#it should be assigned reading for some of you
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ㅤ ꣑୧ㅤㅤ:ㅤCANDLELITㅤㅤ𝒻t.ㅤㅤ성혼
﹙10097﹚ SYNOPSIS . . . the dating scene sucks, especially when the only person you want to be with is your roommate.
꣑୧ GENRE . . . roommate au, 'i hate them but they're hot' kind of energy
꣑୧ WARNINGS . . . profanities, drinking i mean lots of drinking we need alcohol shortage here, sunghoon smokes, mentions of one night stands, one very suggestive make out scene in the fourth section, undertones of cheating but not from sunghoon or reader, implications of sex although it's very light
꣑୧ NOTES . . . hi ( _ _; ) drowning in nervousness as i'm posting this. it's my first long fic after months ... i think the last one was in may or june 23 ... so please be nice >< don't know why but this didn't turn out how i wanted it to and it's definitely not one of my proudest works, but i hope u guys like it nonetheless huhu TT happy reading and please rb and drop feedback, it's highly appreciated ^_^
001. WHERE THERE’S HEAVEN THERE’S HELL
sunghoon is spiralling again.
a part of it is because of the endless assignments from classes, but that’s no news. he knows it’s his fault for procrastinating and waiting till two days before the due date to even think about working on them— unlike jake who somehow attends classes probably four times a week and is seen in the football fields instead, and still manages to be the first one to submit his essays. it’s admirable, annoying at most. when he sat down to do his sports science project three days before it was due, sunghoon realised why his professor gave them two months to finish it.
but realising your mistakes and working on them to be a better version of yourself are two different things.
for one, sunghoon believes those assignments are useless. no one cares about the impact of sports on society, maybe except heeseung and jake but again, in sunghoon’s mind, those two are never important. second, he’s too perfect to be working on himself. sunghoon is the best version of himself. he was born the day his uncle died, and his dad inherited the entire chain of restaurants his family owns across the country. he’s too amazing to be worrying about getting a degree he can buy— he thinks the university should be honoured he’s choosing to study— but that’s simply because his mother doesn’t want him to turn out like his sister.
back to the matter at hand— as he puts the beer can on the table and sits back on the couch, his eyes travel to the door yet again. seventh time in just a minute, he’s keeping a record of how you make him wait.
if there’s one thing he hates is being irresponsible ( coming from the great king of irresponsibility himself. ) you said you’d be back by twelve, and it’s half past one in night and not a soul knows your whereabouts. thirteen texts, seven missed calls, his phone is at forty-one percent and sunghoon is at his limit. if it wasn’t for your mom he wouldn’t give two flying fucks about where you are and how you’ve been.
sunghoon is actually surprisingly obedient and well-mannered, as opposed to the popular belief. he gave you and your mother the whole tour of the apartment the day you moved in. even made some coffee which isn’t much but your mother had loved him. he could see it in the way she looked at him with those sweet eyes, holding his hands as if he was her own son, and asking him to look after you.
‘please take care of my daughter,’ sunghoon thought he was getting married. instead of a wedding bell there were warning sirens going off. to this day he doesn’t know why she asked him that, minutes after she saw a dead cactus in the balcony that he killed by overwatering. he couldn’t even say no to her and just nodded, looking over at you briefly and noticing how you look like you were a bit embarrassed. sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s so serious about ‘taking care’ of you. he thought it would be easy, but you had to be devil’s favourite spawn and sunghoon happens to be your target.
however, he can’t take this anymore. he has a morning class and waiting till two am while drinking beer has done more damage to sunghoon than it should. he gets up from the couch with a sigh, leaving the empty cans unattended for a night as he makes a mental note to clean tomorrow. it isn’t until a click from the door stops him in his tracks.
“i’m back,” your voice is quiet, a yawn following immediately after your words as you look down while taking off your shoes. you’ve been drinking again, sunghoon can tell it from a mile away.
“you’re late,” he speaks over the silence, hands on his torso as he’s giving you those squinted eyes and doubtful looks. if sunghoon didn’t know any better, he would assume you fucked someone at the club with how messy you look at the moment.
“yeah well, we had to take gigi to the hospital,” your lazy voice isn’t much louder than a whisper. you stumble towards your room, a hiccup followed soon after by the same quiet and slurred tone. “she ate something weird,”
he huffs at your words, knowing it would very well be just another excuse. “you could’ve at least texted,”
“my phone died,”
“i’m sure your friends would be happy to lend you their phone,” he pauses when he feels himself getting a bit annoyed. a soft sigh falls off his lips as he looks down at the tiled floor before looking up and speaking in a much calmer voice. “i’m just saying it’s not exactly safe to be out alone on the streets this late at night,”
“i wasn’t alone,” that piques his interest. “jay drove me back,”
and sunghoon felt his whole world stop. “jay?”
“yeah, jay, park jongseong,” your voice is surprisingly sweet when you take his name and it bothers sunghoon for some reason. his face scrunches up when you bite back a smile, hoping it’s the alcohol not because of what he thinks it is. “he’s nicer than i thought,”
sunghoon is not unfamiliar with the name park jongseong.
he hears it every day on and off the campus, more often than he likes. first things first, he’s just as popular as jake, for being american, which brings sunghoon to the question— why in the world would he leave america to study in korea when jay could have attended one of the ivy leagues with his face and money?
and the second and more important question, why in the world is park jongseong dropping you home at two in the night?
sunghoon only watches you in disbelief and astonishment as you stumble to your room, mumbling something incoherently. your words ring in his ear like sirens. ‘he is better than you’ jay is better than sunghoon. he scoffs almost offensively in your direction. that has to be the biggest lie of the twenty-first century.
he follows you to your room, reaching out to grab your arms when you almost trip but you manage to balance yourself. he opens the door and turns on the lights for you. “why were you with him to begin with?”
“oh, you don’t know?” and you turn around with eyes wide open as he shakes his head like a deer in the headlight. “he asked me out,”
sunghoon didn’t get a single ounce of sleep last night.
it’s your fault, clearly. had you been back earlier on the time, nothing would’ve happened. and jay— sunghoon sights at the thought of him, eyes narrowing as he grits on his pen as if he’s going to break it into two.
“dude, are you hungry?” jake pokes sunghoon by his shoulder, dragging the latter out of his trail of thoughts.
“what?” sunghoon shoots a blank look, one that makes his friend sigh in concern. afterall, it’s not everyday he sees sunghoon chewing on a pen. “i’m not,”
“you’ve been out of it since the morning,”
and sunghoon has been out of it since jay’s name fell from your lips.
he’s not your friend, definitely not the first guy you’ve called by his name after sunghoon. but something doesn’t sit right. even after tossing and turning in bed for the whole night, he can’t figure out what bothers him more— the fact you said jay is better than him, or the fact that he asked you out on a date.
it’s the first one, he convinces himself. who you date is none of his business, he can’t be arsed enough to care about your love life or relationship status. ( although, he does care a little because he’s nosy. ) what bothers him more is that jay is, to put it in simple words, a player. all that face and no empathy for emotions is a waste, and to think you don’t know this— or maybe you do and yet still chose to go out with him, is beyond sunghoon’s comprehension.
“what do you think about jay?” he asks abruptly, catching jake’s attention, looking at him a little too intently for an answer.
“he’s a nice guy,” a casual reply before he gets back to his assignment before jake looks back at sunghoon with newly found interest. “he turned in my spanish essay last week, oh and drove me back from the bar a few days ago after you ditched me. why?”
sunghoon simply shakes his head, getting back to his books even though his focus is nowhere near studies. at this point, he doesn’t know if it’s jay distracting him or you. even your words keep playing over and over again in the back of his head. jay and nice in the same sentence doesn’t seem fit. sure, he helps his friends and drops his girl back home, but that’s only three days before there’s a new girl in his arms.
002. RUNNING OUT OF SANITY
sunghoon doesn’t hear the door click open when you come back from your classes, too busy in the balcony while humming a tune that you recognise immediately. you take off your shoes, noticing how he taps his foot along with the melody, and it’s quiet in the apartment, apart from the sound of traffic and wind rustling through the trees around.
“i don’t like people who smoke,” smoking is not on your list of likes, but you find yourself next to sunghoon whenever he’s with a cigarette. just like now, when you return from yet another one of your dates— or meet-ups as you prefer to call it right now— with jay. it wasn’t really planned. you bumped into him after classes and he was on his way back home, so you asked him for a coffee.
he almost jumps at your sudden voice but manages to compose himself, scowing at the distaste in your expression before scoffing, the cigarette still dancing between his lips. “good think, i’m not looking forward to be liked by you,”
he studies the frown on your face, glares as if your eyes are shooting daggers in his direction. it’s amusing to him how easy it is to get on your nerves. he leans against the metal railings, hair falling over his forehead. his eyes stay on your for a few seconds before he holds the cigarette between his index and middle finger, putting it away from his mouth and blowing out the smoke in your directions. he laughs mockingly when you step back, fanning out the smoke with your hands, cursing under your breath.
“are you crazy?!” you exclaim in annoyance, coughing slightly at his poor attempt at entertainment. your frown deepens when he mumbles a quiet apology although not meaning it, from the looks of it, and lifts the cigarette back to his lips.
“you’re back early,” he states casually, tapping the cigarette butt and watching the ash fall down from the balcony before a taunting chortle falls off his lips. “did jay dump your ass or something?”
your nose scrunches up at his actions, although mostly at the tobacco you can still smell in your air. you look down at the road, watching a mercedes passing by. “no, he had to go somewhere so he left early,”
“i knew it! he’s good for nothing,” and he drops the cigarette to the floor, crushing it with his foot even though at the back of his mind, he knows you’re going to yell at him for cleaning that up. “what kind of guy can’t even spend time with his girlfriend?”
“we’re not dating,”
“that’s worse!” he emphasises, and a pause follows as he looks at you with a confused expression. “wait— didn’t you say he asked you out?”
“he did, but he said he wants to wait until exams are over,” there’s a hint of displeasure in your voice. his eyes travel down to your fingers, especially the ring you’re fiddling with before they’re back on your face when you speak again. “we just decided to hang out,”
he practically scoffs at your words, quite literally in disbelief. a knowing sigh comes out of his mouth as he stands straight, this time standing with his back against the railing, feeling the cold metal though his thin white t-shirt. a part of him wants to laugh at your stupidity and point at how naive you are, while another part of him wants to find jay and beat him to pulp. he doesn’t know why there’s anger pooling in his stomach at the mere thought of jay just messing around with you.
“what a sick bastard,” he huffs with a tincture of annoyance in his tone. “how much do you want to bet he’s playing with you?”
“you’re the one who’s sick,” and even though it clicks with him that you’re referring to a few minutes earlier when he smoked all in your face, sunghoon still frowns when you call him sick. “he’s just prioritising his studies, there’s nothing wrong with that. at least he doesn’t smoke while being all up my face,”
you two just bask in silence after that.
he doesn’t have much to say— actually he does, but he doesn’t know how to put it in a decent, coherent way. of course, your reaction won’t be the most pleasant if he told you he wants to punch jay’s good for nothing handsome face. he wonders what you’re thinking when he looks over at you. you seem happy whenever you talk about your supposed ‘future boyfriend,’ yet it’s evident that you’re upset. he likes to think you’re having your doubts too. it's reassuring to him for some reason— because that’s good for you, of course. if you’re upset, you have your doubts, and if you have your doubts you might not fall victim to whatever sick game jay is playing.
