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pesterloglog · 5 months

Text

Jane Crocker, Jake English, Roxy Lalonde, Fefetasprite

Act 6, page 5521-5540

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

GT: Greetings!

GG: Oh. Hello, Jake.

GT: Im not interrupting anything am i?

GG: Um, not really? Roxy and I are just setting a few things up here.

GT: Ah i see. I would be happy to message you again later if it would spare you any inconvenience.

GG: No, it's fine! It's really nice to hear from you, actually.

GG: I was starting to worry you might have forgotten.

GT: Uh.

GT: Forgotten?

GG: Oh no...

GT: Forgotten what now?

GG: Never mind.

GT: Wait dont tell me.

GT: Is it a tomb or a crypt or somesuch? Are you preparing for another grist seeking expedition??

GT: Oh shit did you schedule my assistance for the raid and i forgot all about it???

GG: No, Jake.

GG: We didn't need your help raiding a tomb. But thanks for thinking of us.

GG: I don't know what this clueless pair of damsels would do without you.

GT: Blast.

GT: Well what in the name of willy howard tafts great tub choking bottom could i be forgetting then?

GT: This is going to drive me CRAZY! Can you give me a hint?

GG: Yes. It has to do with the day I was born, which was almost exactly sixteen years ago.

GT: Of course! Your birthday!!!

GG: Didn't you get Roxy's invitation?

GG: It was my understanding that she gave you and Dirk notice weeks ago.

GT: Yes thats right. Now i remember. The date sure snuck up on us quick didnt it?

GT: Sorry you know how things can slip my mind. The gourd on my shoulders isnt the steel trap it used to be. Nothing like the well oiled puzzlebuster you've got up there.

GG: Mm.

GT: Well damn.

GT: Looks like the egg monster took quite the spirited dump on my face this time.

GG: Jake. I... what?

GT: I feel so dumb. Ill be right over.

GG: Well, if you recall, the party is actually tomorrow.

GG: Like I said, we're just setting a few things up.

GG: Roxy is putting up some decorations. I baked a cake. You were of course free to join us early too. I just thought since I hadn't heard from you in quite some time, you had better things to do.

GT: You baked a cake for your own party?

GG: Yes. So?

GT: I dont know something seems amiss about that. Isnt that against tradition or inviting bad luck or something?

GT: But I guess it makes sense since you love baking cakes. Its like a present you give to yourself!

GG: Jake, what was it you actually wanted?

GT: Oh. I just wanted to get your advice on some stuff.

GT: But since ive been a heel and forgotten about your party maybe i shouldnt bother you with that?

GG: Mmm.

GT: So sixteen big ones huh! The ole sweet sixteen.

GT: Last one of us to notch the vaunted one sixer. Its a big step! I knew youd make it, i always said i believed in you didnt i?

GT: Just kidding, the inexorable nature of times passage virtually assured you would get that old so you didnt really have anything to do with it. I mean not that i dont still believe in you, i do.

GG: ...

GT: I cant believe its already been...

GT: How long?

GT: What, like a year already since we entered? Holy moly, where does the time go.

GG: It's been more like five months.

GT: Oh.

GT: Well thats still a pretty long time.

GT: I have to admit its been a longer stint than i expected. Certainly one involving more downtime than i would have guessed.

GT: I really thought we would have been treated to more action, what being legendary players of a mysterious cosmic game. But no, it seems the primary duty of the so called nobles is to wait around twiddling our thumbs.

GG: Mmhmm.

GT: I am really beginning to wonder when these fabled heroes will arrive? And are they really going to be those we have been led to believe?

GT: I sure hope so. Id so love to meet my pen pal. Dear old departed grandma. But as a feisty youngster! What a hoot thatll be. And you with your poppop. Lets not forget about him.

GT: Not to mention the young strider and lalonde relatives. I bet theyre a barrel of laughs. I met them once but i was too shy to say anything. Then i got in a fight. Did i ever mention that jane?

GG: Yes.

GG: Many times.

GT: Not to say its been all downtime and doldrums. Exploring has been great. Finding treasure, solving riddles, becoming better friends. I wouldnt trade that for anything.

GT: And maybe we are getting close to something big happening regardless? Every day it seems like more and more undead creatures crawl from out of the shadows. Bigger ones and stronger ones. Does their presence herald something worse coming, just as the legends indicate our presence heralds something better?

GT: I just wish we could actually kill the fucking things. Even the little ones can absorb so much damage before yielding any spoils!

GT: Remember jane? Remember at the start how we kept trying to kill them?

GG: Mmhmm.

GT: We would all gang up on like an imp skeleton for an hour just clobbering it repeatedly. Knocking its bones down, waiting for it to reassemble and keep coming at us. Only to finally be rewarded with a shitty pittance of grist!

GT: But i guess the silver lining was it forced us to explore ruins more often and scavenge for loot there. So i think weve learned a lot more this way.

GT: But it sure makes resources hard to come by, having to get them exclusively from chests and whatnot. Sometimes i wonder if weve been missing out on a really rewarding part of the game by neglecting to build up our houses? Makes you wonder. But it just costs so much! Better to stick to making more practical stuff dont you think?

GG: Mm.

GT: Sometimes i wonder if the heroes had the same problems in their game. Do you think they found an easier way to kill skeletons?

GT: Were they just as shameless as us when it came to splurging our precious grist on swanky new duds?

GT: Did the same enigmatic bard haunt their game? And if so which hilarious dead trolls did he throw into the flashy blobs?

GT: Mr erisol tells me he knows many things about the heroes because he saw them in action when he was alive. But he wont tell me a thing about them! These troll sprites sure do love keeping their secrets dont they? Heheh.

GG: That's nice, Jake. I'm kind of busy though.

GG: What did you actually want to talk to me about?

GG: Actually, why don't we just talk about it tomor-

GT: Okay we can talk about that if you insist.

GT: Really jane you sure know how to twist a fellas arm!

GT: I just wanted to get your take on what you might call my own personal ultimate riddle.

GT: It involves dirk.

GG: You don't say.

GT: Its true. I havent seen him in a couple days.

GT: I have been laying low for a while but i just received another series of pushy inquiries from him.

GT: Maybe i shouldnt be too hard on the guy since he was probably just concerned, not having heard from me and all.

GT: But i still couldnt help but detect a tone of desperation, like he could sense i may be having doubts.

GT: This kind of thing has been all too common unfortunately.

GT: Im not sure its going to work anymore.

GG: Mm.

GT: He can be so needy!

GT: If only he could just relax and trust that i wont spontaneously tire of his company.

GT: Although the irony i guess is that his overbearing tendencies are beginning to fulfill his own paranoid prophecy.

GT: Its such a shame. Weve had so many capital adventures together.

GT: I dont know why he has to be like this. He always was an intense fella. But in person... holy cow.

GT: I wonder if it has to do with the fact that he grew up alone in the middle of the ocean? And now he doesnt know how to deal with people without suffocating them?

GT: But then again i grew up under similar circumstances and i think i turned out pretty much ok socially, at least i hope so. Do you think so jane?

GG: Mmmm!

GT: Actually it just occurred to me. Its funny he didnt mention your party in his text.

GT: Im SURE he wouldnt have forgotten. He never forgets ANYTHING what with all his calculations and his computerized brain. Both figurative and literal.

GT: I wonder what his game was? He invited me on an expedition without mention of your party as a potential conflict...

GT: If he sensed i could use some space perhaps he was concerned that if we both showed up to the party it would be awkward?

GT: Or maybe he didnt want to mention he was going to the party in case it would spook me away from attending?

GT: Argh! Do you see jane?? This is what his endless machinations do to you!

GT: Anything he says could be part of some grand convoluted scheme and it just makes you agonize and boggle and wonder until your brain hurts and you just KNOW its a battle you cant win.

GT: You know what i mean jane?

GG: Mmhmm.

GT: Do you think i should just bite the bullet and end it?

GT: Its probably the right thing to do.

GT: Boy am i not looking forward to that conversation though.

GT: Its going to be a doozy. What did i get myself into here?

GT: I think ive made a lot of mistakes honestly.

GT: Not the least of which was getting this shitty tattoo, now that i think about it.

GT: Yes yes i know we all thought it was a riot at first.

GT: I guess it still is maybe? But lately ive been wondering if it might not have been an act of sound judgment.

GT: Can you believe that jane?

GG: Hmm!

GT: I dont know. Its a real pickle im in here but i do feel better just being able to get it off my chest.

GT: You are such a good friend jane, always ready to listen to my relationship woes. What a trooper!

GT: It never ceases to amaze me how excellent you are at this friendship business. Where would we all be without you?

GT: In a way you really have been the glue holding us all together on our adventure. Gosh youre a standup gal.

GT: Oh which actually reminds me of ANOTHER thing thats been bugging me about dirk.

GT: He can often be almost hilariously self absorbed. Dont even get me started on when he starts going off on these long monologues about his philosophical gobbledygook.

GT: I'm not sure he actually has much of a filter when it comes to what others regard as interesting points of conversation.

GT: Not to rag on the guy too hard but i guess at times i would just like to see a little more self awareness from him is all.

GG: Jake.

GT: Did i tell you what happened on our last expedition together?

GG: Jake.

GT: I cant remember if i mentioned. Oh man but thinking back on what happened its even more ridiculous in retrospect.

GT: Where do i begin?

GG: Jake!!!

GT: What?

GG: Shut up!

GT: Huh?

GG: Shut up!!!

GT: Errr.

GT: Did i say something wrong?

GG: JAKE.

GG: PLEASE.

GG: STOP TALKING.

GT: I dont...

GG: JAKE.

GG: I SAID SHUT UP.

GT: Wha...

GG: JUST,

GG: SHUT,

GG: THE FUCK,

GG: UUUUUUUUUUP!!!

GT: Ay caramba.

GT: What in tarnation is the matter jane?

GG: WHAT'S THE MATTER?

GG: WHAT'S THE MATTER???

GG: I AM SICK.

GG: AND FUCKING TIRED.

GG: TO DEATH.

GG: OF YOUR INSUFFERABLE BLITHERING BULLSHIT!!!!!!

GT: Whoa there.

GT: You seem really worked up. Maybe we should just calm down and talk this through like sensible adults?

GT: Also youre going kinda heavy on the caps there arent you? Sort of makes it seem like your shouting. Just saying.

GG: I AM SHOUTING!

GG: THERE ARE LITERAL SHOUTS OF ANGER COMING OUT OF MY ACTUAL MOUTH, AND THEY ARE DIRECTED AT YOU!

GT: Yikes.

GT: Well ok then.

GT: Can you tell me why youre so upset with me?

GT: Is it because i forgot your birthday party? Because i do feel awful about that.

GG: OH MY GOD. WHY ARE YOU SO CLUELESS?

GG: I CAN'T STAND IT!

GT: Really i feel like a tool about forgetting. You know how i am. I forget stuff.

GT: I mean...

GT: Shucks buster. If i knew how to make it up to you i would.

GT: If it ameliorates matters any i am sighing pretty much the shucksiest buster of contrition i can manage.

GG: IT'S NOT ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY!!!

GG: THE FACT THAT YOU FORGOT CERTAINLY DOESN'T HELP, BUT THAT'S NOT IT. SEE, YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!

GG: OH, AND COULD YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING SHUCKS BUSTER?!

GG: SHUCKS BUSTER WAS MY THING! AND YOU STOLE IT!

GT: I thought shucks buster was...

GT: Sorta our thing?

GG: NO, IT WAS MY THING, BUT I ALLOWED IT TO BE OUR THING! BACK WHEN YOU USED TO GIVE A SHIT! BUT NOW IT'S JUST MINE, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ANYMORE!

GT: Uhh.

GT: Ok?

GT: I suppose i could go with shoot buddy. Or...

GT: Fudge junior?

GG: .................

GT: Or maybe forgo an analogous catch phrase altogether heh.

GT: But i clearly stepped in it big time with you and id really like to know what i did.

GG: JAKE, LET ME ASK YOU.

GG: DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST TIME WE TALKED?

GT: Hmm.

GT: Wasnt it a few days ago?

GG: NO. TRY A FEW WEEKS AGO!

GG: AND EVEN THEN, YOU MESSAGED ME JUST TO TALK ABOUT SOME STUPID SHIT THAT HAPPENED WITH DIRK.

GG: A TEDIOUS GESTURE WHICH YOU THEN SAW FIT TO REPRISE ON MY BIRTHDAY OF ALL DAYS, WHILST CONSIDERATELY FORGETTING ABOUT IT!

GG: AND EVEN WHEN I REMINDED YOU ABOUT IT, YOU STILL BARGED AHEAD WITH YOUR SELF-INDULGENT RELATIONSHIP CLAPTRAP ANYWAY!

GT: I didnt realize it was so long ago. Sorry about that.

GT: Again all i can say is where does the time go? I guess i have trouble keeping up with everything im supposed to. Which it would seem includes personal relationships as much as calendars.

GT: Im not much of a leader of people. Not like you are jane. I think when it comes to adventuring maybe im more of a solo act?

GT: Which now that i think about it might be contributing to my problems with dirk. Maybe thats part of the reason why i needed some space?

GT: Oh brother there i go again blustering about my problems. I guess i see what you mean.

GT: But really if you wanted to talk sooner then why didnt you get in touch with me?

GT: It feels as though im always the one to say hello to you lately.

GG: YEAH! THAT'S BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE TIME WE CHAT, YOU DO NOTHING BUT TALK ABOUT YOURSELF!

GG: YOU NEVER ASK ME HOW I'M FEELING OR WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO. YOU JUST LAUNCH INTO YOUR ROMANTIC PROBLEMS, AND I JUST LISTEN LIKE AN ACCOMMODATING FOOL AS ALWAYS!

GG: SO I JUST STOPPED BOTHERING! WHY SHOULD I SUBJECT MYSELF TO THAT REPEATEDLY?!

GG: YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE MOST THOUGHTLESS, SELF-CENTERED PERSON I HAVE EVER MET!

GG: I CAN'T BELIEVE I USED TO FEEL...

GT: Huh?

GT: Used to feel what?

GG: JAKE, HAS IT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU HOW IT MUST FEEL FOR SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO HER FRIEND GO ON AND ON ABOUT HIS BOYFRIEND PROBLEMS WHEN...

GG: WHEN ALL ALONG SHE...

GG: BUT SHE JUST COULDN'T SAY BECAUSE SHE BLEW IT AND IT WAS TOO LATE TO...

GG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M BOTHERING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU. NEVER MIND.

GT: Now hold the phone.

GT: Jane i think i may finally understand whats been going on here.

GT: In retrospect i cant believe ive been this blind.

GT: Youre right i really can be deplorably thick sometimes.

GT: Looking back i can see how many of our conversations must have been torment for you.

GT: You really should have told me how you felt sooner!

GG: YEAH. I...

GG: I know. :(

GT: If you told me you had the hots for dirk i would have backed off without another word.

GT: What are friends for!

GG: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

GT: Wait...

GT: Did i say something dumb again?

GT: Consarn it.

GT: I think maybe something is getting lost in translation over our respective chat clients.

GT: Maybe we should wait until tomorrow and just clear the air face to face at your party?

GG: NO!

GG: YOU AREN'T COMING TO MY PARTY!

GT: Aw come on jane. Be a sport.

GG: YOU AREN'T COMING TO MY PARTY, BECAUSE THERE ISN'T GOING TO BE A PARTY!

GG: GO RAID SOME TOMBS WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. GO MAKE OUT WITH HIM OR BREAK UP WITH HIM, OR WHATEVER IT IS YOUR FICKLE, SELFISH HEART DESIRES!

GG: I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE WITH YOU!

GG: I AM FED UP WITH YOUR STUPID MOVIES AND YOUR STUPID ADVENTURES AND YOUR STUPID OLD TIMEY CHARMS AND YOU STUUUUUUPID DASHING GOOD LOOKS. WHO NEEDS ANY OF IT?????

GT: I say jane. Before you do anything rash...

GG: OH, WILL YOU PLEASE,

GG: JUST,

GG: STFU BUSTER!!!!!!!!!

ROXY: jane

ROXY: yo uh

ROXY: janey

ROXY: u ok there

JANE: I WILL BE PEACHY FUCKING KEEN ONCE I STOMP THIS NOVELTY MUSTACHE HEADSET INTO OBLIVION, AND NOT A MOMENT SOONER!

ROXY: janey uh

ROXY: that aint a reasonable thing you said

JANE: AU CONTRAIRE.

JANE: I BELIEVE YOU WILL FIND THAT ONCE THIS PIECE OF SHIT HAS BEEN REDUCED TO SUBATOMIC PARTICLES, WE WILL ALL COME OUT SMELLING LIKE FUCKING ROSES.

ROXY: jaaaaane

ROXY: stoppit :(

ROXY: ur upsettin fefeta

ROXY: just

ROXY: think of fefeta is all im asking

ROXY: poor fefeta :'(

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383

JANE: OH POOR FEFETA MY SWEET PATOOTIE!

JANE: YOU AND I BOTH KNOW FEFETA HAS HAD TO DEAL WITH GARBAGE FROM JERKOFF BOYS BEFORE.

JANE: SO DON'T GIVE ME THIS POOR FEFETA CRAP.

