helloooo have a messy scribble page of oc concepts. unfortunately, im in love and will now proceed to ramble At Length

but before that! rudimentary height chart!

all i know rn is Mairy - the cow - is about the same height as Howdy/Barnaby/Poppy (around 8ft), Hettie & Daisy are in the Wally/Julie/Sally category (around 3ft), and Jesterly is more Frank/Eddie (around 4ft). Derry Drake is fuckoff huge, and Casey is... idk really. tall but not That tall

so. rambles. i... have those, yeah

Mairy Love - she/her - lesbian a gorgeous white/blue cow! originally she was gonna be pink/white, but blue/white is my favorite color combo and honestly? it's dairy colors to me. she's big! she's strong! she's very gentle and sweet but also takes shit from no one, even though she doesn't like confrontation much (unless its playful roughhousing! jokes fly completely over her head! i'm thinking she tends to a lovely orchard of various fruit trees, and probably cultivates some crops for fun as well. maybe seasonal ones? pumpkins for the spooky season, fir trees for those snowy days, etc.

Casey J. Mittens - he/him - aro this orange fella is scaredy cat central! unfortunately for him, he's also curious to a fault! curiosity killed the cat, and he fears the day that rings true for him! he'd rather curl up at home or in a cozy tree, crocheting something cute from one of his many balls of yarn than do anything else. he tries to be a voice of reason, but is too easily convinced otherwise. he's that friend who says "we shouldn't be doing this" as he wholeheartedly assists in the shenanigan in question.

Hettie (currently undecided) - she/her - bi true to her honeybee heritage, Hettie is a florist! she boasts an impressive array of flowers that she tends to like her life depends on it. she's always running around to make sure they're all getting the best care - and she's always checking in on her pals to make sure they're taken care of, too. she's a busy bee who wouldn't know a day's rest if it stung her on the ass! It takes a lot to make her mad, but everybody better watch out when her wings start buzzing

Daisy Hop - she/him - pan i actually created Daisy as a supplementary character for a certain au, but realized i could find a place for her in this little group. i'm thinking he runs a little shop - a roadside stall, more like - where she can both sell her own homemade candy & his friends' stuff! she's the only one in the group that can keep up with Hettie's energy, and even surpass it at times. though unlike Hettie, Daisy knows how to take (and appreciate) a break!

Jesterly - whatever/is/funniest - Derry a menace. they love pranks above all else, oftentimes at the expense of others. he's always up to something and is never not scheming something! there's always Someone to bother! in all honesty she's more like an annoying stray cat that no one can get rid of... and they better not try, or they'll face the wrath of this fool's Very large partner! The jester's cap never comes off, and neither does the mask!

Derry Drake - they/them - Jesterly there's no sugarcoating it - Derry is a big lazy grump! it's almost impossible to get them out of their cave, or off of any place they decide to nap. the only thing that can reliably get them moving is the promise - or prospect - of food. it's a wonder how they've accumulated such a hoard of random things in the back of their cave, seeing as they rarely get up at all. they're incredibly nearsighted and bite first, ask questions later - after all, who knows if the colorful blob in front of them is food or not! better to be safe than hungry!

currently in my mind they have their own little community deep in the woods. Daisy lives in a modified burrow, Maisy has a cute farmhouse, Casey lives in a cozy treehouse, Hettie has a small cottage, and Derry & Jesterly live in a cave. within their community, they share practically everything. want a snack? pluck something from the orchard. need a new pair of mittens? ask Casey! i suppose you could say they're communists <3 (except for Daisy. she won't charge his friends, but anyone else is free game)

Mairy and Hettie have romantic tension, Daisy and Derry are the only ones who can tolerate Jes, Mairy wants Jes dead, Casey is terrified of Derry, Daisy's rapid-fire speech confuses everyone but Hettie, etc. i should make a chart for funsies...

https://www.tumblr.com/fuck-customers/740474153557164032/this-is-totally-a-dick-move-but-im-doing-it?source=share

I wanted to address a reply I saw on this post that I submitted. (I prefer to stay anonymous on the off-chance that someone could figure out who I am from my blog. The chance is EXTREMELY small, but if you read the original ask, you'll understand my concern)

Someone responded, saying that (I'm paraphrasing) by leaving negative reviews, I'm causing corporate to cut hours to my location even more and this is hurting me and I should instead leave fake positive reviews.

Ok I GET where you're coming from, I do, and I'm sure others have had that same thought. HOWEVER, as I said in my original post, I. WANT. THAT. STORE. TO BURN. I said in my original post that I've worked there several years (actually 4+ years more than any other employee at my particular location) and I've gotten shit on left and right. By the company, by management, and by customers and while I am looking for another job, it would make me SO happy to watch that shithole burn.

In the time I've worked there:

-My hours are always the first to be cut whenever "budget cuts" come around

-I regularly get scheduled closing shift when the other shifts CLEARLY have not done their tasks (as in I clocked in less than a minute ago and my manager can clearly see that the amount of work left could not physically be made in 1 minute) yet the manager is on my ass every few seconds to clean up after all of them and if my shift ends and I cannot finish, I get a talking to.

-I have been physically shoved by a manager and berated in front of coworkers and customers and that + the already stressful day I was having made me hide in the bathroom and cry. Then a few days later, another manager who wasn't even there that day heard about the incident (not the crying part-I hid) and made fun of me for a small mistake and said that I deserved the other manager yelling at me

-I spent my first year covering every single shift whenever asked and cross-trained myself so I could work in all departments and get more hours that way (🤡) only to be repaid by never getting promotions or raises (I did stop covering shifts after it was blatantly obvious that I would not get a raise/promotion/anything but taken advantage of)

-I worked the entire pandemic every day, almost to full-time, yet they refused to actually make me full-time, scheduling me just under (30-35 hours) so I was essentially working full-time hours without being able to get full-time benefits.

-An SM that worked there for a year apparently was threatened by me (though in no way was I after her job, I even repeatedly expressed that I had no interest in becoming management) and proceeded to fabricate an entire false story and reported it to HR as an EEOC issue in an attempt to get me fired

-Plus the multiple leads that have come and go that either treat all employees like dogshit and/or me, specifically. Talking down to me/us and snapping at me/us.

-Not to mention the disrespectful customers who see that I appear young and automatically assume I am stupid and/or incompetent, the most memorable experience being the old man who straight up asked me if I had brain damage and the (separate) old woman who straight up asked me if I was stupid and then immediately flat-out called me stupid to my face 10 seconds later.

PLUS: the store has been extremely noticeably not managed. We don't get enough hours to actually clean the store up and when I personally tried to start some cleanup projects on my own, I was actively discouraged and scolded by management. The place is a mess and actual customers have complained to me personally and other employees that I've witnessed about how shitty the store looks and how shitty the shopping experience is, so odds are, real customers are making the same reviews. I'm just filling in for those who lost their receipts.

ALSO: In the years I've worked there, I have seen several positive reviews from real customers, in fact the store used to have almost exclusively positive reviews, yet I never once saw any rewards from that. I even had customers personally go up to my manager and tell him how helpful and nice I was, blah, blah, blah and he came back and told me what the customers said and never once rewarded me and instead cut my hours when budget cuts came around.

Posted by admin Rodney.

A/N: After an extremely long break, I’ve returned with this story after someone on ff.net requested an update.

***

There’s Nothing Friendly About It, Part 4

“Hm, maybe I should have picked a different book,” Kensi mused, flipping to the next page of a worn copy of “Jane Eyre”. She’d just finished narrating a heartbroken Jane leaving Mr. Rochester. “I remember it being less…depressing last time I read it,” Kensi continued to Deeks, even though she knew he wouldn’t respond.

From everything she’d read, reading was supposed to stimulate brain activity, and Kensi would do anything that might help Deeks regain consciousness. It had the added benefit of filling the silence and keeping her mind occupied. Nell had dropped off a small stack of books, including a couple Harry Potters, a terrible looking romance, and a couple of fantasy novels the other day.

“Why were crazy wives in old books always from tropics? Maybe we should switch to Harry Potter. Right now He Who Must Not He Named seems a little less dark. What do you think?”

“Not the fifth one.”

Kensi’s head snapped up at Deeks’ croaked request. His eyes were slightly cracked, his head turned towards her.

“Deeks,” she whispered, all but falling out the chair in her desperation to be at his side.

“Mm,” he grunted.

“Oh my god, you’re awake!” She cupped his cheek, needing to confirm what her eyes were telling him. His skin was just as pale and cool as before, but she saw the spark of light in his eyes.

“I’m guessing it would be in poor taste to joke right now?” Deeks said, pausing every few words to catch his breath. When he was done, he cleared his throat.