“oh, actually, he doesn’t smoke,” but then you speak in a matter-of-fact way, as if comparing him to jay before giving him a mocking smile. “he’s better than you,”
those words ring in his mind for a good while.
you go back inside and he hears you shut the door to your room as an annoyed sigh falls off his lips. hearing that jay is nice from jake was another thing, but hearing to say he’s better than him leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. and he doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way, these little changes in how he usually is, it’s new. it’s frustrating him out.
it isn’t until his phone vibrates that he’s dragged out of his ocean of thoughts. his brows furrow when he notices the time, having realised that he basically wasted the entire noon even though he didn’t attend classes after giving heeseung an excuse that he’s sick. his eyes squint at the sender, and then a groan escaping his lips when he opens to read it.
noh chaeun 4:15pm
hoon! my last two classes have been cancelled
are you up for some coffee?
sunghoon doesn’t reply, rather leaving his classmate’s messages on seen, too bothered by his inner turmoil to spend time with her. it’s not like him to be this way, to be so bothered over something that doesn’t concern him. you’re definitely not someone so significant and jay is definitely not the first guy you’re with. in fact, he has seen you kiss that guy from one of your classes— as much as he hates to recall that incident now— and had sneaked up to tell your mother about it over the phone when she had called you.
you’ve never had a serious relationship, not after meeting him. in his head, you always came back to him and he’d be lying if he hadn’t joked about it with his friends during the initial few weeks after you had moved in. when he had mentioned to jake that you’re pretty and his friend had teased him a few days later, saying his ‘crush’ was with this other guy, sunghoon, did in fact, say he doesn’t care because you always come back to him; or rather his apartment, actually, but whatever fits the joke.
that day, he had a good laugh out of it and the joke died back then itself, more so after he started complaining about you to his friends. your habits, your actions, the things you say that tick him off, your quirky and quick remarks— everything. perhaps, even about your habit of arriving late on weekends from parties and ruining his sleep because you forget the key most of the time, so he has to wake up and open the door for you, but not guys, never guys.
it hurts his head to even try and figure it out, to find the reasoning behind the pang in his chest every time you mention jay. he likes to think it’s just harmless competition although for no reason, even though both of them have done plenty of things to piss each other off just for the fun of it. sunghoon thinks he can live with it and walks back inside to the living room, until he sees you walking out of your room on phone with someone, the name of he who shall be mentioned rolling off your tongue again, and he finally pulls out his phone with a frustrated sigh.
sunghoon 4:21pm
sure, i’ll pick you up in ten
“actually, my mom wants to invite your family over for dinner this weekend,” the girl in front of him speaks with a smile after muttering a quiet thank you to the waiter after he gets their order. “she’s very grateful for the donation your dad made for our art gallery and wants to thank properly,”
“talk to my parents, then,” it’s a simple reply, too bland and forced for her liking.
sunghoon hasn’t spared her a single look in the past ten minutes that they’ve been sitting together at the table. firstly, he doesn’t know why he drove to a restaurant when she asked for a coffee. it’s not even close to dinner time, and the awkward yet sweet smile on her face didn’t make it better for him, so he ordered starters and drinks to drag their little impromptu dinner out.
“sunghoon, to be honest,” chaeun tries to strike up a conversation again, despite the constant lack of effort from his side. “i want you—”
“hey, isn’t that jongseong?” and he cuts her off immediately, finger pointing outside the glass panes beside them as he stares in the direction behind her with brows knit together in shock. “who’s that with her?”
“jongseong?” she repeats the name before turning her head, forming an ‘o’ when she spots a familiar figure through the multitude on the streets. “ah, that’s myung jihye. she has been pursuing him for a while. i guess he finally agreed,”
“they’re dating?!” his voice is full of surprise and disbelief unlike hers, so seemed to be happy for the girl instead. he stares outside with a heavy silence as the couple disappears between the crowd before looking at the girl in front of him.
“oh, i wouldn’t say that…i don’t know but it’s possible they are.” it doesn’t miss her attention how sunghoon’s fingers tighten around the fork. “everybody in our major knows jihye has crush on him and they’re probably a thing by now,”
and he wishes you were here with him right now so that he could show you the true colours of the dear guy you’ve been going out with, the one who’s supposedly ‘better’ than him. he wants you to realise that his words weren’t false and he isn’t sick, after all, and if you’d cry, he would be down to tell you it’s not the end of the world. that there are a hundred other guys better than jay, ones who won’t even breathe in front of another woman, who’d treat you better— hell, i can treat you better if you ever give me a chance— and then a pause in his train of thoughts.
he looks at chaeun, who’s looking back at him with a perplexed look and her own set of questions. his mind replays those words yet again, and he screams internally.
what the heck?!
surprisingly enough, sunghoon has been thinking about jay for the whole evening now, obviously not in a good way. his eyes keep travelling to the knife stand on the kitchen island occasionally and every single time, he has to convince himself that murder is not the right answer to anything.
for some reason, he can’t stop imagining your smiles while on date with jay. not that he has ever seen those— wish i could— as he slaps himself out of his state of mind yet again. not only that man is playing with you but on jihye who’s apparently his girlfriend? he lets out the ugliest scoff known to mankind, because in sunghoon’s head, jay is a sick joke made by biology.
he waits for you to return from your shopping spree for about an hour, having beer as a company. he tries to stay awake although his eyes get droopy, and then every ounce of sleep leaves his body when he hears the door unlock.
“yn,” he practically jumps out of the couch, it almost scares you. he accidentally bumps into the living room table on the way, knocking an empty can of beer to the floor but too busy to bother picking it up. “i have to tell—” his eyes go down to the eleven shopping bags in your hands, as he counts them. “— wait, what did you shop so much for?”
“oh, i have to attend a family wedding next month,” his chest feels warm when he sees you smiling and looking so excited, and it’s making him go crazy on the inside because he doesn’t know what is happening to him. for some reason, he starts imagining you in a gown, like the one you wore for the fresher’s party, but then he forces his mind to get back to the point. “i’m thinking of asking jay to be my date,”
and his heart drops down to his stomach.
this has to be a fucking joke, and he tells himself. for a split second, he thinks he didn’t hear you properly. maybe you said jake because, well, jake did tweet a ‘date for rent’ form five months ago when he needed money to buy tickets for a post malone concert that cost more than his gentle monster glasses ( not that he got any money but at least they got a good laugh out of it. )
you remove your shoes and put the shopping bags on the couch before sitting down as well, letting out a heavy sigh. “you look like you saw a ghost,”
“a ghost would’ve been better,” he catches you looking at him when he mumbles under his breath, sort of grateful you didn’t hear him before sunghoon would rather not have another argument with you over how jay is not only a bad choice, he’s the worst choice.
he looks over at you when you pull out your phone, fingers fluttering over the screen as you text someone with a giddy smile. he considers telling you what he had seen earlier, but god, he loved to see you smile like that. the way you press your lips together to suppress a grin, looking ever so happy as if you have won a lottery. he doesn’t think you’ve ever smiled like that at him, and it aggravates him even more when he realises that you probably smile like that every time you see jay.
jay is getting everything he isn’t deserving of, and it pisses sunghoon off down to his bones.
but again, he can’t bring himself to tell you the truth. you look too happy for your own good, it pains him physically to even imagine your reaction when you’ll come to know the truth. and then he pulls himself together, telling himself that it is your fault in the first place to trust someone like jay and ignore the warning signs he was giving you.
in the end, he leaves without having any further conversations with you, going to bed two hours earlier than usual even though he knows he isn’t going to get any sleep. sunghoon is convinced he’s losing his mind, faster than a day ago actually. he lets out a frustrated groan and covers himself with his blanket, hoping to catch some sleep.
it’s going to be yet another long day tomorrow.
003. A CHANGE OF STANCE
sunghoon thinks you’re hot.
what the fuck?
“i asked something,” you remind, pulling him out of his trail of thoughts and he flinches slightly, making your brows furrow in confusion. “how do i look?”
“huh— what? oh,” he takes in your appearance again. hair down, make up done— you’re wearing your favourite lip tint? and the best dress he has seen you in so far, looking so mind blowing it actually blows his mind and short circuits his brain.
even your favourite lip tint … sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s looking at your lips in the first place but little does he know he’s fucked.
absolutely. completely. fucked.
nonetheless, he manages to compose himself, clearing his throat and sitting up ever so elegantly on the couch, legs crossed, the magazine still in his hands. “you look…t-terrific,”
you can’t help but get even more confused at his words, wondering if it was a bad idea to even ask him for his opinion, even though you play along. “like in a good way or a bad way?”
“in a terrific way,” he blurts out, eyes wide open as panic settles in slowly inside his stomach, and he’s stuttering, shocked, surprised, fucked, again. “you look terrific in a terrific way…so terrifically terrific in the most terrific way possible,”
“are you high?”
well, he would say he is! never in the two years that he has known you did sunghoon think he’d find himself floored, figuratively, and speechless, literally, at the sight of you. and he’s not saying you look bad on other days. you look good, in fact. good as in plain and presentable, but never in a good good way and definitely not in a hot way, of course.
“anyway, i’m going out. receive my parcel for me if it arrives,” you move to put on your shoes, taking a few seconds to pick between the two you think would suit your outfit. for a moment, you consider asking him to help you choose— as you look at him up and down peripherally, and he looks terrified. and you shrug it off, grabbing one of your loafers.
“where are you going?” he asks after a good minute of silence, sounding calmer than earlier as he gets off the couch and walks up to you. his nose scrunches up in disapproval as your hands move to one of your jimmy choos for a brief second, before you decide to go back to your initial pick.
“date,” he takes a moment to register your words, despite this happening many times.
a date. he scoffs softly, looking away, arms crossed.
a date, again. sunghoon doesn’t give a fuck.
“with jay,” you continue, this time with a sweet smile on your face that makes his heart flutter for some reason. maybe, he does give a fuck.
now, sunghoon should feel bad for his fellow friend of a friend because he’s on a date with you, but instead he wants to snap his neck in two. the name is starting to give him an ick— jay this, jay that. you’re hanging out with jay, having coffee with jay, going on a date with jay, shopping with jay, next would be going to bed with jay— he pauses immediately, shaking his head. he doesn’t really like the sound of that.
“whatever,” he tells himself when you walk out of that door, looking all pretty and excited. he doesn’t know why he’s getting so worked up over a date, that too with someone who— according to sunghoon and chaeun— is dating someone else. he would pay to see you back home all miserable and he would point fingers at you and laugh, saying he told you already while you had your conscience and rationality clogged up with the possibility of getting dicked down.
but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re on a date with jay fucking park. and you’re looking hot.
he sighs, slouching back on the couch, looking outside at the bright blue skies and then sighs again. he needs to be lobotomized.
it’s three in the noon and sunghoon is drowning himself in misery and pity. and soju.
a glass after another and then another, along with two empty bottles already on the table. even the owners are giving him a weird look and heeseung can only let him ruin his reputation so much.
