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#gonna aim to post every weekend starting now
riaki · 7 months
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> under warm kitchen lights and puffy silk sheets dad!aki hayakawa x reader hcs/drabbles
man... i finally finished this. oh my word wc: 3.2k :cry: cw: fem!reader (use of mother terms but no explicit description), brief mention of hospitals, kids omg so scary boy n girl not proofread!!
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i always find myself writing waaayyyyyy too much for these 'short' drabbles/hcs/whatever they are. i think this one got even worse than the yoshida one. anyways its ok cus i live laugh love aki
also thank u @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat for feeding me ideas with canon hayakawa family interactions :3
it's hard for him, to say the least.
while parenting is a new experience for the both of you, it's more than appropriate to say aki's the least bit familiar. putting up with denji and power (begrudgingly, he'll tell you-- although you never believe it) certainly has him battle-ready and prepared, albeit with a slight darkening of the circles under his velvety blue eyes and a minute downward tug on his chapped lips that need yours on them for rejuvenation when he thinks about the tiring journey lying ahead on a path of family that's only been slightly worn. but then you smile, squeezing his calloused hands that are bigger than yours and intertwining your fingers gently, and he forgets there's supposed to be blood between them as he presses a light kiss to your forehead and tells you in that smooth velvety voice that he's ready for whatever pandemonium your rascals will cause as long as you're there with him.
truth be told, there's nothing in this damned world that aki wants-- yearns for than a life of normality with you. he doesn't have a lust for a revenge that festers and infects, anymore; the only thing on his mind when his work gives the luxury of a time of rest is how wonderful it'd be to start a lively little family of your own as you smile at him or card your hands through his damp hair when you share a lukewarm bath surrounded by cold austere tiles in the darkest hours of the morning, having found him covered in a thin veneer of chilling sweat only moments ago, knuckles pale white as he clung to the duvet. more often than not you find a knot between his dark brows; a heavy weight on his shoulders that's perceivable but frustratingly intangible-- like an ugly patch of weeds in an old, worn garden that's not worth saving, but still has enough life within it to be marred by rot and degradation of soil. but when you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him flush to your chest, so close to your heart-- the place where he thinks he deserves to be furthest from-- when your lithe fingers work so gently it's almost painful to soothe the crease on his nose bridge and the tension between his bare shoulders, he's so bold as to dare to just hope for a life further than nights of hollow intimacy that, in vain, attempt to sew and patch up the gaping valley between the wants of his heart and of his mind. further than exhausted mornings littered with extinguished cigarette butts and framed with curling smoke, pale sunrises and slow, languid movement that reflect the growing shadows beneath his tired eyes; further than the bitter scent of the black coffee he always makes for himself because the pathetic attempt at at romantic in him insists that your sweet lips are the sugar and cream to his life enough. but in truth he can-- and thought he'd always be able to taste that overwhelming tang of something equitable to sourness on his tongue when he downs the bland caffeine, like the feeling that crashes and overwhelms him when he realizes that what you have right now? is just an illusion for his poorly-kept facade of something he wishes could be more. something with a shared bed and an extra room painted bright pastel, a bunk bed tucked into the corner and kids' toys scattered all over the place.
(and as much as you tell him otherwise, some small part of him that he's tucked into the darkest recesses of his mind will always, always believe that you deserve someone immensely better than him-- better than a cynical devil hunter with nothing to offer but years of bottled tears, unspoken words that die on his parched tongue, and withered feeling in his heavy limbs that come with the sensation of dragging himself through the pool of molasses that is the routine of life-threatening missions he throws himself into by a hollow ambition. but he's never, and if he's being honest, he doesn't want to have the heart to end things with you. and imagining you, holding hands with someone else, laughing that bubbly bright melody and smiling that cheery grin in any direction but his, makes his heart hurt uncomfortably and his cold blood boil.)
and so, when the fever dream that's your wedding day comes around, he wishes he had met you early enough to be addicted to the taste of your lips instead of the rough, paper end of a cigarette and the numbing thrill that settles in his diluted veins at the hit of nicotine clogging his lungs, before it's disillusioned and the despondent cycle repeats. you don't know the half of what he'd give for that. either way, he believes it a miracle that he even got the chance to see the starstruck look in your gorgeous eyes when he slid that silver band onto your ring finger; that he lived to see the day where the familiar touch of your tender hands coupled with the refreshing bite of cold metal on his skin, treating him like some elegant thing in your garden; a lily of the valley when in reality he's just some weed that should've been rid of. a flower who's bell shaped bunches of milky petals hang from the stalk like a condemned man on a court platform, yet still so bright and graceful you could forget the plant was poisonous. when aki had laid eyes on that pretty ring, tucked into a black box of deep velvet on a shaded patch of street one sunny afternoon, he immediately thought of how nicely the elegantly-cut gem would match your dazzling irises; he takes extensive care to make sure the luster suits as an addition to your appearance instead of a distractor-- after all, when he looks at his then future spouse, he wants to be drawn to your eyes, then the ring tying you two together like a red string on your pinky fingers. that, and the way your gaze will soften as it lands on him, in the way that could only happen when the purest angel from heaven chooses to spot the bastard straight from hell out of the crowd who dared to nose his way into your ethereal presence. it's truly befitting, he thinks; your touch is featherlight even when all he does is weigh you down like a ball and chain locked to your ankle, bound by softly-spoken vows and a promise amongst the white of veils and pretty cream flowers. and aki is a selfish man, so he's only glad he decided to weave your fates together, even if it meant the good and bad mingled to paint a splash of gray on love's canvas.
that's the story of your love on weighted scales that runs through his buzzing mind the night your sweet little kids ask their mama to recount the tale of your plunge into devotion together to them, far different than the telling words which seem to sweeten tenfold as they fall from your lips onto eager ears that soon turn deaf, sleeping soundly in your arms. for all the aloof, coldness and silence he's ever turned out into the harsh world your family lives and breathes in, aki's surprisingly loving as a father-- he can't help the gentle soft spot he has for your children when he remembers the big, teethy grins with little cinnamon pastry crumbs scattered around their curved lips and round cherry cheeks are a result of your combined efforts; the streak of tenderness you unearthed in him finds itself being yanked wide open by two pairs of small, grubby hands that are tiny enough to wrap around the length of his thumb, like a little pair of gloves that sponge the inpurity from his hands and make his eyes soften, crinkle around the edges in the way that you love. it's certainly not an unfamiliar feeling; the one invoked deep within his hardened chest buds and unfurls within his organs when your kids take their first breath of fresh air-- well, as fresh as clinical hospital air and stark white lights can get-- is the same one that hit him like a truck when his gaze inevitably finds its way back to you every moment you're near him. cupid's arrow has long burrowed into the cavity of his chest, and if he's honest, he doesn't mind at all. if you had the energy to, you would've snuck a quick picture, if not mental, and made a little sweet teasing fun of him for being so dumb-- no, starstruck; a fool absolutely enamored with two little reflections of you and him. the product of literal years in blood, sweat and tears; maybe some coffee, and definitely some love.
and while aki may involuntarily be an intrinsic liar to his very core by nature (you still love him either way, even when he tells you he tried to stop your baby boy from crawling onto the kitchen counter over the sink and clambering onto two shaky toddler legs to paw at the jar of peanut butter in your cabinet), you're not. so you'll enjoy the strawberry blush that seeps its way across the soft skin of his cheeks that you've mapped with fluttering kisses and trembling hands when you tell him just how much of a great father you think he is to your kids, on the nights when he gets home with sufficient energy to whip something up for the haven of cozy warmth he calls 'home'. you'll prep a warm stew together that makes your daughter's mouth water and eyes go round as saucers as she clings to aki koala-bear style, legs wrapped around his neck and fingers curling into his raven hair as she watches him stir the broth with one hand (the other resting firmly, yet gently on her ankle) to melt the icicles clinging to the awnings of your windows for frigid winters. or, maybe some cold soba for those humid summer nights to enjoy amongst the symphony of cicada buzzes and city sounds, watching lights flash by as you laugh and reach out to wipe the soup off of your son's cheeks when the noodle he was indulging on goes up a little too fast, missing the way your husband's eyes fall on you ever so affectionately. you'll enjoy a sweet, tender kiss in the golden hazy glow of your warm kitchen bubble, full of lively mirth as you carve out silly little smiley faces and stars out of potatoes and bits of cucumber and carrot. on the rare occasion you decide it's a good idea to let your kids contribute a little, the immediate and guilty regret you feel when you watch your daughter slip up and knick her little finger gets washed away by a familiar, blooming feeling of adoration, almost sickeningly sweet in its intensity as you pause to watch aki kiss away the beads of ruby red blood welling on the cut, rubbing her 'boo-boo' so tenderly it makes your heart hurt as you gently plaster a cute sunflower bandaid over the cut while your baby girl stares at your husband with such wonder you think he might be a knight-in-shining-armor in her wide round eyes. and it makes his bleeding heart skip a beat when you tell him you see him the same way, too. there's always guaranteed to be a fresh plate of intricate bunny-shaped apple slices as dessert after dinner, and on slow nights spent in the company of family, there'll be a quick and intense battle of rock paper scissor or sticks between the love of your life and your beloved children on who'll be the lucky winner to put their head in your lap tonight.
(although, aki rarely lets himself win, because he knows he'll be able to later that night if not in that fond moment, sure to become a treasured memory.)
aki sees himself as a good father; he's strict when he needs to be, and he always tries to make time for his kids. he's even stopped smoking in front of them; in the house, as a whole. he had to pepper you with a few sweet, slow and intentional kisses and light-hearted apologetic words when you demanded to know why your requests for him to stop slowly killing himself with each drag fell to deaf ears, but suddenly you got a little more intimate and out popped a few kids-- and he'd stopped. of course, those were enough to pacify you; he made your resolve weak, like the sweet wobbly jello you indulged your daughter to as you watched your husband work out a crossword puzzle with your son. sometimes, you have to remind him sternly not to curse in front of his kids. but when he reminds you of the vehement stream of swears that always left you when you had to change less-than-pleasant diapers in your earlier parenting years, he’ll chuckle at the flush on your face, because you seem to elicit a lot of those from him. he’ll smile, because he’s finally found something worth the effort. and he'll run a hand through your hair and press a kiss to your forehead because you've made him capable of caring (and he knows how to distract you). sometimes, though, he thinks he's a little too soft on their pleading looks and puppy eyes on the nights when lightning streaks across the sky in frightening arcs, claps of thunder rumbling across the dark clouds when the streets of tokyo are enveloped in curtains of rain showers, when one (or both) of your beloved kids peeks their head from the doorway, a little 'can i sleep with you guys?' escaping as a timid peep. he watches in a sleepy sort of amusement as you nod, one hand lazily curling around your waist to keep you close to his side as he rests his chin on your shoulder. and it's your turn to stifle your amusement when a small, quiet mumble of protest leaves his mouth as your kid sidles into the covers between the two of you, effectively splitting you from your husband. if he was impatient, you know he'd have half the mind to pick them up and plop them at the edge of the bed to have you all to himself, but on most nights he'll just observe in quiet affection when you scoop up your son or daughter in your arms, cradling them to your chest and playing with that head of soft hair, humming gently in a way that makes his heart melt at the edges
sometimes, when 'uncle' denji and 'auntie' power are over, they'll poke fun at him in their usual, disrespectful and chaotic manner, because it doesn't take a pair of keen eyes to see the way he looks at you like you've hung the very constellations in the sky; like the stellar designs in the firmament were all carefully crafted by your hand. he's no overdone zodiac freak, but he dares to say the stars aligned the night he was finally able to call you his and only his. denji and power get along incredibly well with his kids; it almost makes him jealous. like you, his resolve is incredibly easy to weaken with the right expression and the right words; your kids must've picked up a few tricks from your book, because they know exactly how to play him into the palm of their tiny little hands. denji and power spoil them to no end; the wonder duo indulge the kids through games of tag and roughhousing, treating them to a wide array of candy and sweets that guarantee a doctor's visit the following week. he swears the pinch between his eyes you worked so hard to eliminate returns little by little when he watches them run around the place he used to call his safe haven, leaving a trail of absolute destruction and havoc in the form of torn magazines, splintered puzzle pieces, apple sauce sludge, tiny lego blocks (that leave a lifetime of pain), and pairs of his socks. it only gets worse when they learn how to negotiate; he makes a mental note to blame denji and power, because there's no way in hell your children figured out how to bargain from you or him. whines of "aww, but uncle denji lets me take the toys outside, dad!" and "buy me that neko charm, or else i'll tell mom you knocked over her plant pot yesterday!" (which, for the record, isn't true. that was 'auntie' power.) that being said, it's a given family outings are narrowly avoided disasters; as the kids grow, aki swears he'll have to start keeping them on a leash, or they might end up accidentally shoplifting your local 7/11's supply of sour gummy cubes, or have fed daffodil seeds to each stray cat on your condo's street under one blink of a weary eye. at the end of the day, he always caves with an exasperated sigh and an irritated 'fine. but don't tell your mom, okay?'. after all, he's always been a sucker for you; who's to say he's not the same with your kids?
unserious hcs... :3
def the type of dad to mutter 'no she didn't' or 'they probably deserved it' under his breath when ur daughter's school principal calls u both in to tell u she stuck her chewed melon gum in three different girls' hair that day
unreasonably competitive w his children. god knows why
yells at ur kids a lot and starts pouting like the grown ass man he is when u scold him for it ("sorry, love. i got used to it. power and denji were a hell of a handful.")
tucks them both in n denies it with everything in him when u ask if he likes making them beg for goodnight smooches
tells them to fuck off (in childrenspeak) when its ur marriage anni / date night
when they were rlly young, u guys used to all do family showers and or baths together but then water would get everywhere and the rubber duck would be fought over n bathbombs would overflow and the kids would get mad at each other so u dont do that anymore...
an absolute goof and doesnt know what the hell hes doing at first... one time ur son was choking on a cherry pit and he didnt know what to do so he just. shook him. by some miracle it worked (if it was denji or power he wouldve js smacked their back unnecessarily aggressively)
unrolls his cigarettes and makes origami shapes out of them; once ur daughter got her ears pierced he made a pair of crane earrings for her from the paper (clean ofc. i hope)
thoroughly enjoys forcing himself into mother daughter nights and he grumbles but secretly loves when ur daughter practices makeup on him or braids his hair
hopes and prays like an idiot that his kids see him as a cool epic devil hunter awesome sauce dad and not a silly pathetic failwife househusband (that's only for u to think)
stitches up any clothing, pillow cases or stuffed animals that r falling apart, also makes sure that no color bleeds when washing clothes and that nothing shrinks cus he does all the laundry for evryone
helps u make a family photo scrapbook and tape polaroids to ur fridge. lets the kids cut out patterns and shapes (his fav r the nutrition facts for some weird reason) from their juiceboxes and kids' magazines to put in the scrapbook
whenvr ur napping he always tells them to shut up. or he just forces them to nap too so he can be lazy and crawl into bed w u
a very good dad !!
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hes such a loser oh no.. i should've just used the unserious hcs for the entire thing. i rambled im sorry it will happen again. i love himr
my (riaki) stuff. don't repost and/or plagiarize !
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vynnysvalley · 5 months
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꒰୨୧ Project Sekai  - My Favorite 2023 Commissioned Song For Each Group  
Woah, another Project Sekai post. I need to start posting about other franchises lol.
I was going to post this before 2024 but I was on vacation for most of the winter break and then I wanted to finish the Kanade Fragment Sekai analysis and THEN school got in the way, but hey I’m here now!
I’m just gonna be poorly bullet-pointing my thoughts since 1) I’m lazy and 2) If I ever want to do full-on analyses for these songs then I still have material to work with. 
Note: These will be songs released in the JP server since those songs are completely new to the franchise.
ˏ°•⁀➷・VIRTUAL SINGERS
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“Everything’s gonna be alright. Creators of the next generation.”
I’m Mine - halyosy ft. VIRTUAL SINGERS
━●─────── 0:39
Nostalgic in every sense of the word; reminds me of the Project Diva games 
This is probably some of my favorite tuning in the game all the VOCALOIDs sound so good 
I love all the electricity and mineral symbolism in the lyrics it’s literally the coolest thing 
Speaking of which the fucking “a cobalt, coral, almandine red…” etc. etc. goes SO HARD I keep replaying that bit because it’s so good 
Also the references to halyosy’s previous VOCALOID songs are really cute 
There literally couldn’t have been a better VIRTUAL SINGERS song for Project Sekai’s 3rd anniversary it feels like a massive love letter to both the Project Sekai fandom and the Vocaloid fandom
ˏ°•⁀➷・Leo/need
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“As I look back, all of them have become a constellation.” 
