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wowbright · 2 years

Text

Fic: Vibes

@klaine-word-scramble: vacated

Words: ~2000 words

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: Kurt panics. And then he doesn’t.

This is part of my Mormon!Klaine universe. It takes place directly after Licked Cupcake and before The Luckiest.

My Mormon!Klaine Masterpost. (More recent posts are in bold.)

Thanks @kriskubed!

I picture the presenter as Bryan Ryan, but German (or maybe Austrian) and LDS. Also, I didn’t have a native German speaker check my grammar—feel free to if you are one.

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“Tada! I present to you the Kit Kat. You see a mere candy bar. But this lowly confection can also be used to serve God's Kingdom. How, you ask? Because these two syllables, Kat and Kit, can be used to remind investigators and inactive members about the steps they can take to grow closer to God.”

The presenter was really hamming it up. It was cheesy, but it was also a nice break from the quiet, plodding tone most speakers used in an effort to exemplify reverence.

Plus, he didn't lick or spit on a single Kit Kat.

Bishop Ryan proceeded to explain how Kit Kats could help families with kids—and adults with a good sense of humor—more easily remember the role baptism and confirmation played in the Plan of Salvation. The name of the candy was supposed to remind them of the mnemonic KAT KIT, which stood for:

Kinder Gottes sind wir (We are God’s children)

Alle Menschen hat Jesus Christus vom Tod erlösen (Jesus saved all people from death)

Taufe ist für die Erlösung unerlässlich (Baptism is necessary for salvation)

Konfirmierung brauchen wir auch, damit wir empfängen die Gabe des Heiligen Geistes (Confirmation is also necessary, so we can receive the gift of the Holy Ghost)

Immer sei treu (Always be faithful)

Tun, was wir tun müssen, um Gott zu gehorchen und die Gebote zu halten (We do what we must to obey God and keep the commandments)

“Now go! Practice and enjoy some sugar!”

They broke into groups of four to roleplay the lesson, with one pair of missionaries teaching while the other acted the part of investigators. Kurt and Elder Saint James were grouped with some sister missionaries they didn't know.

“Finally, an opportunity to really act!” Elder Saint James clapped his hands and then, as if he had overlooked something, turned to the sisters. “Because I'm an actor, you see. Professional. Left my career for this mission. But I don't think the break will hurt me. God rewards the faithful. Also, I'm extremely talented.”

Kurt might have thought Elder Saint James was flirting if he hadn’t known him. But that was how Elder Saint James talked to everybody.

“You're just a tad vain, aren't you?” said one of the sisters—her name was Schwester Pepper. “Have you talked to President Steele about fixing that problem?”

Elder Saint James’s eyes lit up. “I have, actually. He's been super patient and supportive in trying to help me with it. How did you figure out I struggle with vanity? You're very perceptive.”

“Um, you bragging about your acting career?”

“Oh. That? That wasn't vanity. That's just true.”

Schwester Pepper and her companion gave each other scandalized looks.

But it turned out Elder Saint James was extremely talented. Kurt had done these kinds of role plays with him back in the MTC, but either had forgotten how good he was in them, or Elder Saint James had somehow managed to get better at acting during his two years of proselytizing.

Actually, that sort of made sense.

They were having so much fun, Kurt should have been utterly indistractable. But at some point during their role play, Elder Anderson entered his line of sight, halfway across the room. And Elder Anderson was gently unwrapping a Kit Kat.

It shouldn't have reminded Kurt of the act of disrobing. But somehow it did.

Images plucked from memories and dreams flickered through Kurt’s mind: Blaine’s body behind Kurt’s, his hands warm on Kurt’s shoulders as he helped him remove his coat; Kurt loosening his tie, and Blaine stepping closer, so very very close, to unknot it and free it from Kurt’s collar; the two of them in bed, Blaine unbuttoning the top buttons of Kurt’s pajama top and leaning in to kiss the exposed skin of his collarbone.

Then Blaine began to eat the Kit Kat, and that was Kurt’s undoing.

Blaine ate it slowly, first sucking the chocolate off its tip, like it was a finger that needed to be licked clean. He nibbled it millimeter by millimeter, and Kurt tried not to look, but every time he glanced away his eyes dragged themselves back, watching to see the Kit Kat disappear into Blaine’s mouth the same way those bananas had that one time—the way other, unthinkable things could disappear into a warm, wet mouth.

Every thought vacated Kurt’s brain. He knew the people around him were talking. He knew he was supposed to say something comprehensible soon.

But desire flooded him, washing everything else away.

“Excuse me.” He stood up so fast, he almost knocked his chair over. “I need to use the bathroom.” He stumbled toward the door.

The bathroom was empty when he got there. A window high up on the wall, just above his shoulder height, was propped open. He leaned against the sill and took a deep breath. He smelled concrete and some sort of flower and the faint odor of car exhaust. He heard a cat meowing in one of the apartments across the street.

The door swung open behind him. “Oh.” It was Elder Saint James’s voice. “I thought you had to use the bathroom? That was fast.”

“I do. But I need to breathe first.” Kurt needed to breathe and to think unsexy thoughts and … actually, getting Elder Saint James to talk to him would probably help. Without the visual stimulus of Blaine Anderson seducing a Kit Kat, he should be able to focus on his friend’s words.