“there, there,” the senior takes the half empty bottle of soju from his hand and puts it aside, sighing pitifully at sunghoon. “that’s enough for today. you need to stop drinking,”
“heeseung,” sunghoon looks up at the guy in front of him, looking horribly pitiful, eyes a bit unfocused from the alcohol settling in his system. “do you know yn?”
and heeseung pauses for a few moments, not knowing what prompted him to ask this question. more so when you and heeseung went to the same highschool and even were in the music club. he nods slightly in doubt, raising his glass to his lips. “of course,”
“do you think he’s pretty?”
“of course,”
“do you think she’s hot?”
“of course,” it takes heeseung quite a few seconds to respond and sunghoon sort of wants to punch him in the face for agreeing because he feels a certain way when others find you hot— but he would claim it’s soju giving him heartburns. “why are you even asking this suddenly?”
“she went on a date with jay,” he responds in the most miserable and sullen voice known to mankind. his shoulders practically slouching at the mention of he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned, finger tracing the rim of the glass in front of him with incoherent whines falling off his lips.
“so what?” jake interjects, beckoning the owner for yet another bottle for soju. it was necessary, as heeseung had warned earlier while arriving at the restaurant, considering sunghoon’s impromptu text about wanting to meet up.
“jake, did you hear what i said? she’s on a date with jay. park. jong. seong,” the youngest spells out every syllable, sitting up straight as he gets defensive. “she thinks he’s madly in love with her or something but she’s wrong! the day i went out with chaeun, i saw him with jihye and guess what? chaeun said everyone knows they’re a thing but apparently, yn doesn’t know this. i’ve told her so many times that he is not worth it but she won’t understand she’s fucking dumb oh my god,”
and…silence.
absolute fucking maddening silence that made sunghoon go even more insane before jake finally decides to speak, albeit in disbelief.
“that monologue was unnecessary,” the foreigner pours in another glass for the three of them, filling them up completely, knowing this is going in a new direction yet a one that has been anticipated by both him and heeseung. “besides, since when do you care about her?”
“she’s my roommate,”
“you like her,” heeseung exclaims, and silence follows again for a few seconds before sunghoon gasps scandalously, slamming his glass down on the table which turns a few heads in their direction as jake mutters an embarrassed apology for it.
“i don’t,” sunghoon speaks in a voice much calmer than his previous tone, even leaning in towards the table to put emphasis on his words. jake pours himself another glass, scoff at his words while shaking his head mockingly which only pisses him off more.
“i knew this would happen,” heeseung continues, stating it as a matter of fact while nudging jake to pour him a glass as well. “saw this coming from a mile away when you cried over her going on a blind date the last time you got drunk,”
he can’t point out when that must’ve happened, but he doesn’t refute his words, simply letting his eyes travel across the room for a few moments. the frown on his lips deepens when he meets jake’s knowing gaze as he gets defensive once again. “i’m telling you, i don’t like her,”
“you said that about hello kitty but she’s everywhere in your room now,” he turns his phone with the screen up when he feels jake’s eyes on it, or particularly on the hello kitty sticker on his phone cover as the boy nudges him for another glass. “go on, you’ll need it.”
and sunghoon does, drinking more than he usually does thanks to jake filling his glass again and again for the sake of his sob story. the cab drops him in front of his apartment and he stumbles his way to the elevator. the silence sobers him out for some reason as he leans against the walls of the elevator and thinks about you.
perhaps you’re still with jay, sharing smiles and stories, kisses if you’re brave enough. he likes to think you are not, that you would chicken out— it makes him feel better about himself. he imagines you holding hands with him and then shrugs that thought off his mind just as quickly, huffing at the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth as he walks out of the elevator once it reaches his floor.
sunghoon planned to take a shower and sleep, but every thought water downs to nothing when he spots you crouching next to the door with knees pressed up to your chest. he can’t see your face, but he knows you’re sad, and it makes him stop in front of you, his heart accelerating when you look up at him with glistening eyes.
you look miserable.
and sunghoon has no reaction. he’s frozen, hands on his side as he stares at you. he was supposed to laugh at you for your stupidity. but you look so utterly sad and heart broken, god, he wants to punch jay in his throat. yet again, every single thought leaves his mind when his eyes fall back on your face, his hands instinctively opening out to you as he speaks in a voice as soft as a feather.
“let’s go inside,”
004. CANDLELIT
“he said it was a bet,” you speak over the silence, fiddling with your fingers. you look up at sunghoon— who’s sitting with legs crossed in front of you while you’re curled up in one corner of the couch. “and that he never meant to drag it out for so long but he didn’t know how to tell me,”
“a bet?” he scoffs bitterly, looking away for a fraction of a second before his eyes are back on you. “what an asshole,”
it’s not the first time sunghoon has said that. in fact, asshole is all and the only word he uses to define jay. you still think it was a stretch, for jay isn’t that bad. sure, he lied to you and played with your feelings— which you will never accept that you had feelings for him because you don’t want to look pathetic— but he wasn’t rude. well, at least he paid for all the three dates you two went on with the locations being some high end restaurants or bakeries.
on the other hand, sunghoon stares at you in silence. his eyes trace over your sullen face, and then to your fingers. for a second, he considers holding your hands…roommates can do that at least, right? to comfort one another, but then he catches you looking up at him and he averts his gaze to a distant corner. “don’t start crying now!”
“i’m not! i didn’t even like him that much…” and he can’t help but suppress his smile at the pout on your face as you refuse to look at him. it’s adorable, he never thought he would ever say that, but it’s true. your mannerisms are cute, you’re cute, and it’s eating his brain cells.
“is that so? you talked about him like you two were in love or something,”
“stop it!”
he stares at you quietly for a few seconds again. even though you’re being defensive out of embarrassment right now, trying to prove to him that you’re not heartbroken, sunghoon knows you’ll be crying the moment you’re behind the closed doors of your room. on other days, he wouldn’t care so much. not more than giving a few pats on a back and telling you to suck it up despite the concern in his voice. today, however, he feels differently.
you got played. it’s your heart that’s broken. you feel like a fool, and yet sunghoon is sitting in front of you, trying to find words amidst awkwardness and hesitation. his heart feels heavy for you. it’s unfathomable on his part.
he suddenly remembers the day you mentioned that jay is better than him. he almost scoffs at that, again. well, you might harbour feelings for the american guy but at least sunghoon never had you holding back your tears. and he swears it would never come to that, if you ever have feelings for him because sunghoon would be a better boyfriend— and then he comes back to his senses as soon as those words register inside his brain, cheeks heating up at the sudden thought before he clears his throat.
“do you want ramen?” he manages to change the topic ever so swiftly, getting up from the couch and already walking to the kitchen without waiting for your response. apparently, getting away from you would ease his heartbeat, although hearing your voice has just as much effect on him as your presence or a mere thought of you.
“are you cooking?”
he lets out a breathy laugh at your words, getting two packs of ramen from the shelf. “of course, do you think i’d ask you to cook when you look like you went through a divorce and lost the custodies of all your three kids?”
you frown at his words, although ending up laughing at them just a second later. it’s hard to not laugh at how silly he is sometimes, if you ignore his annoying tendencies. sunghoon puts the water to boil, fighting back a smile at the sound of your laughter. it’s better than seeing you all sad over a guy who doesn’t deserve you.
you get off the couch as well, making your way to the kitchen, wanting to help him since he listened to your sob story. it’s quiet, and you hear slight rumbling outside as you take a quick look at the weather outside through the windows and then within a few seconds, thunder pierces through the silence hanging in the room.
sunghoon flinches visibly, freezing in his stance before the sound of heavy rain fills the kitchen. he turns on the electric stove and it blows out. all the lights in the apartment go out, darkness settling in and disturbed just as quickly as the room fills with bright flashes of light, illuminating your face for a short second before it’s dark again.
“wait, i’ll get my phone— oh,” you reach out for the back pocket of your trousers, quickly get your phone and turn it on for the flash light before it powers off. “out of battery,”
he takes a blind step into the darkness when it thunders again and he notices you standing with your arms around yourself when the light surges in the room for a moment again. he hopes you won’t push him away if he puts his arm around you, but then you two bump into each other. a quiet apology finds its way out of your lips, and he can tell you’re flustered.
“where are the candles?” he asks to distract you from the fact that he’s holding your hand and pulling you aside gently, so you don’t crash into each other again. your hands feel oddly warm in this cold weather, and it only flutters his heart even more.
“second shelf from the right i think,” your voice is interrupted by thunder again and your hands instinctively tighten around his fingers. and then a loud thud follows, causing you to gasp slightly. “are you okay?”
“i can’t fucking see,” his voice is strained, oozing off pain as he lets go off your hands. you open your mouth to speak before he bumps into something again. something falls off the counter, perhaps the spoon by the sound of it and he apologises shortly after. it’s harder to navigate around his own apartment, more than he had imagined.
sunghoon manages to find the candles, setting them on the counter with pure intuition before lighting one of it up with the lighter he always carries around in his pocket. he turns around, almost bumping into you and before he could say anything, he sees you pressed up against one of the counters, face illuminated by the dim candle light.
you’re close, too close, he’s afraid you can hear his heart going crazy at the proximity. his mind is telling him to step aside but he’s too lost looking in your eyes, ( as you are too ) with you looking so impossibly beautiful under the faint golden glow.
“is this okay?” he whispers softly and you simply nod, not a word coming out of your mouth as you find yourself entranced by his face. sunghoon has always been aphrodite’s son, as his admirers would call him, and now that you’re seeing him so closely, you’re realising he’s something much more beautiful.
it doesn’t slip your attention how his gaze settles on your lips for a quick second, your body tensing up at the sudden movement. your breath hitches as he leans closer, dipping his head down. your heart is racing while he feels like his heart has stopped— it’s timeless, as he finds himself just a few centimetres away from your lips, not wanting to stop even though he gives you a chance to pull back, whispering softly, “can i?”
you nod. and sunghoon doesn’t waste another second, capturing your lips with his.
it’s still at first, with your lips only pressed up together for a few seconds. it’s only a few seconds after he pulls back ever so slightly, and then tilts his head to the other side and goes in for another kiss, this time moving his lips slowly against yours. he feels you tense up for a brief while and then melting as you kiss him back, your fingers lacing around his tenderly. you flinch when it thunders again, breaking the kiss, but feeling shivers down your spine as you feel his breath on your lips.
he takes a few seconds, fingers ghosting up your hands to rest on your waist, tugging you closer as he brushes his lips against yours. “focus on my lips,”
and he kisses you again, this time a bit more firmly, albeit it’s slow and gentle at first, his lips moving against yours in a way that's both comforting and exciting. but as the moments pass, he presses in deeper, more insistently. he lets his body press more firmly against yours, his chest touching yours as his tongue gently teases at the seam of your lips. it was working, the way his lips move against yours, it calms your nerves from the thunder but lights them up again when he nibbles gently on your lower lip, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he continues to kiss you so fervently.
it takes a passing second for you to realise what you’re doing. it surprises you, however not enough to pull back, or maybe the way his tongue feels against yours stops you from doing so. you’d be lying if you say you hadn’t thought of kissing him before— as early as two days after moving in. and now that you’re actually kissing him, everything feels like a fever dream.
he tucks your chin up with his fingers, pulling you in closer to deepen the kiss. he is a good kisser, sunghoon uses that to boast about himself, he has always been good at this— kissing, bragging, making your knees weak, and all you could do was melt into him wet and sloppy kisses that he plants on your skin.
he dips his head down to your neck, pressing sloppy, open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat, pulling your blouse aside to get a better access to your collarbones and shoulders. it felt like his body has a mind of its own, and he’s only following right behind. when a soft gasp leaves your lips, he moves back to your lips again, wanting to swallow every little sound you make that makes his mind haywire.
your breaths are heavy, hands around his neck with fingers grazing the skin of his nape. a movement that makes him moan softly in the kiss as he presses you against the counter, holding you between his arms. his hand that's resting on your hip moves up, tracing the curve of your waist and then sliding under your shirt to rest on your bare skin, lips curling up in a subtle smirk as he hears you gasp yet again.