ROXY: lol yeah

ROXY: my girl fefeta knows whats up

ROXY: she been around the d bag block a time or 2

ROXY: em i rite fefeta

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 3;3

ROXY: shit yes gimme a paw bump

ROXY: BOMP

ROXY: jane u want in on this action

ROXY: come give us a fist fulla sugar

ROXY: complete the 3way for max girl power + solidarity against dumb dudes

ROXY: janey jeez dont leave us hanging here

JANE: SIGH.

JANE: FINE.

ROXY: jane that was the piss poorest paw bump ive ever seen

ROXY: that was like a negative bump

ROXY: we are going to have to bump long and hard into the night to dig us outta this fuckin bump hole you dug us into

ROXY: w/ that tragic bump

ROXY: that bump was like

ROXY: shakespearean

ROXY: makes me want to weep softly and leave a bouquet somewhere

ROXY: someone plays a sad trumpet in the distance

ROXY: look fefeta just sniffled a little at how sad that bump w-

JANE: SHHHHHHHH!

ROXY: ok god

ROXY: was just tryin to cheer you up

ROXY: take ur mind off whatever the hell that was

ROXY: you werent serious about calling off the party were you

ROXY: here let me just get the chess guys to help put the table back on the roof

ROXY: and maybe salvage the cake out of that sand dune over there...

ROXY: aaaaand NOPE the chess guys just finished eatin it

ROXY: lets just bake another k?

JANE: NO, I WAS SERIOUS!

JANE: I'M NOT...

JANE: I'm not in the mood for a party anymore.

ROXY: so it sounds like

ROXY: u got jaked

JANE: >:(

ROXY: why yes

ROXY: that is the face of a girl who just got english'd with extreme prejudice

ROXY: he was a block head and forgot your birthday didnt he

ROXY: im sorry jane

JANE: Yeah, me too. Can we maybe not rehash the whole terrible conversation though??

ROXY: yeah we dont have to

ROXY: just maybe try not to hold whatever dumb shit he said against him forever?

ROXY: thats just how the guy is

ROXY: its like

ROXY: he doesnt mean to be a douche

ROXY: but its just kind of a byproduct of the whole ridiculous jake english experience

ROXY: like his dunkass shenanigans leave behind a residue that looks like douche and tastes like douche but it aint the real thing?

ROXY: like douche substitute

ROXY: "i cant believe its not douche"

ROXY: um

ROXY: im just trying to say not terrible things about him in hopes you dont start hating each other but i guess this isnt what you wanna hear now

JANE: >:(

ROXY: soooo yeah

ROXY: i guess jakes dumpin dirk soon?

ROXY: hahah like the writing wasnt so on the wall with those two from day one

ROXY: poor dirk

ROXY: ive wanted to say something to prepare him for that but

ROXY: never had the heart to bring it up i guess?

ROXY: what can u do....

ROXY: hey

ROXY: but the silver lining is

ROXY: i mean if you can forgive him for shitting on your bday and stuff

ROXY: maybe this is finally your chance to make a play 4 the j man??

ROXY: ehhhh??? ;)

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38D

JANE: ROXY, PLEASE.

JANE: AS IF THAT ISN'T THE FURTHEST THING FROM MY MIND RIGHT NOW!

JANE: I AM SO DONE WITH THAT WHOLE TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

ROXY: so you really think youre just

ROXY: completely over him?

JANE: YESSIREE!

JANE: IF JAKE'S THE RAINBOW, THEN JUST CALL ME A LITTLE HOUSE FROM KANSAS!

JANE: WHEEEEEE!

ROXY: wait rly

ROXY: as in like you dont give a shit if he dates anybody or

JANE: MMMMMMMHM!!!

ROXY: i seeee

ROXY: iiiiiinteresting!

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38O

JANE: WAIT...

JANE: WHAT??

JANE: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???

ROXY: nothing!

ROXY: i was just...

ROXY: it was a joke!

JANE: WAS IT REALLY?!

ROXY: ok maybe not a total joke

ROXY: but still mostly a joke!

ROXY: im only

ROXY: trying to

ROXY: blurgh

ROXY: i dont know

JANE: ROXY, I GET YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, BUT A LOT OF THINGS YOU'RE SAYING HERE AREN'T REALLY HELPING!

JANE: DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING HALF THE TIME?

JANE: I THINK I LIKED YOU BETTER WHEN YOU WERE DRINKING!

ROXY: jaaane no

ROXY: dont say that

ROXY: i had a problem :(

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38(

JANE: OK, YEAH!

JANE: I WAS WAY OUT OF LINE THERE AND I'M SORRY!

JANE: THAT STUPID CONVERSATION WITH JAKE JUST PUSHED ME OVER SOME KIND OF EDGE AND NOW I AM FEELING REALLY, REALLY DISTRAUGHT!

JANE: THIS GAME IS SO MUCH MORE DEPRESSING THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE! EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND EMPTY AND FULL OF GRAVES AND ALL WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IS JUST KEEP WAITING AND WAITING AND WAITING! BUT FOR HOW MUCH LONGER? AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE MY DAD IS, AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO REACH CALLIOPE, AND WHAT IF THEY'RE BOTH...

JANE: AND NOW ON TOP OF ALL THAT, I MAY HAVE PERMANENTLY DESTROYED MY FRIENDSHIP WITH JAKE!

JANE: AND NOW...

JANE: Now...

JANE: I just want to be alone.

ROXY: jane wait

JANE: I have to go!

ROXY: where are you going!

JANE: HOME!!!

ROXY: good lard

ROXY: all my friends are being disasters

ROXY: welp looks like its just us

ROXY: party nite w gcat and fefeta

ROXY: fefeta???

ROXY: oh dangit

ROXY: hey you know i could have used some support there

ROXY: where was all that profound shippin expertise when we really needed it!

ROXY: usually i can barely shut you up girl

ROXY: maybe you just clammed up at all the drama?

ROXY: hehehe youd have loved that pun

ROXY: the one i just said about the clams

ROXY: aw its ok you had enough drama in your lives

ROXY: you deserve some rest

ROXY: good night sweet princess

ROXY: sooo

ROXY: gcat

ROXY: i guess that just leaves the two of us

ROXY: wow this is

ROXY: great?

ROXY: you gonna behave urself

ROXY: not do anything too uh

ROXY: vexing or cheshire catty

ROXY: i hope?

ROXY: oh mother fuck

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moony-meadow · 3 years

Text

Going for Goldie (5)

Pt. 1 / Pt. 2 / Pt. 3 / Pt. 4 / Pt. 5 / Pt. 6

Laying in a heap at the bottom of Mammon’s stomach, I fought the urge to yell at the demon for the less than gentle treatment I’d just been subjected to. Despite the turbulence I’d just experienced, I had managed to pick up on the fact that Lucifer had made an appearance.

I had no desire to make the fact that I’d been swallowed known to a single other person, especially not Lucifer, who would likely punish both Mammon and I for the stunt. For that reason, I remained as still and silent as possible. Lucifer was observant, the slightest move or sound on my part could alert him to my location.

“Were you talking to yourself, Mammon?” I heard the Avatar of Pride’s distant voice ask.

“Huh? Oh yeah just--just talkin’ to myself…” Mammon responded awkwardly. I shook my head. I knew his proficiency with lying to be somewhat spotty. There were rare occasions he could pull off a flawless fib, but most of the time he stumbled through his lies with all the grace of an elephant. This time seemed to be more like the latter.

There was a brief pause in the conversation going on outside. It seemed as though Lucifer was considering whether or not to press his brother further on his unusual behavior. Apparently, he ended up deeming it not worth it as he smoothly switched subjects. “I scoured the entirety of the House of Lamentation and have not managed to locate your credit card,” he announced in his usual icy tone. “Evidently you finally managed to choose a competent hiding place.” The annoyance in the demon’s voice was restrained but still noticeable. Lucifer didn’t like being bested, especially not by his younger brother, whom he insisted was hopelessly idiotic.

Mammon’s stomach shifted slightly. I kept a firm hold on the walls to keep myself steady. “In that case, maybe you should just let me keep Goldie then,” the Avatar of Greed offered hopefully.

Lucifer gave a low, ominous chuckle. “No, I’ve still got one more ace up my sleeve,” he remarked. With my ear pressed against the outer wall of the stomach, I could just barely pick up on the sound of the bedroom door being opened, followed by a new set of footsteps. “You see, I have a theory that you can’t go twelve hours separated from your credit card.” Lucifer continued. “I’m far too busy to spend my time surveilling you, but I thankfully know someone all too willing to help out for the promise of food.”

“He promised me ten large pizzas,” came Beelzebub’s voice, revealing who the newcomer was.

“So, Beel will stay and watch you for the next twelve hours,” Lucifer announced, “If you manage to go that long without going after your ‘Goldie’, then I will allow you to hold onto it for the time being.” A feeling of dread was quickly beginning to come over me. If Beel was going to be watching Mammon like a hawk, there would be no opportunity for him to cough me back up--I’d be stuck in his stomach for the next twelve hours!

“I--uh, is that really necessary?” Mammon questioned nervously. I could feel his muscles tensing up around me.

Lucifer gave another deep chuckle. “See you two tomorrow,” was all he said before his footsteps receded and the door clicked shut behind him.

A long moment of silence stretched out between the two occupants (not including myself) of the room. Mammon clearly didn’t know what to say or do, and Beelzebub had never been the overly talkative type. Just as I thought the quiet would never be broken, Beel finally spoke up. “It smells like Y/N in here.” I smacked a hand to my face. Of all the things for him to say, it had to be that.

“Oh, well um--” Mammon started but was quickly interrupted.

“It smells pretty recent too.” It wasn’t all that surprising that Beel’s sense of smell was so good considering his obsession with food. But the fact that he could detect the freshness of a scent was kind of scary. “Mammon, is Y/N hiding somewhere in here?” Despite being the younger of the two demons, Beel’s voice took on the chastising edge of a parental figure.

I bit my lip. I had no clue how Mammon was going to explain his way out of this one, especially when it was clear he was currently far from the top of his lying game.

There was a moment’s hesitation on Mammon’s part and then, “I’ll only tell ya if you promise to keep it just between us.”

My mouth fell open. “He is not seriously considering telling Beel where I am,” I quietly hissed. This whole situation was already embarrassing enough as it was without someone else getting involved.

“I don’t know about that,” Beel responded, seeming unmoved by Mammon’s pleading tone.

“Aw, come on. If not for me, then at least for Y/N,” Mammon insisted.

A moment of silence, and then, “Alright, fine,” Beel relented.

I massaged the bridge of my nose. All of this nonsense had quickly caused a headache to form. The involvement of a third party in this mess was something I very much did not want. However, it seemed I had little choice in the matter. Big shocker, the person stuck in someone’s stomach was at everyone else’s whim.

I listened silently as Mammon explained the situation. When he finally got to the part about my current location, I heard a sharp intake of breath from Beelzebub. “You ate them?! Are you crazy?!” The concern in the Avatar of Gluttony voice was honestly touching. Despite what his impressive height and rippling muscles might suggest, Beel was actually quite the big softie.

“I told you, our pact makes it perfectly safe. Tell ‘im, Y/N.” I felt one of Mammon’s fingers prod his stomach. I was half tempted to say nothing in order to get him in trouble with Beel, as payback for disclosing my location without my consent and all. However, causing more chaos in a situation that was already such a huge fiasco didn’t seem like the best idea in the long run.

“Yeah, I’m fine!” I called out. “Relatively speaking,” I added with a grumble.

I heard a small commotion outside and then suddenly felt a hand being pressed against the stomach wall. “You’re really in there then,” came Beel’s voice, much closer now.

“Oi, get off of me, would ya?” Mammon exclaimed. I tightened my hold on the walls as everything around me shook with the giant demon’s movements. I could only assume Mammon was shoving Beel away from him.

Once everything settled back down and I felt sure I wouldn’t immediately topple over, I stood up and pressed myself close to the outermost stomach wall. “You’re not going to tell Lucifer, are you?” I shouted out to Beel. The guy was pretty loyal to his oldest brother, I doubted he would feel particularly comfortable having to lie to him.

A low sigh came from the red headed demon. “I guess not, though I’m going to have to figure out what to tell him.”

A grateful smile formed on my face, though I quickly remembered Beel wouldn’t be able to see it and called out a verbal thank you instead. Maybe getting him in on their scheme hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.

“Why don’t ya go to town for a lil while and act like ya followed me there?” Mammon suggested. “Then go tell Lucifer ya lost me ‘cause you got distracted by the food in a bakery window or somethin’.” My eyebrows rose. The amount of decent ideas Mammon was having recently was getting a little freaky.

“That does sound like something I would do,” Beel admitted shamelessly. “Fine, I’ll do it. But you might not want to take Y/N out until the twelve hours are up, just in case Lucifer decides to do another search for your card.” That statement was certainly enough to put a frown on my face. Sleeping over in a demon’s stomach was very much not how I wanted my night to go.

“Mmmkay,” Mammon responded, sounding far too chipper for my liking. He was probably happy to keep me in his stomach longer, the jerk.

I could hear Beelzebub’s footsteps retreating towards the bedroom door, but then they stopped. “Oh and Y/N,” he piped up sweetly. “Can I eat you next time?”

Mammon’s barely suppressed chortling shook me. I aimed another elbow jab at the stomach wall. “I am not letting you guys take turns eating me!” I snapped. “So get that idea out of your heads.”

A sound of disappointment came from Beel. “But I bet you taste so good,” he pouted.

“Oh trust me, they do,” Mammon replied. I could practically hear the Cheshire like grin in his voice.

#shall we vore #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t vore #soft vore

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hydrospanners · 4 years

Text

fic masterlist: swtor

at the request of literally no one, i’ve created a masterlist of all my swtor fic. first is a chronological collection of all the swtor fic i’ve written in my “canon”. it’s broken up into snippets of time relative to the events of swtor. aus and gift fics are at the end. this is more for me than anything else, but if you have a bunch of time on your hands and want to read some fic--enjoy!!!

i am the most self-indulgent author known to man so there are numerous fics that don’t feature any canon characters in any significant way. i’m not sorry, but i did mark them with an asterisk for everyone’s edification. i also wrote actually vaguely descriptive descriptions instead of whatever bullshit i put in the descriptions on ao3. all links go to ao3 because tumblr was not designed for reading and it shows.

53 fics below the cut... what a trip, y’all.

backstory these fics are about things that happened before the opening of the class story.

* a very velaran life day - snippets of different life days in the velaran family history. no canon characters in it yet, but maybe this christmas i’ll get to some fics that aren’t solely about my own ocs.

* the shape of things to come - the story about how rea finally joined the jedi at the ripe old age of sixteen.

* a dimming star - the first steps on rea’s jedi path. they aren’t fun ones, lads!

* necessary sacrifice - like three years down the timeline and still no canon characters! rea continues to struggle with this whole being a jedi thing, and it continues to struggle with her! this one features a haircut as a symbol of a turning point in the story.

bars and stripes - canon characters??? in my fic????? its more likely than you think. this is a shameless ripoff of an episode of m*a*s*h masquerading as doc backstory. does it have cameos and/or mentions of other healer companions? maybe!!!

prelude these are fics set during the prologue of the class stories, everything that happens between the start and completing the capital planet missions.

* memories - rhese? do you finally get a say in all this??? this is the moment rhese and rea finally see each other for the first time since they were recruited to the jedi, set at the very start of the class story.

attachments - kira and rea talk about rhese. that’s it. that’s the fic.

act one all the stories set between killing tarnis and beginning preparations to capture the emperor (everything after coruscant ending and pubside balmorra starting). rip orgus. one day ill finish all those wips about how sad it was when he bit it. in the mean time, can i interest you in some gifsets?

lessons - now rea’s padawan, kira reflects on how bad rea is at teaching, though maybe without as much clarity as i just implied.

a tangled web - so stupid it’s basically crack, kira has to rescue rea from an embarrassing situation.

of flowers, failure, and the virtues of friendship - kira and rhese start to bond over the shared torment of having to be around rea. rivals to friends (one day i’ll write the “to lovers” part that comes after).

act two all the stories during the time when the knight is prepping for the assault on the emperor’s fortress and then assaulting it. everything between pubside balmorra starting and breaking free from the emperor’s fortress after that super successful plan to bring him in alive. great job jedi!

filling the table - is that shipfic????? the reason i started writing swtor fic in the first place??? this is rea being thirsty disguised as me sewing seeds for the eventual doc x rea romance. pazaak themed for some reason? (doc x rea)

when the wicked play - this is me being obsessed with the translation of video game violence to vaguely realistic circumstances posing as doc feeling some kind of way about rea murdering a whole bunch of dudes who wanted to hurt her but weren’t powerful enough. not primarily romantic but definitely some setup for their relationship.

night shift - everything is doc x rea and nothing hurts. rea’s got work to do but who can work when there’s a horny mustachio’d doctor trying to persuade her back to bed??? it’s not love it’s just good sex!!!!! honest!!!!(doc x rea)

these nights never seem to go to plan - rea isn’t yearning for affection, she’s just too tired to get out of doc’s bed after so much boning. okay maybe this is about slightly more than good sex after all... doc x rea TENDERNESS.

somewhere we’ve not been before - this is the good shit lads!!!! doc x rea!!! first dates!!!! shenanigans!!!! honest to goodness falling in love between all that fucking that do!!!!!!!!!!!! (doc x rea)

no better taste - a sequel to the last fic featuring the morning after!!! some post-horniness introspection!! tenderness!!!!!! hints of yearning!!! god i miss the days before the mind control and the carbonite when the problems were normal things like commitment and abandonment issues. (doc x rea)

heart - rea sends doc a rocking “thanks for the great sex” gift!! rhese is disgusted by every part of it! this is comedy folks!!!! (doc x rea... i guess)

interruptions - rea takes a work call while she’s boning doc. that’s the whole fic. i think this was my first spicy fic?? i can’t remember. (doc x rea)

* where you go to rest your bones - sibling tenderness!!!! their relationship is super complicated, but rhese is reminded that underneath all the bullshit rea really does love him a lot.... it’s both sad and not sad at the same time. schroedinger’s sadness.

gifts - the crew tries to plan a gift for rea, but what do you get for the woman who’s banned from everything?? so dumb it’s basically crack and i’m not sorry for it.

crapshoot - the crew takes bets on what rea’s next Bad Idea TM will be. she shows them you can’t predict chaos. basically crack but i don’t care.

spoonful of sugar - vignettes about the jedi knight crew dealing with sickness. almost entirely comedy and/or fluff. doc x rea content is present and rhese x kira content is suggested.

a little eggstra - grocery shopping gone awry, based on an old tumblr text post. hella stupid, yet hella fun. doc x rea is in the background.

to break our bones for kindling - you thought we were just having good times??? you’re a fool. doc’s job is to heal people and rea’s job is to break them. sometimes they have work-related disagreements!!! be sad with me. doc x rea.

