#i think the only label i can say for sure i am is nb but thats so fuckin vague
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mainstream modern queer culture is so frustrating sometimes with all the really fuckin strict labels. my irls wouldn't be able to comprehend how fuckin convulated my identity is now
#vark posts#i realize that means im technically not out to them in that aspect#one of them called me a label i havent thought of myself as in awhile and it made my brain short circuit from how weird it felt#i think the only label i can say for sure i am is nb but thats so fuckin vague#i still dont really know my sexuality is but its at the point where i dont really give a shit anymore#im just a faggot and thats good enough for me#im trans masc to a certain degree but not a man#i could have fuckin facial hair and be happy but im not a man and that would make some people FUMING#theres something so freeing being ehatever tf i want without having to explain#or stress about if im really qualified to be a label#i love being a fuckin freak
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🍕 ❤️ 💚 🧠 FOR HYA MY DARLINGGGGGG and mayhapeth toph my beloved
KORBIE MY BELOVED ORB THANK YOU 💛💛💛
🍕 - What is their favorite food?
i actually just learned this about hya, he’s a red meat + white sauce kind of guy. think about steak fondue or steak bechamel type of energy. he really likes umami and savory flavors in general.
for toph it’s mint flavored anything. mint juleps are his favorite cocktail, mint chocolate or mint chocolate ice cream is his favorite dessert, he just loves Mint. he even uses mint cologne LMAO.
❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?
this one is tough for hya frfr. i honestly don’t think he has his best memory until after canon and he and amon fly the coop and get wedded. and it probably isn’t anything grandiose—just getting a full night’s sleep and waking up to find everything is still at peace and amon’s there beside him. he would not admit to this shit under pain of death but he really cherishes it lol.
for toph, it’s definitely when dolley (nix and trisha’s baby) is born which happens like 3/4 of the way through the story. it’s really emotional for him bc if he hadn’t met trish and nix, dolley wouldn’t even Be here (to;dr trish almost died in a car accident and toph showed nix his demon form to save her) and so there’s something very precious about that to him. he’s the first person who gets to hold her after the parents ofc and he’s just so awestruck haha. dolley’s always gonna have scary uncle toph wrapped around her finger lmaooo.
💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?
hya is troibemme (nb). his sexuality is. complicated. he’s not aroace (neither of us would call him that tho some will definitely headcanon him that way, i already know) but he’s just extremely picky. he doesn’t quite love labels, but i think if i HAD to classify him it would be gay with a Huge asterisk. amon is literally the only person he’s ever been attracted to, even in slum aus where he’s arguably more of a normal person. like amon just does it for him and that’s it pff.
toph is a cis guy (tho being a demon makes his relationship to gender funny cuz he’s like the hell? about it) and he’s extremely bi. he does have a preference for men tho. he and nix are similar where he’d like a woman to overpower him and bc he’s a demon that’s very rare to find. with guys he’s more about being in the lead and so it’s easier for him to cultivate relationships he likes in that regard lol.
🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?
i went on a whole rant about hya already but i can do another one. i really really like his appearance. that sounds really shallow and kinda horny at first, and it is, technically, but i more like the fact that hya puts in such EFFORT for his appearance. i don’t think ive ever had an oc until him who was so genuinely concerned with grooming and keeping themselves to a standard of what they wanted to look like and then doing the work to craft that visage. obvs if i bring it back to myself it’s the translation of my desire to want to be more confident WANTING to look however i want to look (esp when it comes to gender) vs trying to be “convenient” for others and not making a big deal about it. i could say more but yahhh.
dude i love everything about toph (he was actually my first biggest obsession oc but then a lot of stuff happened and then i made hya and ya see where i am now) but i love how he’s crass. making pretty boys who are crass (gestures to hya) is my favorite thing but the thing that really separates hya from toph is the fact that toph is so straightforward about both himself and his feelings and he doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks about it. when i think about his old story before LR, he and hya were way more similar bc #traumabaybee but when i made LR i did kinda kick out a lot of that old baggage and he got more confident and more loud and more sure of himself and he’s GLOWING BABYYYY. i love him so much 😭
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Get to know the blog:
So apparently my horny posts are something worth following for so I guess I'll do a bio and about me thing that definitely won't turn into a random ADHD ramble about shit
About me
I'm Feral, 19 and I never learnt how to read ✌️
^^ I'm leaving this up because I think it's hilarious but I'm 20 now
Living in the UK but not white
demisexual as fuck, preference for women but honestly I'm more interested in how we vibe than any gender. I tend to identify most with lesbian/sapphic labels because I feel most comfortable in this community.
fuck knows my gender either, I mostly present femme atm but I just identify as *all* I'd say I'm more nb/w or nb/nb & t4t but just in love with queer people in general. I am a girl but I'm also a boy, I'm not cis. You aren't straight if you're attracted to me
Owned, completely and utterly in love, technically poly. I'd rather start off as friends and see how it goes (benefits available if we vibe)
-Dni and more under than the cut-
DNI:
I'm saying this now, I love y'all but minors please get off my page *respectfully*. This includes blank blogs without your age/ age range
Cis men-Age regressors-People who fetishise trans people, s*ssies and cross dressers-Gender/sexuality correction-terfs/homophobes etc-
Oh and PSA this fucking includes people who gatekeep LGBT labels, including but not limited to hating on butch lesbians who transition, nb&he/him lesbians. Just honestly if you aren't accepting of the ✨ENTIRE✨ LGBT+ community and how people choose to identify please leave. No buts no ifs no maybes
How to give attention:
Asks are completely okay, if you want to talk through anon regularly pick an emote and I'll be sure to tag it so they're easy to find. Flirt with me or ask questions, just keep it within my limits please.
Requests are also totally okay along with reblogs of any of my posts. They're always appreciated!
Unless we've interacted before please don't randomly DM me. Mutuals are obviously always welcome to chat, for non moots I prefer asks as I get a lot of anxiety
I tend to check out profiles that reblog/follow so if you want to be moots then that's the way to go
I can't believe I have to say this, but if you're only messaging me to sext or roleplay or whatever you call it you can leave. It makes me uncomfortable, and will most likely make me feel weird about talking to you again in the future. I'm happy to flirt but unless we've talked about it nothing more.
Safe words and talks about boundaries and limits are non negotiable in kink. If you're not respectful of that you're not a dom, if you don't have complete understanding of how this works and expect to engage in anything sexual with someone without doing proper preparation you're practicing unsafe and frankly dangerous kink. Kink is something serious and you need to know what you're doing
I'm demisexual, with a partner and require actual communication before I engage in anything other than flirting. If you're literally only talking to me bc I'm hot or for sex n stuff you're going to be disappointed
I also have a shit tonne of anxiety, so I will disappear if something makes me feel unsafe. If I don't reply, don't make it worse by getting upset. I'm sorry but I really just don't have the energy to deal with things, especially when we don't really vibe.
About ✨whore✨me:
I'm a sub mostly, total bottom and complete mess irl. thought I was ace until this year and basically innocent af (I mean significantly less as of v recently but still fairly shy). Also kinda a hermit so I'm very touch starved.
Short long summary of my kinks.. To be continued..
- Praise and nicknames, specifically cute ones that start with "my"
- Exhibitionism Mostly being uh, fucked in front of people and stuff
- hands and fingersJust god, everything to do with them. In my mouth? Yes, Pulling my hair? Yesss, choking me?? Yesssssssss, hurting tf out of me?? Please
- being manhandled, strength, just be stronger than me and throw me around pls&ty
- being a simp for me and letting me get away with pretty much anything?? Yes
- being controlled and posessiveness Like a lot, like probably more than a healthy amount
- being teased, constantly
- marks.. Just fucking marks feeling owned and having proof of it with collars and stuff
- and also pain, pain and more pain all the hard kinks
- voices, dirty talk, the way they beg, and moan, and call me a good girl, the way their voice drops when they tease me. Everything about voices
- corruption.. 👀 😤
- being free use, letting friends fuuck me, being a whore for everyone. Them sharing my nudes with their friends, them letting their friends fuck me? Yes please
- affectionate domination / soft doms but rough sex
- most of this is just the long way of saying I have a massive kink for my pretty ass girlfriend though.. Just everything about them.. Mostly their hands, and their voice and uh.. Yeah just them
Limits:
-degradation, any way shape or form,I'll most definitely cry. Acting like you don't like me, hurt me because you love me not because you think I'm worthless
- pet play, Ddlg and that kind of vibe aren't for me
- I don't quite know how to explain it but the strict af, black suit and tie, academy / high protocol/training style/straight people bdsm. It's just way too nonpersonal for me and not fun. I prefer messing around and stuff plus my gf looks way better in a skirt
- discipline, punishments and other things that make me think you hate me (see: I'm a big ass baby and sensitive af)
- refering to my uhh *anatomy* just uh it gives me dysphoria like a lot so please don't
- body fluid shit, incest, feet, tickling, hypnosis
- other things that I'm not perticularly comfortable talking about here, you don't need to know unless we're talking
Tags I use:
Yes I'm insanely bad at tagging things, yes I'm trying, no it's not working. If I forget to, just get mad at me in asks or something. I'm sorry ADHD just kind of does that
#feral asks - all asks that I've answered
#feral music - music recommendations because I have a god complex about music
#feral in love - direct posts about my gf/wife/partner/Dom/love of my life
#feral tmi - random personal shit about myself and figuring out my body
#feral reblogs - stuff I reblog, I have a separate account where I keep most of my reblogs but sometimes I can't help it
#needy feral - me begging for attention on Tumblr
#feral exposed - photos of me
#tw feral - depressing shit, mute the tag if you don't want to see that shit
#dark feral - hard kink shit, mute if you'd rather not see it
#feral complaints - shit that bothers me
#feral blogs - thoughts, updates and questions for you all about the blog
#nsft#About me#get to know the blogger#get to know me#rambles#im in looooove#i don't know how to tag this#needy feral#feral tmi#feral asks#feral in love#feral music#feral complaints#dark feral#tw feral#feral exposed#feral blogs
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I’m struggling to understand how self-image is the root of sexual orientation… how can it be? When we say the penguins are gay, we don’t mean two with the same self image only love each other. We mean two female penguins or two male penguins only pair bond and have sex with others of the same sex. I want to respect people’s right to fantasy and lives but I don’t want to do it while lying to myself and others especially not about homosexuality.