“sunghoon—” you pull back, getting a quick glance at his half-lidded eyes when the lightning from the thunderstorm fills the room. he can still feel your laboured breathing on his lips and it does nothing but pull him in even more. after all, sunghoon would be lying if he said he didn’t imagine doing this with you.
“we’ll stop,” he pecks your lips, then trailing his lips down your jawline and to your neck, leaving a trail of gentle kisses along your skin. “when the candle goes out,”
005. WHERE THE LINE FADES
when sunghoon wakes up the next morning, he’s met with cold empty sheets on the side and the memories from last night start flooding his mind. his heartbeat accelerates at the mere thought of you, especially how you were last night and every time his name fell off your lips in bliss and pleasure— he would’ve preferred waking up to you rather than emptiness.
he lays idly for a few minutes and stares at the ceiling, looking for where it all had started. was it the day you told him jay asked you out? maybe not, he doesn’t like to think of himself as a jealous person. it must’ve been when you asked for his opinion on your outfit, he tells himself, you looked too good to be true that day. a few seconds more and he sits up with a soft groan, seemingly unable to find answers to any of his questions.
the weather seems to have improved as he notices the cosy sunlight outside. he slips on this shirt before walking down to the shared bathroom, rubbing his eyes softly and brushing his fingers through his hair with a sigh. he puts his hand on the door knob and looking up in surprise when it opens on the other side.
“oh,” the slight hint of shyness on your face doesn’t escape his gaze, just like how enchanting you look this early in the morning with hair wet from the shower. you bite slightly on your lower lip before the awkwardness in the air is disturbed by your voice. “morning,”
actually, it must’ve all started the day you moved in.
“morning,” he replies back, rubbing his nape and looking away. the weight of questions lingering around makes it hard for him to look in your eyes. “would you like to have breakfast?”
you nod and follow him into the kitchen after making a short trip to your room.
you steal a few glances at him while eating your breakfast, feeling your palms sweat at the thought of bringing it up to him. you avoid it for a few minutes, tossing the question around in your head while trying to make small talks about the ketchup, as bad as it could get. it feels a bit suffocating until you finally decide to address the elephant in the room. “so about last night—”
“it was a mistake,” he cuts you off immediately, a heavy pause following shortly after. he looks up in your eyes for the first time since the morning. “let’s just forget it,”
and his words leave a bitter taste in your mouth. it could’ve been just another one night stand for you had it not been with sunghoon— your roommate, the person you see everyday, the person who managed to give you butterflies the day you moved in. your fingers tighten around the spoon and you consider arguing back for a moment before you push that idea further back in your head.
it could be just another thing added to the lists of things that have been buried, like the time you and sunghoon almost kissed in the elevator last year.
“right,” you nod quietly, convincing yourself that it’s not a big deal. that he’s just another guy in your life like jay. actually, you don’t feel like wanting to compare them anymore. you don’t know where the line marking the difference fades. “of course, yeah,”
you don’t even like the sound of that.
“yeah,”
you don’t wait another minute before leaving your unfinished breakfast on the table and going to your room. his eyes follow your movements, conscience nudging him to chase after you. he contemplates it for a while, and then you walk out with your bag. “i’ll see you after classes,”
and then sunghoon doesn’t see you for the rest of the morning.
or the day, in fact. usually, you two end up bumping into each other at least once, but sunghoon doesn’t see you around for the whole day. he skips spanish, deciding to go back to his apartment earlier than usual. he turns on the tv, deciding to watch a football watch with beer on the side while waiting for you. an hour passes, then another, and another.
there’s no sign of you.
it isn’t until he rings up a few of your friends that he hears that you’re staying over at giselle’s for the night. he wouldn’t blame you, couldn’t, not after everything that went down a night ago. you needed some space and so did he, but somewhere inside he wondered if he should’ve been honest with you when you brought up that topic during breakfast instead of saying the first thing that came to his mind and dismissing it.
but, he dismisses it again, letting you be on your own for as long as you need, knowing you’d come back soon.
which you do, the very next day, much to his surprise. he had expected you to avoid him for at least a week. he notices the way you look when you return early in the morning, tired and exhausted as if you hadn’t got a single ounce of sleep. there’s silence engulfing him but you walk to your room before he could even open his mouth to speak. and then you ignore him for the rest of the day.
he starts feeling annoyed at some point, trying to come up with a reason for your actions. he tries striking up conversations with you and you give short responses, or just nod. when you walk away without answering him when he asked about your day, sunghoon wanted to grab your wrist and pull you back for a second, but he dismisses that idea just as soon as it pops up in his head. he doesn’t even realise how quickly time passes in silence, not until he returns from heeseung’s apartment after spending two nights and one day with him and jake and checks his phone, realising it’s already close to being a week till you’re gone radio silent. he notices a few texts, mostly his study group that have been planning meet-ups to study, one that he rarely attends. his eyes especially squint in confusion at the texts from your mother, saying she had been trying to get in touch with you but getting no response.
he was on his way to his room when he heard the door unlock. a pause, the click of the doorknob strikes through the silence, followed by your footsteps. he takes a few seconds to sort out his thoughts before speaking. “your mom texted me since you weren’t picking up her phone,”
“my phone died,” you give a simple response, almost too quickly for his liking. he lets his eyes follow your movements as you take off your shoes and jacket, putting it on the couch.
it takes him back to the day you told him about jay asking you out.
it was exactly the same— you arrived late, your phone had died. he was asking the same questions, albeit laced with annoyance. today, it’s hesitation, maybe slight doubt. sunghoon can’t stop you from seeing jay, but the idea of you being with him bothers him more than expected. so, he follows up with yet another question.
“where have you been?” he asks, wanting to maintain a casual demeanour even though his heart is pounding in his chest just from being near you. he isn’t expecting any response, actually, however he’s met with surprise when you actually reply.
“with jay,” the words fall from your mouth as if you’re used to them, used to saying his name. there’s an awkward pause before you clarify. “we had dinner together. he wanted to apologise properly,”
“that’s— that’s great,” he manages to squeeze out, but sunghoon thinks jay could’ve left you alone instead of meeting you if he wanted to apologise so bad.
you definitely had feelings for jay, even though they didn’t go as deep for you to come home sobbing your eyes out the day you learnt the truth. to sunghoon, that is enough of a reason to hate him even more. just the mere thought of your heart sinking whenever you’d even think of jay made him fist his hands, nails almost digging in the palm of his hands.
sunghoon doesn’t have much experience with girls. in fact, none at all. flings are one thing, and girlfriends another. he has had both— none too serious. the first time someone asked him out was in highschool, although he’s surprised it didn’t happen much earlier. that time, just agreed to go out with her because his friends were in relationships too and he didn’t want to fall behind. it wasn’t soon before it turned into a competition after he got into university. not his best self, it isn’t something he’s proud of now that he thinks about it.
and sunghoon isn’t half better than jay in that aspect, although obviously not as bad as to bet on going on a date with another girl while he already has a girlfriend. however, if you had feelings for him— as he thinks while watching you walk to your room— he wouldn’t let a single tear fall from your lips.
“about that night,” he follows you into your room, practically hearing his heartbeat echo through his ears. he gulps nervously when he notices you looking at him with a sliver of hope in your eyes. “it wasn’t a mistake,”
“oh,” and you stop in your tracks, having no idea how to respond. an awkward pause follows as you bite your lower lip habitually before speaking, feigning a casual tone. “well, we can still put it behind—”
“i don’t want to,” he blurts out, cutting you off mid sentence. you notice how his voice is quiet as always, yet there’s panic and anxiousness behind those eyes. “i mean, i tried to, but it’s difficult. you’re always on my mind,”
there’s a silver of determination behind his voice. it’s surprising and equally anticipated. sometimes, he feels like he thinks of you every minute no matter what he’s doing. it was never this bad, these days even the regular banters between you two give him butterflies. and sunghoon understand that he might be far from your type in men. perhaps, you actually prefer someone like jay, who treat you to a fancy dinner to apologise, or maybe that guy from a few months ago who can’t remember the name of.
you and sunghoon can be polar opposites and he would still be standing here, fingers fidgeting nervously with the hem of his denim jacket, looking so uncharacteristically out of place. he would choose to have this talk again, as much as he hates confronting, because it never about who your type is and always about the fact that you’re sunghoon’s type— as he realises this when you tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, looking at him with lips pressed together. you look cute, more so when you’re awkward, and he can’t believe he’s coming to terms with this but god, he is falling for you.
he is falling hard, and falling deep. it’s nothing like him, you make him nervous, almost as if knocking him out of air whenever your eyes meet, and he would gladly suffocate to death. it was quiet with too many questions hanging above his head, and he noticed the way you fiddle with your fingers with the cutest expression known to mankind and sunghoon knew he was screwed.
“i’ve got it so bad for you, yn, really,” —he speaks as if he’s out of breath due to the nervousness— “really bad. i tried to keep you out of here,” he said, pointing at his chest, cheeks flushing red as the words fell off his lips. “but you won’t go, you just won’t.”
and sunghoon has never been so…out of place, for the lack of better words. it’s amusing, even to you, the way he is right now. the sunghoon from three weeks ago wouldn’t even care but he, now, is pouring out all of himself, as if stripping him naked of his emotions and letting him see what lies behind the suave smiles and prideful words. as if showing you how easily you have him going crazy, right out of his mind and how he can’t help but just stare blankly as his eyes travel down to your lips occasionally— as they do now— and it leaves you in a frenzy when you notice it.
