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wordsarelife · 3 days

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𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧: 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: the night of the concert is here. will theo be able to fix everything between him and pixie?

warnings: bit angst, idiots in love, a bit cheesy

note: not really happy with the outcome of this chapter, but whatever..

you tried not to think about it too much, but despite everything, saturday did not feel normal. it felt like you were missing something.

after you had ignored his messages, your dad had called you several times. you didn't want to speak to him, but you had to admit that it felt good being wanted by him for once.

you didn't know when he last tried to reach out to you.

you spent your day ignoring the time, staring blindly into your book and reading the same page over and over again. you were tempted, but you didn't open the curtain.

your mind had run in circles after what your mother had said last night.

you had worried that everything she said had just been a temporary state, but today she had gotten up before you to make you breakfast. she had still looked a bit sick, but colour was slowly returning to her face and today the had a meeting with her doctor.

she was trying to find a therapist too. not only for her but also for the both of you. she wanted to repair your relationship and she was slowly becoming her normal self again.

she had been right, if you could forgive her, you would maybe eventually be able to forgive theo too.

the pain and fault that had rested on your shoulder had slowly evaporated into thin air, lifting everything that had made your and theo's relationship hard in the first place.

the doorbell rang at around six and you wondered who it was. your mother was still at the doctor's and your friends were already all at the concert hall. or at least that was what you had thought.

"what are you doing here?" you asked as your eyes fell upon enzo and april. "shouldn't you be there already? it's an hour drive"

"that's all enzo's doing" april rolled her eyes jokingly "you would think for someone that has claimed yours and theo's relationship to be none of his business, he would act like it wasn't, but here we are"

enzo ignored his girlfriend's words completely. "you have to forgive him, y/n" he almost begged "you should've seen how distraught he looked at rehearsals today. he's hating himself for what he did"

"enzo, i really-"

"i'd do anything, y/n" he interrupted "he's not himself without you"

"you should've seen him" april pointed to enzo "i let him drive my car this once and he turns it around in the middle of the street and drives back here. we were also already fourty minutes into the drive!"

you had almost laughed, if enzo hadn't been nearly crying in front of you.

"you're everything to him" enzo continued unfazed. "he has loved you for years! all of us saw it right before our very eyes, even your brother! theo loved you from afar for so long, don't you think you can love him back?"

all colour suddenly disappeared from april's face as realization dawned on her. "repeat that!" she said.

"what?" enzo turned his head at her confused "don't you think you can love him back?" he repeated, but april shook her head.

"i mean what you said before that" enzo and you looked both confused now and she rolled her eyes "theo loved you from afar!"

"what?" you asked, but it looked like enzo had realized what she meant.

"yeah!” he threw a fist into the air and turned around himself, loudly screaming.

"am i being filmed?" you looked around for invisible cameras.

"y/n" april laughed as enzo continued dancing behind her. "you're daisy"

"i'm what?" you asked with a dry laugh. "are you alright?"

"daisy buchanan" enzo said loudly "you're daisy buchanan and theo is jay gatsby"

"no, that's-"

april interrupted you, before you could tell them how crazy all of this sounded. "he loved her from afar" she quoted in a deeper voice, obviously mimicking theo.

as if that wasn't enough enzo chimed in, spotting a high-pitched voice, undoubtly quoting you "then he could've stayed on his fucking side of the lake, instead he threw these gigantic parties, just hoping for one single person to show up. is that what it is to you? having an unhealthy obsession with something that could lead to your death and calling it love?"

"he loved her because she wasn't easy. he loved her because being with her meant not knowing what's to come, because being with her meant to never grow bored" april continued.

"did we read the same book? because i read a book in which a foolish man spends his entire time obsessing over a woman who doesn't love him, atleast not as much as he loves her and later he dies, because he wants to save her and she doesn't even bat an eye, before she goes back to her husband" enzo rattled that down like he had learned text for a whole musical.

april smiled. “that’s why he defended daisy as if his life depended on it. because she is you!”

they both looked at you expectingly.

"i don't know what is weirder about this" you shook your head "that you both can effortlessly quote something theo and i said weeks ago or that you decided enzo should play me. that was the worst girl voice i ever heard, april's mimicking of theo was at least believable"

"that's what you took from this?" april sighed.