Hoshi wo Tsunagu (Connecting the Stars) -  40mP and Hifumi ft. Leo/need x KAITO
━●─────── 0:39
This is supposed to be an Ichika focus song but it does such a good job at conveying Leo/need’s arc as a whole like this is THEIR song 
This song is so oversaturated in sweetness that I’m going to be sick /pos it’s so cute I love their little friend group 
The instrumentals are so so good and they all get a chance to shine (my favorite is probably the guitar) 
The references to everyone’s first focus events and their character arcs is like the cherry on top 
Everyone sounds so pretty, I especially like the harmonies between Ichika and KAITO
This song feels like an acknowledgment of all obstacles they’ve faced and a celebration of a new beginning for the band and it just makes me ldksjflk
ˏ°•⁀➷・MORE MORE JUMP!
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“The glittering lights and the falling shadows, I want to love them all.” 
Momoiro no Kagi (Peach-Colored Key) - iyowa ft. MORE MORE JUMP! x Megurine Luka
━●─────── 0:39
This song sounds beyond divine and has that perfect bittersweet mix of melancholy and joy
Something about the instrumentals in this song scratches my brain in the best way possible ESPECIALLY the piano 
Also incorporating morse code into the song is such a cool idea like??
AIRI’S VOCALS?? SOOO STRONG AND MELODIOUS I LOVE GETTING TO HEAR HER SING LIKE THIS 
This song was so good that I went ahead and read the event story for it and god damn this song did the event storyline justice
I love how uncertain yet optimistic the lyrics are it ties into MMJ’s whole theme of finding light in the darkness 
ˏ°•⁀➷・Vivid BAD SQUAD
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“Just like that, what we yearned for is on the other side.”
Beyond the Way - Giga ft. Vivid BAD SQUAD x Hatsune Miku
━●─────── 0:39
Yeah yeah I know I’m sooooooooo original, if it makes things better it was close between this and Gekokujou 
Not only does Beyond the Way go hard as hell (I mean, it’s by Giga so no surprise there), but it shows just how far VBS has come since READY STEADY 
I was blown away by how crisp and in sync everyone sounds the mixing and line distribution is peak 
The VOCALS. The singing is BEYOND INCREDIBLE (no pun intended), especially during the rap bits and the chorus 
My friend and I freaked out when Akito said “Find the way!” and Kohane said “Ready Steady? Get out the way” we love references
I love how confident VBS has become in their skills and how they’re evolving from solely wanting to challenge RAD WEEKEND to aiming to go beyond that and pioneer their own legacy
ˏ°•⁀➷・Wonderland x Showtime
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“Ain’t no stopping me. Now, it’s showtime!!”
Mr. Showtime - Hitoshizuku-P×Yama△ ft. Wonderland x Showtime x Megurine Luka
━●─────── 0:39
Wonderland x Showtime + a song with a jazzy feel to it + Tsukasa focus event = An absolute banger 
These are 100% some of the best Tsukasa vocals we’ve gotten in the entire game like his VA has really gotten accustomed to singing in Tsukasa’s voice so applause to him 
Also I like Emu’s little shriek and Tsukasa’s “slay it” they’re so silly wtf 
Yama giving the lyrics double meanings/concepts to portray Tsukasa’s mindset/perception of the world is the most genius thing ever I’m going insane 
The 2D MV is SO GORGEOUS literally one of the best 2D MVs so far 
Great song about embracing the unpredictability of show business and persevering through the adversities that come with it (at least that’s my interpretation of it) 
ˏ°•⁀➷・Nightcord @ 25:00
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“So in this seemingly collapsing spiral, let’s dance, dance together.”
Twilight Light - toa ft. Nightcord @ 25:00 x Hatsune Miku
━●─────── 0:39
You don’t know how long it took me to decide between Twilight Light and Engeki (Theatre) because I am so madly in love with both songs (and I may have a slight Mafuyu bias) 
Literal embodiment of “hey everything may have gone/be going to shit but at least we still have each other!"
I really hate to admit this but this song made me cry the lyrics are so comforting and everyone’s vocals are so soft and beautiful (including Miku) 
“The melodies that we create, the words that we pull in, the colors that intertwine together, and the scenes that are stitched together” do I even need to say anything about how good this line is??? 
Also the lines where Kanade and Mafuyu sing together and Ena and Mizuki sing together GAH regardless of whether you ship them or not you have to admit that their relationships with each other are so touching 
A very different but very welcome tonal shift from Composing the Future; this song is somber yet hopeful and I adore seeing Nightcord be able to find solace in each other 
ˏ°•⁀➷・Final Words 
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TITLE SCREEN JUMPSCARE
This post is already so corny so uh blah blah blah I love Project Sekai blah blah blah thanks producers for creating such amazing contributions to the game blah blah blah don’t kill me for this post please it’s just my silly little opinion okay bye have a nice day <33.  
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thunderheadfred · 1 year
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Life stuff update!
Haven't posted about this first bit anywhere because... wow personal, but it's been a majority chunk of life lately.
Husband put in his notice at his current teaching job a while back. He's been working there for 8 years and is supposedly one of their most valued teachers, yet he barely takes home $100 more per paycheck than when he started. Plus our insurance is insane, taking most of his check every month whilst covering literally fucking nothing (we are still paying off my doctor-ordered biopsy!). PLUS his commute is fucking ludicrous - in the winter he regularly drives over 3 hours a day to a shit job that doesn't pay anything. I barely see him for a hour or two each day during the school year.
Bio clock is ticking, just saying. Never really had that baby-wanting impulse until very recently, and there was absolutely zero possibility of us starting a family while he's at this job. No money, no time, no medical support.
So. Bye. After talking to a therapist to help us through the plunge, we finally decided enough was enough.
He doesn't have another job lined up after summer school, so in August we have zero certain income. Neither off us is particularly panicked about this; the hiring wave for fall teaching positions has yet to happen, and there are several things he can do even if he can't find a full-time job at a local district.
What's looking most likely is actually that he'll juggle part-time jobs for a while. Subbing or other work at a district he's interested in will help him get a foot in the door, meanwhile an afternoon or weekend cashier job at the co-op down the street (where I used to work) has some distinct benefits. First off, he could WALK to work, and the co-op offers higher hourly rates and better promotional opportunities than his current "salaried" teaching job. Add on a big discount at the place where we buy most of our groceries anyway...
Anyway. That's been a lot.
Meanwhile I've been doing the housewife thing. Which actually entails more than just "chores" - I've been doing a huuuuge amount of work on my mental and physical health. I've lost 40 pounds (with 60+ to go) and have completely changed my eating, which has helped immeasurably with CFS, Depression, and life in general. I've started socializing again after years of serious, life-altering anxiety. Basically, I'm getting my life back. Or maybe getting my life for the first time? I was so mentally ill for so long that this really feels like the first time I've been genuinely balanced... maybe ever?
Whether that new peace of mind encourages me back into fandom I have no idea. Fandom social mores seem to have shifted over the years. Maybe it's just the glimpses I see now and then, but the Internet as a whole doesn't seem too anonymous or even like... baseline compassionate for anyone anymore. That's probably a matter of what you make of it, but even so, I'd be lying if I said spending my time in fandom spaces hasn't lost most of its personal appeal. I've been much happier offline, so that's where I've been. I do miss my friends, and I wish they lived down the street and not inside the scary computron. It'd be great to write again, but my interest in fandom work might be over. I'll never say never, but right now I just don't see it. Maybe someday I finally get back into the habit; but it's gonna happen in its own time if it does.
Lately I've been working on my YouTube thing, though where that'll end up nobody knows. It's certainly not a serious money-making prospect, nor am I aiming to make it one. YouTube actually scares the ever-loving shit out of me, so it's pretty much a deliberate mental health exercise. My whole attitude toward it has been "stress less, make more." So I treat it kind of like a journal of the nail shit that has taken over my life (lolllll), and a chance to pay forward all the relaxation I've gotten over the years watching Nail YouTube. It'd be nice if I could eventually have enough subs to maybe pay for some nail supplies or get some free PR or something, but that's about as ambitious as I get.
Okay my fingers are tired
love you byyyyyeeeeeeeeee
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thompsborn · 3 months
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some things:
my birthday is friday? what the fuck?
i’m currently working on the chapter five homeward bound recap (been doing them on this thread for my own sake to help me make sense of the fic so far because my outlining has been disorganized and i am confused lmao) and will be posting it in the next like hour ish
i keep trying to give myself dates to update homeward bound by and have missed every single one of them because life is fucking insane, so i am no longer making any promises and am instead just aiming for “as soon as i can”
that being said, i need to do these chapter recaps in order to figure out how i was chapter 17 to look, i’ve tried to write it like 7 times but with the outline being so messy i keep not knowing what information is already in the fic and what information hasnt been revealed yet, SO
i’m gonna finish the chapter recaps first! my goal is to do one a day starting today until they’re all done, but with my birthday being on friday and life just being insane in general, i can’t promise anything. but the first four are already done, i’m like halfway through chapter five right now, so that means i have about 11 1/2 chapters left, so i think it’s safe to say i should be done with the recaps by not this weekend but next weekend
slight hiccup: that same weekend (23rd/24th) is the weekend i’m spending with two of my friends because we all have march birthdays. technically we’re hanging out the 24th-27th and i have those days off from work but we have many a plans, but still, that means if i’m not done with the recaps before we hang out, i won’t be able to finish them until after instead. so, end of march is a more realistic timeline for that lmao
diabetic peter fic will definitely be updated way sooner than homeward bound tho bc it is like 99% written, i just decided to rewrite part 5 but still, that will not be an insanely long wait
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ajthinks · 1 year
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Royal Road in Review
Ok, I've definitely learned some things during this month of posting Dungeons of Danrya to Royal Road.
Rapid posting gets your fiction seen by more eyes. This is kinda obvious.
Community engagement raises the rating on your fiction, which increases how many people see your fiction. Again, sorta obvious.
Review swaps are somewhat essential if you don't have a reader-base to pull from elsewhere.
Ok... 2 and 3 kinda go together. The more you hang out in a community, the more people will poke around your profile and see what you write. You can talk to people who read and write similar things and get some good readers that way. Obvious. But the biggest boost to Dungeons of Danrya ranking has been reviews.
And the quickest way to get reviews is to swap reviews: I review your fiction, you review mine. I've stuck to honest reviews so far, because I'm nice enough as is to sugarcoat shit. I don't want to promise 5 stars and then end up hating the story or characters or grammar. If I rave about your story it'll be because I actually love it and nothing less.
The good news is most people take the little niggling things you write in reviews and try to figure out what they can change to make it better. You can chat with other writers about how you write vs how they write, what works for their story and what doesn't, what's a personal taste and what's off. Which is really cool! It shows a willingness to learn and grow as writers, which makes for a healthier community overall (imho).
But (and you might have seen this twist coming a mile away) some people don't like when you give them less than 5 stars or mention the less-than-stellar qualities of their writing. And then they review your fiction and bomb it to high hell. Hmm, yes, very mature. It wouldn't bother me so much if such reviews actually had any usable criticism or the reviewer was open to clarifying what didn't work for them.
So, Royal Road's ranking & review swappery isn't a perfect system by any means, but it works decently well for what it needs to do, which is raise the likelihood that readers will find your fiction on Royal Road.
As far as community engagement goes, it's definitely not enough to throw up your story and sit back. Humans are social creatures. So you kinda have to do the social thing. But the RR forums are pretty chill, safe places to find readers and fellow writers. I found some new favorite stories knocking about too.
There's also the official RR discord server. I'll admit, I'm not as active on there as I probably should be. But at this point I have my favorite writing discords that I spend a lot more of my social time on. And they're specifically 18+, so I don't feel weird about others complaining about their teachers when I myself teach for a living. ^^; YMMV
Now, let's get into something more enjoyable: statistics!
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This is the rating for Dungeons of Danrya, from first published chapter to present day. It's done pretty well so far, aside from a brief dip down.
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And this is the current standing: ranking, rating, follower count, etc. I'm not gonna lie, I found it stupidly easy to obsess over this line this entire past month. Lesson learned, now I only let myself look on the weekends.
So, in summary, what have I learned that could be potentially passed on to some newbie just starting out on Royal Road?
Don't start posting until you have a backlog.
And when you do have a backlog, don't post it all at once. One chapter a day seems to be the ideal, but only if your backlog's big enough.
Keep up with your backlog. You want to aim for consistency more than anything else, which means you need to keep writing. For me, Arc 1 is complete, so I'm good there, but I'm actively working on Arc 2.
Engage with the community: Ask questions at the end of chapters for readers to answer and add interactive polls every now and then.
Community engagement: For writers, read others work. Participate in review swaps and celebrate others' successes. This'll make it more likely for them to read and celebrate you too.
I might do another month of rapid posting at some point. Maybe when I release Arc 2? That might be a nice "and here's the new book" kinda thing.
Well, bye for now!
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starcchild · 1 year
Note
Would Carter get the arc reactor removed if she could?
((as a heads up, I am gonna be over on Fae's blog for the rest of the night and this weekend, but I really wanted to answer this question because I honestly don't know
at first, I wanted to say, yes! yes she would remove it if she could! But... I truly don't know if she would want to after all, even if it could be promised she would be 100% a-okay in the end with no lasting side effects.
now, an important thing to note, that I've changed even here but I plan on getting into more detail with the rewrite (as well as changing some aspects as a whole), is that her reactor isn't like Tony's. While his was an electromagnet, her's contained a precursor to the centipede serum (you can read more in-depth on her reactor here, but again, I will be changing aspects) - it's stable enough to keep her from becoming a human time bomb, but... something she is stuck with. The serum is processed through the reactor and fed into her body through her blood, and would absolutely kill her if it was destroyed. She doesn't get that option like Tony does in canon, and it absolutely feeds into her belief that her identity is only tied to the Iron Man suit. I mean, there are a few factors in that belief, but... the reactor definitely plays a role in it, despite it being completely different from her father's. Despite how she feels about it, it is a part of her, but it's still a secret she will absolutely take with her to the grave unless she can trust someone enough to reveal it to them.
the reason for my initial yes is because it would be the final string cut to her identity as Iron Man. She does eventually come to learn, understand, and accept she has an identity outside of the mantle post-cacw when she gets the help she needs, but her reactor is always going to be a reminder of it. By removing it, that last attachment will be gone, much like how it was supposed to have been in im3 for Tony. She can choose to pick up the mantle once more if she wishes, but... it's separate from her, and something she can keep separate. Plus, it... represents Obadiah, because it was under his orders that she was given the reactor in the first place. He saved her life, that she knows, and... she hates it. Hates it because it gave him control over her, because he would hold it over her head, that it was because of him she was alive and given a second chance. Removing it would remove a reminder of him, and really help her move on.
but, it's the fact it did give her a second chance that is making me hesitate and lean into the idea of her keeping it. With therapy, Carter could learn to accept the reactor and detach it from Obadiah. That, yes, it came from something horrible from someone horrible, but... it did save her life. It gave her another chance, even if it was a horrible second chance at the start, because... once she gets the help she needs, she begins to take control of her life, and finds herself. She's alive because of the reactor, and she can learn from that. It gave her a second chance, but it's also giving her a third, because it kept her alive all that time. She can reclaim it for herself, with Obadiah and AIM gone, and make peace with it in the end.
this is definitely something I wanna think more about once I get to the ikau-portion of the rewrite, so that way I can factor in the changes I wanna make, but... yeah! Overall, I honestly don't know, because it's complicated in every sense of the word.
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Text
Looking for a Place to Happen
Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), age gap, general stupidity.
This is dark!biker!Sam Wilson x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Series Synopsis: There’s lots happening in Birch and you find it all too amusing.
Sister series to Smalltown Bringdown, When the Weight Comes Down, Little Bones, and Fully Completely
Note: We’re starting Sam’s installment but this weekend I’ll probably only be catching up on my headcanons and drabbles because I’ve been a lazy bitch and I’m sorry to those who have been waiting.
Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)
I really hope you enjoy. 💋
<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!
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Chapter 1: I've got a job, I explore
💀💀💀
The sleepy town of Birch was awake. 
In those last weeks, the arrival of outsiders had roused the attention of many once passive residents of the timeless territory. Those brick buildings unchanged by the tick of the clock inlaid into the old tower above the library that chimed every hour on the hour. They still stood with only chips in the mortar but the air tasted different. The frost was more bitter and the sky more grim. An omen of something no one could predict.
It was the perfect setting for a screenplay. The isolated town with its unsavoury secrets and the visitors who threatened to bring them to the surface. It was inspiring to you, to imagine what was hidden behind the stern wrinkled faces of the town elders and under the jackets of those men who wore the cut of the local club. The bikers ruled the town covertly but everyone knew that Bucky Barnes’ palm was lined with the map of Birch.
As a bystander, an unnoticed observer, just another ant in the hill, you watched from the side and amused yourself with the drama of others. It was like a soap opera or another HBO hype machine. Those things you aspired to when you could be free of this ho-hum town.
The snows added to the natural gloom of the place. The deep heaps smothered the noise and harkened back to those days of colonial settlement. Forgotten, desolate, fearful. 
You ventured down in your heavy boots that stretched to your knees and pushed your chin down into your scarf. As a child, you ran and jumped in those piles, now you were out of breath just trying to walk past them.
You stopped in the bakery that doubled as the only café, a place where the owner, Babs, tried to to intimidate the last caffeinated trends. She was always a few seasons behind but you didn’t mind so much. 
