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#u like her but u dont realize it. or u dont want to realize it...
geckoomoria · 13 hours
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friends to lovers trope w jj, but its the type of love where they both dont know that theyre both in love with eachother and they just casually flirt w eachother, but their friends r always like 👀 whenever they flirt or when jj like helps her or whatever, also everytime jj does something for reader, she always blushes but tries to hide it (going thru this shit rn 😃😅)
I love u for asking this omg.
i wanna add that they both deny it a lot and they just wont admit it to themselves.
this ones a bit long…
i hope this lives up to ur standards 😪
Just friends - Jj Maybank x reader
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Saturday August 17th
9:00pm
YOU HAD JUST ARRIVED at a local beach party , looking around to find anyone you recognized.
yelling out an occasional “sorry!!” or “excuse me!” as you pushed past the main entrance of the beach house to get to the living room.
the house was so crowded you barley knew if you were headed in the right direction. As you backed up to let someone pass by you, you bumped into someone from behind.
“i am so sorr- oh Jj.” is what you said as you turned to apologize to the person that happened to be Jj maybank.
The scowl on the blondes face quickly reverted as he realized you were the one who bumped into him , a grin and opened eyes had appeared instead.
“ah so if its me you wont say sorry” he said while looking you up and down taking in your appearance. black denim shorts , long black thin socks that stopped mid thigh and a fitted dark red short sleeve top that had a sweetheart neckline.
to put it in short terms , you looked hot as fuck.
you find the corners of your lips turning as he spoke , it wasn’t uncommon for you and Jj to shamelessly flirt like this. Everyone could see you had a thing for each-other but both denied and claimed to be “just good friends”.
“well Maybank , i guess that says something about you” you responded still looking at the grinning boy.
“you wound me sweetheart” he said while dramatically placing a hand over his heart and acted as if he was in pain. You could feel the blush creeping onto your face.
“i try as much as i can darling” the words rolled off your lips as you kept up with his flirty game
The two of you stand still amongst the crowd of partiers as you stare into each others eyes, the sudden silent tension engulfing you two.
Abruptly it was broken as a pair of thin arms threw themselves over your neck , it was Kiara. “Y/n! i was looking all over for you, pope thought you weren’t coming” she claimed as she rolled her eyes at another mutual friend of yours , Pope.
“i didn’t say she wasn’t coming , i said i dont think she was coming on TIME.” Pope corrected back quite sassily as he gave you a side hug himself.
Jjs eyes had been kept on you the entire time, he didn’t even want to look away for a second.
“yeah yeah but still you doubted her and it wouldn’t be a party without Y/n ,right jj? kiara stated as the two pogues looked at their blonde headed friend. He was silent , still staring at you. His attention was only brought back when your eyes met his again.
“y-yeah wouldn’t be a party without ya” He said finally looking away for a second and looking back. The other two didn’t miss his reaction. You all walked over to where the drinks were kept and needless to say everyone was DRUNK. You all decided to sit outside on the steps.
15 minutes later
“hey wheres John B?” you question about the missing pogue from the friend group , “said he had to work for ward tonight but we all know what that means” Kiara answers before taking a sip of her beer.
You raise an eyebrow letting them know that you in fact didn’t know what it meant. “means he’s getting it on with the Kook queen , Babe ” Jj replies.
Pope and Kiara groan in disgust as your eyes widen at his words. “Wait what?! he actually has a thing going on with Sarah Cameron? Sarah Cameron who you hate” you say pointing at Kiara, “and who’s brother hates you?!” you say pointing at Jj.
“Damn straight” Kiara spits out, “Yes Ma’am” Jj replies before taking a chug of his drink, its clear none of them really liked the idea of him being with a Kook, Sarah Cameron of all people.
“God i told him to-“ Kiara’s rambling was cut off in your head as Jjs legs brushed against yours , feeling his body heat. It should have felt like nothing , friends are okay with being touchy right?
But you couldn’t ignore it as neither one of you moved your legs, what was this weird feeling inside of you?
You glance at his face only for him to be looking at you first , a stare across both your faces. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Pope who’s sitting on the steps above you two.
“Uh Kie im gonna grab another drink , you coming?” He cuts off her rambling about John B and Sarah in hopes of leaving you and Jj together.
