The batkids taking shit from each other- the intimacy of knowing where the other persons weapons/gadgets/things are

The most commonly “pickpocketed” person is bruce, and he gets so used to it/they get so good at it that sometimes he forgets to take it back or replace it. 

Batman and Red Hood are staking out a new villains headquarters and jason is bored so he reaches over to bruces side and pulls out three lollipops, working through them one at a time. Bruce doesn't even flinch, even as jason's hand digs deep into his side to reach the last one. Then later he has to calm down this little girl, reaches for the pocket, and finds he has no more lollipops to comfort this child with. So he reaches over to Nightwing, who is currently in deep discussion with a police officer, and tugs some sweets out from his shoulder pocket and hands it to the kid. Accidentally, he also takes a replacement grappling hook wire with it, since dick is a mess and has all sorts of shut crammed in every pocket thats not supposed to be there, but he just shrugs and tucks it into his own replacement wire pocket. Then dicks line breaks a few days later and he reaches for his pocket- and its empty. So he does a double backflip off the building, lands on top of a swinging red robin, snatches some replacement wire from his boot pocket, recharges his gun and is gone within a few seconds. Tim continues on like nothing has happened. When he lands on the next roof, Spoiler is waiting for him, and he gives her a quick kiss, reaching to the back of her waist band to grab a small knife and throw it at the goon coming up the stairs. A few days later steph is hanging upside down with cass and reaches for her knife, only to come up empty handed, so she just grabs the one cass has strapped to her thigh and peels her orange with that instead. Cass shrugs, drops from the ceiling on bruces shoulders, pecks his cheek and takes one of his daggers from his chest pocket. Three days later damian yeets his katana at Riddler(it misses but the villain is traumatized) but now the young robin is out of a weapon, so he ducks under cass’s legs and takes the dagger, sending it flying into a nearby goons gut. Bruce is both horrified and proud of his children and instates a weekly meeting to double check that every has all of their things. A very startling amount of gadgets and knicknacks are passed from hand to hand at these meetings, returned to their rightful owner. Bruce, naturally, has the largest pile that he has to put away. The kids all snicker into their hands as he glowers, shoving the weapons and pepper spray and gum pieces(“why did you take them if you weren't even going to chew them!!!”) back into his suit as they all finish up an hour before him and just watch. 

So Bruce putting stickynote messages in his kids lunch boxes everyday right. Now imagine, they all kept them all this time, every child he had early enough to have them be in school. And say he finds out about this and he's emotional... but, he finds out Jason kept them all and he's just full on in tears.

I'm laughing so hard at your "I hate it here where's my dad" Jason. You know once Bruce allowed himself to be found Jason would be on him like a barnacle for at least a month.

The thing about Bruce is, - if he dissapears for a month? Each and every Batkid knows not to panic. Free vacation time, sign them the fuck up, -

But. It's very, very different when he specifically walks out of the house without saying anything. That's when they're left to stand around, confused ducklings staring at eachother like. B. B where you goin' can we go too-

Like, when he leaves for missions? Great, amazing, spectacular, not a bead of nervous sweat inside.

If Bruce is obviously getting ready for some errands or just going out? Well of course they want to tag along!

" It's just the store, you'll get bored"

Jason isn't above wrapping his entire body weight around Bruce's leg like an octopus with way too much vengeance. And Damian isn't above acting on his little brother instinct where he has to copy everything his big brothers do

bruce wayne refers to playing hide and seek with his kids as 'treasure hunting'

My current on-going obsession/hyperfixation with Batman is thriving thanks to the fandom. Particularly the BatFamily fandom, particularly any interaction of Brucie Wayne and his 10+ kids.

Like -

Valley Girl Bruce Wayne lives in my head rent free. (@red_finch on tik-tok does skits and I love it)

Bimbo Bruce Wayne and his equally ditzy eldest, amazing. (I don’t get nearly enough of Dick being the little shit that he is)

Tired Dad-Bruce and the gremlins he barely (if at all) keeps under control. (Their favorite pass time is raising his blood pressure)

Trying-to-be-a-good-parent Bruce and his brood of Traumatized (TM) half feral children (I’m always thinking about hurt/comfort).

I love cannon, but it has hurt me too often. DC gave us Wayne Family Adventures and it gives us so much. The fandom, however, has and continues to give me more. ❤️

Cass hc

Cass has the highest score on Just Dance out of the whole batfam

(Dick is second but still nowhere near Casses high score 💀)

AU where one of the batkids finds out that they’re also bruce’s biological child and sues him for the all of the child support money that he owes them

DC/DP Crossover Idea #12

Instead of Batman adopting Danny, Jack Fenton manages to accidentally adopt all of Bruce’s kids. No one is sure how this happened but Jack isn’t questioning why he has a sudden surplus of black haired and blue eyed kids, they’re part of the family now.

“A werewolf cub?!” Dick blurted out, surprised.

“Dickhead, it could be a real wolf!”

“A wolf here? In Gotham?”

“Okay, it seems unlikely put like that…but if another werewolf coughed up, how did it get here?”

"Good question…"

Bruce wasn't interested in talking now: he had to take the cub to the den and keep it safe.

So he went to a corner that he usually used to rest when he returned from his hunt, he lay down and began to clean up the new member of the pack and give him his scent, so that no one would have strange ideas of claiming something that was already he.

The cub had stopped wriggling, looking disconcerted by all the care, and oh, it made his heart ache.

Had the cub's parents never taken the time to be with him? Had they never cared for him and kept his enemies away from him?

It was unacceptable, and Bruce was increasingly sure that he had done the right thing by bringing him along.

