Bruce Tim - Bride of Frankenstein

characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that

arcade night 🕹️🦇

I think it’d be funny if Dick and Jason, due to wearing bright yellow capes on the job for years, are capable of stealth to a frankly unhinged degree. They barely have to try anymore it’s so second nature. Dick can just completely disappear while in the loudest neon clothes imaginable. Jason is constantly startling people who don’t understand how they missed a guy the size of a fridge standing right there. Bruce is extremely grateful for his unbreakable poker face because they have both startled him by accident and would never ever let him live it down if they knew.

the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?

Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??

Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.

Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.

Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

Batman being aggressively secretive towards the Justice League is one of my favorite tropes, but it gets INFINITELY funnier when you take the younger generations of heroes into consideration.

Barry Allen? He doesn't know shit about Batman, still partially convinced he's not human, still a little bit scared to talk to him. But Wally West? That's Nightwing's best friend. He's been around Dick since both of them were kids. He's had sleepovers at the manor since he was thirteen.

I just think it would be hilarious if all of the younger generations 100% know that Batman is Bruce Wayne. They've slept at the manor, some of them have taken various Batkids to school dances, they've been offered Alfred's cooking. And all because they've gotten close to at least one Batkid and said Batkid wore Bruce down until he let them reveal their identity. But all of them manage to keep this information from their mentors. Either purposefully or completely on accident.

Then you end up with a situation where the younger generations grow up and join the League and the older members Very Quickly realize that they seem a lot more comfortable with Batman than they should be.

Another reason why I’m a firm believer in letting Bruce get old is because the idea of him looking and his dark haired children without his glasses on and genuinely not being able to tell them apart is unparalleled

TOOK FOREVER BUT SOOOOOO WORTH IT!

aka mY IDEAL BATFAM UNIVERSE TYVMUCHBYEEE

Part 17 masterpost

ALSO the fact that tim drake canonically watches bruce get stabbed, spies on the titans tower, knows all of the titans schedules, spies on dick’s apartment with kori, breaks into dick’s old apartment, follows him to the circus, has kept newspaper clippings of batman and robin since he was able to read, knows what art bruce wayne collects, had dreams about being saved by batman and robin and y’all REDUCE his stalker tendencies to just he followed them and took pictures….. no. no, we need him crazier.

*in a hospital room*

Tim: Am i in trouble?

Bruce, who just found out Tim doesn't have a spleen: Take a guess

Tim: …no?

Bruce: Take another guess