“You’ve been unconscious for six days,” Kensi told him carefully. “Do you remember what happened.

“Something not good.” He coughed a couple times and winced. “I remember something about mechanic and fraud, but nothing else. Did I get shot or stabbed this time?”

“How about we talk about that after I get a nurse?”

Deeks narrowed his eyes at her, but it didn’t have its usual affect since he blinked halfway through.

“I’ll be right back.” She hurried off, grabbing the first nurse she found (they all new her at this point), who immediately grabbed a car and accompanied Kensi back to Deeks’ room.

The nurse performed the usual checks and asked Deeks a series of orientation questions. For once, he wasn’t actively flirting, but Kensi could tell the nurse was charmed by all the same. Especially when he recalled her name.

“Well, your blood pressure, oxygen, and heart rate are in a good range,” she said. “I’ll ask the speech pathologist come around to assess you and

let your doctor know you’re awake.”

“Thank you, Renee.”

“Oh, you’re going to be trouble.” Smiling at Deeks, she patted his arm, then added to Kensi. “Don’t give him anything to drink or eat until the speech pathologist is by. Ok?”

Any worry Kensi had about Deeks insisting she answer his questions turned out to be unnecessary since his eyes started slipping closed again shortly after Nurse Renee left. He slept restlessly until the speech pathologist came.

She brought in a tray of various liquids and foods, giving Deeks a little of each to try. After that, she asked him a variety of questions and story problems. Even with his energy clearly waning again, Deeks answered them with little difficulty.

In the end, she determined that Deeks didn’t have any trouble with swallowing and aside from some confusion with the date and time, his cognition appeared to be unaffected. Kensi quietly sighed in relief.

Once the room was empty again, Deeks patted the side of his bed, waiting until Kensi gingerly scooted in beside him. He looked thoroughly exhausted and in pain, but determined.

She curled around him as best she could, automatically threading a hand through his hair.

“Ok, what happened?” Deeks asked.

“We went to the mechanics garage, just like you remembered and it turned into a shootout,” Kensi started. “You were hit.” She paused, needing to steel herself against the pain of remembering him laying on the ground, trying to stop his bleeding, and then watching him lose consciousness.

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m here,” Deeks murmured, shaking her free of the memories.

“The doctors said the bullet hit a small artery. You nearly bled out.” She shuddered, and Deeks kissed her temple.

“I guess that explains why it feels like several elephants walked over me.”

“Deeks.”

“I’m sorry.” He tried to slide his arm around her, but gave up when he couldn’t figure out the tangle of IVs. “Did we catch the guys who did it?”

“Um, yeah, they’re either dead or under arrest,” Kensi said. She knew what he was asking, and that she was lying by omission. She also knew she couldn’t tell him the truth. She hadn’t even come to terms with the reality that he’d been shot by a teammate.

“Good,” Deeks sighed. He closed his eyes, then squinted one back open almost immediately. “You’ll stay here?”

“I wouldn’t dream of leaving.”

Closing his eyes again, he settled into the pillow. Kensi ran her fingers through his hair, relief overshadowing every other emotion.

The truth could wait until later.

ok so if you don't mind combining some of those prompts, the 'Messy half asleep kisses' one but with the 'Are you wearing Chapstick?' With a focus on Shigadabi, i just keep thinking about how funny and sweet it could be!

Prompt: Messy half asleep kisses + "Are you wearing chapstick?" 

"What do you want for dinner, lizard-lips?" Dabi calls from the kitchen behind the bar into the main room. League is finished up with their latest job, doing their debriefing, and this one paid well enough that the others are going out for a night in the shadier parts of town and to indulge a little. He and Duster are staying to indulge with each other in a pseudo-date night. Dabi's mostly just looking forward to his lover being able to rail him without having to worry about being overheard. 

"Don't call me 'lizard'!" Spinner snaps automatically. 

"I wasn't talking to you, gecko!" He shouts back. "I was talking to the scaly bastard that I kiss on a regular basis." 

"Keep that up and I won't be kissing you at all, firefly." Duster intones dryly as Toga coos at them and Magne snickers. 

"Probably a good thing, shouldn't be putting sandpaper all over my scars." 

"Alright if you two are already starting with the blatant flirting then that's our cue to fucking go." Spinner says, seconded and then contradicted by Twice. Dabi hears them shuffling out and decides that if Duster isn't going to give him an answer then he's just going to make whatever's fast. 

Doesn't take long until it's just him and Shigaraki left, even less time until Duster is coming up behind him, hands curling around his hips. Keeps one finger away from his skin and Dabi tilts his head to the side as his breath trails over his neck. But he doesn't press his mouth against his skin the way he's expecting, the way he wants. He half turns to try and catch his lips, but Tomura shifts again, only manages to press his lips against the edge of his jaw. 

"Duster," 

He hums, "No, you said that sandpaper was bad for your scars." 

"You're so fucking petty." Stubborn too. Because they don't end up having dinner. End up in bed instead and Duster doesn't kiss him even once. Won't put his mouth anywhere on him either. Works him over with his deadly hands and cock and that's still fucking great, don't get him wrong, but Dabi likes Shig's mouth and wants it back the whole time. Doesn't get it even when he begs. Still ends up fucked-out and boneless when they're finished though, curled up against Duster's side, figures he's made his point. Will apologize or grovel if he has to tomorrow. 

///

Wakes up as the bed shifts. Knows that it's Shig climbing back in with him because his lover barely sleeps and never spends the whole night in bed with him once he's completely out. But always climbs back in when he notices that Dabi's starting to wake. Reaches for Duster and is able to pull him close, pull their mouths together into a sleepy, messy kiss because his brain is still getting started back up. Takes him a second to notice that Shig's lips are slicker than they should be, that there's an overwhelming, artificial fruity taste to them that he does not like. Pulls away, nose scrunching up, thinks that he smells peaches. 

"What the fuck? Are you wearing chapstick?" 

"You were so adamant last night, you don't like it, firefly?" 

"I was being sarcastic and you're being a jackass. It's gross." He grumbles "Why do you even have peach chapstick?" 

"Toga brought it back for me to help keep your bitching at bay." And he sounds incredibly smug about it. 

"I fucking hate all of you, take it off." 

"I don't know if I want to be nice to you when you were being so rude last night, baby." 

Groveling it fucking is then. Is still sleepy and loose-limbed, but he loops his arms around Tomura's neck and presses in tight against him. "Please, sir, want your mouth on mine. Want to taste you, not something fake." Presses his own mouth to Duster's neck, kisses and nips at his skin, feels his hands tighten around his hips. Knows that his throat is sensitive, that he likes it when Dabi sinks his teeth into his skin there as much as Dabi likes it when Shig's rough with his seams. But hands on his hips means that he hasn't wiped off that nasty chapstick yet so he adds, "Love your mouth so much, makes me feel so good when you kiss me. Please, sir, please I want you to kiss me." Lets his voice thin into a needy little whine because Duster loves it when he begs too. Not even really faking it. Does want his kisses again. Not even a day without them and he's already desperate to have them back. 

Should be expecting it but the air is still knocked out of him when Duster pushes him onto his back and leans over him. Wipes away the slickness from his lips and Dabi's temperature creeps up a little higher as he's allowed to pull him in again. Much better. Only the faintest traces of peaches. Never going to tell Shigaraki that he likes how rough his lips are, that the texture of his quirk-cracked skin helps Dabi feel him even more through the scarred skin of his lower lip. Savors being allowed to lick into his mouth, in how the kisses feel uncoordinated and frantic, like Duster was just as frustrated not being able to kiss him last night too. Dabi is more than happy to stay in bed until they've both had their fill now. 

He does make sure to find the fucking chapstick and melt it into a puddle when they do finally get out of bed though. 