* when a problem comes along, you must whip it - i can only stop being stupid for so long, so here’s the story about how rea came to possess her lightwhip, the stupidest weapon known to man. these events do not go well for rhese.

things unsaid - a dumb doc x rea drabble about stupid shit rea says when she’s been mortally wounded. if doc were to just let her die, no one would blame him.

* the things you do for love are gonna come back to you one by one - a bit of a character/relationship study about what rhese is willing to sacrifice for love of his sister, no matter how complicated things are between them. a second chapter about what rea sacrifices for rhese is in my wips and will be completed... .eventually.

lovesick - doc x rea ship content. my interpretation of that one conversation where doc’s like “hey would your jedi powers tell me if im going crazy also do you love me? check yes or no. i will not elaborate.”

* the things we left behind - oh no lads.... we’re building up to the fortress shit.... our good times are over. rea does some underhanded shit to make sure her brother doesn’t go on this mission to capture the emperor cause the plan does not seem like a great one.

act three wow wasn’t act two fun??? so much silly nonsense and love. now get a drink assholes it’s Time To Be Sad. act three covers everything in the class stories after coming back from that super successful assault on the emperor’s fortress (great job jedi!) to finally stabbing the bastard in the dark fortress and hoping that gets the job done at last. (spoilers: it doesn’t!!!!!) aka stories from belsavis to the final assault on dromund kaas.

everything we left there - it’s trauma time!!! rea’s fucked up from the fortress and feeling the pressure (thanks for the prophecy scourge!!! love that!!!!) so she hurts people she cares about to protect them. it’s her signature move!

the only thing that’s real - rea continues to be fucked up from what happened on the fortress but hey... at least she isn’t fucked up alone??? sad doc x rea content.

into the jungle - the gang is on belsavis and no one is having a good time! since rea isn’t herself, doc tries to pick up the slack and reassure kira that it’ll all be okay! it goes about as well as you’d expect.

interlude now that i’m looking at it, there are some serious gaps in my fic coverage. anyway, sad hours are over, the emperor is (kind of but not really) dead and there may still be a war on but things are looking up! this covers everything between the emperor’s death and the beginning of kotfe, including forged alliances and the shadow of revan.

hands too hungry - doc finally takes rea on that honeymoon she didn’t really care about in the first place! tragically, rea is way too horny to be impressed by what an amazing vacation he planned for himself them. peak rea x doc content.

no kind of romantic - it’s doc and rea’s one year anniversary but they are both working on opposite sides of the galaxy. sad! it’s doc x rea fluff disguised as angst.

a little help from a friend - rea and theron are worst/best friends and i recycle romance tropes into annoying friendship ones. this is the least sexy sharing body heat fic you’ve ever (not?) read. bite me.

retirement - rea has some feelings about her very violent, stressful job and how it interferes with her husband doing things that actually help and heal. doc x rea content.

the dreaded kotfe content these are sad hours!!! this is everything from arcann’s invasion on, cause i’m not breaking it up by post-carbonite storyline you bastards. i don’t know why i’m being so hostile no one asked me to do this.

every doubt we had - after watching what may have been his sister’s death by exploding starship, rhese is having trouble sleeping. no one is more surprised than him when seeks out doc for comfort! doc & rhese brothers by marriage solidarity. carbonite angst...

love is a waiting game - rea’s been MIA for six months since the ship she was on bit it and her crew is finally making some changes. doc is sad about it. doc & rhese brothers by marriage solidarity again. doc x rea angst.

waiting - some time has passed and now rhese is the sad one again!!! grief is so funny isn’t it??? hahahaha haha hahahaha why is no one else laughing? doc & rhese brothers by marriage solidarity yet again.

the greatest distance - rea’s back baby!!!! oh but this isn’t a celebration. she’s taking a tour of her long lost ship now that all the people she loved aren’t in it. it’s a sad one, fellas.

* when the stars are the only thing we share - rea tracks down some people from her past to help her track down her brother since he went missing while she was having a nap. no canon characters were used in the making of this fic.

leave her sleeping a little longer - rea has a dream and wakes up missing doc even more than she was before. sad hours. doc x rea angst.

take back what the kingdom stole - after theron pulls some Shenanigans (you know the ones) his friendship with rea is in peril. they both break character and actually talk shit out for once.

a wish your heart makes - rea dreams a dream. so does doc. it’s a wet one. this makes it sound lighthearted but actually it’s angst with a side of porn. doc x rea supreme spicy/sad content.

overserved - back to crack baby!! rea gets drunk and acts a fool based on a joke made in a discord server. this is the best shit i’ve ever written.

thrusting back into my skin i feel anew - the band is back together again and everything is fine!!!! just kidding -- actually people change a lot in six years and rea and doc are having some trouble fitting back into the marriage they had back then. doc x rea angst but with a hopeful ending!

non-canon fics i’ve written a couple of things with my dumb characters that are too stupid even for me to put into their canon story or are otherwise aus. these are them, listed in no particular order.

the lies we tell ourselves - a sadder (yet possibly more realistic) take on the ossus reunion and what follows. a bit experimental. doc x rea angst au.

archiban frodrick’s kennel - a romance au where doc is a vet and rea has a pet with a health issue, inspired by my own stupid dog whom i love very much. doc x rea. spiciness suggested but not detailed; sorry horndogs.

fallen - a fun au where rea’s shittiness as a teacher and everything being bad leads to kira falling to the dark side... its angst lads.

the new recruit - rusk’s squad adopts a kitten. that’s the fic.

cruel - ever wonder how things would have turned out if rea was never smuggled off eriadu and got plucked up by the sith?? no??? well i have and i wrote about it. the self-indulgence never ends.

fill my lungs with sweetness - a gift fic for @hoiist; flower-themed vignettes about doc expressing his love for hoiist’s knight, vii. this is some real soft shit, lads.

remember me, love - another gift fic for @hoiist; this time some ossus-flavored angst about doc seeing through vii’s eyes in his dreams. what he sees is not comforting!!! all aboard the angst train--choo choo!!

#swtor #swtor fic #jedi knight #hydrostuff #hydrofic #hydroswstuff #hydroswfic #this was.... a lot

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01010010-posts · 5 years

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I need headcanons about your human rk900 pronto. He sounds delightful!

i have a lot of asks to reply to but i couldn’t sleep today because i was already answering to this in my head THANK U to give me this opportunity to talk about my bitch™we’ll break him down point by point slowly:he’s the youngest of the trio, born probably after a year or two. he’s a little prince. connor&60 are twins, yes, they experienced some ‘childish rivarly’ but never jealousy. they’re the same. maybe without RK900′s birth they would have hated each other in some weird and difficult way but he’s here, so they form a coalition against this ‘change’ (more connor than 60, he’s the mischievous one when little). connor&60 relationship gets kinda morbid. they tease him a lot because they’re older and because he has all the attention. nothing new in babye’s behaviour, just something that will go away when they all grow up. except it doesn’t. and really it’s not their fault, most of the time kids aren’t inherently evil but adults are. well, if you want to call amanda ‘evil’. because she’s not inherently evil either– she’s just herself. which is a kind of bad self towards connor&60&RK900 but i think, i guess, i hope, she never meant harm to them. anyway. she adopts them at some point. (are their parents dead? is she their aunt? distant relative?) 5 for the twins and 3 / 4 for RK900 would make sense. it’s a trauma of course. connor&60 lash out at any given time, they don’t want to be there. they’re moody, connor is somewhat violent with others, 60 cries a lot. RK900 is…. nothing. at 3 you haven’t even properly started to be a person yet. you’re aware of yourself in the moment but that doesn’t count, since usually ‘memory’ and ‘the awareness of self’ are kinda the same, and at 3 there’s very few things you remember in retrospective. especially at 4, for some reason, it’s difficult to remember when you were 4. (for the records infantile amnesia & false memories are v interesting things!). tho that depends on person and on events (deaths should be well carved in your brain, even at a chemical level). and were RK900 to remember these fragments it is said that the emotional attachment would be very low. (see?? im studying for my kids exam!!! im that bitch!!).amanda cares for them, though her ‘idea’ of caring never includes emotional support. which should never lack to anyone, less to three kids without their parents. she tries to raise them to her best (amanda as a ‘mother’ is a nice comparison to her game’s role imo, there too she acts as someone who watches over connor) but kinda takes connor&60 for ‘lost causes’ pretty soon. they remember their parents, she will never be a replacement for them. they know. she knows. RK900 doesn’t know. he can’t. never got to know them enough. they don’t know. she knows. she focuses much more on RK900, shaping him right from the start into what she thinks is one should be. he doesn’t mind, amanda’s all he gets to call ‘mother’. he feels that he’s doing something wrong, his brothers make him understand that. they don’t want to play with him, don’t want to talk with him, they ignore him. connor blames him for everything as a scapegoat, he says caustic things to him. ‘look at your eyes.’ ‘i don’t have a brother, i don’t know you.’ ‘you’re probably someone else’s and i hate you.’ 60 does too until he realizes that RK900 doesn’t deserve this. he concludes that, were they to hate someone, it should be amanda. but never says so. they grow up. there’s lots of negative feelings. connor hates amanda and RK900, hardly stands 60. 60 would like to adapt and learn to love everyone in this ‘family’ but it’s impossible in this environment. RK900 has self-esteem and guilt problems, he obeys whatever amanda says because he knows no better and gains the only name connor will call him for a long time ‘pet’. amanda is: a rather complicated character here. she’s somewhat neutral, she doesn’t hate connor nor 60 nor RK900, her actions are never dictated by resentment, despite these children were basically dumped in front of her home. but then again she’s not guided by love either. i think her only fault was not picking a side (sloth?). but then again this is not a ‘fault’ at the 100%. can’t force someone to love someone they don’t, especially in such situation. which is why, in some way, even when openly against her, connor&60 still seek her approval. probably, if she recognized their efforts without betting everything on RK900 and comparing him to them they would have been more at peace.during their high-school/college years connor decides to cut off ties. he’s going to be free. leaving everything behind. 60 is torn. he can be with amanda and RK900, accepting his never-ending future of being second. or he can be what he’s always been, connor’s shadow. but at least connor lets him do what he wants. one night connor has a bad argument with amanda (no, she never raises her voice, but he sure does) and storms off into his room. (they have 3 rooms but 60 can’t really sleep when alone so he’s almost always in connor’s, begging him to sleep together, that he will be invisible, that he will put his pillow at the end of the bed and be quiet and rest in the opposite position as connor. connor is lowkey annoyed but he has nightmares often (which get worse after cole) and 60 is a nice presence so he just says ‘you’re a hopeless gay AND if you touch my dick i’ll kill you’) 60 goes to him to talk but sees that he’s putting clean clothes in a bag. 60′s able to convince him to not be so stupid but connor warns him ‘as soon as a i can i’ll leave this place and you’ll have to decide, either you’re with me or you’re with them’. 60 knows he’s not joking. and the day connor’s ready to go away and start college he follows him. they live together for some time. connor has always wanted to be a detective (a child’s dream, pure). he puts everything he’s got. he’s good. 60 is lost. finds himself in clubs and with ‘bad’ people. he earns some easy money. he thinks he can live a carefree life forever. he starts to bring weird guests to his and connor’s apartment. smokes pot few times. connor is slowly back on being a person without problems (in his mind, since amanda&RK900 were the problems) so he doesn’t want to put up with his twin’s antics. he kinda kicks him out. 60 gets a little worse. more lost. gets a place with two sex workers (a drag and a prostitute). they take care of him in some ways. he understands that this is not how he should behave. he attempts to be better. he’s still lost. he realizes how his life has always been ‘connor is selfish but he’s good, so i will protect him’ and how little he knows of himself. he has…. been erasing himself more and more in connor’s favor. he has subconciously been the wall between his rage and amanda’s nothing. he’s still lost. he starts his rapport with connor again. he’s in awe at how good his twin has become. he has friends. he has good grades. 60′s happy that he has finally become the person he should have been. he’s so content he decides he wants to be a detective too. connor’s this close to punch him and probably does at some point since every one of them has a different perception of physical contact (connor’s one is angry, 60′s is sensual, RK900′s nonexistent). but 60′s okay with that. he’s always been someone that gets hurt and smiles. it’s just another of their rocky beginnings. 60 is almost found.RK900 in the meanwhile…. is both alone & lonely. he has a hard understanding of the world; he knows everything– in theory. but practical? none. his hands don’t do much if not writing and typing long essays. he studies a lot. that’s all he’s allowed to do and all he does. eventually he becomes detached. we’ll skip the evangelion part about his sexual needs and sexuality but to make it brief he’s not accustomed to himself. his body is too big, his shoulders too broad, his height too much. he loathes himself. he’s scared of himself. whenever someone compliments him about anything other than his grades he gets disgusted because in his brain is ingrained that that’s a lie. he hates his eyes more than anything. he wonders where he got them from. they’re his own personal curse. always reminding him his isolation. without brother, without twin, without mother. no one has blue in them. he never gets a girlfriend (not that he wouldn’t have a boyfriend, but even if he’s so huge he’s lowkey scared because he has not forgotten the bruises of connor’s fury on him and others) and keeps being a virgin (not even a first kiss) despite having many trying their luck with him, too sure he’s unlovable, too sure he’s somewhat bearing mankind first sin. he contemplated suicide. he’s insecure to the max. he finishes high-school. he could go to the best of colleges. he has a fine scholarship. amanda lets him know that the best option would be a very profitable profession. either politician or lawyer mhh no, no, prosecutor, judge? surgeon? he thinks about it. for a long time. 60, who kinda felt guilty about leaving like this and about not telling connor to stop with bullying him, texts him sometimes. he tells RK900 that connor wants to be a detective. he didn’t know. something happens. it’s a small thing. stupid, even. amanda probably makes a snide comment about connor. or wants to throw away what he left. he snaps. doesn’t say a thing but enrolls in the same cheap college as connor’s&60′s. he never felt anything until that moment. the feeling of being his own person, maker of his destiny; is both thrilling & frightful. amanda discovers when she asks him what he chose. he waits for a slap that never comes. it would have been cathartic. to finally be free, to rebel, and to be disowned and rejected. but amanda’s not stupid. while he closes his eyes she doesn’t hurt him. she only says ‘i’m disappointed’. that…. that doesn’t feel good as a slap would’ve. he’s terrified. but he can’t come back now. can’t rely on her anymore as she tells him he has two days to go away. he has done the wrong thing again. it’s not easy to accept that. he dies a little. he contemplates suicide again. he has his college tuition paid and his slice of his parents’ inheritance. he calls 60 crying. he can’t go to their apartment because connor would kill him. he’s alone. 60 tells him that there’s a cheap place where he can sleep. he goes there for a couple of days, 60 visits him, they have a chat, RK900 cries again and 60′s heart is so sad in seeing his red puffy eyes. he concludes that life’s not been so fair with them but they all made it more difficult by creating fake enemies in themselves. they search for an apartment together. RK900 settles his few things in there, it’s not the best and he has trouble being with other people but it’s okay for now. he starts to build his persona, he tries contacts, fake glasses, hobbies. he sees connor from time to time, but hides as soon as he comes near. he watches him from afar. for this reason he ends up attending a lot of crime-law related courses. he might as well take those exams since he still doesn’t know what to do. he gets good grades. he starts to like it. connor’s center of gravity is so heavy they all…. kinda copy him and become detectives. connor, at some point, gets 60 to spill the bean and acknowledges RK900 existence. he doesn’t care about him anymore. he’s a new person, he’s better, he’s free. RK900 never was his brother from day one. 60 is not okay with the whole situation but doesn’t think it’s a big thing, at least connor’s not livid and RK900 is fine.they all get to the DPD. it irks connor but he has an objective and he’s going to do whatever it takes, he’s going to be something. RK900 is pleased to be nothing. an ordinary detective, a police officer, whatever. he wants to take his time in living. peaceful. years pass & im very ignorant about police things in the usa so may have gotten the timeline wrong but i tried&searched believe me. they become detectives. connor always strives for a higher position. cole happens. cole dies. this happens. they continue their lives. RK900 gets promoted lieutenant instead of him. it’s hell.connor sees red. RK900 never wanted that. connor can’t think straight and in his mind it’s all his fault again, he wanted to ruin even this for him, never leaving him his piece of heaven for god knows why. RK900 tries to refuse, to explain to connor that he only wants to be some low rank and nothing else, he never meant to, to explain that connor’s the one who needs, who deserves this promotion. it’s no use. they get into a fight. well. connor gets into a fight. he punches RK900. RK900 falls to the ground. connor goes on top of him. 60 is distraught. attempts to stop connor the first time of his life because this, this is understandable but this is too much. it’s not his fault this time, it never was, and connor needs to grow the fuck up and forgive whatever has been eating him for decades. RK900 never reacted. but this time. this time he remembers, he knows. this time is not his fault. not the one to blame. sure, fate’s the one. but connor’s too, he too has the blame in his own destruction. these are the fruits. the catharsis that never came with amanda comes with him. RK900 punches connor back. time stops. everyone stop. he know what to do with his hands finally. then. times resumes. and they punch each other until they’re no longer able to stand. 60 cries. they’re kids still. and they’re all grounded. the punishment is: being themselves.RK900 has the habit of eating and spending his lunch break in the old archive. nobody uses it. there’s mostly file cases from long long time ago, still on paper. it’s quiet. and nobody looks at him. one day he’s taken aback because there’s someone else. he’s a bit annoyed he will have to find another place. he gets kindly informed that they’re the new part-timer that’s going to transfer these paper files into computer’s one. an android would have been too pricey. humans are the only thing one’s can afford sometimes. he asks if it’s okay for him to eat his lunch there that day. he’s welcome whenever he wants. he’s shy at first but does so. especially because there’s not another place calm enough. at some point they start to chat, he brings in work to share insights and so on. it’s his first friend. 60 discovers it. he pushes his brother to ditch the ‘i have a friend’ story, of course he’s in love. he isn’t. he doesn’t know what love means and he doesn’t want to know. 60 gives himself the role of cupid. of course he flirts with them. of course he does it only when RK900 is watching. it begins to be annoying. 60 doesn’t stop. RK900 is afraid that his only friend will become his brother’s partner or worse, his brother’s friend. and he knows that they won’t spend time with him again. and he’s sort of mad because he had one thing and everything was going fine. he was handling it alone. and nobody told him what to do for the first time. he doesn’t eat in the archive anymore. he spends his lunch break at the nearby park. nothing feels real. he contemplates suicide. his hands, his eyes, him. everything is wrong with him. he’s unable to ‘look’, just ‘watch’. in his vision things seem just faraway objects. he’s unable to ‘touch’, just ‘feel’. the sensations he gets aren’t his. they go to 60 and asks him if they ever did something bad because RK900 is avoiding them. 60 doesn’t know what to say, really. maybe he was the one to be wrong. 60 stops being 60. says to RK900 that he won’t bother him on this topic and please, please, forget about it and continue having whatever he was having. RK900 ponders about it for a while. his fragile friendship is destroyed. he can’t trust. but the next time he sees them he realizes that yes, he doesn’t think of friendship but something more. is this what 60 was talking about? love? he was jealous the whole time? yes, that, of course. but he was jealous in a romantic way? that shocks him. he’s an awkward mess of a man but they end up together and he’s happy for the first time. he doesn’t really love sex and he’s not used to it but it’s okay, it’s not an important thing in his relationship. probably will write something about him and his s/o and 60 asap. now i’m going to write nsfw and eat chips since this thing’s already 3000 words and tumblr’s crashing.