You ordered the salted caramel mocha and waited patiently as the quiet woman fought with the steaming machines. She was older than you but you’d work with her for one summer during high school, only five years ago. She had the eyes of a child still, but there was something worn in her. As if she’d been exposed to far too much in her three or so decades in that place. She was a harbinger of what you didn’t want to become.
You thanked her for your drink and set out once more into the billowing winds. Birch winters were never kind but this one was crueler than most. Your teeth chattered as you blew the steam away from the lid and hugged it with your mittened hands.
You stopped short as you heard the familiar ding of the diner door across the street. You recognised the mechanic who kept to herself and once growled at you in the grocery store. She stormed across the street, followed closely and quickly by a black-haired man you’d only seen once before. He was one of those outsiders who came to deal with the club men.
You sped up as you sensed chaos brewing and pulled out your phone as you balanced your paper cup in your other hand. You flicked your camera on just as you got to the front of the shop and the man grabbed the mechanic. You let out an ‘oop’ as she turned on him and you aimed the lens at the couple as they fell into the snow, the man’s shoes giving little traction to his steps. 
You moved closer, stunned by the scene, and kept your cell phone rolling as you found a better angle around the snowy walks. As she choked him on the ground he elbowed her and she coughed as she rolled away. She snarled as he clamoured to his feet, slipping and sliding as he marched away.
You killed the recording and watched the man cross the street again, nearly wiping out as he did and when you looked back to the mechanic, she was gone behind the clattering door. You chuckled to yourself and tucked away your cell. It was prime footage for TikTok; with a bit of editing, it would be comedy gold.
💀
You stomped up the steps of your grandmother’s house, this time through the front door as you heard her chair rocking in the front room. You usually took the stairs in the back as you paid her to live on the upper floor of the duplex. You checked in with her daily, she didn’t get out much more than the occasional trip to the grocery store when you couldn’t or you dragged her out to join you for a tea at Babs’.
“You’re late,” she grumbled as you set your cup down and unzipped your coat.
“For what?” you scoffed.
“It’s after noon and you don’t even come down to say hello? A ‘good morning, nan’,” she harrumphed.
You chuckled and hung your coat before shoving your boots over on the mat. You grabbed your mocha and leaned on the doorway as you watched her crocheting in her chair, reruns of some court show playing from the boxy television.
“I was working,” you said, “sent in some stuff for review. Hopefully not much work to be done.”
“I don’t know how you make money on that interweb,” she bemoaned, “I don’t trust it.”
“Maybe you’d trust it more if you used the Netflix subscription I got you,” you crossed your arms, “then you wouldn’t have to watch trash daytime TV.”
She shrugged and muttered under her breath. She could be crotchety but you liked her sense of humour. Your aunts and uncles never came around because they just took it as spite. You were the only one who knew how to handle the jaded old lady.
“Maybe you coulda looked out the window,” you snickered, “quite a show going on in town.”
“Hmm, what’s that?” she stilled her needles and reached for her tea stained cup.
“Just a fight. You wouldn’t believe it, that lady mechanic beat the shit--”
“Language,” she huffed.
“Anyway, she had this guy in a chokehold. It was awesome.”
“What guy?” she squinted at you over her glasses.
“I dunno. Some out of towner. Remember I told you about that burly dude hanging around the library?”
“There’s more?” she sucked on her teeth, “those bikers have never been good news and now they’re bringing in more.”
“Yeah, well, what’re you gonna do?” you sniffed as you took out your phone and rewatched the scuffle with the volume down. You shook your head and opened up your TikTok. 
“I don’t understand why you’re always on your dang phone,” your grandmother pestered.
“I’m not always on my phone,” you smiled at her smugly, “there are those time when I’m listening to you prattle on or you know, making you tea, oh, and cooking you dinner. What was it I did last week? Oh that’s right, I got Pippin out of the crawlspace.”
“I’m too old to be chasin’ that cat all around,” she huffed, “where is he anyway?”
“He’s your cat, I don’t know? Last time I saw him, I sent him back out the window for shredding my charger.”
“He knows you need to give it a rest,” she laughed to herself, “got your nose to that screen too much.”
“And what do you do, old lady? Crocheting doilies to put where exactly?”
She gave you that dry smile, the one that said watch it but carried a hint of humour still. You hit post and put your phone away as you waved off her irritation.
“Well, you know what, I sit all day at my computer, doing who knows what and you know what it got me?” you taunted, “a large mocha!” you sipped as you sat on the sofa and grabbed the remote, “and it’s paying my rent and putting bullet points on my resume.”
“Mhmm,” she scowled, “just remember, real life ain’t online. Those videos you’re always laughing at like hyena, that’s not reality. You forget it and it’ll come back and bit you. ‘Specially with those bikers.”
“Oh, nan, you know too well, don’t you? Didn’t you have a fling with one back in your hippie phase?”
“Two, actually,” she raised her brows, “I was young and stupid. Not like you, but still.”
“I love you too,” you chirped and sipped from your cup, flicking the station to Jerry Springer, “that’s more like it.”
💀
Your usual TikToks were sarcastic and dull complaints about your small town life. The response was less than pleasing but it gave you an outlet to vent. You liked to goof around and document the very specific type of weirdos that resided in Birch. But the video of the fight in the snow blew up your phone and made it difficult to ignore the buzzing as you went back up to your room to eke out the last of your captions for the ad agency.
When at last you could call your day hard-earned, you logged off and sent in your hours to the agency. Social media promotion was easy enough but the working gigs for a thousand different companies was tedious. You hoped you could build your portfolio enough to manage a single corporate page as you continued to chip away at your creative outlets.
You picked up your phone as you waited for Netflix to load on your tiny smart tv and flopped onto your bed, not two feet from your desk. You hit the icon in the upper panel of your phone and scrolled through the notifications, pausing to turn on another episode of the cable sitcom from ten years before. You snorted as you read each comment but the number under the video made your eyes round. The thing was bound to go viral.
As usual, you went down to help with supper. Pippin, the orange tabby, returned to cry at his dish and you fed him too. Your nan peered through her glasses at a crossword as she tasted the tangy pasta sauce. 
“More basil,” she snipped.
“Well, I asked if you wanted to help,” you muttered, “I think it’s good.”
“Hmmp, I need milk,” she jutted her chin out, “for my after-dinner tea.”
“You couldn’t say something like three hours ago?” you blinked.
“I could have but I didn’t,” she snickered. You rolled your eyes and she took another forkful of penne and filled in another line on her puzzle, “ah, no hurry, girlie, you know I’m patient.”
“Patient? You?” you chuckled as you took your plate and shoved it in the microwave to keep it warm. The ancient thing had a dial and the door stuck, “I’ll just go get it over with.”
“Don’t forget your mitts,” she called after you as you tramped into the front room, “it’s cold.”
You pulled on your knitted cap and matching mitts. You zipped up your parka and shoved your feet into the deep boots. You grabbed your wallet and buried it in the spacious pocket. You bounced out the front door and down the steps as the sky sent down another coat of powder for the night.
You went up White Forge Street and through the short path behind the diner that led to the main road. You glanced over at The Asp, the beacon of the dull town, and turned towards the grocer. Like anywhere in Birch, the store was outdated and stuffy. It felt like stepping into another time with the paper bags and chunky tills.
You went down the center aisle and stopped at the fridge to search through the frosted glass. Your nan only drank whole milk and the last time you carelessly grabbed skim, she whined that even Pippin wouldn’t drink it. She was particular but that was just her nature. You couldn’t say you were any less fussy in some instances.
You grabbed a jug and the door slapped closed against the worn rubber seal. You headed up the candy aisle and brushed your woolly thumb over your chin as you considered gummy bears or Reeses’ Pieces.
“Hard choice?” The deep voice jolted you.
You snatched the box of chocolate and looked over at the man in leather, his chin tucked down behind the collar as snow dusted his shoulders.
“Sure,” you said as you brushed past him.
The cut of the leather told you he was better not entertained. While you thought the men amusing, you weren’t stupid enough to engage with them. You rarely listened to your grandmother but she was wise in her own way. 
You knew a girl in highschool, she was fucking around with one of the club men in her junior year, she ended up with a baby and no support. You didn’t think he was into you that way but he could hardly have innocent intentions.
“How’s the old lady?” Clayton asked as he rung in your order at the end of the belt, you moved along with the groceries and pulled out your wallet.
“The usual, you know? She’s tryna quit again. Don’t know how long it’ll last.”
“Oh yeah? I’ll keep a carton aside for her,” he kidded as you felt your phone vibing in your back pocket.
“Don’t encourage her,” you swiped your card and punched in your pin, “although I don’t know what’s worse; the smoke or her sucking on those mints all the time.”
“Oh, it’s not the bitchin’?” he laughed.
“That, too,” you scooped up the paper bag and put your wallet away, “have a good one.”
As you came to the end of the first counter, you were nearly cut off by the club member as he swept around from till two. His own purchase of a car magazine and jerky was tucked under his arm.
“Ah, sorry,” he smiled, a sparkling smile, almost charming.
“No worries,” you continued on and he followed close behind.
“Those mitts look real warm. ‘Specially in this weather,” he said as you pushed open the door.
“Uh huh,” you kept on as your boots crunched out into the snow.
“You know where I can get a pair. Leather isn’t exactly thermal, you know?”
“These? My nan made ‘em. I’m sure Clayton got some hung up back there,” you looked across the street as you stepped up onto the ledge of snow between the sidewalk and the road.
“Am I bothering you?” he asked.
You looked at him dumbly and almost laughed in his face. You glanced back across the street then down towards The Asp.
“Sorta,” you answered.
“Make you a deal. Leave ya alone for your name.”
You eyed him. He was older than you like many of the Commandos. At least a decade, likely more than that. You chewed on your hesitation and cradled the bag more firmly against your side. His eyes strayed as he tried to see through the thick layer of your coat.
“Nah, I’m not s’posed to talk to strangers,” you said and hopped off onto the road.
You heard him behind you as he struggled to follow and as you came up to the other side, he came parallel with you and kept stride with you easily.
“I know you’re young but you’re not a kid,” he intoned, “what’s the harm in a name?”
“It’s a small town,” you stopped short of the end of White Forge, “I think I know enough about you to avoid you.”
“Oh ho, is that it? Well, I’m Sam, I’m not a stranger now, am I?”
“Not interested, Sam. Sure there’s women your own age over at the bar,” you nodded behind him.
“You wanna come see? Maybe have a drink?” he gave a crooked grin.
“You don’t give up, do you?” you shook your head, put off by his forwardness.
“Well?”
“Not tonight, Sam,” you turned around and headed down White Forge.
“Then what night?” he asked but you didn’t answer and he didn’t follow.
You turned down onto your street and refused to look back in case. It would be best not to mention the run-in to your nan, she was paranoid enough as it was. Besides, you’d forget about it by the end of next week.
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tootiredmotel · 3 years
Text
a different lover is not a sin
or: 5 times Dean didn't go to Pride + 1 time he did
Happy @starrynightdeancas gift exchange posting day!!! This one's for the wonderful and talented @andzia267 !!! Sending you all the hugs and good vibes, and I hope you enjoy it! And thank you Sophie for hosting all this, you're a rock star! <3
Read on ao3 or below / 5.5k words
CW: homophobia, queer used as a slur, john winchester being an asshole
1 - 1994
Dean was fifteen years old when he found out that being gay was something people could be proud of. It was early in the morning, they'd left their motel about 20 minutes before, and Sammy had fallen asleep in the backseat. The sun was just starting to completely show over the horizon, and they were driving through– or rather, struggling to get out of– Phoenix on their way to a possible poltergeist in Tucson. Every street they tried to take was blocked for the big event, and dozens of people already lined the sidewalks with colorful outfits and signs.
"Fuckin' queers," John grumbled in the seat next to him. "Never should'a thrown that damn brick."
Big banners overhead displayed "Stonewall 25: A Global Celebration of Pride". Dean made a mental note to hit up a library once they got to Tucson to look that up, "Stonewall". In the meantime, he was mesmerized staring out the window. Guys held hands, women kissed, everyone was practically vibrating with excitement. A black man in heels and a wig caught his gaze through the window and waved. Dean started to wave back, but his hand was harshly swatted back down.
"Do not," John said. "Don’t talk to them, don’t even look at ‘em. These people are sick in the head."
Dean focused his gaze on his lap until they were out of the city, and his mind wandered back to the gas station they stopped at the day before. He thought of the guy at the cash register that called him "cutie" and winked at him as he bought a candy bar for Sammy and beers for Dad with his fake ID. By Dad’s logic– which Dean trusted, of course–, that cashier, that queer, must've been sick in the head.
Then Dean remembered how his heart sped up, how his ears got hot, and how for a second he let himself think the cashier was kinda cute too. He realized he must also be sick in the head, and the thought was making him feel actually, physically sick. He felt like throwing up. Dad could never know.
Dean was fifteen years old when he learned that being gay actually wasn't something to be proud of.
---
2 - 2000
Dean was 21 years old when he learned the word “bisexual”. Dad had caught word of a ghoul case in lower Manhattan and sent Dean to take care of it. It was starting to get too hot and the streets were too crowded, but Dean was mostly glad to get a break from the constant fighting between Dad and Sammy.
Except it was June, and every time he turned a corner, there they were. The Pride parade flyers.
The second he spotted a rainbow he averted his gaze. He turned another corner and spotted another one. He avoided reading them at all costs. He heard Dad’s voice. Sick. Sick in the head.
For years now Dean had pretended he wasn’t sick. He pretended to not stare at Patrick Swayze too much whenever Dirty Dancing played on TV. He pretended like he didn't imagine what it would be like to kiss a guy, what stubble would feel like against his lips if he ever did.
He liked women. He could stick to women. He could live his whole life like that. And that meant he wasn’t totally sick, right? He wasn’t gay -gay if he liked girls.
But then what the hell was he? Would he even belong at one of these Pride things if he wanted to? He was probably a freak of nature. Even sicker than the rest of the bunch.
Curiosity got the best of him. He spared a glance at one of the flyers as he waited to cross the street.
Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transexuals, ALL WELCOME
“Are you gonna go?” A voice next to him asked. ”It’s next weekend.” He was blond, pale, and a bit shorter than Dean.
“What? No! I don't swing that way,” Dean said, a bit too quickly and with too much bite.
The guy looked him up and down with a frown. “Geez, alright. Just askin’.”
He started to walk away, and Dean spoke up before he could stop himself.
“Hey man, wait.”
The guy stopped walking.
“Sorry, can I ask you something? Assuming you... know about this stuff?”
He seemed exasperated, but he turned anyway, willing to hear Dean out. Dean licked his lips, rubbed at the back of his neck, swallowed nervously. He couldn’t believe he was doing this, asking a stranger on the street about something so personal. At least the chances of meeting this person ever again were close to none.
“What’s bisexual?”
The guy’s features softened a bit. He seemed to understand something about Dean that so far Dean refused to acknowledge.
“It means you’re into more than one gender. And yes, you can do that,” the guy said. He flashed Dean a tight smile and then disappeared into the crowd.
Dean felt his hands go numb and balled them into fists, shoving them in his pockets. He took a deep breath through his nose. The guy said you. You are. You can.
The guy didn’t know what he was talking about. He knew nothing about Dean. He was wrong.
Or maybe he was right.
But he couldn’t be.
Dean couldn’t be… that.
Dean was 21 years old when he decided he wasn’t bisexual. He wasn’t anything. He was also 21 when he solved a case in record time (two days), just so he could book it out of New York before the next weekend arrived.
---
3 - 2004
By the time he was 25 years old, Dean knew he was bi. He hated it, he never spoke about it, and he ignored it as much as he could, but he was aware of it. And he knew he was bi because, at 25 years old, he’d already gone through two serious breakups, and they both equally sucked.
The first was Lee. He hunted with Dean and John for about a year, the second half of which Dean and Lee spent sneaking around and hooking up behind John’s back. It was fun, and hot, and exciting, and some of the best hookups he’d had up until that point in his life were with Lee.
But the thing is that it wasn’t just hooking up. They were close, and Dean liked him. A lot. They kissed for the first time after a particularly scary werewolf hunt in which Dean almost died, but John was more preoccupied with the mostly-unharmed victim than his own son. Dean and Lee rode in the backseat, bruised, bloody, and quiet. When John went to walk the victim up to her apartment, Lee reached over and placed a hand on Dean’s back, asking him if he was okay. Dean fell into Lee’s arms, and they kissed as they pulled away from the embrace, soft and comforting. It was Dean’s first kiss with a guy.
Lee was a lot of firsts for Dean over the next few months. But then John almost caught them once, drunk and making out in the Impala.
And then that case in Arizona went wrong, and Lee just couldn’t take it anymore. He packed up, swore off hunting, hugged Dean goodbye, and left him in the dust.
Dean needed to clear his head after that. He could barely look his dad in the eye after that close call, couldn't let him see the sorrow he was feeling. With every interaction, he imagined how John would yell at him, probably try to beat it out of him, if he noticed all he was feeling over Lee. Or worse, John could ignore him, practically disown him like he did Sam.
