding onto the chopsticks in between his fingers as he smiled. “Do you normally cook like this at home?”

You scratched your cheek awkwardly, “not very often. I take home leftovers from work.”

You were surprised on the inside. You never knew how inviting the Sohma family was until you decided to open the doors. You’ve wallowed up in your own concerns to realize the number of people who also needed help. You gripped the edge of your skirt as the rest of them prayed.

You really didn’t want to think about your own problems, not when you are doing so well at trying to be with others.

“Thank you for the meal.” Everyone said, their chopsticks digging into the meal as they ate.

Yuki eyed you from the other side of the table. Your noticeable change in behavior was quite obvious to him. He wondered if the meeting with Akito changed your perception of things, or if it was the day you heard him cry.

Even at school, you made an effort to address your fans. You would write in your journal less and focus heavily on talking with other people. He felt as if you were forcing yourself to talk to others despite the change in tone. Even though there was that lingering feeling, he can’t deny the fact that you almost look content with what you were doing.

You were simply distracting yourself from your own problems by helping others.

You knew you may not be the best at wording the things you say, and you aren’t the best at being someone’s friend, but you were trying. You felt as if actions spoke more than words could, and that by being able to communicate with people you might even find your own happiness in theirs. It could be wishful thinking, trying to comfort others when you couldn’t even take care of your own self, but the way Yuki’s eyes stared back at you like a reflection in the mirror, you couldn’t bear to see someone like that.

No one else should suffer from your eyes.

You brushed back a few strands of your hair as you quietly ate your food, listening to Shigure talk about his latest book and editor. You wondered if the chance of pace made you easier to talk to. Aikyo told you a couple of days ago that you looked much brighter than you did when she first saw you.

“I’m home!” Tohru’s voice echoed in the halls before turning to see everyone seated at the table, nearly finished with the food. “Oh! (Y/n)-kun, you came over today!”

“Yes. I thought you would be here as well, but I was told you went out to eat. There is an extra salmon filet in the fridge for you to eat later if you ever feel hungry.” You responded, wiping at your lips with a napkin as you placed your chopsticks on top of your bowl.

It didn’t seem like Yuki’s brother came home with her, there didn’t look like there was anyone other than Tohru who came back. You narrowed your eyes at the sight of her holding a stack of clothes and shoes in her hand.

“Tohru-kun, why do you have someone else’s clothes?” You asked.

Tohru began to stutter as the rest of the group went cold, “a-ah! I-I went to the store to buy some!”

You nodded, not really understanding the reason behind her nervousness but decided to overlook it. You noticed that there seemed to be a wiggling creature underneath her actual clothes, the unknown figure slithering close to her neck. You quickly stood up and walked towards Tohru who began to sweat profusely.

“Y-Yes? W-What’s wrong (Y/n)-kun?” Tohru nervously stuttered.

You reached out to her neck and pulled out an albino snake. She squealed in surprise, almost as if she had been caught red-handed. The snake slithered around your arm but you slowly maneuvered it to stay near your hand.

“I’m surprised you didn’t notice this snake Tohru-kun.” You carefully opened up the snake’s mouth to examine its fangs, “it doesn’t seem to be venomous. It might just be a harmless snake, but you should be careful next time when you’re walking home.”

Yuki and Kyo sweatdropped, trying not to say anything that could alarm your suspicions of this mysterious snake. They both knew exactly who it was, but they were lucky the contact with you and him was enough to not transform back. The two of them never knew that you were so calm in the face of a possibly dangerous animal, then again, the only time Yuki has ever seen you look a bit flustered was the time he asked for your phone number.

“An albino snake. . . I haven’t seen one in person before.” You gently guided the snake and stroked at its cheek with your finger, the animal curling up on your arm as to embrace your warm skin. It nuzzled against your finger while its body continued to wiggle around you. It seemed content on staying with you.

“O-Oh. . . Do you like snakes (Y/n)-kun?” Shigure cleared his throat.

“Hm. . .” You hummed, “I think they’re interesting.”

Unbeknownst to the group, the white snake was stuck in a predicament. While your body was extremely warm and soft, almost like cuddling a pillow, your eyes looked predatory. He was struggling with the two inner sides of his head, one that wanted to stay in a warm environment or run away from you. This was a very dangerous situation as some eagles were known to consume snakes.

You felt Yuki pull the snake away from you and handed it over to Kyo who stood by Tohru’s side. “(L/n)-san, why don’t I guide you to the bathroom, the snake might be a bit dirty.”

“Sure.” You absentmindedly let Yuki drag you towards the bathroom for girls while Kyo and Shigure dealt with the snake.

He carefully pushed you in and instructed you to wash with soap before closing the bathroom door. Yuki waited outside to stand guard for you. His headache would surely grow if his older brother found out that he was friends with another girl other than Tohru, he might say something embarrassing to you.

He heard the faint sound of the familiar explosion as his flamboyant brother called out to him from the other room.

“Sohma-san, what was that noise?” You asked, feeling slightly concerned as it sounded similar to the one from the school festival, “was that an explosion?”

“No! Don’t worry about it, the neighbors must be lighting fireworks.” He replied, trying not to stutter. You raised your eyebrows but didn’t comment on it any further.

You awkwardly rubbed at your skin with soap while checking your appearance in the mirror. It seems as if the dark spots under your eyes have worsened, but it wasn’t enough to warrant a response or comment from others. You might be able to fix it with light makeup. You washed your face before knocking on the door to alert Yuki you had finished.

“Sohma-san, did your brother come home?”

Yuki opened the door to reveal your washed-up form, your skin slightly glowing underneath the light.

“It appears so.” He sighed before taking you back to the table where his white-haired brother sat.

He had long, flowy white hair that reached to his back. His eyes were much different from Yuki’s, it was a bit familiar to the snake you just touched earlier. He certainly did look like an older version of Yuki.

You politely bowed down in front of him, “it’s nice to meet you, I’m (L/n) (Y/n), Sohma-san’s classmate from school.”

He appears to be quite interested in your appearance as he placed his hand under in chin in a thinking position. He always thought Tohru looked pretty but you seemed to be more of a model. You had nice (s/c) skin that was warm to the touch and soft. Your (h/c) hair framed your face nicely as you peered up to him with your sharp gaze, possibly one that could freeze the room.

“So you’re my precious little brother’s friend! Nice to meet you, I am Sohma Ayame!” He flamboyantly announced, swinging his arms above his head to emphasize his words, “do you mind coming over to my store?!”

“Huh?” He grabbed onto your hand while tilting your chin up, your eyes meeting up with his golden orbs.

“You and Yuki can come over together!” He eagerly asked, his eyes sparkled brightly as he smiled in anticipation of your response. Yuki could feel his annoyance boil at an extreme temperature, almost like a kettle was about to burst.

“Um. . .” You didn’t know what you were supposed to say. This was your first time meeting someone as energetic as Ayame and you didn’t know exactly how to handle this sort of attention. “Sure. . . ?”

“Splendid!” He twirled you around, “I will write down the address so you can visit it over the weekend! Be sure to bring my wonderful and amazing younger brother!”

“H-Hey!” Yuki pulled you away from Ayame, “you’re pressuring her into this. Besides, aren’t you already busy this weekend?”

Ayame gasped in horror, “you’re right! But I will always make time for you Yuki! Nothing could come between our love. . .”

“Could you try not to get arrested?!”

You awkwardly stood in the middle of them, your mind completely blank at the scene unfolding in front of you. Yuki and Ayame bickered back and forth, one trying to convince the other to leave and one desperately trying to rekindle the brotherly love lost in the snow.

They sure are lively, you thought. Despite how dysfunctional their family was, or how many times they argued and disagreed, they always seem to come together in the end.

You found it quite strange yet familiar.

“Honey, it’ll be okay.” Your father comforted your mother as she wept in the other room.

“Of course it’s not okay?! Have you seen her?!” She screamed, curling up into a ball as your father pulled her into his arms. She rejected his advancements by shoving him back, knocking over some of the ceramics which decorated the halls. “She-Our daughter, she’s gone! Replaced by someone I don’t even know!”

“How can you stand to look at her?! (F/n)?!” Before she could pull her hand back, he quickly grabbed onto her and steadied themselves. “Let me go!”

“She’s the devil I tell you! She’s cursed!” She screamed.

“Calm down (M/n)!” He shouted back, “breathe for me honey, it’ll be fine, you’ll be fine.”

Your mother stifled her cries as she felt her arms and legs become weak, her fragile body dropping to the floor. The tears in her eyes dropped to the wooden floor like the rain from darkened clouds. Your father knelt down by her side, wiping away at the tears which pooled in her eyes as she sobbed pitifully.

“It’s okay. We can get through this together.” He whispered, bringing the two of them into another attempt at an embrace.

You yearned for someone to tell you the same words as well.

You unconsciously blinked away the small tears in the corner of your eye, but still wiped at your face with the back of your hand. Your lips formed a frown as you quickly gathered up the dishes quietly, the two brothers still bickering in the background as you made your way to the sink. Tohru watched as you slowly washed each of the dishes, still not making any sort of comment to the situation.

She looks lonely. . . Tohru didn’t quite understand what was going on in your life. She noticed your more cheery side during the week but couldn’t help but feel as if you were still unhappy. You seemed so exhausted every time she sees you outside of school, the dark circles under your eyes never went unnoticed by her.

Could it be that you were trying to make yourself look happy? She wondered. She noticed that you rarely ever talk about yourself, always contributing to the conversation with a surface idea but never elaborating any further. It was almost as if she didn’t know you at all. She didn’t know what was your favorite color, or what your favorite animal was, all the basic information a friend would know, but she doesn’t have that. She only knows little bits of what you said, you work at a cafe, you live in a singular apartment, and you are an only child.

Did you have a rough life with your own parents as well? Tohru always wondered why your parents never came to school meetings, why they never came to school events, they never showed up in your life at all. When it came to field trip permissions, you were always the last to turn in your slip despite being one of the top students in the school. When the Home Economics teacher asked the class to make your parents favorite dish, you stood there with nothing, it was almost as if you didn’t even know what your parents liked. It was the first project you ever failed in Home Economics. She remembers this event clearly as the teacher scolded you after class, concern written over her eyes as she tried to confront you about your own family life.

Tohru knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but she couldn’t help but hear that you say that you don’t know anything about your parents.