Thanks for submitting!

i used to obfuscate any "disagreeable" feelings i had in social situations to the point of outright lying (ex: saying my opinion aligned with that of the person to whom i was speaking when it didn't, even when the topic of discussion was entirely inconsequential) because none of the virulent hatred and disgust i felt towards my own behavior was sufficient to make it less than entirely automatic. (knee-jerk, ingrained since childhood, reflexive as closing your eyes when you sneeze etc)

so i started correcting myself after i'd do something like that, even if the space between incident and revisitation was minutes, or days. notably when a print shop misprinted my poster and offered to reprint it for free and i said no that's OK i went back the next morning and was like hey someone offered to reprint this and i said no but i'd like that actually. (this scared me very much at the time.) other ex: "i know i said x when we were talking about y earlier but i actually meant z" said a thousand different ways across a thousand different contexts. eventually the pause shortened & i could fix whatever i'd said immediately afterward, usually with a lighthearted "i don't know why i just said that! here's how i actually feel ....."

which i mention now because demonstrating repeatedly to myself that actually we're not going to slink into the side alleys of conversations anymore out of the overgrown fear of what follows disagreeableness has begun to have an extraordinarily beautiful payoff in that now i have started to say what i mean as instinctively as i once swallowed it. it emerges from my mouth clean, sometimes roughly worded or clumsy but honest and immediate. this has catalyzed a tremendous improvement in my self-esteem and run concurrent with a greater lightness in social situations, a firm feeling that i am stood inalienably on even ground and free to play and explore in conversation rather than rocket down tracks laid long ago. turning an instinct into its opposite feels like magic. look what the human brain is capable of doing! look what i am!

omg your ffxiv journey is so sweet ;____; it's so touching to see other haurchefant fans waaaaah everything in ishgard is so crazy. do you have any thoughts? on his family, ysayle, estinien? aymeric?

awwww ty i feel like all i've really done is tweet "i love haurchefant" or complain abt fantasy racism but i'm happy you think so...! and yess infinite love for haurchefant forever i was not expecting to fall for him like that at all. he is literally perfect.......!!!

im actually obsessed w ishgard im hoping you understand that asking for my thoughts on anything is opening a floodgate but i will try to reel it in! ok! here we go!

ok i love ishgard.... i love its extremely insular and severe and almost monastic atmosphere. i am a hugeee fan of secluded locations as the setting of a story so when i realised hvw was going to be largely about ishgard i was so excited. i also really love plots where characters are in hiding/have to take refuge in a hidden and secretive place??? and then the fact that the place you have to take refuge in is haurchefants family home??? i started writing fanfic immediately i literally felt like i was being spoiled like they wrangled that from my brain i genuinely couldn't believe i could experience so much luxury all at once. of course that's been ruined after doing the vault which i have been genuinely handing terribly but. moving on!

emmanellain is so funny and i think the contrast between him and artoirel (silliness/overconfidence vs seriousness/insecurity) is really interesting, down to where you go with them on their separate missions. really fun way of exploring more of ishgard. i like their dad too he's genuinely sweet which i thought was a nice surprise. it really stuck out to me this one moment where the war worsens and he says you can't stay anymore bc its become so dangerous, bc i just automatically assumed everyone would beg you to stay and help. that really touched me. i feel like hvw somehow passed my convoluted eq test

also learning haurchefant was an illegitimate son in the way you do w artoirel just telling you really stood out to me o__o not bc that kind of thing is an issue but bc of how you learn it idk backstory on the characters kind of throws me off in a good way bc of how linear the game is. idk i cant formulate thoughts on haurchefant rn itd need its own post. some other time..

i don't believe in things like nobility as an actual moral concept, obviously, and fantasy games let alone ishgard really test my patience with it, but i do love it aesthetically. same w christianity. i really like idk arthurian medieval aesthetics. the high houses + their motifs really got me like i specifically love unicorns and roses if hvw was trying to appeal to me directly it knew exactly how. ishgard's politics too i thought that shit was so interesting i'd love to learn more about the rocky relationships btwn the houses. and we loveeeee toppling the church thank you heavensward

there were a lot of times though where i was really frustrated with the dragonsong war and this is my issue with ffxiv in general but the way it treats beast races is extremely disturbing. i pretend i cant read whenever a character on the "good" side talks about "civility" or "reason/sense". and the ishgard lore being ppl directed by their god to inhabit a land only to find that land inhabited by "savages" (the dragons) that they have to kill now bc as "reasonable" beings they have a religious claim to that land...is an insane thing to write about!!! jrpgs are crazy!!!!!! like i genuinely need it to stop but i guess they at least (???) kind of turned things around with hresvelgr and ysayle offering the perspective of the other side and i think they made it an interesting issue enough for the game but lord it is disconcerting. that being said the foundation of ishgard being a total lie (and being described constantly as a sin) is still a lot of fun to me like thank god. and the quirky somewhat found family journey w ysayle, estinien and alphinaud to unearth the truth was one of the best parts of hvw imo. i loved seeing estinien act almost like an older brother to alphinaud, and for estinien and ysayle to constantly be at odds and alphinaud trying to keep things together. i am so fond of that section of the game.. just felt like you were climbing higher and higher into figurative heaven (i love the title heavensward im glad they used it in such fun ways) and seeing stubborn bastards like estinien question what he knew. he was so funny by the way i was not expecting that even though i knew an estinien was a popular char in the game for a while. i also like ysayle a lot like her passion was very compelling, and when she finally talks to hresvelgr the way her goals would be tinged w a sort of self-serving personal feeling at times i found really interesting. all of it was so interesting whenever the plot strayed from ishgard id be like take me back PLEASEEE. idk i like chars who behave like tools (estinien) or become tools by accident (ysayle). i think those two should hang out and bicker and begrudgingly accept each other forever

also i love aymeric like i already loved aymeric from post-arr idk if you play w another dub but his english voice has this softness to it that i find so cute. idk he's kind of delicate to me maybe not what they were going for but i'm into it. the fact that post-arr to me is just watching aymeric and haurchefant be in a wol-loving contest MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACHGHH i love the ishgardians how much they like wol in a place that's notorious for being so cold is so great. i think love is real on earth. and not in the self-insert "i need every char in this game to want me" way i just mean that i like love a lot, and they are not shy about the fact that they love you. its great. also when they revealed aymeric was actually an idealist and that getting jailed as a heretic meant little to him if it could bring about a new ishgard--literal nail in my coffin. i love idealism!! i was really pleasantly surprised that the nobles you come to know decided to care more about bringing in a new age for the region rather than being noble. whether or not that change comes is to be seen ofc.. but considering the brume is a location that exists well. what is with this game and the fantasy cops always being really bad...? like is ffxiv actually down for the cause...? (joke)

ik ishgard has its whole classism thing going on but that seems more like fray's department now which i have yet to dance with.. i mean literally just dissolve the class system...but this post is already very unorganised so. no more. i would pay an infinite amount of money to bring haurchefant back. each time i think about him i slip up and think about his gravestone instead and feel nauseous. great game!

Okay I haven't seen stranger things yet (I know I know I know) so I don't know about Steve.

MATT HOWEVER

I watched daredevil recently but then got so consumed with uni that I feel like I didn't get to enjoy fics thos or headcannons

Plus my brain is so occupied by Bucky all the damn time ngl

So I really want to hear some of your ideas about Matt I feel like I'm not there yet with my own headcannons but who doesn't love thinking about him as frustrating as he can be

MATT 😵‍💫 the hold that man has on me…

no bc that’s the thing that man is so FRUSTRATING… like ok here’s kind of how i imagine matt in my head:

basically i’m imagining reader as an entry level lawyer, maybe going to nelson & murdock to shadow them/work as an intern. and matt AUTOMATICALLY takes a liking to you. like you come in for an interview and foggy is like “well we’ll have to deliberate together and see if you’re the right fit-“ but matt immediately cuts him off like “we’d love to have you in board, can you start monday?” like he’s UGH

also, matt is SUCH a tease, and he definitely uses his heightened senses to his advantage. he’ll be handing you documents or sneak past you in the hall, and he’ll purposefully brush against you or gently place his hand on your hip so you don’t bump into him, and he can feel your pulse going a MILE A MINUTE. he always chuckles to himself over how sensitive you are to him, even with the most insignificant touches😵‍💫

and he especially loves when you come to court to watch him on a case. you’re always very punctual, vigorously taking notes and writing down any and all information you can. but sometimes, when matt’s really go at it (typically on a cross examination) you get sort of… distracted😵‍💫 he just looks so hot up there questioning the witness. he’s obviously very easy on the eyes (you can tell he’s absolutely ripped under the suit i mean come on how is a lawyer so fit?), but it’s the fact that he makes it look so easy. he seems to always now what to say and how to make things go his way, especially in court, and it honestly just makes you want him ALL THE MORE🤭 but sometimes, matt is so focused in on your increasing heart rate and your elevated body temperature that he sometimes looses his train of thought. matt will hear you make the slightest little gasp at his line of questioning - no one else would even be able to hear you, but he obviously catches it - and he will stop mid sentence just listening to your breathing😵‍💫 the judge would be like “you ok councilor?” and matt would be all flustered like “ahem, sorry, where was i?” UGH

plus, he’s a HUGE tease before you’re officially together, always being overly flirtatious at josie’s or even at work on late nights. foggy always acts disgusted and it’s so funny💀 matt’s just so smooth it’s like electricity every time you talk to him, and he loves to get a reaction out of you. it’s always a lot more fun at night after work at josie’s bc matt takes off his suit jacket and rolls up his sleeves and the things you would let that man do to you…

but i think the key to matt is that after you guys start officially dating/eventually living together, he becomes the most shy, blushy, flustered man alive. like he’s never really been good with emotions or relationships in general, and you can get to him so easily. he’s definitely still cocky and suave with you, but you’ve found little ways to push his buttons and make him BLUSH LIKE A MADMAN😫 you’re favorite one is calling him “handsome” in public, he simply does not know how to react. the first time you called him that he genuinely had to excuse himself from the convo SNHDJSK

i gotta stop myself bc i could take FOREVER about him🫶🫶🫶

I have been reading a couple of stories on ao3 that is based on Beauty and the Beast, where Bruno is turned into a rat monster and Mirabel ends up meeting him as a child and saving him as a teen. I would love to see your take on this au.