Shes too drunk to notice whats going on so she mindlessly agrees and gets up to grab another bottle, leaving you and Jj alone on the steps.
Silence is the only thing between you two right now , absolutely no space. Arm to arm , leg to leg and shoulder to shoulder.
minutes goes by before Jj starts to laugh a bit, “whats so funny?” you ask curiously.
“i was just thinkin”
“about?”
he takes a sigh before answering “remember that time we didn’t talk for three whole days cause of the spider?”. You don’t remember at first but eventually the memory sparks back. “Oh Sally.” you say bitterly.
“you gave it a name???”
“uhm SHE lived with me for a week i think SHE deserved a name!” you sternly say emphasizing the she in your sentence.
you could feel the atmosphere’s tensions rising as you started to argue in a petty manner.
“you got so mad at me when i accidentally stepped on her”
“you killed my roommate Maybank , what was i supposed to do!”
“IT WAS A SPIDER!” , “SHE WAS A SPIDER , SHE”
you two had pointless arguments for no reason all the time to go along with all the flirting.
you huff as tick marks appear on your forehead and the same happened with Jj. The silence once again appeared after your loud voices went quiet.
“didn’t even pay for her funeral asshole” you mutter under your breath as you take another sip of your drink. You look at Jj and the two of you shared a silent look that lasted for a second.
You both burst out laughing, unable to catch your breaths, eventually after a few moments it dies down , “you’re something else princess” He says , chuckles still underlying his voice.
Him calling you suggestive nicknames was normal but lately its been feeling more than just a silly nickname.
“yeah well only you would know” you reply resting your chin under your palm and turning your head to face him. “thats right , papa j knows ya best” Jj says with some sense of pride puffing his chest.
“ugh y’know everytime you call yourself that , a little piece of me dies on the inside” you groan and roll your eyes at the stupid nickname Jj set for himself.
He starts laughing again at your words , you gave him a sense of comfort he’s never been familiar with.
He found himself constantly yearning for your presence and in moments of joy , he knew the only thing to make it better was if you were there.
Jjs tried convincing himself that it was normal to think of friends constantly and that its just his impulsive thoughts that thought of you in that way.
but the more he denied it to both others and himself , the more he craved you.
At the same time you felt similar things , thinking you were weird for even viewing your close friend like that. That he was just like that to everyone and that it was your head just spinning the truth.
But every-time you denied and brushed off the dating rumours , deep down you felt a twinge at the heart when you remembered they weren’t true.
Unconsciously shifting closer, your faces are inches from each-other. His eyes glued to your lips , the two of you reek of alcohol and the tensions never been higher.
Your heart beats rapidly as he moves in to attempt to kiss you but thats all it remained.
An attempt.
The moment was unexpectedly stopped as Pope burst through the door from above, stopping the two of you from what was about to happen.
“Guys Kie is like out of her mind drunk and she tried beating up her own reflection in the mirror so i think its time to go home” he says with a drunk Kiara slung over his shoulder not even realizing what he interrupted.
The blush on your face is replaced with a similar tone of red out of embarrassment, you get up not even looking at Jj to help Pope with Kiara.
“God that did not just happen” you think repeatedly
The car ride was just awkward silence as Pope who was the most sober at the moment drove to John Bs place since no one could scold your intoxicated selves there.
You avoid Jj like the plague when breaking in entering John Bs house , placing Kiara on the spare bed , Pope on the couch , you sleeping beside Kiara and Jj on a old recliner chair.
After voicing a Goodnight to Pope , you can’t find the courage to say anything to Jj as he sits there deep in thought. You wanted to say something, anything to change the weird feeling between you two but nothing would come out of your mouth.
You just lay beside Kiara’s sleeping figure in the dark, unable to sleep after tonight.