#DBH #dbh reverse AU #dbh human AU #dbh human connor #dbh human RK900 #dbh human RK800-60 #dbh human RK800 #detroit become human #dbh imagine #RK900 #RK800 #RK800-60 #dbh connor

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kenzieam · 6 years

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Stars and Shadows - Chapter 3 (Ivar and Sera)

Rating: M - Mature

Genre: General, maybe some drama and angst, definitely some romance and smut

@fuckyeahalexhoghandersen-deacti @my-emotional-self @bloodyivar @lupy22 @fortress-fiction @angryschnauzer @ivarinleatherpants @ivars-heathen-army @neonxwitch @dangerousvikings @zpandaqueen @irishhiggins @didiintheblog @mercy1997 @iammarylastar @sparklemichele @son-of-anubis @beltzboys2015-blog @paranoia-love @captstefanbrandt @ivars-valkyrie @magical-mischief-makers

@laketaj24 @ithinkthatsmykink @josthockeythings @pansexualpancakeslife @read-all-day

@chessurkait @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @dina-m16 @cxde-black @lol-haha-joke @sashli @kickbacksnextdoor @part-time-thot @proudcoiler88 @katshitcrazy @romanchronicles @beautifulramblingbrains @hvitserksgirl @theroyalwords @heathensisterwives @charliexowrite @theheathenqueendickubus @jnecrobutcher @dhunhdchrih @sassymcgonagal1651 @dakotamultifandomhoe @laricebabe @im-tired-please-stop

NOT ALL OF MY TAGS ARE WORKING, DM ME IF YOU WANT IN....

*If you want to be added or delete to the above list, let me know*

***************************************************************************************************

This is a new Ivar and Sera AU story, set in modern times. I’m not really sure where I’m going with it yet, or what direction the characters are going to end up going, but I hope you follow with me…..

**************************************************************************************************

I sagged back into the couch, smiling when Ivar pulled me closer. This definitely wasn’t going to be a one-time thing.

We behaved after that, only our thighs touching. Ubbe continued to sneak little glances our way and smiling knowingly. He didn’t seem mad, the opposite in fact, I think he was excited for Ivar and I wondered idly how much Ivar’s love-life or lack thereof was a topic of conversation with him and his brothers. The problems with his legs obviously didn’t extend any higher, but he still struck me as relatively inexperienced. Were girls immediately turned off by his affliction? Or had they never tried to get past his prickly exterior? I’d seen the beginnings of something deeper in Ivar’s eyes, when we’d both been close to coming and his guard was dropped. I tried not to dwell on it too much, but I nonetheless was eager to mine deeper into Ivar’s personality. I recognized walls when I saw them, I had a whole fortification myself.

I had to hide a quiver of glee when Ivar gave up on looking indifferent and slung his arm tentatively over my shoulder.I glanced at him, his bottom lip was trapped in his teeth and he looked.... nervous, for lack of a better word. The self-confidence he’d had only minutes before when he’d stared down Ubbe was gone. I offered him a hesitant smile and scooted a little closer, gently resting my head back against his arm. He flexed his bicep and I grinned, looked sideways at him and sticking out my tongue at his smirk. I felt him exhale long and slow when I dared to rest my hand on his leg and a curious feeling of satisfaction rolled through me, like when I managed to shade a sketch just right, or found the perfect adjective in my short story.

Hvitserk groaned loudly and tossed his controller away, he was getting his ass kicked on screen and was obviously over it. Still sitting cross-legged he pushed himself around, turning to face us. His eyes fell immediately on my hand, then Ivar’s arm over my shoulder and I felt Ivar tense against me. Hvitserk elbowed Ubbe and grinned obnoxiously, ready to make fun of his little brother but Ubbe turned, saw his expression and, before Hvitserk could speak he smacked him in the shoulder.

“Leave them alone,” Ubbe’s gaze flicked to me and he smiled, winked at me like ‘got your back, honey’ then turned back to Hvitserk. “Hey!” He barked, and I jumped as he smacked his blonde brother upside the head. “You lost! Remember the bet!”

That got Hvitserk’s attention. Ivar started to laugh out loud as his jaw dropped and he looked scandalized. “No fucking way!”

Sigurd stood then and joined us. “What’s this?”

Ubbe grinned, smacking Hvitserk again. “Hvitty lost the game, remember that bet we made?”

Sigurd frowned briefly, then his eyes widened. “You wouldn’t!”

“I would.” Ubbe replied confidently. He crossed his arms over his chest. “On with it, little bro.”

Ivar was still snickering and he turned his head towards me, pressed his face into my hair to hide his continued laughter. Sigurd glanced over at us and did a double-take, but whatever Hvitserk was expected to do was shocking enough to keep his attention.

“What’s the bet?” I asked nervously. What did rowdy brothers like this gamble on?

Hvitserk stuck out his bottom lip stubbornly and Ubbe cackled in wicked delight. Ivar bent his elbow against the side of my neck, pulling me closer and leaned down to whisper into my ear.

“The bet was that the loser has to get a ‘crack, back and sack’ wax.” His lips brushed the shell of my ear and I shivered. I’d heard of this, but I’d never met anyone either vain or crazy enough to do it. Hvitserk looked genuinely sick over the prospect and my mouth opened before I could stop it.

“Could I suggest an alternative?” All eyes swivelled to me. Well, I was committed now. “I wax my eyebrows, I could do Hvitserk’s, would that be enough?”

Ubbe frowned, side-eyeing Hvitserk as he considered and scratched his chin thoughtfully. I felt Ivar hold his breath beside me. “Okay. But eyebrows and mustache.”

Sigurd snorted and Ivar turned his face into my hair to stop another snicker.

Shit. I’ve never waxed a mustache before.

Hvitserk debated, but his options were limited and we all knew it. I had no delusions that if he refused, Ubbe, Sigurd, Bjorn, and hell, maybe even Ragnar would quite literally haul him kicking and screaming down to the nearest salon. I got the impression that the Lothbrok boys didn’t fuck around.

“Fine!” Hvitserk snapped, rolling his eyes. He stood, pushing himself upright with an exaggerated huff and turned, walking towards the bathroom I’d fled to. Ubbe stood as well, choking back a howl of laughter and reached for my hand, pulling me to my feet before following. I paused, waiting for Ivar before joining the others. Hvitserk was seated on the closed toilet lid, arms crossed over his chest. Ubbe danced like a manic leprechaun around him, brandishing what I recognized as a box of home waxing strips. I wondered briefly why a bunch of men would have such a product on hand but decided not to pursue it. Ivar moved over and sat on the edge of the bathtub while Sigurd leaned against the closed door. I took the box from Ubbe and pushed him away, where he joined Ivar, grinning gleefully.

Hvitserk eyed me warily as stepped between his legs and gently cupped his face, tilting his head back. I tentatively ran my thumbs across his eyebrows, searching for his natural line and shape to use. I smiled in what I hoped was sympathy as I rubbed a strip between my hands to warm it, then cut it to shape.

“I’ll go fast, it won’t hurt too bad,” I murmured, smoothing down the first strip. Hvitserk grunted in response.

I debated counting, but decided to just go for it. Holding the skin taut I pulled the strip off sharply then pressed my finger to the offended flesh as Hvitserk squawked in surprise and pain. His brothers roared in amusement, Ubbe nearly falling backwards into the tub as I stammered an apology. I tried not to giggle at the wounded look in his eyes as I smoothed the second strip down. Yank. Another squawk. This time Hvitserk’s hands flew up and grabbed my waist. He seemed as surprised as me to find them there and glanced over at Ivar. I felt a shiver at the hostile expression on Ivar’s face and Hvitserk dropped his hands hurriedly. The look had said, clear as day, mine.

I swallowed hard as I smoothed the first strip over Hvitserk’s top lip. I doubted this would hurt any less than his eyebrows. “Sorry,” I murmured quietly, closing my eyes and pulling sharply. Hvitserk hissed, spitting a curse, which only delighted his brothers more. I opened my eyes, wincing in sympathy. I waited until Hvitserk nodded at me, tensing in preparation. “Okay, last one.” Rip.

“Motherfucker!” Hvitserk snarled, pressing his hand to his top lip and glaring daggers at his howling siblings. Ivar and Ubbe were now leaning against each other to keep from literally falling over, laughing like hyenas and Sigurd had a hip against the vanity, hand pressed to his mouth, red-faced with effort not to join in with the roaring.

I dabbed azulene oil over the reddened skin before stepping back. Ivar reached over for me and pulled me down onto his lap. He and Ubbe were seated so close I ended up half-sitting on Ubbe’s as well and I couldn’t stop a giggle as they continued to roar and Hvitserk started to pout.

He looked ready to launch himself at either Ubbe or Ivar, regardless of me sitting in the damage path and I squirmed, trying to escape before shit got real but Ivar only tightened his arms around me, pulling me closer.

Suddenly the door flew open, Ragnar holding the knob, his forehead was furrowed in question and I realized that we had probably been loud enough for the entire house to hear.

“What’s going on in here, kinder?” He asked, eyes darting between us, fighting a smile. He didn’t look angry and when his gaze landed on me, perched in Ivar’s lap with his arm holding me against his chest surprise flickered across his face. His eyes immediately moved to Ivar’s and a genuine smile pulled at his lips. His gaze dropped back down to me and I felt a happy little buzz inside at the warmth I saw there. After a moment he looked over to Hvitserk and did a double take before starting to laugh just as hard as Ubbe and Ivar had.

“Wha.... what the.... hell did you do?” He managed to choke out. Pressing his fist to his mouth he fought to control his laughter and understanding flashed in his eyes. “You lost a bet!”

That started his sons laughing all over again and made Hvitserk pout harder.

Sigurd recovered the quickest. “It was supposed to be a ‘crack, back and sack’ wax but Ubbe let the big baby off easy.”

Mischief danced in Ragnar’s eyes and he turned his dazzling smile back to me. “Well, thank you for not subjecting poor Sera to that, I raised partial gentlemen anyway.” He winked at me. “Any more aesthetician work for Sera tonight? A few of you could use a haircut.” He moved to leave, “go play video games like normal people, yah losers.”

***************************************************************************************************************************************************** Not long after that Harald had called down for me, they were ready to leave. The brothers had shamed me into playing but Ivar had pulled the controller away from me, shaking his head, within a few minutes of watching me thrash about.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding, you can’t play.” He’d teased.

Ragnar must have gushed about Ivar and I when he’d gone back upstairs, for I couldn’t help but notice all the parents watching Ivar and I with keen eyes as we joined them. Harald had a small grin on his face as he’d held out my jacket for me, and his eyes had flicked to Ragnar’s for a moment, but I didn’t know him well enough to decipher the look he gave him.

Aslaug had had eyes mainly for Ivar, but she would glance at me occasionally too. I could only describe the look in her eyes as pure motherly pride and relief, as if she’d been worried about her youngest son and it warmed her heart to see him show me attention. Her parting embrace was tighter than I expected and I heard her sniff as if holding back tears.

Ivar wasn’t blind, he’d noticed this as well and I was both disappointed and relieved when he only nodded goodbye, reminding me of our ride-sharing for school Monday morning. His brother’s had elbowed each other with mischievous smiles, but nobody called us out.

In the vehicle, I’d noticed Harald glancing at me in the rear-view mirror, a warm little smile on his face.

***************************************************************************************************************************************************** Right at 8 am Monday morning a black car pulled into the driveway. I’d been standing uncomfortably on the front step, waiting. I’d never gone to a school with a uniform and I felt awkward dressed up this way. The girls uniform was a knee-length navy-blue pleated skirt and white oxford shirt with the school crest on the breast pocket; short-sleeved or long-sleeved depending on the season. Over that went either a navy-blue blazer or cardigan, with white knee socks and low-heeled penny loafers. The school’s handout stressed ‘basic makeup, natural hair and modest, tasteful jewellery’. The boy’s was basically the same, with laced loafers and navy-blue chinos instead. I questioned how the Lothbrok’s penchant for long-hair flew there.

I’d wondered if Ivar would be driving, based on his legs, but my question was answered when the back window rolled down and I saw his flawless grin.

“Get it, loser!” He hollered.

The driver met me at the rear door, startling me. I’d never had a driver or someone open the door for me like this before and my cheeks coloured faintly as I stammered.

“Thank you.... uh, I’m Sera.”

“You’re welcome, Miss. My name is Edward.” His smile was friendly and slightly amused at my discomfiture.

I slid into the back seat gratefully, sighing. Ivar scooted closer immediately, his knee bumping mine. Before I could speak he pulled me into his arms, a faint purr in his chest. This surprised me; sure, we’d been naughty on the couch together two nights before, but I hadn’t expected affection like this right away, I didn’t even understand what we were yet.

Ivar sensed my surprise and chuckled self-consciously, letting go and settling back. He didn’t move on the seat however, and our knees stayed touching. “Sorry,” he murmured, “I missed you.”

I felt a little flutter in my chest. He’d missed me? I’d burrowed into his heart already? I realized that I’d missed him too.

“I was hoping to see you yesterday,” he continued.

“My aunt came by, she was on her way to a spiritual retreat. She stayed for a few hours, it was great to see her again.”

I wasn’t sure how much Harald had revealed to the Lothbroks about me, but he must have covered the basics. “The aunt you lived with for awhile? When your mother was getting help?”

“Yeah.”