So he also packed up and left. Went hunting on his own for a while.
It was on one of those hunts that he met Cassie, and she was yet another handful of firsts for Dean over the course of a few months. She was amazing, and he fell hard and fast, but of course that went up in flames too.
Then again, he should've known better than to be honest. Honesty only ever got him in trouble.
He’d just left her back in Ohio and was working at a bar in Indianapolis for a few weeks to make some cash. He’d eventually meet back up with Dad. He just couldn’t right now. Not with Sam gone to college. Not after getting his heart broken twice over within a year.
He was hyper-aware of the end of June approaching. He knew it was coming, Indy had a pretty big celebration, and he made sure to be working all day that day so he wouldn't have to face it.
That was pointless, though. Toward the end of the day, a big group of about ten or twelve people who were clearly coming from the parade stumbled into the bar. One of them was apparently the owner’s little sister and they went there every year after the celebrations. They were loud, and obnoxious, and looked incredibly happy. Their happiness was contagious, and Dean loved serving them. He chatted them up, got to know them a bit, and heard all about the parade, all while staring down anyone at the bar who dared look their way with even the slightest stink eye.
But watching them that happy and comfortable, seeing not one, but two pairs of guys sloppily leaning against each other and sharing the occasional kiss while none of their friends seemed to bat an eye… something in Dean ached. Deeply.
Dean was 25 years old when he realized that a small part of him kind of, sort of, wanted to be part of this community. He couldn’t though. Not if he wanted to be on good terms with Dad. Not if he aimed to be the man Dad wanted him to be.
He left Indianapolis the next day.
---
4 - 2008
Dean was 29 years old and on his own personal highway to hell when he learned his brother went to a Pride parade before he ever did. They were driving through San José, the streets were lined with ads for Silicon Valley Pride, and Sam just casually decided to mention how fun it was the last time he went.
Thankfully they were at a red light, or else Dean probably would’ve slammed the breaks. He twisted to look at Sam head-on, his arm on the back of the seat.
“You what ?” he gawked.
Sam shrugged innocently. “What?”
“You went to one of these Pride things?”
“Yeah, dude.”
Dean’s brain was just trying and failing to load. “Why?” he finally asked.
“Jessica was in the GSA and some friends invited us. It was awesome.”
“She was in the what?”
“The G. S. A.,” Sam answered slowly. “Gay-Straight Alliance.”
“Oh.” Whatever that is, Dean thought. He kept eyeing the flyers. It was tomorrow.
“Green.”
“What?”
“Light’s green. Green means go.”
Dean rolled his eyes. "Shut up."
He kept driving and turned up the radio. Somebody To Love was playing, and as much as he liked Queen, he had to change the station. He tried to picture his little brother (his straight little brother) wearing rainbow face paint and having the time of his life at this thing. How come Sammy got to go when Dean could barely entertain the idea? Dean was the not-straight one. It wasn’t fair.
He channeled his jealousy into gripping the steering wheel.
“You okay, Dean?”
“Yeah.” No. “Yeah, m’fine.”
Dean was 29 years old when he died and went to hell without ever having gone to a Pride parade, knowing that his idiot ( straight! ) little brother already had.
---
5 - 2014
Dean was alive again and 35 years old (75, if you count hell) when he was formally invited to a Pride parade for the first time. It was a couple of days after that whole mess with Cas in Lucifer’s crypt, and he called Charlie. He just wanted to hear her voice, needed to know he was still on good terms with at least one of his best friends.
“So anyway,” Charlie said after a while of recounting what she’d been up to. "How single are you right now? My answer is: miserably."
Dean chuckled. Then he thought of Cas, and the smile disappeared. "Yeah, you and me both, sister."
“Would you mind coming with me to this thing next month? Going alone kinda sucks.”
Dean put the phone on speaker and placed it on the library table as he sat down with a beer. “What’s the thing?”
“Pride.”
Dean was glad no one was around to see him almost choke on his drink.
“You good?”
“Yeah, what was that?”
“Pride parade. Don’t have anyone to go with this year.”
“Why uh… Why? Why me?”
She knows.
“I dunno.”
She knows she knows she knows.
“You’re my friend, Dean. Thought maybe you might be interested. But never mind, I guess.”
And while all the alarms in Dean's head were blaring danger danger danger abort, he also hated to hear Charlie so disappointed.
“Hey, no, listen, Charlie, I… I would. Really. You know I support you, wholeheartedly." And that's obviously the only reason I would want to go. "But with Sam doing these trials, and Cas on the run with the angel tablet–”
“It’s okay Dean, I get it. Talk to you soon?”
“Yeah.”
And she hung up.
Dean knew, at this point, that there was nothing wrong with being queer. It wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, and it sure as hell didn’t mean you were wrong in the head or whatever.
But years of pretending to be a false version of yourself in an effort to please a man who was impossible to please wasn’t exactly an easy habit to break. As much as he wished it didn't, as much as he wished he could just exist, the thought of anyone finding out still made him sick to the stomach.
John’s voice still echoed in his ears. His words still drove Dean’s sense of self-worth and so many of his decisions. He tried to never stare at a good-looking guy for too long. He tried to not get too into it with Benny. He tried to keep his feelings for Cas at bay, tried to keep him at arm's length, tried to keep the fact that he was in love (deeply, stupidly in love) as close to his chest as he could.
Even that night at the crypt choking out the words to get through to Cas, he couldn’t bring himself to say what he meant. I love you, he’d wanted to say, because it was the truth. What came out, however, was I need you. And he did, he needed Cas more than air, but it wasn't quite everything.
It still got his heart split in two.
Was he so far gone over Cas that he couldn’t hide it? Had he been trying so hard and failing just as miserably this whole time? Was his attraction to dudes that obvious? Or did Charlie just have a sixth sense for this kinda thing?
It was probably the last one. He hoped it was.
Cas knew, for sure. Angels knew everything right? They could read minds, feel longing, or whatever. And if none of that ever tipped him off, well, Dean put it all on the line back in that crypt. He told Cas how he felt, told him he needed him, tried putting himself out there, and it got him left. Again. With Dean, it was always leave-or-get-left when it came to love. He was tired of it.
Dean was 35 years old, desperately in love with his best friend, and truly heartbroken for the third time in his life, when his other best friend– an out and proud lesbian– gave him a chance to go to Pride, to break through his shell, to finally embrace himself as he was; but because he was practically living in the closet, he couldn’t seem to find the handle after so many years of purposefully ignoring its existence, and he missed his chance. Besides, what was the point of going to a celebration of love without the love of his life by his side?
---
+1 - 2021
Dean is now 42 years old and the happiest he’s ever been. The love of his life? Cas? Turns out he’s felt the same way all along. They're kind of together now, and slowly but surely they’re working through a decade’s worth of shit.
They’ve been raising a kid together too, along with Sam and Eileen, and that kid is also God. After saving the world and whatnot, Jack decided to bring back some of their friends and family that died over the years: Mary, Kevin, Charlie. Yes, there are two Charlies now, but it’s not as confusing as you’d expect. (One is from another dimension, and the other one is Dean’s little sister. Simple.) Mary’s off hunting most of the time and Kevin’s applying to college.
They’ve got extended family now too, Jody and the girls. OG Charlie is staying with them for now, while she finds her footing. Most of that household is queer. Most of Dean's household is queer as well, actually. Turns out both Jack and Eileen are non-binary, Cas is gay in the broader sense of the word, and Dean…
Dean is bi. And everyone knows now.
Apparently, a lot of people had known for a long time. Sam has known since the siren back in ‘09 (even though Dean stands by the fact that it wasn’t like that, Sammy ), and everyone has slowly picked up on his and Cas’s thing over the years, so there’s that.
He still feels a bit weird about it. About calling Cas his boyfriend, about having the freedom to hold his hand in public, about the fact that they now have goddamn pride flags hung around the bunker. He feels even weirder about the fact that John’s voice in his head is now drowned out by the sounds of his home life, more lively and supportive than he ever expected to have.
He wasn’t expecting any of this, he didn’t think everything would change so fast. But when you spend the better part of your life pushing down such a huge part of you and then finally give yourself an out, a chance to show the people who love you who you really are, everything just... follows.
Love follows. Acceptance follows. Family follows. And he wasn’t really expecting any of it.
He certainly doesn’t expect it when Cas walks into the library after his weekly Thursday evening call with Claire and announces, matter-of-factly and with air quotes, “We’re going to "Pride" this weekend.”
Dean’s stomach drops. It’s the Sioux Falls Pride Parade and Festival, it’s in two days, and they’re leaving tomorrow to spend the night at Jody’s so they can all be there bright and early Saturday morning. Everyone immediately starts bustling about, packing and planning outfits and gathering flags to bring with them.
Dean just goes to his room– his and Cas’s now– to pack a small duffle.
Well, he means to. Instead, he takes out the duffle from the closet, puts it on the bed, and sits next to it for a while. An hour goes by. He thinks back to all those times he had brushes with one of these things and was just never in the right mindset. He’s not even sure he’s in the right mindset now, but he’s going. It’s happening.
“Jack’s all ready to go,” Cas says when he walks in. “We spent about half an hour putting together an outfit for Saturday. He wanted it to be as colorful as possible.”
Dean smiles, but it’s not all there. He looks at the empty duffle next to him.
“Yeah, I might need some help with that myself.”
Cas is in sweats and a hoodie. Yes it’s June, yes it’s hot, but he’s a quasi-angel, and the way he experiences the world Dean will never be able to wrap his head around. He walks over and stands in front of Dean, running a hand through his hair and down the side of his face until he’s cupping Dean’s jaw. Dean takes Cas’s hand and leaves a few kisses on the inside of his wrist, closing his eyes as he does.
Cas regards the empty bag and hums quietly, as if in thought, before walking over to their closet. Dean chases his hand, holding onto it until he’s completely out of reach. Cas starts searching, and Dean’s stomach knots more and more with each clang of the hangers. Cas finally pulls out a flannel from its hanger– purple with hints of blue and pink– and tosses it over. Dean can’t believe he didn’t think of it first.
They continue to pack in comfortable silence before changing and getting into bed. Dean doesn’t flop onto his stomach or cuddle into Cas’s side as he usually does; instead, he lies on his back and stares at the ceiling in a daze.
“Dean?” Cas’s voice snaps him out of it.
Dean turns his head and asks, automatically, “You okay?”
It’s a habit by now, asking each other that question. It’s part of the working-through-a-decade’s-worth-of-shit thing they’re doing. Turns out they share a whole lot of trauma. They share worries and insecurities. They share nightmares sometimes, mostly about the Empty.
“I’m okay,” Cas says, putting his hand on top of Dean’s heart for him to hold, and Dean can breathe a little easier.
“You nervous about this thing?” Dean asks, interlocking their fingers.
“The parade? No, not really.”
And then, because he's been working on communicating how he's feeling out loud or whatever, Dean looks back up at the ceiling and says, "I am. Kinda."
He feels Cas shifting and propping himself up on his elbow, and then he's in Dean's line of sight. Dean's gaze is drawn to him, like all of him has been since the moment they met, and Dean can't believe he just has this now. He has a boyfriend, and it's Cas, and he's looking down at Dean with stars in his eyes and a comforting smile that actually works because it's Cas.
And then Cas is leaning down and softly pressing their lips together, and that's also something Dean can’t believe he gets to do: kiss Cas good morning and good night and at any moment in between, kiss him I'm sorry, kiss him we're going to be okay, kiss him I love you.
"I love you too, Dean," Cas says once they've pulled away, and Dean didn't even realize he'd said it out loud, but it doesn't matter. "And you don't need to be nervous. I'll be there with you."
The thought should be a thousand times more nerve-wracking, not just going to Pride but going to Pride with Cas on his arm. It's not nerve-wracking at all, and he soon drifts off to sleep.
Friday goes by faster than it should. The six-hour drive to Sioux Falls, although packed in a car with five people, goes by in a blink. They stop for provisions before getting to Jody's, filling up on backpacks' worth of snacks.
They get to the house and are met with endless hugs and excitement to match. Patience, Alex, and Jody are already working on dinner for the bunch, while Charlie, Donna, and Kaia are running around prepping for the next day and dragging along a hesitant but nevertheless happy Claire. Dinner is chaotic and loud and there are way too many people at the table, and Dean has to step outside after a while.
He sits on the back porch steps. Claire joins him. She's holding a beer, he's not. He hasn't been drinking for a few months now. They don't talk, but she leans her head on his shoulder and they stay there a while, looking at the stars.
When they go back inside, Claire sits back down in her spot at Cas's left, across the table from Dean, and leans on his shoulder for a while too. It's her way of saying she cares, of saying I missed you without really saying it. Jack sits at Cas's right, talking excitedly with Patience about some tv show or other, and the image fills Dean with such fondness that he reaches over with his foot, presses it to Cas's ankle, and keeps it there for the rest of the night.
Dean, Cas, Jack, Sam, and Eileen spend the night spread out around in the living area while the girls sleep in their respective rooms, and Dean is only slightly less nervous as he falls asleep holding Cas’s hand.
---
The nerves all come flooding back as he’s parking the Impala the next morning.
They’re not able to get even remotely close to Phillips Avenue since the streets are so full. They park the three cars that all twelve of them came in as close as they can and then have to walk for another twenty minutes. From blocks and blocks away, people walk and holler and greet them excitedly, many of them trying to circle this swarm of flanneled individuals that are taking up a whole sidewalk. Granted, Dean and Claire are the only ones in their usual kind of outfit. The rest of the bunch is wearing as many colors as they could compile from their closets, half of them are wearing face paint, and the other half are carrying an assortment of pride flags.
They fit right in.
The walk toward the main avenue of the parade is kind of a blur for Dean. He knows he waved at a few people, some friends of Alex from high school joined the group at some point, and Jack already grabbed a snack from his backpack.
The actual parade is also kind of hazy. Getting out of the house that morning had been probably even more chaotic than the night before, so they’re a bit late and the parade has already been going for a good half hour. On top of that, they accidentally merge into it not quite at the starting point but a bit further down the road, in between a decked-out pickup truck and a group of people with dogs. Music is blaring, the dogs are all barking, a big float rides a few yards in front of them, and hundreds stand on the sidewalks recording on their phones and cheering them along.
Dean’s not sure they’re even supposed to be in the actual parade. Maybe they’re supposed to be on the sidewalks? Is this right? What is happening, what is he even doing here?
He doesn’t notice how heavy he’s breathing until Cas is squeezing his hand and beckoning him to meet his eyes. He does, and the blue in them, as imposing as the Atlantic, drowns out everything else around them. “You’re okay, my love,” Cas says. It’s a fact. As long as Dean is with him, he’s okay.
On his other side, Dean feels someone link their arm around his. It’s Charlie, and she’s beaming at them, her cheeks almost as red as her hair. It brings Dean back to reality, grounds him, but he’s okay now. He’s not alone, and he’s meant to be here.
He’s proud to be here.
The parade leads up to a sloping park, and at the lowest point of it, there’s a stage where Dean assumes someone will MC for the afternoon, or maybe perform. It’s grandiose in its simplicity, kind of like a Greek theater, with everyone settling down on the grass around it, expectantly.
“We’ll be right back,” Dean hears Sam say, and he turns to find they’re all set to spend the afternoon, towels laid and backpacks off (save for his). “Jack wants to go meet the drag queens,” Sam says with just a bit too much glee before he and Jack take off.
“It’s not just Jack,” Eileen smiles and follows.
Cas is already sitting, eating one of the PB&Js he packed as lunches for everyone. Jody and Donna are settling down as well and Charlie’s taking a dozen pictures, but the rest of the girls are all standing. “We’re gonna go check out the vendors,” Claire announces, and they start to take off as well.
“Be careful, please!” Dean calls after them, but they pay him no mind. He turns to Charlie. “Hey, your majesty, keep an eye on them will you?”
She smiles, bows gracefully, and heads in the same direction.
Jody stands and grabs Dean by the arm, beckoning him to talk in private for a second.
“What’s up?”
If Dean knows Jody at all, and he does, they’re on the brink of a mom talk.
“Look around, Dean.”
“What for?”
“Just look,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Please?”
So, at her request, Dean starts taking in the environment. Now that everyone is gathered, he can actually see all the people that came out (heh) for the event. There are church groups, pet shelters, skateboarders, and rollerskaters. Drag queens are already taking pictures by the stage, and at least two people are wearing unicorn heads. A few vendors’ tents and food trucks surround the park, and rainbows completely dominate the scenery. There are elders, and kids, and all kinds of families and couples, and everyone looks… happy. Free.
And Dean is here with them. He is one of them.
There’s no danger, no monsters of any kind. No one to judge him, hurt him, call him sick in the head.
He finds Claire’s blonde head amongst the sea of shoppers at the edge of the park. She’s holding hands with Kaia and has one of the biggest smiles Dean has ever seen on her face. There’s no shame in it, and she’s not in any danger either. Things are different now, and she has the freedom to be herself that he never had at her age.
He has it now too. He can be himself.
Dean doesn’t realize he’s about to cry until Jody pulls him down into a hug.