"she said we effortlessly quoted them" enzo pointed out "that means she remembers" he tapped a finger to his head.

"wait, you're right" april laughed "oh, you're so smitten!"

"we should really go now" enzo reminded with a look to his phone. "well, are you coming or not?" he asked.

"i don't know, guys"

"as is said before” she pressed “theo was obviously talking about you" april reminded "you're daisy! what's there not to know?!"

enzo seemingly had enough, as he massaged the space between his eyebrows. "why are you and theo always making it so unnecessarily hard? do you love him?"

you smiled "i do"

"do you want to see him?"

"yes"

"then what are you waiting for?!" he took your arm, pulled you out of the house and closed the door. "come on!" then he pushed you and april to the car.

"first he has time to come and get you and now we have to run like someone is chasing us" april muttered under her breath and you giggled.

enzo was really reminding you of a family father right now.

he started to drive just as your arse had hit the seat. you were able to close the door just in time, before it could make contact with the stone wall.

"enzo!" april scolded "that's still my car!"

"hold on tight, woman!" he screamed "we're not going to miss this concert!"

and he was right, because he turned the car as if he was testing at how much speed he could take the turn.

to your surprise, you made it in time, with all your body parts still attached.

"that was—"

"awful!" april interrupted as she opened the door and got out "you're never driving this car again!"

"sorry, sweetheart" enzo was close behind her and you followed suit, unsure if you could come inside without them.

inside the venue, enzo kissed april goodbye before he headed behind the stage. “let’s find a good place to watch them, yeah?” april smiled and you nodded.

you walked through the crowd, not too close to the stage, but good enough.

“hey” a voice said and both you and april turned around. “you’re y/n?” the guy was wearing a headset and clipboard. he looked like he belonged to the venue.

“yeah?” you asked surprised. were you not allowed to be here?

“mr l/n told me to come and get you” the guy explained “he has a vip place on the right side of the stage. he said you both were with him?”

you looked around the people in front of you until your eyes caught the space he was talking about. there was your father, staring right at the stage.

april followed your line of sight. “we don’t have to” she said to you, before she turned her head to the unfamiliar man “we would rather stay here”

“are you sure?” he asked and looked to you expectingly.

“no” you said quickly and were surprised by yourself “we’re coming”

you followed the man through the crowd of people.

“what are you doing?” april muttered, clutching your arm.

“i can’t always run away from difficult feelings”

“okay” she nodded “just give me a sign and i’ll knock him out”

“thank you, april” you smiled “you’re the greatest friend i ever had”

she smiled and you could see how much your compliment flattered her. “i’m glad that you are coming back to normal” she giggled, as she wrapped an arm around your body.

“hey april” your father greeted when you stood in front of him. april said a hesitant hello, before she nudged your arm and told you she would wait for you.

once april had left you alone, both of you didn’t know how to act.

“h-hey” your dad said, before he opted for an awkward side-hug.

“hi dad”

“how have you been?” he pushed a hand through his hair. you could see him struggling, he didn’t know what to say, just how you didn’t know.

you smiled and shrugged. he nodded.

“can we stop doing this?” you finally asked “this feels so forced. we haven’t talked in a year and that’s shit, but we don’t have to ignore it happened, okay?”

“i’m sorry” your dad shook his head “i thought all of this would be easier, but you’re not little anymore and-“

“-i’m not as forgiving as i used to be” you interrupted “what you did and what you said was actual bullshit, dad. you messed everything up and i think you’re responsible that i have such a hard time trusting people”

“peanut” he muttered.

“why didn’t you call?” you asked as tears fell over your cheeks “why didn’t you want to be my dad anymore?”

he couldn’t look you in the eyes. “what happened wasn’t your fault”

“i know”

“yeah, but i made you feel like it was” he admitted “i said horrible things and i brought you back home like i didn’t want to see you. i was ashamed, i thought you didn’t want to see me after what i had said to you that night”

“i needed my parents. there’s no excuse for you not atleast trying to be there” you shook your head “you could’ve tried” you added, crying.

your father didn’t say anything. he nodded, before he softly touched your shoulder. “i would love to try” he said gently “if you still want me to”

“yeah” you nodded “but i don’t think i can just forgive. it’s gonna need a lot more than a promise from you”

“i know” a tear slipped over his cheek. “i want to make it alright. theo made me realize what i did to you and i’m so ashamed, peanut” he gulped “i just want to be your dad again”

“i want you to be that” you softly hugged him and it felt more normal than before. “but we have to fix a lot for that to happen”

“i know and i will try to make it work again”

“hey, sorry” april leaned around the body of your dad “they are starting now”

you smiled at your dad, before you loosened the hug and all three of you walked further up to the barrier.