Is there a way to openly acknowledge sexuality is about sex including in humans but accept people will culturally use the labels to cope with their self image not matching their sex.
I already know all about intersex conditions btw. Intersex activism has been a part of my life for a long time. None of them are a third sex. None of us produce a third gamete. We highlight and don’t undermine sex existing and being the basis of things like sexual orientation.
I feel like part of my issue here is between being homosexual and intersex (CAH) is I know too much about this already to accept the regular arguments for why gender — total social construct — is somehow what defines sexuality for everyone. For bi people I get, and for everyone to have or lack gender preferences I get… but that would have to be learned, developed as we get acculturated. Because gender identities are rooted in our culture. Nobody has like, a nb-identity brain vs a man-identity brain vs an agender identity brain. What would that even be? Where would it come from? Wouldn’t that be the definition of bioessentialism — claiming that gender aka how we culturally feel and act is inborn — It’s learned. Meanwhile sexual orientation is inborn from the womb on. It’s neurological.
So then I end up in circles because I am all about respect including respecting beliefs I don’t see as literally true … but like for that to work I need to be allowed to likewise express how I see it and that my respect isn’t the same as endorsing any of it as literally real necessarily. At least not to me if that’s how people want to see it. And that is NOT how this seems to be playing out culturally. I have never experienced anything with less room to say no I don’t believe that in the face of someone claiming something on pure belief.
I’m afraid I don’t entirely understand what you’re saying here. I will say that nobody thinks gender and sexuality are the same thing. Being trans, enby, or cis is indeed unrelated to being bi, pan, ace, gay, demi, or straight. I have heard that taking HRT can sometimes cause changes in sexual attraction, but I don’t have enough information to comment on that.
If this is in regards to my post about “the enby urge”, that was a joke on the “feminine urge” and “masculine urge” memes. I don’t feel like either “masculine” or “feminine” fully fits me so I used “enby”. Mostly I just wanted to express my support for trans folks and tell them they’re awesome.
I’m going to assume your questions about trans people are In good faith and direct you to resources that can answer these questions better than I can. I hope these will give you a better understanding of trans and enby people.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-there-something-unique-about-the-transgender-brain/
https://translifeline.org/resource/coming-out/
There’s also this fantastic explanation from the good doctor:
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i think i am,,, perhaps,,, gay,,, idk if i actually like girls like i kno i have the potential romantically bc ive had crushes but im p sure im demiromantic so like, base attraction wise its just dudes
#like i think i have the potential to like any gender romantically in the right cercumstances but sexually i like dudes#(n nb peeps are kinda a case by case basis bc since ur not a girl its just abt wether i find u cute or not. odds are i do jkdsfndlks)#like as much as i dont wanna let the bi label go bc its been such a big thing for me for so long i just... dont think its accurate anymore#i feel like ive been forcing myself to like girls when all i rlly felt was respect and friend-love for a long time#like a few cases of small crushes only confused me further too tho jdsnfklcds....#i mean im still bi if i like dudes and nb peeps i guess but i think both labels can fit ykno!#wether i say im bi or gay or just queer all that really matters is that im me and i know who i am#my name is NOAH and im CERTAINLY NOT STRAIGHT THATS FOR SURE
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i don't have an actual tweet thing for batfam twitter au/dickwing au/whatever im calling this for today so here's some headcanons(?) for that au (are they headcanons if you're the one making the au? eh some of these are just headcanons for the characters in general so i guess it still applies)
-bruce has been batman for a couple of decades now, he started in his early 20s and now he's in his late 40s
-the public thinks of bruce as this well-meaning (albeit himbo leaning) dad whose trying his best. back when he first started being batman his public bruce persona was just very much happy-go-lucky himbo (how can bruce be batman? bruce doesn't even know how to tie his shoelaces) but he's now graduated to tired dad (how can bruce be batman? he has six kids to take care of and a company to run)
-and yeah six kids, duke is officially adopted into the wayne family in this
-no, alfred does not have a twitter. he's got too much to deal with already. however, he does know everyone's account information, so yknow, in case a masked vigilante gets beat up really bad then it's not like their civilian account suddenly stops posting
-and yeah alfred is alive. he cannot die. i refuse to believe it. i'm already saying fuck canon i'm not stopping now
-i've seen people in the tags asking/speculating about this, but i've been going on the assumption that each character has two phones: one for vigilante-ing and one for civilian-ing. if one gets stolen or hacked then its not like the thief will suddenly have access to their identity. plus it's not like bruce can't afford multiple phones.
-dick started dickwing because he was bored and thought it would be funny; it becoming a "well no one will think dick grayson is nightwing because they're dating" thing was 100% unintentional but also 100% the immediate excuse he gave when asked by the rest of the fam why he did that.
-dick is a theatre kid. which is obvious from the way i've been writing him but i felt it needed to be said again. i wanna say his fave musical would be newsies but i haven't seen newsies personally so,, i mean, of the musicals i really like and am familiar with, i'd say it'd be cats. now if you're familiar with cats you're like "okay yeah i can see it" but if you only know about it from that terrible movie let me justify myself: it's a dance-heavy musical with lots of amazing feats of athleticism in the dances. also, look up what rum tum tugger looks like in the actual show and then remember dick's discowing costume. i'm right about this.
-cass still doesn't know how to read. she uses a text to speech program to have things read out for her. she's also mostly nonverbal
-babs uses a wheelchair in this. i know some canon stuff does the whole "yeah but she got better" but once again i don't like canon
-no one in this family is neurotypical but the ones i feel most strongly about are bruce and cass are autistic and dick has adhd. pretty sure they all have some form of ptsd too but ngl that seems kind of obvious. and yes bruce being autistic is canon i love reminding people of this :3
-speaking of canon things i like reminding people of because it's often ignored in canon, dick is romani! and bruce is jewish!
-bruce, dick, steph, and tim are bi. or yknow, some kind of mspec, i don't think dick is a big fan of labels, steph probably says she's whatever sexuality makes her joke funnier, and tim is still figuring it out. babs is also bi and that is solely because my mom is bi and babs is her favorite character. cass is a lesbian and you could tell me jason, dami, and duke are whatever sexuality you want and i'd believe you. ngl i don't personally feel comfortable giving dami a sexuality hc myself bc i don't really like shipping/imagining child character in relationships but eh you do you as long as its not actually sexual
-genderwise dick is nb. i am nb and he's my favorite character. i have the right. he's fine w all pronouns but mostly uses he/they. once again he's not really a labels kind of guy. and yes i am still obsessed with that official post that used they/them for damian i know they didn't mean it but yes he/they damian my beloved. also she/they selina kyle.
#im not main tagging this one. this post is for the true fans /j#mini banger of a post#crazwaz posted#fun sized banger of a post#certified banger of a post
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So today we're talking about a few things related to Yuumori's writing. Now, I am doing this as a -ahem- gender fluid lesbian on the ace spectrum diagnosed with a severe anxiety and depressive disorder. I am also someone who has been analysing media and studying queer representation in media for my PhD dissertation and have already written an entire dissertation on queer rep in conservative cultures. So I do believe I'm qualified enough to debunk some bullshit takes that people tote around like facts instead of opinions and attempt to force down everyone's throats and then bitch about the lack of admiration they get from the crowd. I am however not going to put in too much effort into this because my GOD I don't care enough but the sheer misinfo some of you people spread is mind boggling.
So let's start!
YuuMori has bad queer representation.
YuuMori's queer rep is a ridiculous thing to get mad at. For starters the series is Japanese, set in 1800s London, a place where being queer was pretty much punishable by death. Now if the story was explicitly labelled as a forbidden victorian gay romance I could see why people expect there to be massive queer rep at all. However, at no point in the main manga has Sherlock's previous statement of "I have no interest in women" been challenged. Sherlock has consistently only shown visual and behavioral cues implying a crush towards William, his 2 closest relationships are both with men (Liam and Watson) and his interaction with Bond is still the same as before with him being uncomfortable when he clings to him or him showing his fondness of Bond just as he does with Miss Hudson.