You stared at the dishes with gloomy eyes, wiping at the surface with soap and sponge, watching as the bubbles formed and disappeared into the black hole of the sink. The sounds of another person’s footsteps came to your side as you turned to them. Tohru smiled at you before grabbing another dirty plate and beginning to wash it with the other sponge.

“(Y/n)-kun. . . Is there something on your mind. . .?” She asked, your eyes widening for a split second before reverting itself to its original doleful look.

“. . . No, I’m fine Tohru-kun.” You gave her a smile, the sides of your cheek beginning to hurt. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

You scrubbed at the stain on the plate, Tohru still watching as your smile drooped down slightly, the pain still evident on your face yet you were trying to cling onto the fact that you were fine. You placed the dish onto the clean rack and reached out to the last one, only for it to be swiped away from you by Tohru.

“If something is bothering you, you could always tell me (Y/n)-kun.” She washed the plate with a genuine smile, “I’m here to listen.”

You froze in place, your surroundings being drowned out by the sound of your static heartbeat.

#fruits basket #fruits basket x reader #x reader #yuki sohma #yuki sohma x reader #yuki soma #yuki soma x reader

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azucanela · 4 years

Text

DIVINE INTERVENTION [PT 3] OIKAWA TOORU

DIVINE INTERVENTION MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: Everything is perfectly fine. Aside from the fact that Iwaizumi cannot know by any means at all. Ever. Oikawa isn’t looking to die.

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

WARNINGS: unedited, arguing,

A/N: i know exactly where i want this story to go but i have no idea how im going to get there. anywho, enjoy some of this

RULE #1

The rules were simple. And if Y/N was honest, their establishment... made sense. In fact, it had been one of few things Oikawa had done that was actually intelligent— though this excluded volleyball; even if Y/N was annoyed by his antics at times and considered him a fool, his skill in the game was practically unparalleled. And for that, she respected him

Not that she would ever admit it, of course.

The whole purpose was to set boundaries for this little thing they agreed to do— because yes, Y/N had managed to convince Oikawa to go along with her plan. These boundaries would ensure nobody was uncomfortable with the arrangement and hopefully preserve Y/N and Oikawa’s friendship. They’d both seen this trope in an endless number of romantic comedies, and decided that they would be the exception, especially since they were just movies, right? Right.

If Y/N was honest though, she had no idea how she convinced Oikawa to agree to this. But, she’d managed it. However, their little agreement had come with... a few other issues that had to be handled, especially if things were to go as planned. Said plan being to fake the end of their equally fake relationship in one of the coming months and hope nobody ever found out about it. Unless Y/N decided that a little more... divine intervention was called for of course.

After all, that’s how they got into this mess. And she sincerely doubted the break up would keep away his psychotic fans. Y/N was fairly sure there would be a few home wreckers as well; people trying to ruin their (fake, something Y/N reminded herself of once more) relationship. And those who wouldn’t wait even a week before trying to make passes at Oikawa when they did break up.

So, maybe Y/N would search for ways to extend the fake dating, but only for Oikawa’s sake. Until they found... a more permanent solution.

Right.

Regardless, that wasn’t the only issue they had. This very plan of theirs is how they ended up avoiding Iwaizumi Hajime like the plague.

Seeing as he was both their best friends, there were a few problems here. The first being the simple fact that no matter how hard Oikawa tried— Iwaizumi Hajime had always been capable of reading him like an open book. It was funny, really. Someone so talented in manipulations meets someone who can see past all that, the only other person he’d encountered with such abilities happened to be the one he’d been handling this with. Y/N.

Her problem was similar. She and Iwaizumi had always been close, meaning he would know. If they slipped up just once, then it would be abundantly clear that they were in fact, not dating.

It had been one of few rules that they both had agreed on almost instantaneously. Though Y/N found herself curious as to why Oikawa had been so complacent with it, seeing as Iwaizumi was his best friend, she’d been fairly desperate in the moment to maintain her reputation. That and the fact that Iwaizumi likely would’ve bullied her rather relentlessly, and if he did know, he’d chew them both out for being stupid.

Oikawa’s reasoning was similar. Kind of. He had a decent idea of what awaited him if he told Iwaizumi. One thing being a fist to the face, the second was a long conversation that followed said violence.

Which is how their little fake dating operation became a hide-everything-from-Iwaizumi operation.

“What do we do?”

Y/N looked to him incredulously, shrugging her shoulders awkwardly as she struggled for words, “how am I supposed to know?” She exclaims, still seated in his driveway. Soon, Iwaizumi would walk past to find that Y/N had already arrived and then they’d have to start their walk to school.

This would be more difficult than anticipated.

“I don’t know Y/N, maybe because this is your fault!” Comes Oikawa’s response, hand threading through his hair. “You have the story down right?”

Y/N raises a brow at him, they’d discussed a few possible stories as to how they’d begun dating in secret. Most of the ones that Oikawa had pitched ended up rather... cliché. “You are not making me tell Iwaizumi that Hallmark bull—”

“Well you didn’t offer a better story, did you?” He snaps, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “

Y/N offers him a tight lipped smile, “because I happen to excel at improv.”

Okay, maybe the whole fake dating thing had caused a small rift between Y/N and Oikawa as well. Or just, the entire friend group. Seeing as the pair was at odds, and their mediator was out of the loop, things had become rather chaotic. Very, very fast.

“You are horrible a acting Y/N.” Comes Oikawa’s response, bringing his hand to the bridge of his nose as he exhaled deeply. “We’re screwed.”

Y/N scoffed, “with that attitude we definitely are.” Though Y/N almost frowns, Oikawa had become significantly... meaner ever since this had occurred. And though Y/N understood that she’d messed up, his behavior was just... off. In an attempt to shake her mind of these thoughts, she grabs Oikawa’s backpack from off the edge of the sidewalk, opening it to pull out a bag of chips he’d brought, “we just need something consistent and simple. Like, you’ve been in love with me since we met and confessed after a lot of contemplation.”

Now, Oikawa was well aware of his new attitude, though he hoped it could be written off as simple annoyance of the situation. He was just looking for a way to handle the simple fact that he was not prepared for this, at all. The thoughts in the back of his mind, the ones he’d buried—or more accurately, thought he’d buried— were resurfacing. And what better way to combat them then by starting a small rivalry until this was over.

“Yes, that makes perfect sense, thank you.”

Sadly, Y/N had already proved to be one who didn’t really handle such attitudes well. As seen with the girl that she’d punched in the face just a few days earlier. So naturally, any thoughts of avoiding confrontation, went out the window at the sound of Oikawa’s tone. “What is up with you Oikawa, you’ve–”

“Hey guys.”

Leave it to Iwaizumi to mess up a perfectly good confrontation. Though Y/N can’t help but feel simultaneously relieved by this fact, and stressed as Iwaizumi is here.

“Iwa-Chan! Iwaizumi! How are you, buddy!” Oikawa exclaimed, making his way over to his friend to pat him on the back.

It felt as though they’d have to be walking on eggshells. Something that had never really been evident in their friendship until now, seeing as they’d all been fairly open. Of course there were a few things, that Y/N couldn’t help but feel reminded of now, almost wincing at the painful reminder of middle school.

Their group hadn’t been doing so well then. And it had quickly become apparent to Y/N that she was out of the loop, and seeing as she’d been the new addition to the pair... it hadn’t been a nice feeling.

“Let’s go then?” Y/N asked, looking between the two boys with a tight lipped smile on her face as she rose from her spot on the sidewalk. Opening the bag of chips as she pulled her backpack over her shoulder.

Maybe it was wrong, but she also felt nice, knowing that for once— she was on the inside. Even though middle school was years ago, Y/N could tell there was something the pair still hadn’t told her. It’d been bugging her ever since they’d arrived at Aoba Johsai.

Alas, now wasn’t the time for that.

“We should probably discuss some things first.”

There it was.

Oikawa exhaled deeply, opening his mouth in preparation for whatever conversation they were about to have, attempting to decide which explanation was most plausible. But, Iwaizumi beats him to it.

“I’m happy for you guys.”

Y/N blanks for a moment before saying, “what?”

Iwaizumi looks to her incredulously as he responds, “what? Am I not supposed to be happy that you two have finally handled the clearly unresolved tension and that—”

“Alright that’s enough, Iwa-Chan.” Oikawa exclaims, laughing breathily as he brings a hand to cover his friends mouth, only for Iwaizumi to look at him dully before shoving him away.

Rolling his eyes, Iwaizumi adjusts his backpack on his shoulders, “anyways. I just wish you guys had told me sooner but...” He shrugs, turning around to begin their walk down the street and to their school. “It is what it is, now let’s go.”

Y/N and Oikawa exchange looks, eyes wide as they do so. Both their mouthes gaping open as they scramble to follow Iwaizumi, who finally says, “just don’t let this change anything. And I guess you two can act—” He awkwardly gestures between the pair, “couple-y around me. Just don’t do anything pervy, Shittykawa.”

Oikawa brings a hand to his chest, feigning offense as he comes to stand beside Iwaizumi, “why would I do anything pervy? Honestly you would be shocked by my dear girlfriend’s actions—”

“I don’t want to know, Oikawa!” Iwaizumi exclaims, shoving his friend away.

Y/N can’t help the way her cheeks warm as Oikawa is launched her way by Iwaizumi’s attack, he stumbles slightly, ultimately walking between her and Iwaizumi before throwing an arm over her shoulders. Though Oikawa’s eyes meet hers momentarily when he does so, a silent question within them. All it takes is a nod and his arm is resting completely on her shoulders and he’s back to his conversation with Iwaizumi as Y/N contemplated all her life decisions.

Oikawa wouldn’t deny that it had gone better than anticipated but he already knows it’s coming when they arrive at the school and Iwaizumi is practically yanking him backwards as Y/N makes her way inside to speak with her other friends— who’d begun to swarm her almost immediately, questions leaving their mouthes rapidly as they searched for an explanation.

Y/N can’t help but feel overwhelmed as her actual friends; the ones that are both curious and concerned, seeing as Y/N swore she would never date Oikawa Tooru and fall for her best friend. It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with Oikawa— aside from the fact that he had numerous insecurities and emotions that he refused to discuss even when it was clear everything overwhelmed him—it made sense that so much of the school was practically in love with him when you thought about it.

He had manners, decent grades, was a star athlete, and even Y/N could admit he was attractive. But... he was one of her closest friends and the idea of dating him just seemed...

Wrong.