Oh! I have heard of stories like this, but I haven't actually gotten around to reading one BUT I did read/watch Beauty and the Beast, so eskitit.

Sorry this took so long, I kept getting side tracked, BUT IM HERE 😭

So I think that she progressively save him over time. As you said, she met him as a child. For some weird reason, she was not at all freaked out by him? If anything, she was just curious. Little 5 year old Mirab had nothing to do around the village, so she ends up wandering off a lot, hence why she met Bruno.

She learns that he's lonely and she is not having it at all. If no one else will be his friend, she will, she doesn't care about what he looks like. All she knows is that he's nice asl, sometimes sees the future, and for some reason sort of loots like a rat; but again, thats OK with her. Its not like anyone else will play with her.

Over the years, she keeps going back, just being a friend. He won't say why he is the way he is, but he has implied that he was once human, like her. He doesn't talk about it often though. He also tells her to never, ever , touch the vision that sits in a room alone. As a child, shes only seen him make a vision like 3 times, but he usually destroyed them after that. But the one vision he won't allow anyone or anything to touch, is the one in the glass case.

And she's always obeyed this rule. She never went into the room, she could only look from afar. She could never actually tell what was on the tablet and Bruno sure as heck wasn't gonna tell her. But she did notice that every so often, the tablet would be missing a small piece off the corner or something like that. Strange.

Mirabel doesn't even know that Bruno is her tío until she's like. 12. He's just talking about his past life and all that and mentions Julieta and Pepa and Mirabel kind of just connects the dots from there. And then she makes it her mission to save him. Bruno won't tell her how, but she's going to figure it out by herself if she has too.

It takes her months of digging, but she finally figures it out: she has to somehow integrate Bruno back into the family. Or, at least get the family to recognize him as a loved family member again.

She automatically rules out Alma and Isabela to start out with, obviously. Pepa is too emotional, and the 4 other grandkids just don't find interest in him. So that left Julieta, Agustín, Felíx, and Antonio.

She starts with little 2 year old Antonio.

Anddddd that’s all I got. My brain just said times up 😭 BUT, if you want me to continue, send in another ask and I’ll do my best to rack my brain for the rest. Meanwhile, I’m gonna go rewatch Beauty and the Beast.

long distance relationship scenario?

😂😂😂 why did my brain automatically think about Jay and his s/o FaceTiming each other while naked? 😳🫢🫣🤭__________________________________________

*this scenario takes place on a hot day in July 2019*

…

It wasn’t easy being in a relationship with someone who lived halfway around the world but then again, there was nothing normal about your relationship with Jay.

You knew each other since you were little. Jay was your first kiss. Your first boyfriend. The one who took your virginity. But then he left, and although he promised to come back, you knew he wouldn’t.

So it came as a complete shock to you when he confessed his feelings for you during one of his recent visits.

“What does that mean?” You had asked him.

Were you supposed to pack your bags and follow him to South Korea? Or did he just want to get it off his chest?

The more you thought about it, the more the latter option made sense. Jay didn’t strike you as a guy who would date someone he couldn’t be with.

But you couldn’t have been more wrong.

As soon as he was back in Seoul he started calling, texting, even FaceTiming you whenever he had free time.

‘What are you doing?’

‘How’s the weather?’

‘How was your breakfast/lunch/dinner?’

‘What did you do on the weekend?’

‘How was work today?’

At first you answered all his questions with a chuckle, not quite getting his joke. But as time went by his tone changed.

‘I miss you!’

‘I wish I could be with you!’

‘I would do this and that if I was with you right now.’

He confused you, but you wouldn’t let it show. Then one day you told him about a new colleague who tried hitting on you and watched as Jay’s whole demeanor changed.

‘… and what did you say?’

“What do you mean?”

‘You told him you have a boyfriend, right?’

“I do?”

‘What the…? I know we didn’t properly talk about it but I thought you knew?’

“I’m just teasing you. Relax!” You said, watching his face on the screen get redder and redder. You refrained from telling him he looked cute when he was mad.

There was a long pause in which neither of you spoke. For a moment you thought the screen froze but then Jay blinked.

‘I know you’re not a fan of the long distance thing, but honestly, even if you were here, I wouldn’t be able to see you as much as I would want to.’

“That busy, huh?”

‘You know I’m going on tour, right? I thought maybe you’d want to join me for the U.S. leg? Come on the road with me!’

“For a whole month?”

It was doable for you since you were a writer but being crammed in a tour bus or living out of a suitcase was a weird way for a new couple to spend time together.

‘I want to see you! Be with you. I have my last show in Seattle on December 1st and then two weeks off before I have to fly back to Seoul. I’d like to spend them with you.’

“Me too.” You said, but you sounded less convincing.

Truth be told, you liked this whole long distance thing. Especially when had to listen to your friends talk about their problems with their boyfriends. They were messy, unreliable and forgot important dates. You didn’t have that problem with Jay.

He remembered to FaceTime you every day, ask about your day, tell you how much he loved you.

What would it be like if you were actually physically together? Would things still be the same or would you go on each other’s nerves because you never actually lived together.

“Did you ever live with any of your exes?”

‘갑자기?’

“Did you or did you not?”

‘Of course not!’

“Then how do you know we won’t get on each other’s nerves?”

‘Babe! Are you concerned about that? Don’t worry, it’ll be fine!’

“You think?”

‘Yes! I’m sure.’

“Ok then, I’ll go on the road with you.”

The smile on his face brightened and he winked at you when you noticed his hand traveling south to the strings on his sweatpants.

“What are you doing?”

‘I’ve missed you.’

You saw a glint in his eyes, he clearly talked about the x-rated video of you lolling around naked in bed you had sent him last month.

“Then go and watch the video I sent you.” You answered coyly.

‘Why, when I have you right here?’ He pulled his sweatpants down, revealing the fact that we wore no underwear underneath. ‘Your turn now!’

Were you really doing this? It was one thing to record a little spicy video and send it to him and another thing to strip for him live on camera.

To hell with it!, you thought, before you pulled your dress over your head, sitting there in your lace underwear.

‘You have my favorite underwear on! Admit it, you were planning for something like this to happen!’

You laughed, shaking your head as you reached behind your back to undo your bra. Simultaneously you saw Jay’s shirt come off, his washboard abs looking well defined.

Your panties were the last thing to come off before you mimicked Jay’s posture and sat legs apart in front of your laptop.

‘Touch yourself for me, baby!’

You did as instructed, massaging your breasts with one hand while the other rubbed your clit. Your eyelids fluttered but Jay’s hoarse voice made you look at him as he stroked his erection. You saw the precum dripping off its tip as Jay viciously licked his lips, his eyes glued on your body.

‘The things I would do to you!’

His sexy moans took you over the edge and you screamed out his name, panting as you threw your head back, riding out your orgasm.

Soon after you heard Jay spewing profanities as he too came. You opened your eyes and a blush crept up your face. Suddenly you felt very shy.

“Ok, umm, I gotta go. Bye.”

You quickly disconnected the call and cursed mentally when you received Jay’s text seconds later.

Don’t feel embarrassed, babygirl! I enjoyed it a lot 😉

You sighed, thinking how you’d survive the next three months until you would reunite with Jay.

🥹🫠 Guys, This story actually has a happy ending and I hope someone reads it and regains some faith in humanity lol🫠🥹 HOWEVER

Gonna get personal for a second. I had a legitimate breakdown at college today.