If you wish to insist a throwaway line about him being unable to forget Adler (a reference to the Doyle canon where it also wasn't romantic) is romantic then I do think there are more than enough lines he says about both John and Liam with far more intensity and passion that hint towards affection and should therefore also be taken as romantic since that's the narrative hill we are dying on.
YuuMori has terrible trans representation.
The trans representation in YuuMori is bad because...? Well here's the deal, the two random lines that are brought up to insist that the trans thing is fake are both lines that people have criticised the translation of. And yes, both those lines in the main manga are lines that don't necessarily mean just the trans identity. Hell it's honestly a stretch to use those lines as proof since the whole idea behind said lines is "what is my role in Liam's plan" and Bond learning that his role is defined by his own self and choosing. The whole deal was Moran telling him to stop acting like Bond needed to be guided and told what to do and be genuine and Bond immediately chose to embrace his masculine side, never once going back to his old name or pronouns. Furthermore the very idea that Adler should cease to exist in people's memory just because Bond is a person now or that Bond cannot be trans without dysphoria is such absolute horse shit because not everyone suffers from dysphoria the same way. Some never go through dysphoria and instead realise that they just feel better and more true to themselves when they dress up a certain way. A large number of cosplayers realise they are genderfluid, nb or trans because they realise they much prefer dressing up as the opposite gender. You cannot put trans or gender based experiences into a neat little box and gatekeep it. Furthermore, there is no way that YuuMori isn't following the trans narrative, sure you can chose to ignore the glaring hints dropped every where like Sherlock and Watson discussing how Adler's writing is masculine (no matter how great an actor, Adler couldn't have changed her entire hand writing to fit that of a man enough to fool Sherlock), Adler constantly choosing to disguise as a man, Adler not feeling like she fit into the world right, Adler immediately choosing to become a dude, not just any dude but James Bond, the ideal of traditional masculinity. But you cannot ignore the explicitly trans discourse regarding changing rooms. So no, the trans rep in the series is actually rather good all things considered. Just the fact that a few translations can read a little differently and there is a whole horde of people using those vague translations as proof of Adler's cis-ness makes no real difference to how well it is handled. Sure the Irene came back point seems to have blinded everyone with rage so thoroughly that they completely skipped the parts constantly remarking Penny's hardships with playing a man because she is a woman unlike Bond or Bond's complete insistence at being refered to as Bond when he's in a dress. And I've seen a lot of people calling Bond's depressed expression happy and I'm so sorry but how is that HAPPY??? And why is everyone calling him Bond or a he/him in private where no one can see him go back to Irene?
YuuMori is using queerbait and bl tropes for marketing.
Queerbait is when audiences are baited into thinking there is something queer going on in the series so as to get them to spend money on it and then never giving them actual rep. James Fucking Bond is an actual character in this series. No Bond can never confirm if he's trans or non binary or gender fluid simply because those terms do not exist in this era. On the other hand, if we're talking about Sherliam then again no, Sherliam isn't even remotely queerbait. They are first and foremost friends, they have actual romantic tropes attached to them but are never hyper sexualised or put into uncomfortable yaoi dynamics or situations. You are supposed to be reading subtext in their friendship and no YuuMori cannot fully confirm them as a gay couple without risking their slot in the magazine or censorship. Again, Japanese artists need to work around censorship far more than western writers and choose to fall back on other cues, tropes and means of providing romantic subtext. And bl...seriously just because a series that is non romantic has a non het dynamic that borders on romantic doesn't mean it's bl or is using bl tropes. Sherliam are literally using het couple tropes, have parallels with a canonical het couple in the series while also retaining the essence of how a lot of queer people interact with a heavy helping of victorian era flirting.
YuuMori has extremely weak characters.
YuuMori has rather strong characters, no not all characters grow but the world around them does. A character doesn't HAVE to grow themselves as long as they make the world grow around them. YuuMori has struck a nice balance between these two types of development where it stalls some development for characters till it is necessary abd therefore doesn't take attention away from the issue at hand. That is a way of avoiding overwriting which can detract from the main story and narration. For starters the world shifts around the Moriarty brothers. They do successfully spark a massive change in the world around them by staying practically stagnant because had they changed dramatically their entire arc would have fallen flat. The 2 characters with the most individual growth is Sherlock, who grows to accept people and realise their worth and Liam who realises that people will not constantly follow his every whim especially when it involves him killing himself over it. Every character in the series has grown, Moran, Moneypenny, Moriarty brothers, Mycroft etc. So no, characters aren't the weakest point of the series, especially when you realise that the majority of the fandom seems to not dislike anyone in the recurring cast all that much.
YuuMori has no foreshadowing and has bad writing.
Untrue. YuuMori had several instances of foreshadowing throughout it's course. A lot of the character interactions can in fact be seen in a different light when you go back to them after certain key events. Sherlock's interactions with Adler foreshadow his eventual transition into Bond. A lot of conversations between the Moriarty gang foreshadow events that happen in the final problem, chapter 31 Durham date is literally just a pile of foreshadowing disguised as an adorable friendly date. Secondly, YuuMori has pretty strong and tight knit writing. Not only does it seamlessly create new stories out of original stories from the Doyle canon but it also switches up things to both fit into the new version while staying true in its essence of the Doyle canon. Oh and let's not forget how strong the development is, every relationship is expanded upon well enough to justify how certain deep bonds work.
YuuMori has no development between Sherlock and Liam.
Okay now this is just bs or anime only talk but the fact that that angry person keeps insisting that manga sherliam have no development either throws me for a loop. Seriously William's letter basically spells out why they are both so attached to each other and chapter 31 is literally those two growing even more fond of each other. Seriously, how is Sherlock knowing Adler for 1.5 days during which he was irritated with her for 80% of the time enough to be seen as endgame while Sherlock openly admiring and travelling 10 hours just so he can visit Liam "anytime he wants" not enough development to justify his attachment?
YuuMori glamorizes mental illness.
No. Just no. None of the Moriarty brothers are mentally stable, Albert's ocd variant is genuinely terrifying but not because it makes him evil but rather because of how much it breaks the mind of a child when left untreated. William's depression has left him emotionally stunted and incapable of seeing any value in his existence, Louis clearly suffers from some kind of anxiety variant which leads to him constantly feeling like he is never enough for his brothers. Moran's PTSD is never mocked or misrepresented, Sherlock's canonically neurodivergent traits have not been erased even if he's been made slightly more personable (yes neurodivergent people can be personable, they're not all extreme loners).
At no point are you made to believe that Albert's desperate need to clean everything is quirky, or Liam's suicidal tendencies are cool and fun. That's just a really bad take of someone scraping the bottom of the barrel for something to hate on.
YuuMori glamorizes terrorism and martyrdom.
I mean...Moriarty is literally a villain protagonist? He's a literal terrorist?? Nobody (with two functioning braincells) that I've talked to about YuuMori has ever felt that we are supposed to like Moriarty's actions at any point. We are supposed to agree with his beliefs and feel for him but not agree with his method. We are supposed to root for Sherlock, his adversary, which we actually do. We aren't cheering on a terrorist, we are cheering on a good guy murdering absolute scum that hunt kids for fun and actively torture the weak. Remove the nationalistic aspect and people would be raving about how good Moriarty is. As for glamorizing martyrdom...again, nobody in the series is an actual martyr for their country. They are all willing to die for the people, Liam sees no worth in his existence outside of helping the weak finally find equality, Albert sees no value in his existence, Moran has lost all purpose and latches onto the ideals of a child because of how his mind was broken from his own people betraying his trust. Sherlock has no intentions of being a martyr. There's no glamorization of martyrdom at any point in the story. At no point does anyone say "I will die for my country" and is praised for it.
Last but not the least, just because you are queer, doesn't mean you aren't an asshole. If you're going to sit on your imaginary high horse and spout nonsense actively calling other queer people delusional fake fetishists because they like a headcanon/ship you don't you're kind of a jackass and probably need to rethink your argument entirely. If you think the majority of the fandom is delusional because they read the very blatant subtext in their own way instead of your own then you need to step away from your device and touch some grass. If you are going to sit there and actively negate the experiences of millions of queer people or people with psychological disorders because they like a ship or show or headcanon you hate then you can't really pull the "I'm queer too" card. And stop calling the fandom jokes attacks. If shippers of the pairing or headcanon call insanely aggressive antis who insist on using main tags to talk shit about the ship or headcanon and insistently tell LGBT folk we are dirty lustful people for being gay on several platforms, they are refering to those assholes. If you're not the one doing such things people aren't talking about you.
#yuukoku no moriarty#sherliam#trans james bond#rant?#I'm sick of fandom spaces being full of antis pretending to be oppressed when they clearly hate the series#like you've got no real reason to hang onto this show when you're clearly hate reading it in the first place#its like people learnt how to use big powerful words and just string them together to sound smart#when in reality half the stuff that comes out is a flaming heap of nonsense that doesn't even line up properly
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Was Napoleon a tyrant? I don't necessarily think he was: at least, I believe he was a better alternative to the absolute monarchs he was fighting. But there are those who disagree. What are your thoughts on the subject?