Aside from the shock from her real friends, there was the nosiness from the fake friends, the ones she’d never spoken to, the ones who had suddenly decided they were the best of friends and yet spoke trash about Y/N in their free time because she stole their precious Oikawa.

Yeah, the school was just a tad toxic. As if the grueling pressure of academics and intense obsession with Oikawa wasn’t enough of a red flag.

Sometimes, Y/N wishes she had gone to Shiratorizawa.

“I feel like you know what I’m going to say, Oikawa.” Iwaizumi mutters with a sigh, leaving Oikawa to panic as he meets his friend’s eyes. The grip on his shoulder unnecessarily tight. “I don’t necessarily know what’s going on with you two— just that it’s weird. But I swear if you hurt Y/N in any shape or form—”

“I would never do that Iwaizumi.” Comes his reply, almost instantly.

Iwaizumi pauses, eyes falling on Y/N who nervously laughs in the distance, her eyes pleading for his help before returning her attention to the group of people surrounding her. “I thought we got past this in middle school.”

“Me too, Iwa-Chan. Me too. But hey, lucky me.”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, uncapping his water bottle, “yeah. Lucky you, I’ll forever wonder how you got her to date you.”

“Good question.” Oikawa’s eyes fall onto Y/N, and he turns to Iwaizumi, “now. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go save my girlfriend from all of my psychotic fans.” Oikawa would never admit it, ever, but it had only been a week since Y/N pulled her little stunt and it had become evident that a relationship really was what Oikawa needed to get people off his back.

Things had definitely improved for him, and Oikawa could only wish that he could say the same for Y/N.

NOBODY CAN KNOW— NOT EVEN IWA-CHAN.

#oikawa tooru x reader #fake dating au #oikawa x reader #tooru x reader #oikawa x you #tooru oikawa x reader #tooru oikawa x you #oikawa tooru x you #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru imagine #oikawa imagine #haikyuu!! imagine #haikyuu!! scenario #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #hq x you #haikyuu!! x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you

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sepublic · 4 years

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Eda and Lilith as Teachers

One thing this show really likes to discuss is the idea of mentorship, of teaching others… And that naturally ties well into the show’s themes of education and systems that are meant to implement learning, but don’t do it so well. It’s about passing knowledge on to new generations, instilling a new passion into people, and/or feeding into the natural curiosity of others!

So I think Eda and Lilith’s roles as teachers is definitely worth analyzing, comparing, and contrasting, especially given their narrative ties and parallels to one another as sisters! The thing about Lilith is… She very much comes across as the ‘proper’ image of a teacher; She’s well-educated and has a prestigious position in the Emperor’s Coven, graduated from high school… She teaches multiple students –not just Amity- and she has access to a lot of educational texts on the matter. She’s transmitted plenty of knowledge on magic to Amity, which has contributed to Amity being a conventional Top Student!

In contrast, Eda is a dropout (by choice, she clearly loved learning otherwise). She’s not exactly rich and doesn’t have access to the materials that a member of the Emperor’s Coven would. She only has ONE student, a human who can’t even do regular magic… So what knowledge Eda DOES have is almost useless because she’s forced to learn from scratch a forgotten form of magic, Glyphs, to help Luz learn! For a while, Luz isn’t even enrolled at an actual school, she’s home-schooled by Eda… And Eda, admittedly, is not the ideal teacher. Unlike Lilith and her professionalism, Eda is far more crass and casual about her relationship with Luz.

And, obviously Lilith is the better teacher in the conventional sense. But, and as corny as it may sound… Eda is arguably the superior teacher in that her strengths come in teaching Luz things that matter and build her up not for a specific role in society, but just as a functioning individual in general; Actual life lessons, wisdom, street-smarts, etc., that apply directly to any and all situations Luz finds herself in, how she interacts with others and herself, and how she maintains relationships!

Even if the specific subject of magic isn’t taught very well by Eda –again, partly because of Luz’s unique needs and their non-ideal situation- she’s definitely been able to help Luz mature a lot… It’s with Eda’s help that Luz overcomes her issue of projecting fantasy onto reality, and recognizes that she isn’t entitled to greatness anymore than anyone else! It’s with Eda’s help that Luz learns to be patient, and to take the time to listen to what others have to say… etc.!

Eda teaches Luz to value her individuality and be critical of authority, but at the same time shows Luz how to admit when one has made mistakes to a person they’re supposed to be ‘smarter’, as seen when Eda swallows her pride to enroll Luz at Hexside! And, this fits a lot with what we’ve seen between Eda and Lilith… Eda is definitely the wiser of the two by a long shot (as befitting her Owl motif), and is easily able to recognize a corrupt Coven System, while Lilith happily chugs the kool-aid!

By contrast, even if Lilith DOES teach Amity great magical skill… In terms of maturity, neither of them really progressed much, if at all, up until Luz showed up. Amity in particular was excelling as Top Student, but remained just as miserable as ever… Sure, Lilith taught her how to do magic well, but in general, she didn’t really teach Amity anything meaningful, no life lessons or wisdom that could help the girl mature!

All Amity was taught was how to fulfill her function and role in society as a member of the Emperor’s Coven, but again, this focuses on what Amity does for others and not on building up Amity herself as a person with her own separate identity from the whole! It teaches Amity to prioritize her ‘purpose’ over building a sense of personhood and individuality, and as we can see… This ends up rather destructive for Amity’s part.

And Lilith herself was pretty immature and foolish, buying into Belos’ promises and propaganda, refusing to acknowledge there was more to her and Eda’s distance than just the curse, and only finally made a stance when her own sister was about to be petrified- And even then, Lilith initially tried to sneak her way back into the Emperor’s Coven like nothing happened!

And to be fair, I don’t think anybody would want to openly challenge Emperor Belos… But the idea is still there that for all of her ‘academic’ achievement, Lilith herself has matured and grown very little, with the majority of her learning have come by the Season Finale! She’s booksmart at least, but as we also see with Amity… This knowledge in academics doesn’t mean much if both characters are rather miserable, emotionally-stunted people! Lilith and Amity were taught to emphasize their roles as tools/parts in a larger machine, instead of as their own separate people who are simply allowed to live on their own and don’t have to justify their existence by contributing to some grander purpose!

This is further reflected in the contrast between the relationships of Eda and Luz, VS Lilith and Amity… Lilith and Amity are cold and professional, maintaining an air of distance and a sense of hierarchy with Lilith specifically above Amity! Amity can only defer to Lilith, and all she does is learn from her, without contributing any of her own knowledge to Lilith!

Whereas Eda and Luz teach one another in their own ways, help each other learn and grow… Their mentorship is far more mutualistic, and it’s reflected in how the two have a far more familial, casual relationship! There is no sense of hierarchy that must be maintained, that Eda automatically knows more than Luz and is thus better than her and clearly superior as a result, that she can do no wrong… No, Eda is also flawed and has a lot to learn from Luz, too! They’re in some ways equals, which reflects their rejection of educational status as a means and justification for academic elitism, which the Emperor’s Coven embodies!

All of this also ties into the show’s discussion of learning things and skills that are ‘practical’, for the sake of attaining more power, wealth, status, etc…. Versus simply doing things for the sake of prioritizing one’s happiness and enjoyment! As Dana herself said, Lilith and Amity saw one another more as tools to achieve their goals with. Their pursuit of magical knowledge was less out of a passion (at least it’s not anymore) and more for the pursuit of something else frivolous that neither of them really wanted, and neither of them benefitted from… But they needed it from a pragmatic scenario, so they had to put up with this!

In contrast, while Eda and Luz’s lessons don’t exactly focus on the more ‘pragmatic’ magic that would garner a good career, they DO focus on improving and maintaining the emotional wellbeing and growth of one another! And so even if they don’t have magical skills, power, status, etc., Eda and Luz still end up as far more fulfilled, happier, and mature individuals than Lilith and Amity! They may be at the bottom of society and wanted criminals, but Luz and Eda’s lives are clearly the more preferable ones to the powerful yet stifling positions that Amity and Lilith have respectively.

Now, obviously I have to be a bit fair to Lilith here; Eda had mostly willingly taken the role of Luz’s sole surrogate parental figure on the Boiling Isles… Whereas with Lilith, her relationship with Amity is just a professional one and not familial, and she’s busy handling other students too! As far as Lilith knows, Amity already has loving parents back home… and, well. Amity definitely has PARENTS. But in the end, Lilith herself isn’t necessarily performing some moral failing just because she hasn’t immediately signed herself up as Amity’s moral guardian and surrogate parent…

But because Eda’s strength lies in teaching emotional, personal lessons that prioritize the personal growth of individuals regardless of any ‘role/purpose’ they should serve, she’s arguably the superior teacher! Her lessons aren’t as fixated on magic and increasing one’s power and skill at it, which in turn reflects the idea of becoming a ‘powerful witch’ purely for reasons such as status, wealth, power, etc., that ultimately contribute little to one’s happiness as they do not necessarily prioritize personal satisfaction, but instead a mechanical purpose.

Eda and Luz are casual, they don’t try to maintain a divide or gap between one another, nor do they enforce a hierarchy where Luz is an empty receptacle that can only learn from Eda… They are on equal ground and thus benefit more as mutualistic partners, teaching one another as both grow, and respecting the contributions and individuality of the other! By contrast, Lilith and Amity focus on maintaining a certain hierarchy and divide between the two that believes Amity can only learn from Lilith.

As a result, what Amity has to give and say is silenced as she herself is taught that what she has to offer isn’t meaningful, and Lilith merely passes on pragmatic information about magic but doesn’t really gain anything from the interactions. It’s a paradoxical idea of uplifting the new generation as the one who will succeed the previous one and do so much better, but at the same time these young kids clearly know nothing and are inferior to the infallible wisdom of their predecessors! And if they question anything about the system, then again, they’re just dumb and silly kids and what do you know?!

There’s a power imbalance here, an assumption of total superiority based on academic merit, which again… Ties into the idea of educational elitism with the Emperor’s Coven! It’s only by working together on equal ground that a mentorship can propel both parties from their initial place in the world, be it within their own hearts or literally! And THAT goes along with this show’s ideas of how being your own individual and acknowledging others as such, actually leads to more powerful, meaningful bonds of family and community as people are allowed to self-actualize with themselves and one another, thus reaching their full ‘potential’!