To be continued…
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wow that was long , I LOVED THIS REQUEST AND LIKE PLS GIVE ME MORE GUYS. ABOUT MORE CHARACTERS IN OTHER SHOWS/ MOVIES
if u liked this pls lemme know so i can start on part 2.
i love gaining mutuals guys cmon 😓
hes so hot omfg
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chrliekclly · 1 month
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i lov shipping deetress its so funny like 'yes dee's leading a basically kidnapped waitress n w a bag over her head nd she also proceeds to rip th waitress' hair out of her skull to remove it then blames HER for it but look @ that full body contact arm over th shoulder walk look how th waitress leans nto her'
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haunted-xander · 3 months
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Baby's first kiss(ing attempt)
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howlonomy · 2 months
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How did Frisk Kanako etc react to learning about HOW the monsters got clover’s soul? I can’t imagine they’d treat it as completely normal although I guess it’s a possibility they might?
frisk; sad, but still happy for them. theyre happy that clover got to experience the same thing they did in their trip through the underground; the kindness of monsters and the bonds they make with others. but they’re still sad FOR clover, that they had to die, they wanted to die, for the monsters. its an injustice that clover died after everything they went through
kanako: her mom hid no secrets from her when they reunited; in the months between returning home and clover reviving, ceroba told kanako everything that happened, even clover’s sacrifice. at the time, kanako thought clover was pretty brave for doing it, and was sad she never got to meet them.
when they DID meet, kanako was kind of over the moon for a bit! but as they got closer clover confided in her that they were awfully scared about the whole thing and dying was painful and they were alone, and kanako realized they werent some cool, untouchable brave cowboy; they were a scared, lonely kid just like she was in the lab. clover was much more down to earth than some fairytale her mom would tell her as a bedtime story. she related to clover a lot more after learning what they really felt about it
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infizero-draws · 28 days
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born sexy yesterday
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wormy-worm · 1 month
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ok u know what maybe if the world isn't ready for sunrazer post that means that the world IS ready for Amoveous siblings post. This is Milo and Enho and theyre my DARLINGS and i love them SO MUCH. i have. SOOOOOOOO many thoughts abt them but after the previous post massacre i do not really feel like typing all of that xoxo love <3
#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL#meart#original character#robot oc#ily enho ily milo my darlings my angels my loves my funny robot guys.#ive posted abt Andromeda on here b4 if u remember her Enho is her best friend !!!!!#Enhos a battle robot who doesnt want 2 fight people..#hes the oldest sibling and theres a lot resting on their shoulders!#shes supposed to be this big metal protector but U.U she just wants to hide in his room.. and make music for the internet..#him and andy have this whole arc abt like. autonomy and identity and junk#being as andy is a government experiment who was raised to be a superhero who. has not yet realized that she HATES being a superhero lol#Enho inspires her!#milo um. does his own thing. he was the second amoveous bot and he is lucky to have been built without the responsibility of a battle bot#which means hes a LOT weaker. doesnt have a million weapons and lasers and such like enho does. no one expects much of him. he HATES IT!!!!#he wants to be POWERFUL! he wants to HURT PEOPLE!! he wants to be USEFUL!!! hes ANGRY ALL THE TIME#its EXSAUSTING.#yk that tinkerbell thing thats like. cuz shes so small she can only feel one emotion at once. and its so big it consumes her entirely?#hes that. he lives entirely in extremes. everything is 100% for him#he jumps to conclusions so quick and so violently.. hes incredibly impulsive and it gets him into a lot of trouble.#hes also a total NERD!!! GOOB!!! says mlady unironically. likes bad computer games. wears a stupid tie everyday. cartoonishly schemes 24/7#enho for the record is also a pretty angry person. they just dont rlly express it. they dont express much of anything lol.#shes semiverbal on a talkative day. he can be REALLY REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THO. THAT MF CAN BE SO PETTY. GOOFY ASS#but shes TERRIFIED she'll lose control of her emotions and her body and that shell hurt someone someday. absolutely terrified.#enho is as afraid of his strength as milo is of his weakness. theyre both two ends of the same extremes in a lot of ways.#polar opposites and yet exactly the same. they resent each other a lot. they need to learn to meet each other in the middle.#anyway ''i dont feel like typing all that'' and then i ramble in the tags for ten million years lol ToT I LOVE THESE GUYS#theyre my oldest ocs in this universe and i have so many thoughts if you have any questions feel free to ask me lol
