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sepia-stained-sunset · 1 year

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Bruce, in denial: I'm so proud of you, my three most well behaved children

Dick, Duke and Tim, busy tying an anchor to Joker to dump him into Gotham Bay: Mmhmm

#Jason Damian and Steph are more dramatically chaotic #tim drake #duke thomas #dick grayson #bruce wayne #incorrect bruce wayne quotes #his kids are feral #batkids #batfam shenanigans

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heavenlyangeliq · 2 months

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Batman “You became Just as bad as he was when you killed him”

Red Hood “You did it first when you spared him and let him kill much MUCH more than I just did. You let so many people die because you couldn’t kill one. I saved God knows how many people by killing one, and that I can live with.”

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incorrect-waynemanor · 1 year

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bruce: i left everyone instructions for when i’m gone

dick: mine just says “dick, no”

bruce: i want you to apply it to every possible situation

cass: mine just says “cassandra yes”

bruce: same rules apply to you

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it-happened-once-in-a-meme · 10 months

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Twitter AU

Bruce Wayne✅️ @brucewayne

Don't worry, we're not changing the name of Wayne XDustries. Haha, got you there

#brucie wayne #bruce wayne #bruce wayne twitter #dc universe #dc twitter #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect bruce wayne quotes #bruce wayne incorrect quotes #twitter #x #funny #twitter au

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vodrae · 7 months

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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

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incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly · 16 days

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*in a hospital room*

Tim: Am i in trouble?

Bruce, who just found out Tim doesn't have a spleen: Take a guess

Tim: …no?

Bruce: Take another guess

#batfam #batfam incorrect quotes #dc #dc incorrect quotes #batman #tim drake #bruce wayne

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daemonmage · 1 month

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Bruce about to reveal his identity to the JL

Bruce: “I’m going to do something that may traumatize two of you. I am not sorry.”

Oliver: “oh come on Batman your identity isn’t that special.”

Bruce going full whiny play boy: “Dinah! Ollie is being mean to me!!!”

Oliver: blue screens

Dinah: “YOU BITCH!?”

#batman #bruce wayne #oliver queen #green arrow #dinah lance #black canary #dc comics #dc characters #dc #dcu #dc universe #justice league #JL #jl incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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batcavescolony · 1 month

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*hanging out at Titans Tower*

Dick: do you know what I hate? People acting as if JASON was an angry Robin-

Jason: can you not?

Dick: shut up! I'd say I was angry as Robin, Damian for a bit, Tim a little bit but JASON! JASON?

Jason: I have a rep-

Dick: HE WAS ADORABLE! He said 'Robin gives me magic', he had his little front curls, he used to wrap himself up in his cape so he was just a yellow triangle with legs, he looked like a little duckling!

Jason: *launching himself at Dick* SHUT UP!!!!

Dick: *prying Jason's hands away from his face* HE-

Jason: IGNORE HIM! He's a liar.

Donna: Jason you worked with us as Robin to fight Brother Blood. We know how you were and you were adorable.

#jason todd #comics #dc comics #robin #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #nightwing #teen titans #donna troy #troya #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam

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ditzybat · 1 month

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tim: sweet dog you got there. gordon: yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog. tim: still training huh? gordon: red robin.. what do you mean? tim: ... tim: nevermind...

#he has a blunt in his utility belt he plans to share with spoiler later #and a cart #and perhaps a guava ice lost mary that he hits whenever bruce isnt looking - its like a game #stoner tim drake my beloved #dc #tim drake #james gordon #robin #red robin #batman #batfam #bruce wayne #spoiler #stephanie brown #incorrect quote generator

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celaenaeiln · 16 days

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Bird: *whistling*

Dick: *whistling back*

Bird: *whistling harder*

Dick: *copying it*

Bird: *excitedly hopping around and whistling a tune*

Dick: *grinning and copying back*

Bruce: Nightwing, stop that.

Dick: why? We’re just whistling

Bird: *chirping in agreement*

Bruce: *glaring at the bird* such a behavior is a security risk. You’re needed on fourth. *taking off into the night*

Dick: ..??? What was that all about?

Tim: *over comms* Bruce thinks all birds are government spies

Dick: What? That’s dumb!

Tim: …mhmm

Dick: Tim, don’t tell me you believe it too. That’s ridiculous!

Tim:

Tim: ...it has plausible theory!