Ivar nodded, looking suddenly nervous. I decided to change the subject.

“So, are we in the same classes?”

Ivar nodded again, seeming to relax. “Yeah, I think you have a few different from me, but not until the afternoon.”

Now I was the nervous one. “I’ve never been good at math,” I confessed. “Or physics. I prefer English and Biology, History too.”

Ivar smiled widely and I felt something turn over in my chest. “I’m the opposite. Writing and memorizing dates totally messes me up, but I love math.... we’ll have to tutor each other.” His eyes gleamed with faint mischief and I couldn’t stop an answering grin.

The school was what I expected from a private institute that employed uniforms and stressed a ‘basic and tasteful’ appearance. Colossal and at least 150 years old the building dominated the well-kept grounds. Parking lots were filled with new and streamlined luxury cars and, for someone who’d grown up without, I could smell the money from here. The driver pulled up to the main entrance where we joined a plethora of others also being chauffeured and I was relieved that we wouldn’t stick out too badly; anonymity was the new kid’s best friend. A few curious glances fell my way as Ivar and I walked to the main doors, but I sensed that they had less to do with me and more to do with Ivar. People seemed surprised, for lack of a better word, that he was walking with someone; surely Ivar had never lacked friends or girlfriends? Although I felt the beginnings of a sibling bond with the eldest Lothbroks there was no denying they were all sex on legs, and Ivar seemed no different, no pun intended. I realized I barely knew anything about the young man who’d made me writhe on his couch as he’d finger-fucked me so deliciously and I was curious to learn more.

Even the secretary at the main office looked surprised when Ivar brought me there for a copy of my schedule. Ivar’s answers to her were short and to the point and as the day progressed I saw that he spoke to everyone like that. There was little warmth or friendliness in any of his interactions. The only time he seemed to light up was with me, and the tangle of emotions it stirred in my chest felt like butterflies.

Ivar’s intelligence floored me as well. In math and physics, where every word sounded like a foreign language Ivar shone, answering the teacher’s inquiries, solving the blackboard problems before anyone else had even finished copying into their notebooks. Here, in what was obviously his element I detected more of the warmth he shone on me; and I saw that he was enjoying himself, enjoying the challenges that were huge mountains to us and mere molehills to him. He returned to his almost sullen front when we reached History, and while I soaked up the dates and events the teacher read out I saw Ivar fidgeting beside me. We were seated at tables, and I was therefore close enough to reach under and rest my hand briefly on Ivar’s leg. He stilled instantly and glanced at me, settling back with a sigh when I mouthed ‘pay attention, loser’.

The only class we didn’t share was last period. Ivar had Advanced Calculus, as if, and I was enrolled in an additional Biology course. As we reluctantly parted before the bell Ivar leaned down and murmured that he would meet me at the half-wall just outside the front doors, where the car would pick us up at 3:45. His hand lingered on mine before pulling away and he turned without looking back. I couldn’t help but notice more than one pair of eyes appraising me as I watched him walk away.

“You’re with Ivar Lothbrok?” A female voice poked into my thoughts as I skimmed the class syllabus the teacher had handed out for us to read while he stepped out to take a phone call.

I looked up to see a trust-fund blonde eyeing me. She was pushing the natural makeup standard, and her hair was teased into shampoo commercial waves. Small but pricey diamonds winked in her ears. I had a good eye for spatial dimensions and noticed covertly that she’d managed to trim at least an inch off her skirt without head office knowing, that or her family paid enough ‘donations’ to the school to grant her leeway. I recognized a Queen Bee and my spidey-sense tingled.

“He’s a friend.” I replied neutrally. I knew from my aunt’s psychobabble that I tended to block out people and become easily defensive, so I fought to not snap at her, in case I had read her wrong.

“Oh. You do look a little plain to be a Lothbrok girl.” Nope, hadn’t read Princess wrong. I clamped down on the impulse to breath fire at her; today was my first day, I should wait a week at least before challenging the school aristocracy. My smile was perfunctory and the teacher saved me a response by re-entering the room and launching directly into a lecture.

I managed to ignore Queen Bee for the rest of class, and she seemed content to whisper amongst a small group of her worker bees, girls wearing pendants and earrings that probably cost more than a month of my dad’s wages, with equally teased hair and grooming and my ears burned. I knew they were talking about me and Ivar, but why? Was this simple female cattiness? Or was it a territory dispute? Had Queenie been eyeing Ivar up as a notch on her social ladder?

The bell rang and I stood gratefully, hustling from the room, more eager than I was ready to admit to be near Ivar again. It was only 3:30, but I nowhere else I needed to be, so after a quick bathroom stop I headed outside, not able to stop a smile when I spotted Ivar sitting on the half-wall already.

My elective class ran 15 minutes longer than the rest of the school, and so I missed the crush of students leaving for the day. Only a few, like me and Ivar, attending additional courses were still here, waiting for rides or talking in small groups as they waited for the late bus. Ivar saw me approaching and smiled widely, releasing the last of the tension Queen Bee had hit me with and I hurried eagerly to his side.

He surprised me with a peck on the cheek and I realized suddenly that, for all of our couch explorations, we’d yet to kiss each other on the lips. I would need to rectify that. Ivar sat back, hands gripping my forearms gently.

“How was your last class?”

I couldn’t stop a grimace. “Good except for-”

“Ivar!” Buzz buzz.

I was both relieved and slightly smug that Ivar, rather than letting go of me, instead turned me around to press my back to his chest and pulled me tight to him, his arms caged around me. “Sutton.” He replied, voice flat.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Hair flip. I itched to just grab a handful and use her as a maypole.

Ivar’s arms tightened further, and I felt the tension in his muscles. “Sutton, this is Sera Madsen. Sera, meet Sutton Quinn.” Rich girl, rich girl name.

Sutton beamed at Ivar, pointedly ignoring me. “New girlfriend?” Jesus, Slutton didn’t beat around the bush.

I couldn’t stop an involuntary tensing of my shoulders. We hadn’t talked yet about what we were, I had no idea what Ivar saw me as, what I saw him as.

His head dropped into the crook of my neck possessively, chin resting on my shoulder and although I couldn’t see it, I could feel the scorching heat in his eyes, warning princess to back off. “Yes.”

I saw resentment, anger, disappointment and surprise war in her glittering eyes. Tossing her head like a horse, she sniffed. “Oh, well. Enjoy slumming it.” With that she flounced off, rejoining her hive that waited a few dozen feet away. I turned back towards Ivar when their sharp glances started to cut.

“Am I?” Shit, shut up Sera!

Ivar straightened, looking into my eyes. “Are you what?”

“Your girlfriend?” Still not shutting up!

“Do you want to be?” Ivar murmured, voice a bare whisper. Uncertainty flickered in his supernatural blue eyes.

“Yes,” I whispered, so quietly I wasn’t sure Ivar would be able to even hear me. I dropped my head but felt his fingers on my chin almost instantly, tilting it back up. There was an intensity in his eyes I hadn’t seen before, an urgency in his touch.

“Come here.” He breathed, patting his lap.

I considered declining. Surely straddling Ivar Lothbrok’s lap in front of both god and the Bee Hive would damn my soul to everlasting high school hell, but so what? With a blessed minimum of awkwardness I hooked my knee on the wall beside Ivar and lifted myself up, resting my other leg on the other side of him and settled gently down onto his lap. As I lowered myself Ivar flicked out the back of my skirt, so instead of the extra barrier between us my hot-pink, boy-short covered core landed directly over his chino-clad dick. I startled slightly, not expecting such a direct action but was overcome almost immediately with a familiar heat. Ivar grinned wickedly down at me, biting his bottom lip.

“Ivar!” I hissed. “In front of everyone?” I glanced around wildly. Fortunately, mostly everyone else was gone, and Slutton and her minions, after one last incredulous stare, turned and collectively flounced away.

“I don’t care.”

“You should!” I grappled for something more to say. “Doesn’t this hurt your legs?” I heard the screech of tires and wondered if the Queen Bee’s car was painted pink or just had the vanity plate Princess.

Ivar shook his head, still biting his bottom lip. “Mmmm-mmm, and even if it did, it feels too good to stop.” His hips pumped up slightly, just enough to nudge me and his grin widened. I felt him beginning to harden against me.

“Ivar!”

He leaned forward, breath warm on my face. “Edward texted me, he had a flat tire. He’ll be late. It gives us time.”

“For?” But only an absolute idiot could mistake the gleam in his eye.

“This,” he murmured, a moment before his lips captured mine.

#ivar #ivar x oc #ivar the boneless smut #modern ivar #modern vikings #ivar and sera

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dramallamadingdang · 6 years

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Reply-o-palooza! :)

This is really long because blah blah blah, and it addresses numerous subjects. And some of these go back...*ahem*threeweeks*ahem*...because I’ve been a bad, bad blogger as usual. So these are for *deep breath* @princess-arystal21, @caticalcorrectness, @fuzzyspork, @digitalangels, @kayleigh-83, @holleyberry, @eulaliasims, @dunne-ias, @blackswan-sims, @didilysims, @webluepeace, @twofingerswhiskey, @deedee-sims, @declarations-of-drama, @getmygameon, annnnnnnnnnnd @freezerbunny-sims...

princess-arystal21 replied to your post “YAY, I AM FINISHED WITH MY SECRET SANTA GIFT! …Unless I think of...”

Please keep the discussion about Sims. Your Tumblr looks so much better when you talk about them instead.

“It’s my blog; I’ll put what I want on it,” is the usual reply, I think. And it’s true, too. My blog is probably 97% about Sims because I do prefer it that way, but sometimes I do talk about other, personal things, often silly, sometimes informational, very occasionally serious and real-world. Regardless of subject, if it’s not about Sims, it’s either tagged as “nonsims” or it’s behind a cut. Or both. So, people who use extensions that block tags they want to avoid can easily avoid all of it, if they choose. And when it’s not tagged, then people have to choose to read or not, since it’s behind a cut. I think that’s a reasonable solution when I feel a need to say something not Sims-related. Generally speaking, I won’t censor myself just to make other people happy, not in real life and not on a blog. Down that road lies madness.

fuzzyspork replied to your post “Whenever I type the word “banana,” I pretty much always type at least...”

If it wasn't for spell check I'd still be writing "bananna" which I still do but the red underline tips me off to it. XD Unfortunately spell check doesn't stop me from writing (and just then I just typed wiring...) homonyms of the word I meant to use. :/

Oh, homonyms are EVIL! Especially when using the wrong one makes you look stupid. Like when you use your/you’re or there/their/they’re inappropriately. I KNOW the differences between those words, but sometimes I type the wrong one and don’t catch it until much later. MAKES ME SO MAD! *stamps foot*

digitalangels replied to your post “Whenever I type the word “banana,” I pretty much always type at least...”

For some reason I always type word soul as "sould" and sometimes instead of writing "one" I write "wan". When I was little I struggled with my own name, it ends up in anna and every time someone asked my name I would reply like annannannaa so my grandparents nicknamed me "Nanna" they kept calling me that till they passed away.

I would bet that the “sould” thing comes from your brain thinking that you’re typing a word like “should” or “would” or “could.” I have the same sort of problem when typing a word that ends in “ine” because my brain thinks I must be typing a present participle or a gerund, words that end in -ing. So, “fine” becomes “fing.” “Tangerine” (another color name in the palette I made; I bring this stuff on myself!) becomes “tangering.” Very annoying.

And, ahhhh childhood mispronunciations! When I was a preschooler, I always pronounced “animal” as “aminal.” It’s STILL a family joke. I will NEVER live it down.

kayleigh-83 replied to your post “Whenever I type the word “banana,” I pretty much always type at least...”

I do it while writing by hand sometimes, I always want to write “with” as “withe” for some reason! Unconsciously trying to make it look old timey or something?

Maybe you were Chaucer in a previous life? :) I don’t do these things so much when writing on paper, because I’m much slower at writing on paper. My fingers don’t fly on ahead of my brain like they do when I’m typing at about 100wpm. :)

princess-arystal21 replied to your post “Whenever I type the word “banana,” I pretty much always type at least...”

I often accidentally type "teh" instead of "the," or "atmoshere" instead of "atmosphere," or "footprings" instead of "footprints." Not sure why *scratches head in confusion.*

The “teh” thing is pretty common, I think. I mean, it became lolcat language, after all. :) Or, depending on your age, maybe the lolcat influences your typing. :) The “footpring” thing is probably your brain being stuck on participles/gerunds, too, especially if you generally type fast. I have no explanation for “atmoshere,” though, unless you also mistype other words that use “ph” for f-sounds? :)

caticalcorrectness replied to your post “YAY, I AM FINISHED WITH MY SECRET SANTA GIFT! …Unless I think of...”

Oh thanks for that reply! In fact I didn't know anything about your election, but am mad about these mediastampedes I watched again and again - and people following that without trying to look behind the scenes. - Excuse me to not resist commenting. (oh that sounds weird, apologize for my poor english) - I DO understand you're able to think for yourself and you're not a part of any kind of 'Hexenjagd'.

Yeah, well, I know you’re not American, so I wouldn’t expect you to be up on the inner workings of our bizarre politics. :) But really, I think the problem isn’t the media in general so much as there’s just so much “media” these days, thanks largely to the internet, and some of it has a very definite agenda, which is often, frankly, subversive. (Lookin’ at you, Breitbart! :P) I mean, the press has always had a slant, even when it’s NOT government-controlled. The idea of the press being “unbiased” is silly; it never has been and, frankly, was never meant to be “unbiased.” The idea is that you get your news from various sources, being aware of each one’s bias, and then you use the brain and critical thinking skills that God gave you as well as a dash of common sense to filter out the bullshit (because there is always bullshit) and arrive at the (probable) truth.

The problem is that, more and more, people DON’T use their brains. They get their news from a single source -- one that agrees with their own biases, of course -- and swallow it whole and become part of the echo chamber that parrots and reinforces the unfiltered bullshit on a bunch of like-minded people. It’s quite ridiculous. And then, yes, the Hexenjagd begins. :) Critical thinking seems to have become a lost art these days, but I don’t blame the media. It just does what it does, at least when it’s not government-controlled. *I* blame people who don’t think for themselves and who willingly lock themselves in echo chambers, regardless of the slant of that echo chamber.

holleyberry replied to your post “Whenever I type the word “banana,” I pretty much always type at least...”

bananananananananana batman!

Hah! Well, I was a huge fan of campy Batman when I was a kid... :D

caticalcorrectness replied to your post “Replies!”

Just found your reply. - It's very interesting, because here it seems we germans not only stealing, but USING more and more english words instead of using our own. We're loosing our language bit by bit! - Btw. the french seem to love their own langage way more... but they (so far I know) using the word 'Waldsterben' :)

In truth, all languages borrow from each other. English has always been good at borrowing and incorporating words from other languages. It’s also flexible; it’s easy to create words in English by sticking together prefixes and suffixes in odd combinations that people will still understand. But it goes the other way, too. I mean, I’m pretty sure the word for “telephone,” an American invention -- in pretty much all languages is...well, “telephone,” just spelled phonetically in the local language. A quick glance at Google Translate bears this out, anyway. (Although... What’s up with Finnish? “Puhelin?” WTF? :) ) Of course, "telephone” is ultimately...Greek, I’m pretty sure, so... Well, anyway, English steals words from AND donates words to other languages. All languages do, really.

But yeah, I’m thinking that as the world becomes more interconnected, if English doesn’t just take over completely, eventually a common world language that everyone speaks will develop. I imagine it will be English-based because English -- thanks mostly to British colonialization amplified now by the internet -- is already the lingua franca, but with words borrowed from many languages...or at least from the dominant non-English languages on the planet, so probably Spanish and...transliterated Chinese, maybe? Or perhaps Arabic? I guess we’ll see. :) Anyway, my bet is that eventually there’ll be a “world language” and that people will still speak their own local language amongst themselves. Such as thing only makes sense as the world becomes progressively less insular. Plus, it’s already much that way, with English being the general internet language.

eulaliasims replied to your post “hey, im not sure if you know but the word 'gypsy' is a racial slur...”

I always call her the matchmaker too. Works just as well, or even better considering that it isn't a slur.

dunne-ias replied to your post “hey, im not sure if you know but the word 'gypsy' is a racial slur...”

I think just calling her the matchmaker works well though.

blackswan-sims replied to your post “hey, im not sure if you know but the word 'gypsy' is a racial slur...”

For what it's worth, I just refer to her as "the matchmaker."

Frankly, I don’t refer to the character much at all because she doesn’t really factor much into my game. I don’t use either matchmaking or potions in my normal game-playing, so the only function she serves in my game is dropping off genie lamps. So perhaps I’ll call her “the LDO” from now on: The Lamp-Dropper-Offer. :)

didilysims replied to your photo “What happens when you’re a family of four living in a one-bedroom...”

In the dead of winter no less!

Right? So, that mod that Gummilutt on MTS made that makes it so that Sims don’t freeze/overheat when sleeping tents is a godsend for me. :) I often use tents when families outgrow their houses because it’s often just (relatively) temporary, until some/all of the kids grow up and leave. Unless it’s an age-modded hood that greatly extends the child/teen lifestages, I don’t want to bother with massive remodeling or moving to a larger house which will quickly become an “empty nest,” anyway, since I don’t generally do multi-generational households in my game. So....tents it is when there’s an unexpected overflow! :D (I honestly thought that Sage would never marry, much less have kids! So, he just got a small, one-bedroom house.)

webluepeace replied to your photoset “Finished up this house. Have some interiors. There’s a furnished floor...”