(Sorry it typed out way longer than I intended it too be)

Ok so here is how it happened

I literally went in to take my test today and I legit had a mental breakdown not even gonna lie. They handed me the test and I was already on edge from no sleep and then my ADHD meds on no sleep and a BANG (do not recommend at all) and luckily it was a situation where I got my own room to take this test in. Anyhow, I legit start crying like to the point where I can’t even read the questions and then if I managed to read it I started crying even more because my brain started to think I’m automatically going to get the answer wrong. So anyway I legit get up and walk out of the test!! to the office of the guy in charge of watching over the test taking. He literally knew shit was wrong. He was on the phone and and legit told the person on the other line “hey I’m gonna have to call you back”.🥺 Literally the second he hangs up I tried to get a sentence out and I all I could manage was literally me crying almost to the point of it being hysterical (embarrassed af about that btw) and me saying “I’m so sorry but I can’t take the test right now, I don’t care if he doesn’t give me a grade I can’t” He legit takes the test from me and says it’s totally fine and that it’s going to be ok and then he went to get me water 🥹 and to find my “school counselor” like the person who does your education plan not a therapist lol and she happened to be there and she talked to me and I told her how I literally haven’t slept and my bipolar is not doing that well right now and how my physical health isn’t the best either since I went to urgent care. Anyways long story but in the end, it fucking worked out and it was a miracle. They even said they’d call the Professor and ask him to let me retake the test. So moral of the story, I was shocked by the kindness I was shown today and I’m really moved actually that it played out this way because I was clearly in distress and they actually are giving me a second chance.

It’s Baby Time, Part 2

***

“Deeks!” he heard Kensi shout from across the house. He paused with an Allen wrench in one hand

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I’m pretty sure my water just broke,” she called back. He didn’t say anything for a moment as his brain froze.

“Um, sorry but it sounded like you just said your water broke,” he said, jogging through the house, until he found Kensi. She sat in the middle of the master bath with her legs slightly bent, a slightly shocked expression on her face. “Baby?”

She held up her wet fingertips in answer, nodding to the small puddle of liquid on the tile.

“Ok, that a few weeks earlier than what we expected. But Sheila said that wasn’t unusual with twins, right?”

“Yeah. I just thought there’d be more warning signs.”

“I guess the whole semen thing isn’t such a myth after all,” he said, and Kensi look up at him incredulously.

“Are you really joking about sex right now?” she asked. He shrugged.

“You know how I am. It’s either that or panic a little bit.”

“Mm, I have complete faith in you,” Kensi assured him.

“Ok, I’m going to call Sheila.” He belatedly realized he was still holding the wrench and tucked it into his pocket as he grabbed his phone. “But first I’ll grab you some shorts and a towel,” he decided, seeing how Kensi was awkwardly crouched on the floor.

When he returned a couple minutes later, Kensi had moved back again the sink cupboard; she inhaled slowly through her nose, eyes shut.

“Baby, are you ok?”

She opened her eyes slowly, taking a few extra seconds to focus on him. “Yeah, it’s just a lot more intense than I expected. Most of the mommy blogs, and books, and Instagram posts all talk about a dull ache and pressure, but this feels like super strong cramps.”

“Well, let me help you put these on, you can get back in bed,” Deeks suggested. “and then I’ll call Sheila.”

Kensi reached up, grabbing ahold of his forearm when he offered it, and laboriously pulled herself up. She used his shoulder as a brace while she clumsily pulled the shorts on. “Laying down sounds horrible right now. I think I’m just going to walk around for a while.” She winced suddenly, hand clamping down on his arm while she squeezed her eyes shut for about five seconds.

“Was that a contraction?” he asked, automatically resting a supporting hand on Kensi’s lower back. He found it a little disconcerting that she was already in this much pain.

“I think so. It wasn’t too bad,” she insisted, and he wasn’t sure which of them she was trying to convince.

While he made the call, he started pulling out various supplies from the garage. With his cell tucked between his ear and shoulder, he dragged out the pool, as Sheila asked him about Kensi’s condition, and gave precise instructions. He’d always found her to have a calming, reassuring presence, and today was no different. By the time they ended the call, he felt more at ease.

He found Kensi walking the length of their bedroom, her hair pulled up in a loose bun now. He could swear her bump looked lower than just a few minutes ago.

“What did Sheila say?”

“She was with another client, but she’s coming her as soon as she finishes. She estimates about an hour,” Deeks related. “I told her that you were already having some contractions, which she said is fine. We only need to worry if they dramatically increase in duration and frequency. At which point, we should head to the hospital and she’ll meet us there.”

“How long for the contractions?” Kensi asked shortly, panting slightly as she paced quickly, one hand braced underneath her belly.

“Around a minute long every 3-4 minutes.” He watched for a few more seconds, knowing the answer before he even asked, “You’re there already aren’t you?”

“Yep. I don’t think we’re gonna make it to the hospital.”

“Ok, we’re doing this, this is happening,” Deeks babbled breathlessly. He’d delivered a few babies over the years, but never twins. Although he’d prepared just in case, he’d never seriously considered having to deliver his own children.

He closed his eyes, pausing to inhale as deeply as he could, then blew it out slowly, centering himself. When he opened his eyes again, he felt calmer, focused on the task at hand. “Alright, let’s get you in the bathroom.”

Kensi nodded, walking slowly with Deeks besides her. She paused in the doorway, lips clamping tight as she rode out another contraction. “Oh, that was a good one,” she muttered from between her teeth.

Once they were in the bathroom, Deeks helped her settle on the closed toilet, immediately turning to rush back out. Kensi grabbed his arm before he could leave.

“Where are you going?”

I gotta grab the birth kit. Unfortunately, I don’t think we have time to fill the pool up.”

“Yeah, probably not,” Kensi agreed with a faint smile. “Maybe grab a bottle of vodka while you’re down there.” He kissed her temple, lingering for a second, then he was off again.

He gathered everything with a single-minded focus, the immediacy of the situation not leaving time for him to worry. It only took a few minutes, but when he made it back to Kensi, she’d moved to the edge of the toilet, her left hand gripping the side of the counter so tightly, her fingers were bright white.

“You better make this quick, because it feels like these babies are ready to come right now,” she warned him.

Deeks threw one of the tarps across the floor, laying out gauze and other supplies before he turned back to Kensi.

“You ready?”

“Not even a little bit,” she said with a soft laugh, that morphed into a moan of pain halfway through.

“It’s ok, you’re going to be amazing,” Deeks told her, reaching out with both hands. Kensi took them, squeezing tightly as she stood, grabbing the counter again while Deeks helped her out of the shorts.

He was still kneeling, when Kensi let out a strangled noise, her free hand instantly finding his shoulder. “I need to push,” she gasped out in between short, panting breaths.

“Ok, it’s alright, just breathe with me, baby. I’ve got you,” Deeks said, modeling a steady pattern, Kensi following along after a few cycles. He gently reached between her legs, shocked when he felt the soft crown of a baby’s head beneath his fingers.

“Oh my god,” he muttered without thinking.

“I told you they were ready.”

“Yeah, yeah, you did.” He didn’t have time to say anything else as Kensi exhaled, long and shaking, and the baby’s entire head popped out. “Ok, good, that’s really good, baby. Keep on pushing as steady as you can,” he encouraged, gently freeing one shoulder. Kensi gave another hard push, and he held a baby in his hands.

He swiped the fluid away from its mouth and nose, marveling at the tiny human in his arms. His strength wavered ever so slightly as he rested his hand over the baby’s chest, fingers trembling. Then he made a sound of relief when he felt the tiny beat of a heart thumping back against his palm. A moment later, her little mouth opened and she cried, head turning, seeking out the warmth of his skin.

“Deeks?” Kensi said, and he realized he’d been silent for too long.

“It’s a girl.” He grabbed one of the blankets, quickly swaddling the baby, and held her up. Kensi made a soft sobbing sound, reaching out to brush her fingers over the baby’s head.

“She’s perfect,” she whispered, then winced again. “I think it’s time for round two.”

Deeks set the first baby to the side, securing her in a second towel, and set her in the sink of all places, then returned to Kensi’s side.

The second baby, a boy who was equally as tiny, came even faster, taking just a few short pushes, which was good since Kensi’s legs were trembling with the effort of standing. As soon as he’d ensured the baby boy’s mouth and nose were clear and he was breathing, Deeks helped her to the floor.

She brushed a handful of damp hair out of her eyes, reaching for the baby boy. Deeks cradled the other baby, gently wiping away the fluid and vernix. He gave a soft whimpering cry, burrowing his little face into Deeks’ hand.

“Oh, he’s beautiful.” He’d never heard such awe in Kensi’s voice before.

Deeks carefully placed the other baby in her arm, tears forming in his eyes, as he looked down at them all.

“They both are,” he said, slightly dazed now that it was over. Kensi nodded slightly in agreement, kissing each baby’s head.

“I can’t believe I just did that,” she whispered, sounding just as stunned as Deeks felt. “We just delivered our twins all by ourselves.”