“hey guys!” theo said into the microphone “we’re cursed legacy. this is cheap wine!”

you watched him closely, how he gripped the microphone. his voice flew through the speakers, making you shiver. the veins on his necks were more obvious when he came to the chorus, pouring his heart right into your ears.

now you’re dancing along,

to his newest song,

laughing like you did when you were mine,

and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,

on the bottom of your lip,

reminder how it is,

but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

the song ended and you opened your eyes. april was jumping up and down, loudly screaming.

your father smiled impressed. “they’re really good”

“i know” you nodded proudly.

after cheap wine, cursed legacy played eight packs of cigarettes, you get me so high, only angel and neon nights.

before theo could announce the next song, dave fraser entered the stage.

you and april exchanged a confused look, when you noticed theo and dave eagerly discussing something. theo shook his head, more than once, before he sighed.

“and now” dave had grabbed the mic that had been standing next to enzo unused. “make some noise for pixie dream girl”

you clenched your teeth and noticed the look on theo’s face. he looked about as happy as you did.

enzo started playing the chords, blaise and mattheo starting right after him, before finally draco joined.

theo‘s eyes wandered over the crowd, before they finally landed on you.

no, you thought, as you saw the conflict in his eyes. then he did what you had feared. he didn’t start singing.

the band exchanged confused looks, before they repeated the same progression of chords. the crowd hadn’t noticed that theo missed his cue, but they would if he would continue to not move and just stare at you.

“is something wrong?” your father muttered beside you.

you didn’t take your eyes off of theo, but shook your head.

“i’m sorry” theo finally moved and started speaking. the music behind him died down. “i can’t do this” he sent his bandmates a regretful look, before he jumped down from the stage and started making his way through the crowd in the direction of the door.

you started walking at the same time. but not to him.

“y/n?” april called confused.

you walked behind the stage. maybe theo really wanted to throw everything away because he had been an idiot and wrote that dumb song, but you wouldn’t let him.

“hey” you said into the spare microphone, when you entered the stage. the crowd, who had been turned in the other direction as they looked after theo, turned around.

and so did theo.

you could almost hear the sigh of relief that escaped mattheo‘s lips. the rest of the band seemed to be relieved to see you too.

“ehh, i’m pixie” you smiled and you were as confident as if pixie really was your name. “and this is pixie dream girl”

you nodded to enzo, who promptly started playing. after a few seconds of confusion, the rest of the band joined in.

i’m an average girl, with tangled up hair,

my laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than he can bear.

i flutter around, like a clumsy old crow,

leaving chaos behind me, wherever i go

if you had to sing that stupid song, you would at least change the lyrics in a way that was fun.

he‘s pretty average too,

a thorn in my side, believe me it’s true,

he‘s up all night, screaming his songs,

i‘ll stay awake, and sing along!

you could see the smile enter theo‘s face.

the rest of the band seemed pretty impressed by your spontaneous ability to change the lyrics. you could also hear enzo add a few improvised riffs.

you raised your arm, waving for him to come and join you. he walked his way back through the crowd, as you sang the chorus.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,

in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,

she’s enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,

oh in her eyes, she‘s a pixie dream girl.

he entered the stage and his laughter was reaching your ears through the loudness of the crowd and the instruments. you laughed with him.

he smiled to his bandmates, shaking each of their hands as if to apologize, before he walked up behind his own microphone stand, a few feet away from you.

you nodded for him to start the next line. it seemed that he had caught on to your lyric changes.

she's a pixie dream girl, and i get the hype,

she sings in the shower, it‘s just my type.

she talks too loud, and she never shuts up,

but i’m pretty sure i won‘t ever get enough.

