there really is a cultural pressure for transmascs & men to detransition, and it comes from all sides. it comes from the queer community too, not just terfs and cishet transphobes.

it took me a while to realize why transphobic people and transandrophobic queers utterly despise trans guys & mascs who are over the age of like 25- it's because it pisses them right off that we've resisted their attempts to make us detransition. it makes them so angry to see they were unable to groom that person into a life of self-shame and repression. it really seems like MOST people believe that trans men will just detransition eventually in life? people NEVER think about older trans men, only teenage trans boys and trans men in their very early twenties.

when i was involved with my local punk scene i was addressed with condescension, almost everyone around me didn't accept transmasculinity as a legitimate identity and thought that we would've transitioned by now in life. i encountered folks who would talk about transmasculinity with subtle disgust that made me feel like i was doing something wrong, and people who expressed overt disgust, saying in plain english that they were disgusted by breasts and vaginas because they were gay men. all along the way i was literally mocked for not having a penis, and one of my roommates started treating me differently once they found out i didn't have one (because they were attracted to me)

i've been on T for 9 years, and been out as a trans man for a bit longer than that, and i noticed as i've aged i've also attracted a lot of folks who have tried to deter me from identifying as a trans man, either through directly telling me that trans men are inherently dangerous, or by implying that women or another gender are safer, quieter, calmer, "less traumatizing to be around," etc. one of my exes told me they were terrified to date me (despite literally going out of their way to do so for over half a year) because they were scared i would be transphobic to them because i'm a transmasculine lesbian.

i received pressure from online friends to either detransition and become an intersex butch woman, or to something feminine adjacent or nonbinary. for years i dealt with a few friends who kept subtly hinting that i should stop identifying as a trans man or trans masc because of how awful transmascs are- going as far as to sending me screenshots of transmascs speaking, complaining about them and calling them whiny, annoying. talking about how all transmascs are entitled, how all transmascs take things too personally, how we complain too much, and so on.

people make no effort to make space for transmascs and men. i met 0 transmascs in my local punk community that i was able to stay in contact with. none. i met a few in passing but none that actually were introduced to me in a capacity where i could actually try to befriend them. it really felt like other punks in the scene were desperately trying to keep the transmascs apart at times. excuses were made as to why i couldn't hang out with other transmascs i liked, but i was constantly being forced to befriend transphobic cis gay men and transandrophobic transfemmes who outwardly expressed hatred and disgust of us. it really felt like it was on purpose... almost as if other members of this community wanted our attention, but never wanted us to give each other attention or a sense of community. like we were objects, not people to be included in the community for real. satellite friends, if you will.

i'll be honest with you. i was at my lowest at this point. i realized i wasn't just a trans man and that i'm a genderqueer person who experiences multiple genders, including womanhood and an "other" gender, which was great. however now i was being forced to completely stuff down being a man for the sake of other people. instead of folks telling me they'd rather not hang out with transmascs, folks rather just attempted to guilt me for identifying as such in the hopes i'd stop identifying that way. i was being told daily that trans men and mascs are inherently violent and terrible to be around. i was in discord servers where transmascs were being kicked constantly for getting even slightly upset about transandrophobia, or being unfairly targeted by staff.

it's violence, but nobody wants to call it that. i pulled myself out of there and am now able to contact other transmascs and trans men who are proud of who they are and have elevated me back into a headspace where it's okay to truly be myself. just keep in mind that if you feel like you're in that situation, you're not alone. people who attempt to groom others are often very subtle it's not always up front. they will start slipping in hateful sentiments very slowly and make you feel like maybe they're the ones who are actually right.

it feels good to be an almost 32 year old trans guy. there's nothing to be ashamed about there. people project their feelings on to my gender and that has nothing to do with me. it has nothing to do with you, either. people will just project on to you for whatever reason- hatred is usually the motivator there. if you encounter folks who keep trying to badger you out of identifying as your gender, no matter who you are, transmasc, transfemme, transneutral, trans anything- they are not good for you. they are not your friends. they do not accept you as you are and you deserve so much better.

I NEED more aro and non binary songs/coded songs, ones that give off the same vibe as romance is boring by Los Campesinos or I/me/myself by Will Wood

The lighting in my room is pretty good sometimes

Tips ♡ Treats

Reblogs appreciated, keep comments in the tags unless we're mutuals 🩷 (he/they)

Feeling hot 🥵

as a general rule, if you refer to a non-binary person who has not given you permission as a "creature", "entity", "bug", etc. you have failed at being normal about non-binary people and i want you to reflect.

Teachers at my school love to call me 'it' because they can't figure out my gender and refuse to use they/them in a singular sense but little do they know my queer arse gets so euphoric and powerful when called 'it'

I painted a non binary rock to add to my rock garden. I chose the non binary flag because I am a demiboy, so I partly feel male and partly feel non binary. I wanted to add this part of myself to my rock garden. Here is my updated rock garden.

You look marvelous darling! Does your wife know?

Does your wife know you wear woman's panties and wear dresses that you have hidden in the garage?

can you do frye and the nonbinary flag? :3 she matches with it hehe

Nonbinary Frye icons for the soul~

Requested by anon

Made by me!

Free to use, credit highly appreciated!

Vinnie Heaven

Gender: Transgender non binary (they/them)

Sexuality: Queer

DOB: N/A

Ethnicity: White - British

Occupation: Actor, playwright, writer

A transmasculine person speaking about TME/TMA

Whenever a transmasculine person criticizes the use of the terms "TME/TMA", someone comes out of the woodwork to say:

"Of course, you criticize TME/TMA, you are transmisogyny-exempt! uwu"

It's almost like people who are negatively affected by something, might feel the need to speak on that thing.

Wow, who would have thought?

Oof. 29 today ☠️ 🎂

Made it this far and feeling pretty good about it

The world may not be getting better quickly but it was actually worth it to stick around

Turns out it wasn't a phase mom

🖤💀💋

Stick around. It's worth it 🖤

I promise

Do you think "it/its" is a neopronoun?

-yes, it's rarely been used for people respectfully before so it's a neopronoun,

-no, it existed before as a pronoun so it's not a neupronoun,

-it's complicated/it depends (elaborate in reblogs, comments or tags),

I think using "it/its" pronouns is valid, but I'm not sure if it counts as using neopronouns or not.

If this one is disrespectful/harmful/transphobic in any way, feel free to not post it!

THIS IS NOT TO INVALIDATE ANYONE THIS IS JUST YOUR OPINION

Hello Daddy 😋🏳️‍⚧️