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if-you-like-pina-colada-s · 24 hours

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Clark: Hey, so... would you guys be upset if someone brought, let's say, puppies into the watchtower??

The entire JL: *staring at the box in Clark's hands*

Hal: Clark, buddy, what's in the box?

*the box barks softly*

Clark: I think you know...

#dc #dc comics #justice league #jl #superman #clark kent #green lantern #hal jordan #jl incorrect quotes #how did he get the definitely not a box full of puppies into the watchtower #who knows #but they're there now #like the justice league is gonna kick a bunch of puppies out #oh no those are their puppies now #finders keepers losers weepers

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daemonmage · 1 month

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Bruce about to reveal his identity to the JL

Bruce: “I’m going to do something that may traumatize two of you. I am not sorry.”

Oliver: “oh come on Batman your identity isn’t that special.”

Bruce going full whiny play boy: “Dinah! Ollie is being mean to me!!!”

Oliver: blue screens

Dinah: “YOU BITCH!?”

#batman #bruce wayne #oliver queen #green arrow #dinah lance #black canary #dc comics #dc characters #dc #dcu #dc universe #justice league #JL #jl incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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mcuxhp777 · 3 months

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just imagine how stressed the jl would be after finding out that bruce has a biological son. he's batman, so of course, he's not going to get laid, right? then he introduces the new robin that acts and looks a lot like him and the jl malfunctions

Diana: So, he's not adopted?

Bruce: No, he's my son

Clark: How did you? How can you? How did this happen?

Hal: What Clark's trying to ask is, how did you get laid?

Clark: Especially with you brooding all the time

Bruce: It just happened

Diana: *Picks up Damian* He's quite cute

Damian, about to stab Diana: I am not cute

Diana, who is used to kids with a sword due to being raised on Themyscira: Oh and he's a warrior by heart

#justice league #bruce wayne #batman #diana prince #wonder woman #clark kent #superman #hal jordon #green lantern #damian wayne #robin #incorrect quotes #jl incorrect quotes

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dc-and-damirae · 1 year

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superman: *shatters a window and flies through it*

superman: *turns around and helps Robin through it* Breaking and entering is wrong Robin.

Robin: Okay.

#pov superman trying to be good stepdad #jl incorrect quotes #incorrect justice league quotes #justice league #dc funny #dc #dc comcis #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #dc comics #superbat

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cleanerhome · 2 months

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Cleaning Work From Home Part Time & Full Time Jobs

Looking for a gig with purpose? Help us breathe life into these empty spaces by lending your cleaning prowess! ✅Here are more details

#justice league #bruce wayne #batman #diana prince #wonder woman #clark kent #superman #hal jordon #green lantern #damian wayne #robin #incorrect quotes #jl incorrect quotes

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frownyalfred · 3 months

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Bruce, sitting through the mandatory psych eval he created for the Justice League that Clark is also making him take:

Hal Jordan, underlining something on his clipboard: “Name a weakness.”

Bruce: “All of my questions sound like insults.”

Hal:

Bruce:

Hal: “…can you give an example?”

Bruce: “Can you not think of one yourself?”

#incorrect quotes #Hal jordan #bruce wayne #batman #dc #dc comics #justice league #jl #green lantern

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violent138 · 5 months

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Bruce, exasperated: "I don't understand, why are you mad?"

Clark, arms crossed: "You're the detective. Detect."

Bruce: ...

#superbat #incorrect quotes #my deep boredom #unleashed #bruce wayne #clark kent #superman #batman

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cactusracoon · 1 year

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Tim looking at old news articles:

Tim finding one about his dad: what the- 🙄

Tim reading the article:😳😟

Dick: hey whats with the face babybird?

Tim: Did you know Bruce had a relationship with my dad?!?!

Dick: 😅 I'm gonna just go- *runs out of the cave*

Tim running after him: HEY ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION RICHARD!

______________________________

Bruce at a JL meeting: 😐

Tim: 🧐

Bruce: ok Robin why are you staring at me like that?

Tim: when we're you going to tell me that you FUCKED MY DAD?

Bruce: uh never-

The rest of the JL: 😳😳😳 the fuck-

_________________________________

Tim talking to Jack Drake: so when we're you going to tell me you like men?