Elder Saint James sidled up next to him at the window. “Are you having a panic attack?”

“No.”

“Because I've had enough companions with panic attacks to learn how to talk people through them, if you want me to.”

“It's not a panic attack. I just needed a break.”

“From me?”

“No.”

“Did something the speaker said upset you? Are you having a crisis of faith?”

“What? No.” Or maybe Kurt was, but that was more of an ongoing thing and not the problem of the moment. In any case, it wasn't something he wanted to discuss with Elder Saint James.

“Sick of your mission?”

“No.”

“Thinking sexy thoughts?”

Kurt wished there was a cave somewhere he could disappear into. “Excuse me?”

Elder Saint James shrugged. “You look a little panicked, but you say you're not having a panic attack. If it's not a panic attack, in my experience, there are only a few things that make a missionary look that way: a crisis of faith, realizing that you still have time left on your mission, and sexy thoughts. So which one is it?”

“I'm pretty sure there are other options.”

“Like what?”

Kurt couldn't think of any.

“It's OK if you have sexy thoughts, Elder Hummel. We all do.”

Kurt stared out the window. “Thanks for your support.”

“Was it me? I wasn't trying to be sexy, but I know I just had this natural kind of magnetism and I don't always know how to turn it off.”

“No, Elder Saint James. It was definitely not you.”

“That's good, I guess. Who was it, then?”

“You know what, Elder Saint James ? I think I'm ready to go back to the chapel.” Kurt pushed against the sill to propel himself backward toward the door.

But Elder Saint James didn't move. “Is it me, or does Elder Anderson really like you?”

Kurt’s skin, from the back of his neck around to his nipples and down to his toes, went cold. “Elder Anderson’s not gay.”

“That's not what I meant. I mean, if he is or if he isn't, it's not of my business. What I meant was, I wondered what that might be like for you. Because even though he's sort of quiet, I can tell that you two have this vibe. Like, the one that all companions strive for. And you know how they say companionship is preparation for marriage? It teaches us that we can love someone even when we live close enough to learn all their flaws, and to be patient, and all that stuff? Well, you guys have that vibe like you’ve actually learned it. And I just thought … I don’t know.”

“You thought I’m being inappropriate with my companion?”

Elder Saint James guffawed. “No way. Not you. You’re too rule-abiding. I just thought it would be nice if you found that vibe with someone who was like you. But also supremely inconvenient to find it while you were on a mission. And I never really had to worry about that because I'm not gay, and that doesn't seem fair. I guess that's what I was thinking.” Elder Saint James sighed. “Because that vibe, I think that's what a good marriage is based on.”

Kurt’s heart was pounding, pounding. “Are there rumors? Because he's not gay, and it's not fair for people to spread rumors just because—”

“There aren't any rumors. Everyone knows how upstanding you are, Elder Hummel.” Elder Saint James turned away from the window to look at Kurt. Really look at him. Kurt stared at the wall. “And Elder Anderson flirts with the sisters too much for anyone to spread rumors about him. I mean, he doesn't say much, but whatever it is that he says, they just melt for him like a vat of fondue.”

Kurt relaxed. He even felt a smile turning the corners of his mouth. “I keep telling him that, but he denies it. He says he's just friendly and has no improper intentions.”

Elder Saint James raised his eyebrows. “Huh. Maybe he's like me. The kind of guy who just can't help but attract attention.”

Kurt outright laughed at that. He stepped forward and rejoined Elder Saint James at the window. It was getting late, the sun lighting the street orange as the first lamps flickered on. “Have you ever had a special vibe with somebody?”

“I'm not sure. I've had some pretty cool companions. But maybe I'm still too self-centered for it to really happen.”

“I meant with a girl.”

“Oh, yeah … No. Despite appearances, I'm a good Mormon boy. I never let myself date anyone seriously before I left on my mission. And I don't think you can really develop that kind of chemistry until you've spent a lot of time with someone. But I'd like to have that someday. I'd like to find a girl who really gets me, and I get her just as much. And sometimes I wonder if I can get that in the church. Because in the church, I'm supposed to be priesthood authority, and she's supposed to be my helpmeet and, sure, we're both helping each other but … I'm just not sure how we can really connect like best friends should if I technically preside over her. I want to be equals.”

“The roles are equal, just different.” The words felt hollow in Kurt’s mouth.

Elder Saint James didn't answer. Across the way, a cat appeared in an apartment window. Kurt wondered if it was the same cat he’d heard meowing earlier. It didn't look anything like Stürmchen, and yet he thought of her, which made him think of Blaine.

The thoughts weren't so troubling now. They were thoughts of warmth and closeness. Blaine was a good person. He loved that cat the same way he loved everyone, unreservedly and without judgment.

Elder Saint James was right. Kurt’s feelings for Blaine were inconvenient. But they also gave Kurt a window into what marriage might be like, what it felt to be truly loved.

And that was a good thing.

#mormon!klaine #wowbright writes fic #klaine-word-scramble #klaine fanfic #mormon stuff #kit kats #vacated vat cat tad date ate eat cave act acted tada #missed vet vac cad caved data

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