This is a can of worms to be sure.
I mean....how are we defining the word tyrant? All monarchs are tyrants to someone. Monarchy, by its very nature, is tyrannical in one way, shape, or form, no matter who is at its head. Even in the more neutered forms we see now days with the British. The Queen still exerts a ridiculous amount of power, all things considered.
Napoleon was no better or worse than any other monarch in Europe at that time. Indeed, better than some, worse than others. Because you know, he was human!
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This got VERY long. SO LONG. Choice excerpts from below the cut:
"'Power was encroaching with large strides behind the words order and stability,' as Thibaudeau put it."
"(And I suspect he was concerned about seeming too eager for power/setting up a monarchical system.
Fouche: You're about as subtle as a canon going off right next door.
Napoleon: Hush.)"
"Theeeeeen the little bastard (affectionate) became Emperor."
"Napoleon Vs. Jeff Bezos: fight! fight! fight! (I'm putting my money on Napoleon.)"
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tl;dr: a more or less benevolent emperor who had his faults and who was intimately aware, for better or worse, more than most monarchs, that the head is only tenuously attached to the body. (Skim to the bottom for my thoughts on the personal things i.e. how I interpret Napoleon's actions and brain)
But, more seriously, as with most absolute statements, I am opposed to calling him a tyrant because it is reductive and serves no purpose except to make broad sweeping political statements that I believe are far more about the person making the statement exemplifying their modern political, republican position (as in, actual republican-I-support-the-existence-of-republics not the gop) rather than expressing any sort of truth about the past. (wHaT iS tRuTh.)
For historical purposes, it can over-simplify the situation and lead to skewed interpretations of events because you're coming in with this word that has a lot of modern, 20th and 21st century baggage to it.
And, because these people are coming in with this big, bad word of tyrant as a label for Napoleon, it doesn't allow them to engage with the nuance and complexities of his reign.
Anyway.
Napoleon, as emperor, supported centralized power held in his own hands, with support from other governing bodies (senate, council of state etc.). However, Napoleon had a lot of influence in the structuring of these governing bodies and the subsequent appointments as a means to exert control over entities that would otherwise be able to act somewhat independent from him and impinge his power.
We see this consolidation of power beginning, obviously, under the consulate. 'Power was encroaching with large strides behind the words order and stability,' as Thibaudeau put it.
There was the whole theatre around the Tribunate offering to extend Napoleon's tenure as First Consul for another ten years as a means of thanks/showing gratitude for all he did for France (Fouche was like: fuck that, let's just make a statue of the guy). Napoleon played the part of Humble Servant of the Public and refused both statue and the ten year extension. (Very Julius Caesar: You all did see that on the Lupercal, I thrice presented him a kingly crown, which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition?)
In actuality, though, he was pissed because he wanted it extended for life.
This resulted in the Council of State deciding "independently" (i.e. Napoleon wasn't present but he sure as hell influenced that Council session) to hold a plebiscite in order to ask The People two key questions: 'Should Napoleon Bonaparte be consul for life?' and 'Should he have the right to designate his successor?'
Napoleon nixed the second question saying to Cambaceres, 'The testament of Louis XIV was not respected, so why should mine be? A dead man has nothing to say.' Which is to say, he knew people would vote for him to be Consul for life, but the prospect of him choosing a successor, a la the Roman Empire, and having that choice be without input from the people and respected upon his death? Less clear.
(And, I suspect he was concerned about seeming too eager for power/setting up a monarchical system.
Fouche: You're about as subtle as a canon going off right next door.
Napoleon: Hush.)
For the Plebiscite, there were around 3.56 million votes for Yes to the question of Napoleon as consul for life and only around 8,300 for No.
The turnout rate was 60% which is uhh...impressive! (To be fair, there was no real evidence of tampering with the vote. Unlike in subsequent Plebiscites, such as the results for Do We Make Him Emperor, which were absolutely doctored. But, considering the highest turnout ever seen in the French Revolution was around 30/35%, double that is certainly something.)
Lafayette was pissed with this. He kicked up a fuss in the Senate and wrote to Napoleon saying that his 'restorative dictatorship' had been well and fine for now but has Napoleon thought about restoring liberty? and that he was certain Napoleon, of all people, wouldn't want an 'arbitrary regime' to be installed!
Napoleon: Bold of you to assume that, Lafayette.
There were, at this time, some mumblings and grumblings about tyranny from the liberals and those still wanting to continue the experiment of the French Republic, to be sure. They increased as time went on and Napoleon's power continued to consolidate.
Theeeeeen the little bastard (affectionate) became Emperor.
Lafayette: WhAt Is tHiS??
Napoleon: Look into my face and tell me honestly that you are shocked.
--
His government, as Consul and as Emperor, was centralized and very top-down in how it operated. Little was done without Napoleon's input.
The seemingly democratic institutions that had propped him up into power were retained and Napoleon used them as a means to facilitate his rule. As noted earlier, Napoleon had a heavy hand in appointments and the processes in place to fill various offices. Nothing was really...independent of him and his influence.
Though, in terms of Image Building of Empire, Napoleon worked hard to try and maintain the façade of impartiality as emperor. That he was head of state, sure, but all state apparatuses operated independent of him.
(Why is Napoleon's hat so big? because it is full of lies supporting the imperial image making machine.)
That said, when it came to filling those offices, Napoleon focused on merit more than anything as he wanted his governing officials to be capable, hardworking and, above all else, loyal.
(A good quote from Napoleon in one of his more Eat the Rich moments of the consulate: 'One cannot treat wealth as a title of nobility. A rich man is often a layabout without merit. A rich merchant is often only so by virtue of the art of selling expensively or stealing.'
Napoleon Vs. Jeff Bezos: fight! fight! fight!
(I'm putting my money on Napoleon.) )
--
This is getting really long and I feel that I've not addressed anything in a useful manner, but am I going to stop? No.
--
Napoleon, himself, at least in 1803, did express some conflicted views about assuming an imperial title. To Roederer he said, 'So many great things have been achieved over the past three years under the title of consul. It should be kept.'
Cambaceres said to Napoleon that upon assuming an imperial title 'your position changes and places you at odds with yourself.' No longer are you merely a public servant, an upholder of the Republic's ideals. Now you are a man wearing a crown, trying to be the upholder of the Republic's ideals.
(nb: I feel that duality is something Napoleon never fully got a handle on. He would veer strongly into authoritarian monarch then have moments of Rousseau-ian Idealism.)
Napoleon was insistent that his rule be a parliamentary monarchy (keeping the governance framework implemented in the Constitution of Year VIII, if I am not mistaken. But don't quote me on that.) and that the French were not his subjects but his people.
So, the imperial government worked thus with the Legislative process divided between four bodies:
Council of State which would draw up legislative proposals,
Tribunate which could debate on legislation but not vote on it,
a legislative body which could vote on legislation but not discuss it, and
Senate which would consider whether the proposed legislation conformed to the Constitution.
The Senate and the Legislative body could, theoretically, curtail Napoleon’s freedom/power. However, considering the fact that he was involved in the appointment process of these offices, and the general rhythm of daily governance, how much power they were able to exert over him was limited.
(This is at his height! Of course, towards the end we see a shift in that. But that's largely tied up in his military defeats and the British banging the door knocker demanding to be let in. Also they brought with them some friends. You might have heard of them? Bourbons?)
The initial terms the Senate brought to Napoleon with their offer of accepting him as a hereditary monarch included, but weren't limited to:
liberty cannot be infringed
equality cannot be jeopardized
sovereignty of the people must be maintained
the laws of the nation are inviolable
all institutions were to be free from undue imperial influence (e.g. the press)
the nation should never be put into a position where it needs to behead the head of state. Again.
Napoleon was uh. Not best pleased with this and had a new version drafted up that included acknowledgement of the sovereignty of the people, but a lot of the other things (e.g. freedom of the press) were cut out.
Yet, Napoleon maintained certain parts of the French Revolution's values which were reflected more in the 1804 Code Napoleon and other legislative and legal pieces than in the initial terms of Senatorial acceptance of his imperial title.
Some of the things enshrined in the Code that were carry-over from the Revolution include, but aren't limited to, the abolition of feudalism, equality before the law, freedom of conscience (to practice their own religion), gave fixed title to those who had bought church and émigré lands during the 1790s, and the equality of taxation was maintained (tax those aristos and the church). Also, there was affirmation of the idea of careers being "open to talent" rather than an accident of birth (as touched on above).
The Freedom of Conscience clause in the Code was a further formalization of several Articles Napoleon amended onto the Concordat in 1802. The Articles guaranteed the principle of religious toleration and made the Protestant and Jewish churches similarly subject to state authority (alongside the Catholic).
These are just a brief summary of some of the more liberal/revolution-informed aspects of Napoleon's governing.
The non-liberal ones I believe we're all pretty familiar with: suppression of the free press, roll-back of rights for women (women are for babies!), reinstatement of slavery (which he later reversed circa 1810/12-ish), top-down Emperor-has-final-word approach to ruling (Napoleon was all about Authority From Above, Trust From Below) etc. etc.