“Dean, I am so proud of you.”
And then he cries.
---
They spend the afternoon laying on the grass, eating, drinking, and enjoying the festivities. The girls come back from the vendors’ tents after a full hour, and most of the bags on their arms are Charlie’s. She gets Cas a mug that says bee yourself in rainbow colors with an image of a cartoon bee, and she gets Dean a button pin that says AC/DC in pink and blue. There’s a meaning behind that apparently, and Dean decides he’ll look it up later.
Jack memorizes all the drag queen’s names. Donna takes a million pictures. They trade numbers with a few people.
There’s a big fireworks show just after sundown. It starts to get windy and a bit chilly, so Dean grabs the nearest pride flag and wraps it around himself. Cas, the perpetual freak who just doesn’t feel temperature apparently, is wearing a t-shirt and shorts and smiling at him unabashedly.
“What?”
“That’s the bisexual flag.”
So it is. “Shut up,” Dean says, but he’s smiling too. “You want in on this?”
He doesn’t wait for Cas to respond before he wraps it around his shoulders as well. The fireworks continue.
“You know,” Cas says after a beat. “As beautiful as they are, pyrotechnics are extremely damaging to the environment.”
Dean can’t help but laugh because of course, Cas would say something like that in a moment like this. He laughs and laughs and regrets being the only one to have heard that; then again, he’s the only one who could’ve found that funny.
He laughs a bit more, wipes a tear, and sees that Cas is still just solemnly watching the show.
“Cas?”
“Yes, Dean?” He replies and then turns his head.
Dean wants to kiss him. He wants to kiss him so bad. Then he remembers where he is, physically and in his life right now, realizes whom he’s surrounded by at this very second, and decides that he can.
So he does. It’s not unlike the way he kissed Cas when they rescued him from the Empty. Granted, there’s less sweat, blood, adrenaline. But just like that day, they’re both on the ground, and the gesture catches Cas by surprise. Just like that day, Dean pulls Cas in gently by the back of his neck and there’s no hesitance or fear. Just like that day, he just does it, presses their lips firmly together, and relishes in the taste of Castiel, in the feeling of the person he loves most in this world kissing him back.
The one big difference is this: that day marked the beginning of the rest of his life. Today? Today is just Dean’s first Pride.
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zeldas-cigarrette · 3 years
Text
⊱┊𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬. ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃
— pairing; ⚢donna sheridan x fem!reader
— word count; 3.3k
— summary; Sophie organised an afternoon of speed dating for her mother. You happened to be a customer at the certain restaurant it took place, and it seemed as if Donna was more interested in you than in all the guys that came for her. (lots of fluff because I can’t bring myself to write smut atm. ) xx
— fluff 🍰₊˚.༄ ೃ -
—❥ author’s note; My obsession with Meryl Streep keeps me sane during all those exams I have atm… Again, I’m so sorry for not posting my requests but I tried finishing them all but when I read them again they were so insanely bad, I can’t upload them… I will rewrite them probably next weekend (if I have enough time). But thanks for sticking around although I’m not as active (which will change in a few weeks, when I’ve finished my finals).
..⃗.🕊•̩̩͙⁺⤾·˚ ༘ ◡̈ ꒰ 🥥 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:・゚˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ ✧˖*°࿐
🏷 tag list; @paulawand , @pearplate
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The sun was already burning down when Donna found out about her daughter's plans for the afternoon. Apparently, Sophie decided to host a speed dating for her mother in some restaurant on the island. She wasn’t interested in the first place but for the sake of her daughter, Donna decided to give it a try - maybe she’ll find the love of her life? It wasn’t until both mother and daughter arrived at the chosen restaurant when the older woman started worrying about what’s to come behind those doors. The few birds that gathered on the windowsill started chirping as if they were trying to warn her, „don’t go in!” but it seemed too late for that. „I don’t know if this is the right thing Soph,” Donna lurked through the window, seeing a couple of older guys waiting eagerly for someone to entertain them. „It’s gonna be fun Mum, just let it happen,” and with the huge smile spread over the young girl's face, she pushed the door open. Quickly the smell of food surrounded both women.
Only a couple of women were interested in dating as well, everyone was already sat on separate tables only waiting for the main host to start the thing. On the first look, none of these men caught her eye, none of them looked attractive. However, who was she to judge? Said and done, Donna took a seat opposite of a man with full fair hair and glasses. The two minutes started in which they were supposed to get to know each other.
You were sat in the corner of the restaurant, observing the show you were offered from afar. The people, including the owner, were making a fuss about the speed dating someone had arranged. You had moved to the island just a couple of months ago and though such things as speed dating were a pretty common thing in England, it seemed to be hardly a thing around here. Chewing on a shrimp, you wanted to hold back the laughter when you saw the angelic-looking woman’s face when one of the guys seemingly told her an interesting fact about him. She didn’t look very happy with the selection of men. Luckily you had an amazing view of the ocean and you could watch the sun gleaming on the water.
For every passing minute, Donna regretted the decision she made. The first guy was as dull as his name, Tom had 15 cats. He told her a story of when a few of his cats got sick and vomited in his flat. It was a full-on ramble for two minutes not letting his opponent get to word for once. Donna wasn’t sure if she had control of her face, but if she wasn’t at least the guy knew how horrible he was. The next one - didn’t even introduce himself - was shy. So shy that he only stared down on his fingers. Therefore when Donna made the first move and told him a little about her life, he could only nod and blankly stare a hole into the hotel owner.
Sunken in a daydream, you scribbled something in your notebook hoping the words would turn into poems. When you first came to the island you had hoped to overcome the ongoing writer's block, but until now not even the alluring landscape could change that. It ever so often occurred that your eyes landed on the woman with the golden locks not sure if it’s because of how dissatisfied she looked or if it’s her that captured you. Often you came to this restaurant to get the words flowing or to talk to the owners. They have been welcoming from the first moment, so you decided to go there again and again until it became the only restaurant you’d go to.
Meanwhile, Donna was meeting the fourth guy that wanted to meet her. It seemed to be a better start than the rest of the guys, he wasn’t perfect but neither was he as self-centered as the ones before. Their conversation was good until he dropped the 'women belong in the kitchen’ bomb. It ruined everything for her. „Alright people, we’re gonna take a short break so everyone can let the impressions sink in,” Sophie quickly interrupted when she saw how uncomfortable her mother felt. Each of the participants got up and walked out on the terrace or ordered drinks from the bar. Donna scoffed and buried her head in her hands. „This is awful,” it was only a whisper but audible to her daughter. „I’m sorry, I really thought that you’re gonna have fun,” the girl replied. Without another word the woman got up and wanted to walk a few steps to stretch the tense muscles in her leg when she spotted you sitting in the corner of the room.
She took small steps to reach your table, she was curious about what you were doing there all alone scribbling in your notebook. At first, you didn’t notice her coming towards you, but when you did she seemed as if a halo would enlighten her. The notebook was closed in an instant when you realized that you were the aim she was about to reach. „Hi” you greeted her with a wide smile. „Hello, I noticed you sitting all alone,” it was obvious that Donna searched for an opportunity to escape the dating hell her daughter had organised. You saw in how deep of misery the woman was. „Would you like to sit with me for a while?” you requested and pointed at the chair opposite of you. The noise in the overfilled restaurant was deafening so the blonde woman didn’t bother using words and just pulled out a chair. „You don’t know in how many ways you just saved me,” she smirked and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. You blushed but tried to hide it while leaning your face in both of your hands.
„I saw you’ve been busy over there, isn’t speed dating fun?” you teased not knowing if it was alright to overstep this line. „They’re all abhorrently boring and irritating,” the woman huffed and throws a disapproving look at the crowd of men. You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, you’ve never had the problem with weird men. „I’m Y/n by the way,” you reached out your hand which she gladly shook. „Nice to meet you, my name’s Donna.” Even her name sounded angelic. The woman’s company brought you joy and even ideas for new poems came to your mind. „You could stay here until it’s over, I don’t mind,” you suggested avoiding eye contact, fearing rejection. „I’d love to,” it sounded like heaven to you. Therefore she stayed and every time you looked at her, you hated to avert your gaze the next second. Although Donna seemed to enjoy herself, the men on the other side of the room looked as if they were disappointed that she left. „One of their cats vomited in their flat,” she told you rolling her eyes. „Aww, I love cats but without the vomiting,” you giggled and tried to find out who it was by just scanning them. „It’s the blond one,” she pointed at a tall, skinny guy. „Oh yes, he absolutely looks like a cat guy,” you remarked dryly not averting your gaze from the giraffe-like man.
Sophie saw her mother sitting with you, smiling and giggling sometimes. She didn’t dare to make her comeback and go through another round.
„Would you like something to eat while you’re waiting for this to be over?” you asked shyly. „Actually, yes! I’ve been starving since we’ve come here and the conversations I’ve had didn’t make it go away,” Donna explained and bit down her lip. You waved for Elias, a waiter, for her to order. You’ve been exploring the island with him a couple of times and learned that he would rather like to work on the mainland as a teacher than work at his parent's restaurant. The food was served in less than ten minutes and she hummed while eating. „This has to be the best one I’ve eaten yet,” Donna declared while putting the cutlery on her plate.
Donna admired you for your kindness of letting her stay with you, she was lost in the eyes of yours and how your y/h/c hair was blown from the wind from time to time. The opened window offered her a marvellous view on the deep blue ocean. She felt safe in your company and the stories you’d told her about your future plans captured her. „Then why have you decided to come to Kalokairi when you plan on becoming a writer?” the older woman curiously asked. „Well, I had a very severe writers block and wanted to be surrounded by nature and I’ve a lot about this place in tourist guides so I decided to come here to get my writing flowing,” you explained. „Oh I’m sorry, I hope you’ve overcome it by now.” „I think I just did,” you cheekily replied. Unknowingly that your time was up by now, Sophie strutted over to the both of you.
„Mum, I’m sorry to interrupt but we’re done,” the young girl smiled while looking at you. „I’d really like to do this again,” Donna circled with her finger on the table, „I’ll just give you my address and you can come over some time.” Donna scribbled something on a napkin and handed it to you. You tried to hide the huge smile that was about to form on your lips. „Thanks, I’d also love to repeat this,” your whisper was barely audible. Donna just winked before leaving with her daughter, she was gone and left you with butterflies in your stomach. That day you’re writers block seemed to be gone and you were finally able to bring some words on paper.
»As I sat and looked at her and the rolling hills she sat upon I thought, what amazing luck I have that the world had created such beautiful things and given me the eyes to see them.« *
At first, you’ve been too afraid to drop that little poem off at her house, but when you gathered enough courage you just went for it. It was only when you arrived that you realised she was managing a hotel. You quickly dropped it off with your phone number written on it, not brave enough to give it to her in person. The following hours consisted of you having almost a nervous breakdown not wanting to receive rejection again. You had enough of that for a lifetime. Was she even interested in that way or was she just being nice? It took her until the next morning to get back to you, but when she did, it brought your heart to quiver.
She invited you over for a walk along the coastline by sunset. Whenever Donna laughed, it felt as if the world was changing for the better, and she smiled like a goddess. When the sun was almost gone and barely visible, it made the whole island shimmer in a shade of magenta. The older woman seemed as if she took a liking to you, that’s when you realised the arm sneaked around you. It was that day when you never wanted to leave Kalokairi or the high you’ve been on since you first saw her.
—♡︎
Over the weeks you two had somehow developed an unspoken romantic relationship, none of you were brave enough to talk about the strong feelings in between. When Donna wasn’t busy working in the Hotel, you did almost everything together, sat by the beach while you used her as your muse for writing or you two cuddled on the couch.
You had sent your work to a publisher in New York when you had gathered a few more poems and one night you received an email. They actually wanted you in New York, the head of the company wanted to meet you first and if everything goes well he wanted to offer you a contract and an apartment in which you could get your words flowing. Although that sounded like a dream to you, so surreal and perfect to be true, your true new home was the island and the mere thought about leaving was too much. That’s why you didn’t tell Donna. You weren’t sure if this was the right time or if she’d even care.
„Why did they have to leave her out, just because she couldn’t pay for the country club?” the thing you loved about her, was that she always commented on the movies you watched. „It seems unfair to me,” you added and snuggled closer. You were partly on your laptop to check your mails for a confirmation on an order you placed. She was holding you close while her head was resting on yours. It was the smell of the ocean that comforted you and made your eyelids heavy. You had never stayed overnight at her house because you didn’t know if that was alright for her, so you fought against tiredness. Few strands of her hair slightly covered your eyes which only caused you to give in to your exhaustion more.
The steady sound of the movie and her beating heart made you even more tired until you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer. A comforting wave of sleep hit you and soon you were comforted in a dream. It wasn’t until the woman you’d fallen asleep on moved abruptly, that you woke up. „Ouch,” you murmured and your head jolted in an upward direction. „I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you,” Donna sounded weird but you brushed it off due to the late hour. „Don’t worry, is everything alright?” you then asked while straightening your back. Only a light hum was a response to your question, she then focused on the movie again. Minutes passed and your eyelids started to feel like cement. „Okay, you know what? It’s not okay. I know going through your things wasn’t right, but your laptop was open and I’ve seen the email from the publisher and internally I’m going mad and-“
„Stop,” it was a short but loud enough interruption of her rambling. Donna's eyes grew wide. „I don’t mind if you’re going through my things, but before you assume something you could’ve asked me, because I wasn’t planning on going,” you didn’t want to snap in that way. Only a regretful „Oh..” broke the uncomfortable silence. You felt bad for speaking to her in that tone. „I’m sorry but I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, I just found you.” A small but proud smile formed on your lips, maybe the feelings were mutual. „I’m not going anywhere,” you quietly replied. Both of you started staring at the screen of the tv again, wordlessly. „Y/n?”
You hummed in response. „I think I love you.” „You think?” you laughed, „because I might love you too.” Her hands quickly found your face and pulled you in her direction, „Is that alright?” A slight nod confirmed and Donna’s lips found yours. They moved against yours in sync and that’s when you first noticed how soft they were, she tasted like peach and lavender. „Your hair’s so soft,” she mumbled when she stopped for air, after that Donna quickly found your lips again. „And your cute when you’re all worried,” you added when you gasped for air.
That night you stayed with Donna and fell asleep cuddling her. She wore a blue pyjama with puppies all over it, you were gushing over how adorable she looked.
—♡︎
„Come on we’re going to be late for the ferry if you don’t hurry up,” Donna rushed past you to turn off the kitchen lights. „Yeah yeah don’t rush me or I’m never gonna finish,” you replied and closed your suitcase. You were going home for your father's birthday and they wanted to meet the woman that you couldn’t stop talking about. „Ready?” „Yes.” Donna stretched out her hand for you and pulled you after her. „I hope they’ll like me,” she pondered while loading the suitcases in the trunk. „They will absolutely love you, trust me,” you said and helped her closing up.
The ferry was crowded as usual and you two barely had enough space so Donna demanded you to sit on her lap. „I hope we’re gonna catch our flight,” the woman mumbled and nervously checked her wristwatch. „Don’t sweat it, we’re gonna make it on time it’s still early,” you cackled, knowing that she was nervous. The ferry sailed over the water just as gracefully as a bull in a china shop. When the ferry reached the mainland, Donna and you quickly rushed to a cab and drove to the nearest airport. The sky was flawlessly blue, not a cloud could be seen.
Not a lot of people decided to fly to England on that day, you could count 17 people at the checkpoint. In the meantime Donna was a nervous wreck, the woman constantly fidgeted with the keychains. „Ew your hands are sweaty,” you joked when you took hers in yours, „don’t be afraid, I’m with you the whole time.” Donna forced a smile on her face then followed you on the airplane. It wasn’t a long flight, maybe four or five hours. The start was a rough patch, Donna’s anxiety of flying was at its highest and she was seemingly about to throw up. Luckily you could talk her down and she soon fell asleep.
Arriving in London Southend, which was close to your parent's house, your girlfriend's nerves seemed to be calmed and you almost thought she’d taken something. „Let’s get out of here, my brother’s gonna pick us up,” you declared as both of you got your luggage. „He’s very much into cars and all that stuff, so if he’s annoying you just tell him to shut up, I do this every time.” „Oh I hope it’s not getting too complicated so that I can keep up,” she stifled a laugh and cheerily followed you along to the exit. As usual, your brother couldn’t shut up about the new cars he is about to tune, but luckily the ride was only about 40 minutes.
Your father was fascinated by Donna, the two of them got along quite well and even your mother seemed to approve of your choice this time. There have been a few women she wasn’t fond of, almost hated them and in retrospect, she was right about them. As it got darker outside, your father's guests said their goodbyes and left one by one until only the five of you were left at the table. „We’re gonna go to bed, it’s getting late and I’ve got work tomorrow,” your father declared and clapped his hands on both of his legs before getting up. „Yeah me too,” your brother said.