“i can’t stop thinking about that night— not in a weird way, just…” and you’re just standing in front of him, trying not to laugh at his antics. he’s cute, a pause, what the fuck. and then you just go along with it, knowing there’s no point denying it anymore now that you two are having this conversation.
you notice his little mannerisms, like how he can’t look in your eyes for the life in him, how he keeps shifting his weight from one leg to the other. it’s adorable, especially the way he can have all the attention in the room with just his mere presence. that’s sunghoon for you, with a presence so heavy it’s loud even when he’s silent. it’s so loud you can practically hear his mind, of all the words you know he wants to say but can’t. there’s a hitch in his breath, his eyes meet yours for the first time in the past few minutes— i like you— they say, and the next thing sunghoon knows is that you’re kissing him.
“i like you too,” you whisper against his lips after pulling back, your lips brushing against his. sunghoon feels like every single nerve in his body has been sparked, giving him goosebumps when you slowly intertwine your fingers with his.
of course, you know how he feels even before he could say it out loud. maybe, he just made it obvious for you to guess, otherwise sunghoon likes to think of himself as someone who can hide his feelings well. he lets go of your hands as soon as he feels you lace your fingers with his and instead, cups your cheeks ever so tenderly and leans down to capture your lips with his, smiling in the kiss. “i love you,”
˃ᗜ˂ : if you made it till here, i'm sending each one of u kisses >< thank u for reading, i hope u liked it. ps i had to put my heart aside and write jay's name ... never again will i put my man thru this huhu TT he's too good to do these things
#—approved.#CANDLEIT : 성혼#enhypen#enhypen drabbles#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#enhypen oneshots#sunghoon oneshots#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon drabbles#sunghoon headcanons#enhypen scenarios#enhypen headcanons#enhypen soft hours#enhypen angst#sunghoon angst
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Days off with them
+ Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Marco, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Levi, Erwin, Hange, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Porco, Pieck, Zeke
Eren; Staying Behind
You and Eren had been assigned cleaning duty that morning - even though it was supposed to be your day off.
Eren listened to you while you ranted and raved about how you shouldn't be doing it and should be allowed to be free for the day.
You'd both been invited to the market with Sasha and Co. but the Eren said he didn't fancy it.
You silently thanked Eren, because you, too, didn't want to go to the market.
The two of you then spent the day sparring together and messing around.
Mikasa; Hanging out
You'd gone camping the night prior to your day off. Your camp consisted of the top ten in the cadets and a few others, such as yourself and Armin.
You'd shared a tent with Sasha and Mikasa, so the three of you all woke up around the same time.
Sasha was excited to go hunting so she left just you and Mikasa to decide what to do for the day.
It was Mikasa who asked if you wanted to spend the day with her, much to your surprise.
Armin; Library
The two of you met, coincidentally, in the library. You'd been looking for a book all morning and couldn't find it anywhere.
As it turns out, Armin had already checked that book out, although he hadn't read it yet.
He told you his plans for the day; to read under a tree until sundown, then go home and read some more.
Since he had the book you wanted, you proposed you tag along with him, and read the book you wanted together.
Marco; Lazy Day
You weren't used to having time to yourself. So, when the time came to relaxing you weren't sure what to do with yourself.
Like most soldiers you slept in, but this made you miss breakfast.
You soon learned that Marco had been waiting for you all morning in the mess hall.
He brought breakfast to your room and helped you adjust to the free time.
You ended up being overwhelmed from actually being able the think for once. Marco stayed with you, per your request, and comforted you the entire day.
Jean; Market
Jean's love language is quality time (among others), so on days off he often waits for his friends to suggest something and just tags along.
He's down for anything as long as he's with the people he loves, especially you.
He also loves doing things, he's not one to just sit around and talk, he like to be actively doing something. i.e. walking around, cleaning, working out. He doesn't mind what he's doing, as long as he's not doing it alone.
He LOVES the marketplace. He finds comfort in the ambience of the bustling people.
Connie; Visiting Family
Any excuse to go home, and Connie is there.
Recently though, he's been torn between savouring the time with his friends or visiting his family again.
Either way he might not see any of them again, so he often acts out of impulse on the day.
So, being the genius he is, he drags you along to visit his family with him.
Sasha; Hunting
She offered to teach you how to hunt, telling you it was an essential life tool.
You listened to her intently, being sure to mimic her movements precisely.
Still when it came to killing a small bunny, you couldn't bring yourself to do it.
She found it so heart warming that you couldn't kill the innocent, contrary to the way you were on a battlefield.
Levi; Tea Shop
Days off for the Scout's faculty don't really exist, most live by the "I'll sleep when I'm dead" motto – especially Levi
Still, you had convinced him to tackle his ever-growing pile of paperwork in a small tea shop in the market.
It didn't last long, he hated how many people came in and out of the shop, no work was completed.
Instead, the two of you peacefully people watched soaking up each other's company
Hange; Experiments
As per, Hange could be found hunched over their notes, frothing at the mouth thinking about the breakthroughs they could make.
They insisted you work with them to come up with new theories.
You were smart and they respected that, plus you had a similar passion as them – less to do with titans and more to do with finding out the truth.
It wasn't how you'd wanted to sped your day off, but seeing Hange light up when you'd theorise with them made it worth it.
Erwin; Working
What else would this man be doing? He was more likely to work himself into a grave than he was to die in combat.
Still, he didn't often get time to simply hang out with his comrades. So, he got up early, working himself to the bone to get his paperwork done at record pace, simply so he could spend a blissful summers evening in your company.
Reiner; Napping
It wasn't his intention, nor yours, to fall asleep in the pasture.
You had been cloud watching, trying your hardest to take your minds off the horrors that played on repeat.
You brought each other so much comfort that it was almost impossible to not feel tired around each other.
It was jean who found you two, tangled together in the field. He NEVER let you two live it down.
Bertholdt; Market
Everyone had suggested it, but neither of you wanted to go. Still, come 7 am, you found yourself in the back of a cart and on your way to the market.
Somewhere throughout the day you had lost everyone, leaving the two of you alone together, to wander the stalls.
Bert felt rather homesick, seeing all the shops gave him a horrid nostalgia. You'd taken notice of his hesitation and hooked your arm with his, trying to offer his as much comfort as possible.
He was taken aback sure, but your touch helped him more than he thought it could. To be honest, it scared him a little.
Annie; Hanging out
Absolutely, not in the mood to do anything, ever. She just wants to get her mission over with, she has no real reason to do anything or make friends.
Still, she's grateful that you, along with some others, still try to spend time with her.
Even so, she spends the day in her room but not without inviting you to come sit with her.
Porco; Beach Walk
You had decided to travel along the coast for your day out, desperate to get away from the busy city.
Was it an authorised absence? Not at all. And somehow you managed to convince Porco to come with you.
You didn't tell him that you 'technically' weren't allowed to be leaving Liberio, when he find out he tried to convince you to go back, scared of the repercussions.
However, after seeing you so happy to be on the beach, he decided the consequences would be worth it, given neither of you had long left to live.
Pieck; Hanging out
Still not used to her legs, Pieck had asked you to stay with her while she caught up on her books.
She'd been wanting to read them when she got back from Paradis, so to do so in your company was more than she could have hoped for.
Though, she often found herself getting distracted by you, who sat next to her, head bobbing as you feel asleep reading your own book.
Zeke; Hanging Out
Simply put, he took you on a walk around Liberio.
He kept you close the whole time, being sure you were safe, talking about everything and nothing.
He was content with just being.
Even for just a moment, if he could exist alongside you, everything he'd done would have been worth it.
#aot x reader#aot#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#snk#levi x reader#reiner x reader#jean x reader#annie x reader#zeke x reader#eren x reader#armin x reader#mikasa x reader#connie x reader#porco x reader#pieck x reader#sasha x reader#marco x reader#bertholdt x reader#hange x reader#erwin x reader#levi ackerman#reiner braun#jean kirstein#annie leonhart#zeke yeager#eren yeager#armin arlert#porco galliard#pieck finger
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the day bleeds into nightfall
Zayne/MC | 1242 words | AO3
She was coming home soon.
A/N: So, um, you know those text messages you get from the guys when you don’t sign in for 30 days or more? Yeah…this stemmed from that…oops.
She was coming home soon.
It had been over a month since she was assigned a mission in another town. Zayne always worried whenever she was taken far away from him, though he knew she was a strong, capable fighter able to hold her ground against any wanderers no matter how big or small.
He couldn't help it. It was in his nature to always worry about her, to fuss over her, nag her—love her.
To assuage his worries, he kept up the text message exchange, finding solace in sharing tidbits of his mundane life with her as he waited for her to return home.
She was coming home soon.
Zayne passed a poster, pausing to examine it before he snapped a photo on his phone.
He typed out a message:
They're holding a new Kitty Cards event next month. Didn't I promise you a rematch last time?
He attached the photo and hit sent. He took another glance at the poster, and resumed his walk home, already seeing her seething across from him when he would, without a doubt, win again.
She was coming home soon.
It seemed his schedule as of late had been packed with surgeries after surgeries. He hadn't been home much recently, choosing to sleep in his car or office for a little bit instead out of mere convenience. When he needed sustenance, the cafeteria food would suffice or he would stop by one of the eateries near the hospital. For some reason, lately he didn’t care too much for taste, finding no pleasure in the meals he ate. He simply needed food from a biological standpoint, desiring only the energy they would give him to carry on with his life.
Remember to eat and sleep on time, he sent the message at noon and then reclined the seat in his car for a few minutes of shut eyes before his next scheduled surgery.
She was coming home soon.
Zayne mindlessly scrolled through the suggestions of movies on the TV's streaming app, finding nothing particularly interesting. He passed the different movies displayed, not reading the titles or even registering the thumbnails, but eventually he finally settled on a random psychological thriller, though his attention continued to remain elsewhere.
As the opening credit started, Zayne looked down at his phone, already typing away a new message for her:
The movie you wanted to see should be released by the time you come home. I'll buy us tickets. Hurry back.
She was coming home soon.
It's going to rain next Thursday. Dress appropriately, and don't dilly-dally in wet clothes.
He stared at the sent message, and without thinking, sent another one as an afterthought:
I can't always stay by your side.
She was coming home soon.
One day, after a particularly long meeting with the hospital's esteemed medical staff, Zayne returned to his office and noticed the potted plant on his desk near the window.
He settled into his seat, grabbed his cup of water, and poured the remaining liquid into the pot. He looked at the growing plant fondly before snapping a single photo to attach to his message:
The daffodil we bought together is thriving. Hurry back so you don't miss its flower.
He leaned back in his chair, chuckling softly at the memory of her mistaking garlic bulbs for daffodils.
She was coming home soon.
He visited the bakery near the hospital, the very same one where they had run into one another during an afternoon rain shower.
As he stared at the assortments of delectable pastries in the glass display case, he found that they did not brighten his mood as usual. In the back of his mind, he could hear the different voices competing to be heard.
Zayne breathed in sharply, wanting the voices to be silenced, and ordered one mille-feuille, not noticing the workers' surprised expression, unused to seeing the sweet-toothed doctor order so little.
When he returned to his car, Zayne opened the cake box and scooped a single forkful into his mouth.
If I have something sweet, I'd be happy, even if it was a bad day.
He dropped the plastic fork and broke down in his car.