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cathalbravecog · 8 months
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i'm the antonymph of the internet
#how many tributes to this song will i make in my life#MANY ! it literally changed my life and means a lot to me. i love antonymph and vylet pony's music is worth checking out - please do.#unsupervised internet access as a queer neurodivergent kid anthem !!#i chose to do misty since we all know i like drawing her in experimental pieces and putting her in outfits. she also has art in a gir hoodi#from the clash team in treasure trove!! :D#this is also experimental/stylistic as well!! had fun!! nice to just draw something in one day and not worry. leaves me tired but...#haven't done a nice piece like so in one day in a while!!! i'm very proud :] it's a fun one#anyways... both a little tribute to the song and misty as a character#ihave so many thoughts about misty even if i dont talk publicly on them. shes a very interesting character to me and i care about her so#much. i compared her to fluttershy in the past - and realized that if i liked ttcc as a kid she would've been my favorite.#fluttershy on her own meant a lot to me as a child. including mlp itself as it's one of the core things that got me into drawing art online#a lot of my analysis on misty and headcanons at least on the more emotional scale do come from a bit of projecting but...it makes it more#fun to me when i can put myself into the shoes of a character like her who i already relate to. rrghh too bad im scared to talk about her#too much in nuanced detail in public since some people are... not so nice about her. though i know the tumblr audience is nice and unders#standing!!#anyways from me just having fun being me#i let misty have a little bit of fun... something i think she would possibly enjoy? i do see her as someone who gets nostalgic#and is stuck in more childish things and matters. she wants to play ip dip with you...its very sweet to me. letting myself and her be#confident through a song that means so much to me is kind of powerful to me. i had a lot of fun making this drawing.#anyways. love this song. love ttcc. love mity /p. be swag and be self indulgent and have fun. you can do anything u want forevah#toontown#toontown corporate clash#antonymph#guz art#rainmaker
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WIP its-not-Wednesday-but-close-enough
tagged by @autistic-sidestep! thank you for the tag :D i have,,, so many wips rn. pulp stop starting a million projects challenge. all of these are very rough, and a lot of them feature other steps, but i wanted to share a few :]
for writing, ive got these:
“What the hell, man!” Mitchel hisses. He’s let go, but he hasn’t bothered lowering his voice. Too loud, but real. Caine groans, pulling themselves up from the mattress. At least it wasn’t the floor– this could’ve hurt a lot worse. They wince at the throb in their shoulder as they reach for the wall, probing for a light switch. When he flicks it on reality re-establishes itself once more.  It’s Caine’s room, familiarly bare-bones. There’s only a singular twin sized bed in one corner of the room and a desk just across, with a heap of laundry they haven’t bothered to do taking up the chair. Mitchel stands on the mattress in the middle, both parts pissed and bleary eyed. His cheek is a lightish colour that’s a telltale sign it’s going to bruise, and a portion of his blanket stubbornly clings onto his shoulder. There’s no threat in here, or at least nothing more threatening than Mitchel annoyed. The knowledge doesn’t stop the blood pounding in their ears.
-caine wakes up and gets jumpscared by @hyper-pixels mitchel. they react to this calmly.
Marshal Steel has hair stuck in his finger joints. That's the first thing Daniel noticed when he came in to work this morning. Steel has his civilian hands on, which is normal when he has admin work. Those civilian hands will usually have hair in it too, mostly from Spoon. That's also normal. What's not normal is the colour; because instead of the odd tufts of grey fur Daniel's used to seeing scattering Steel's joints, this is a single, longer strand that he's sure wasn't left on purpose. Because the hair strand is brown. Suspiciously similar to Ortega's own brown hair.
-herald is suspicious that his boss is having another secret relationship with a pretty old man, but its none of his business! not at all. thats why hes eavesdropping on them from the breakroom pantry.
“What are you two talking about?” Ortega jerks, nearly spilling coffee all over Wei, tearing a curse out of him as he yanks his head to the direction of the voice.  Speak of the devil. Caine glances between the two, head cocked. When did he get here? Ortega doesn't remember inviting him, and nobody told him he was coming either. Not that Ortega isn't happy to see him, but the timing… “Dios mio, Spot, how long have you been standing there?” he mutters. He gives his coffee a once over, but nothing's spilled.  He turns back to Caine and double takes. The poor guy looks like he's just run a marathon– he's drenched in his own sweat. He's not wearing his raggedy sweater, for once. Instead, he's got a skintight suit with a simple white tee over it.