To put it simply; Eda isn’t exactly the conventional teacher, but in all honesty… The ‘conventional teacher’ to the Boiling Isles is one that prioritizes distance and hierarchy, and the idea of transmitting practical knowledge for the sake of getting more power/status/wealth with little regard to one’s personal happiness… Whereas Eda and Luz’s mentorship emphasizes no gaps and encourages all participants to learn and offer things towards one another, and to focus on prioritizing their own personal happiness and emotional wellbeing first!

This in turn expands on the dilemma that Willow had once been faced with; Doing the more pragmatic, opportunistic Abomination Track, or self-actualizing with Plants! In the end, it’s the desire to prioritize doing things that simply make one happy, without regard to whether or not it can contribute to their material gain! And THAT relates to the Coven System’s flawed ideas of amassing power for the sake of being above others, which in itself is a pointless rat race.

In the end, Eda may not be the best at teaching magic… But as corny as it sounds, I think she’s better at teaching Luz about the things that really matter in life, lessons that actually bring you happiness and satisfactory relationships; Which the most skilled and powerful magic in the world can’t necessarily guarantee! Whilst Lilith taught Amity how to be ‘successful’, but by the specific standard/merit set by people like Belos… In reality, Amity’s success is paper-thin as she ends up a blindly obedient slave to authority figures that overtly-blames herself for her own mistakes and things she didn’t even cause, and is genuinely miserable!

While on the other hand, Eda taught Luz how to be ‘successful’ in the truly deep and emotional sense, in that she helps Luz focus more on maturing as an individual and coming off more well-rounded for it. Luz may not know everything there is to know about magic, and she’s no Top Student… But she’s actually enjoying herself, kindling her natural curiosity, and creating meaningful social connections! Luz is still allowed to learn things simply because she wants to, to engage with magical education on her own terms instead of by how others dictate it for the purpose of fulfilling a role!

And given what this show has to say about prioritizing one’s personal happiness over the practical option that will net them material gain (which in itself is a pointless goal that many families only pursue due to a lack of money)… It all points towards Eda and Luz having learned more, from one another or otherwise! Whereas Lilith and Amity remained stagnant and only seemed more educated, but in the end were fools for the Coven System to varying degrees.

Like the gilded appearance or masks of the Emperor’s Coven, their supposed status and glory above others is thin at best, and when subject to scrutiny gives way to a much harsher reality of personal weakness and lack of growth. From Eda, Luz gained life-skills that are far more applicable and flexible in their use to all of her experiences, rather than simple knowledge on how to cast a specific spell.

Luz’s lessons are more widely-applicable across every situation of life, while Amity’s lessons on magic, while important, ultimately do nothing to prepare her for self-love, being her own person, finding enjoyment in oneself again, etc. It’s all for a specific purpose within a specific machine-system set by Belos, but who is she without it?

And if one is miserable working for their role in the system, then what is even the point of fighting for material gain just to survive, if one is unable to truly live as an individual? And many poorer families only focus on material gain because their circumstances are skewed against their favor… They live in a system that forces them to need material gain just to survive, and it’s why they have to prioritize it when otherwise they would rather be their own people!

It’s no doubt intentional by Belos, to force people to remold themselves to fit into the very specific slots of his Coven Machine. Similarly, the values the Coven System uplifts prioritizes teaching kids to focus more on learning magical skills related to their function that ultimately characterizes them more as interchangeable parts rather than unique people with their own lives and desires!

TL;DR Eda actually has a LOT of value as a teacher, and so does Lilith! But Eda in particular doesn’t have that worth recognized, because the Boiling Isles society has reached a point where it only cares about learning stuff if it’s directly related towards getting a prestigious job/role in the Coven System… And most people are forcedto make that sort of prioritization over personal fulfillment, because a lot of them are trapped in a horrible situation otherwise!

It’s a nasty loop and cycle where people really would prefer to be brave like Eda and pursue who they are, but the brutal reality of the circumstances –set by Belos- dictates that they focus on pragmatic things and opportunities simply to do well in life! It encourages people to care more for survival and fitting in over being actual, well, people. This kind of mindset is of course more obedient and easier to control with Belos, who has access and control over wealth, power, and social prestige, which people are then taught to value above all else, thereby making them dependent upon his rule!

In general, the show poses the very important question; What does it mean to be a teacher? And what REALLY makes a good teacher? Luz no doubt expected Eda to be a more conventional, Fantasy-Magic teacher similar to what she’s seen in her books; But Eda’s more mundane lessons, once Luz learns to appreciate them (as seen in Episode 3), replace her idealized fantasies with a more mundane yet ultimately fulfilling reality. Of course, Lilith ALSO has value as a teacher in her own way too, hence why Eda learns in Episode 9 to both provide her usual form of instruction, AND the conventional, pragmatic kind we see in an institution like Hexside! Eda at least tries to fulfill both kinds of needs and roles as a mentor, which Lilith sadly never made the effort to do so, albeit with her own in-universe justifications of course.

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #the owl house lilith #lilith clawthorne #the owl house luz #luz noceda #the owl house amity #amity blight #analysis

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studyguidepro · 3 years

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How to Study With Full Concentration? Easy Steps to Improve Your Studies

Do you ever feel like your study habits simply aren’t cutting it? Do you wonder what you could be doing to perform better in class and on exams? Many students realize that their high school study habits aren’t very effective in college. This is understandable, as college is quite different from high school. The professors are less personally involved, classes are bigger, exams are worth more, reading is more intense, and classes are much more rigorous. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you; it just means you need to learn some more effective study skills. Fortunately, there are many active, effective study strategies that are shown to be effective in college classes.

This handout offers several tips on effective studying. Implementing these tips into your regular study routine will help you to efficiently and effectively learn course material. Experiment with them and find some that work for you.

Reading is not studying

Simply reading and re-reading texts or notes is not actively engaging in the material. It is simply re-reading your notes. Only ‘doing’ the readings for class is not studying. It is simply doing the reading for class. Re-reading leads to quick forgetting.

Think of reading as an important part of pre-studying, but learning information requires actively engaging in the material (Edwards, 2014). Active engagement is the process of constructing meaning from text that involves making connections to lectures, forming examples, and regulating your own learning (Davis, 2007). Active studying does not mean highlighting or underlining text, re-reading, or rote memorization. Though these activities may help to keep you engaged in the task, they are not considered active studying techniques and are weakly related to improved learning (Mackenzie, 1994).

Ideas for active studying include:

Create a study guide by topic. Formulate questions and problems and write complete answers. Create your own quiz.

Become a teacher. Say the information aloud in your own words as if you are the instructor and teaching the concepts to a class.

Derive examples that relate to your own experiences.

Create concept maps or diagrams that explain the material.

Develop symbols that represent concepts.

For non-technical classes (e.g., English, History, Psychology), figure out the big ideas so you can explain, contrast, and re-evaluate them.

For technical classes, work the problems and explain the steps and why they work.

Study in terms of question, evidence, and conclusion: What is the question posed by the instructor/author? What is the evidence that they present? What is the conclusion?

Organization and planning will help you to actively study for your courses. When studying for a test, organize your materials first and then begin your active reviewing by topic (Newport, 2007). Often professors provide subtopics on the syllabi. Use them as a guide to help organize your materials. For example, gather all of the materials for one topic (e.g., PowerPoint notes, text book notes, articles, homework, etc.) and put them together in a pile. Label each pile with the topic and study by topics.

For more information on the principle behind active studying, check out our tipsheet on metacognition.

Understand the Study Cycle

The Study Cycle, developed by Frank Christ, breaks down the different parts of studying: previewing, attending class, reviewing, studying, and checking your understanding. Although each step may seem obvious at a glance, all too often students try to take shortcuts and miss opportunities for good learning. For example, you may skip a reading before class because the professor covers the same material in class; doing so misses a key opportunity to learn in different modes (reading and listening) and to benefit from the repetition and distributed practice (see #3 below) that you’ll get from both reading ahead and attending class. Understanding the importance of all stages of this cycle will help make sure you don’t miss opportunities to learn effectively.

Spacing out is good

One of the most impactful learning strategies is “distributed practice”—spacing out your studying over several short periods of time over several days and weeks (Newport, 2007). The most effective practice is to work a short time on each class every day. The total amount of time spent studying will be the same (or less) than one or two marathon library sessions, but you will learn the information more deeply and retain much more for the long term—which will help get you an A on the final. The important thing is how you use your study time, not how long you study. Long study sessions lead to a lack of concentration and thus a lack of learning and retention.

In order to spread out studying over short periods of time across several days and weeks, you need control over your schedule. Keeping a list of tasks to complete on a daily basis will help you to include regular active studying sessions for each class. Try to do something for each class each day. Be specific and realistic regarding how long you plan to spend on each task—you should not have more tasks on your list than you can reasonably complete during the day.

For example, you may do a few problems per day in math rather than all of them the hour before class. In history, you can spend 15-20 minutes each day actively studying your class notes. Thus, your studying time may still be the same length, but rather than only preparing for one class, you will be preparing for all of your classes in short stretches. This will help focus, stay on top of your work, and retain information.

In addition to learning the material more deeply, spacing out your work helps stave off procrastination. Rather than having to face the dreaded project for four hours on Monday, you can face the dreaded project for 30 minutes each day. The shorter, more consistent time to work on a dreaded project is likely to be more acceptable and less likely to be delayed to the last minute. Finally, if you have to memorize material for class (names, dates, formulas), it is best to make flashcards for this material and review periodically throughout the day rather than one long, memorization session (Wissman and Rawson, 2012).

It’s good to be intense

Not all studying is equal. You will accomplish more if you study intensively. Intensive study sessions are short and will allow you to get work done with minimal wasted effort. Shorter, intensive study times are more effective than drawn out studying.

In fact, one of the most impactful study strategies is distributing studying over multiple sessions (Newport, 2007). Intensive study sessions can last 30 or 45-minute sessions and include active studying strategies. For example, self-testing is an active study strategy that improves the intensity of studying and efficiency of learning. However, planning to spend hours on end self-testing is likely to cause you to become distracted and lose your attention.

On the other hand, if you plan to quiz yourself on the course material for 45 minutes and then take a break, you are much more likely to maintain your attention and retain the information. Furthermore, the shorter, more intense sessions will likely put the pressure on that is needed to prevent procrastination.