At the end of this, I would say Napoleon's empire falls into that "benevolent monarch" situation. For a given value of "benevolent." As stated at the start, he was like most other monarchs in Europe at the time. Better than some, not as great about certain things as others.
--
Really, it all ties back to Order and Stability.
Napoleon's assent, and his approach to strong, centralized ruling, was a result of uncertainty and constant government change over ten years of revolution alongside the growing belief, by 1803, that a republic like the Romans or Greeks was not going to happen any time soon. Not without constant warfare and the forever looming threat of a Bourbon restoration.
In addition, Napoleon was doing imperial drag. (If that makes sense.) He was dialing the notch of Emperor up to 11 - being the most emperor of all emperors. So, state control was absolute because he couldn't show any signs of weakness - either in his own body, his familial body, or the body of state. The court protocols were intense and over-the-top at times because he had to prove he was not just a second son of a parvenu lawyer from the sticks. No! he was worthy of this pomp. He was worthy of imperial majesty. He was worthy of the crown and scepter.
Napoleon was not raised to be anything other than a military officer and a middle-class head of a family (would have been a MASTER at doing Sunday Dad Puttering About the House). When he dawned the mantel of power, particularly that of empire, he had to make it up as he went along. For such a self-conscious and proud man, this was difficult. He never wanted to misstep and be embarrassed - on a personal level, political or military.
At the same time, he was reared on Rousseau and Revolution so still had those values and ideals imbedded in him, and those fears and memories. Napoleon knew as well as any Frenchman that a monarch's head is easily removable should it become necessary. Therefore, he sometimes ran roughshod over the liberty to ensure security. For better or worse, that was the choice he made.
--
Napoleon was a flawed leader with a complex approach to governing that was focused on a centralization of power within him while, at the same time, trying to be the Successor of the Revolution, the Roman Republic and the Roman Empire. Layers! Like an onion.
His approach as emperor really was within the realm of normal-for-the-times when compared to most other monarchs on the European stage in 1800. He also granted liberties to his people that were unheard of in other countries.
I feel like all my Napoleonic ramblings end with the same message: Dude was nuanced. Dude was complex. Dude did good things and bad things. Dude helped people and hurt people. Dude contained multitudes. Because he was simply human, at the end of the day.
--
ANNNNNNND we are done.
Gods bless all y'all who made it this far.
Have my favourite picture of Napoleon at Tuileries as a prize.
hmm that beautiful heavy, handed symbolism.
#napoleon#napoleon bonaparte#ask#reply#napoleonic#history#19th century#imperial myth making#napoleonic identity
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Hi! I’m really sorry, I know it’s not your job to educate me, but there’s something I’ve always wanted to know and google isn’t exactly giving me a definite answer, so I thought I’d ask someone who’s living it firsthand. What does nonbinary lesbian mean? I mean, obviously I know what being nonbinary is, but what exactly determines if someone is a nonbinary lesbian or a nonbinary gay or a nonbinary straight. I definitely have a long way to go in terms of educating myself about gender but I��m not really sure where to really start
this has sat in my inbox for 3 weeks because I needed energy to answer it, but I'm finally here. Notes: 1) This is my answer for how I personally use nonbinary lesbian and not an attempt to say "this is exactly what all nb lesbians are". 2) I use "nb" for nonbinary rather than "enby" because enby feels infantilizing to me (maybe because it's more cutesy, idk) so I don't like to use it for myself. 3) Trans/cis are modifiers added onto genders and when I refer to a gender, I am referring to the people with that gender regardless of if they are cis or not. 4) This is using western standards of gender and not necessarily inclusive of all gender identities, especially those from other cultures. 5) I'm mostly going to be talking about gay/lesbian when it comes to sexuality because that's what the question is about and this is already long. 6) I know you said you know what nb is, but I still have to establish the scale first.
You'll often hear gender referred to as a gradient in the lgbtq community, with man on one end and woman on the other. Because it is more descriptive, I prefer to use a quadrant gradient scale (pictured above) with the corners representing man (upper left), multi and other genders (upper right), no gender/agender (lower left), and woman (lower right). A person's gender is a point somewhere in the square, while genderfluidity roams around it. Everything but the labeled opposite corners for man and woman is a nonbinary gender. This is how I personally think of & feel gender, but for the sake of simplicity, let's use the single line scale for this post, just because its easier to refer to and boils down to pretty much the same thing when it comes to attraction.
The line gradient gender scale: Man----A----Woman.
A nonbinary lesbian usually has their gender fall on the right half of this gradient (the pink zone, edging into purple) and is attracted to other people whose gender is on the right side. Flip that for an nb gay, with their gender and attraction both falling in the left half/blue zone.
Sexualities don’t (or shouldn’t) exclude nonbinary people who are within their corresponding sides of the scale and the narrative otherwise was invented and pushed by transphobes trying to exclude a portion of the trans community (some nb people consider themselves trans, others don't, though technically all nonbinary genders fall under the trans umbrella. What you use to refer to yourself is about what makes you personally comfortable and no option is the "right" answer).
The closer to the middle of the scale your gender is, the harder it can be to identify your sexuality since they are often defined by your gender. In this case, you may define your own sexuality based on the gender you feel closest to, or based on your assigned sex (especially if you realized your sexuality before your gender and thus found a community with others who identify based on it). It's also quicker to say "I'm an nb lesbian" than something like "I'm agender but I'm exclusively attracted to women and based on my biology and/or gender presentation, women who are attracted to other women are the most likely to reciprocate my advances and have shared life experiences with me".
personal stuff beneath the cut.
lesbians often have a complicated relationship with gender. there's a reason the femme-butch scale exists. for me, I am nonbinary because I only partially identify with "woman" and am transmasculine. my presentation is fluid, going from femme to masc or butch depending on the day. I have tried a variety of gender labels before settling on the ambiguous “nonbinary” (at least for now). I'm exclusively attracted to women, so that makes me a lesbian.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: my gender is lesbian. it's sapphic love and the rejection of the binary in the pursuit of happiness. it's rejecting the role of womanhood and choosing to instead perform aspects of gender - femininity and masculinity - outside of the binary, embodying those concepts and not their associated genders of woman and man.
#ask#anon#would prefer if you didn't reblog because personal stuff and again im not saying this is true for Every Single Person#but if you wanna use the quadrant gradient feel free#i feel like ive definitely seen it elsewhere but i couldn't find it so i just made one lol#you can sum up sexuality using a similar quadrant with the corners as men - everyone (bi/pan) - no one (agender) - women#and then combine that with your own gender to determine your sexuality if it isn't solidly in the everyone or no one corner#i like square gradients theyre helpful for capturing the diversity of identities
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Been a while, so I thought I'd rant a bit about where I stand on things today. I never really find a gender or sexuality label that isn't ideologically charged in some manner, but like... I may be rather gender critical, but this is not the (main) reason for why I ultimately choose to label myself with female terms despite my dysphoria and transition. I quite literally feel like I'm a woman and bio female, that's just kinda how I relate to myself. But I still struggle with it as well.
For the most part, I don't really label myself much. I'm happy with my transition and relate to it as a form of extreme gender non-conformity, as it's doing the opposite of what I get told I "should" be doing as a woman. My identity as a woman is a private, not public, identity, however. Publically I'm just whatever you perceive me to be, unless we're getting intimate or you're my doctor. This is mostly to protect myself from misogyny, and any other kinds of unwanted attention.
I still feel a lot like I'm a male impersonator, a woman who lives as a man, a pseudo-transsexual, tomboy, etc. And a lot of this has to do with that over my years of analyzing my dysphoria, I've found that most if not all of it can be explained with social factors and mere personal preference.
So, I'll either call myself a pseudo-transsexual and not quite a "real" trans person due to knowing my dysphoria is not innate, or I'm gonna have to say that dysphoria in and of itself is not innate or biological. So please think long and hard before telling me I'm just a self-hating trans man. I could say that I am one, with a long list of controversial caveats, which would inadvertently call all transmen "women with issues", but do we really want that? I give a better name to transmen by not claiming to be one myself. But I still consider my issues with my sex to be a type of sex dysphoria best treated with transition.
As for nonbinary, I'd be open to consider myself a duosex nb with a need to have a mix of male and female sex characteristics, but I'm not comfortable with foregoing sex-based labels for myself and I don't like being referred to gender neutrally. It feels dehumanizing. I'm also wildly uncomfortable with presenting in an androgynous fashion. But if you just see me as nonbinary without needing for me to change to fit the neutrality stereotypes of that label... sure, I don't really care. I'm certainly of some kinda ambiguity. Just not the trendy type.
As for my sexuality, I've figured I'm only into men (bio males) when I just stop overthinking and micromanaging it. I want dick. It's that fucking simple. Then if he's masc or fem, has big muscles and a beard or tits and curves, I don't really care. Anything can be hot on a man, if he's hot as a person. So yeah I can be into transwomen on rare occasion, but they kinda have to be at least a little clocky (as in I can see that they were born male) and non-op for me to be into that. But I still have a preference for males who are not trans, whether gender conforming or total femboys or anything in between.