“It’s insane,” Deeks agreed with a slightly hysterical laugh.

“Thank you for being her with me.”

“Like I’d be anywhere else. Besides, you did all the work.” And he was in complete awe of her.

“I’d never have been able to do it without you,” Kensi insisted. She leaned forward, waiting for Deeks to meet her halfway, catching the corner of his mouth with her lips. When she pulled back, she look back down at the babies. “Look at what we made.”

“Pretty freaking amazing,” Deeks said, cupping the back of a tiny head.

***

A/N: I don’t think Kensi and Deeks actually have a spare bedroom, but we’re not going to make them go through the ordeal of moving to a larger place just now.

And yes, I realize certain aspects of this scenario are slightly unrealistic. But, I know that it is quite possible to have a baby that quickly. A relative of mine had to unexpectedly help his wife deliver their baby at home in a similar situation.

Also, it’s quite tricky figuring out what to do with a baby still attached to an umbilical cord, when there’s another baby on the way and there’s no one to hold said first baby.

Small part three to follow.

Let’s talk platforms. And by that I mean each social media and what I think of them. (Nobody asked)

Even though I’ve known and had Tumblr for a while now I think I truly slept on it cuz you can literally share anything and everything on here and so easily too. YOU CAN EVEN AUTOMATICALLY TURN VIDEOS INTO GIFS !!! that’s so cool. Tumblr ftw! I might even leave spacehey and come here to blog instead idk

Posting pictures on Instagram nowadays is useless and tiring bc the quality goes down the fucking hill and making a carousel of pics and videos is even worse of a fucking nightmare like I’m truly and genuinely tired of this platform. EW. Also I’ve been on this app for 10 years at this point it’s just getting tiring to look at.

Twitter is going down like them stayc girls too. As much as I’ve always loved twitter, I’ve had it since I was 12 and it’s just sadly going to die. It got worse the last 4 years. Back then it was the shit. I remember introducing all my friends to it at school.

YouTube is still the shit imo and it’s never gonna die because it’s on its own lane! The only negative thing I could say about it is I wish they’d get rid of these idiotic reels. nobody wants to see that shit. If u want braindead 10 seconds content just go on Toktok bitch!!!

Toktok…. I’m not talking about that bitch….. Worms….. in your brain…. if u still got that stupid ass app. Hate it to my core.

Snapchat. I left this app in 2017 and I didn’t know PEOPLE STILL USED THAT SHIT???? like in 2023 a lot of people still use it!! I had no idea until I met my friends last year and they told me they still use it on a daily basis. And tbh I get it. It’s easy. Convenient. Especially because snapchat is a great app when it comes to securing your information and operates on its own, and is not selling your infos to third party apps (is what I’ve heard…) Zuckerberg take notes!!!!

Facebook: ...

Do we consider Pinterest a social? idk. I like it nonetheless. BUT I preferred WHI when it came to the variety of pictures you could choose from. Pinterest only gives u the most popular ones n shit idk but it’s not the worse tho and I like how it works with the boards n stuff so I use it often.

Don’t get me started on WhatsApp.... dear GOD this app is AWFUL and takes SO MUCH SPACE FOR NO FUCKING REASON like it stores everything on your phone every video every fucking tiny bit of content takes space girl BYE Messenger is so much better >>>>>

I think that’s p much all I had to say.. thanks for reading and bfore I go........

Special mention to Vine💚 I miss it so much. Was such a great app especially for editors!! So sad they sold it to stupid twitter now it’s gone they couldn’t even afford to archive the damn data of the website so like soooo many profiles are gone too including mine. :(

OK Bye!!!!!💋💋💋

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!

Youguys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey

sticks,dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All

right,here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no!

You'redating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be

lunch formy iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former

queenshere in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see

how,by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but

thereare other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your

smokinggun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out

likethis. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But

isn'the your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see

anickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

- bee movie anon

Yelloo! Firstly, I love everything you write and I hope you’re fairing well and looking after yourself <3

Could I (separately) ask for Jean, Yae, Rosaría and Eula finding their s/o with a nasty, stupid bird brain handsy guy🤢 they step in and protecc✨ s/o since s/o were too afraid or shocked to do anything.

People gotta know it’s not okay to do that (speak out if you do see something like this and stand up for yourself)- especially with these girls👆 Thank youuu🙏🌸

Synopsis: gross, disgusting, absolutely revolting person keeps overstepping boundaries, so your girlfriend steps in

Warnings: gross person basically harasses the reader, minor swearing, and not proofread

Game/ fandom: genshin impact

Characters: jean, yae miko, rosaria, and eula

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: I literally had to remind myself not to make literally everyone in this headcanon threaten the absolute bird brain who was harassing y/n, also I kinda made different situations with different types of people for each character, almost to… match the character? Hope that’s ok! (I also cut eula out because this took so long as is :’))

— jean —

Celebrating the return of varka and the rest of the knights that he took with him at angels share. The bustling atmosphere made you feel overwhelmed, but you enjoyed it nonetheless.

Jean unfortunately was running a bit late, having to finish up some things last minute so varka could come back as the grandmaster as comfortably as possible. She encouraged you to go though, saying to to worry about her. You stood conversing with a few friends who went with varka, so you haven’t seen them in a while!

One of your friends motioned over someone from the other side of the bar, “hey y/n I want you to meet a friend of mine.” They said as their friend walked over “this is colt, we had to share a tent together one night cause I broke mine!” They seemed embarrassed but it seemed to be a good memory.

The night continued and you and colt began talking with each other. Though… his tone seemed strange to you. He was almost flirting with you, and standing… uncomfortably close. You tried to excuse yourself but he’d just respond with “oh here I’ll come with you”

He even started touching you, in subtle ways, like grabbing your shoulder, even trying to lock hands as you walked someone together, because you couldn’t get away from him!

You were uncomfortable, and wanted ti get away but… couldn’t! He just wouldn’t let you?! When he went to the bathroom you started walking towards your friends, desperately looking around for them until you felt a hand grab your wrist.

“Hey…? Why’d you leave me?” Colt said behind you, “I just wanted ti go back with my friends is all…” you responded in a calm voice. Your voice was calm, yet you were clearly shaking due to anxiety. You didn’t know what to do, because you very much did not want to be around him alone for much longer.

Thankfully, a familiar face walked into angels share. “Y/n! Where are…” jean said but she trailed off upon seeing you and colt. “Is there a problem here?” Her voice stern, and her face questioning. “Nope! Everything’s fine! C’mon jean let’s get a drink!” You said pulling her away from colt, as a way to lace the situation.

The night flew by in the blink of an eye, and as you walked home, jean seemed to ponder something. “Hey? Something on your mind?” You said, your intertwined hands, swinging back and forth with every step you both took.

“Who was that guy? In the tavern, and… were you ok?” Jean questioned. “Well… he just made me uncomfortable. I didn’t know how to say that though so I just… defused the situation by walking away.”

Jean didn’t like that answer, as she looked almost… mad at you. “If another situation like that happens do not hesitate to tell me. Hell… tell anyone if you need help, or just want to leave.” Her eyes have a seriousness to them, that makes you nod in response. Almost automatically. She clearly cared for you, and your well being, and just wanted to make sure nothing bad happened. You appreciate that she cares.

— yae miko —

Wondering around inazuma with a friend of yours, you haven’t hung out for a while and you both had the day off so… why not! Things were going smoothly, you were stopping at a few shops, got some food together, and were on your way to yae publishing house too look a few books.

Your friend… didn’t seem to like that though. You could sense that she didn’t want to go there very much, but she made no effort to say so. What she did make an effort to do was… flirt with you? The entire way there…? It was strange… you had been friend forever, and you never showed her that you had feelings for her, hell you were currently in a relationship!

And yet… she just kept flirting with you. I mean… maybe she was being friendly? Or… just trying to be funny? Yeah! Maybe that was it? You weren’t sure, but you wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt because… she was your friend after all.

Well… you gave her the benefit of the doubt until she wrapped her head around your waist. She was… coming off a bit strong. I mean she’s never acted like this? So why so suddenly…

“Hey um… can you let me go?” You spoke up, you were by the stairs near yae publishing house and you just… couldn’t take it anymore. It made you wildly uncomfortable, and you finally had to say something.

“Why? I thought…” she said looking at you with a sadness in her eyes, but that sadness quickly turned into anger, as she started yelling at you. Saying, “how could you lead me on like that!” “I thought we had something?!” “Why invite me on a date just to reject me?!”

You stood there shocked, you didn’t know what to do, or say to make this better. What was she talking about even? Leading her on? Having something? A date?! What the hell?!

