too real

ALAS! I AM RETURNED

I was weakened by someone’s hex of black magic (I got mugged and they beat the fuck out of me, I was comatose for a bit).

[you see several cats being chased by a smol dragon]

Hey! Stop it! Don’t hurt them!

*I run up to the dragon and try to get it to stop chasing them*

*walking into your store is a tall Tiefling, their eyes are blue and gold, they have tall black horns and a long black tail, they look perfectly harmless and innocent...*

-@confused-sorcerer (main blog)

good afternoon my good sir may i interest you in a WHIMSICAL POTION or the incredibly legal BLOOD ORB or

[sleeping in your cat tree]

Comfy

*You’re immediately ejected by the warding runes, sent flying miles away*

To make sure my customers will receive the best service once I open my shop, I'd like to ask you wizards a question:

Trust me this information will be important to guarantee the perfect service for you

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

COUNTRY GNOMES

TAKE THEIR BONES

*a bunch of gnomes in overalls run toward you and take your bones out of you*

Up in my tower, casting enchantments

Turning Lego sets into pixie encampments

the con crunch sleep deprivation caught up to me at the con so i took a nap before the cosplay contest

*reblog for a more universal wizard tower*

Edit: it's supposed to say purposeless area,