That evening, he sent her another text:
Have you eaten yet? There is a new hot pot restaurant that opened downtown. Hurry on back to me. I'll let you indulge to your heart's content.
She was coming home soon.
He heard the hushed whispers, caught the sympathetic glances from his peripheral vision.
Greyson told him it was okay if he needed to take time off. All of the doctors at the hospital were ready to cover all of his shifts for as long as he needed.
At first Zayne dismissed everyone, baffled by their unusual reactions. It was just another normal day. Patients were in and out of the hospital like clockwork. There was no time to waste with small talks like this.
It was just another normal day. Like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, and the—
Zayne froze in the middle of the operation, his hands shaking as he heard the staff around him fall into a state of panic as the fifteen-year-old patient started experiencing Evol-related complications during the cardiac surgery. Normally level-headed, he found that he was unable to will his body and mind to act accordingly. He stood there, watching through blank eyes, this perfectly crafted world of his crumbling as the memories of the past three months stared him down in the surgery room in a cruel taunt.
She was coming home soon.
She was coming home soon.
She was coming home soon…
At first, he couldn't hear any of the yelling from the surgery staff. Everything and everyone sounded like they were underwater, just muffled voices competing to be heard. Even everyone's movements seemed sluggish, as if time had slowed down, prolonging this hellish moment.
When Greyson rushed in and yanked Zayne away from the surgery table, screaming in his face, he immediately snapped out of his daze, and moved quickly to stabilize the patient, barking out orders to the staff.
By the end of the grueling, nerve-wracking hour, the young patient pulled through to everyone’s relief. Within twenty minutes, Zayne put in his request for an extended leave and offered his sincerest apology to the patient's family for his carelessness.
As he quietly left Akso Hospital, he heard the hushed whispers again, seeing the sympathetic glances from his peripheral vision.
He wished he was deaf and blind.
For the first half hour, he drove aimlessly through Linkon City before he found himself leaving behind the neon lights and heading to the cliffside on the outskirt of town overlooking the city. On the horizon, the colorful lights of the city competed for dominance with the bright stars in the night sky.
Zayne pulled out his phone, his fingers were already typing out a message for her, recalling his earlier incompetence. Halfway through the message, his eyes landed on the past conversations. He shakily scrolled up, reading the familiar one-sided conversation with an increasingly fast heartrate.
His breath hitched when he finally found one message from her, dated three months earlier:
Zayne, when I come home, let's make up for lost time! My treat!
He dropped his phone and screamed.
Three days later, he placed a small bouquet of jasmine for her.
“I miss—I love you…”
She was not coming home.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace fanfiction#lnds fanfics#x ; fics#fanfics#happy monday#i wrote angst#here to bum everyone out like zayne's new myth did to me
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I have trouble with writing in general. Can you help me? English isn't my first language, but I really want to write a story in English someday. However, both I and my English teacher have noticed a problem. He says he can tell I haven't cheated on my assignments because I write like I speak. That comment broke my heart a bit and made me feel pressured because there's a recurring joke in fanfiction that all stories starting with "English is not my mother tongue / I'm not fluent in English" are masterpieces, haha. I'm very disappointed in myself because I don't feel as good as other non-native speakers. Do you have any tips for improving my writing?
Improving Writing as Non-Native Speaker
First, I'm so sorry that your English teacher or anyone else has ever made you (or anyone) feel bad about your speaking or writing. Anyone who tries to learn a language other than their native language should be commended, no matter the skill level they reach. Many people who have the ability and access to learn another language never even bother, so kudos to you for learning. If it helps, I wouldn't have known you were a non-native speaker if you hadn't told me.
Any time you want to learn to write stories in a non-native language, there are four things you can do to improve your skills:
1 - Watch movies, TV shows, videos, and listen to audiobooks and podcasts in that language. Not dubbed or with captions in that language... movies, TV shows, and videos where the people are actually speaking the language you want to learn. This type of immersion can really help you get a feel for how native speakers actually sound, which can help you with writing and with creating authentic dialogue.
2 - Read stories, books, magazines, blogs, poems, and posts in that language. Again, nothing that has been translated into that language, but things that were originally written in the language you want to learn. This helps to reinforce the visual of the language in your mind's eye as you write, and quite often, seeing things in text can stick out more to you than they do when only hearing them. Also, some people just learn better one way over the other, so both hearing and seeing the language makes sure you're covering both bases.
3 - Practice speaking in that language. Even if speaking isn't your issue, it's still helpful to practice speaking the language, because it helps to reinforce it in your mind. Try reading news articles, stories, chapters of books, and social media posts out loud. It can also be helpful to look up movie and play scripts and speak the lines out loud.
4 - Practice writing in that language. If you wanted to learn a concerto for a piano recital, you might practice by watching other people play it, listening to it, reading the sheet music over and over, and practicing the tune with your voice, but nothing would help you improve more than actually playing the song over and over again yourself. You would get better with each performance, and writing works the same way. The number one thing you can do to improve your writing in another language is to write a lot of stories in that language. It's okay if you're not perfect. Even native speakers don't write perfect stories without practice. ♥
Happy writing!
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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted!
♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking
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ive been working on a handmade art journal for a school assignment the last couple months+ i'm really happy with how these pages turned out so here they r! (i'm also gonna talk a bit below the photo dump abt how i did stuff so if you wanna read that it's there)
this has been a really fun project so far, I'm happy with it!
1- this is what the journal looks like, i decided on a red checkerboard pattern for the cover nd i added a skelanimal. book binding was actually easier than i thought!!
2- i never finished this but i decided to draw the killjoys as weezer for the blue album's 30th anniversary
3 - THESE R DOMR OF MY FAVORITES. it has 2 of my favorite songs from tttyg which are dead on arrival (left) and saturday (right) Saturday is like really underrated everyone should listen to that song please
4- a collage i made with some old candy wrappers(left) and danger days spider scratch art! (right)
5- my piece for the 20th three cheers anniversary ❤️ i was working on it for a long time and I'm happy i finished it :3 i also included lyrics from it's not a fashion statement on the left page
6- show pony. one of my favorite they/thems ❤️ (left) and KILLJOY LINOCUT PRINTS ‼️ (right) as you can see these ones turned out super messy because the surface was uneven 💔
7- killjoy prints but nice
#mcr#my chemical romance#art#artwork#my artwork#my art#danger days#killjoys#mcr danger days#skelanimals#fob#tttyg#take this to your grave#three cheers for sweet revenge#demoliton lovers#show pony#collage#linocut print#linocut#art journal#party poison#fun ghoul#jet star#kobra kid#book binding#diy projects#Spotify
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In The Dark (BuckTommy Whump)
In The Dark (14,612 words) by NeverlandPoet
Chapters: 9/9
Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard
Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Tommy Kinard, Vincent Gerrard, Howie "Chimney" Han, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Ravi Panikkar, Maddie Buckley
Additional Tags: Whump, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt Tommy Kinard, Internalized Homophobia, Racism, Canon-Typical Violence, Firefighter Evan "Buck" Buckley, Firefighters, set after season 7, Character Study, POV Evan "Buck" Buckley, Major Character Injury, Fire, Slurs, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Good Sibling Maddie Buckley
Summary:
Working under Captain Gerrard again is a shock for the 118, especially as they are supposed to be present at this year's Pride Parade. Tommy is the only bright spot for Buck that day, but when they suddenly receive an assignment, he realizes that Tommy, of all people, is in the middle of it…
Finished! Chapter 1 is under the cut, full fic on AO3. Come say hi if you liked it ❤️
We will burn in the fire
We will be branded in flames
We will have to rise from the ashes
From the fires of our own mistakes
Getting ready for shift, day 2 under Gerrard, who’s counting? You can do this.
Buck watches Ravi roll up the hoses. His fingers are itching to ever so slightly adjust the other’s angle of work, but with his distracted mind, the moment passes. Bobby will get his clearance soon. He will, he must.
“This is my first Pride,” says Ravi, “I mean, the parade. What to expect?”
Buck checks the equipment for the third time, but even the third time, everything is where it should be.
“Well, it's my first time too,” he replies with a shrug.
“Huh, were you off last year?”
“What? Oh, no.”
Buck slams the flap shut with a jerk. Sheepishly scratching his ear, he adds, “I mean, this year I’m... uh, this will be my first time as a... Anyway, Tommy and I have different shifts, we can't go, but there are still a lot of parties in the evening, maybe we can make it to one of those.”
“Keep the details about your fag lover where they belong – your underpants.”
Gerrard steps around the fire engine, smug grin on his face, provocatively running a finger through his moustache.
“Done checking? We can't wait forever for you guys.”
He looks at the two of them challengingly, but actually, Buck feels, Gerrard’s only looking at him. Ravi straightens up, he doesn't know the man, he’s just the current captain to him. Buck can't blame him, Ravi has learned that it pays to prove yourself, that it pays to make an effort. He’s learned that, like all of the 118, under Bobby. But Bobby’s not here.
“H... hold on, you can't say that.”
Even if the words dance on the tip of his tongue, Buck's gaze is firm. Gerrard stares at him, a gaze like a laser beam; but Buck is equipped with an invisible shield, and he returns the look.
“I can't tell you to do your job, Buckley? Really?”
“No,” Buck replies stubbornly, “I mean the other thing. The slur. You can’t say that, Gerrard.”
“Captain Gerrard,” the man corrects him in a deceptively soft voice. “You want to start with political correct language, do it in every respect. Pajeet here will agree with me, won't he?”
Gerrard shots a gaze at Ravi. Ravi's cheek muscles twitch, Buck knows he’s stifling a reply. He never thought about it, but how many times has Ravi heard things like these? How many times did he have to listen to bigoted, white men hurling insults at him? Buck clenches his fists. Anger is rising in him like an inextinguishable fire, and it's not wise, he knows this. He knows it, but there's Gerrard with his stupid grin, head slightly tilted as if to say, yeah, hit me boy, I'm waiting for it.
Hen appears at the truck, “There's plenty of bandages, Captain,” she says, as if she's read Gerrard's mind.
Gerrard wrinkles his nose as if Hen's appearance is some kind of stench that you just can't get rid of. But for now, he drops it. He slaps the fire engine; to Buck, this looks like he's slapping a woman's butt, and somehow, the analogy suits Gerrard. He's old school, as these guys like to say. They’re calling the vehicle baby, they’re joking about the hoses and involuntarily grab their crotches when a hydrant spurts out before the connection is made. None of this is unusual. A bit on the verge of extinction, and Buck can't exactly boast that he's never done anything like this. It's not great, but also not unusual. Gerrard, however… he’s a special sort of player.
They occupy the truck, and Buck just hopes his last glance at the interims captain is ice cold. Gerrard is sitting in front, now he can only pierce him with his eyes from behind. Hen looks kind of worried, so Buck nudges her.
“Hey, it'll be fine.”
“Huh?”
She adjusts her glasses, even though they’re absolutely straight. Following Buck’s gaze to Gerrard, she shakes her head.
“I don't know, just having a feeling,” she says.