Just curious, are you going to upload a furnished version? Because I really am in love with the interior!!

I don’t generally upload furnished houses because, frankly, I use a lot of Maxis recolors (98% my own) and repositoried sets (and don’t always use the master mesh on the lot) and custom objects of which I have a billion recolors. Maxis recolors don’t get included in lot packages. Neither do master meshes of repositoried sets when you don’t use that mesh on the lot. So for those, you have to hunt through your downloads and include a folder of separate files with the download. That is a time-consuming pain in the ass. And when you include a custom object on a lot, ALL of the recolors you have of that object package with the lot, too. So, for instance, I use Nengi’s rugs on pretty much all lots I build. I have about 200 recolors of those rugs. They all get sucked into lot packages if I include them and I then have to edit the package down to just the recolor(s) I used -- which, again, is time-consuming -- or else I’ll end up with 300MB lot packages full of unrelated object recolors, which I absolutely refuse to sic on downloaders. If I share a lot, I’m conscientious of including only what’s needed for that lot. Mostly because extra stuff pisses me off, when I download a lot from someone else.

That said, I have in the past uploaded a lot that is furnished and has custom meshes and walls/floors and such but that doesn’t include any recolors. So, it’s really ugly when you open it; it serves as a template of sorts to which you can apply your own recolors. If that would interest you, I could upload that house furnished, but you’d still have work to do to make it look exactly as I did it. That work will be easier if you generally download my recolors of things, but it’s not like you can’t do something equally as nice with entirely different recolors. Or maybe with no CC at all, who knows? I suck at CC-free, personally.

twofingerswhiskey replied to your photoset “OK, so the farmhouse I built turned out too big for the household it...”

this reminds me of tino's house in the weekenders!

I have no idea what you’re referring to, so I’ll have to take your word for it. :) And I have to hope that Tino’s house wasn’t an eyesore. :)

princess-arystal21 replied to your photo “What happens when you’re a family of four living in a one-bedroom...”

Reminds me of my first Asian family. Had them living in that tiny house that came with the IKEA expansion, and they ended up having 3 girls and a new floor being built.

Yeah, I rather enjoy cramming large families into small houses. :) I don’t really like playing large houses because the pixels get lost in them and I prefer to keep an eye on them. So, I’d rather cram a bunch of them in small spaces than let them spread out over a large space. They’re pixels; they don’t really care about personal space and privacy. :)

didilysims replied to your photo “Birthin’ time! And it’s another girl. Her name is Samantha.”

I may still call her Coconut. ;)

Thanks to you, that’s what I call her now, too. ;)

princess-arystal21 replied to your post “fuzzyspork replied to your post: I’m looking...”

I have issues with products popping up in weird spots outside the store, rather on the shelves where they belong. Then I find my stock person working way out in the street, or in the side-yards! Can't figure out how to stop that :/.

I can’t say I’ve ever had that issue, myself. But then, I don’t often have stores that sell stuff off shelves, mostly because I don’t like my Sims’ inventories becoming cluttered with a bunch of non-functional decorative crap. So, my owned lots tend to be venues or, if not, are things like salons, clothing stores, restaurants, electronics stores that sell video games and usable handheld devices, and grocery stores. Places that don’t sell useless non-functional crap, in other words. :)

Are you using custom shelves? Perhaps they aren’t really OFB-compatible as far as being used as store shelves, so the restock functions don’t work properly? Or does it happen when you’re using the Maxis shelves, too?

didilysims replied to your post “Does anyone know...?”

Does the owner have to be townified? You could move her out and never play her again and she would retain ownership. Or even stick her in an empty lot in the corner of the map somewhere out of sight if you don't want a cluttered Sim Bin.

Nah, the owner doesn’t HAVE to be townified; I just want them to be. :) I know it doesn’t really make much of a difference in the grand scheme of things. The only real benefit is that when a playable ages up, the townified-playable will show up on the “Sims to age up with this Sim” screen. Non-played playables don’t. So, that’ll make keeping ages in sync a little easier. So I guess for my own purposes it’s really more of a symbolic thing than anything else.

But I do like the idea of the hobby leaders owning lots. Then playables can visit and do the hobby leader interactions and hobby-related stuff without having a membership card (although I think the Visitor Controller can filter by OTH, now that I think about it, which will be useful for this) AND without having to use (or bother with the hassle of making over/replacing) the fugly and often nonsensical Maxis stealth hood hobby lots. I can build better ones, keep them in my lot bin, and have the hobby leaders own them instead. :) Although I still have to test to see if that will work...

fuzzyspork replied to your post “Hey!”

omg I used to do cross stitch! So much so that I was part of a cross stitch forum online. I got rid of all that stuff the last time we moved since it had been about 6 years at that point since I'd picked up a project. Kinda miss it now...

deedee-sims replied to your post “Hey!”

I used to do cross-stitching too!

Oh, yay, fellow stitchers! :) I used to do it A LOT, and I’m having such fun with finishing this old project that I’ve ordered another little kit online, as a little XMas gift to myself. I don’t think it’ll consume me like it once did, but it’s fun to do when I don’t feel like...oh...Simming or doing Sims-related things.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Pierre the Maid Dude earns his pay.”

I wish we had small terrariums in TS3 like this :)

Yeah, the ones in TS3 are kind of big, aren’t they? :\ I don’t know if that one has been/could be converted for 3 and still be functional rather than just deco, but it might be worth it to look? It’s basically the standard TS2 womrat cage without the stand, and it can be placed on any surface.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Emmy popped with Vacation Baby. And then chilled in front of the nice...”

That's a lovely lounge! So many plants!

I have a tendency to overdecorate with plants. (And mirrors, being the child of the 70s that I am.) I think it’s because in real life I can’t keep plants. I like them, but I forget about them and kill them and then I feel terrible. So, most of the plants in my house are fake, the only exception being culinary herbs (including marijuana because it’s legal where I live) and giant aloe plants because they serve a purpose. (Respectively: I eat them and have an unfortunate tendency to accidentally burn myself. And I’ll also eat aloe -- and other cacti -- for that matter.) So, yeah, lots of plants in my Sims houses, where they can be pretty and I can’t kill them. :)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset “Random captured pics from Sage and Emmy’s Twikii Island honeymoon. 4...”

This makes me miss TS2 so bad! I used to love that charleton dude lol

YOU SHOULD PLAY IT! TS2 IS THE BEST! ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

Nah, I kid. :) TS2 is my main squeeze, sure -- and IMO its remaining online community is the best -- but I do cheat with TS3 on occasion. I have no interest in TS4, though...

eulaliasims replied to your photoset “It was time for the twins to teenify. I decided that Allison needed...”

That hair looks really good on Allison!

Yeah, I thought so! I’m always leery of using dreads on my Sims because frankly, while many of them are dark-skinned, none of them really look “classically black,” if you know what I mean, since I use just slightly altered Maxis face templates. And while in my head my Sims world doesn’t have a concept of races of people, the online community is touchy on the subject and I’m not looking for drama. So, I weighed things in my head and eventually went, “Screw it. That hair looks better on her than any other style I have, so it’s what she’s getting.”

kayleigh-83 replied to your photo “And the penguin showed up to have a chat with the twins’ snowperson...”

My penguin almost exclusively has conversations about mathematical formulae. He’s a really well educated fellow and Plumbbob knows he won’t get intelligent discourse out of my Sims!

Maybe penguins are like Douglas Adams’s dolphins, with a comprehensive knowledge of quantum physics. :) So, if the penguins all suddenly leave the planet with a “So long, and thanks for all the fish” in penguin language, perhaps we’d do well to follow them. ;)

getmygameon replied to your photo “And the penguin showed up to have a chat with the twins’ snowperson...”

Gotta love those random wtf speech bubbles 'Did I tell you the time I found a stale croissant. STALE! humans can't cook worth a damn I tell you! How do they survive ?!"

The penguins often have either very profound or very silly conversations. Both are signs of high intelligence, so there we go... :)

freezerbunny-sims replied to your photoset “I finished up the restaurant in GilsCarburg that will eventually be...”

The gallery looks so cozy and it actually reminds me of some restaurants in the beach towns of my province.

Oh, that’s good to hear, thank you! Because GilsCarburg is supposed to be a “beachy” community. Not in the tropical/Caribbean sense, though. More like a temperate “Northeastern US/New England” sort of “beachy,” the kind of place that people go to on summer weekends to lay on beaches like landed whales in order to escape the heat in nearby large cities. I fear I haven’t generally succeeded at that “feel,” though...because I often forget that that’s what I’m going for. So, it’s good when I (accidentally) do something right. :)

holleyberry replied to your photo “And then it was Gwen’s turn to age up. No party and no retirement for...”

Congrats on this accomplishment! It makes me want to go start a legacy.

I never really have success with standard legacies, at least not in the sense of just playing one subset (the “heirs”) of one family. That’s rather boring, to me. But I DO play whole neighborhoods for as long as I can, with multiple families over many generations. So I guess in that sense I DO play legacies. Legacies on steroids. And crack. Lots of crack.

didilysims replied to your photo “Cherry retired from firefighting. Luckily, they won’t be relying on...”

Ha ha, good to see she saved up for her old age! What was her job that pays such peanuts?

:D She was in the NPC firefighter career from the set of NPC careers that I have, which I guess were originally designed to be given to married-in NPCs in the various service careers. They are much less lucrative than the standard careers. The level one jobs all pay $50 a day. And since Cherry never rolled any wants for any skill points, ever, she never advanced past Level 1. Hence, her gigantic pension. :)

#princess-arystal21 #caticalcorrectness #fuzzyspork #digitalangels #kayleigh-83 #holleyberry #eulaliasims #dunne-ias #blackswan-sims #didilysims #webluepeace #twofingerswhiskey #deedee-sims #declarations-of-drama #getmygameon #freezerbunny-sims #replies

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survivor-kuwait · 5 years

Text

Episode 2 - “The pair thing doesn’t leave much room for dRaMa and I want DrAmA” - Madison

Ok, so I'm going to recap everything I experienced during this scramble as there is a lot to cover. Willow and I lost the tik tok challenge by 2 points which sucks so we have to go to the warzone now. The warzone is kinda cool. I get to talk to more than just willow which is cool. Everyone seems to like each other and for the longest time no one had a name. Sadly, Brandon shot himself in the foot and was voted out by everyone because he never spoke a word to anyone. I kinda feel bad for the guy but you know, atleast Brandon has 100% voting accuracy. That's kinda hard especially in survivor. I also forgot to mention that I have hit 2 spaces on the Battleship grid so hopefully I get an idol or advantage soon!

youtube

Tribal went accordingg to plan;BDC went in a 12-0 vote 😧 I hate first tribal nerves. But its over and Im good. I think i made good connections with people. Made stronger connection with Madison. We both love Dumbo 🐘. I got to talk more with Stephen and Matt so i think those are bonds i could use later on in the game or if I find myself in the warzone with them again. Cullan and Ian were pretty good and nice people. I got along with Ian a lot. Willow was a nice person, we just didnt get to talk a lot today cuz she had 2 finals today. I didnt get to talk with jacob or doodle. (But i already had Jacob as a friend so he is someone who i played with before but dont remember. Oop 🤭) overall iI think warzone this round was a positive thing.

i'm shook that we were safe from the tik tok immunity. i'm even more shook that we got second????????? in it. like what??? i literally was editing the video with like 4 (four) minutes to spare because my idiot ass partner decided last second to tell me that he wasn't able to edit it and tik tok wasn't loading on his phone. like? when were you planning on telling me this information..... anyways we won, so i guess i can't be too upset with him. warzone thing is dumb, unfortunately i was a part of another season monty hosted that has this twist and got screwed over by it hardcore, so shrug. i'm assuming the same thing will happen this time around because of how new all of these people are. i know barely any of them and i'm just gonna assume for the most part they know each other or are at least aware of each other whereas i'm like i know owen and stevie??? it's just one massive eyeroll. gonna just try to focus on not going to tribal though. if we did i would have zero issues voting tommy out. he's zzzzzzzzzzzz. first night of the game i like offered to call while we figure out who to vote, tried to get to know him, etc. he gave minimum effort, didn't want to call, didn't ask me anything about me or make any attempt to get to know me. so i have zero attachment to him which sucks because i feel like for the most part people are going to stick with their assigned sign partner. idk if it's just because he hasn't played a game outside of fb before and they all suck or what but girrrrrl he needs to step it up. i've been working on this puzzle for a minute. for a while i couldn't beat like 2:20~ but randomly got 1:43 and am gonna hope that that's a competitive score, at least good enough to keep us out of the bottom. tommy sucks and can hardly break 2 minutes after being very up front that WE ARE WINNING THIS. i told him i think my score is easily attainable so that he'd try more LMAO because i really don't wanna lose this early. i think my outlook on the game would be so much different had i not gotten stuck with a stale ass plank of wood for a partner.

I really hope Renne and I could atleast be in the top 6 and be immune. But being in in the top three would be cool only because we would see guardians of the galaxy. I got 2:27 and Renee around 2:46 i believe so we should be okay unless these people are monsters at puzzles.

Look I was going to try to do video confessions every time for this game but sometimes you look so bad the Face ID on your laptop doesn't even recognize you as yourself...and that's literally me right now. So text it is! Hey! I'm having a gr8 time. Such a fun game! To recap last round, I had SUCH a good TikTok plan and then Jacob and I are illiterate and didn't realize when the videos were due, so we lost. BUT I think that was a blessing, because we got to talk to people outside of our sign pair, which was really beneficial. At least for me it was. Talking to Renee, Ian, and Maynor was great, and I think I'd be down to work with any of them later on. Stephen potentially too, but he still scares me. Too much history lmao. Tribal was the easiest ever but I can already tell this is gonna be like Mongolia and Hogsmeade where NO ONE talks about the vote until the hour before, which is exciting, but also very stressful. I'm ready to be in a chat with more people in it though. The pair thing doesn't leave much room for dRaMa and I want DrAmA.

We F*CKEN tied!! I just saw the scores and we only got 6th because I got a faster individual time than the 2 Tauros. I’m so happy that me and Renee could take a breather even if it is for one day. I really like Renee and I’d be down to work with her all the way to the end. Hopefully she feels the same way cuz we could be dangerous together.

Ya boy just found the fucking Topaz Idol, suck it bitches! This is the first idol I have legitimately found, I get nervous about having advantages though, I don't want to waste them which has lead me to be voted of with an advantage in my pocket before. I can use this idol to turn votes against me into votes for whoever I want which is beautiful, I hope to genuinely fuck somebody's day up with this! However, if I've found one already, you can bet your ass somebody else has found something as well. Let's see whose dick is bigger, whoever you are.

So far this game has been interesting. When it started I was SHOOK by the 12 tribes of 2. Definitely thought it was going to be interesting and potentially scary navigating how people get voted out. Then the first round was voting off a team right in the beginning just based on who is on it pretty much. When that team ended up being Nehe and Chips I was PUMPED because from a previous game Nehe and I did not leave things on the best of terms. Then one of them gets to come back. And it's Nehe. Great. I did not want to let that bother me much so I figured I would worry more about it when the time came to worry about it. Then the next immunity challenge happened and i truly did not think Owen and i would do so well because I am not normally good at these things and i am shook that we won. Owen's editing ideas were what saved us I think. So not only were we safe for that round, we also get to go to the oasis! And who else but Nehe is there too. I was initially dreading it because I wasn't sure how the conversation was going to go. When we did end up talking he said that he has calmed down, matured a bit, and wants to put things behind us and move forward. I still am not sure if I believe it or not, or at least to what extent I believe it. There is always going to be the thought that he could be playing me due to our history. It's hard not to bring things from the past and carry them in the present and let it effect relationships with people. Seeing Kait in this game I was initially a little worried because I don't know what that working relationship is like. I haven't played a game with Kait in a long time but I do not know where we stand as far as working together. It will be hard to navigate but the reunion was nice to have. Another thing that is worrying me is Owen. Right now we are working well together in the challenges, I haven't had any problems with Owen in the past that I can remember, and we generally respect each other's existence I think? Idk I am just not sure what the relationship is between us two. We also don't really talk much being on this tribe together and I don't know if that's because we are kinda solid and we don't need to do the initial meeting each other and talking to build a relationship, or if because we are both content with how things are running and waiting for circumstances to change to actually start playing the game. It is hard with these teams of 2 as tribes trying to navigate how to play. With that being said, i also am unsure about what I should be doing in the oasis. I have been chatting lightly with people but I think it is too early to be strategizing with them. I don't want to play too hard and there is the possibility of not going to tribal council with these people for a while so the connections might not be worth my while to make. I am just unsure if I am being left in the dark about strategy this early on, or if I am getting paranoid over nothing because it is still a bit too early in the game for people to strategize with this game structure. Time will tell and I hope Owen and I keep winning while the game is still like this

I am voting for Matt today. All of my decisions are arbitrary until this twist ends because nothing really has weight yet at all. Also, I feel like I can definitely trust the people who voted last time because there is little incentive to betray because the voting pool is so volatile. I expect relatively straightforward votes until we actually start playing Survivor. Ready for the casting portion to end.