„Wanna sit in front of the fireplace for a while?” you asked as all of them were gone. „Absolutely.” „Thanks for coming, I was afraid you wouldn’t like my family because of how crazy they are sometimes,” you whispered when you draped a blanket over the both of you. „They’re all lovely people, I’m happy they don’t seem to hate me,” Donna joked. „They don’t, they love you but maybe not as much as I do,” you sweet-talked. Her finger booped your nose before she planted a quick kiss on your forehead. „Can I hold your hand?” she quietly asked. You nodded, feeling her soft palms against yours was enough to make you feel safe. While you sat there watching the fire die out, the grip around Donna got tighter, fearing she’d be gone as soon as the sun rises. But she wasn’t, she was still there in the morning and the morning after and so on. You were happy with her, happier than you would’ve imagined.
* used a poem from atticus
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angryschnauzer · 3 years
Text
Blackwater Lake - Chapter 1
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Summary: There’s a little town high in the mountains where everyone has a secret, and every family has something that makes them unique. In Blackwater Lake those that are outcast by nature come together. 
Characters: Werewolf!Captain Syverson, Werewolf!Female Reader, Vampire!Walter Marshall.
Warnings (for this chapter, all small mentions but warning just in case): Breastfeeding, Accidental Cutting Injury/Blood loss, blood transfusions. This chapter contains no sex scenes or scenes of a sexual nature.
A continuation of previous Werewolf!Sy stories Moonlight on the Sand and Castle Under The Stars. This will be a series of stand alone stories/2 parters, which will revolve around the residents of the town, with some recurring characters.
I do not run a tag list, but please follow @angryschnauzerwrites​ and put that blog onto notifications. You’ll then get an alert every time i post something new.
Blackwater Lake - Chapter 1
The late spring day brought pleasant scents and mouth watering flavours, Blackwater Lake’s town May day parade in full flow as you held two month old Luna in her carrier to your chest, turning to smile at your husband Sy as he balanced Mikey on his shoulders so your son could watch the floats whilst they slowly cruised past. You knew he would be most excited about the Fire Department bringing their trucks past. At the first whoop of the siren Mikey squealed with joy, the ice cream cone in his hand tipping slightly and setting a blob of blue bubblegum flavour gelato into Sy’s cheek;
“Hey, no wriggles! Its raining ice cream down here”
Pausing the consumption of your own cone you handed it to Sy as you reached into your bag and found a baby wipe, moving to wipe his cheek before stretching to wipe your son’s face. Finding a trash can to toss the wipe into, you smiled as you watched your two boys as they waved to the Fire Trucks, the crew making sure to honk their horns when they saw Sy.
Everyone in town loved Sy. You’d moved there together when you’d found out you were pregnant with Mikey, your army days behind you and wanting to seek somewhere quiet where you could live in the woods to allow for full moon runs whilst being close enough to civilisation to raise a family. The aging receptionist at the realtor had pulled you aside the second you’d arrived in their office when you’d visited the town, recognising one of her own as her nostrils had flared and she’d explained that there were ‘all sorts’ in the town. That was your first meeting with Edith, and you’d gone on to move in just up the mountain from her. Once Sy had finished in the Army and baby number two was on the way, he’d started working alongside retired detective Walter at his construction company where they specialised in commercial buildings. They were always on call for when businesses had emergencies, so had come to the aid of half the town after storms and accidents.
As the parade dragged on Luna woke, grumbling for a change and a feed. The two boys were transfixed with the parade and you’d lost your ice cream cone to Sy who was now mindlessly munching away on it. Tugging on his sleeve you caught his attention;
“Luna’s woken up, i’m gonna take her into Sue’s Coffee Shop to change her and give her a feed”
“Sure thing Darlin, we’ll come find you in a bit”
-
The coffee shop was quiet, its doors opened onto the sidewalk and as the radio played soft rock music, just one or two tables taken outside but the inside empty. Sue - the owner - smiled at you as you walked in;
“Hey Sue!”
“Hey there! What can I get'cha?”
“Can i get a decaf iced latte? I just need to change Luna if that’s ok?”
“Of course, no need to ask, the restroom is empty”
A couple of minutes later your little girl had a clean butt but was still grizzling, now hungry for your milk. Sue had set your drink onto a table in the corner, a soft window seat she knew you liked to sit at to feed. Settling in you pulled your cami top down and unhooked the strap of your nursing bra, helping Luna to latch on as she cried before a blissful quiet descended over you as she happily suckled on your breast. In the quiet of the coffee shop you reached for your drink and sipped on it, smiling down at your beautiful daughter as she gazed up at you;
“Hey there my little Luna, better now? Is that the good stuff? Yeah? Well that’s what your Daddy says it is…” you said with a whisper and a smirk.
“Hey”
The sudden greeting made you jump, looking up to see Walter standing near your table;
“Oh, Hi Walter”
“Sorry…” he glanced away, averting his eyes from where you were feeding; “I just asked if you wanted anything?”
“Oh no, i’m fine, i’ve got a coffee… but you’re welcome to join me if you like? Sy and Mikey will be along once the Parade’s over”
Nodding once the quiet man went to order before returning with what looked like a quad espresso but faltering when it came to taking a seat;
“Where did you want me to sit?”
“Oh anywhere you like” you shifted Luna as she had finished on one breast, hooking that side up before shifting and moving her to the other breast. You’d mastered the art of switching breasts without revealing anything, the baby's head blocking any view of a nipple, and you were a vehement supporter of breast feeding - in fact any feeding - and had been known to get into loud shouting matches with anyone that told you to cover up something that was completely natural.
“I mean, i don’t want Sy to think i’m here oggling his wife’s tits”
Laughing, you kicked out a soft chair with your foot;
“This is fairly low, take this one and here…” you moved the upright menu on the table in front of Luna’s head, knowing that she would now be shielded from view and with your breast, and saving Walter’s embarrassment.
Just as Walter sat down Sue brough over his sandwich, the scent of it hitting your nostrils and making your stomach audibly growl;
“Oh wow, what is that?”
“A steak wrap with chimichurri sauce” he lifted one half and offered it to you, but you shook your head.
“Thanks, but that’s just a little too rare for me… looks like a good veterinarian could bring it back to life”
Walter laughed as you called out to Sue, ordering one of the same.
“You want yours still mooing too?”
“Medium, please” you laughed as she nodded and walked away.
As she cooked your meal you turned back to Walter. You’d had a few conversations with him over the 11 months he and Sy had worked together, but knew very little about him apart from his reputation of being quiet and surly, generally sleep deprived and a little pale most of the time. He’d been medically retired from the Police Department after an accident where he’d lost a lot of blood and had never fully recovered.
As Luna happily fed and Walter devoured his sandwich you sipped on your drink, watching with curiosity as the man ate in silence, savouring each bloody bite. When he finally crumpled the napkin onto the plate and sat back he caught you watching him;
“What? Do i have something on my face?”
“No” you laughed softly; “Just watching how quickly you devoured that sandwich. Rachel not feeding you at home?”
Walter’s face dropped;
“She left”
“Oh fuck. I’m sorry Walter, i wouldn’t have said anything if i’d known”
“S’ok. She got fed up with the way i lived my life, but i can’t change who i am”
“True”
Just then Sy and Mikey came running into the coffee shop;
“Hi Darlin! Hi Sue! Hi Walt… be right back, Jnr has a bathroom emergency!”
The two Syverson boys disappeared into the restroom, and you could clearly hear Sy’s voice;
“Point! POINT IT AT THE TOILET! That’s it, stand on your tippy toes… there we go! Got here in time!”
You suppressed a laugh, Walter raising his eyebrows;
“Potty training?”
“Uh-huh… it's been a challenging few weeks to say the least, but Mikey wanted to give it a go”
The sound of the dryer could be heard as Sy and Mikey reappeared, Sy giving you double thumbs up from behind his son who ran to you;
“A perfect aim Darlin, no leaks. Think this deserves a cookie!”
As Mikey squealed with joy you groaned;
“Sy… not more sugar! He’ll be up all night. Mikey, honey, how about some fries?”
“And Eggies?” Mikey asked
“Sure thing honey, get Daddy to ask Sue”
As the afternoon wore on and the boys chatted, you listened as Sy and Walter discussed work stuff, Luna sleeping peacefully in your arms as you ate with Mikey. Finally glancing at your watch you motioned to Sy the time;
“Hun, i’ve gotta go collect our meat order from Walkers Meats”
“Oh yeah, sure. Here…” He opened his wallet and peeled off a bunch of $20’s as he turned to Walter; “She makes the best Steak Tartare… it's unbelievable”
“You make that?” Walter asked
Angling Luna into her carrier sling you adjusted the straps and nodded;
“Sure do! Hey, did you want to join us for dinner?”
“Yeah, join us!” Sy parroted; “And before you say anything, you wouldn’t be intruding”
With a weak smile Walter nodded;
“Sure, that’ll be nice. I gotta go to the lumber yard before though… pick out the stuff for next week's job”
You noticed that Mikey had finished his meal and was looking sleepy, holding your hand out to him he slid off the chair and stood next to you;
“How about I take the kids home, Sy you catch a ride with Walter?”
With everyone happy with the arrangements you made your way along main street to where Sy had parked his enormous truck, helping Mikey into his seat before unlatching Luna and settling her into her carrier. They were both fast asleep by the time you got to the drivers seat. 
You managed to park directly outside the door to Walkers Meats, and Freya the weekend girl helpfully brought everything out to you when you called inside that the kids were asleep in the car and you didn’t want to leave them.
-
Dinner had been fun. The two kids were peacefully sleeping as the three adults chatted after the meal, before you finally stood to load the dishwasher and start hand washing the items that couldn’t go in there. Just as you were about to start you heard a cry from the kids, Sy standing;
“It’s Mikey, i’ll go”
As you started to handwash the various knives and delicate glasses, Walter stood at your side to dry items, the two of you talking casually before you let out a cry and pulled your hand from the soapy bowl of water. The dark crimson of your blood flowed from your finger, the knife you’d forgotten you’d put in the sink the cause;
“Fuck… hand me a towel…” you asked Walter, but were surprised when he sucked in a sharp intake of breath and turned, hunching over. Clutching your hand to your chest, you were surprised by his reaction, before he suddenly turned and you let out a shriek.
Sy appeared at the doorway in a panic before rushing to you, wrapping a napkin around your hand before he finally turned to look at Walter;
“What the fuck…”
Walter was pale, paler than usual, but that wasn’t what shocked the pair of you. No, it was the fact his eyes were pure white except for dark pools for his pupils, and as he opened his mouth to speak you saw his fangs;
“It’s… it’s the blood…” he gasped out; “It drives me…”
Sy wrapped his arm around your shoulders, but looked at his friend as he slumped onto the floor, shaking and sobbing;
“Think we need a chat Walt”
-
The three of you sat around the kitchen table, a hefty glass of scotch in front of each of you as Walter spoke;
“So umm yeah… this is why i left the Department. Went into a supposedly abandoned building, but it wasn’t empty. Two what we thought were junkies in there, looked like they were frail and would snap in a keen wind, but they had this strength and speed… They overpowered me, latched onto my neck. Drained my blood, and when the last drop was about to pass their lips one of my officers finally found me and shot them. They bled into me. The EMT’s took me to New Mercy and gave me a massive blood transfusion, and treated me for severe anemia… well guess what, the fangs and fucked up eyes were a surprise a few weeks after i was discharged”
You sat wide eyed and mouth agape, not touching your drink;
“I have so many questions...”
“Okay”
“Garlic. Crosses. Being invited in. Sunlight…”
Walter chuckled;
“Most a load of complete bollocks. Garlic? Well you put some in your steak tartare didn’t you? In fact it helps with the anemia. Crosses? No issue. Being invited in, again that’s just rubbish. Sunlight however… why do you think i’m so pale, huh? Have to wear factor 50 all the damn time otherwise i end up looking like a Maine Lobster at a cookout”
Both you and Sy were transfixed, Walter chatting away but his eyes hadn’t returned to normal and his fangs occasionally caught on his lip as he spoke.
“What ‘bout blood then?” Sy asked
Walter cleared his throat;
“Well, i’ve been making do with cows blood since Rachel left”
“You used to suck her blood?” you asked in a high pitched voice
Again Walter cleared his throat, this time just the faintest hint of a blush crept over his cheeks above his beard;
“Err yeah, about once a month… but she had enough in the end and left”
“I got another question” Sy interjected; “Why are your fangs still out?”
Although he answered Sy, Walter looked directly at you;
“Because she’s bleeding”
You looked down at your hand, puzzled as the wound had now sealed, before it hit you;
“Oh… I should go and sort that out”
Sy caught up quickly, glancing at the back of your dress;
“You’re fine Darlin, Walt caught it in time”
When you returned to the kitchen the two men had knocked back their drinks, Sy pouring another hefty glass for the pair of them. Pouring your drink into Sy’s you smiled at him;
“Luna won’t appreciate it”
Making yourself a herb tea you sat down next to Sy, leaning on his shoulder as you sipped your tea. Walter cleared this throat;
“You two have taken this a lot better than i envisioned anyone would… better than Rachel did…”
You looked up at Sy and smiled, his own grin crossing over his face before he nodded and you both turned to Walter as Sy spoke;
“Oh… we have a bit of understanding of this kinda thing”
With the full moon starting tomorrow night you knew that you could both force your eyes to turn orange, the bright ring of fire in your irises flaming like a pyre, shocking Walter so much he slipped back on his chair and fell to the floor. Greeted by both of you giggling, he pulled himself back up using the table as he righted his chair, knocking back the rest of his glass;
“What… the… FUCK?”
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asraalnazarlove · 3 years
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Hello, I love your content and I was wandering if you were still doing headcannon requests?
If so, could we please get some extremely fluffy the M6 and MC's normal everyday routines please? So like, who wakes up first, what they have for breakfast, where they eat, what they do most of the day, fluffy interactions, dinner time, evening chill session, night time routine, etc.
Thank you and I love your posts! ♥️
ABSOLUTELY. as always, thanks so much for the ask! if i did all that at once this post would be 18 pages long, so i'm gonna split it up.
for now, here's M6 and MC morning routines :]
ASRA - you wake up to him sleeping with his mouth wiiide open, breathing deep and slow, every exhale ruffling your hair. his arms are still wrapped around you; even asleep, he wants to be as close to you as possible. he never wakes up first if he can help it--he sleeps like a rock. - once you're awake, it doesn't take him long to follow, though. every morning he spends a little while looking at you, as if reminding himself you're really his, committing you to memory all over again. - if it's a slow morning, and neither of you have anywhere to be, he'd be happy to lay in bed with you for hours. cuddle, talk, kiss, mornin' lovin'--anything. morning cuddles are his favorite thing. sometimes you both drift back off to sleep and wake up again. it's the most peaceful and happy time of day. - once you're both out of bed (which always takes some convincing) he immediately gets to making tea. sometimes he'll make breakfast with it, sometimes you do the cooking, but most of the time the two of you walk to the market arm in arm with your tea mugs left to cool on the counter at home. you pick out fruit you like, and never leave the market without a warm, fresh loaf of bread. - your day almost always ends up starting in earnest around noon--any earlier than that is dedicated to your roughly 3-4 hour morning routine of cuddles, tea, and breakfast. even nadia knows not to bother sending for you before then unless it's very urgent.
NADIA - most days nadia has to get up relatively early in order to make all of her appointments and tend to duties of the state. on those busy days, she rises quietly, tucking you in and giving you a kiss on the forehead before leaving you to keep sleeping. - once you wake up, the two of you meet for breakfast--sometimes on her balcony, sometimes on the veranda, sometimes in the gardens--and she updates you on court life. she often asks your opinion on city renovations, telling you about her headaches with the court. if she starts to go off on a tangent to things you don't understand much about, she catches your eye and laughs softly, shaking her head and asking why she's speaking of other things when she could be spending time with you. the rest of breakfast is spent talking about your future together, whether that's the wedding or just what you'll do this weekend. - when you finish breakfast you often sit a little longer in each other's company; if you're outside, you'll lay down with your head on her lap while she runs her hands through your hair, the two of you content to lay around in the sun until you're inevitably called to your duties. - on weekends, or if nadia gets an unexpected day off, she orders breakfast brought to the room. you eat and then immediately head out for a date in the city markets.
JULIAN - this man is a disaster in the morning. usually if he has something big to deal with the next day, he'll be up late worrying and you have to drag his ass to bed. when it's morning, he never wants to get up, because he was up so late and didn't get enough sleep. he'll wrap his gangly limbs around you and bury his face in your hair, mumbling something about how lucky he is to have you...and how much he does not want to get up. - he's also the little spoon unless you insist otherwise. he might be tall, but that doesn't stop him. you usually wake up first, and if you try to move he'll latch onto you like a leech. even in his sleep. sometimes he'll wake up first and pretend to still be asleep so that when you wake up he can enjoy the morning snuggles a little longer. - you make breakfast together, more often than not it turning into some sort of food fight, where he flicks water at you and then you chase him around the house with a spoon of oatmeal trying to aim it for his hair. you usually end up bathing together afterward. - once it's time to get dressed, you usually pick out outfits for each other. sometimes j will want to wear something of yours throughout the day to keep your scent with him while he's working. he also loves to see you wearing his shirts. he showers you with complements every chance he gets.