Silence isn’t golden

Know where you study best. The silence of a library may not be the best place for you. It’s important to consider what noise environment works best for you. You might find that you concentrate better with some background noise. Some people find that listening to classical music while studying helps them concentrate, while others find this highly distracting. The point is that the silence of the library may be just as distracting (or more) than the noise of a gymnasium. Thus, if silence is distracting, but you prefer to study in the library, try the first or second floors where there is more background ‘buzz.’

Keep in mind that active studying is rarely silent as it often requires saying the material aloud.

Problems are your friend

Working and re-working problems is important for technical courses (e.g., math, economics). Be able to explain the steps of the problems and why they work.

In technical courses, it is usually more important to work problems than read the text (Newport, 2007). In class, write down in detail the practice problems demonstrated by the professor. Annotate each step and ask questions if you are confused. At the very least, record the question and the answer (even if you miss the steps).

When preparing for tests, put together a large list of problems from the course materials and lectures. Work the problems and explain the steps and why they work (Carrier, 2003).

Reconsider multitasking

A significant amount of research indicates that multi-tasking does not improve efficiency and actually negatively affects results (Junco, 2012).

In order to study smarter, not harder, you will need to eliminate distractions during your study sessions. Social media, web browsing, game playing, texting, etc. will severely affect the intensity of your study sessions if you allow them! Research is clear that multi-tasking (e.g., responding to texts, while studying), increases the amount of time needed to learn material and decreases the quality of the learning (Junco, 2012).

Eliminating the distractions will allow you to fully engage during your study sessions. If you don’t need your computer for homework, then don’t use it. Use apps to help you set limits on the amount of time you can spend at certain sites during the day. Turn your phone off. Reward intensive studying with a social-media break (but make sure you time your break!) See our handout on managing technology for more tips and strategies.

Switch up your setting

Find several places to study in and around campus and change up your space if you find that it is no longer a working space for you.

Know when and where you study best. It may be that your focus at 10:00 PM. is not as sharp as at 10:00 AM. Perhaps you are more productive at a coffee shop with background noise, or in the study lounge in your residence hall. Perhaps when you study on your bed, you fall asleep.

Have a variety of places in and around campus that are good study environments for you. That way wherever you are, you can find your perfect study spot. After a while, you might find that your spot is too comfortable and no longer is a good place to study, so it’s time to hop to a new spot!

Become a teacher

Try to explain the material in your own words, as if you are the teacher. You can do this in a study group, with a study partner, or on your own. Saying the material aloud will point out where you are confused and need more information and will help you retain the information. As you are explaining the material, use examples and make connections between concepts (just as a teacher does). It is okay (even encouraged) to do this with your notes in your hands. At first you may need to rely on your notes to explain the material, but eventually you’ll be able to teach it without your notes.

Creating a quiz for yourself will help you to think like your professor. What does your professor want you to know? Quizzing yourself is a highly effective study technique. Make a study guide and carry it with you so you can review the questions and answers periodically throughout the day and across several days. Identify the questions that you don’t know and quiz yourself on only those questions. Say your answers aloud. This will help you to retain the information and make corrections where they are needed. For technical courses, do the sample problems and explain how you got from the question to the answer. Re-do the problems that give you trouble. Learning the material in this way actively engages your brain and will significantly improve your memory (Craik, 1975).

Take control of your calendar

Controlling your schedule and your distractions will help you to accomplish your goals. If you are in control of your calendar, you will be able to complete your assignments and stay on top of your coursework. The following are steps to getting control of your calendar:

On the same day each week, (perhaps Sunday nights or Saturday mornings) plan out your schedule for the week.

Go through each class and write down what you’d like to get completed for each class that week.

Look at your calendar and determine how many hours you have to complete your work.

Determine whether your list can be completed in the amount of time that you have available. (You may want to put the amount of time expected to complete each assignment.) Make adjustments as needed. For example, if you find that it will take more hours to complete your work than you have available, you will likely need to triage your readings. Completing all of the readings is a luxury. You will need to make decisions about your readings based on what is covered in class. You should read and take notes on all of the assignments from the favored class source (the one that is used a lot in the class). This may be the textbook or a reading that directly addresses the topic for the day. You can likely skim supplemental readings.

Pencil into your calendar when you plan to get assignments completed.

Before going to bed each night, make your plan for the next day. Waking up with a plan will make you more productive.

Use downtime to your advantage

Beware of ‘easy’ weeks. This is the calm before the storm. Lighter work weeks are a great time to get ahead on work or to start long projects. Use the extra hours to get ahead on assignments or start big projects or papers. You should plan to work on every class every week even if you don’t have anything due. In fact, it is preferable to do some work for each of your classes every day. Spending 30 minutes per class each day will add up to three hours per week, but spreading this time out over six days is more effective than cramming it all in during one long three-hour session. If you have completed all of the work for a particular class, then use the 30 minutes to get ahead or start a longer project.

Use all your resources

Remember that you can make an appointment with an academic coach to work on implementing any of the strategies suggested in this handout.

#studies #study #studygram #studymotivation #studying #studynotes #student #education #studytips #studyinspiration

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fantasiesandbooks · 3 years

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From Ashes To New Fires

I don’t own any of the photos.

word count: 7.9 k

Chanyeol x Reader

Genre: Angst. Fluff. Romance

Prologue Part 1

Chanyeol was running through the halls of the palace. He had been summoned by the king in the big dining room and he knew, as well as the rest of the people living there, that it bothered him others will keep him waiting for too long.

“Hey!” One of the guards named Baekhyun yelled at him. The boy started jogging, trying to match Chanyeol’s pace.

“Not now” The other man said in between breaths.

“Where are you going?” Baekhyun panted.

“The King wants to see me” Chanyeol said, trying to keep his voice steady. “He sent Alfred to fetch me about 30 minutes ago”.

“He’s gonna be furious” Baekhyun pointed out.

“I know” Chanyeol said matter of factly.

“Are you still going with us after dinner?” The brown haired boy asked him.

“Let me see what the King wants first and I will catch up with you and the others” The tall boy said giving him a quick glance and quicken his pace.

“If you are not at the barracks at 8 o’clock, we will leave”. The other yelled as he stopped to look at his friend coming to a halt before he opened the dining room’s doors.

The room was quiet except for the cutlery’s clacking and a servant saying something to the King in a quiet voice.

Chanyeol looked at the front without giving a second glance at the decoration that was around them. There was no need since he knew the castle like the palm of his hand. All those years living there since he was a boy had made him familiar with the place and after becoming Captain of the Royal Guard well, it was his duty to know it that well. He walked until he was a few steps away from the other two people in the room. “You can go now” King Athereon said at the woman and waved a hand dismissively at her. The woman bowed. She glanced shyly at Chanyeol and kept her gaze down as she exited the room with her tray in hand.

The King turned to looked at the Captain and said “You are late”.

Chanyeol without faltering his gaze away from the King’s eyes answered him “Pardon me your Majesty. I was supervising the archery lessons on the east side and I came as soon as Alfred told me you wanted to see me”.

The King looked at him in silence for a moment. He didn’t look as angry as the tall boy would’ve imagined but didn’t look happy either. Most of the people in the castle and outside of it, according to Baekhyun’s perspective, were intimidated and afraid of him. He certainly wasn’t in the “Good and benevolent” king’s list and even people from other kingdoms knew that too. Nevertheless, Chanyeol and some other servants and guards already got used to his harsh manners so it was something that didn’t impress him anymore. The man only hummed in response and gave a sip from his wine cup.

“How is the training going? Can I expect fully prepared men or we would have to dispose some of them?” The man asked.

“They are training hard and have been improving a lot since last month your Highness. Of course you will have a very good army”. Chanyeol explained securely.

“I have just received a letter where they informed me that the meeting of Arethea will take place in five weeks from now. I need you and all of your men to be ready by then”.

The meeting of Arethea is a gathering that occurs once a year. All the Kings and Queens from the continent must go in order to discuss the problems of each one of the kingdoms and come up with solutions to fix them. It is also useful in case there are conflicts between two or more of the lands as they have to find diplomatic ways to maintain the peace. After The Great War 50 years ago, all the continent’s rulers came to an agreement on trying to maintain the peace so the destruction and death that once hit the land never occur again. Chanyeol looked at the man weirded out. Usually in that meeting the Kings and Queens were accompanied by a small group of people in which you could count their Royal Guards, family like wives and husbands or their first born heirs and some servants.

He didn’t understand why the King would want for all the army to be ready for that meeting.

“I don’t understand my Lord. I already have selected the men that are coming with us to the gathering”. Chanyeol said.

“I know that” The King said sternly “But this meeting is different. There are some kingdoms that are having problems due to the weather. Some had their crops flooded and others couldn’t harvest because of the droughts. They might be expecting for the rest of the lands to give them part of ours”. The King snorted and continued cutting his steak. Chanyeol could sense where this coversation was going but decided to kept quiet.

“I have had enough with being the remedy of their misfortunes” The King said. “If they doesn’t know how to rule then it’s time for them to give away their thrones to someone more fitting for the job”.

The tall boy looked at him and clenched his jaw. He knew after all, the King wasn’t expecting his opinion on the matter.

“Have your men ready in case there’s need to handle things differently. They are not coming to Arethea but I want at least half of them near the proximities of the land”.

“Yes my Lord” Chanyeol said dryly.

“And also, I have a mission for you” The King wiped his mouth with a napkin and threw it on the table. He stood from his chair and started walking towards the gates gesturing Chanyeol to follow him.

“Gather some of your best men. I need you to go to the lands outside the Kingdom and gather the leaders from most powerful magical creatures you could find”. The King’s voice echoed through the halls as they were walking to his office.

“Wizards, fairies, witches, whatever you come across” He opened the door as he went through and left it open for his guard to pass.

The King rummaged through the papers scattered around his desk. He took a map where it could be seen all the land across the continent including the Kingdoms and the land between them that belonged to no realm in particular. He signaled at the borders between Arethea and Tassea and said “Rumors said there is one of the most powerful coven there. Bring the witch in charge of it”.

“And what if she doesn’t want to come?” Chanyeol asked him.

“Then kill or arrest them all” King Athereon said sharply. “Seeing a witch trial it is always amusing for the people in town”.

Chanyeol didn’t like the idea but it was clear to him that nothing he could say would disuade the King from it. He gave an intake of breath and nodded.

“Tomorrow bring another map so you trace the spots you’re going to be looking for and the list with the names of the people that will go with you. You need to leave as soon as possible and be sure to arrive before we need to leave for the meeting.” The King sat on his chair as he was contemplating the map.