“Excuse me.” A voice spoke up, calm, clear, and yet clearly annoyed “if you could keep your tone down, and stop bothering my s/o.” Looking over at the person, you saw it was yae. Your… girlfriend. Jeez this became tense real quick-

“Who the fuck do you think you are?!” Your friend screamed, “I’m their girlfriend.” Yae miko deadpanned. Yae walked over and wrapped her arms around your shoulders saying, “now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re leaving because you failed to take a hint.” And you walked away, leaving your friend to have a tantrum in the middle of the streets.

The moment you were out of earshot of your friend yae spoke up, “I’m glad you told her to let you go, but don’t hesitate to slap her if she tries something like that again.” She chuckled. It was mostly light hearted, though sue did have to retrain herself from knocking some sense into your friend.

— rosaria —

Another late night at angels share, you had a shift there that night with Diluc, since it was supposed to be a busy night. Supposedly some kind of expedition for the adventures guild was completed, so of course they’d wanna celebrate!

You excused yourself to go to the bathroom, but on your way back you were stopped by an adventurer. “Hey mind sitting down with us?” They asked with a smile. You shook your hands as you said “ahh I really shouldn’t I have to get back to work!”

They scoffed, almost offended and said, “c’mon! A little drink can’t hurt.” You stood there just wanting to get back to work so Diluc didn’t have to make all the drinks by himself, but they just… wouldn’t let you leave?

You suddenly said, “alright. I’m going back to work. Have a nice night” but one of them grabbed your wrist and pulled you down to their level “we said, to have a drink with us.”

You were shocked and uncomfortable, and oddly enough you’ve never wanted to get back to work more than now. Suddenly, the one who had a vice grip on your wrist was hit on the head with a chair. Of all things, it was a chair.

“Let them go.” A person said, as if they didn’t already let you go because they were literally hit in the head with a chair. “Hey what the hell was that for!”

You looked at the person who just helped you, and it was none other than your girlfriend. She was holding up another chair ready to hit the person if they tried anything.

“Never. Do that again.” Rosaria says, her voice ice cold, it even send a shiver down your spine, and it’s not even directed at you! The adventures seemed to understand perfectly clear, and directed their attention back to their drinks. Not saying a single word.

Dragging you out of the bar, rosaria stepped into the brisk cold of a mondstadt night. Quickly turns around she catches you off guard and says, “If anything like that happens again I will freeze them to the ground.” You chuckled at how protective she was, but simply nodded your head, and walked back into angels share to get back to work.

could I pls request the hashiras w/ a sensitive s/o ( they get upset easily etc . ) and how they’d react to someone accidentally saying something that made them cry ??

gender neutral reader if possible

if you don’t wanna write for all the hashira , feel free to pick your favourites or something , I don’t really mind tbh

thank you in advance ! ! ! have a wonderful day / noon / night 💞

a/n: thank you for requesting again!! this was lowkey hella hard to do dude so i'm really sorry for how long this took. i managed to get all the hashira in and kept it pg obviously for muichiro since he is underage but i left him as is. i was legit brain dead writing this but here you go!

𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕜𝕠 𝕜𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕛𝕦𝕣𝕠𝕦 ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

He doesn't take well to it, but he also understands that the fellow Demon Slayer was only trying to give you constructive criticism. Kyoujurou would scramble at first not knowing how to react since it was the first time he'd ever seen you so distraught. But then he'd finally recollect himself and dismiss the slayer and get back to you.

But just as he finally got himself together you'd throw yourself in his arms and blubber like a baby. Which again would have him flustered at first, but he'd soon chuckle and hold your face in his hands. A chaste kiss on your forehead that would cease your weeping.

"You know, my little flame, you're quite cute when you cry."

You looked up from his tear soaked uniform to his blazing eyes, gazing down at you lovingly. It sent your heart racing and you could no longer look at him. So you did what any other person would do if they were madly in love Kyo and couldn't look him in the eyes. You buried your face back into his chest while the heat rushed to your cheeks. The sound of laughter escaping his lips once more as you smiled against his damp uniform.

𝕘𝕚𝕪𝕦𝕦 𝕥𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕠𝕜𝕒 ₍ᐢ ̥ ͉ ̥ᐢ₎

He doesn't exactly think it through, just does. So in one swoop motion he'd carry you out of there and gave the fellow slayer any icy glare that had them shivering to their core. You'd be shocked at how quickly he'd get you out of that situation and he'd stop at an isolated area for you guys to be alone.

"U-um, Giyuu?" You'd stutter, as you rubbed your eyelids and looked at him with eyes are big as saucers.

"Are you alright?" His stunning cerculean blue gaze was piercing through your heart.

"Y-yeah. You can put me down now." His face automatically vermillion with agitation at the realization of you being in his arms. He firmly planted you on the ground and turned away to avoid looking at you. You laughed at how cute he looked when becomes embarrassed and slipped your arms around him from behind as you buried your face in his back.

"Thank you, my love."

𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕟 𝕦𝕫𝕦𝕚 ₍ᐢ ̥ ̮ ̥ᐢ₎ *:･。

"Eh?! Why are you crying [name]?"

It wasn't the first time he'd see you crying, but he was very perplexed by the sight in front of him. He didn't think much of it when the lower rank demon slayer was simply advising you to be more careful on the next mission. His ruby glare burred holes into the back of their heads.

"Why the hell did you make them cry for? It's not very flamboyant of you." He was menancing to say the least. It caused the demon slayer to stammer on his words until you spoke up rubbing at your eyes.

"It's not their fault, Tengen. I just get emotional. You know this." You sniffled as you tried your best to regain your composure. A soft 'tch' left his lips before he carried you on his shoulder which gave rise to a squeal from you.

"Put me down!"

He smacked your bottom and chuckled devilishly.

"Nah, I think we're gonna change that whiney mood of yours right up!"

𝕠𝕓𝕒𝕟𝕒𝕚 𝕚𝕘𝕦𝕣𝕠 U ´꓃ ` U

He doesn't waste anytime elbowing the person into the ground. Not only for just talking to you, but making you cry?! Oh, buddy. You're in for the beating of a lifetime.

"Obanai!" You exclaimed. Your tear stained face contorted into worry as you watched the now pummeled slayer knock out cold.

"That'll teach him. I'll make sure he never sees the light of day the next time he even looks in your direction." He sneered at them and then looked at you with gentle eyes. "Are you alright?"

You nodded as he dabbed away at your face and caressed you cheek.

"Alright, let's go then."

He stated before getting up and taking your hand in his as he dragged you away from the scene.

"Wait! Shouldn't we help him?" You were glad that Obanai cared that much about you, but he really shouldn't just go around attacking people like that and leaving them unconscious.

"No, Shinobu will take care of that eyesore."

𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕠𝕓𝕦 𝕜𝕠𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕦 Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

"You must have a death wish."

The tone in her voice was so venomous yet sickly sweet it almost could've been enough to kill you. The nerve in her temple popping out as the demon slayer who was unfortunate enough to accidentally make you cry shuddered in fear.

"Shinobuuu." You whined. "Please leave them alone. They didn't mean any harm!"

Her eyes went soft when she saw you in your distressed state and then back to her vicious glare when it was back on them. "Run along now."

Her voice still even, yet scary. The demon slayer bowed quickly before escaping leaving you two alone. Shinobu sighed as she caressed your cheek.

"You're so delicate, sometimes." Your shoulders slumped at her words. It wasn't for long because Shinobu decided to plant a kiss on your nose and giggled. "Ara, ara, [name]-chan. You're still my sweet butterfly."

Shinobu didn't show much PDA, but when she did it made your heart implode and she was absolutely, 1000% aware of this.

𝕞𝕚𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕚 𝕜𝕒𝕟𝕣𝕠𝕛𝕚 ʕ♡˙ᴥ˙♡ʔ

Her face would get all puffed up and red as she watched you cry from a few feet away, that is until you started to hug the person that was causing the "commotion".

"I hope you find peace." You said softly as you pulled away. The person thanked you and bowed with tears in their eyes before stepping away.

"[Name], are you okay?!" Mitsuri exclaimed as she hugged you with all her might. You had to tap out for her to let go. She noticed this and you gasped for air as she apologized endlessly.

"I'm okay, Mitsuri. Their family was attacked by demons and I managed to save one member and they just came to thank me in person." You vigorously swabbed at your eyes with your sleeves before smiling again at your lovely wife. Mitsuri didn't realize her strength and sometimes that would lead to her infamous death hugs.

"Oh, [name]! You are so heroic!" She squeaked with joy as she squeezed you again, this time with less agnozing pressure. You hugged her back as you laid your head on her shoulder and thanked God your partner was as lovely as she was.