-a multi-pov fic featuring the same conversation, but told from the perspective of ortega, chen, and caine. trying to practice voices with it, and so far its been fun digging into each of them!
as for art wips:
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-arde and vera based on the song "the villain i appear to be"! i actually made this today after playing the new revelations demo lmfao. i do not remember what arde looks like 😔 im so sorry ive done you a disservice
the next two have blood+mild gore in them, so im throwing them under the cut!
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-cyrus gets Fucked Up by a dream version of fawn from @villainsidestep, based on this absolutely vile(/pos) soul read of him:
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because why not fuck him up even more??
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-mitchel painting i have yet to put down colours for that i am lovingly dubbing "cannibalism (NOT ROMANTIC)". chew it out with your teeth mitchel!!!!
ill be tagging everybody mentioned in the post, plus @idlenight, @disastersteps, and maybe @euelios if you all wanna give this a shot?
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vixenicks · 1 month
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sorry for reblogging fugly trends from 2012 it's for my enrichment
#have i ever told u guys about my early 2010s fashion and pop culture fixation#i got a gen you ine aeropostle skirt recently ive never been happier#also gonna try and get my hands on some freshtops tanks#eventually#also their shorts though ive only found one secondhand listing in my size#i need the naked1 pallet or i'll die#its funny to me because like#yes within fashionblogging and lifestyle teen youtube girls from that era#consummerism was a massive thing (it still is but its so obvious when you look at blog archives and videos from that era)#youtubers with non disclosed sponsorships#bethany mota and amanda steele vaguely saying “this brand sent me this product to give to you guys!”#it was really just watching the birth of what we know as influencers today and its really interesting to me#theres a lack of cuts theres a lack of scripting theres long tangents#people were only just then realizing you can make money via haul videos and makeup tutorials#bethany mota had a fashion line at aeropostle purely because of her status as a youtuber#there was a big rise at the time of people being against flaunting overpriced designer during that time because of the recession#but there was still a hugggeee hold with consumerism and classism#hauls with brandy and f21 and ae like i cant afford that im sure you cant afford $600 at american eagle on a weekly basis#i have lots of thoughts idk#anyways backtracked#i think its funny because here i am talking about how horribly i need b&bw and vs pink#but like its all secondhand shit for $15 online now#nobody wants this stuff!!!!!! cycles!!! capitalism!!!! i dont know you get what i mean!!!!!!!!!!!#skyler posting
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red-dyed-sarumane · 2 months
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kamitsubaki trying to frame rime as the "responsible one" is so funny to me. thats a kid playing house. she couldnt keep the others in line for one moment and ran to haru about it. ill admit shes a little above what they portray coko as but like shes kind of on par with all the others. which is to say they all collectively have one responsibility brain cell and pass it back & forth
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aq2003 · 8 months
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series 3 is so frustrating because there is like a shining core of pure diamond underneath the problems . like conceptually it rocks so incredibly hard. but the problems
#dr who#i am being so honest when i say ten should have gotten on his knees and begged for simm!master's life#they should have framed the bit between him and martha's mom so different#like yes it is 10000% in character that the doctor with his bleeding heart and loneliness wouldn't want to kill him#even after everything that happened. because he's the only person he has left. 'i forgive you' was PERFECT.