I’m feeling pretty good currently! Being like just safe in the middle is exactly where I wanted to be in this game, although it js a little awkward not really being able to strategize right now. I feel like I’m really good with Adrian though and in a place that we can move forward as a pair. I really just wanna make sure I make the merge or til a swap or something because I’m really ready to do well in this game. But I wouldn’t trade safety in this game for anything at this point.

Hey! So, we lost the challenge again which sucks. Willow isn’t the greatest at jigsaw puzzles, but that is ok. Is losing a bunch is making us less of a threat and giving us more social connections with the rest of the game. I got the legacy advantage last night which is awesome. No one knows I have it and I’m not going to tell a damn soul about it. I heard Matt’s name thrown out so I’m going to see if that’s what everyone’s down to do. Everyone seems to like me which is great so hopefully my charm keeps me around for a while. Me not showing excellent challenge performance is also a bonus. I’m getting weird vibes from Nehe. He talks a lot which is why I tried voting him out the first time. He’s too fucking like able so I know he’ll be tough to get rid of. People need to learn to take their hearts out of the game eventually and learn to vote someone out even if they love having the person around. The longer he lives, the harder he will be to kill.

It has been good not having to stress over tribal today. I just hope that Matt B isnt going or anyone else that I talked to in the last warzone cuz they were cool and would like to have the possibility of working with them later on in the game. Update on idol search. I guess M4 and it was a hit and ive been trying to going around it but so far it has been 2 misses so far. I have M3 and N4 left so i hope that tonights guess at 10:05pm is a hit because this is the closest Ive been to finding something in these searches. I hope its something good for my game. I just hope no one has found this ship yet.

Well, another day another dollar I guess. I was really nervous that Timmy and I weren't going to do well in the puzzle challenge because puzzles aren't my strongest challenges, but we were able to pull it out once again and save ourselves. I am starting to get a little nervous about consistently getting 4th or 5th because we are still some of the only players in the game who have not talked to anyone but ourselves. Hopefully we are still early enough in the game that we can make connections with people down the line, but the more time I waste just sitting around the more nervous it makes me. I would never throw a challenge because lord knows that I love having immunity, but if we don't place in the top 3 for the next challenge we're gonna have to figure something out. Timmy is great but you can't win this game just by having one friend and one friend only.

So I had thought that the people from last round would stick together, but apparently some people are voting for Matt? I dont mind much, I’m taking a Sandra-esque “I’m happy to vote whoever as long as it aint me approach.” Might stop me over strategising

- - - - -

All that stuff about being Sandra this season? forget it. I’m back on my bullshit. Nehe wants an alliance with me, doodle, corey, and devon. But apart from Nehe I have barely talked to any of those guys. So im gonna try and make a counter alliance of Me Matt Ian Chloe Willow and maybe Cullan? If I tell them whats going on they might join me and vote out Nehe, or maybe doodles the better play?

- - - - -

Nevermind the nevermind all these people are like “Oh? A counter alliance to protect myself from an alliance without me? Nah i’m good, getting voted out is fun!” So screw them Im voting matt, see ya suckers.

Hello Did I mention last time that I’m ready for this weird twist to be over and for us to be normal tribes? Either way it felt nice to win and I’m glad I don’t have to go back to that warzone, but at the same time, I worry if we stay out of it too long we won’t have made any allies or friends through a tribal and that could be dangerous moving forward to a swap, maybe if we stay as signs for much longer I’ll mention that to maynor and see how he feels about throwing one hm

Top six is great top three is better but like....I have a feeling it’s the wrong six to be in rn. Those bottom six get to talk and strategize. None of that happens here in the oasis zzzzz I was thankful to get to talk to Kait twice that part was rlly good. Nehe and I had a little bit of a talk. Thomas is SO BORING ATO TALK TO tho hsjshdjd I was excited to meet someone new but omfg. He was like ‘I study math’ and I was like ‘omg I could never’ and he was like ‘well I can !’ PLS LOL So I’m kind of dying here but maybe it’s better to be safe. I’m just scared the game is moving without me. Idk I guess it’s early for that.

I think I forgot to write a confessional this round so far so...WHY DO WE ALWAYS GET 4th!! I know it’s only been 2 challenges but still. I usually hate social games but I’m dying to talk to at least someone who isn’t trace. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great, but this game is so boring so far just because I can’t talk to anyone. That’s really going to screw me over in the long run. At least if you fuck up in challenges you get to talk to people. It’ll make it easier for me to get voted off since I’ll have no connections so I’ll need to work my ass off if that time comes. Fuck.

fuck these bitches. to start off, i lost immunity by less than 2 seconds which SUCKS. thought i had a decent time but i guess not Back in the warzone, theres a few people i was here with last time, including Ian, Stephen and Cullan which is nice. Willow and Chloe are back too, but we didnt speak last time so i made sure we spoke more frequently this time. Basically a group of Devon, Taylor, Corey and Nehe. Stephen W let me know this was going on and he didnt want it to happen. So i started putting forth effort into targeting taylor, but then it made more sense to go for nehe because he is also the other solo in this game. Now on PAPER it would make sense for me and Nehe to work together and have each other's back but clearly he doesnt care lol. So i focused my attention to the people that seem like they really do wanna keep me (Stephen, Ian, Cullan, Willow, and Chloe). I made my rounds, multiple rounds tbh and tried to make my best sales pitch to them. Stephen, Cullan, Ian seem all 100 with me and im like 60% sure willow wants to keep me, but her responses are so delayed that i cant really get a good read. Chloe is the biggest question mark for me just because its late for her and shes starting another org and has assignments to work on. I want to believe that she would keep me because i expressed a lot of interest in working with her in this game. As of now its 9:40pm which means 20 mins till my fate is determined. I would like to think the 6 person group i got together can stick with me and keep me in the game, but i really dont know anymore. I wouldnt be shocked if i left 9-1 tbh. these people dont wanna play the game this early or work with me when i can easily be an extra number for any pair in this game. I hope to god i stay because its been such a different experience and a new world for orgs, and i wanna stay and fight. so fingers crossed i guess

It is 10 minutes to tribal and im nervous to see what happens. This 2 person tribe twist is really weird. I want to more people. I just hope is someone i havent really talked to. Hopefully the next challenge is something that me and Renee can be good at.

Okay so we formed an alliance named The Pact which is basically a temporary alliance for warzone where the trick is to throw immunity, go there together, and get someone who isn't us, outta the game. It was created by Nehe and involves him, taylor, stephen, devon and I. Am I honestly going to THROW IMMUNITY? idk. I don't trust taylor whole heartedly But I would like to work w him for some time. I have had info coming back to me making it seem as though he genuinely likes me so! kfnskdlgdslk anyways. Tonight, the vote is matt. I am terrified if it isn't. xoxo, gossip girl.

Behind the scenes of the vote last round that sent Matt packing, I was informed by Stephen that Doodle(Taylor) has been making alliances all over town. That lets me know he is not a long term pro Ian player, conversely Stephen has won a lot of my favor. I took that knowledge to Willow, as someone else that is supposed to be "working with" Doodle ka boodle I felt that she needed to be "generally aware". I wish I would have also shared with Devon that knowledge but I didn't. Doodle can think he is running the Warzone, I'll be quietly letting people know exactly what he is. A fake. A fraud. A man building himself up to be burnt and burnt bad. I knew what he was from the moment he pm'd me with "omg lets be long term allies I hate tiktok too", buddy you can do the heavy lifting for now, I'll vote you out the second you stop playing in MY interest. The trap I think so many TS players fall into is that they begin to think they're playing a single player game, you're not the only one with friends.

#survivorstarzone #episodes

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ourenjiro · 7 years

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all right kiddos im gonna make a longass post abt some thoughts and spoiler alert: it's a lot of dumb feelings lmao

pls look away!!

honestly my head's just a big mess right now and i dont even know where to begin untangling it. i thought telling the s/o would help but?? i bet i just came off whiny even when he said it was ok and that he wanted to listen....and i probably just made his opinion of me even worse oops

where do i start tho?? do i go back to the dawn of time(tm) where i first realized i was a terrible person who couldnt relate with other people? or that time i tried and failed horrendously because SURPRISE my people skills were(are) severely lacking and college was never just about a couple of party games, roleplay forums, and good grades? or like...in general, that i cant make lasting friendships because i have about 18291239218 personas and even i have trouble switching thru them lmao

it's not that i'm completely closed off. i just... i just have trouble being myself to more than one person. i hate having too many strings that could potentially (probably) choke me one day. it's easier when you're simply known as the funny person, or the artist, or the one girl who's really good at video games but terrible at holding her alcohol. it's already hard enough trying to combine all these different aspects of me to face a constant group of people which, as far as i know, have had enough of shit in their lives and they've already gone thru enough drama to build a lasting friendship amongst themselves and just WHO IS THIS GIRL who thinks she's important or interesting enough to throw a wrench into that, and i hate it. it's frustrating. because i KNOW they dont think that about me but i just cant help telling myself that they do and it makes this whole friendship thing even hardeR

i'm mature enough to understand that they don't have to know me. they're not obligated to. the way i deal with things requires that i dont get too close for an easy escape, and it's my loss if that forever ruins my chance at making friends.

but that's just it. i'm...self aware and i want to change. i DO want to put myself out there. even if it's mostly for the selfish desire to talk about myself more (i have a lot of shenanigans from college especially that i'm proud of, but looking back-- i've never talked about them because the group of people i experienced those memories with are those i've long cut out from my life and it's really pathetic. im pathetic). im a jealous angry wreck who has no friends, bonjour

recently i've tried reconnecting with someone i was super close to but even if we're talking now and things are civil, it's not the same?? and i was expecting that tbh. i cant expect things to just...go back to the way they were. i left and never came back and they never so much as reached out to me and it's been 3 years and we've all moved on. and though it hurts to find out that they've still been hanging out to keep the friendship alive and i was...never once invited to start over... i'm done with it. it's fine. i'm fine. why worry about shit like that, honestly.

(and sometimes i still think about michelle. about how close we were and about how she was the one i considered my best friend. she knew me the most. i miss her the most. but goddamn she's still the worst person i've ever met back then and i fucking hate her with every fiber of my being, and she never once deserved my attention or my friendship or my love and hNNGNGHNG)

i'm late for work rip

introspection is such a load of bullshit. i look back only to find that i've tiptoed through most of my life and have nothing for it except that time i totally shattered my own carefully-laid defences for the sake of one person and now i have...glass shards cutting into my feet. terrible analogy. delete this.

but that's mostly how it is. i'm happy and proud of where i am now. i'm an actual comic artist (my dream job) and i'm earning enough for myself. i dont have to deal with relatives and people i don't like. i have a potential squad i can call mine, my relationship with my family is ok....and i'm in a relationship with a person who's amazing and talented and all kinds of wonderful and, best of all, loves me back. i'm in a place that i'm ok with, and i guess now's just one of those days where i dangerously teeter back to the dark mess of the past. but that's fine.

i'm really fine.

im gonna end this here and run to work now lmao

#finale talks #iM REALLY LATE WTF

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davidthelibrarian-blog · 7 years

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Game Recap || Kurt && Dave

Tagging: Kurt Hummel and David Karofsky

When: Saturday night

Where: Their home

Description: Dave and Kurt decide to have a game night together. To spice things up, Dave sets a bet. If he wins, Kurt has to spend the night with him. If Kurt wins, Dave has to go on a walk with him. Lots of sabotauge happens, but in th end, one comes out victorious.

#Dave has joined the game!

#Kurt has joined the game! [#Dave] says: Oh look, back for more? [#Kurt] says: Well..maybe it's a little fun. [#Kurt] says: But I didn't say that. [#Kurt] says: You're the one that introduced me to this. [#Kurt] says: Did we do this before? [#Dave] says: We might have on and off? [#Kurt] says: Might have? [#Dave] says: well i mean, yes [#Kurt] says: Did you forget too? :) [#Dave] says: we did [#Dave] says: ocasionally [#Kurt] says: Oh okay.. [#Kurt] says: Did I die every two seconds then, too? [#Dave] says: were you hoping i forgot? [#Kurt] says: No. Of course not, [#Dave] says: nah, pretty sure you beat me several times [#Kurt] says: I'd never wish this on you. [#Kurt] says: Oh good. [#Kurt] says: At least I beat you a couple times. [#Dave] says: oh. Yeah. Thanks for not wishing that on me [#Kurt] says: You're welcome.. [#Kurt] says: I mean.. [#Dave] says: So.....do you wanna maybe spice this up a little? [#Kurt] says: Yes! [#Dave] says: We could make a little bet or something? [#Kurt] says: Okay. Let's make a beat. [#Kurt] says: *bet [#Kurt] says: LOL not a beat. Laptop in bed doesn't equal easy typing. Let me sit up. [#Dave] says: Oh really? Because I'm doing pretty well in bed with the laptop.[#Dave] says: But hm. Okay, so is there anything you want if you win? [#Kurt] says: Um.. [#Kurt] says: I'll have to think. You tell me what you want if you win. [#Kurt] says: And I'll come up with something in the meantime. [#Dave] says: You can say no to this if you want, and i'll think of something else. But if I win, sleep with me. Not like sexually, just you know, in the same bed. If you're comfortable with that? [#Kurt] says: Dave.. [#Kurt] says: It won't make you feel sad? [#Kurt] says: Are you sure you want that from me? Really sure? [#Dave] says: Nah. I think thats one of the things I've missed? I mean I miss a lot but I miss sleeping next to you. [#Kurt] says: I'm so sorry I make you miss so much.. [#Kurt] says: So.. [#Kurt] says: For one night, I sleep in bed with you? [#Kurt] says: Is that what you mean? [#Dave] says: No its okay. I'm okay. I can wait, you know? It sucks not being able to kiss you or sleep with you, or really anything, but yeah. [#Dave] says: Um yeah. one night works. [#Dave] says: You think of what you want yet? [#Dave] says: Kurt? [#Kurt] says: Sorry. [#Kurt] says: I'm here. I just.. [#Kurt] says: Okay. I agree to that. [#Kurt] says: And.. [#Dave] says: Oh no its fine. Sorry if i freaked you out. [#Kurt] says: If I win? I want you to take a walk with me. [#Dave] says: a walk? [#Kurt] says: You didn't. I just..I really want you to make sure that's something you want. [#Kurt] says: A walk. [#Dave] says: I mean Kurt, there's a lot I want. But I don't want to make you do something that you would hate me for or regret or i dunno. [#Dave] says: I can do a walk with you. [#Kurt] says: What else do you want, Dave? [#Kurt] says: Or do we have to play another round and you telling me that can happen if I win? [#Kurt] says: I picked a walk because there's somewhere I want to go but I won't tell you until we're there. [#Kurt] says: But back to my question. What else do you want? [#Dave] says: Do you really want to know that? What else I want? [#Kurt] says: Yes.. [#Dave] says: I like the idea of the walk and now im curious. [#Kurt] says: Okay.. [#Kurt] says: Two rounds. Your answer is the stipulation on the next one if I have to wait. Let's see how we are spending what's left of our night first.. [#Dave] says: Are you sure you want that to be your next one? [#Kurt] says: Yes. I do. [#Dave] says: I'll start this game then.

Let the games begin! [#Dave] may start! [#Dave] became an Assassin. [#Kurt] became a Quantum Physicist. Assassin [#Dave] answered wrong and got infected with AIDS. Assassin [#Dave] says: Damn. Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: Oh wow. Sorry you got AIDS. Assassin [#Dave] says: I'll live (maybe)

Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] got laughed at by a hooker and went back 11 spaces. Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: Oh wow. Assassin [#Dave] says: hm? Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: You tried to kill me! Assassin [#Dave] says: I mean, i do want to win. Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] shot an arrow at Assassin [#Dave], but missed.

Assassin [#Dave] died of AIDS. Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: But through murder, Dave?? Assassin [#Dave] says: Well, the aids you gave me killed me SO

Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] used his Dark Wand to curse Assassin [#Dave] with the Curse Of Relativity. Assassin [#Dave] says: .....im not even alive Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: Oh. Hahah!

Assassin [#Dave] threw his Hand Grenade to space 90.Assassin [#Dave] got knocked 7 spaces backward and has to skip a turn!Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] got killed by a Hand Grenade! Assassin [#Dave] killed Quantum Physicist [#Kurt]!A spectator noticed the kill! "Such a delightful kill!" Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: Wow, David. Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: You did murder me. You dying earlier was well deserved! Assassin [#Dave] says: Well lets just say I really want to sleep next to you tonight?

Assassin [#Dave] found a Bucket, but no Lolrus.Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] used his Pocket Ball to send the Lolrus after Assassin [#Dave], who had a Bucket. The Lolrus goes berserk and beats up Assassin [#Dave], who has to skip a turn. Assassin [#Dave] says: ....