He heard a chuckle, "Aww, it's adorable in a way."

Read more Pack's bond

Talking about This AU

bruce wayne is not a girldad 😭 the only time he tells cassandra he’s proud of her is after she pulls some suicidal self destructive insane shit

Damian having to draw his family for art class and most kids just draw themselves between their parents and their siblings but damian keeps going over to the teacher to ask for more paper and after handing him about five extra sheets she is exasperated and walks over, fully believing hes like messing around and turning them into paper airplanes or something and instead finds a picture of him, standing surrounded by all eight of his siblings, his father, his butler, a random reporter with his wife and two sons, a woman, his mother, and about ten other people that the teacher can vaguely pinpoint as a billionaire from a nearby city, and some other less known names. “What is this damian?” she demands confused. Damian looks up at her, equally as confused. “You said to draw my family.” He gestures to the drawing. “This is my family.” The teacher sends it to Bruce and he cries. The drawing is framed and hung up over the mantle.

So, I've been making my own Batkids age reversal AU, because of my incredible amounts of brainrot! However, something that's boggling me is what happens to a certain Robin. Like, in the major timelines that I know of, something happens to a Robin that affects Bruce's time as Batman. On Prime Earth, it's Jason dying. In Batman Beyond, it's Tim becoming Joker Junior. There isn't much evidence to dictate is these events are due to, "Something bad always happens to Jason", Something bad always happens to a Robin (no matter who)", or "Something bad always happens to the 2nd Robin". So, now, with batkid age reversals having over 800+ fics on AO3, I wanna see what people prefer happens to Tim Drake in these AU's!

i was telling my friend that i feel like the reason why bruce wayne can never be a perfect dad is because he's a vigilante / protector of gotham first and foremost. before being a son, a father, a citizen or a human, he sees his role as a protector of gotham- a soldier. that's why his robins and sidekicks are always going to be soldiers to him before being his kids. he'll give them harsh training, traumatize them, lick them into shape so that they can be the best soldier (in his eyes) they can be before they receive his care or affection. and... it's not right, but can you really blame him for ensuring his robins/sidekicks are on their toes at all times? they can't afford to make a mistake, they're only mortal!

maybe the mortality of his kids, the risk they face, is part of the reason why bruce can't be a gentle father. superman can afford to not train his kid so harshly because jon doesn't face the threats the batkids do. as long as bruce's kids are in this line of work, he can't assume the role of 'father' to them as much as he must assume the role of their trainer. they're his responsibility and each of their lives, if lost, is his failure. he can't risk that.

no but literally like the last post i rb'd...i luv luv luv bruce being 100% head over heels for his kids i think it's SO cute. i fully 100% believe that he is ALWAYS thinking about his kids cause he loves them so much. like theyre his motivation for everything. like on an offworld JL mission it's all just 'i gotta get thru this so i can get home to my kids' shot like 100 times cause hes batman and that would happen 'i gotta survive this for my kids' rogue threatens to go after his greatest weakness his mind immedietely jumps to his children. i love bruce doing bedchecks and pulling them behind him at galas and holding their hands when they fall asleep in the car and sitting next to beds after they get knocked down no matter how much work he has to get done,,,,

bruce being like 'go get some sleep' (i love you) 'here, eat' (i love you) 'we can leave early if you'd like' (i love you) 'don't scare me like that' (i love you) 'i'll drive you' (i love you) 'you're cold, come here' (i love you) 'i love you' (i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you).

like AURRRRGHHHH bruce loving his kids so so so much is so important to me! GIVE ME MORE OF IT

On why Batman took in the Robins

There is not much that I hate more than the “Bruce Wayne needs light to balance the darkness of Batman” justification on why each of the robins took up the job. It makes the already a little bit militaristic relationship between Bruce and his actual children just that much worse.

I’ve always thought that the reason why all of the Robins were made into Robins was because they literally could not be stopped.

Like imagine, Batman goes out one night to see a tiny child beating the fuck out of gangsters demanding the location of Tony Zucco. This pint sized kid apparently broke out of his orphanage and has spend the last several nights with no martial art training terrorising the Gotham nightlife and there is so much rage contained in him that any attempt to stop him is just going to make him more furious and that much more unstoppable. So Bruce takes him in and tries to curb the anger and it kind of works but now the kid fucking refuses to stop fighting crime and Bruce is just horribly equipped to handle this conversation so he just allows it and vows to protect Dick at all costs.

Later, Dick has left and Batman is equalising and figuring out his now solitude, Batman finds an actual child prying off the hubcaps of the fucking bat mobile in crime alley on the day of his parents murder and holy shit this kid has some fucking guts to try this. And then the kid lies to Batman’s face, hits him with a tire iron, yells an insult at him and runs away and holy shit this kid has no fear. Jason later proves to be as cunning as he is brave and when Jason insists on becoming Robin, Bruce knows that if he said no, Jason would find a way to make it happen regardless.

Tim is a special case, tracking down Starfire and Dick and then talking to Bruce, this kid is smart as hell and stubborn to the bone. Bruce says no because how could he say yes and Tim doesn’t fucking listen, following him around and stealing Jason’s suit to fight with Bruce and this kid who went by himself from New Jersey to San Francisco and tracked down three superhero’s won’t fucking stop. So Bruce trains him with every intention of making this training as unnecessarily gruelling and miserable as possible in the hopes of scaring this kid off but he doesn’t and now Batman has a Robin again.

And if Damian wasn’t Robin he literally would have just gone out and beheaded the Gotham night life or gone back to Talia so fuck it, Welcome to the club.

Like I understand that Bruce got emotional stability from having family around him but that as the only explanation sounds so predatory to me.