#but literally anyone else that suffered from what the master did. Deserves to rip him to shreds. so very obviously#and like i know.i KNOW that i am watching the 'funny immortal alien saves people through time and space' show#but i actually despise the doctor being framed as like an all powerful savior. or treated like one. even for a little bit. is Annoying#the first part of the series 3 finale having martha be humanity's last hope was SO GOOD bc it like kind of set her up as like#having to grapple with all that responsibility and attention like the doctor does. everyone's lives are in her hands. so crunchy#but when it like slides into 'everyone pls believe in our specialest boy in the world The Doctor <3' it just. falls flat#i feel like with a couple tweaks here and there in the execution and like actual fuckinnn people of color in the writer's room#series 3 would be PEAK media. but as it is it's just. falling short.#i do really appreciate martha deciding to leave ten on her own though. first of all. qpp down. second of all#she's realized that she can't keep traveling with him. bc (as i mentioned) hes someone who simultaneously needs saving#and refuses to be saved in the ways that matter. Yes im fucking ignoring the unrequited romance angle i think#it does a gigantic disservice to martha's character if u boil her down to that. fight me i dont care if that was the authorial intent#martha in the end is too kind to ten and ten keeps making her watch his meandering path of self destruction. toxic doomed qprism to ME.#anyway fuck. idk man series 2 consensus was that im dead inside and series 3 consensus is that the version i have of it in my head is peak#series 2 is better but i think because of my ten martha insanity i actually enjoyed watching series 3 more than series 2.#even if i got mad at it more than any other season. i think something is wrong with me. um. lmao#ten and martha#10 era
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chrliekclly · 10 months
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them: “get off my back u frigid bitch” “its always an awful idea to have u here”
me: theyre n love :)
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bo0zey · 2 years
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Did I miss "back from the war" recreation or is that not happening
OK so i've been meaning to address this for a while because it’s actually something i've been genuinely annoyed/sad/upset about; my original plan to recreate the post was to go to riot fest & have someone take pics of me during MCR live in person (caption wouldve been something like ‘when will mcr--omg they;re Back from the Warfdskns’ lol idk). i ended up 2nd row from the barrier & i was like OMG bc i didn’t expect to get so close & i was like ‘WOW these r gonna b such GR8 PICTURES!!i;m so lucky!!this is gENIUS!’ & so my plan was literally going according to/even better than planned right?? i mean the fact that i was ~a few feet away from the stage n was ~1.5hrs away from seeing mcr LIVE??? my plan was going along SUSPICIOUSLY well..everything was falling into place TOO perfectly...it was almost to good to be true right??? IT WAS. everything went to shit & my plan fell thru during the last band before MCR when my body suddenly fell victim to the effects of being crowd crushed for >7 hours straight; i experienced syncope & was pulled over the barrier & out of the pit by security.
sooooo, you didn’t ‘miss’ anything; the post was supposed to be recreated at the concert, but the universe pulled an uno-reverse on me when it remembered i’m on the universal ‘Do Not Ever Allow to Be Truly Happy’ list lol. i meant to post an update abt my failed plan afterwards, but tbh the actual event in itself made me wanna fr kms, and i felt even guiltier/worse for being unable to fulfill my promise to u all bc i fr planned on recreating it at the concert. 'ok but u were still at the concert after u got pulled out’ ok physically yes but mentally N-Ooo. due to the hypoxia (lack of blood blow/oxygen to the brain) i’d obtained secondary to being crowd crushed PLUS the psychological trauma of being removed against my living breathing dying will from the pit (btw the psychological trauma has nothing to do with being crowd-crushed but im not gonna get into that turmoil rn lol), i was stuck in an altered mental state for the remainder of the concert. i was dissociated for mcr’s entire set until i woke up the next morning & it took ~3-4 days for my body to fully recover from the physical trauma of being crowd crushed.
i still plan on recreating the post eventually, but tbh it’s not rlly my top priority atm bc 1) i still can’t come to terms w/ the fact i lost my 1 n only chance to experience MCR live & 2) imo seeing MCR live was the perfect opportunity to recreate the post & that clearly didn’t work out for me sooo now i have no idea how else i can top that idea :( .