“Is there anything else you need, Sir?” Chanyeol asked him.

“That’s all. Leave and close the door behind you”. He was writing some things on his black note.

“Good night My Lord” The brown haired boy said as he turned around and left the room.

Baekhyun and the others were waiting impatiently at Chanyeol. There was already half past the hour they’ve agreed to meet.

“He’s not coming” Kyungsoo, one of the Royal guards said.

“Lets go. It’s already late and remember he told us to be at 6:00 am on the sparring field”. Sehun whined.

“Just wait ten more minutes” Baekhyun said. “The good thing of hanging out with the captain is that he can’t lecture us for being late, if he is late too”. The other boys groaned. “Guys!” Chanyeol yelled as he was running through the stone bridge to meet them. Everyone turned to look at him.

“I’m sorry” The tall boy panted. “We can go now”.

“About time” Jongdae said.

“It’s all right, boys” Baekhyun said as he and the others started walking towards the castle gates. “I’m sure we will get to practice tomorrow a little bit later than usual, isn’t that right Captain?”.

The boy padded Chanyeol’s back and he looked at him with a frown. Baekhyun urged him silently to say yes.

The tall boy groaned “Fine, whatever.”

“Thank you” Baekhyun smiled pleased.

Two of the boys, Yixing and Kyungsoo, suppressed a laugh at seeing their friend’s annoyance.

“You know, I sometimes feel you only invite me because you want to be late at work without facing consequences” Chanyeol told them. The rest of the boys denied that immediately.

“We actually like you” Yixing said and smiled at him. Chanyeol gave him a little smile in return “I can trust in your words but not in Baekhyun’s”.

The shorter boy grimaced and put a hand over his heart dramatically “Your words hurt me”. Chanyeol pushed him playfully as the other boy laughed at his friend.

“So, what did the King wants?”, Jongin, his best soldier for sparring, asked him.

“He asked me to get the men ready for Arethea’s meeting”. Chanyeol said as his tone and expression became serious. “But Royals are not allowed to bring entire armies to the meeting.” Junmyeon said weirded out.

“He wants them near the realm” Chanyeol explained.

“That only will bring suspicions and confusion to the others, isn’t it?” Yixing asked.

“Well, he’s fed up with other Kingdoms asking for help.” The tall boy said. “Specially since he is not doing it willingly. He only does it because of the agreement”.

“So, if he doesn’t want to take part on the solution, we are going to war?” Minseok asked worriedly.

“Most likely” Chanyeol said without a hint of mocking. Everyone stopped walking to look at him.

“That’s madness!” Baekhyun said. “We would be one army against 5.”

“We don’t have enough men. We are the second strongest army in the land behind the Nareans”. Jongin pointed out.

“We are better in tactics and skills” Chanyeol said.

“That doesn’t matter when you have 3/4 of the continent against you.” Junmyeon said.

“We would be slaughtered before we can take over one of their cities” Minseok said.

“Enough!” Chanyeol said impatiently. “I already know that and maybe that is why he is sending us to find magical creatures”. The other 7 men looked at him wide eyed.

“What are you talking about?” Kyungsoo said.

The tall man sighed “He ordered me to gather some men and go to the lands between the kingdoms. He wants us to find witches, fairies, whatever we encounter on our way and bring them with us before the meeting”.

“What does he want with them?” Sehun asked “Magic is forbidden here”.

“He didn’t tell me his plans but I think it has to be related to his other request”. Chanyeol said.

“I don’t think they will be willing to speak to him. He had never being nice to them”. Baekhyun said.

“He said that if they refuse to come, we should arrest or kill them”. Chanyeol said.

“And exactly how are we going to do that?” Junmyeon said “They have magic. We don’t”.

“You can hurt fairies with iron” Minseok answered.

“What about witches and wizards?”. Jongin asked.

“Some said crosses can be effective with them”. Kyungsoo said.

“That’s for vampires” Baekhyun corrected.

“Also for them”. Kyungsoo retorted.

“No” Baekhyun countered back. The two boys started arguing when Chanyeol cut them off.

“Stop it!” He said. “The are not immortals nor invencible”.

“Except for Vampires” Baekhyun murmured and Chanyeol glared at him.

The rest of the boys got quiet and an awkward silence took over the atmosphere. “Let’s just talk tomorrow about this, ok?”. Their Captain said tiredly and the rest nodded. “I would really use a drink right now”.

The boys agreed with him and kept going on their way to the tavern.

It was already past noon. King Athereon and Chanyeol had been talking for several hours now, planning and checking the routes the little army was going to follow into the borders of Tassea.

“Are we clear on the steps to follow?” The King asked.

“Yes, Sir.” Chanyeol answered. “My men are already aware of the situation and they are getting ready to leave at midnight as we speak”.

“Good” The King said. He started walking towards a trunk that was settled in one corner of the office. He opened it and squatted down to look for something inside. After a few seconds he came back to the place where Chanyeol was standing and handed him two jars with different liquids. One had a blood-red colour while the other had an olive-green.

“Put one drop of the red one in every weapon you and the others will carry and the green one saved it for an emergency”.

Chanyeol looked at the jars in his hands. “What are they?”.

“The red one is poison and the other has iron molecules within its mix.” King Athereon said

“Smash it against the floor and it will create a fog against fairies”. The brown haired boy nodded and put them in his pocket.

“Captain” The man said “I expect you will be here in three weeks tops and with good news for me”.

“I’ll do my best to please your wishes My Lord” Chanyeol assured him. The King hummed in response “Go now. And be sure to be careful enough so no one from the others Kingdoms find out about the quest”.

“I will” The boy said “Good night your Highness”.

As Chanyeol exited the room, the King was looking at the map on his desk when a shadow came out from the door that lead to his chambers.

“Are you sure he’s competent enough to do the job?” A feminine voice asked. The King turned to look at the figure now standing next to him.

“So far, he had never failed me” He answered. He took the woman’s hand and squeezed it in a reassuring way.

“He better not” She said and smiled at him wickedly.

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“Come Y/n!” One of the girls called you excitedly. You looked at her and walked towards her direction.

Everyone in the room was practicing how to manifest their powers as most of them were young apprentices. You were the second in command after your grandmother, the head of the coven, and Naima your friend and third in charge. -In every Yule festivities, most of the younger witches receive all their powers and it is up to the more experienced ones teach them how to control them and used them properly. Now with the date approaching you were in charge of seeing this girls learned how to handle and manifest their gifts.-

“I did it. I blew up the apple!” The girl smiled at you as she focused her attention back to the new apple in front of her a couple of meters away. You could see pieces of fruit scattered around the floor, a signal of her previous attempts.

“I can see you did that many times” You said surprised. “But you should rest now, take 30 minutes and come back to it.

“No, I’m ok. Watch”. She lifted both hands quickly and waved them in a semi-circular way. A movement so delicate and yet powerful enough to make the apple and the table beneath it explode.

A blast echoed through the room as pieces of apple and wood flew around. Some of the other girls screamed as they got down on the floor and cover themselves with their arms while others through themselves at the nearest pillars and walls to take cover from the explosion. “Is everyone alright?” You lifted yourself from the ground and looked around the mess. You heard “yes” from several of them and helped the girl next to you to get up.

“Bitsie, are you ok?”. Both of you were dusting off the debris from your clothes and heads.

“Yes” She said. “I’m sorry” she winced at seeing the wrecked scenery before her.

“I thought I had it in control already” She murmured.

“That’s why I told you to rest before you have tried again” You sighed. “When your mind is not focused enough your power can expand without restraints and caused this”. You gestured at the room.

In that moment, the door opened and Naima entered the room hastily. “What happened?” The girl asked shocked at seeing all the chaos around.

“Bitsie make the apple explode along with the table” One of the girls near the door said.

“Is everyone all right?” She yelled and spotted you in the corner of the room. The girls agreed and she came walking towards you.

“Look at you. All covered in dust and apple” Naima told you, trying to suppressed a laugh.

“Well, at least it’s not butter this time” You said.

“Girls, help us clean this mess” Naima said out loud and the people around went to fetch cloths, buckets and brooms, some of them whining.

“Bitsie” You said “I know you’re eager to manipulate your power, but you need to be patient”.

Naima looked at the girl and nodded at your words “We had seen other witches getting on the wrong path due to their power’s thirst. We don’t want that for you or the others.”

“I know” The girl exhaled “I’m truly sorry. It’s just that sometimes I can’t help it”.

“We know. That is why we are here for” Naima said.

“Now, go with the rest. Tomorrow morning you will go with me into the forest” You said.

“Why are we going there?” Bitsie asked you.

“You will have your lesson outside. Maybe being in an open space will help you to focus more and if not, well, at least we could still have a place to practice after all”.

“Ok” she said. “See you tomorrow”. She exited the room with her head hanging low.

“Are you sure that will be a good idea?” The girl standing next to you asked.

“I hope so” You sighed.

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“Ok so, how are we going to know when we find the coven?” Baekhyun asked as they were walking through the forest. It was dawn and they could barely watch where they were stepping into as the fog was covering the ground. “I mean, it’s not like we can go around and said hey, are you in a coven? Can you tell me your location?” Baekhyun said sarcastically.

Around them, the only noises they could hear were branches cracking as they stepped on them, some birds chirping, the hooves and carriage getting pulled by their horses.

“I think I haven’t seen a witch in my entire life”. Jongin said thoughtfully. “How are we supposed to recognize them?”.

“Once I saw one in a witch trial” Junmyeon recalled “Her skin was stuck to her bones and hear face was quite grotesque. She barely had hair and the people around said she had lived over a 1000 years”. Jongin grimaced at the description.

“No one can live that long. Not even witches” Baekhyun said “Or can they?!. What do you say, Chanyeol?”

“I don’t know” The tall boy said, tired of hearing this conversation.

He had seen a few witches too. Pretty much they had looked the same as Junmyeon’s picture them although he didn’t know how old they were. Nor it was an information he would find relevant. This beings were unnatural and Chanyeol didn’t want to have any interactions with them. At least not willingly. He just wanted to get over with this stupid quest from the King, fulfill it and leave the rest to him.

“Some said there are witches that have long nails and use them to get the men’s guts out”. Sehun said “They lured you just as mermaids do and next thing you know they are ripping your guts from your body and eat them in front of you as you are dying agonizingly. It gives them youth”. He poked Baekhyun’s side and the boy let out a scream.