MURIEL - when the two of you started living together the first order of business was a gigantic bed. muriel was fine with trying to squeeze onto his little bed, but it got a bit unrealistic pretty quickly, what with two whole people and a wolf. you managed to convince him to get a nice big one. he and innana and you still squeeze together on about half of it, though, most of the time. - he always, always wakes up first. sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night and doesn't go back to sleep, content to look up at the ceiling and pet innana, or to simply watch you breathe. he likes the reminder that you're alive and happy next to him, especially after a nightmare. - the two of you don't talk much once you're both awake--little sentences here and there, sometimes little jokes and sometimes simple "i love you"s, but that's just because you don't hardly need to; you understand each other. you braid his hair out of his face, sitting on the edge of the bed with him the floor, innana's head in his lap. - he likes to make breakfast for you, and often tries to time it so it's ready right when you wake up. sometimes it doesn't work, and he wakes you up to eat it before it gets cold. - every day, you go on a walk together, innana scouting ahead or trailing behind. you check the perimeter and refresh the magic of the protective charms. asra comes to visit sometimes, and the three of you will go exploring together.
PORTIA - ohh, the cuddles. portia loves any and all of them, whether your arms are around her or she's wrapping hers around you; she just loves affection, and will almost always start the morning bright and early with lots and lots of kisses, all over you. what can she say, she's a morning person. - she goes to work at the palace pretty early still. you walk her to work, and the two of you eat breakfast together in the palace kitchens, talking to all of her friends there. they all know you almost as well as she does, and even though you don't reeally work there you're still one of the little crew. you know all of the ins and outs of their lives, all of the inside jokes and passages of the palace and its staff. if you ever miss anything, portia makes sure to update you when you walk home later that evening. the gossip never stops, and you can't be left out of the loop. - once portia starts working in earnest it's hard to get her to stop, but she'll always come see you on her lunch breaks, telling you about whatever funny thing happened with the nobles that day--who spilled wine on whom, whether or not it was really an accident--and what nadia's been up to.
LUCIO - you are quite literally the only person he won't behead for interrupting his 'beauty sleep.' well, maybe not behead, since he doesn't do that (...much) anymore. the two of you sleep in the most luxurious bed money can buy, complete with four posters and a canopy. the dogs, of course, sleep right at your feet. - if he wakes up first, he'll immediately wake you up too so you can help him pick out an outfit for the day. picking out said outfit usually takes an hour. then he dresses you. that takes much less time, since he knows exactly what you look good in. sometimes he'll pick something a little over the top, and you end up (gently) throwing certain offending garments at him in rebuttal. - breakfast is as ornate and gourmet as it can be; you feed him grapes as you lounge together on a chez, you draped over his chest. he only makes you move sometimes so he can get up and act out a story he's telling, to help you picture it better! - once your day actually gets started (if it ever does) he leaves most decisions to you. he trusts your judgement--and he doesn't like decision making much anyways. he's just eager to go back to the rooms with you.
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kaz11283 · 3 years
Text
Of Course I'm Here
Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)
Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.
Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.
ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚
Loki Masterlist
~~~~~
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"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.
"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.
"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.
"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.
"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.
"One time, one dam-"
"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.
"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.
"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.
"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."
"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.
"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.
"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.
"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.
"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.
"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again
"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.
God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.
"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.
"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.
"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.
"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.
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"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.
Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.
"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.
"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.
"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.
"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.
"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.
"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.
"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.
You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.
"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.
"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.
"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.
When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.
"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.
"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.
"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.
"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.
"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.
"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.
"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.
"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.
"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.
"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.
"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.
~~~~~
Tag List:
@kgirardin
@sophlubbwriting
@supbeeches
@high-functioning-lokipath
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soobasaur · 3 years
Text
spent all my love on you
lee!felix x gender!neutral reader
warnings: since laser tag is in this fic theres mentions of shooting and guns, which is referring to the game where they shoot other players in order to gain points, nothing violent
a/n: hey look a felix au finally in your pov! i told you i’d do it hehe,, and if you remember when i accidentally posted this then no you don’t (⊃。•́‿•̀。)⊃ i’ll finish ur requests i swear ಠ_ಠ anyways enjoy!
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« masterlist prev work »
for the longest time, your lifelong friend jisung had been bugging you to go to this arcade with him
you eventually said yes since you physically couldn’t say no to his puppy eyes and he took you there one weekend
he was practically bouncing the entire way, babbling about all the people you’d meet
turns out he came here every weekend to play laser tag with a couple of friends he made here
this was news to you, but you let jisung lead you to a pool table in the back where six boys were..attempting to play pool?
after several games of game pigeon pool you were an expert !! or at least more then what these guys were doing
the one with long hair was holding the billiard the wrong way (╥_╥)
you could hear the cheerful laughs coming from them as jisung tugged you beside him
“guys, this is y/n, the friend i mentioned! y/n these are the dumbasses i started hanging out with-,”
“if anything, you’re the dumbass!” the one holding the billiard upside down reprimanded, dropping the stick and making his way towards you both “i’m hyunjin, nice to meet you!”
“hi hyunjin—,”
“move out of the way! hi i’m jeongin!” a new boy appeared, shoving hyunjin away as he held his hand out
“oh, hello!”
one by one all the boys came up to introduce themseleves to you, well six of them at least, didn’t jisung say there were seven of them?
“where the hell is felix?” jisung asked, looking towards who you now knew as minho “is he doing the thing again?”
minho solemnly nodded before gesturing to the claw machine a couple feet away from them, and there stood a blond haired boy with his back faced to them as he aggressively tried to win what looked like a stuffed animal
jisung shook his head before gesturing for you to follow him
“is this a normal occurrence?” you asked as you both made your way to the boy
“yeah, last month is was the dance revolution game and this week it’s the claw machine-felix!”
said boy let go of the claw to turn and smile widely at the both of them “sungie! do you have a token i can use to try again? pleaseeee?”
jisung rolled his eyes as he tossed the boy a token before pointing to you
“this is y/n, they’re playing with us now.”
“oh,” felix turned his head to you, giving you a once over before winking “nice to meet you,” before rolling the token in “let me make my first impression winning a stuffed toy!”
“you’ve been at this forever, which one do you want?” jisung asked, waking closer to press his head against the glass
felix solemnly pointed to the chick plushie tucked into the corner, and you admit it was cute so you could see why he was trying so hard
“want me to try?” you asked, stepping closer as you looked over the machine
“go for it!” he smiled, moving out of your way to press himself against the glass next to jisung
you clicked start and took a hold of the joystick
you squinted your eyes and found the same plushie a bit closer, hidden behind another one and aimed for that instead
you heard gasps coming from where the two boys were standing as the claw grabbed the two plushies and dropped them into the box
and since you had some extra seconds left you managed to grab one more
“there you go!” you pulled out the plushies and handed felix the chick one and gave jisung the squirrel one, keeping the llama one for yourself
“wow we all match now!” jisung cheered
“thank you!” felix said, his eyes shining with glee as he looked at you, and you were this close to getting all the plushies out so he could always look this happy
“no problem-,”
“HEY LOSERS OUR GAME IS STARTING HURRY UP!” you heard minho interrupt, as he and the other boys disappeared behind some doors
you guys ran behind him, tucking the plushies away for later
there was another group of people with you and since the teams were randomized, your group got split up after getting the gear on
“prepare to lose!” hyunjin teased, sticking his tongue out at you, chan, seungmin, and jeongin (who were on the same team as you)
“shut up!” jeongin glared, holding up his laser gun and pretending to shoot the other
jisung joined in and started to play shoot you, while you feigned getting shot
before you could play shoot him back the lights went off and the gate opened, letting you guys inside as the game was about to start
you and your team each split up, making plans to shoot at least one member
your ignore the way your stomach fluttered at the thought of felix chasing after you but quickly shook those out of the way, you had to stay focused !
once the bell rang you were off, you hid behind the walls as you shot a couple of the other team’s players
you spotted a familiar pair of shoes and quickly went to go shoot jisung, who gave you a pout as you ran off giggling
you watched your score steadily go up as you got more and more people, and the adrenaline was getting to you, you were motivated to win this thing 〴⋋_⋌〵
you had only been shot a couple of times so you weren’t too worried about getting caught,
you were currently hiding in the corner where no one had found you yet as you shot anyone who ran past
you were just about to shoot a player on the opposing team when you felt a prescence behind you
quickly turning around you were met with felix giving you a sly grin as he backed you into the wall
“your cornered now y/n,” he whispered, pulling out the gun as he aimed it at your vest, “game over for you.”
you ignored the fast beating of your heart as he made his way closer, his free hand coming to make trace its way down your jaw
“you look really pretty under these lights,” he muttered, quirking an eyebrow up and he angled his face a bit closer “lucky i get to see you like this.”
you were too nervous to squeak out a thank you as felix closed the gap between the two of you, but just before he could come any closer you heard the familiar beep on your vest
you look down to see you’ve been shot and felix shooting you a sly grin, the little shit
“distracted by my charm?” he teased, his lips right beside your ear, “am i that handsome?”
you rolled your eyes as he backed away
“i’d love to stay but your vest is charging up so i’m gonna blast, bye sweetheart,” he blew you a kiss before running off
you huffed as you waiting for your vest to reset, following after the blonde boy as you did so
no way you were gonna let him get the last shot between the two of you
and maybe you wanted to be that close again to him...
after ducking behind a couple of pillars you finally spotted him crouching behind a wall as he shot one of your teammates
you let yourself grin in victory as you made your way behind him, making sure you weren’t seen, then aiming your gun at the back of his vest
you shot him and watched in glee as his vest gave out a beep and saw him look around for the culprit before spotting you giggling behind him
“you!” he smiled, geting up from his hiding place on the ground and wagging his gun at you
“you didn’t expect to get away with that, did you?” you laughed, backing away as he made his way closer to you and holding out your gun, “i’ll get you again!”
“cool down time is a minute,” he grinned, letting you back yourself up into the wall, “what do you wanna do with that one minute?”
you let your eyes wander off toward his lips,,but you swear it was cus he was talking!
not cus he looked extremely kissable
perhaps you stared too long cus he took notice and cupped your jaw
“mhm, ten seconds is enough,”
“enough for what—?”
you were shut up with his lips capturing yours, leading you for a bit before pulling back
“sorry babe but my time is up,” he winked before shooting you in the vest and running off
took you a few moment to realize what happened before you were chasing after him
“FELIX YOU MF”
when the game ended you and felix were tied to your immense surprise, while jisung was currently boasting about his first place
now that you were out of the dim lit laser tag room you could see felix in better light,
and god damn
you could see the swear glistening on his face from all the running and his unkempt hair from the humid room
you weren’t too sure if this was a one time thing or he actually wanted to try something with you
you were crossing your fingers it was the latter
you got ur answer soon enough when you felt a tap on your shoulder and an awkward felix made his appearance
it was endearing to see his confident side and nervous one all in one day
“do you maybe wanna, grab lunch after tomorrow? just me and you?”
you played along to being oblivious before you replied,
“lee felix...are you asking me out?”
his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink before nodding at you
you gave him a smile before saying yes, the rest was history
bonus headcanons:
apparently jisung had a bet on which one of his friends you would end up dating, ro your surprised he had guessed it would be felix
ಠ_ಠ sometimes you forgot how well jisung knew you
you also found out he didn’t come every week just for laser tag, he also wanted to get close to a specific boy named changbin ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
which was endless teasing material for you
after the lunch date the next day, you both stopped by the arcade again and this time he managed to win you a little prize
since you both had just met one another a good majority of your dates were just you two chatting as you walked aimlessly, getting to know one another
and after about one month he invited you over to his place to cook dinner for you, which is where you shared your next kiss <3
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thank you for reading ⁂
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hadeskitchen · 2 years
Text
Update 12.29.21
Yeah, it's the middle of the week but it's been too long since I did an update on this blog, so I'm doing one now. (I'm gonna start doing shorter updates every weekend starting with the new year.)
I want to start off by mentioning that I'm working on a Twine tutorial template
I ended up making a (sugarcube) Twine tutorial template for a friend a couple weeks ago. Since then I've been turning that template into a detailed tutorial on coding and Twine that will be released very soon. Hopefully, it'll be useful to people who are in the process of switching from cog to Twine, who've decided that they want to make an IF game as their New Year's resolution, or anyone else who may be interested. I may even produce a few video tutorials to accompany it if I have the time. But until it comes out, if you have any questions or requests for specific things you'd like to see in the template, please let me know! ☺️
As a note, I'll be trying to show a variety of writing/coding styles in addition to my own and, as a general rule, would never judge or look down on someone for not doing things like me.
Okay, onto Hades' Kitchen...
With Hades' Kitchen, the first episode is fully planned and I'm about halfway through writing what will be the first demo release. I'm currently polishing up this first half and will be sending it out to beta testers soon. I'm currently aiming for a realistic and comfortably vague spring 2022 release.
Hades' Guide has a small update coming tomorrow that will include:
In-depth profiles for the olympian and chthonic deities
New MyShade profiles for Alex and Julio as well as updated profiles for the ROs
Better navigation mechanics that should make moving through the app faster and easier
Some minor bug fixes, grammar and spelling corrections, and accessibility improvements
There's also gonna be a larger Hades' Guide update coming within the next few weeks that will include:
Full lists of mortal and monstrous beings with explanations of each
The story of Hades and Persephone
More information about Underworld society, politics, and urban legends
A map of Neo Olympus with more info on the cities/regions MC can be from
Miscellaneous entries on background lore like the Trojan War, ripper surgeons + cybernetic enhancements, ECHO, prophets, wanted criminals, CirceTV + The Odyssey, and more...
Inevitable bug fixes and corrections from the smaller update
Other HK stuff I've been doing:
Making artbreeder portraits for the characters
Drawing actual portraits for the characters (but who knows if I'll ever have the guts to share them)
Playing with/improving the game's UI
Updating all the existing posts on this blog with accurate info and better tags
Getting the other short stories ready for release
Drafting lore posts and individual character profiles for Tumblr
Working on the last few asks I've yet to answer (mainly just cause they're longer)
Writing a little "which character are you"-type quiz
Coordinating with the giveaway winners
My other projects are truly on the backburner right now. My attention is solely on getting the demo for HK completed and finishing up this tutorial. (But I'm debating revealing the name of the secret IF soon, idk, let me know if you're interested in that or learning about my other projects).
That's all for now! I hope you've all managed to survive the holiday season and truly wish you the very best for this upcoming year. Thank you so much for your support, it truly means the world to me. 💜
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cherryobx · 3 years
Text
5+1//JJ Maybank x reader
requested?: YES “Hey! I love all your fics so much and I was wondering if a could request a 5+1 JJ fic? So it would be the five times y/n thinks about kissing jj, and the one time she finally does it🤍”
A/N: a little christmas present to you guys! merry christmas to those who celebrate it!!!
summary: the five times you think about kissing JJ and the one time you finally do it
warnings: a few curse words (and by a few i mean 1), kissing, mentions of domestic violence, hurt!JJ
WC: 1829 (the longest fic i’ve ever posted!)
(not my gif! creds to the owner!!!)
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1
It was a scorching day at the Outer Banks and you had an idea to go swimming with the pogues. Just to cool off a little bit. The fans in the chateau weren’t helping with the heat much and swimming in the cool water seemed like the only reasonable option.
Everyone grabbed their towels and headed to the back of the chateau. None of you had the strength to go anywhere further.
The boys dropped their towels and immediately ran splashing into the water. You, Kiara and Sarah, took your time.
Testing the water first, you tipped your toes in. The water was the perfect temperature, not too cold nor too warm. You went in and the closer to the boys you got, the more they started to smile.
As soon as you reached them they started splashing you with water.
“You idiots! Three against one is unfair.” You splashed some water right back at them, aiming for their eyes.
JJ grabbed your hands in an attempt to stop you from “drowning them”. Their words, not yours.
The moment JJ grabbed your hands, you swore your heart stopped beating for a second.
You had been crushing on him since the day you met him several years ago. You couldn’t explain it but there just was something about him that pulled you to him.
You looked up into his ocean blue eyes. For a second, his eyes darted to your lips, making your heart beat faster and faster by second.
He let go of your hands and stepped back a bit, giving you space again.
You released the breath that you didn’t realize you were holding.
Of course, you had thought about kissing JJ before but after that incident, you started thinking about it more and more. Wondering what his lips would feel like against yours.
2
“JJ, stop! I’m going to fall!” you shrieked trying to balance yourself, which seemed like the most difficult thing ever at the moment.
Everyone in the Outer Banks seemed to be really good at surfing. Not you though. And now JJ had taken it upon himself to teach you how to surf. It was his goal for this summer.
“You’re not going to fall, I’m right here.” For some reason, those words awakened the butterflies in your stomach.
You slowly sat down onto the board, facing JJ who was standing next to you in the water, trying so hard not to fall.
“I don’t understand how you do this shit every day. It’s exhausting. And difficult. Very difficult.”
“It’s not difficult once you get the hang of it, sweetheart.”
He placed his hand on your thigh. It was meant to be a comforting gesture but your breath hitched in your throat.