you turned your head and smiled at him. he looked so beautiful as he was illuminated by the stage lights. his hair seemed to glow and you felt the sudden need to touch it and push it out of his eyes.

you started singing the pre-chorus.

he's a daring challenge, a relentless test,

but i need him around, never giving me rest.

theo added the last two lines, before the chorus began again.

she'll chatter and flirt, driving me mad,

i'm losing control, it's really too bad.

it was the first time that you guys sang together in a long time. your voices harmonized perfectly and you could see enzo and matt smile at each other when they noticed.

theo smiled his typical smile, the one you grew to despise, but could not love less right now.

you got rid of the pullover you were wearing (deciding that it wasn't the right piece of clothing for a rock concert) and were left in just a top. the stage lights were hot.

you pulled your microphone from it's stand, walking across the stage. draco winked at you when you put the pullover down next to his keyboard stand. you smiled at him, as you started laughing.

you walked back to the microphone stand and continued singing the bridge.

but oh, she turns behind the window glass,

It’s not the first time, but maybe it’s the last

I just hope she’ll never stop her twirl,

oh, in my eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

before the instrumental part of the music started, you turned to theo, who was already looking at you. he took a step in your direction. you did the same.

"i'm sorry" he said "about everything, i should never have-"

you weren't even angry anymore. you had already forgiven him everything.

"no" you shook your head "i'm sorry for pushing you away at a time where we both needed each other"

"we both are idiots, huh?" he muttered over the music and you nodded laughing.

the band started playing the same set of chords again, dragging out the instrumental part.

"i love you" theo finally said. his words made your heart flutter. and up here on this warm stage you couldn't have been happier.

"i love you" you replied, the same sincerity in your voice.

theo's smile grew impossibly bigger, before he softly took your face in his hands and connected your lips. the crowd roared. you both turned to theo's microphone as you sang the chorus together.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,

in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,

she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,

oh, in my eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

the last few chords of the song rang out the crowd started cheering. you smiled down on all the people who were before you, before your eyes turned to the barrier, where april and your dad were still standing.

april was holding two thumbs up, while your dad looked a bit confused.

theo outstretched his hand and drew you close to his body. you hugged him tightly and he pressed a kiss on your head.

the crowd was still cheering and you could hear nearing footsteps. a second later, mattheo threw his arms around the both of you. it didn't take long for enzo, blaise and draco to join your group hug.

you laughed loudly as they began jumping around on the stage, loudly celebrating their very first official concert.

you were sure you could not have been happier than in that moment.

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy

additonal note:

this is cursed legacy's debut album. i was supposed to upload this in chapter four, but actually forgot..

leo is the one in the middle. (mattheo mentions it in chapter four)

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luizd3ad · 2 days

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Every Step Of The Way | Regulus Black x Reader

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Regulus Black x GN!Reader WC: 1,213 TW: heavy talks of depression, depressive episode, depressed reader, self invalidation, no use of Y/N. Author's Note: I've been having a hard time lately and I just needed a comfort fic, this is purely based off my own experience with depression and how I feel when I'm in a depressive episode. If you don't feel like me that's okay, mental health is different for everyone! Just remember you're so valid and so loved <3. Summary: You're just having a hard time but Regulus is always there for you.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

At some point your mind wasn't supposed to be your enemy anymore right? At some point the ‘teen angst’ was supposed to go away and you were supposed to be an adult with relatively healthy mental health right?

The crippling depression and anxiety was supposed to go away with puberty. At least that's what you'd been told, that things would get better and your mind wouldn't mess with you as much.That was what was supposed to happen, but when do things ever go as planned?

The only difference between now and your teen years was that you recognized the symptoms faster, you understood what was coming before it was fully there. Now every so often you can catch it, do things to make the bad thoughts go away or lessen, then other times… you would feel paralyzed.

The numbness would consume you, invite you in like an old friend, along with the loss of appeal to do anything. You didn't want to eat, drink, read, or listen to music.

You didn't want to do anything and sometimes without even realizing you would spent the whole day looking into nothingness.

Regulus would notice the mood change almost immediately. He would pick up on the sign and the overall change in your personality.