The rest of the boys cackled and his friend slapped Sehun in the head. “Stop it, guys!” Baekhyun said angrily as the black haired boy rubbed his head.

As they were getting nearer to their destination, the first rays of sunshine were visible through the branches and spaces between the trees. Some of the boys were sleepy already so Chanyeol ordered to stop near a pond in order for them to rest and let the horses drink water.

“How come witches have powers and yet they don’t escape from the trials?”. Yixing said inquisitively.

“There are different kinds of witches” Minseok said “There are those who only have powers when they cast spells from a book. Others can have mix blood from other magical creatures or humans and that genes are prevalent in them so magic is not their forte”.

“And the others, the originals as some called them, are the ones whose blood had ancient magic. It had run through their veins and families for centuries”. Chanyeol added.

“So most of the ones that had been in trials were from the other kinds”. Jongdae said. Minseok nodded.

“And we are look-“ Yixing was saying when Sehun cut him off.

”I hear something” Sehun announced.

“Yeah, our voices, fool!” Baekhyun said.

Sehun rolled his eyes and shushed them. “Listen!”

All the boys went still and looked around their surroundings. They could were some voices chattering and getting nearer.

“Cover yourselves” Chanyeol urged them in a low voice. They did it and took their swords and knives out. Luckily for them, the horses and the carriage were a few meters down the place of their bonfire and were well covered by the bushes. Sehun was getting his bow ready when Kyungsoo pulled slightly from his tunic “Get down” he urged him.

“They are coming, look” Brent, another soldier and archer, said and gestured them to the path a few meters above. Their figures were getting closer and once the fog cleared out a bit more, they could see a young woman chatting lively with the girl that was next to her.

“There are just girls” Baekhyun huffed.

“Maybe they are witches” Minseok said.

“We should follow them” Yixing suggested.

“Sehun, Jongin, Minseok and Baekhyun, go after them. Jongdae and Yixing keep a watch on the carriage and the horses.” Chanyeol ordered “The rest will go to grab our things.” Everyone moved quickly, trying not to get noticed as they executed the plan.

“Are you sure it’s ok if we practice here?” Bitsie asked you doubtfully “Of course! It’s early enough for people to use this path” You said cheerfully. The girl hummed but didn’t look at you nor talked more.

“What is troubling your mind Bits?” You asked her.

“How can you be so sure I won’t blow up the whole forest?” She said worriedly. You smiled fondly at her, remembering a young version of yourself full of worry and self-doubt.

“One, you have me and I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen” You said “And two, sometimes stress plays an important part of our lack of concentration. There are people who handle it better than others and it’s something you will learn as time goes by. But now, as a twelve year old girl, I don’t expect you to do that”.

“Maybe being in a closed space with more people around is what gets you worried. The possibility that you could hurt someone, am I right?” You asked. She nodded shyly.

“Everyone have had those kind of fears Bits. I still have them sometimes.” You admitted and she looked at you wide eyed. “You too?” The girl asked you incredulously “How come? You always look so confident”.

“There are times when you need to act like everything it’s fine even if it’s not” you chuckled. Both of you came to a halt in the middle of an open space between the trees. There were already several logs forming a line in the center.

“Ok! Here we are” You announced. “I’m going to put a fruit in every log and you have to make them explode. Just as in the practice room” Bitsie nodded and stood a couple of meters away.

“I can do this” She said to herself and gave an intake of breath.

“What are they doing?” Jongin asked.

He and the others were hiding behind a couple of trees on one side of the place. They could see you and Bitsie clearly but barely understood what you two were talking about.

“Maybe they are going to practice archery” Baekhyun suggested.

“They don’t have a bow with them”. Sehun pointed out.

“An eating contest then?”! Baekhyun said.

“I don’t think they are witches” Jongin said and gestured at Bitsie “She’s just a girl and both look ordinary. Nothing like what Suho said”.

“The older one is very pretty” Baekhyun admitted and Minseok nudged him in the ribs.

“What?! It’s true” Baekhyun complained. They watched you approaching Bitsie and it looked like you were instructing her about something.

“We should leave”. Sehun whispered “It is clear they are not doing anything interes-“. A boom echoed through the glade and all the boys turned to look perplexed at the girls.

“She just...” Baekhyun was saying when Minseok covered his mouth.

“Be quiet” The older one whispered. Another similar sound came after the one they heard and another after that.

“She’s doing it with her hands”. Jongin noticed with some fear in his voice “that means...”

“She’s an original” Sehun completed.

“By the Gods!” Minseok said.” How are we going to catch them?”.

“Catch them?! Nobody said anything about catching witches” Baekhyun said in a rush.

“Then how do you expect we find the place where they live?” Sehun said annoyed “The map says they are in the borders and it could take weeks before we find the right place.”

“Maybe the King wants another kind of witches” Baekhyun tried to sound convincing. Sehun snorted “I can bet you 10 jars of beer that he send us to find them” he pointed out at the women. Baekhyun gulped.

“Ok, this is what are we going to do” Minseok said “There’s a high chance they go that way” He signaled at the little path from where you entered the glade. “We will surround it and two us will be waiting on this side while the others are on that one. We need to separated them.”

“What about their powers?” Jongin said, looking at the others with concern. “Bind their hands and cover their heads with this sacks. Perhaps they cannot used them”. Minseok took the bags and handed them to Jongin and Sehun.

“We are not taking them to the camp, are we?” Baekhyun asked worriedly.

“No!. We are going to interrogate them here. Now, let’s move carefully around the trees,ok?” Minseok said and everyone nodded. “Go!”. All of them started to moved swiftly around the glaze in wait for you two.

“You were great today!” You said at Bitsie. The practice was over and both of you wanted to go back to the house and have a nice supper.

“Thank you” She said happily “I can’t believe I didn’t blow out other things besides the fruit”. “It was quite remarkable” you said “But you still need to practice. Maybe next week you could try with bigger things”. “Like what?” She asked you.

“You already have proved you can do that with furniture as well” You said teasingly. Both were laughing at the memory when you felt someone pulled at your right arm and heard Bitsie screamed.

“No!” She cried out. You were trying to get yourself loose from the man’s grip while another was trying to cover your head with a brown sack.

“Let go of me” You said as you struggled with the man.

“Be quiet” The man behind you said and tightened his grip around your body. You released one of your hands and move it. There was a loud sound coming from the ground and big roots from the trees around emerged and pushed the man in front of you. The one behind you got his legs trapped between the roots and you used that distraction to nudged him in the ribs. His grip loosen and you started running after Bitsie and the men.

“Let her go” You yelled and used your power again. The men were pulled down and you passed them by to get to the girl. She had tripped over because of a rock. You yanked her up and pulled the sack out of her head and untied her hands.

“We need to get to the market. There we could blend and they will lose track of us” You said hurriedly and watch how the men that attack you were getting free from the ties. Bitsie nodded and you took her hand so she could follow after you.

“Run!” You said and both raced across the path. “Stop!” One of the men yelled. He and the rest of them were running behind you. You gazed at them for a brief moment and realized they were getting closer.

“Use your power” you said to Bitsie. “I’m not ready.” There was concern on the girl’s stare.

“It doesn’t matter” You panted “I don’t care if you blow them up or the forest with us in it”. You took an intake of breath as the adrenaline rushed through your veins. “It’s better to die that been enslaved by them”. Bitsie turned her head to look at the men. She lifted her free hand and a second later there was an explosion that send pieces of mud in all directions. You could hear the men grunting but that only slowed down their pace for a moment. Bitsie did it again. The ringing in your ears from the blasts didn’t allow you to hear if they were near. You looked over your shoulder to check if they were out of sight. It only took you that moment when you crashed into someone. The impact made you loose your balance and Bitsie stumbled over you, making both of you fell to the ground.

“Cover their heads” Another men you didn’t recognize yelled at others.

“No, wait!” You said as he was standing next to you and shoved the sack over your head.

“Take them to the camp”. The man with the hoarse voice said. Sehun, Jongin, Minseok and Baekhyun caught up with them.

“You are a bunch of morons” The man snorted.

“Shut up Brent!.” You recognized the man’s voice. It was the same that have fought with you at first.

“Ouch!” You heard Bitsie complained but couldn’t see where she was.

“Be careful Bolson” Another men said.

“She’s a witch. Witches don’t have special treatment” This man had a deeper voice.

“She’s just a girl” Other with a silvery boy said. Well, at least there are ones with a little humanity in them you thought. That didn’t mean what they were doing was right but could considered go easy on them once you figured out how to escape and teach them a lesson.

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The forest was long gone when you heard other men talking. There were noises from horses and a bonfire. You assumed you already had arrive at the camp. You came to a halt and the men behind you and Bitsie forced you to kneel. They took the bags from your heads and you squinted your eyes as they were getting used to the light again.

“Who are you?” Bitsie said.

“I’m the one doing the questions little witch, so be quiet” Brent said.

“Now, here is how it is going to be” He said as he paced around the circle other men had formed around you. “You are not going to talk unless I say so. If I find your answers convincing enough, we will let you live”.

You looked at him full of hatred. If you were alone you wouldn’t mind dying while fighting against them but your main concern was the girl next to you.

“Tell me your names and which coven do you belong to”. The man said.

“Bit...” The girl was saying when you interrupted her.

“She’s Brisellia and I’m Elena” You said quickly.

“Which coven are you part of?” He continued.

“Lirea” You said.

“Where do you live?” He asked. You averted your gaze from the man and kept quiet. You couldn’t tell them the location of the others. He approached you and squatted on the ground in front of you.

“You are not going to answer?” He asked you menacingly.

“No” you said through gritted teeth.

“Alright then” He stand up and grabbed Bitsie by the arm.

“Get up!” He yelled at her as she was crying and trying to stand up.

“Don’t” Jongin wanted to interfere but one of the men held him back.

“Maybe you need a motive to talk”. He said and put his arm over Bitsie’s neck and shoulder.

“You can’t do this” other men interfere and a ruckus broke loose. There were men yelling and trying to get him while other were preventing them to go near you and him.

“You tell me where are the rest of your witches or I’ll break her neck”. He threatened. The was no ounce of doubt in his stare and you knew he wasn’t bluffing about it. You put both hands on the ground and closed your eyes. You were trying to even your breath in order to focus. You felt the soil through your fists and a white mantle lifted around the three of you. It was so thin and through it you could see the other men looking at it in shock.