For this, I consider myself straight, as they are the opposite sex to me, and have the opposite genitals. But most open I don't really label my sexuality. Because I pass as male, it would be awfully confusing if I went around calling myself straight without an explanation. So then it's easier to just omit the label and just go with the explanation right away.
However, my straightness does not mean I enjoy following heteronormative standards. Fuck that shit. Fuck all of that shit! I want gender equality in my relationships, I show chivalry to men I'm into, I like being both submissive and dominant, I love reversing gender roles, and just fucking with gender roles in general. Which is also a big reason I have such an affinity for gnc men. I find beauty in femininity and I'm not against it per se. I'm just not comfortable with being feminine myself.
That being said, I hate laning and have a fuck ton of experience with believing I was non-het for well over a decade and dating the same sex during that time, facing homophobia, etc, I will still insert my opinions on LGB issues that I gathered from my such experiences and talking to many actually gay/lesbian/bisexual people.
If you have a problem with my opinions on LGB stuff, address that then. Leave my heterosexuality out of it. This modern climate has a serious issue with judging people based on their labels instead of based on what they do/say. For whatever it's worth, I'm in support of same sex attraction and gay rights, I base sexuality on bio sex, and I don't judge same-sex attracted people for how they form their such relationships. I feel like I can mostly understand why they do x, y and z.
So I might on occasion be that random, weirdo hetty who comes in to defend lesbians enjoying penetration, butch/femme couples, dysphoria in homosexuals, gay men who don't wanna date transmen, bisexual men in gay male spaces, the struggles gay couples have in becoming parents, etc. I do that because I care, as an ally, and because their autonomy automatically translates to everyone's autonomy, including my own and all the other hetties, and because I think I genuinely have a deeper understanding of many LGB topics than most hetties do. My experiences are not average by far.
Likewise, I may occasionally chime in on men's issues, for basically the same reasons. I cross-lane on trans spaces and women's spaces, because of my transition/dysphoria and female sex and identity. I genuinely think I belong in both categories regardless of if I'm "actually a woman" or "actually trans." That level of micromanaging people's labels is just tedious.
Also, I hate how intersex people get used as pawns for trans rights. Intersex is not comparable to trans and does not prove you can change sex.
I care about both men's and women's rights, as well as trans and LGB rights. My core values are autonomy and freedom of expression, which in practice means I care a lot about everyone's freedom to do what they wish with their own bodies, whether I personally agree with their individual desires or not.
This means pro abortion and pro women choosing to be pregnant, pro female only spaces and mixed sex "women's" spaces, pro gay spaces without trans peoole of the opposite sex as well as less rigid gay spaces, pro sex based sexuality and pro people identifying however they want, pro detransition and pro transition, and so on. Then how exactly to apply all that in reality... I dunno. Good I'm not a politician then!
I see both bio sex and gender dysphoria as immutable traits, which is what makes it tricky consider both camps equally. But damned if I do, damned if I don't, I refuse to pick a side. My female rights matter as much as my trans rights do.
Having a right to treat my dysphoria with what actually works, transition, matters a lot to me. But it shouldn't override men's and women's right to congregate based on sex. Nor should it be applicable to children. I do not want to see a world where dysphoric, transitioning people get pushed to the corners of society because people are uncomfortable with us, with for ex either a transwoman or a bearded transman in a public female space.
How I see trans people kinda depends on what they look like, tbh. If you look like a man, I will see you as one, if you look like a woman I will see you as one. I try my best to make exceptions for non-passing trans people and very gnc/detrans people who aren't trans. I won't neccesarily validate you, but I also kinda don't wanna be an arse on purpose just because we may have different priorities in regards to sex and gender. I'm okay with they/them pronouns but I'm not gonna amuse your neo or xeno pronouns.
I generally think you need to have some kinda dysphoria and/or transition to be trans. Yes, if you transition without dysphoria and it genuinely made you more comfortable, you are trans in my eyes. I'm not against people having obscure gender labels, but I won't truly see you as a demigirl treegender maveric agenderflux spaceship, because I don't even know what to even imagine in my head with that. But I respect your right to see yourself as that.
I'm not against trans people (or anyone) having fetishes, as long as it's between consenting adults, but please keep it in your pants... unless I'm into it, then I'm not gonna complain. If you're hot, I will unabashedly love your girldick. Just please don't pester the lesbians with it. They won't appreciate it like I do.
I have certain critiques against kink, but I'm not against kink per se. It really depends on what is going on and who's involved.
I'm not fully pro either transmed, gender theory, conservatives or radfem/gender criticals. I have something to agree and disagree with all of those. I swear no alliance to any ideology. I'm a fence-sitter and always harp on nuance. That annoys some people, I've noticed.
I'm still careful with getting into discourse about racism and adjacent topics, but since learning more about it lately, I've relaxed a bit on that. The white guilt is still strong in this one though. I reccon I still have a lot of bias to work through, but absolutely no ill intent, even when I say something sketchy.
I'm still interested in having these kinda discussions in general, with people on all sides, but I'm mostly here to reblog cat pics, cool looking art and to fangirl over hot/beautiful men. If you're also a writer and wanna chat about that, or anything else that's not "gender discourse" that's totally welcomed as well!
I'm not here very often anymore though. I'm more focused on writing/editing my fiction novel, socializing irl at a daily activity center, and otherwise... touching grass, you know. Because I easily end up obsessing about gender and sexuality until I get lost in my own navel, which isn't good. I feel better when I just go out there and live my life, and stop thinking about all that "what am I?" bullshit. So that's what I'm trying to focus on.
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hii, i did send an ask before but i think i hit the limit to it didn't send?? i'd like to say that i love how inclusive & welcoming your blog is!! so i have ID'd as bi-demiromantic ace (cis girl) for around 6 months but lately i've been doing more research and i think i'm aroace and nb (she/they). but i have some internal aromantic-phobia. idm if others are aro but.. idk haha. also idk if i'm really nb or it's a "not like other girls phase" hitting the limit so ending this rn!
Hi!
Yeah, I don’t think I got your ask before this!
Ahhh thank you :D I try my best to be inclusive and create a welcoming community :)
Ahhhh my dude I’m so fucking proud of you, that’s awesome!! Aroaces are so cool, and being nonbinary is awesome!!
Ohh god I’m sorry you gotta go through that, internalised shit can suck 🫂
Tbh my advice is to find your community!! Follow aro blogs and make aro friends and join aro discord servers, read stories about aro characters and make aro characters and write aro stories and find your community and you’ll start to feel better!!!
My advice for the not like other girls thing is to try seeing why you feel like you’re not a girl. Is it because you think girls are below human and you feel human, or is it because you’re not a girl? Try finding the reason why.
Also, there is absolutely no harm in trying out the nonbinary label for a bit! If you wanna try it out, go for it my friend!! Just go about your day and live your life and in the back of your head try saying “Im nonbinary,” and see how it feels!!
If you like the label, that’s cool!! If you realise you’re actually cis, that’s cool too!! There’s no harm in seeing how the label feels.
Here’s a post on gender dysphoria you might wanna read, see if you relate to anything on there! Here’s some questioning advice:
Remember, only way of being trans is being yourself!
Don’t force yourself into labels that don’t fit. You’re not supposed to fit labels, labels are supposed to fit you
There’s nothing wrong with not having a label or using only umbrella labels!
Feel free to experiment with labels! Live your life for one day and say “I am [gender],” try it out for a day or so and see how it feels!
Labels are like sweaters, you can try them on for a bit and see which one is comfiest!
“What makes me happy?” and “what makes me feel truest to myself?” are better questions than “what gender am I?”
The goal of gender questioning isn’t to find a label, it’s to make yourself happy—whether having a ton of microlabels, a few umbrella labels or just going unlabelled!
Happiness is always first priority—happiness first, labels second.
It’s okay to have “contradictory” labels as long as you aren’t hurting anyone
And last of all, take your time. You don’t have to find a label tomorrow or today. It’s okay. Don’t rush, take a deep breath. Maybe you’ll find labels, maybe you won’t! And that’s okay! Live your life and be happy, that’s all that matters
Feel free to look through my #gender questioning tag if you want to!
Honestly my advice is just forget everything, names and labels and pronouns and presentation, and ask yourself one thing: what makes you happy?
Obsessing over gender and asking yourself “what gender am I?” is never useful, try asking yourself instead “what makes me happy?” and “what makes me feel truest to myself?”
Does being nonbinary make you happy? Be nonbinary!! Does using she/they make you happy?? Use she/they!!
Make sure to prioritise your happiness!! Happiness first, labels second. Literally my dude just be happy and be yourself and everything will fall into place.
And remember, the entire queer community is here for you, okay? It might seem lonely at times but there is a whole community of people that will love you and accept you for who you are and support you no matter what. We love you and it’s going to be okay.
I hope I could help you out, and I wish you luck with your gender journey :D Lmk if you have any more questions, and have a great day/night :DD
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For the ask game: all of them! I’d love to hear about your system! -AetherAmalgam
Well okay I mean if you insist XD (long post incoming) (I also cut some questions I didn’t really wanna answer loool)
If you had a dollar for every member of your system, what could you buy? ....last count waaaas..23 (although our gatekeeper is being sus whenever I say that) so 23 $ maybe a nice meal? or a movie and snackies?