Not only would he notice because he was hyper aware of the behavioral changes around him (thank you Walburga. Sarcasm) but also because he dealt with the same feelings.

The emptiness and numbness of it all, it wasn't until Pandora explained it to him that he learned that those feelings were not exactly ‘normal’.

It was normal to be sad, to have a depressive episode here and there especially following a tragedy but it was the consistency that wasn't normal.

The feeling of emptiness that always felt like a shadow following you, the feeling of being the happiest you've ever been but still feeling that emptiness in the back of your head.

It was one of the things you both shared. Sometimes it wasn't a good thing. When both of you were in that state of mind it was hard to help each other, to be there for each other.

How could you stop someone from drowning if you're drowning yourself?

But other times it was a good thing. You knew each other's signs, you two could pick up on the signs before the other person even realized that they were slipping, sometimes. It gave you time to either try and stop it before it went too far or just get prepared.

This was one of those times Regulus knew he needed to prepare.

He had seen you starting to detach for about a day now. Regulus knew this was going to be one of those episodes he couldn't stop, the kind where you were there physically but not mentally.

You just were floating through your days, you were on auto pilot almost the whole day; you weren't really listening, hardly responded and if you did it was short.

Regulus preparing for this meant doing a few things, taking a few days off work, letting Sirius, Pandora and Barty know that he wouldn't be really available so that he could focus solely on you. Making sure your favorite foods were home and ready to encourage you to eat, having some of your favorite movies, books, everything and anything accessible in case you were in the mood to do anything or if you just wanted to try and distract yourself for a while.

It also meant mentally preparing himself to be understanding and patient since it wasn't exactly his strong suit but he'd do anything for you.

When an episode fully hits it isn't always you wake up and start to feel depressed. Sometimes you would be fine most of the day and then suddenly you were hit with a wave of nothingness.

Most of the time nothing would trigger it, nothing would happen, your brain would just decide that it was time to be sad, to be numb, you guessed.

“Mon Amore, would you like to eat something? You can have anything you want.” Regulus touched the side of your face and brought you out of your head. You just shook your head not really looking at him. “No, thank you.” You whisper.

He just nodded and sat next to you. He knew when to pick his battles and since you ate that morning he knew this shouldn't be the hill he dies on.

The rest of the night was spent mostly silence with a few words exchanged here and there, Regulus was there ready and willing to do whatever you needed him to do to make you feel better.

He got you to eat a little eventually and you shared a shower with him. He had helped you wash yourself since you didn't have any motivation or energy to do so.

By the end of the night you were both cuddled up in bed while Regulus ran his hand up and down your back just to let you know he was there.

He liked when you knew he was there, he felt like it helped even just a little, especially to make you feel a little less alone.

Eventually you broke the silence with a sight. “I'm sorry.” You felt regulus's hand stop moving, he stayed silent for a moment.

“Why are you apologizing? You haven't done anything.” By the sound of his voice you knew he was frowning, he knew exactly why you were apologizing but a part of him was hoping, praying, that he was wrong.

“For being this way. You shouldn't have to deal with this. We're not kids anymore, I should be over these feelings by now.”

Regulus sat up, making you sit up in the process, reaching over to the lamp on the bedside table turning the light on. “Do you choose to feel this way? Do you make the conscious decision to feel like this?” Regulus was looking you in the eyes with raised eyebrows waiting for a response.

“Not necessarily, but-”

“Exactly, you don't. You can't control your emotions. You didn't ask to feel this way nor do you choose to. There's no point in apologizing for something that you have no control over. Your brain is amazing and beautiful but sometimes it isn't the nicest to you and that's okay. Do you know why? Because even if your brain is mean sometimes it still makes you who you are and you're so amazing, mon cœur. We’ll take care of this together like we always do. It's going to be hard sometimes but it is not impossible, and I'll always be here with you every step of the way, because I love you more than anything, tu es ma raison de vivre, mon amour.”

Regulus cupped your cheek and whipped a few tears you didn't know you had shedded. All you could do was whisper a ‘thank you’ as you threw yourself in his arms.

You fell asleep that night in Regulus’s arms while he whispered sweet nothing to you.

You weren't better by any means but you felt loved, you felt understood. You knew that no matter how hard things got, Regulus would be there for you, every step of the way.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

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