The butterflies were almost unbearable.
You wanted to kiss him so bad.
But you didn’t.
“You want to go surfing? I can go sit on the beach for a bit,” you offered.
“You don’t want to try anymore? C’mon! Don’t give up now.”
“I’m hopeless, JJ. And I know you’d much rather surf than teach me.”
“First of all, not true, but I mean if you really don’t want to you can go.”
You jumped off the board, standing in front of him.
“I’ll wait up for you then.”
“You sure?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.
“Yeah,” you nodded. 
The truth was, you just wanted to see him surf. It was an incredible sight to see. Not only was he really good at it, he also looked very very hot while doing it.
You made your way to the beach and sat on your towel, the feeling of his hand on your thigh still vivid.
3
Most nights of the summer, you slept at John B’s house. So did JJ. Occasionally Pope and Kiara too. You thought it was pointless to go home when you’d just go there to sleep. So you stayed at the chateau a lot.
It was 2 a.m. and you were sitting on the kitchen counter. You couldn’t sleep. You wanted to but your mind was awake, racing with many different thoughts.
You almost screamed when JJ appeared out of nowhere, standing in front of you.
“Shit, JJ! You scared me!” You placed your hand on your heart and felt it beat in a fast rhythm.
“Sorry.” He chuckled.
Then he leaned closer to you, stretching his arm behind you.
Your faces were so close and for a second you though you had seen him look at your lips. Was it finally going to happen?
Then he pulled away, a glass in his hand and a smirk on his lips.
He filled the glass with water and then took a sip out of it. Placing the glass back onto the counter he sent you one last smirk before saying “I was thirsty.”
4
Again, it was late at night and you couldn’t sleep. 
You went to the small dock behind the chateau and sat down on the edge of it.
It was a beautiful night. The stars were shining so bright, illuminating everything. 
You were just sitting there, stargazing, when you heard steps behind you. Turning around, you saw JJ walking towards you.
He sat down beside you, not saying a single word.
“Is this going to be our thing?” you asked, looking at him.
He turned his head towards you. “What?”
“You creeping up on me at night.”
“Maybe. I mean if you want to.” He turned his head away again, staring up at the sky.
The light coming from the stars made his skin glow, making him almost look heavenly. He was the most gorgeous boy that you had ever seen. And that moment right there made you fall for him even deeper.
The thought of kissing him popped into your head again. 
You wanted to kiss him, very much. But the fear of losing him as a friend was bigger. So you didn’t.
But you knew that one day you wouldn’t be able to hold the urge back anymore. It was bound to happen.
5
You and the pogues were at The Wreck since none of you (except Kiara) were good at cooking.
Her dad was quite annoyed with you all but since he was a good man, he let you do your own thing and eat there.
Kiara brought all the food to the table and then sat down next to you.
“Where’s JJ?” you asked, noticing his absence. 
“Umm… he’s over there.” Kiara pointed to the direction where JJ was supposed to be.
You looked over there and saw something that made your heart physically hurt.
JJ was talking to a girl, flirting with her. They were standing really close too. JJ grabbed a strand of her blonde hair and twirled it between his fingers while telling her something and making her laugh.
Your mood was instantly ruined. But the thing that made you hurt the most was that they kissed. Right in front of you. You wanted to cry right there and then.
And the pogues noticed it too. It was no secret that you took interest in a certain blonde pogue.
“I think I’m gonna go home.” You stood up from the table, not hungry anymore.
“Do you want me to come with you?” Kiara asked, a worried look in her eyes.
“No, it’s fine. You stay here.”
While walking home, the scene of JJ and that girl kissing played over and over again in your head. And again you were wondering how it would feel like to kiss him.
You wanted to be the one JJ made laugh. You wanted to be the one he kissed. Was it too much to ask for?
It felt like you had made it very clear with all the subtle hints that you were throwing at him occasionally but after seeing what happened at The Wreck that day you were proved wrong.
1
It was a few days later. You had been staying at your house for all that time. Your parents were on the mainland, visiting your grandparents for the weekend so you were home alone.
You quite enjoyed it actually.
The peace and silence was all you needed right now.
All of the pogues had texted and called you but you ignored all of them.
You needed some time to be alone.
10 o’clock was rolling around and you were preparing to go to sleep when you heard a loud banging on the front door.
Putting on a big oversized hoodie to cover up, you went to see who it was.
Opening the door, you saw JJ standing there. He looked very bad. He was beat up, blood coming out of his nose and many cuts on his face. Since he was wearing a shirt you couldn’t really tell if he was hurt on his body too or not. But seeing the state of his face you assumed he was.
“What happened to you?”
“My dad is what happened.” Was all he mumbled.
You were one of the few people who knew how his dad treated him. But still you were shocked to see the damage.
You opened the door wider, gesturing for him to come in. You closed the door and locked it after him.
“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” You grabbed his hand and gently pulled him towards the bathroom where the emergency kit was.
JJ leaned against the sink while you took out the kit and all the stuff to clean his cuts.
To clean his face you had to be very close to him but right now you didn’t care. The most important thing to you at the moment was his well being.
He winced when you started cleaning his cuts. Out of pure instinct he placed his hands on your hips.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.”
“I know but I feel like I should've done something.”
“You didn’t know.”
After cleaning all the cuts on his face you asked to see the bruises on his body.
He tried to take off his shirt but you saw he was struggling due to the pain, so you helped him.
“Oh god.” His whole chest and torso was covered in dark purple bruises. You wanted to cry. He must have been in so much pain.
“I didn’t do anything, Y/N. I couldn’t stop him.” There were tears in the corners of his eyes and soon enough, they rolled down his cheeks.
You placed your hands on his cheeks, wiping away the tears with your thumbs.
“I’m sorry.”
“Please make the pain go away. I can’t take this anymore.”
You felt your eyes get glossy too. “I can try. I will always try.”
You leaned closer to him and connected your lips for a kiss. This isn’t what you imagined your first kiss with him to be like but you needed to be there for him. You wanted to be there for him.
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uwuwriting · 3 years
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Breaking in pt.2 w/ Aizawa, Shinsou and Bakugou
Request: Hi!! SoooOO I recently found your stuff and it's safe to say I am ✨obsessed✨ I LOVED the post you did of the BNHA reacting to someone breaking in with Hawks, Dabi and Todoroki. I was wondering if you could do another one with like Shinsou, Bakugou and Aizawa. I feel like Baku would throw mad HANDS. love your work stay stuff and have a good day x - anonymous
Okay I too love rescue fics and being kidnapped or held hostage is one of my favorite tropes. Throwing your kids in the mix is immaculat at least for me because I’m a die hard fan of domestic AUs. So of course I’m gonna write this trope again with these three idiots. I enjoyed writing the previous one so hehheehehehhe. Love ya. 💖💖💖
masterlist II rules
warnings: some descriptions of violence, some crying but fluff/comfort in the end. 
Aizawa Shota II a son (Kaito)
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-He was running late. 
-He hated running late.
-Today the class had extra training hours and it lasted longer than he expected, so much so that he had to call for someone to fill in his spot on patrol tonight. 
-In reality he really wanted to spend the night at home with you and your 2 year old son, canceling his patrol because the kids didn’t finish training was just an excuse. 
-He had shot you a text informing you that he would be home tonight but a little later than usual. 
-You had just picked up Kaito from his aunt when you got Aizawa’s message. 
-You were excited to spend some time with your husband. 
-Between your time teaching and his midnight patrols, the only moments you truly got to spend with him were in between the classes or when he came home for dinner and then immediately left. 
-You knew he felt bad leaving the two of you alone for so long and you knew he beat himself up for missing precious time with his son. 
-Opening your apartment door you were met with complete silence which was odd. 
-Usually your three cats, Mochi, Mocha and Coco would meet you at the door, mewing and purring at your feet, Kaito always wanting to be put down so he could pet them. 
-Now though none of them came and you immediately knew something was up. 
-Your spidey senses were tingling. 
-Setting your stuff down you held Kaito closer to you as you slowly walked around your living room and kitchen. 
-Nothing seemed amiss.
-Kaito let out a small whimper and shifted in your grip as something moved behind you.
-Just because you retired from being a hero doesn’t mean your skills have disappeared. 
-Oh no, as a new mom you were hyper aware of your surroundings and you easily dodged the blow that was aimed at your head. 
-Whipping around you came face to face with a hooded figure that seemed more like a burglar than a villain. 
-The dude's eyes quickly landed on Kaito and he let out a shaky breath. 
-They definitely weren’t villains.
-People were aware of Aizawa’s family and any villain who tried to get to him through you would have known about Kaito’s existence. 
- “Shit…. Yo she has a kid!” 
-Another one came pounding from the hallway, eyes quickly landing on the baby you had clutched to your chest. 
-Letting out an exasperated sigh the second intruder rolled his eyes, grabbing an umbrella from the hanger and slowly making his way towards you. 
-  “Just knock her out and tie her up, put the kid in a crib or something.” 
-You weren’t about to let them touch your son, they wouldn’t even be able to come remotely near him. 
-Activating your quirk, thrumming filled the air as you were prepared to fight them, to keep them away from the crying child in your arms and that’s when you saw him. 
-He is always so silent, his footsteps so gentle on the marble floor of your apartment that you have convinced yourself that he is indeed half cat at this point. 
-Aizawa was burning holes at the back of their heads, hair up as he activated his quirk, cancelling theirs. 
-You kissed Kaito as Shota let his capture tool fly across the room successfully trapping the two burglars. 
-In six strides you were next to him, checking for injuries on each other while simultaneously trying *and failing mostly* to calm your 2 year old down. 
-The police were called, naming this whole incident as a random burglary and not a scheduled attack, relieving both of you; you didn’t wanna move again. 
-That night Kaito slept in your room, cuddled on Aizawa’s chest as you were nestled under his arm. 
-Three fur balls were curled at the foot of your shared bed, purring away lulling you to sleep. 
-You found those three locked in your bathroom.
-Apparently Mocha had scratched the living hell out of one of the burglars and they had locked all of them in the bathroom for safe measure.
- “I’m sorry for this.”
- “Burglaries happen Shota, it wasn’t your fault. I’m glad you came when you did, fighting while holding Kaito would have been kinda difficult. I think I might be getting kinda rusty.”
-He stroked Kaito’s plush cheek before letting out a sigh. 
- “I have never seen him cry like that. When he sees me he always calms down but now-”
- “He was scared, Shota. He saw them before I did and the whole situation shook him up. But he’ll be fine, he’s got us.” 
-Giving you a kiss and then placing another one on his son’s forehead, he closed his eyes, arms tightening around the both of you a little. 
Shinsou Hitoshi II a daughter (Kei)
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-Hitoshi had been to every single pharmacy in the area searching for Kei’s medication. 
-She had gotten sick and you had asked him to fetch some antibiotics your pediatrician had suggested you give her if her fever didn’t go down.
-Now, Hitoshi was getting desperate. 
-It was the flu season and almost all the pharmacies had emptied their shelves from this particular antibiotic. 
-He was ready to pull his hair out. 
-Apart from that, he also hated leaving you alone like this. 
-You both needed him at the moment and he wasn’t helping at all. 
-Kei was suffering from her fever while you were about 7 weeks pregnant and he was out here running around like a maniac. 
-In one last desperate attempt he entered another pharmacy and to his surprise they had what he was looking for and he was out the door in a flash, leaving the store without giving the clerk enough time to say a single ‘thank you, come again.’ 
-Sprinting home, he dashed into your apartment complex and up the stairs, fumbling for his keys as he neared your door only to find it already ajar. 
-Slowing down he looked at the open entryway; he was sure he closed it on the way out. 
-Why hadn’t you closed it? 
-Pushing it open he came face to face with a disheveled living room, Kei’s toys scattered everywhere while one of your armchairs was knocked over. 
-A small whimper suddenly pierced the air and Hitoshi would recognize his daughter’s cries from anywhere. 
-A deep voice told her to shut up which was answered by your angry voice threatening to beat the living shit out of them if they touched her. 
-With silent steps, Hitoshi tiptoed to your daughter’s room where he could hear the talking only to stop dead in his tracks when shuffling came from your bedroom. 
-Another figure emerged from your bedroom halting once they saw Shinsou. 
- “What th-”
- “Sleep.” 
-Without bothering to check if the intruder passed out, Hitoshi pushed open the door, his anger radiating all around him at the very thought that someone had touched his family. 
-The second person whipped around at the sound of the door opening, eyes wide as they met Hitoshi’s, fumbling to activate their quirk. 
-They made the fatal mistake of speaking though and soon they were unconscious just like their friend, laying on the pastel carpet of Kei’s room. 
-In one swift motion he had Kei in his arms and untied your wrists, rubbing the irritated skin and checking for injuries. 
-Kei wouldn’t calm down, her grip on his shirt turned to iron once the police dragged them out of your house. 
- “I wish I could beat their ass.” 
- “You know you can’t use your quirk right now kitten.” 
- “Yeah but they pissed me off.” 
-Your doctor had forbidden quirk use during the pregnancy and that’s why those two morons had managed to catch you. 
-The scowl on your face had become almost permanent and Shinsou couldn’t decide if he should find it cute or terrifying.
-Kei became attached to Hitoshi’s chest.  
-Hitoshi refused to let her go just like she refused to let him go, staying in his embrace for the rest of the day, any attempt to get her away from him resulting in tears. 
-You are kinda salty but some ice cream will fix that. 
Bakugou Katsuki II A son (Tatsuo)
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- “Okay kids, you have a nice weekend and don’t forget to finish your family portraits for Monday. Tatsuo and I would love to see them.” 
-A multitude of goodbyes came through the screen as your kindergarten class, some of your students even opened their cameras to wave at you and your son who was sitting on your lap. 
-Tatsuo babbled back at them, little byes leaving his lips as he too waved back at your laptop. 
-Being in quarantine wasn’t that bad for a kindergarten teacher. 
-Your online classes weren’t difficult to manage and you got to spend more time with your two year old son. 
-The class loved seeing him and would ask if he was joining them each morning. 
-Closing your laptop, you hugged your mini Katsuki as you started heating up his milk. 
-You were humming, gently rocking him as you waited for the milk, giving him stray kisses here and there just to see his little nose scrunch up reminding you of Katsuki more and more everyday. 
-Checking your phone for any new messages, you let out a sigh at your husband’s message saying he was coming home; that was thirty minutes ago. 
-Hero work didn’t let up despite the quarantine. 
-Bakugou was as busy as ever, leaving first thing in the morning and most of the time returning home late in the afternoon sometimes staying out even after midnight. 
-Today though he had managed to get off earlier than usual, promising to cook for both of you tonight. 
-You knew he wanted to spend more time with Tatsuo and the fact that he was gone for the majority of the day was eating him up. 
-He was so worried that he was neglecting his son; he even convinced himself that Tatsuo would soon come to hate him. 
-Your son on the other hand was attached to Katsuki’s hip, always searching for his dad in the morning and beaming when Katsu came home. 
-He could never hate him. 
-The sound of the door opening snapped you out of your little Katsuki infused dream state. 
-Turning around you expected to see your husband in the living room, arms stretched out as he smiled at the two of you. 
-But you were met with three strangers; three hooded strangers holding a crowbar and two bags. 
-It was a staring contest for a solid five minutes before either of you moved. 
-One of them noticed Tatsuo and nudged his “coworker” who then informed the leader of the trio. 
- “Better not make a sound sweetheart, I’d hate hurting that pretty little face of yours.” 
-He took a step forward only for you to take a step back, until your back hit the cupboard. 
-He let out a chuckle and motioned for his rookies to search the place as he continued walking towards you. 
-Tastuo was gripping your shirt, eyes trained on the man, his brows downcast in anger. 
-Your phone lit up on the counter and in one swift move you grabbed it, pressing your emergency call button as the intruder rounded the counter. 
-You sprinted for the front door just as Katsuki picked up only to be grabbed by one of the other two and dragged back inside the house, Katsuki’s yells echoing through the phone. 
-Now you are aware that your husband is one of the top pro heroes. 
-You know that in order to rise to the top charts in this industry you need to have certain attributes like strength, tactical thinking ….speed. 
-You felt him more than saw him. 
-You were wrestling to get the hands of the intruder off of you when you felt the windows rattle. 
-And before you knew it, your husband had tackled the man holding you to the floor, knocking him unconscious with a single punch before pouncing on the other two. 
-Tatsuo was letting out small hiccups as tears rolled down his cheeks, his grip on your shirt never wavering but he refused to sob. 
-He had his father’s pride okay? Even at the age of two. 
-Katsuki had you both in his arms in a flash, calling the police before checking both of you over for injuries and what not. 
- “Did they hurt you? I swear I’ll kill them if they did.” 
-  “We are fine Katsu, just a little shaken.” 
-The moment Tatsuo was in Katsuki’s arms he began to cry, burying his face in his dad’s chest still holding on to your shirt. 
-It took an eternity to calm him down and even longer to put him to sleep, even though he was sleeping in your bed. 
-The next morning Katsuki was on the news for marching to the police station and beating the living hell out of the burglars. 
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