Have you ever accidentally laughed out loud in public because of something your alters did in the innerworld? YES OMG several times, the biggest one was I was just hanging out playing the games and Kalo just out of nowhere yells “How am I supposed to Live Laugh Love under these conditions!??!” And I just died laughing XD
What's one thing that everyone in the system hates? Avocados, we all hate avocados for some reason
What's the weirdest thing about your innerworld, if you have one? There are different “planes of existence” there so some of us can’t access each other even though they’re technically layered over the same place, if that makes sense?
Do you have a partner system? Do you want one? No, I’d love to have a platonic partner system though I think that’d be really cool.
What's the weirdest thing you've came into the front to find? A whole tub of ice cream left in our bed 😞
What is co-fronting like for you? Do you co-front with your alters frequently? With the frequent fronter we're pretty often co-con but not co-fronting. Co-fronting happens rarely and when it does it feels awful.
You're stuck on a deserted island with all of your alters: Who would be the first one to find a way to escape? Kalo 100%
Who's the resident cottagecore alter? Vanessa 100% has all the maternal instincts and the green thumb.
What's the one song that everyone in the system likes? “My friends are kinda strange” by Left for London
Have you ever eaten your alter's food that they saved for later? We're currently saving Fizz's bang but I personally don't like them so it's not very hard for me to save it.
How often do you switch? Do you wish that you switched more or less? It really depends, sometimes it's every 30 min or so to upwards of being front stuck for months on end. Generally if I had to say and average is every day at least once
What's that one song that you can't listen to without another alter poking their head into the front? Any song from our middle school years just cause I don’t have emotional attachment to them but some alters do.
Which alter would you trust to file your taxes? Which alter would you never let near your taxes in a million years? Any of the littles under 7 and also Kalo because he would keep the tax returns for himself XD
Spill the tea: What's the latest in-system drama? Uh Ashe hates boys and we’re engaged to one so that’s our biggest conflict rn
Do your alters have different fashion senses? Who has the best fashion sense? They do! I can kidna appreciate all of them, obviously I think mine's the best but they def have a good sense of style it's just not my thing haha.
Do you have a discord server for your system to communicate in? We do! it's completely private to us tho
Which alter takes the longest showers? Well we actually have major problems in it so usually we only have one or two alters that CAN shower soooo
All of your Halloween candy mysteriously went missing - Which alter is most likely to blame? bunny, or me XD
Do you have any stuffed animals? Do they belong to the whole system, or individual alters? The whole system, but most of the alters that get attached usually get to specifically one or two we label as "theirs"
Do different alters style the body's hair different ways? Yeah usually the guys/ our nb alter will style the hair up and wear a hat or something
Tell me a random fun fact about your system! We might be polyfrag! Not sure! I hate it here! Uh also we have a pretty balance system with introjects and non-introjects? (These asks were from “System asks” not the most recent one :)
#meet the system#meet mosaic system#did system asks#mosaic system asks#actuallydid#did#actually multiple#did system#d i d#actuallymultiple#actually traumagenic#actuallytraumatized#actually did#dissociative identity disorder
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Reasons why I don’t like Zayn: him and Gigi participated in a vogue cover where they talked about sharing clothes and it was labeled as gender fluid. It never came out of their mouths but I am pretty sure they knew that was going to be said about them and were okay with it. He said the N word in a video, and before anyone says you can’t really hear it, his team completely deleted the video from everywhere and it’s something only 1D fans remember, thankfully someone posted it on Twitter recently. He said he likes women who are “chunky on the nice areas” or something along those lines. He said he likes intelligent women and not women who talk about make up all the time, as if you can’t do both. The way he acted during the whole 1D break up was kind of trashy. Every Twitter fight he’s ever had. The way he complained about the Grammy’s, like yes they are trash but I don’t think he would’ve if he was nominated. Louis said that when his mum died and he performed at X factor every member of 1D said they were going to be there for him and Zayn didn’t show up. He was also kind of an asshole to Louis when he became friends with Naughty Boy and then went on to call NB a “fat joke”. The fact that he continuously cheated on Perrie (Courtney Webb even shared pictures and people try to deny it??) and then broke their engagement over the phone (I think it was over text). And I think I’m still forgetting things. He’s really problematic but every time you bring up any of these things his fans call you islamophobic. Yes, a lot of disgusting people have been islamophobic towards him and it’s horrible but we can still call him out when he does something wrong. Which he has, multiple times
Yeah I’m not a fan at all but I acknowledge that he’s like… an Adonis. Like idk he’s one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen and he and Gigi together are stupid hot. My most aesthetic pairing tbh would be Zayn x ATJ tho like that’d be beaaaaautiful.
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Hi idk how to ask this. I’m afab and used to id as gender neutral but then realized I’m more in the masc aspect, i found about the label demiboy and thought that was me but currently I’m questioning whether I’m a demiguy or just a trans boy in negation bc i like fem stuff and also I’m very gay (currently i have a crush on a guy) so sometimes i think is bc “I don’t feel man enough” aka internalized homophobia and transphobia. But then I’m ok with he/they (i know pronouns =/= gender) and if someone sees me as gender neutral I don’t mind . So in short... I’m not sure anymore if I’m a demiguy or a trans man. Idk if someone has lived a similar thing? Idk what to do i feel I’m taking the nb id as “safe term” or unconsciously self defense mechanism to don’t feel too bad when i got misgender bc currently i can’t transition the way i want and I’m in my late twenties ..also when i try to explain my gender people usually ask if I’m a trans man and i say yes bc it doesn’t feel wrong but same goes when they ask if I’m non binary. I only get uncomfy if people think I’m a girl bc I’m not
Hi, friend! There are people who identify as nonbinary trans guys! You can be both at once, if it feels like it fits you. All nonbinary people are allowed to use the trans label, after all. If you want a way to try and figure out if that’s really you or not, try this. Instead of asking yourself “what makes me uncomfortable” or “what am I ok with”, instead ask “what makes me happy”
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let’s talk about lesbophobia in fandom
i don’t like to use the word “lesbophobia” unironically because of all the gross radfem terfy connotations, so i will clarify right off the bat that i am neither a terf nor an aphobe and that if you are i want you off my blog like, right now. unfortunately, the meaning of lesbophobia has been so warped by alt right lesbians that seeing it in an unironic context makes me, a lesbian, uncomfortable, which speaks volumes in itself. so to clarify, lesbophobia is essentially homophobia with a pinch of sexism thrown into the mix, and it’s running rampant in supposed safe spaces and, more relevantly, fandom.
/i’d also like to clarify that i’m not only speaking on lesbophobia, but also the general disgust and disdain for all wlw in fandom, and am using it as a sort of umbrella term/
lesbophobia and disdain for wlw has been around forever, but whilst gay positivity, mlm and mlm ships have been steadily increasing in popularity within fandom over time, wlw and wlw ships have remained perpetual underdogs. why? because lesbophobia has become a fandom within itself. both in and outside of fandom, we see instances of casual lesbophobia every single day—from aggression towards wlw to something as simple and prevalent as the complete and utter lack of sapphic ships and characters in media. hatred of lesbians and wlw is practically a trend, and it’s seeping in through the cracks of fandoms who are already facing issues with minorities and marginalized groups (i.e. racism, ableism). if you honestly think that lesbophobia isn’t prevalent as hell in fandom right now, you’re either not a wlw, you’re not all that involved in fandom, or you’re dumb as shit.
just look at ships. in almost every single fandom, the ratio of mlm ships to sapphic ships is ridiculously unbalanced. people are quick to ship male characters who so much as smile at each other (and i don’t condemn that) but would never do the same for two women—even on the rare occasion that the ship is actually canon. i once wrote a wlw fanfic for a [predominantly straight] fandom, and received messages like this gem:
on the flip side of that, if there is a sapphic ship in canon or fanon, it is often fetishized and sexualised to a disturbing degree. there will be double the amount of nsfw art and fics, and ninety percent of it will be derogatory and fetishized as hell. having been actively involved in several fandoms over the past few years (and currently a content creator in one), i’ve seen instances of all this hundreds of times. people go crazy for mlm ships, but the second you say you ship/prefer a wlw ship, there’s always someone at the ready with, “i think all ships are great!” or “it’s not a contest” or “i prefer [insert m/m or m/f ship] actually” or “they’re my brotp!/why can’t you just let them be friends?”. not only do lesbians and wlw not get to have any rep in media, any rep that they try to create for themselves in fandom just gets attacked or ruined. this is so detrimental not only to all wlw, but especially to younger wlw who will end up being indoctrinated into this belief that their sexuality is something dirty, something that can never be tender and sweet but rather something that deserves to be preyed upon.