#i have an idea but i’m not sure if it’ll work...imma need mcr 2 pull thru n meet me halfway on this 1 lol#anywyas i h8 talking abt riot fest i feel like every1 h8s me whining abt it too lol#i was so angry and upset with the world and myself. i really tried so hard to stay conscious;#ppl were asking if i was ok & i kept nodding yes because i didn’t want to be pulled out of the pit bc#then i’d lose my spot + my ONLY chance to see MCR live & so up close.#next thing i know i’m being pulled over the barrier by security and WHOOSH into dissociationville i go.#they were too much for my brain to handle so i’d just fall back even more into that weird dissociated state#i honestly would have preferred to not have even attended the concert. like HONESTLY 100% deadass i wish i didnt even go.#like imagine urself in my shoes lol i went from being 2nd row from the stage to like 70000 rows away.#yall dont understand how awful it is to have such a golden opportuntiy to be 1 hr n a few feet away from the band who saved u#to having it all ripped away from u in literally a matter of seconds#if i’d just stayed home my 12y/o little wouldn’t have had to experience the psychological trauma of having everything to having nothing.#my 15/16 year old teen wouldnt have had to re-live the experience of realizing there’s nothing left#in this world to comfort/protect/save her OR her childself#22 year old me realizing i failed them and all the other parts of me. i cant be happy i cant have shit in this world#i couldnt have my mom but at least i had mcr right??? nope lol that got ripped out of my fingertips too#i cant even begin to describe the emotional damage/psychological blow the situation had on me bc like#i cant even put it into words and i know nobody will truly understand/believe me when i say how heartbreaking & detrimental this#situation was for my already fucked up psyche. or they’ll think im exaggerating but its like u dont get it#ive lost so many things and people i spent my entire childhood/adolescence maladaptive daydreaming.#at age 12 mcr became my escapism for ~4yrs straight bc they were the only thing that made me happy#while all the other ppl in the real world in my day to day life were making me wanna kms everyday#like ik it sounds extreme/dramatic but ??? i mean i dont even fully understand my reaction tbh.#i think its just mcr used to be my happy place n then i get to see them live and its just an absolute nightmare#and the fact that i was dissociated from their concert when they used to be the only thing to keep me grounded to this earth???#truly i wish i didnt even go like i cant even listen to their music anymore without wanting to crawl out of my skin#when the only thing that made u feel alive made u feel deader than ever inside....yeahhhhh not fun!!#its a heartsinking feeling i hate it so much i wish i had a doever#mcr#when will mcr return from the war
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socialbunny · 11 months
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👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽some of my skipy lore in the tags i was supposed to bridge it with something else but i forgot what i wanted to say 😭
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ionights · 2 years
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pals. 
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camptw1nk · 3 months
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#not 2 be like. negative but i just kinda got hit hard by the way my relationship w my best friend has changed#dont get me wrong i understand that her girlfriend will be super important to her esp bc she lives across the world and is only physically#here for another 2 or so weeks#but my best friend just got back from a trip to another city to see an artist she loves and as she came in i got up to go see her and ask hl#how it was but she was in her room w her gf before i could and thats fine i get it and like she hasnt done anything wrong i can not#emphasize that enough like i hold no bitter feelings to her she is excited to talk to her gf understandably#it just hit me that like. oh yeah. i have no one else that i go to about literally anything but she does#and its less ab her so much as its. its just hitting me that i dont really have? friends?#i have one or two people but like. i only have One Person thats my go to fave person always tell them everything#and i just. I've realized that its not reciprocated the way it used to be#and that i think is just like a part of growing up#i dont have a partner i dont have someone my life is intrinsically linked to#like a best friend is great but its not. relationships are placed to a higher level you know like its jusy more important#and i just. ive nevr Had a partner really. unless u count a like 2 month thing when i was 12 which i dont count#not to be depresso but i am just not the kind of person that people want or desire#and thats been the case long before i came out as trans but its extra complicated now since i dont. Fully pass#idk not 2 sound sad i just wanna be loved#and i think theres only so many times i can hear the most important person in my life come home and talk excitedly ab things thru the walls#and then never actually get told anything myself. not just ab things shes excited for but just in general#we were meant to go to a house viewing together a few days ago and it was only half an hour before it was happening when no one else was#home that i messaged them to check in and they were like oh yeah we're not going we have this and this going on#which like. fine whatever but i dont drive and getting anywhere fast is hard so it just. was stressful#but it just seems like i am constantly out of the loop. everyone i live with is in a relationship w each other and i am just here#in every aspect of my life i am Just There and im tired of it#not to sound desperate or needy but i just would like to. be noticed? or feel prioritized? or even wanted#idk this is. i just needed to rant i think im emotional bc my hormones r a bit wack#im due for my testosterone shot in a few days but i dont have the money or time to go to the doctors lately so its being pushed back#a few weeks and its just. i think its messing w me a bit#i mean i feel this way literally all the time but just the like. the being upset and emotional and posting ab it i think is bc of that#idk i needed to get it out idk it this will stay up or not
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