“End the show now, witch!” He snarled. You set your eyes on him and he winced.

“What are you…?” He tried to say as he was having trouble breathing.

Your nails turned you skin around them red from how hard you were clawing at it. He tried to turned Bitsie’s head to one side but wasn’t able to as his strength was diminishing and collapsed on the floor. You let out a breath as the mantle disappeared and went running towards Bitsie.

“It’s ok now.” You said relieved as the girl cried in your arms.

“Grab them” Someone shouted.

Several men went to check the man lying on the floor. You looked at your surroundings and saw a bunch of men debating who should be the brave ones and tried to get a hold of you.

“Silence!” There was a loud scream and everyone kept still. There was a tall man walking through the crowd with another 2 following his steps. He stood a few feet away and looked around. He had a big frown on his face. His gaze went from the man on the floor to you and Bitsie.

“Someone explain what happened here” He said.

“These are witches Captain!” One man pointed at you two accusingly. “And that one killed Brent”.

“We should burn them” A young man yelled, followed by the agreement of a few.

“He’s just fainted Giggins” Sehun said dismissively.

“He threatened with killing the girl” Kyungsoo explained. The Captain, looked at the last boy who spoke and nodded slightly at him.

“All right everyone, go back to your duties” He yelled.

“You two” He gestured at some soldiers. “Take Brent and put him in a tent”. They moved to get Brent’s body and carried him.

“Minseok” He called one of the men you remembered from the forest. “You and the others were supposed to follow them. What happened?”

“It’s kind of complicated” The shorter man said awkwardly. The tall man sigh in frustration “Go to my tent. I will bring the witch with me so I can confirm the facts”.

“Yes Sir” Minseok said.

“And tell some of your men to keep an eye on Brent. He is not allowed to leave the tent until I spoke with you two”. Minseok nodded and disappeared into the crowd.

“What are you going to do with them, Sir?” Someone said, reffering to you and Bitsie. “I’m going to talk to them, Rollings. “That’s what civilized people do” The Captain said annoyed “go and keep guard of the supplies”. Chanyeol started walking in your direction but you held out a hand.

“Stay away or you will be the next” You warned him.

“Calm down” He showed the palm of his hands to you. “I don’t want to hurt you. I just want to talk”. He was standing three steps away from you. You looked at each other and his gaze settled on Bitsie.

“Please” He offered his hand to you. The man sounded sincere but you still were wary about all of them. You didn’t take his hand and helped Bitsie to lift herself up instead.

“Could you go with me to my tent? I need to talk to you, privately.” He said.

“I’m not going to leave her here” You said.

“Fine. Bring her with you” Chanyeol said and started to walk across the field.

“Y/n” Bitsie sobbed “I want to go now”.

“We are almost over with this”. You said quietly “Be brave just a little more, ok?”. The girl nodded and tried to wipe her tears with her sweater’s sleeves.

You stopped in front of a big tent. The Captain, who was walking ahead of you, step aside and gestured for you to come inside of it. You looked at him hesitantly as you moved forward.

The inside of the tent was big. It had a log on one side of it that was used as a bench, you imagined. The were two tables too, one in the corner that had a bunch of papers and maps scattered around while the other one was in the center with only two chairs, one in front of the other. Since it was noon already, light from outside was illuminating the place.

“I need to discuss an important matter with you” Chanyeol addressed to you. “She can wait here”. He signaled the log. You looked at Bitsie and nodded slightly. “Fine” You said and followed him to the table.

Both took a seat and he said “What is your name?”.

“Tell me yours first”. You answered him.

“I’m Captain Park” Chanyeol said.

“That’s not a name” You pointed out.

“It’s part of it” He retorted.

You glared at him.

“Your name?” He insisted.

“Elena” You answered. Chanyeol look intently at you and smile wryly. “I heard the girl called you Y/n. So either you have two names or you are lying to me”.

“Ok, let’s go with the first option then” You said with a fixed smile.

“Very well Y/n.” He smiled “I’ll call you that because it sound less fake”.

You knew annoyance was visible on your features but tried to hold back that emotion.

“I want to know what happened. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt but bear in mind that everything you tell me, I will discuss it with my soldiers.” He put his back against his chair. “If your story doesn’t match theirs, we will take you and the girl into custody”.

“I will like to see you try” You laughed. “There are over 30 men here. Most of them willing to kill you, as you already noticed”. The Captain said.

“And there’s two of us. Don’t underestimate us” You said.

“Then why don’t you harm the rest of them?”.

“It was something personal with that man. And I was just getting started when you arrived” You emphasized.

He laughed “A lot of people say originals are strong. Maybe you’re not that much after all”.

“We can try that theory if you’re so doubtful about it”. You offered.

He said in all seriousness “I am not afraid of you. I might not have powers but I know how to fight people of your kind”. Your blood boiled at his last words.

“Listen, I just want to go with her” You pointed out at Bitsie without moving your stare from him “She has went through a lot today thanks to your men and that brute” You said angrily. “I don’t care what you think of me or my people but there still are boundaries. She’s a girl, witch or not, and she didn’t do anything wrong. Your men were the ones who attack us first. They put sacks above our heads and tie us in order to bring us here”.

A sound came from the outside of the tent. One side opened and Minseok step inside. “The men are...” He was saying but didn’t get to finish his sentence when Bitsie yelled.

“It was him. He was the one that covered my head with the bag”. You and Chanyeol stared at him.

“I...” Minseok said startled “I told you we didn’t want to hurt you”. Bitsie stared at him angrily and he gulped.

“Bitsie, calm down!” You said to her, worried that she might use her power and put them both in more trouble. She was breathing rapidly. You made a subtle movement with your hand and her breath steadied. Chanyeol’s gaze went from Bitsie to you, wondering what have you done to her. He didn’t want to show any signs of bewilderment so he spoke to the other men in the room.

“Minseok” The man looked at his superior “This lady, claims that some soldiers attack them for no reason. And now the she is accusing you” He pointed at Bitsie. “Care to explain?”.

“It’s true” Minseok admitted “Part of it”.

He came closer to the table “We have doubts about whether they were witches or not. We saw the girl using her powers, practicing. We thought the best would be talk to them straight away instead of looking around the land but we were afraid of her using her powers against us. That is why we tied their hands and cover their eyes.” Minseok said awkwardly.

“We didn’t want to bring them to the camp but they attacked us and ran. We chased them across the forest but Brent and his men found them. You know the rest”. He continued. Chanyeol sighed and rolled his eyes. “You were supposed to followed them not kidnapped them”.

“Oh! How thoughtful” You said sarcastically. “We didn’t do that, Chanyeol” Miseok raised his voice “That part was Brent’s”.

“Fine. I’ll deal with him later”. The Captain said tiredly. “I suppose the others help you, aren’t they?”.

“Yes” Minseok answered.

“On behalf of my soldiers, I apologize” Chanyeol stared directly at you. “To both of you. I expect they do the same”. He stared at Minseok severely and the man followed his apology.

“Bring the others”. Chanyeol ordered “tell them to wait outside”. The shorter man nodded slightly and excused himself from the room.

“I appreciate your manners, Chanyeol” You said.

“I’m a Captain. I prefer you call me by my rank”. Chanyeol said.

You sneered “I’m not part of your Kingdom. Therefore I can speak informally to you as you are doing with me.” The man glared at you. “It’s for courtesy”.

“Sometimes I lack of it” You said arrogantly. “Once you’re soldiers apologize we will go”.

“I’m afraid I can’t allow it” Chanyeol said.

“Why not?” You stood from the chair “You already know we are innocents”. “The thing I wanted to discuss with you is about an entire different matter” Chanyeol stood up from his chair too. “The King of Tassea gave us the quest to find magical creatures and bring them with us to the Palace”.

“What for? Magic is forbidden there” You said “Unless is for trials, we aren’t allowed to come in”.

“I can assure you is not for that” Chanyeol said.

“Then?” You said inquisitively.

“He wishes to speak to the leaders of the covens and clans before the meeting of Arethea.” The man explained.

“Your King isn’t known for talking to our kind” You pointed out.

“I know. But apparently he has change his mind” Chanyeol said.

“Good for him but we are not going with you” You said sharply. “I don’t want you to go with us” He explained. “I want to speak to your leader. She is the one the King wants to meet”.

“You are insane if you think I’m taking you to her”. You said.

“You will do it. If it’s in good or bad terms is up to you” Chanyeol said confidently.

“How would I know this isn’t a trap for you to imprison us?” You told him.

“You don’t. It’s a leap of faith” Chanyeol answered “And it goes both ways. I don’t know if once we are there you and the rest of the coven will murder us”. You didn’t want to admit it but he had a point. After all, you were complete strangers to one another.

“What will we win in return?” You said inquisitively.

Offered them whatever they want The King’s words resonated in Chanyeol’s mind.

“Whatever you want” He said. “Although the terms of the agreement will be approved by the King himself. For now, I can promise you and the girl will return to your home safely”. You were silent for a moment. Planning your next move. You knew your grandma wasn’t in conditions of traveling but the only thing you wanted right now was to get Bitsie to the institute. Feel safe again with your sisters around you.

“I have conditions” You said.

He lifted a brow. “Named them”.

“You won’t take all this men with you” You told him “You can choose 7 men, excluding you of course. You will be the only one that will enter the institute and if my leader don’t accept your proposal, you will leave along with the rest of them. For good”. Chanyeol look at you quizzically for a minute before he spoke again. “Fair enough” He said. You exhaled.

“But I warn you. If you try to pull any trick on us, I will kill you” Chanyeol said. His features hardened.

“I could say the same for you” You told him without a hint of mockery in your face.

“Do we have an agreement then?” He asked you and extended his hand for you to shake.

“Yes” You said and gave his hand a firm squeeze. You wanted to believe he will honor his words but you weren’t entirely sure about that.

Guess you will have to see as time passes by, if your instinct was right about him.

Hello everyone! Thank you for the Christmas wishes and for your requests. I hope you like this new series and enjoy this chapter. I am feeling very proud of myself for finishing it before the year is over and I’ll come up with the next one as soon as possible . If you have any comments regarding this chapter feel free to send me a message. In these times I think it would help me a lot. Also, I wanted to let you know that I’m working in your Christmas scenarios and the other 2 series. I’ll try my best in order to post them during this week. I hope you all have had a good Christmas as well <3 Take care of yourselves ^^

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