Gerrard continues to stare ahead, but his ears are good for an old geezer, Buck thinks, as he interjects, “Feelings have no place in a fire truck.”
Hen ignores him, only giving Buck a warning glance as he frowns, clearly pondering about some fierce retort.
“Because of today’s job?” Ravi interjects.
“Oh, right,” says Buck, “Ravi was asking what to expect from the parade.”
He emphasizes Ravi and parade while carefully watching the back of Gerrard's head. This time, however, the man stays silent, and Hen turns to Ravi.
“It's not that wild,” she replies warmly, “people are generally rather peaceful. Sure, there’s the usual drunks falling into the shards of their own bottles. The odd brawl on the sidelines...”
“One year, a fire-eater accidentally set himself on fire,” Buck interjects, gesturing broadly. “Singed the eyebrows of three people who were standing a little too close.”
“Dumpster fires,” Chimney offers. He was the last to enter the truck, missing their earlier conversation with Gerrard, but he, too, seems kind of tense. They all are, actually. And it’s neither because of the parade nor because they’re missing Eddie, who has called in sick at short notice. Eddie isn't absent because of Gerrard, of course, but Buck wouldn't blame him if that were the reason. He himself had been feeling unwell this morning simply thinking about the captain, and thinking about what he’d done to Tommy. How he made him act. That guilt is still apparent on Tommy’s face, whenever Gerrard manages to creep into their topics.
“Hm,” Ravi replies with a frown, “nothing we couldn't be called in for, should it happen. Still not getting why we're ordered directly at the place, practically like a fire station for the day.”
“It's a madhouse, that's why.” Gerrard, of course.
“Statistics show that the presence of fire departments at the start of major events has a preventative effect,” says Hen, ignoring the captain. “Significant reduction of accidents, actually.”
“27 percent,” Buck throws in, and the other’s astonished looks bore into him. “What?”
“Less fire starters,” Hen nods. “One theory says people are more attentive because the presence of firefighters boosts their sense of community.”
For a moment, a discussion breaks out among Buck, Hen, Ravi and Chimney as everyone seems to have an opinion on this, but Gerrard's sharp voice interrupts them.
“Shut up, chicken coop. We're here for a job, not for your private bullshit.”
His gaze rests on Buck, and he feels his own fingernails clawing into his thigh. Bobby wouldn't want you to do anything rash. It’s his mantra for the rest of the ride.
#writing#fanfiction#BuckTommy#Buck/Tommy#Tommy/Buck#bucktommy fic#my fics#9-1-1 on abc#9-1-1#9-1-1 fanfic#evan buckley#tommy kinard#howard chimney han#henrietta wilson#ravi panikkar#bobby nash#maddie buckley#vincent gerrard#whump#whump fic#angst#angst fic#angst with a happy ending#kinley#firepilot#tevan
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This is the last one from this event I swear. I kissed just about everyone but I forgot to check their lines so I had to go back and kiss don't it them for a second time
OF COURSE I'M DOING THEO. WHO WOULD I BE IF I DIDN'T DO THIS. And I already failed at my no Theo challenge. Theo is just so *goes feral*
He's not in a club himself, but on Thursdays he stays late. Why? His brother is in the art club and it gives him some time to do school work if he's still in school.
He sits in the same classroom every week. It's always unlocked and far enough from any of the other rooms that have a club going on.
He walks in and sees you sitting at one of the desks. He looks confused and starts walking over.
"What are you doing here?"
You jump, yelling a bit. He scared you. "Theo!"
He sits in the chair next to you, setting his bag on the desk. "Sorry," he kisses your cheek. "But why are you in here?" He flips the cover over your book over to see what you're reading.
"I'm having problems in history. We got on the topic of art and now we have to do a report on an artist in history."
"I could help you with that. I had to do that project last year."
You flip through the book some more, looking at the art work on each page. "What are you doing here?"
"Thanks," you sigh. "But I don't even know who I'm doing it on. I'm starting by trying to find art I even like. So maybe once I find someone you can help me."
"I always stay after on Thursdays. Vincent is in the art club and I do some work until it's over," he leans closer and kisses your cheek again. "But if you're here I don't know how well I'll concentrate," he chuckles.
"Oh stop," you giggle and turn to kiss him on the lips. He kisses you back then starts taking his things out of his bag.
"Since all you're doing is looking at pretty pictures. I'm going to work on my chemistry."
"Booring," you stick your tongue out and look back at your book. It's not all pictures. There's blurbs about the art and it's meaning as well as info on the artists and the time period.
"You'll be begging me for help next year so I need to make sure I know what I'm doing."
Theo opens his book and his notes to do his homework.
~~
Some time passes and you're getting impatient. You glance over at Theo who seems to be doing his work with no issue. You huff and lay down, resting your head in his lap.
While you get comfortable he looks down at you. "Have you decided who you are doing?"
You rest your hands on your stomach and close your eyes. "I think so. I'll make a decision later."
He holds your hand. "I'm not helping you last minute if you slack off."
"I won't."
He goes through his notes some more while he finishes some things.
After a few minutes he sets his pencil down and sits back. You open your eyes to look up at him and smile.
He's so handsome. How did you get so lucky?
"Are you done?"
"Almost. This chapter is pretty easy but he assigned a lot of homework."
You sit up and kiss him. "You should take a break if there's that much."
He kisses you back and pushes hair behind your ear. "Yeah, but I really want to get this done before I have to go.
Hmph. You were hoping for some attention from him. Theo stretches in his seat before getting back to work. You get up and go over to the window to look outside.
Theo can't help but glance over at you. He normally doesn't have an issue with concentrating, but with you walking around the room he can't help it.
He ends up holding his head in his hand staring at you, a smile on his face.
Without even finishing the problem that he is on, he gets up and walks over to you, hugging you from behind.
"What's so interesting out there, huh?"
You smile and wrap your arms over his. He holds you close, hunched over a little so his chin is on your shoulder.
"A bird is more interesting than school work."
You turn around to face him, draping your arms over his shoulders. You kiss him. He kisses back. You keep kissing him. He keeps kissing right back. Quickly the two of you have your lips glued together.
His hands set on your hips before sliding back to grab your ass. You press your body against him so that he can get his hands between you and the wall.
You moan softly as his hands squeeze you. He starts lifting up your skirt, then sliding his hand under your underwear to grab your bare ass.
You moan into his mouth and grind yourself against him.
Keeping a hand under your clothes, he puts a hand between you two. With a single finger he teases you. Almost going inside but not quite. You rock your hips to try to encourage him, to show him that you want it.
His other hand let's your ass go and slides up your back to your neck.
He takes a fist full of your hair and kisses you harder. Then he quickly tugs your hair back at the same time as pushing two fingers into you.
You moan loudly. Maybe a little too loud. Your hips rock with his fingers as they slide in and out of you.
"You're so wet for me," with your head pulled back he kisses your neck.
You pant lightly and hold onto his shirt. "T-Theo," you moan.
He kisses the side of your neck and glances out the window. Good thing you are in the second story. His fingers push deeper and spread apart, making you stretch wider.
You feel your legs shaking and lean back against the window.
"You better stay quiet if you don't want to get caught," his voice is low and slightly threatening. "If you're a good girl and stay quiet we'll be able to do this more."
He smirks at you as he adds a third finger. You bite your lip but still groan.
"Go on and move your hips. I know you want to. Fuck yourself on my fingers. Show me how I make you feel."
They let your hair go so that he can explore the rest of your body. Groping you, squeezing you, helping you rock your hips.
You wanted him. You wanted him bad. But you knew you could only have his fingers. His fingers plunge into you as you rock your hips.
His thumb starts to rub your clit. Your tell would have been louder if he didn't cover your mouth in time.
"You must like that," he rubs you while his fingers fuck you. His hand presses against you harder and he smirks. "Sounds like someone is coming."
Once he said it you could hear footsteps coming down the hall with there being barely anyone in the school any noise seemed loud.
He takes his hand off your mouth and pulls over the curtain from the window to cover the two of you. "You better stay quiet, because I'm not stopping until you cum."
He doesn't cover your mouth, instead his fingers move faster. You bite your lip and dig your nails into him.
Theo presses his forehead against yours, looking you in the eyes as he somehow manages to get his fingers deeper.
The footsteps are getting louder, they are definitely coming towards the classroom.
The footsteps stop. "Theo are you- oh. Not here."
It's Vincent. The club must have ended. He says something else, but he's walking away so you can't make it out.
You swear you were holding your breath the whole time.
"Sounds like it's time to go. You better cum soon if you want to," he teases you with his fingers thrusting in rougher.
"Ahh-hh. I'm close, I'm close," you start to rock your hips again and you feel his thumb press harder against your clit.
For a moment you think it's slipping away, but then your legs tremble and you quickly tug Theo's hair. "Theo!" You try to hold back your yell.
If it wasn't for the grip you had on his hair he would have kissed you to shut you up. His fingers stop and you pant.
He pulls his fingers out of you and puts your underwear back in place before laying your skirt flat. Theo fixes the curtain and you try getting your legs to work.
If he can do that with his fingers then what can he do with his dick?
Theo gets his books cleaned up and in his bag. He looks over at you with a smirk. "Do you need help walking, hondje?"
"I-Im fine!" You slowly walk back over to your things and put them in your bag.
"And don't forget, once you figure out who to do your project on, I'll gladly help" he leans in and kisses you, then fixes your shirt. "Let's go. I don't want to keep my broer waiting."
He puts his bag on one shoulder while you put yours on, then take his hand, leaving the classroom.
~~
Tag list~
@kissmetwicekissmedeadly @fang-and-feather @xalxtusxiao @namine-somebodies-nobody @ana-thedaydreamer @evil-quartett @ameyoruakiikemenseries @yrenesposts @tele86 @damekathearasi @lokis-laugh @candied-boys @breadmercury @aquagirl1978 @xenokiryu @nightghoul381 @vampiricpancake @lulu-the-smol-floof @tako-cafe @floydsteeth
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from: @starflungwaddledee
to: @post-it-notes7
message from santa:
"happy holidays post-it-notes! 🎄🥳 i know you very politely only wished for a few modest things- characters high fiving, or struggling in christmas attire- but i hope you'll still enjoy this given that i kinda went the opposite direction entirely! i'm an enormous fan of your work and most times you post anything i wind up browsing your art tag from tip-to-tail in enraptured delight. as such, i thought it was only fair i give back something a little more significant in gratitude for all the joy your work has given me.
i knew i wanted to do a comic, so i was thrilled you already had a whole storyverse for me to work from!! this scene seemed the most obvious choice (chapter 8 of "wishful thinking" on ao3) given that i enjoy a dramatic fight scene 😂 i tried to stick as beat-by-beat to the writing as i could and worked in as many details as possible; i hope it'll be fun to see it envisioned this way! merry christmas!