Jack Drake: Wtf Timothy I don't like men

Tim pulling up an article: this is literally a picture of you making out Twitter BRUCE WAYNE!

Jack Drake: 😳 that was edited *speed walks away*

Tim banging his head on the table: *screaming*

________________________________

#red robin #tim drake #damian wayne #dick grayson #nightwing #red hood #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #bruce wayne fucked jack drake #jack drake #justice league #JL #incorrect quotes #batfam

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renthebarbarian · 1 year

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Batman: I’m proud to identify as moronsexual. Superman suggested moving the Earth out of the way of danger and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight.

Superman: Bruce, I’m trusting you with this piece of rock that could kill me after you said you would 100% kill me if you had to.

Batman: *ripping off his cowl to smooch that Kryptonian* dammit Clark you big fucking idiot-

#i need to watch jl: doom (actually there’s a lot of dc content i need to catch up on)#superbat #batman #superman #bruce wayne #clark kent #dc #incorrect dc quotes

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if-you-like-pina-colada-s · 1 month

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Bruce, walking into the manor: Hello people who do not live here.

Clark: Hi :D

Diana: Hey!

Oliver: 'sup man

Dinah: yo

Hal: Hiii

Barry: Heyo

Arthur: wassup

Billy: Hey

Bruce: Why are you here??

Barry, mouth full of doritos: We ran out of doritos

----

Bonus:

Bruce: Alfred, why the hell did you let them in??

Alfred, casually having tea w J'onn, whose just happy his son has friends: They ran out of doritos master Bruce, what was I to do? Let them starve??

Bruce: >:(

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daemonmage · 1 month

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This is how I think the Trinity works:

Bruce: *info dumping about dinosaurs*

Clark: *listen cause he’s fascinated by this*

Diana: *not as interested but she supports her friends gods damn it*

Or

Diana and Clark: *using Bruce like a podcast while they do work*

… well that’s an official headcanon now

#batman #bruce wayne #clark kent #superman #diana of themyscira #diana prince #wonder woman #trinity dc #dc trinity #dc comics #trinity incorrect quotes #jl incorrect quotes #dc #dcu #dc headcanon

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rdfhyrsc · 9 months

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John: Nothing in life is free.

Dianna: Love is free!

Clark: Adventure is free.

Bruce: Knowledge is free.

Wally: Everything is free if you take it without paying

Clark: Bye Dianna ! Bye Bruce! Bye Wally! Bye Jon’n! Bye Dianna !

Bruce: You said ‘bye Dianna ’ twice.

Clark: I like Dianna

Clark: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Dianna : It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Clark: Three of us saw it, Dianna . How do you explain that?

Dianna: *points at John* Sleep deprivation. *points at Bruce* Paranoia. *points at Wally* Delusional personality disorder.

Clark: You kidnapped Dianna ? That’s illegal!

Bruce: But Clark, what’s more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Dianna , or destroying our dreams?

Clark: Kidnapping Dianna , Bruce!!!

Wally: Clark, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them!

Clark: What, to kidnap people?!?!

Wally: To work together!

Clark: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

J’onn: Clark, we all agreed a demi god is a not a people

J’onn: What does 'take out' mean?

Dianna: Food.

Clark: Dating

Bruce: Murder

Wally: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Hal: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Dianna: Rude.

Bruce: That’s fair.

Wally: Not again.

John: Are you going to want this back

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dc-and-damirae · 3 months

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duke: What’s a himbo? steph: Beefy, stupid, and kind, like dick duke: What if they’re just beefy and kind? steph: That’s a hunk, like superman duke: Kind, but stupid? steph: That’s just a decent man duke: green lantern? steph: no. try the flash duke: What about green lantern? steph: Beefy, but mean. That’s a jock.

#jl incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #dc comics #dc funny #batfam #justice league #himbo

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arrowmaker15 · 7 months

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(on the Watchtower)

Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Does anyone wanna explain what's going on here?

Red Hood: I died. Then got better.

The Flash: I don't think that's what he meant.

Batman: Then what did he mean?

Superman: I think it's because the one person who has been an international terrorist while also being a Justice League priority target is the same tiny teenager they saw get grounded a few years ago.

Red Hood: Ah, ol' Felipe Garza. I wonder how his trip to hell is going?

Flash: So not the point-