Trying to find God again is hard.
Where am I even supposed to start? I grew up Catholic yet I never finished the Bible. I never know how I’m supposed to pray other than talking to God like he’s my bff, and over all I’m just stuck in this loop up trying to find proof that God is actually here for me but I get nothing. I’ve really been trying but I feel like I’ve hit a plateau. If anyone has any tips for me that would be great because I feel so stuck. I don’t attend church mainly because my family doesn’t like going and I can’t drive so that really isn’t a option for me at the moment either 😭
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Face reveal.
A lesbian who loves to Veil. I have found hope, strength, and trust in the Lord through veiling. I am not sure if I will do this indefinitely but right now I understand its power and its purpose. It is my spiritual umbrella that reminds me that God can lead me out of the storm I am going through this season if I remain strong. I do not know where I am going to go from here. I am rittled with anxiety about my future. For the first time in my life, I have no clue where I am going to be in the next 6 months. For the first time in my life, I am submitting to the fact I have no control over my current situation. I have completely given it up to the Lord. I am protected, and I honor my trust in him.
Additionally, the veil is a representation that I am changing. That God is changing me and my heart. That it is God who is working on me. That I am in a state of metamorphosis. I am undergoing great changes, and I am not ready to be revealed. These changes were brought by God and it shows that I am a work a progress and I let him work through me.
I give my heart up to the Lord who blesses me. It is great to give him thanks and praise. May he continue to have mercy upon me and protect those across the world who most need his mercy.
Glory Be to El Padre El Hijo y Espritu Santo as it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be a world without end.
Amen
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cw - talk of religion + queerness
i’m not sure if anyone will see this but i rlly just need to vent for a minute and rather than keep it private id love for someone going thru this to connect with it/engage.
i’m a catholic. and im queer. and im not going to sugar coat it, i am struggling.
i’m young, and a girl who likes girls.
a girl who loves girls.
i’ve spent countless hours praying and crying in confession.
i’m lucky enough to have other queer catholics in my community but i simply cannot escape myself.
my priest is an old man, someone who says i’m confused. and i am. i cannot reject His words.
more than anything i wish to deny myself as so many saints before me. refuse to give into temptation and sin and to put Him above all.
but the hardest part for me is that this sin is soft.
this sin is cozy and warm and gentle and kind,
this sin is flowers, and freshly fallen snow, and a love that i’ve never experienced but dream about every waking moment.
this sin is idealized and safe and to deny it now, though for the greater good, is painful in ways i cannot describe. it feels like bits of my heart are breaking that never even fit in the first place.
my God is my everything, and the mere thought of denying Him or straying from His path is not an option.
my God is good and all knowing and i know He knows my pain. i hold nothing against Him.
i am plagued by a sin, a beauty unattainable. not an apple on a tree, but the very person to bite it.
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Source: Common Lives Lesbian Lives; A Lesbian Quarterly ( #29 - Winter 1989 )
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butch who views me as his own personal god! a beautiful butch so devoted to me that hes convinced the wet from my cunt is his ticket to salvation- butch who looks at me between my thighs lovedrunk and eyes full of reverence
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Introduction <3
Hi! I’m Lena (fake name of anonymity because id prefer if people didn’t find my socials). I wanted to give y’all a little rundown of who I am and what u might find on my blog!
For starters, I’m 17, turning 18 in a few months (scary), I’m a lesbian, and I’m slowly but surely rebuilding my connection with God. I grew up Catholic and I spent almost 5 years away from him after I realized I was queer but now that I’m older, I realized that God made me this way on purpose and I don’t have to be alone for the rest of my life just because of my sexuality. I’m allowed to fall in love because at the end of the day my love isn’t hurting anyone. Call me a cherry-picker if you want but this is what I have come to believe.
I’m trying to rebuild my faith, seeing as though I never got too deep in the first place, aka I never finished reading the Bible but I’m starting from scratch and starting my reading. I pray when I’m alone to try and build the connection because even though my family is religious (yet very accepting and supportive of my sexuality), I’m embarrassed to tell them I want to find God again.
That enough of my lore though! Here are some other things y’all will find on here
-modest fashion
-mental health discussions
-catholic architecture
-MITSKI (I love mitski she’s my bae)
-general coquettish aesthetics
-sonny angels
-calico critters
-and my everlasting love of K-pop and other artists and fandoms
Hope y’all will join me on my adventure!
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