~starflung 🎀🔔 "
#phew... this is by far the most ambitious piece i've ever posted here! 12 pages! this is why i've been so afk from other work haha!#shout out to the poor mods who sent through assignments and received no small amount of all-caps panicked screaming from me in response!!#me?! draw a gift for THE post-it-notes7!? immediately knew i had to overachieve to stand any hope of being up to the bar haha#if you feel these characters look a little different to how i usually draw them- that's totally on purpose!#i worked really hard to match post's designs and styling for them rather than my own; seeing as this was a gift!#actually think it stands out a *lot* surprisingly- given that they are still the exact same orbs. really interesting to compare to my usual#i hope some folks will notice all the details from the story in here! if you've read it and you recognised it please let me know!#genuinely hoping someone just recognises it on the first page. iconic canyon fight... what an honour to draw for this fic tbh#also thank you to the mods for handling all the wips and progress on this ridiculously sized entry from me with such grace#it's being posted on my personal blog due to length for anyone wondering. should be seamless... fingers crossed.#my art#my comics#meta knight#galacta knight#hnk secret santa#cw violence
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not to wade into discourse about shows online which I swore to stop doing but I think some of you need to recognize that not every piece of media is about you, and that focusing only on the themes that you personally identify with while erasing the ones you don't is Not Great
#some of you only know how to analyze things through a VERY specific queer lens that matches your own personal experiences and it shows#and I just think there is a lot more to enjoying narratives about having a complex relationship to gender in a very specific historical era#than arguing about what specific pronouns and labels they would use in 2023#and that white queer people reducing stories that are about a character's struggle with being multiracial#to *only* the queer elements that we identify with is. not great???#you can't separate these things you can't just ignore them#I'm obviously not equipped to do in-depth *commentary* on that aspect of mizu's character because I am in fact a white queer#that is for other people to speak about and I'm enjoying reading their takes on it#but like. you need to engage with media that is not about you. you need to assign artistic merit beyond what you personally identify with.#you can find things that resonate with you in them but you should not make the whole thing about you
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Somewhat more controversially - beyond just well-written characters, I think a lot of people find themselves repeatedly drawn to particular Types of characters. And I think the frequency with which those types appear, and the particular flavor of those types, is often (unnecessarily!) gendered. (Sticking with the espionage theme: it’s pretty difficult to find clever, calculating, socially astute female spy characters whose tradecraft doesn’t hinge primarily or at least very heavily on their sex appeal). TL;DR even very well-written female characters are often (unnecessarily!!!) confined to a much more limited set of narrative roles and archetypes.
And while I’m definitely not saying this is something we should all just accept completely uncritically, I do think it’s a pretty undeniable factor in why a lot of people’s lists of favorite blorbos might be kinda dude-heavy.
#as an aside one of the things I’m enjoying about bg3 is that there’s a lot of genderswapped archetype stuff going on w the companions#reading tag#also#fandom#my posts#like to be clear i think that as writers we should be the change we wish to see in the world#add depth and dimension to characters that canon did wrong by! genderswap some archetypes!#ask yourself if there is any particular reason the character you created needs to be the gender you initially assigned them!#but also i think it’s at least *slightly* more complex than people not engaging with characters just because they’re women#personally i have a weak spot for emotionally reserved/guarded characters who struggle with vulnerability and self-revelation#there is nothing inherently gendered about this and I can certainly name female characters that fit the mold!#but also surprise surprise: Socially Enforced Masculinity Norms And The Crushing Weight Thereof are a thing#and this is reflected in fiction. and in fictional dudes.
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“we think the legal age for weed should be 25 because that’s when the brain stops developing and also because weed is linked to some people developing schizophrenia”
look I am not someone who thinks cannabis is some panacea but holy fucking shit. one, that is Not How Brain Development Works and two, the relationship between cannabis use and schizophrenia is more complex than “if you smoke weed you will develop schizophrenia.” (The linked article, which is pretty anti-cannabis, states several times that while cannabis use can cause psychosis – which is different than schizophrenia – in some people, development of schizophrenia has a lot to do with other factors, like genetics, besides just “did you smoke weed?” We know that cannabis use is correlated with higher likelihood of developing schizophrenia, but that does not mean cannabis usage causes schizophrenia.)
also I think that if you are saying this shit in a ***policy/legislation position*** you need to show more proof and explain the complexity better than just spouting pseudoscience (the brain development thing) or oversimplifying a very complex topic (the “cannabis is linked to development of schizophrenia” thing). but what would I, a person with a public health background who does policy research as part of my job, know about that? after all, I’m just a crazy schizophrenic person with a schizophrenia-spectrum disorder so clearly anything I say on the issue is ill-informed and a sign I don’t have perspective on my illness! (\heavy sarcasm)
#I am going to tear the guest speaker who assigned these readings a new one in class tomorrow#also before you ask#yes of course this is a state NAMI chapter#as in the NAMI with such stunning policy positions as ‘we should get rid of the IMD exclusion and warehouse more people in institutions’#and ‘no of course people with schizophrenia can’t be leaders in our support groups we’d never allow that’#the professor for the class is like ‘yeah they have some sucky political positions but it’s important to let them speak’#of course this is the same professor who let some guy come talk about his job as an RBT for an hour because he’s autistic#donnie talks#donnie vents#institutionalization cn#drugs cn#institutions cn#talking in tags
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the urge to write vs the urge to create a sim and make them a famous best selling author to live through vicariously
#writing is painful because i have to read it and physically cringe#playing sims is easy 😎😎😎👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻#i usually cheat and give them high skills and promote them but id do it propperrllyy this once#until i got impatient lmfao#or i could actually write but thats just 💀💀#i have some uni work to do but uh no#creative writing uni work i mean#one of my modules is fairytales ive gotta rewrite a fairytale for my assignment but i dont wanna#she wanted us to be creative with the fairytale we picked so i picked some random niche one from hans christain anderson called the rose elf#its actually so slay theres a murder lmao#and in my rewrite im turning the couple into lesbians because double slay#and also im giving the girl some lines and autonomy because in the original she meets up with her bf who gets murdered by her brother then#she cries for days then dies in her sleep from sadness so 💀💀 homegirl is gonna fight back for her GIRLFRIEND in my one <3 shell still cry#just she is not dying from sadness padme style okay she knows it was the brother but doesnt confront him in the original shes gonna be#kicking and screaming in mine plz and thank you#okay maybe i should write#sims 4#writing
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i got the okay from my professor to write historically accurate fanfiction about witches in the 1500s for an assignment and i’m trying to figure out a way to write about the Wittebane brothers without making it too obvious or based too much/little in toh universe…….
#like i can’t just state that there’s a whole different joyous dimension that witches come from cause that’s not how it acctually happened#unless you mean Hell but that’s still not really correct#in the Middle Ages in Central and Anglo Europe there was definitely some belief of an Other World where magical beings can come from#but humans practicing magic goes back and forth of being tolerable to executable#and the time period i’m dealing with here is not so happy go lucky hehe fun witches#if Evalene didn’t have a portal to go back to or weaponry magical powers then she would’ve been caught and hanged lol#‘real’ witches were accused of playing offence rather than defense#what we see as objectively defensive acts (resisting torture or not answering questions)#were taken as offensive attacks on God and community#Phillip Wittebane would have a blast as an inquisitor and scribe in court. he loooved manipulation and torture#toh#i should post my previous writing assignment cause apparently (according to my friends who i read it aloud to) it’s really well written lol#it’s about a gay woman falling in love with a feminine spirit and using magic to call upon her and run away with her#anyways
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Chappell Roan... ily..... do not regret finding you on bandcamp in 2020..... but if I see one more separatist terfy asshole say lesbians are the only ones to be able to relate to part of a song ABOUT A PAST LOVER EXPERIENCING comphet and NOT FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF someone experiencing it, I'm going to kill myself.
#lesbians stop usint comphet to be fucking assholes challenge: impossible#surprise surprise bitches people have more nuanced experiences than the gold stars want you to believe ✨️#thr fact i saw one of them say being attracted to butches is comphet IM KILLING SOMEONE#also saw one say ONLY lesbian women experience it which tells me these fuckers havent read up on their shit#“I undertook 'Compulsory Heterosexuality' ... to contribute to an issue on sexuality#from any perspective I chose. That it should be read as a manifesto or doctrine never occurred to me.“#-ADRIENNE RICH#some of you need to read a goddamn book before you adopt words to assign your whole experiences and others as good or evil#rich never wanted comphet to be used as a separatist tool yet here yall are Repeating Terf Talking Points#hot take; multi spec attraction people do experience comphet i know because I LIVE IN FUCKING UTAH AND I KNOW BI MORMONS
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#periodical life updates#WAUGH. HOW DARE U ASSIGN ME 24 PAGES FROM THE TEXTBOOK. I TOSSA YOU AT A WALL LIKEA SPAGHETTI.#*reads it anyway* -_-#urghghgh i HATE THIS i hate textbook. i hate academic reading it is the most boring sht. even if the topic is interesting the ADHD is fcked#struggling to comprehend sociology jargon while my brain is actively recoiling. i should get a fckign award for being forced to do this.#almost done. almost done. using this as a space to complain when i can't fcking take it anymore. then i go back to reading for a while.#RAAAUGHHHH. OKAY IM FCKIGNG DONE. the ending was not read thoroughly but WHPO FCKIGNG CARE ITS JUST REITERATION#DOES A LITTLE SCREAM!!!! gotta print out my notes (BECAUSE OF COURSE WE'RE ALSO FORCED TO TAKE NOTES)#and turn them in during class (<- ABSURD. FCK YOU!! WHY DO YOU WANT THEM)#anyway.i got an hour til class starts. i did some sign language practice and i might either do homework or draw the eca for today#im sleepy tired. i want to go home u-u alas.#dunno if i'll get a treatsie today. i deserve one but we have food at home#maybe another day.
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and once again I am suddenly overwhelmed with an intense feeling of not really fitting into a gender
#honestly I don't even know what this is about I just saw some stories on insta and it's like oh look#she is so proud to be a woman whoa ppl...actually do that huh#and I just realised I never really felt that way like. not fully!! maybe a bit of that yeah but not to this full extent of this#womanhood thing#and I mean yeah I probably felt more of it in my teens and like 20s but it only just occurred to me that it's never been to this full extent#of being womanly and motherly and nurturing etc etc#and now I do not feel like that art all I mean I mostly am a creachur. a divine being. if you will. a freak#and I love it tomorrow I'm gonna go try on some skirts which I haven't done in ages and I'm definitely gonna be doing it in a queer way#not in a girl way#anyway#I know this is really weird going on tag rants here where nobody except a few of my mutuals (hey guys love you lots thought u should know)#is gonna see let alone read this but I really don't have anyone irl to talk to abt gender stuff and I mean I tried?#but just idk. ppl don't get it? like everyone in my life already knows I'm queer and they sorta hand wave it away like that is too#complicated and not that important - and it isn't!! but it also is!#I think they might have been more understanding and sympathetic if I were trans but I'm not and being nonbinary is somehow too difficult for#them to grasp idk#and when I say I don't want to be a different gender and feel increasingly outside and to the left of my assigned gender the more I think#about it they just. do not get it. and it is kinda discouraging and leaves me feeling like not talking about it with them ever#I don't know why I'm writing all this tbh#gender#queer things
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