Assassin [#Dave] encountered the Godfather, Don Vito Corleone. Assassin [#Dave] accepted the Godfather's offer. Some tough guys are arranging a hit on Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] now. Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: DAVE Assassin [#Dave] says: We already decided to not go easy, didn't we? Assassin [#Dave] says: Besides I have Something nice for you Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: You're vicious. Assassin [#Dave] says: when you die Assassin [#Dave] is gonna use his Diss Card: Death. Assassin [#Dave] says: Damn it i just realized Assassin [#Dave]'s diss card killed Quantum Physicist [#Kurt]

Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] got shot by the mafia. Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: That's... Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: Awful. Assassin [#Dave] won the game! Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: Well.. Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: Okay then. Assassin [#Dave] says: I'll still go on the walk with you though. Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: Good. Then we both win. Assassin [#Dave] says: exactly Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: Round two? And you better think of something good. Because I want to know the answer. Assassin [#Dave] says: Think of something good that I want from you? Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: Yes. Quantum Physicist [#Kurt] says: Make the room and let's do this, Karofsky.

#game recap #kurt

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gsmatthews95 · 6 years

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"Is it wrap o'clock yet?"

Helloooo I am back and breaking my 4 day silence. Im on the bus down to noosa at the moment and I thought this is a good time to catch up with y'all on my comings and goings of the last few days. Also side note, I think I actually got frostbite last night. In a bed. In a hostel. Urgh. I was even wearing my sleeping bag onsie, it was bloody freezing. I just feel sorry for those poor unprepared souls who dont have a sleeping bag onesie. Ha I bet you thought oz would be warm didnt you? But no. Its pretty much arctic here at the moment. Lol. So where have I been these last few days? Oo good question Karen. I have been ticking oz travelling boxes by visiting Fraser island. Yaaaaay. Fraser island is a classic oz east coast stop, somewhere everyone goes for normally three days (dats what I did) on an organised tour, ew organised tour. But no. It was awesome one of the best tours I've done after the San vlas islands and the Lombok to Flores boat trip off the top of my head. Mainly because it was so chilled and fun, the guide was easy, the schedule was loose and we were driving oursrlves. So I think Fraser is the largest sand island in the world and has silica sand similar to Whitehaven beach, soft and white ooooo. Ergo George exfoliated and brushed his teeth again, yessss. But I jump the gun. So what happened was that we were in a group of 24 and one guide. We had three 4x4s with the guide driving the first and us driving the other two beasts. Yes I achieved my ambition of driving these bad boys. The island is famous because there are no roads. The highway is a 70 mile stretch of beach. Yes lots of beach and off road driving, well cool. #CarTwo4Lyf Ok the first day was an early kick off as we cruised to the island and over the ferry from rainbow beach. Then was our first experience of sand driving. Niamh (pronounced nieve. Irish, I know. Weird...) Was up as we skidded thru the deep and soft sand. This was actually the hardest driving as it was high tide and the wheels were going everywhere, a baptism of fire you may call it, well done niamh for getting us thru it all. I was up next as we went inland and off roaded. The moment I'd been waiting for. It was mint. We drove over craters, the car tipped over and the people in the back lost feeling in their bums... Not in a weird way... It was really bumpy I swear. The car smashed it though with its outrageous tires and suspension. It was all I imagined. AND MORE. This was when we came to lake Mackenzie. A rain water lake. Clear, clean and refreshing. With white sands. Idyllic. Kim kardashian actually just put up a photo there if you follow her, I reckon she was following us. We chilled there and swam a bit. Also got some nice snaps obvs. An enduring theme of this trip was Frisbee. Weird. I know. But very fun. So in car 2 (my car, the best car) we had 3, thats 3 out of 8 ultimate Frisbee players slash coaches. What are the chances? Consequentially, there was a lot of Frisbee chat and playing. Hugh and niamh are coaches and Ed plays at a national level (I'll leave it up to you to decide who's cooler me and my quidditch or Ed and his Frisbee). So every beach we got to the disk came out too culminating in a match when we got back to rainbow beach. A competitive yet relaxed affair. A very good game. Edged by team hugh, with yours truely playing centre back, a Sergio Ramos esque performance if I say so myself. It was well fun and is making me think I should have played at Leeds. I dont know if my friends would have stuck by me if I played that and quidditch though, it was hard enough to convince them to hang out with me when just played quidditch. Harry Buxton I'm looking at you. Also this is going to be a very long post, sorry. But a lot happened and I'm in the swing of writing now. The next stop on this adventure was lunch at a nice little creek with a board walk over it. Lunch. Let's discuss lunch. It quickly became the most exciting part of each day. It was the same meal each day but was heavenly anyway. Wraps. Lots of wraps with lots of fillings. It was so intrinsic to our days and necessary to our happiness that most conversations returned the wraps. "Is it wrap o'clock yet?", " I wonder if we're gonna get a new filling for the wraps today?", "im bloody excited about the wraps", "do you reckon dingo would taste good in a wrap?". Yep, wraps are life. I had nine in three days. We even had wrap battles, lol. Who had the best looking wrap?, the fullest wrap? Or even whether beatroot had a place in the wrap, were common lunchtime conversations. Basically we love wraps. The excitement culminated on our final day when Victor, part of our Swedish contingent, caught a fish with his bare hands (very alpha male i know) and proclaimed it was the newest filling for someone's wrap, yummy. Now it was off to camp for a little session. But only after we stopped at a ship wreck, which was quite cool. Nothing to write home about tho. Oh wait a second I suppose I'm writing home about it now. Hmm. Awkward. Well maybe is was worth It after all. We returned to camp, threw the disk, shock and drank goon, shock. We had a BBQ dinner and had some fun. A little trip to the beach for some stargazing and off to bed in my three man tent that i shared with my onesie, very cute. Day 2. An early kick off. Too early. I got up, got breaky and went back to sleep. I held up the group a wee bit, the previous nights antics had taken their toll, lesson learnt. Our first stop today was the champagne poolls. Basically some giant rock pools you can swim in with the waves crashing in. Not overly exciting but nice to see and swim in, obvs, nonetheless. I Just chatted to aido, our guide for a bit. Very funny man. A Bush baby. With a very different upbringing/life to me. Apparently he started a bush fire once, but did he do a fire dance around it while listening to dnb? I think not. Therefore I win. We cruised on Towards a big cliff With a wee little walk up it. We trooped up in true military fashion to get some nice views of the beach and sea. It was also a good sea creature viewing spot, we saw dolphins, a shark and lots of whales. Ok so the whales. There was a lot of them. So many so that the excitement of seeing them ebbed away towards the end. They'd all be chilling and swimming north along the beach. Usually quite far out tho. However, some gave us a show as the jumped out of the water and wagged their tales. One joker even did a workout for us as he repeatedly smashed his tale against the water, it was immense. Having never seen a whale I have now seen enough for a lifetime in 2 short weeks. It was all very impressive. More on day 2. I believe our next stop, after the wraps, was a trip to eli creek nicknamed the lazy river. A fresh water river leading to the sea, so clean you could drink it. It was a funny experience as our whole squad trooped Down the knee high river with only six tubes. There were scrambles for tubes as three would share one. I had a relatively regal experience compared to the rest as I sat on top of hugh, like a king. Then I was then shunted on to jabba's tube which we shared in very cute fashion. There was splashing, pushing and banter. It was all pretty jokes. I then went a second time with Rudy. Much more chilled as we floated down in true chiler fashion. We then played more frisbee and headed home for a sunset walk, with a twist.... What was this twist you ask? The twist was that we missed the sunset cause aido sent us off too late. Great. Luckily there was another group on the sand dunes with boogie boards. Ah, phew, we didnt waste our time after all. We were up and down the dunes standing, sitting and lying on the board. Lots of fun. Bloody tiring tho running up that hill so much and I had sand everywhere. I'm still covered now. A good activity tho, no thanks to aido. We headed back, I showered finally and we boozed. With another twist actually as we had neighbours in the next camp site. North camp. They were 26 strong. 23 girls and 3 guys, lol. 2 of the guys had girlfriends... Lol. So some of them came to join us as we had better banter and music, shock. The entertainment for the night was the excitement of a night at the horse racing. It got intense, especially when Winston pipped Adolf at the final hurdle. Adrenaline was flowing. Before I begin on day 3 I just want to give a little ode to the dingo. I was thinking they could get their own piece but I can't really be bothered. This has taken me like 1.5 hours I reckon already. Dingos are cute. Quite ratty but really they're just chillers. They stroll down the beach chat to humans and hang around with alpha males. There are lots of them on Fraser and people seem to be scared of them, im really not sure why tho cause they're super cute and lovely. They'll always have a place in my heart. I love you dingos. Day 3 started in similar fashion to day two. I hadn't learnt my lesson. We packed up camp and left for wobbi lake (I think). This was a stagnant lake (it was smelly and green) at the bottom of some steep sand dunes. This was the scene for the crumbed sausage. Something I will never forget. And as I have videos of it, I will always remember. Myself victor and jabba submerged ourselves in the festering water. We Got out and ran to the top of the dunes 3 times so we could try entering the water in different ways. We began by charging down at full speed. Easy. The second was the time of the crumbed sausage as we rolled down the hill, wet. This meant the sand clung to us. Hence the crumbed sausage. It was weird. Quite fun but quite painful, disorientating and sandy. This is the other reason im still covered in sand. We went for a third entrance into the water. Forward rolls, like a block of cheese rolling down the hill. This was most successful. As I hurtled down the slope at pace with a relatively smooth entrance to the water. Afterwards my head hurt and I couldn't see straight for about two minutes. If you go to Fraser, join the crumbed sausage crew, you won't regret it. Lol. But that was it as we went for lunch and bombed back to rainbow beach ending a smashing three days. We had a bangin group, lots of fun people in all three cars but seriously #CarTwo4lyf. Now I'm gonna go back to learning all the words to mans not hot and the bog in the valley-o. Maybe I should rename this blog the "blog down in the valley-o" although I do quite like "holidaying" I'll think about it. Anyhow I'll write again in maybe 3 days. Dont miss me too much. All my love. G

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coindex · 7 years

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SegWit2x Hard Fork C

SegWit2x Hard Fork Could Have Devastating Consequences for Bitcoin Opinion This is an opinion piece and the views of this author do not necessarily represent the views of Cointelegraph. The upcoming SegWit2x fork could generate a black swan event for Bitcoin; that is to say there is a small chance that the fork could have enormous repercussions. The idea of a black swan event was coined by author Nassim Nicholas Taleb to explain: The disproportionate role of high-profile hard-to-predict and rare events that are beyond the realm of normal expectations. SegWit2x could be just such an event particularly because the market seems so complacent right now. Despite soon facing an incredibly contentious hard fork with possibly terrific consequences Bitcoin price remains just below its all-time high. The longest chain The upcoming fork has been written about extensively; if you arent entirely sure what SegWit2x entails feel free to check out some earlier Cointelegraph articles. In this piece I want to talk not about what SegWit2x is or whether its good or bad but about the potential consequences it could have for Bitcoin. Lets begin with Satoshis original white paper. In it the creator of Bitcoin wrote: Proof-of-work is essentially one-CPU-one-vote. The majority decision is represented by the longest chain which has the greatest proof-of-work effort invested in it. In case of any confusion Satoshi followed this statement with: Nodes always consider the longest chain to be the correct one and will keep working on extending it. In Satoshis own words therefore the longest of two competing chains is assumed to be the legitimate one. Many have argued that Satoshi would have thought differently in such-and-such situation or that SegWit2x is an exception to the rule for one reason or the other. Nonetheless without Satoshi here to guide us personally it is understood from his white paper that the longest chain is Bitcoin. Full stop. Butbut But Bitcoins core developers dont like SegWit2x! But the SegWit2x code wasnt created and vetted traditionally! But the upgrade isnt needed! But many exchanges are going to call the legacy chain Bitcoin! But! Im not here to argue any of these points. Whether the block size increase is necessary or proper is beyond the scope of this article. It nonetheless remains true that under Satoshis original white paper the longest chain represents the winner the legitimate Bitcoin. Rightly or wrongly thats how Satoshi designed the Bitcoin network. Winners and losers This brings us to the next point: Bitcoins network is going to work exactly as Satoshi programmed it. At present miner support for the 2x hard fork is running around 83 percent. Bitcoin developer Jimmy Song made some rough calculations based on 90 percent miner support for the fork. This is reasonable since statistical variance causes miner support to fluctuate. Song reasoned that if 90 percent of Bitcoins miners follow through with their current plan to mine SegWit2x then: Block 494784 splits to 1X and 2X. Initially 1X has 100 minute blocks 2X has 11 minute blocks on average. 1X and 2X have the exact same difficulty. Legacy Bitcoin (which Song calls 1X) would have 100 minute blocks. This means a single transaction with a high enough fee to make it into the next block would require 10 hours to receive six confirmations. It would take nearly half a day to fully confirm a transaction on the 1X chain! How is the ecosystem going to react to a nearly two hour block time? Given the great slowness of the network an order of magnitude slower than pre-forkhow high will fees rise? If the block size remains the same (on the 1X chain) but there are only a tenth as many blocks fees will have to rise to monstrous levels since there will be 10 times the competition for space in a block. This will be no brief inconvenience either. Song estimates that if the mining split remains as it is today the 1X chain wont experience a difficulty drop until Feb. 3 and block times wont return completely to normal until March 10. Die-hard supporters of the legacy chain will be contending with nearly two hour block times and sky-high fees for about three months! Futures markets and opportunity cost Song points out that in futures trading legacy (1X) Bitcoins are trading for about $6100 each compared to 2X Bitcoins which are priced at only $1100 apiece. He argues that this creates a massive opportunity cost as miners who choose to mine the 2X chain will receive less valuable Bitcoins as a reward than if they mined the 1X chain. However this is only the case if after the fork the 2X chain remains priced at a sixth of the 1X chain. Assuming that the 1X chain has 100 minute block times and fees an order of magnitude higher than they are currently it seems unlikely that 1X Bitcoin will maintain its high value relative to 2X Bitcoin. Its important to remember that since the 2X chain doesnt yet exist the current futures price isnt merely a bet on whether 2X will supplant 1X. Its also a bet as to whether the fork even happens at all. Theres still the possibility of a last-minute compromise or a falling away of support for 2X or the conversion of some Bitcoin core devs to the 2X cause. Until the fork happens the futures price doesnt mean all that much. Of course once the fork happens the futures markets will become moot anyway. In short take the futures markets with a grain of salt. Confusion Assuming the SegWit2x hard fork happens under the terms Song suggests (90 percent of mining power backing the new chain Core devs backing the legacy chain) its likely there will be enormous confusion in the marketplace. Consider that one chain will presumably be functioning just like normal but with even lower fees due to its higher capacity. This would be the 2X chain. The other chain the 1X chain will have only a tenth the hash power of the 2X chain and will have a block time of nearly two hours. The network will quite literally crawl and its maximum transaction throughput will be slashed by an order of magnitude. Politics aside which network sounds healthier? Which sounds more valuable? Game theory Given that the marketplace is likely to be highly confused about which Bitcoin is the real Bitcoin here lies one possibility of a black swan event. Since some exchanges will give the name Bitcoin and the BTC ticker to the 1X chain and some will give the moniker and symbol to the 2X chain its likely that buyers will be confused as to what they are buying. With a lack of replay protection there is likely to be significant disruption on both networks as transactions on each network are replayed on the other. In short the first days following the fork will likely be chaos. The price of both 1X and 2X Bitcoin could crash particularly if excess margin contributes to any flash crashes. Miners will quickly realize that the chaos must end before the value of both networks hits zero. They will likely therefore attack the 1X chain. Considering that 2X miners will have (in our imagined scenario) ten times the hash power of the minority chain reorg attacks against the 1X chain would be easy to execute and highly effective. Such attacks could reverse huge portions of the Blockchainperhaps days worth of transactionsundermining confidence in the 1X network. Bitcoins core devs who unanimously support the 1X chain have said that in the event of any attacks they will simply change the proof-of-work algorithm. While this could work it would require yet another hard fork. It should be remembered that part of Cores opposition to SegWit2x is because hard forks are dangerous yet these same developers propose to foist a risky hard fork on an already unstable 1X network thats under attack by a larger chain. This seems unwise in the extreme. Not only that but changing 1Xs proof-of-work algorithm would tend to undermine its assertion that its the true heir to Satoshis original Bitcoin network. Anything could happen In fact because people are wildly unpredictable and there are such vast sums of money and pride at stake nearly any outcome is possible. One chain could destroy the other completely both chains could co-exist one chain could be more valuable or the fork might somehow be avoided altogether. Nobody knows and if theres anything the market hates its uncertainty. Yet with Bitcoin sitting over $7000 at press time it seems like the market doesnt care at all. Black swans Talebs theory rests on the assumption that high-profile hard-to-predict events can have far-reaching consequences. But everybody knows that the SegWit2x hard fork is coming so doesnt that necessarily negate the hard-to-predict aspect of a black swan event? Not at all. In this case its not the event itself thats hard to predict but the outcome. I keep coming back to the marketright now the market isnt showing any signs of panic or unusual volatility. In fact it appears to be merely consolidating in anticipation of another possible surge. This is irrational. Since the market seems to expect the fork to be a non-event its actually creating the perfect scenario for a black swan outcome. The possibility of mass confusion and price collapse do not seem to be priced in meaning that if such events did occur the market would likely react with panic. Since very few seem to expect any trouble its likely that most traders and investors have failed to make contingency plans. If the fork becomes a black swan event a great many people are likely to have powerful knee-jerk reactions. Prices could easily tumble. Follow us on Facebook

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