𝕘𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕚 𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕖𝕛𝕚𝕞𝕒 ₍ᐢ｡ ˬ ｡ᐢ₎

His towering height alone was enough to have the culprit who made you cry shaking in their boots. Gyomei would simply ignore that he sent that person pissing themselves and would lift you in his arms as he dabbed away at your tears with his hankerchief.

"Dont cry, my flower. They're not worth your precious tears." He'd murmur against the apple of your cheek as he kissed it. This would instantly boost your mood and have you throwing your arms around him and squeezing him tight. You'd plant the biggest kiss on his cheek causing him to blush.

"Thank you, Gyo."

𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕚 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕫𝕦𝕘𝕒𝕨𝕒 ʕ； •`ᴥ•´ʔ

Anger. Kind of a no brainer. He'd go off on the person who made you cry and in return would make them cry and run far, far away. He'd comfort you by giving you a nice, bear hug and kiss on the top of your forehead whilst asking if you were ok. You'd end up laughing with tears still in your eyes and obviously this would puzzle him.

"What are you laughing about?"

"You just scared the bejeezus out of that guy and sent him crying!"

He'd chuckle and bring you back in for another warm hug and your face would nuzzle the crook of his neck.

"I'll send anyone crying for you."

𝕞𝕦𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕠 𝕥𝕠𝕜𝕚𝕥𝕠 ₍ᐢ ̥ ̞ ̥ᐢ₎ ♥

Much like when he showed his distain towards Tanjiro when he interrupted Oyakata-sama. He would be watching from a distance, and fiercely flick pebbles at a scary fast velocity that was deadly enough to pierce a hole through the person who dared to talk down to you. But, of course, he held back since it was only a mere human but it was enough to send them to groveling on their knees.

You'd wipe your tears away and turn in the direction it came from to see Muichiro smiling at you while tossing a pebble up and down in hand. He was always watching over you.

Something New | Hani

Celebrity AU | Meet messy | “do you ever feel like you’re far away no matter where you are?” 

Wordcount: 1,516

Heeyeon sighed in exhaustion as she walked down the hallway to her waiting room after nearly being trampled to death by the paparazzi. They were being especially wild tonight after some tabloid had thought it would be a great idea to expose her “relationship”. She had always known what it meant to be a celebrity, but lately the measures that she needed to take to protect her privacy were starting to get ridiculous. Especially considering that it seemed like the tabloid press was just making up random scandals at this point. The rumors about her “relationship” were solely based on the fact that the two of you had been seen wearing the same clothes and that some paparazzi had managed to snap pictures of you leaving the same coffee shop on the same day (of course no one cared that there had been several hours between your visits).

Heeyeon had laughed at first when one of her managers had shown her the article. Who would believe such nonsense? The two of you had never even met in her whole entire life before. But her laughter had soon died down when the manager had shown her that she was also trending on Twitter and just about every other social media. Suddenly there were thousands of people talking about how the signs had been there a long time ago and someone had even dug out a picture that showed the two of you at an award show together, seemingly smiling at each other. Heeyeon had been absolutely speechless, and she still was. She had no idea how she was supposed to be the MC tonight while knowing that everyone was dissecting her every word and move. She wasn’t one to run from her problems but tonight she wished that she could just fake sick and stay home.

Lost in thought, Heeyeon shuffled along the hallway, contemplating what the hosts of the event would do if she would bail last minute when a sudden collision brought her back to reality again.

“I’m so sorry!”

She exclaimed automatically when she felt the presence of another person right next to her. Not wanting to engage in a conversation right now, however, she quickly wanted to flee the scene when the reply of the other person caused her to freeze.

“Hey if that isn’t my girlfriend!”

They said, causing Heeyeon to whip her head around in lightning speed, thinking that she must have become paranoid at this point. But when her eyes landed on the person that had blocked her way, she needed to stop a gasp from escaping her throat. You. If she hadn’t felt detached from reality before, she was certainly doing so right now. What were the odds that she was running into you out of all people tonight? With her mouth slightly ajar, she stared at you, realizing that no matter what she did tonight, the rumors would only be worse tomorrow. If she was unlucky -which she definitely was- she might even have to give you an award which would surely make the mob go livid.

Was this the universe telling her that she should flee now? This would probably be her last chance to. As soon as she would show her face in the venue, people would definitely gossip even more. Heeyeon’s brain worked at full stretch. She needed to contemplate which behavior would cause the least amount of damage. If there even was such an option.

“Are you...ok?”

Your voice snapped Heeyeon out of her trance, while also managing to make her cheeks glow bright red. How long had she been staring at you?

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

She smiled, but your intense gaze seemed to melt right through her mask.

“Are you sure? I’m sorry if my joke was inappropriate. I didn’t mean no harm. I just think it’s ridiculous that we’re entangled in this mess although we haven’t even talked with each other prior to today.”

You chuckled, making Heeyeon feel understood for the first time today.

“Right?! It’s so frustrating. All your life you work on living decently and then you still end up being in a scandal through no fault of your own.”

She huffed in frustration, glad to finally be able to talk to a person that could comprehend her anger.

“I know. But I’m not even surprised anymore at this point. Aren’t we the puppets of the public anyways? It’s not really in our hands which picture they paint of us in the media.”

You shrugged with a tired sight, making Heeyeon wonder whether you could read her mind.

“Exactly! It’s so scary. Is there even someone on this planet who knows me? Like, do you ever feel like you’re far away no matter where you are? Because no one really knows the real you?”

The second Heeyeon had closed her mouth, she regretted having opened it in the first place. Hadn’t this been a little too much information? You were a complete stranger after all. But when she looked into your face, she could see that you were genuinely thinking about her question, and she felt relief washing over her. At least you didn’t seem like you took her for a complete weirdo.

“Hm...yeah, I think I get what you mean. It’s easy to feel isolated in this industry. Everyone thinks they know the real version of you although it’s just an illusion created by the media, so it’s hard to form real connections.”

Heeyeon nodded eagerly while hanging on your every word, realizing that this short talk with you had probably been more sincere than the ones with half of her so-called “friends” in the past years combined.

“But there are also some good people out there that would be happy to meet the real you.”

You eventually added and when your gazes met, a cold shiver ran down Heeyeon’s spine. Something about the way you looked at her just made her feel like the tabloid press had been right after all and the two of you had known each other for an eternity already. Your gaze completely entrapped her and for a moment she forgot all about the chaos out there. If you would ask her, she would probably run away with you right now. But unfortunately the real world seemed to have other plans and nibbed any crazy idea that she might have had in a bud before she could say it out loud.

“Hani!”

The voice of her manager echoed in the hallway, reminding Heeyeon of the award show that was depending on her presence as the MC. Bashfully, she shook her head to rid herself of her trance and cleared her throat.

“It was nice meeting you, but I need to go now.”

She bowed her head, still feeling a little dizzy when looking at you.

“Of course. Good luck tonight! And don’t worry too much, the rumors will die down in no time.”

You smiled encouragingly, causing a warm feeling to spread in her stomach.

Without wasting any more of her time, you turned on your heel to go your way, inciting instant regret to wash over Heeyeon. Wasn’t it foolish to let someone like you go after what you had just said? It truly wasn’t easy for her to form connections with other people, yet, she had instantly felt connected to you. Torn between her panic to cause any more drama and her desire to get to know you more, she watched you walk further and further away from her until she couldn’t suppress the voice in her head anymore that screamed at her to not forgo this one in a lifetime chance.

“Y/N, wait!”

She yelled a little louder than necessary, making you stop dead in your tracks before looking at her with wide eyes. Ignoring her embarrassment, Heeyeon quickly bridged the distance between the two of you while rummaging through her small clutch, searching for some sort of pen, and eventually finding her eyeliner. When she finally stood before you, you looked at her with your head tilted to the side in confusion as you noticed the eyeliner in her hand. But Heeyeon didn’t give you any time to protest before grabbing your hand to write her number on your arm.

“I know this might be terrible timing, but if you ever feel like talking some more, I would be happy to grab a cup of coffee or something with you.”

She explained hastily, not daring to look into your eyes.

“I’d love that. I’d be happy to get to know the real you more.”

You replied, a smile clearly being audible in your voice. When Heeyeon finally dared to look up, you were grinning brightly, making her feel dizzy all over again.

“Well then it’s settled.”

She giggled sheepishly, wondering since when she was such a shy, giggling mess.

“I’m looking forward to it...jagi.”

You winked at her cheekily before making your way into the venue at last. Heeyeon watched you disappear with a fluttering heart, knowing that this would be the start of something new.