Dick: ...oh my god Tim.

Bird: *sad chirping noises*

Later

Dick: You know, there's another reason why I know they aren’t government spies.

Tim: and why’s that?

Dick: *holding back his laughter* Because they’re whistleblowers

Tim: ... :0

Tim: oh my god they're whistleblowers

Dick: okay no.

#dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #red robin #bruce wayne #batman #batfam incorrect quotes

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sepia-stained-sunset · 1 year

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Batman, shortly after giving Green Lantern a strong talking-to about not submitting reports on time: And here, my report on- [blinking down at his empty hands and suddenly remembering what happened earlier that week] I do not have it

Green Lantern: What?

Batman: [stone faced] I do not have it

Wonder Woman: May I ask why?

Batman: [squaring up his shoulders] My, ah, my cow ate my report

Green Lantern: ....OH SO WHEN I SAY THE TIME-SPACE CONTINUUM DISRUPTION DESTROYED MY REPORT, IT'S A PROBLEM, BUT WHEN IT'S YOUR COW-

#incorrect bruce wayne quotes #bruce wayne #hal jordan #diana of themiscyra #batcow #dc

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avensartt · 2 months

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Quote from Scrubs

#its damians pet manatee #batfam #batfamily #dc #art #incorrect batkids #incorrect batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #tim drake #bruce wayne #red robin #batman #artists on tumblr

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galaxymagitech · 22 days

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Bruce: Congratulations, Jason! You’re the first of my kids to graduate college!

Dick: Yeah, first and only one for all eternity!

Bruce: *Ignoring Dick by sheer willpower* Anyway, what are you planning to do next?

Jason: I think I’m going to continue my education in English Lit.

Bruce: *nervously* Great. You’ll get a Master’s Degree, right?

Jason: …

Bruce: …right?

Jason: Actually, I’m going for a PhD.

Bruce: This is a terrible joke. You’re over the supervillainy, right, Jay?

Jason: Look, my application to GothamU’s PhD program was accepted!

Bruce: No child! Of mine! Will get! A PhD!!!

Jason: I’m hoping to be a literature professor at GothamU, if I survive long enough.

Bruce: *screams incoherently*

Dick: I think you broke him.

#in Gotham saying I want to get a PhD #is equivalent to saying I want to enlist in the army #like we admire your sacrifice please don’t die or go crazy or be evil #either that or announcing that you’re dropping out of high school to start a rock band with the local pot dealer #incorrect batman quotes #batman #dc #dc comics #dcu #batfamily #batfam #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #humor

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91-1lover · 2 months

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What if Damian and Tim love each other and even like? It's just more of a situation "Manipulating others is easier ". Maybe an example will help;

Damian: Father, May I go to Zoo today?

Bruce:No Damian, you're grounded.

Tim:Oh, that's bad. I could go with you to take photos of otter, but if you are not going I think I will stay too. What's a zoo without company. Maybe I will go with Kon next week.

Bruce *Super happy in a moment of thinking his youngest kids getting along*: If you two agree not to kill each other, Damian can go

Tim and Damian:*Knowing looks*

Or situation like;

Tim who has abandoned issues and is having fear of people leaving him: Dick is mad at me. Can you stab me so he will be in his mother hen mode Instead?

Damian who would like to have 5 minutes of peace from Grayson: Say no more

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elecilaombre · 2 months

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Tim * holding a can of Pepsi * : Do you guys want some Pespi ?

Jason* laughing* : Some what ?

Tim : Pespi .

Duke : It's PePsi not PeSpi Timmy.

Tim : That's what I said Pespi.

Tim : Pespi

Duke : Please would you...

Tim * interrupting Duke * : Pespi

Tim * shrugging* : It's normal it's because I'm ambidextrous.

Damian : Ambidextrous ?

Stephanie * chirping in* : He means Bisexual !

Dick * at the same time * : He means bilingual !

Bruce * tired dad™* : He means he has dyslexia.

#tim drake #batfam #jason todd #batfamily #dc comics #dick grayson #bruce wayne #damian wayne #duke thomas #stehanie brown #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly · 2 months

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Bruce, during a family meeting: this is just a reminder therapy is covered by our health insurance plan

Tim: why do you always look at me when you say that

#batfam #batfam incorrect quotes #dc #dc incorrect quotes #batman #tim drake #bruce wayne

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