building on that, let’s talk about engagement. i run an instagram account (where i have a significantly bigger following) as well as this blog for my fandom, where i post the content i create (mainly text posts). when i first started creating content, i made a lot for a relatively unpopular wlw ship, in which both girls are canonically romantically involved with a dude—though one of them is canonically pan. their canonical m/f ships are both very popular, and i noticed that my engagement was dropping every time i posted them, so i eventually just stopped. it wasn’t even a conscious decision; i merely resigned myself to the fact that the fandom didn’t want to see sapphic ships, and some people would even go as far as to condemn them. for reference, my instagram posts get an average of about 500 likes per post (popular ones usually exceeding 1k), but when i post this ship, my engagement drops to about 250 likes. similarly, my tumblr text posts have an average of about 140 notes per post (popular ones usually reaching up to 750), but my wlw content rarely surpasses 100. this just feeds the cycle of wlw never getting rep: if, like me, content creators become disincentivised by the lack of engagement with their sapphic content, they’re more likely to stop making/posting it, leading to further lack of rep—and when new content creators try to rectify that, they face the same problems.
and then, of course, there’s the treatment of actual wlw in fandom. my best example of this is when my friend and i made an anti account on instagram (the first instagram anti account in that fandom), our bio saying something like “salty and bitter lesbians being salty and bitter”, and received an onslaught of lesbophobic insults and threats from angry stans within hours. (tw: r*pe) one commenter even went as far as to tell us that they wanted us to get r*ped. as well as this, i’ve seen so many instances of people using slurs against lesbians in arguments/in anons, often for no apparent reason other than they feel that they have the right. when i first mentioned i was a lesbian on instagram, my account only had about 200 followers, and within a day i lost 20. i also lose followers whenever i post f/f ships, not quite to that extent but enough for it to be noticeable, on top of the aforementioned engagement dips. in the face of all this adversity, i think a lot of wlw turn to mlm ships because they’re the closest thing we have to actual rep, but when we do we get accused of fetishizing them by the same people who fetishize us. there’s an endless list of double standards that non-wlw have been upholding for years, and i can firmly say that i’m really fucking sick of it. because of our sexuality, we will never be allowed to enjoy something without someone labelling it or us as dirty or otherwise problematic, when to them, the only problematic thing about us is that we aren’t pleasing men.
as i mentioned before, the lack of rep for wlw in media is appallingly consistent, and part of that stems from tokenism. in a lot of modern mainstream media, you’ll have one, maybe two lgbt characters, and nine times out of ten those characters are white cis male gays. of course, there are exceptions to this, but generally, that’s it. script writers and authors (especially cishets) seem to have this mentality of, “oh, well, we gave them one, that’s sure to be enough!”, which means that on the off chance you do get your gay rep, the likelihood of also receiving wlw or any other kind of rep becomes practically non-existant. this belief that all marginalized groups are the same and that one represents all is what leads to misrepresentation on top of lack of rep, which is what makes tokenism so dangerous. if you treat your only gay character badly, you are essentially treating every single gay person badly in that universe. so not only is lesbophobia and disdain for wlw harmful to sapphic women via their exclusion in media, it’s also harming those minorities who do get rep. when people try to defend lesbophobic source material, that’s when fandom starts to get toxic. the need for critical thinking has never been more apparent and it has also never been less appeased—and wlw are getting hit hard by it, as always.
finally, a pretty big driving factor of lesbophobia is, ironically, lesbians. my lesbian friends and i often joke that though everyone seems to hate us, no one hates lesbians more than lesbians do. though i’d say it’s most prevalent on tumblr, i see traces of it all over the internet. the growth of alt right lesbian movements is not only reinforcing hatred for lesbians, but also reinforcing hatred for bi and pan women. here you have these terrible lesbians using their platforms to express their disgust for bi/pan women, for aces and aros, for trans women/nb lesbians, and people see them and say, “gosh, lesbians are just awful.” and just like that, all of us are evil. occasionally, lesbian blogs that i follow get put on terf blocklists for no other reason than the fact that they have “lesbian” in their bio. and the lesbians that actually deserve to be on those blocklists? they’re too busy spewing misinformation about trans women and bi women to care, boosted up by their alt right friends in an ever-expanding movement. i’ve found that this heavily influences fandom on tumblr, lesbians often getting branded as “biphobic” when they hc a female character as a lesbian rather than bi or pan. this criticism of both lesbians and wlw by lesbians and non-wlw alike only ever allows lesbophobia to grow, both in and out of fandom. that said, lesbians aren’t to blame for their own discrimination; rather, many of us have been conditioned into subconsciously endorsing it after spending our entire lives hearing heterosexual platitudes about lesbians and sapphic relationships. homophobic cishets are and always have been the nexus of this oppression—the only difference is that now they can hide behind alt right lesbians.
one thing has been made apparent to me throughout my time in fandom, and that thing is that no one likes to see men “underrepresented”. people hate sapphic ships and lesbians so much because there is no room for men, and men Do Not Like That. so, like the worms that they are, they slither their way in, be it through fetishization or condemnation of wlw characters and ships, and they ruin whatever good things we have going for us. the thing about worms, though, is that they’re easy enough to crush if you’re wearing the right shoes.
so to all my bi/pan gals and lesbian pals: put on your doc martens, because we’ve got ourselves some lesbophobes to stomp on.
#everyone say thank you hanna (@pinkseraphblades) for deciphering my rambling notes and helping me out with this#also want to say that my nb lesbians are not excluded from this!! i know i use the term 'wlw' a lot but i'd say it still applies to y'all#i could talk about this for days lmaoo#please rb#discourse#fandom discourse#lesbian discourse#wlw#lesbian#bisexual#yes grishaverse fandom i'm talking about you#grishaverse#soc#six of crows#tgt#the grisha trilogy#shadow and bone#and of course i was talking about my anti sjm account so#anti sjm#anti sarah j maas#anti acotar#cauldron rambles#didn't mean to take such an anti-worm stance i'm sorry worms#no worms were harmed in the making of this post#lesbophobes on the other hand...#important#ninej#lesbophobia
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I'm afab, nb, and bi. I'm in a very happy relationship with a cishet man who has always been completely fine with me being bi, but me being nb disturbed him a little, because I only told him some 6 months after we got together. By now he's accepted that I'm nb and is supportive, but can't wrap his head around what that makes him - if he's straight, how can he be attracted to me, a nb person? The thing is that, being bi, I can't wrap my head around this issue because for me gender has never played a role in my attraction to someone. Do you have any advice that might help him? Thanks so much.
lol I also often struggle to understand how people can be monosexual. Blows my mind. Anyway... I’m cis, so my perspective is kinda limited in terms of how deeply I can relate to your situation. But from what I know about non-binary people who are dating binary people it’s a very individual thing whether you (as the non-binary person) are okay with your partner identifying as monosexual (gay/lesbian or straight) or not. Some are cool with it and others aren’t, afaik.
And that, I think, is one important aspect here. If he identifies as straight - is that okay for you? Or does it feel like he misgenders you? That’s a question you can only answer for yourself and whatever result you come to, it’s something you should communicate to your partner. Let’s say it doesn’t bother you at all - well then I guess the problem is solved because he doesn’t have to change anything about his labels for your comfort. But if it doesn’t sit right with you and it does feel like you’re being misgendered then it’s something you and he should try to navigate with more nuance.
If he was the one messaging us about this I would explain the following: bisexuality means attraction to more than one gender. Those genders do not have to include any or both binary genders, which means someone who is attracted to women and any number of non-binary genders can call themselves bisexual because nb genders are just as valid and “complete” in being A Gender™ as the genders man and woman. He does not have to be attracted to men in order to identify as bisexual (or heteroflexible or queer, to name some alternatives). And he, as the partner of a non-binary person, might just have to learn to accept the fact that he is not monosexual and that he has the ability to be attracted to someone who is not a woman. But in order for that to really sink in, it’s important that he fully accepts and sees you as non-binary, not as “woman light”.
I am definitely compassionate with him in the sense that this is like a ~surprise! you’re not heterosexual!~ situation that is suddenly thrown at him out of left field. It’s not a process that started organically from within himself where he realised “hey, maybe I’m interested in multiple genders, let’s explore this at my own pace” but instead his partner went “btw I’m not a woman” and now he’s probably very confused what that means for him. And it is possible that if you had never told him you are nb he may have gone his whole life never questioning his sexuality and always identifying as straight. I can’t even begin to imagine how strange that must feel for him right now.
Which is, again, why I think it’s important you both have conversations about this. Plural! this isn’t one 30 minute session and then everything is said and done. It’s probably gonna take a lot of repetition and self-reflection and going back to old topics from months ago and checking back in with each other. And it’s important that there’s nuance, patience and understanding on both sides. You shouldn’t be expected to just swallow a feeling of being misgendered (if that’s what you’re feeling) and he shouldn’t be expected to just change his sexuality label over night like it’s no big deal - because the way he’s stumbled into this situation probably does feel like a very big and unexpected deal to him. This is totally not to put any blame on you - you had your reasons for coming out to him later. I get it, it’s not your fault at all. But from his pov... he literally didn’t sign up for a sexual identity crisis so I feel like one’s gotta cut him a liiiittle slack and give him space to digest and decide if he does wanna sign up for it retroactively, you know?
I would recommend that you try to conntect with people who have made similar experiences where one partner identified as monosexual and the other partner came out as a different gender (be it non-binary or the other binary gender). Some relationships break apart because of this, others grow even stronger. Either way, I’m sure that there are some people out there who can help with some first-hand experience.
Maddie
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